Edward Lorn's Blog, page 86

“Zzyzx Rd.” by Stone Sour

Back in December 2013, I noted that I wanted to change directions as far as my writing was concerned. I had some things to wrap up and see to completion, and now that everything’s as well taken care of as possible I believe I can step away for a while without anyone having a nervous breakdown. I will be reachable on social media until May 5th. If you need me for anything, catch me before then. After Cinco de Mayo, I will go completely dark, and do not know when I will return. During this time, I will not be posting reviews or updates on what I’m reading, nor will I be doing promos for any of my published material. All that can wait until my return. I’ll post an official “Goodbye For Now” before I vanish on May 6th that will detail what you can expect from me when I return.

I think this song covers well enough the last several months of my life on the internet, and it just so happens to start with Z, so I can close out my A to Z Blogging Challenge with it as well. Don’t you just love it when stuff comes together all wrapped up nice and neat with a bow on top? I know I do.

Until next time…

E.

“Zzyzx Rd.” by Stone Sour

I don’t know how else to put this

It’s taken me so long to do this

I’m falling asleep and I can’t see straight

My muscles feel like a melee

My body’s curled in a U-shape

I put on my best but I’m still afraid

Propped up by lies and promises

Saving my place as life forgets

Maybe its time I saw the world

I’m only here for a while

But patience is not my style

And I’m so tired that I gotta go

What am I supposed to hide now?

What am I suppose to do?

Did you really think I wouldn’t see this through

Tell me I should stick around for you

Tell me I could have it all

I’m still too tired to care and I gotta go

I get to go home in one week

But I leaving home in three weeks

They throw me a bone just to pick me dry

I’m following suit and directions

I crawl up inside for protection

I’m told what to do and I don’t know why

I’m over existing in limbo

I’m over the myths and placebos

I don’t really mind if I just fade away

I’m ready to live with my family

I’m ready to die in obscurity

‘Cause I’m so tired that I gotta go

Where am I supposed to hide now?

What am I suppose to do?

You still don’t think I’m going see this through

Tell me I’m a part of history

Tell me I can have it all

I’m still to tired to care and I gotta go

Oh yeah

Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah.

Still too tired to care and I gotta go

Still too tired to care and I gotta go

Still too tired to care and I gotta go

Yeah, yeah

Still to tired to care and I gotta go

Go home

Still to tired to care and I gotta go

Yeah yeah

Still to tired to care and I gotta go

Ruminating On: Q&A Tagging Shenanigans

Jeff Brackett tagged me in this craziness, so I must comply, lest he showers me with his hose… Scratch that, reverse it… or something like that. Anyballs, here’s the dealio: He tagged me, gave me four questions to answer, then tasked me with finding another author/blogger to pass the torch to. Who I chose will be at the end of the interview. Now, without further anal dew…

What are you currently working on?

Yo momma! Was that rude? Probably…

Anyway, what was the question? Oh, you want to know about my current writing projects! Well then, Unnamed Imaginary Interviewer, why didn’t you say so?

Linton Bowers and I just wrapped up PORT IN A STORM, the first book in a series of three or more, and we’re waiting on beta readers to return from their sabbaticals with valuable intel. After we chew the fat over their suggestions, we’ll ship the book off to editing. And we all know that’s when the real fun starts (cue lackadaisical trumpet!). Then, moving from the back burner to the red-hot eye that is my work-in-progress shelf, we have CHUCKLERS, my collaboration with Jeff Brackett (the sadistic bastard who talked me into doing this interview you’re reading now). In the near future I have JXSAVES, which is the novel-length follow up to my novelette, CRAWL. JXSAVES takes place before and after the events of the first book. I’ll more than likely be combining the two into one big volume when I’m done. Speaking of combining stuffs, my ongoing serial, CRUELTY, is still a thing. Working on getting Episode Five out, then I’m taking a much needed break until August so that I might be able to have the last five episodes spat upon and polished like fine urban china. Let’s see, what else? I have three shorter projects in the wings, either being written or awaiting editing dates, but those titles are for another time.

How does your work differ from others in its genre?

Answering this question would be to assume that I am unique. A fragile snowflake I am not. There are plenty of horror authors who write the kind of stuff I write, which is either horror with heart or themed horror. Above all I think I’m more of a situational author (and yes, I stole that terminology from Stephen King, but it’s apt in this conversation.) I put my characters in a certain situation and see if they survive. I do appreciate a good twist, so I try to throw in a slice of the unexpected somewhere within every piece. This has been well received and hated in equal amounts. Some people don’t like being tricked, and an even greater number do not like open endings. LIFE AFTER DANE and CRAWL are perfect examples of the mercurial tastes of readers. Both books have completely open endings, but one has been better received than the other.

At the end of the day, I don’t think I’m any better or worse than anyone, and I can’t lay a finger on a single quality of my writing that is unique to me. I can be as gory as Edward Lee, as strange as Bentley Little, as verbose as Barker, as introspective as Koontz or King, as classy as McCammon, or as brutal as Ketchum, but I think that is why my work appeals to so many, because I’m able to jump fences like a crackhead with cops on his heels. You never know what you’re going to get when you open one of my books, and I dig that about me.

Why do you write what you do?

Why do you watch reptile porn while slathered in Elmer’s glue? Well, I write horror for the same reason—I like my voyeuristic endeavors coldblooded and sticky. I keed, I keed. I was raised around horror. My sisters (who are twelve and fourteen years older than me) used to love slasher films and bloody action/adventure/science fiction flicks when they were younger, that was before they grew up and had kids, of course. Now they squirm at the mere mention of cartoon violence. I remember being allowed to watch Witchboard and Friday the 13th while they were tasked with babysitting their baby bro. They sneaked me into Robocop the year it was released, and 1987 will always be one of the best years of my life. Then, in 1989, my mom thought it’d be cool to take her nine-year-old son along with her to watch Pet Semetary  at a drive-in with one of her best friends, a chain-smoking, Nurse-Ratched-type lady named Andrita. I recall hiding in the floor space behind the driver’s seat while Rachael has that flashback where her emaciated sister with the twisted spine rushes from the bed toward the camera. Little known fact: The person that played Rachael’s sister was a man. I can still hear him cackling. Anywho, after that, I couldn’t get my hands on enough Stephen King. Luckily, Mom was a member of his book club, and around the third of every month a new tome of terror would arrive. Delores Claiborne was my first taste of King, and I’ve been devouring his work ever since. I guess my choice of genre was predestined. To this day, whenever I’m surfing Netflix or at a Redbox kiosk, I still pick through the horror selections first. Same with the library or bookstores. I have to see what’s new in the scares department.

How does your writing process work?

I sit down and write. Not much else to say on the matter. I’ve recently begun plotting, but only because I’m working on several collaborations, and it’s difficult writing by the seat of your pants when you have someone else depending on you not screwing up all their hard work. Why don’t you ask my buddy, Linton, all these questions? Oh, and while you’re over there, tell him to shave. My balls are getting carpet burn. Here where you can find him:

Twitter: @LintBow

Booklikes: Drawing with Words

Website: www.lintonbowers.com

Ruminating On: Wistful

wist·ful

ˈwistfəl/

adjective




1.

having or showing a feeling of vague or regretful longing.
“a wistful smile”

Each of us has a time in our lives or a series of events with which we can look back on and say, “Man, those were the good old days,” but I’d hazard a guess that most of us were not aware we were creating those points of reference while in the moment. Sure, sometimes we stop and think, “I’m never going to forget this,” yet we rarely busy our minds with what might be when the now has our full attention.

I can honestly say that, without a doubt, I will look back on 2013/2014 wistfully. It’s not that I see my good days ending, or even waning, but, sometimes, I think, “It can’t get much better than this.”

Ten years ago, I was a homeless alcoholic. Nine years ago, I was addicted to narcotic pain medication. Less than five years ago, I smoked like a chimney in a forest fire. Last October, I was fifty pounds heavier and borderline diabetic.

Writing has changed my life for the better, yet I still consider my career a hobby. I fear that the moment writing becomes a job I’ll lose the magic. I don’t wanna grow up, nor do I wanna be a real boy. I want to tell my stories, and I want people to read them. If I can pay my bills while I’m at it, it’s all gravy, baby. And, since this time last year, I’ve been doing just that.

So, yes, I see myself looking back on this year wistfully. Because, even if things continue to get better instead of worse, I will always remember the last 365 days as the year when everything changed. My success is not solely my own, though. The responsible parties/events are as follows: my wonderful friends and fans, my dedicated family, the professional relationships I’ve built over the past four years, selling the film option for CRUELTY, and a huge spoonful of Right Place/Right Time. Oh, and CRAWL. I don’t think anyone thought that short book was going to do as well as it has, including me. I appreciate each and every person who has read, is currently reading, or is planning to read one of my books. Without you, Dear Readers, I’m nothing more than a madman talking to his computer screen. Thanks for a wonderful year. Whatever I can do to repay you, just ask.

Below you will find a list of people who’ve changed my life for the better. Some had tinsy-tiny roles, and some played epic parts. Not everyone will be here, but I’m sure you know who you are and what you did:

Chelle, Autumn, Chris
David Antrobus
Jeff Brackett
Linton Bowers
JD Mader
Jo-Anne Teal
Al Kunz
Nikki Howard
Charlene Cocrane
Paul Elard Cooley
Pep Kay
James Newman
Kealan Patrick Burke
Neil Gaiman
Eli Roth
Frank Darabont
Dot
Mom
Uma
Everyone at Red Adept Publishing
And, most importantly, carrot juice.

Until next time,

E.

Permanent Freebies

The bigger my catalog gets, the more books I can offer for free. Here is the current list of free content from yours truly. These are not on sale or going through some kind of limited promo. These books/short stories are permanently free at their respective sites. Feel free to share any way you see fit: reblog, tweet, Facebook, telegram, snail mail, boat charter, Morse code, messenger pigeon, smoke signals…

Thank you, every one of you, for your past, present, and future support.

***Please note that clicking on the Goodreads link will AUTOMATICALLY start the download of that book’s PDF.***

BAY’S END: Amazon, Kobo, Goodreads.

WORLD’S GREATEST DAD: Goodreads

JUST SHORT OF PARADISE (Flash Fiction Goodreads Exclusive): Goodreads

Ruminating On: Vested

A few moments ago, I had a conversation with a friend of mine about how one author skirted editing her book by having fifty people beta read for her. To clarify, she paid no one for their services. Her argument? She was broke. My buddy said, “She did what she had to do.” To which I responded, “No, she did what she wanted to do.” She didn’t have to publish without professional editing, but she did so anyway because she couldn’t afford an editor. Hell, some authors (you know who you are) don’t even bother with beta readers, let alone professional editing services, and end up publishing their first drafts. Of course, you all know I don’t agree with that mindset, but you may not know where I stand concerning using beta readers as your one and only line of defense when publishing.

Before we start, I’d like to note that the author mentioned above, the one who used the fifty beta readers, was quite successful. I would also have you remember that Stephenie Meyer is a millionaire because of Twilight. If you see nothing wrong with that, you’ll probably want to skip the rest of this post.

First argument: Authors who use beta readers as editors are the reason why most beta readers don’t know what their jobs entail. A beta read covers story only, and should be done before any editing, whatsoever, begins. Beta readers are there to point out plot holes and character inconsistencies, as well as other story line issues. An author uses them before editing so that the writer doesn’t double work themselves. Why would you edit something you’re not going to use in the final draft? See my point now? Maybe not, so let’s move on.

Second argument: Some will disagree with this point but I’ve known it to be true far more than false. Paying for editing means the editor you’ve employed has a vested interest in the work. I know from my experience with hospital work that paid employees usually work harder than volunteers, and are normally better trained. Now, I will not argue that there are exceptions to this rule, because I’ve know quite a few volunteers that all-around kick ass, but they are the minority, sorry to say. Final caveat to this second argument is that I also understand that not all paid editors are created equal, that some are scam artists or unprofessional or borderline brain-damaged. Just because you’re paying someone doesn’t mean you’ll get the best service possible, but it sure helps the odds.

Third argument: Selling a piece of work that you yourself didn’t want to put money into is a craptastic move if ever there was such a thing. Out of principle alone, I do not buy an author’s work if I know that they’ve somehow skirted paying professionals to work on their project. In other words, if you don’t believe enough in your work to give it the best possible attention, I don’t believe I’m interested in what you have to say.

Final argument: Yes, there are people out there who can build an entire house by themselves, and that’s fine, but I wouldn’t live in that house. That’s my prerogative. If I were to design my own abode, I would want the following: an architect (the author) someone to pour the foundation (beta readers), another group to finish construction of the home (line editors), and, finally, a home inspector to check all work (proofreaders). As with every professional construction project, the architect is there throughout to make sure the final work fits their vision. Some people hire one person to fill numerous roles, (editors who provide content editing for an additional fee, and if they’re capable of such, good on them, but I wouldn’t trust one that wasn’t getting paid extra for such an immense task) but overloading one person is never good business practice. Why overwork one when you can split the job between two and receive a second completely unique viewpoint on you hard work?

In summation: It is possible to edit your own work, but the odds that the final product will be of any quality is roughly the same as finding a diamond secreted in your anal cavity. I suppose it could happen, but mostly you’re left digging in your own ass. I hope this has helped someone out there. Until next time…

E.

Ruminating On: Used

There’s been heated debate in the author community over whether or not used books should be allowed. It comes down to two sides: authors who feel they are being robbed of profits, and authors who believe that, as long as people are reading, they don’t mind how people come across their work. I’m in the last group. I prefer to be read over not not being read. Also, I fully believe that, if I’ve done my job, readers will purchase my books new after sampling my offerings through a secondhand market. I come to this theory through experience, knowing that if I find a book at a USB by an author whom I’ve never heard of, and I like their work, I’ll buy their stuff new simply to support them. I’m like this with movies and music as well.

Then we have a handful of authors who balk at having their work available at libraries. This seems beyond silly to me, and I’ll explain why. Any author worth their salt is a reader at heart. Most of us learned a great deal of our craft among those shelves. I know that, when I was but a wee lad, I might as well have lived in my school library because I spent more time there than I did at home. Librarians have always been heroes to me, and I believe Neil Gaiman’s quote, “Google can bring you back 100,000 answers. A librarian can bring you back the right one.” to be an irrefutable truth. I’ve also purchased a great many books brand new from brick-and-mortar shops after having read them first through library lending. Some books demand a place on my bookshelf, and I’m sure many of you will agree wholeheartedly with that statement. Used booksellers are as much of a threat to author profits as ebooks are to paperbacks and hardcovers. There will always be those who will prefer new over used, and vice versa. Attempting to deny the frugal your work is a greedy venture, and you’re not harming anyone other than yourself.

Last but not least, we have authors who support DRM. I’ve heard it said that Digital Rights Management first surfaced because booksellers didn’t want readers to be able to enjoy ebooks on their competition’s devices (e.g. Amazon didn’t want fans of B&N reading Kindle books on Nook). This soon escalated to authors installing DRMs simply to keep people from pirating their hard work. While I agree that the theft of intellectual property is wrong, the fact remains that the majority of people who are out there stealing books wouldn’t have purchased them anyway. Once again, this comes down to whether or not an author is in this business for the money or as a way of providing individual escapes. Like you, I dig money, but I can work a nine to five to make ends meet. Writing isn’t my only skill, but it is my passion. I believe that a great many authors have lost sight of their true purpose. They’ve lost the magic, as it were. Me? I have faith that if I’ve provided a distraction from this maddening world in which we live to a single reader that their enjoyment is payment enough. The funny thing is, the more books I give away, the more I sell. I know that’s counter-intuitive, but it’s also the truth.

Ruminating On: Senses

Desperation tastes like relighting a cigarette butt you found in an ashtray because you can’t afford a fresh pack of smokes. Stress smells like the sweat that pours from your armpits down your flank while you’re waiting to talk to your boss about your recent attitude toward him doubling your workload. Frustration feels like spending the last of your cigarette money on deodorant only to find out you’re now allergic to the brand you’ve been using since you hit puberty. Rage looks like your boss’ red cheeks after you tell him where he can shove the extra duties he’s piled on top of you. Contentment sounds like you slamming his office door, like your tires barking as you peel away from the employee’s parking lot, like freedom.

Desperation tastes like alcohol purchased with panhandled change. Stress smells like gun bluing. Frustration feels like cold steel on your tongue. Rage looks your eyes reflected in the mirror over the sink. Contentment sounds like gunfire.

Ruminating On: Reading

Read a book.

Coming this Holiday Season!

Tybalt Shrew purchased the Mercury Coupe in the winter of 1951. He signed the bill of sale two days before his boy was possessed by… something.

 Juliet wasn’t the first, and she won’t be the last.

Ruminating On: Quagmire

Surprise! I have family visiting today. Do you know what this means? It means that all you get is this picture of Quagmire. Later!