A.J. Race's Blog, page 25

Impatient Dreamer

‘ve never been one to dream small, I’ve also never been one for patience, and the combination is rather lethal at times, particularly to my sanity. I try to take comfort in the fact that I’m not in fact adrift on a desert island (even if it does feel like it sometimes), and that there are probably plenty of people who mostly understand what I’m going through but… it’s hard not to feel isolated sometimes, like you’re the only one who can’t seem to make their dream come fast enough.

I’ve always been of the belief that when something is meant to happen, it will; you’d think that’d make me a little more patient, but thus far I’ve just found it frustrating as hell, because then I wonder, when will it be the right time? Next thing you know, I’m driving myself up the wall with a thousand what-ifs and honestly it’s gotten rather exhausting as of late.

Worse still, the older I get the more I worry I haven’t accomplished as much as I wanted too by now, and that’s a vicious cycle nobody wants to get into, because really, at twenty-one, one might argue self publishing two books is pretty damn impressive. Sure I haven’t been on the NYT Bestseller list (which by my second book, I really was hoping for)… but I’m working towards my goals and I know that at this point that’s all I can do.

PS: I seem to have these great revelations about once every six months or so (maybe every year depending on the mood) so if you have seen a similar post or see on in the future, understand it isn’t that I’m seeing it for the first time, I’ve always known I just forget and have to be reminded occasionally that no, actually I can’t control the universe. So keep working because that’s all you really can do. 

Undervalued Wit

 have a feeling that whoever first suggested that sarcasm was the lowest form of wit was either trying to be sarcastic themselves, or doesn’t have a clue. Unfortunately, that person, like far too many people for my liking, really undervalues sarcasm.

One of my favorite quotes says that sarcasm is the bodies natural defense against stupidity. And I quite agree, for most people. Often times it comes so easily that you don’t even realize your doing it until it’s already happened. Unfortunately for writers and bloggers, written/literary sarcasm often goes unnoticed or is assumed to be actual hostility, rather than an attempt to prove a point.

When I was in high school, I took a journalism class. It was exceptionally fun and I got to write a few interesting articles; some of which were actually published in the school paper including one about emotions and their readability through virtual means. Eg. The computer or cellphones. The article was mainly about the emotional readability of text messages, like how someone could say something to you and for whatever reason you read it as if their mad even though emotionally speaking you have no idea how they were feeling (unless they texted in all caps) because it’s a text message with almost no emotional connotations. It’s difficult to detect a feeling in the way someone says something, and yet we assume we know how the author felt when they said it.The same can be said for blogs and/or novels or really any written word that features sarcasm that maybe some people just aren’t getting, and probably never will.

I tend to try and point out my sarcasm in blogs, but occasionally I let it slide, like in the post where I mentioned that I didn’t read Freshly Pressed pages because I was bitter about not being freshly pressed.

That for those of you who couldn’t tell, was mostly sarcasm. Would I love to be freshly pressed? Who wouldn’t? But my not being so isn’t a factor in my not reading it. The biggest reason is… I’ve got things to do. I follow, at least 30 blogs on WordPress, several hundred across 2 blogs on Tumblr, 500+ twitters, plus attempting to write my novel, you think I really have time to remember to check Freshly Pressed on top of all of that? Not a chance.

My point of all of this, (and yes I did actually have one) is that you should really learn to be more sarcastic. Especially you, Jordanna. You never know when it might come in handy.

Fact(less) Argument

here are lots of arguments I really can’t stand… but one of my favorites (for lack of a better term) is the ever popular (and gaining popularity amongst lunatics people everywhere): Right we should make stricter gun laws, because criminals always follow the law. 

This… always makes my head hurt for twenty different reasons. Not the least of which is… then why should we have laws at all? Clearly law breakers don’t care, and you don’t think it’ll matter so then why should anything be a law? We don’t we just live in total anarchy? I mean do these people really think that if there were no laws, society would just cary on like normal?

You keep living in that fantasy world of yours.

I would love to live under the delusion that even without laws and oversight people’s moral compass would keep them from doing amoral acts, but if Wall Street has taught us anything it’s that, people without laws and oversight can get away with murder and when there’s no one to stop them they will. They’ve already proven that in spite of the backlash they’re more than willing to sink the country yet again into economic depression if it gets them a few extra billion.

Now sure, there will always be people who even without laws would (probably) not do certain things that are considered wrong. But think about it this way… if you grew up not knowing that stealing was wrong, and there was never a law to stop you, how would you know it was?

Laws don’t in themselves stop crime necessarily, they aren’t magic, but they provide consequences when someone does commit a crime, hopefully to show other would-be lawbreakers that if you try this, there are consequences, and you will be severely punished and maybe, just maybe, someone else will think twice before trying it.

Of course, it doesn’t help that the media makes mass murderers into celebrities as a matter of routine. Most people couldn’t name any of the victims of a mass shooting, but the killer? Always. Then we write books about them, make movies and t.v. shows about them or what they did, and the public will eat it up like candy. I know, because I’m not innocent. I was glued to CNN Headline for months during the whole Casey Anthony debacle, I was fascinated and disgusted and horrified and I couldn’t turn it off to save my life. Like most people I was horrified when she got off, but the point is, everybody knows her name. She may or may not (depending on your opinion) have killed her child, and regardless she was all but a celebrity.

Platform 1 1/2

ne of the elements I will never forget about every writing book I’ve ever read or half read (as the case often was) over the last decade was that you needed a platform if you ever hoped to get an agent, and while I’m still largely debating whether or not I want to go that route again with the next book after Secrets of Witches is complete I wonder does the smattering of followers I’ve managed to accumulate over the years from Twitter, to Facebook, to this blog count as a platform? Granted it’s not a large platform, it’s not Grand Central Station… but it’s larger than any platform I’ve ever had and I definitely appreciate every single follower I have. The fact that you put up with my bitchy rants and attempts at humor (which I hope I make at least one of you besides myself laugh at), makes me all kinds of happy. And when I get a new comment (especially when it’s from someone who’s followed me for a while) I always smile. Because after all this time, after all the failed blogs and all my various attempts at creating a brand for myself I can finally say the words I’ve been longing to say… “You like me… you really like me!”

Oh Sally. Yes, we do love you.

Thank you for loving me… now if you really love me, you should definitely check out my books. Smooches.

PS: It’s really weird saying books, plural, because I keep forgetting I have two books out now.

Adventures in WP8

his Saturday I was finally able to get my new phone, after much debate on color I ended up getting the black Lumia 920 and I’m pretty much in love.

As I expected, there’s a little bit of a learning curve coming off the iPhone but it’s pretty easy to get on board, and for all the talk of an underdeveloped app store, of the 20 some odd apps I use regularly only two weren’t available on the Windows Phone Market. (I’m not a big gamer so maybe that helps). The only app I could really ask for is an official Tumblr and Google Chrome, I don’t care for Internet Explorer, but I’ll use it for now.

Because I got it from AT&T (and they happen to be running a sale until the 21st) I got a free wireless charging dock, which has become seriously my new favorite thing ever. Why all phones don’t charge this way I will never know.

I had read from Nokia and WindowsPhone.com that there was a sort of Siri equivalent on the phone but I couldn’t figure out how to use it, and I’m pretty sure no blog I’d read mentioned it. Kind of like how it works on the iPhone, you press and hold (for a second) the Windows symbol on the phone and it comes up. Another thing I don’t really remember reading about is the Windows Phone’s ability for multitasking also similar to the iPhone. Press and hold the back arrow and it opens up all of your previously used apps.

The two biggest things I’m still having a little trouble getting used too (though it’s only two days in), is the lock screen button being on the side, and having to still press answer for when I’m receiving a call even after I’ve unlocked the screen.

It’s unfortunate that you can’t customize your text tone like you can in iOS 5/6 but maybe that’ll come in time. It may be a mixed blessing, after all, I used to have “Ooh gurrl you got a shemail” from RuPaul’s Drag Race as my tone for when I got a new email (still have it on my laptop) and I eventually had to take it off my phone because I’d get awoken at 3 am with a very loud OOOOH GUUURL YOU GOT A SHEMAIL… we are so not amused.

All in all though I’m loving it, and I think in spite of what tech blogs have said to the contrary Windows is a serious competitor against iOS and Android. I’m still a diehard Apple fan, but I really want the Windows Phone to go further. You’re already on ABC’s Scandal. 

MDNA And Me

few days ago I happened to catch Madonna on the Ellen Show on Youtube and it was a very fascinating interview in which I learned that not to my surprise, I actually have a lot more in common with the singer than I previously thought, not because I can sing or anything (and definitely not because I’m as flexible as her, though here’s hoping some day…) but because she like myself is an artist. She’s driven, she knows what she wants and she’s not afraid to do what it takes to get it. And like all artists, she admitted, she’s never really satisfied with her work either. I can’t really say for sure why, but it’s always comforting to hear people who are wildly successful admit that they’re often just as insecure as the rest of us. Artists are perfectionists by nature (in fact I can’t think of a single artist I know who isn’t a perfectionist), we strive to make things the best we possibly can, but ultimately we know that if we’re ever going to give our art to the world we have to let it go.

A few months ago I read a quote from Da Vinci that said, art is never really finished, merely abandoned. This almost sounds sad, but when you consider how long an artist could spend on one piece of work it also makes a lot of sense. At some point, you have to be willing to let go. As Andy Warhol said: Let other’s decide whether or not your art is any good. 

I’m sure I’ve said all of this before, but like many things it bares repeating, because even though this is my third book, I know that it will be just as hard to let go of as the first two. Letting go is perhaps one of the most difficult parts of being an artist, deciding that it’s time to show the world what we’ve created; and I don’t think it get’s any easier just because we’ve been down this road before. I can’t help but wonder… by the hundredth book does it eventually get easier? Anybody who happens to know Stephen King ask him that for me, would you? Better yet, give me his email I’ll ask him myself.

PS: For any of you who may have just crashed your Delorean into my blog, from the 1980′s, no I did not mistype my title. I very much meant MDNA, the title for Madonna’s latest album, not the shortened technical term for ecstasy.

PPS: … at least I think I’m funny.

Doing What You Love

ecently whilst cleaning out the photos on my old phone I came across a little quote that said, what you do when you procrastinate, you should probably be doing for life. Which sounds nice in theory. But as many people can tell you, it’s all fun and games until it becomes an actual job. Take graphic design for example. As of late it’s become something I do when I know I should be writing, but either don’t have the energy, the time, or the will to write anything new. I try out new designs (either for the website or just experimentally) but it’s just for fun and it’s just for me. The idea of actually turning that into a career makes me nauseous to even think about. Unless I’m working for myself and under my terms. Writing is and has always been the only thing that I’m passionate enough about that I can say with all honesty that it never really feels like work. There are parts of it that start to feel like work, but even then I still love it and wouldn’t change it for the world. Writing was the thing that when I was in school after I’d finished all my work I would instantly move too, and now that it’s become my official job description I’ve had to find alternate means of procrastinating. Which is why I design.

One of the biggest problems I have with this quote though is that sometimes you need downtime from what you’re doing, I can’t be writing all the time. You need some kind of a break in which you do something completely different so your brain doesn’t melt and dribble out of your ears. Most writers will argue that what I should be doing in my downtime is reading, and sometimes I do. The problem of course is that I’m a rather picky reader and so if I don’t like something it’ll take me forever to finish. Case in point: it took me maybe two weeks to finish The Girl Who Played With Fire. I still have not finished (nor do I plan too) the final book in that trilogy.

I realize that to almost everyone I’m probably taking that quote a little too literally, but I do so to make a point. You should definitely do what you love, because as they say it will never feel like work when you do, but remember loving something isn’t really enough. A lot of my fellow art students have come to learn that there’s something rather draining, artistically speaking about being in school, and perhaps it’s the school environment itself or maybe it’s just doing what you’ve only been doing as a hobby, now 24/7 but it doesn’t work for everyone. Find something that you know you could do for the rest of your life and never get tired of it. For me, that’s writing. For you maybe that’s science or accounting. Figuring it out is the hardest part, but once you know… you’ll know.

I Refuse To Wish You A Happy Anything!

Bitter? Who me? Never.

I don’t need romance of my own, I have characters to live vicariously through like the rest of the people in the NUTHOUSE! All in all I’d say I’m taking this fake excuse for a holiday (because apparently you NEED a day to say I love you, because the other 364 days of the year YOU CAN”T BE BOTHERED!

I’m really not bitter.

I promise.

I’m just in no mood for nonsense. So I will spending this “day of love” watching horror movies (which I love) and eating chocolate (which I also love) AND TO HELL WITH ANYONE WHO SAYS I SHOULDN’T!

That’s all.

PS: I shouldn’t have to say this, but this was an attempt at sarcasm. I haven’t completely taken a dive off the deep end. This was a misguided attempt at humor, let me know if you laughed at all.

PPS: I will, however, be eating chocolate and watching horror movies and maybe (hopefully) be getting a bit of writing done. I’m finally not behind since I recalculated and realized I actually had an extra five weeks. I’ve been basing the date I wanted to be finished on the date I go back to school for the next quarter and for some reason I thought it was March and not April, so YAY I’m not behind now! I just have to try not to get behind again.

 

What’s That Word Again?

e’ve all been there, we’re on a roll, writing really great stuff that we actually love, our characters are witty and everything is perfect until… shit. Wait, what’s that word… you know the one? The one that means that thing but it’s… ackkk!

Nothing will kill a good writing session faster than forgetting a word that you know you know but for some reason just won’t come to mind. Worse still you can barely remember what it actually means, only what you’re trying to say. It’s because of this phenomenon that happens, frankly far too frequently for my liking, although if it happens once a year that’s too frequent to me, I’ve researched all kinds of reverse dictionaries, and still I’ve had little to no success. Eventually the word will come to me, or I will try and put an alternate word in it’s place with a note to myself to come back to that because that’s not the word I wanted to use there, but there really is no worse feeling for a writer than the complete halting because you’re trying to figure out what that word was, and I’m probably not alone when I say that you almost can’t get back to writing because even if you want to stop thinking about it, you can’t help but come back to it over and over. WHAT WAS THAT GOD FORSAKEN WORD?! I swore i just used it a few weeks ago, but of course that was in real life, not in your book so naturally even if you did use it, there’s no proof of it’s existence.

Even better is when you finally remember the word in question and you look it up in the dictionary just to be sure and you realize, it didn’t actually mean what you thought it did, so it’s not the right word anyway, so you’re right back at square one. Or is it just me that this happens to? If anyone else has this problem how the hell do you fix it? Do you just ignore it and move on or does it fester in your brain all day until you manage to figure it out?

2-12-12

oday marks the one year anniversary of this little adventure we call self publishing for my first novel Bridge of Memories. I still can’t believe it’s already been a year and while a lot of my initial hopes for the year didn’t quite pan out as I planned (books 2 and 3 were not published in the same year), it was still a very productive and exciting year over all.

I would give you the rundown but I think if you’ve been on this blog long enough you have already seen it all.

Lots of school, the evolution of Racewood, lots of blogging (with a few scattered breaks here and there) and two books written and published with a third one started in the tail end of the year. There has also been at least two or three complete graphic overhauls of this website, as well as a gaining number of followers and fellow bloggers for whom I have a great deal of respect. Daily blogging is not an easy trick and while I should probably drop it down to weekly if I’m ever to keep my sanity (or maybe even 3 times a week), I’m going to avoid doing that for as long as I can. All in all it’s been a crazy exciting year. I’ve managed to sell quite a few books and have had some interesting reviews in the process. Some good, others well… Bridge of Memories isn’t for everyone.

For those of you who were kind enough to purchase my book at any time (whether during the free period or since) thank you. From the bottom of my heart thank you, and if I could ask one little favor from you, please review when your done. Thank you.