A.J. Race's Blog, page 26

A Four Letter Word

Authors Note: I’ve ranted myself blue in the face regarding my feelings about the fact that more characters on television are not gay or if they are they are only supporting characters meant for comic relief rather than characters with actual substance who the simple fact that they love someone of the same sex is the least interesting thing about them, so this is not exactly one of those posts. This is however an opinion post re: homoerotic subtext found in books, television and films, and those who have managed to notice it and perhaps delve deeper into it. 

ans of almost any t.v. show, book or movie can find homoerotic subtext in just about anything, and some people will either write them off as desperate or crazy, while others praise their assessment as everything they’ve been thinking, but we’re unable to put into words.

It’s worth noting that love does not necessarily have to equal romance. It can equal obsession, passion, desire, and everything in between. There is an admittedly fine line between love and hate, particularly when there are those who hate who they love, and love who they hate.

The Love/Hate of Harry and Draco: I admit I have personally loved this particular pairing for a long time, it was in fact the first pairing I had ever read in fan fiction. For non fans of the pair there’s an obvious question of what the hell are you talking about? Why of ALL the people you could possibly find a possible love interest in would you pick Harry and Draco? The answer can actually be found in J.K.Rowling’s own writings, in Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. In which the author herself describes Harry as quickly becoming obsessed with Draco’s actions. This is of course written in the context that one assumes Draco is inherently evil, but why is it so important to Harry when even his own friends are getting tired of this obsession? They have just as much reason as anyone to dislike Draco and be suspicious of him, but even they don’t think Harry’s obsession is a healthy one. Following him around every turn, is granted more stalker-ish than very romantic, however there’s also the fact that there is a very thin line between love and hate, and as evidenced by the now infamous Grey’s Anatomy quote, “I like you, in a really big way… that makes me hate you. Love you. So pick me, chose me, love me.” And after all this is the same author who thought that it should have been quite obvious Dumbledore’s love for his own enemy Grindlewald.

the Angel’s Sacrifice: If you have ever watched the CW’s Supernatural you probably already know where this one is going. There has been a great deal of comment six ways from Sunday about the characters of Dean and Castiel (or Cas) but none more succinctly put than the idea that this is an angel who has given up everything for one human being for whom he should owe nothing, but yet feels he owe’s everything. From the moment he pulled Dean up from hell, to killing his own family to protect him, and giving up all of himself a million times over for this other man.

Some things are a little more obvious like the line in Skyfall in which James Bond very blatantly suggests that he may or may not have had sex with a man some time in the past. Love does not have to be as obvious or outspoken as Chris and Eric’s, to be real. It can be a silent, unrequited love that burns just as strong as any other, however tragic it may sound.

-22,134 and Counting

‘m so behind in my word count goal for book 3, it’s not even funny. (To be fair I attempted to write a joke for how far behind I am, but I’ve got nothing).

I’ve said numerous times that writing book 3 has been like pulling teeth with no anesthetic and tweezers, and every time I think I’ve got it all under control something new comes up. Apparently the fact that I’ve plotted so much in advance and yet still left minor things to happen naturally means that the minor things will attempt to crumble the major storyline.

Obviously this is all stuff I can manage in edits, but getting things written down is sometimes difficult. I wish I could explain it better, but at the risk of giving too much information away as usual I must remain rather vague. Suffice it to say, I know what’s going to happen and I think that’s part of the problem. What needs to happen, versus what is currently happening aren’t matching up at times and so it’s forcing me to come up with a sort of alternative hybrid that manages to stitch together what’s happening with what I want to happen.

Maybe Bridge of Memories and Goddess of Carnage were easier because I had written them before, and in the case of Bridge of Memories I’d written them many many times before. I had a good idea of what was going to happen going into both books because even though, especially in the case of Bridge of Memories a lot changed, the general idea was still the same. However in the case of book 3, I have no jumping off points like I had with the first two books. I have nothing to reference and while I know what’s supposed to happen and how I want it all to ultimately come to a head, getting there is increasingly an uphill battle. Or at least, that’s how it feels to me. How quickly I forget however… Goddess of Carnage had moments like these. Sure I did end up writing the book in six weeks, but that doesn’t mean that it was ever a cake walk. It’s easy, after all is said and done to remember writing the book as the easiest part, but writing is never easy, nor should it be. That said… book 3 feels harder than most.

I have 3 weeks left in February. 3 weeks in which to attempt to make it to 125k, which considering I’ve yet to reach my halfway point (sadly), I am not entirely sure is possible. I know that I shouldn’t rush myself, I learned that a long time ago, and for the most part, I haven’t. But it’s hard not to feel like you should be going faster.

Jailbreak Confessional

eeping up with this week’s round of tech posts, (I didn’t intend for it to be tech week but almost all of my posts thus far have been technology related) I’ve decided to discuss my misadventures with jailbreaking my iPhone.

When it comes to iPhone the term jailbreak has become synonymous with making your phone better, but as I have learned yet again, it doesn’t seem to always be worth it.

Back in the good old days of the iPhone 3G, jailbreaking your phone was largely free. Some big name apps cost, but for the most part everything you could want was free of charge. As the service grew and became more socially acceptable (and at some points almost expected) more and more apps cost and in most cases all of the good ones are more than I’d like to pay for an app if I can avoid it. (Anything above free better be worth it).

Desperate for a change of pace however I decided to jailbreak my iPhone 4 one last time (this was before I decided to change to the Windows Phone). My hope was that I could find a theme that would give me some of the features of said WP8 and I did. For $1.50 which I was loathe to pay unless absolutely necessary. I looked through several themes, and found that there were some options for free, but they didn’t quite like me and almost all of them required I purchase other apps which were not so free. So against my better judgement, I decided to go for broke and shell out the $1.50.

I should have known better…

To purchase apps via Cydia (the jailbreak store) one must have a Paypal account or an Amazon Payments account. I have Paypal but no money, and don’t use it for anything so I wasn’t sure how that would work. I decided to create an account with Amazon Payments which was a nightmare and a half, and that I will probably lose another dollar for. Ultimately Amazon informed me it would take 5-7 business days for them to confirm my bank and frankly after the hassle of getting the account even up I should have cut my losses and said forget it. But I finally figured out how to work Paypal to accept my credit card and bought the app.

Needless to say, I’m grateful it wasn’t more expensive. It might be fun to play around in, or too look at, but promising the ability to change tile colors (a feature I’ve yet to be able to manage by the way). I will probably go back to using it just because I can be a little cheap and I want to feel like I got my money’s worth, but I think I was expecting a little too much.

This is not the first time I’ve been disappointed by jailbreaking and I’m really not sure why I continuously try it hoping it’ll be better this time around. I really need to stop reading all these Apple blogs that talk about the greatness that is jailbreak tweaks. If you do have an iPhone and are curious about jailbreaking I recommend doing a Google search and possibly even checking out a few Apple blogs to help you. It’s a pretty straight forward process, but whether or not it’s worth the effort depends entirely upon your needs and what you’re hoping to get out of it.

For those of you who don’t have an iPhone or don’t understand… jailbreaking is a) different from unlocking which is now illegal, and b) where by use of a computer app you hack into your phone to tweak and modify the software. 

I will attempt to get back to the posts on writing, self publishing and/or design tomorrow.

Leaving The Hive

arlier this week I posted an article The Phone Affair  in which questioned whether or not I would be willing to make the change away from the iOS community and into largely uncharted territory with Windows Phone 8 (heretofore WP8). I left the post open as to whether or not I would actually do it, but I think I’ve made my decision.

I live for change, (when it’s done right). There are some things that some would argue don’t need to be changed (if it’s not broke don’t fix it right? This is the motto that Apple has lived under for quite some time now and for the most part it’s served the company well. The problem is… I’m not the only one who craves change and the fact that Apple’s phones have seen little improvement software wise, is going to cost them. Apple and it’s many fans have created a sort of hive-like mentality, or perhaps the better imagery would be a horse with it’s blinders on. But occasionally to serve your customers, you have to step outside of the hive, take off your blinders and look at what everyone else is up too, because otherwise you’re going to fall behind.

One of the largest complaints I see from Apple users is the fact that Apple largely seems to have neglected it’s computer operating system (or OS) for the mobile OS, and in a lot of ways this is both correct and incorrect. Take for instance the Macbook line which has seen quite a few updates stylistically over the last few years (much like the iPhone) but internally hasn’t seen much. The problem is Apple has become more of a hardware focused company rather than a software company like they used to be. They’re more concerned with making a device thiner and arguably more beautiful  rather than really working hard on the software where it needs the most work. Don’t get me wrong, I love Mountain Lion, I love OSX but it’s been over a decade since their last major revamp from OS9 and I think everyone who enjoys Apple would argue, there are things that people desperately want to see from Apple, particularly in the computer department. Arguably the fact that Mountain Lion is beginning to merge OSX and iOS has been one of the most debated aspects of the change. Some people love the merge, others want nothing to do with iOS and feel Apple is trying to shove the mobile platform down our throats.

It’s unfortunate that in the quest for the thinnest device (mobile or otherwise) Apple has lost sight of what makes it special to begin with. Software. The retina thing was great in the beginning, but when you’re counting PPI, technically other phones have already surpassed Apple’s definition of Retina. The biggest problem for me is that the iPhone is 5 years old. You’re telling me in five years the biggest thing we have to show for it is a slightly bigger phone, and the ability to change almost every alert tone on the phone? Apple can do better, and it’s fans deserve better. Frankly if iOS7 doesn’t start over from scratch I don’t know if I will want to return to Apple’s mobile platform.

(Not) Playing it Safe

 generally don’t check the Freshly Pressed articles on WordPress because a) I’m bitter that I’ve never been freshly pressed, b) I can’t stand the new set up of WordPress and I don’t have the time or energy to go looking for shit and/or c) I’m not all that interested. Take your pick, it’s all the same to me. However, hoping for a bit of inspiration, after the rather disastrous reception my last two blogposts received (I regret nothing on the phone front). I decided to check out the freshly pressed blogs and came across this gem, about debut novels and playing it safe.

It’s an interesting article on it’s own but if left me wondering… what constitutes ‘playing it safe’? Did Bridge of Memories play it safe?

If I understood this concept correctly (which is a big fucking if), then I’m going to say no, if for no other reason because my main characters in a Y.A. fantasy were a) gay b) sexually active c) Eric gets pregnant and has a miscarriage  Three things which you will not often find in most novels, particularly not the Y.A. kind. (Or even N.A. which is generally what I lean towards these days–even for book 1). The fact that they are sixteen and swear like sixteen year olds do may not necessarily be that edgy, but it’s definitely not safe either.

I would definitely agree with Mr. Sanchez’s opinion that playing it safe is not the best advice for a debut novel, but I think one person’s definition of playing it safe might differ from someone else’s.

And as some authors (hopefully) have learned, being edgy doesn’t always work for them. the Casual Vacancy is arguably edgy for J.K.Rowling, even if not a debut novel (and especially when compared to Harry Potter) but either because we are so used to the Potterworld or some other reason, a lot of the ‘edge’ to TCV come’s off more uncomfortable than anything else. While I am loathe to ever compare Ms. Rowling to E.L. James, Fifty Shades is a perfect example of a debut novel that did not play it safe but that came off more uncomfortable than  was necessary.

A Phone Affair

‘m notorious for my love of all thing Apple, something I’ve made no secret of over the last few years. I admit, I balked at the idea of an ‘iPhone’ the first time I heard about it, but to be fair, smartphones weren’t really a thing back then. But the moment I first laid eyes on the device I was in love and with each new iteration I all but drool over the new beauty. (You have to give Apple credit, they take some beautiful ad shots).

All that said… I have a confession to make. I’m thinking about having an affair with the Windows Phone 8. Specifically the Nokia Lumia 920.

I’ve been loyal to iOS since the iPhone 3G, roughly four years and two phones now, and while the software has seen quite a few improvements, I find myself wanting more, some kind of innovation that would make a phone stand out, and the more I read about Windows 8 the more I must say I’m smitten. Reviews call it daring, and bold while always highlighting that the app store pales in comparison to that of Android and iOS and I admit that’s a bit of a worry for me. For the sake of fairness Windows says it has about 125k apps currently and considering it only came out about a year or two ago I would say that’s not bad. The app store didn’t even exist until the iPhone 3G which was the second generation so… they’ve done fairly well in roughly the same amount of time.

Right off the bat the Nokia Lumia 920 has a few things going for it. It’s a hundred dollars less than the iPhone 5, while 32gb (vs. i5′s 16) and a 4.5 inch display. It took Apple 5 generations to finally decide to up the screen to 4 inches. There’s also the fact that technically Nokia’s display has more pixel density and a higher resolution camera at 8.7 megapixels rather than 8 on the iPhone 5.

Siri (arguably iPhone’s biggest selling point) is hit or miss. No one I know (and even those I don’t) likes Siri. In fact she seems more of a nuisance than anything else and while cute, she’s used for dumb things, no you cannot marry you’re phone. Stop asking. Apple fans (usually like myself) would argue that like most apps, as Siri gets to know you she improves. Also it is a beta application, but is being able to ask my phone questions that important to me?  Would I ever even use it? I had DragonGo, Google’s voice search thing and Siri before she was bought out by Apple and eventually forgot all of them. Just because it’s built in would it really be different?

The lack of apps is a bit worry some but with the way people are talking I think  Windows might actually have a product that could really go head to head with iPhone, if even I am interested, you know they’ve got to be doing something right.

So what this ultimately boils down too is… am I willing to give it a shot? Two years in phone time is ridiculously long… there are a thousand what-ifs, that can only be answered with experience. I want a change, and I know that the Windows 8 phone is definitely that. Can I take the leap, or is it better the devil you know?

I’d love to hear your opinion on either phone below. (Let’s try to keep the mudslinging to a minimum please.)

Creative Balance

ne thing I have always known about myself when it comes to writing is that I don’t want to be known as a serial author… that is, I don’t want to be stuck in one genre, just because it’s A: something I’m told I’m good at or B: because it’s what my fans expect of me. But in reading The Casual Vacancy I’ve come to learn that branching out isn’t as easy as it might seem.

If you’re lucky enough to find some kind of loyal following with any one of your novels, how do you branch out away from what you’re readers are used too without completely alienating them in the process? Especially if you’re an indie author who hasn’t quite pinned down your audience yet. What then?

According to just about every writing book known to man, the first rule of writing is to know who you’re writing for. Who’s your audience and why should they care about your story/characters? Assuming you’ve figured that out, the next challenge is… how do you write a story that’s technically for a completely different audience while keeping the same audience you found with the first book?

Life after Secrets of Witches is going to be a little complicated because I know that the stories I have planned afterwards aren’t going to be anything like Secrets, if for no other reason because they won’t be fantasy. I would like to believe that if I write a compelling enough story with characters that readers are able to see themselves in, it won’t really matter that it’s a different genre.

Writing Therapy

ery late last night, one of my oldest friends texted me, he’s been having a bit of a rough time for a long time and sometimes he just needs someone to talk too and vent too, and I’ve always been willing to be there in any way that I can. In fact I’m happy to help any of my friends when they need it.

Writing has always been a form of emotional release for me, through writing I can vent my feelings, and I can disappear into my story, and after doing this for almost a decade now… it’s easy to take for granted just how much writing does for me. Until something comes along to remind me, how much writing is my own form of therapy. Because not everyone has this creative outlet to disappear into. Not everybody has the ability to slip into their own world and write down their emotions and desires and obsessions in the hopes of creating art.

I’ve come to realize something out of all of this. For as much as I groan about the worst parts about writing, and for as much as all writers whinge about certain parts of the process… in an odd way, we’re luckier than most. Growing up, no matter what happened, I always had my writing to disappear into, I always had it as a form of therapy, and that’s not something everybody can say. The ability to channel all of the emotions, the good, the bad, and the ugly the heartbreak, the upsets, the happiest memories and our darkest hours into art is a gift. One that we should try to share with the world wherever we can and maybe we can inspire someone else to find their own gifts and share them with the world.

Evolution of a Novel

ne of the most exciting parts about letting my ideas sit and bake for a while is how much of an evolution they’ve made since their inception. In a post a few months ago I wrote about the evolution of the Secrets of Witches storyline and the characters, but Secrets isn’t the only story that’s evolved, in fact of the six novels I have planned over the course of the next few years, almost all of them have definitely grown from the original storyline I had for them in my head into the outlines I’ve created for them so far.

Part of what makes this evolution so exciting is knowing that the stories have become even more amazing over time than I ever imagined they would be, and that makes them exciting to write and even more exciting to look back on how far it’s come from where it started. This probably isn’t true for all stories, and maybe this feeling isn’t true for all stories, nor should it be. Maybe it’s because I’ve grown as a writer more in the last few years, or maybe it’s because there needed to be time between when I came up with the idea to when I actually felt it was finished and ready for the idea to mature and perhaps even me to mature with it.

I am always loathe to say that I am a more mature person now than I was when I first started writing, because when I was younger (and even now) there’s nothing more annoying than having someone tell you you’ll understand when you’re older or you’ll do x when you’re older. Am I more mature than I was back then? Of course, but I was pretty mature even then. The point I’m trying to get at is… my ideas needed time to mature as did my writing, and while I hope I never stop growing as an author, perhaps my ideas will need a little less time to mature in the future.

An Update on the Casual Vacancy

For those even remotely curious about the hold up regarding my review of the Casual Vacancy I can only report that it’s going to be a bit longer.

I’m not (in general) a slow reader, the problem is I’ve been a little busy working on writing (or attempting too) that I haven’t really had much time for anything else. That said… I will tell you this, it’s a very very bizarre book, unlike anything I could have expected or imagined and I’m still not entirely sure how I want to conduct my review. I don’t want to get nit picky and discuss all the little disturbing elements I have found along the way (even though I have made note of them perhaps to be mentioned during the first episode of TDR Radio),if only because that would probably take up way to much time in a blog post.

I promise I will get back to reading it soon and I will post a review the moment I’m finished.