Larry Benjamin's Blog: Larry Benjamin's blog - This Writer's Life - Posts Tagged "beaten-track"

Years ago, we moved to the ‘transitional” neighborhood of Germantown (in Philadelphia), then said to be on the verge of a comeback. There was much talk about The Germantown Renaissance which was talked about breathlessly and in the tone of reverence usually reserved for people who “know” computers and pop stars who appear in bikinis two weeks after giving birth. Sixteen years later there is still talk of The Germantown Renaissance. This reminds me of all the news that short stories were poised for a comeback, its return to popularity fueled, in part, by shrinking attention spans and the proliferation of electronic devices. I am as dubious about the Short Story Renaissance as I am about The Germantown Renaissance.

Short stories seem to be the stepchild of literature. Publishers don’t seem to want to publish them. When I started shopping around my first collection of short stories, I was told that no one would publish a collection of short stories, unless I’d first written a novel length work. This seemed to me counterintuitive. How was I to write a novel without being able to write a short story?

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Don’t judge a book by its cover.

We’ve had that drilled into us—at least my generation did, and, to a large extent, we believed it—I believed and I still do. At least as far as people go. And dogs—you ever meet a dog who looks mean and you want to step back but then he approaches you gently and licks your hand?

Anyway, never judge a book by its cover, unless of course, it is a book. I’ve been thinking about covers a lot lately. It started when we released Vampire Rising , my allegorical Vampire novella. It pays homage to Bram Stoker’s Dracula while reinventing the Vampire genre. In the story I tell there were certain elements that helped tell the story—mockingbirds who appear wherever Vampires gather, the iron gates that demarcates the separation between the Vampire state and the human world. And the story is described in grays and purples. So I wanted to include all of those elements that in the cover.

When my publisher notified me that they would be re-releasing the Boughs of Evergreen holiday anthology, which contains my short story, “The Christmas Present,” I jumped at the chance to change the cover. As I said, I’ve been thinking a lot about covers. With Vampire Rising, I deliberately choose not to have a man on the cover—I felt there were too many m/m romances with buff shirtless guys on the cover.

Thinking about the new cover for “The Christmas Present,” I realized what troubled me most about all the men on the covers of gay books was the fact that they are almost always white. Once I realized that, I set out on a mission to find a black guy to put on the cover. The scene below is taken from The Christmas Present and is what the cover is based on:

He erupted out of this seething, boiling cauldron of salt and water, cloaked in moonlight and sea foam like an ermine cape. He stepped out of the rioting sea with the easy sinuous grace of an eel. About Aidan’s age, he was handsome, with broad shoulders and a narrow waist. His body, well-muscled and solid, seemed to vibrate with suppressed energy, seemed to contain all the fury of the sea, tightly reined. His beryl eyes, which seemed to hold all the colors of dawn, searched the beach, found Aidan standing stock still, his long flaxen hair plastered to his skull and shoulders by the sea spray.

Then came Black&Ugly: A Tale of Men & Wheelbarrows which is a stand-alone story but also features Mama Black Widow, the old Obeah woman who appears in “The Christmas Present.” Because Ugly tells the story of a dark skinned young man who is taught he is ugly because he is dark, I knew it had to have a dark skinned black man on the cover. Deb and I discussed the title—it was originally much more innocuous—I suggested another title and Deb took it a step further and made it bold and in-your-face while also telling a story. I knew this cover was going to be special as we worked through several covers iterations. Still I was blown away by the strength and power of the final cover the designer delivered.

If someone wants to judge this book by its cover, I am good with that.

This morning at 2 am EST, after eight months, 61,000 words and eighty-three drafts, I sent my newest book to my publisher. I’m romantically inclined to say writing this book was a labor of love, but the practical me says it was just labor. Eight months is pretty good for me. Usually it takes me a year to write a book, though Unbroken only took nine months.

I am amazed I wrote 30,000 words in the last three months so essentially half the book was written in three months. Reading it though a last time this week before submitting it, I realized once again that the story I tell isn’t the story I sat down to write back in August. And months into the writing of it, I realized I had to restructure it because the way I envisioned telling the story—in flashback, starting at the end and working forward—just didn’t work for the story.

At first the idea of writing a different book and structuring it differently to my first idea, scared me, but this is my fifth book; I have learned to trust my instincts, to believe in my talent. With this one, I wanted to challenge myself, to write something a little different, in a different way. This story is tighter, more pared down than my previous books. It’s more like my blog series, The Corporatorium , than my other books.

Will readers like it? I don’t know. But I do and I’m rather proud of it. But I’m still checking my email every ten minutes to see if my editor, has sent any feedback yet.

In the meantime, I need to pick my life back up: respond to ignored emails and calls; bathe the dogs; tackle the inch of dust on every surface in the library; sort and file my notes from the book that litter the desk in my office, spilling onto the radiator and the floor.
Yes, leaving the writing cave is even scarier than entering it and setting out to tell the story in your head and heart.

Today is the release of my third novel—my first full length work since Unbroken which was released in 2013. This is my fifth release in six years—still it feels like the first time I’ve ever released a book. It’s accompanied by the same worry, the same doubt: did I write the best book I could? Will readers like it? Will anyone read it?

On Saturday, we saw Diana Ross in concert at the Mann Center in Philly. The outing was part of our new effort to get out more, to do things together. Our therapist says that’s important—yes, we have a therapist; after twenty years together, the waters of matrimony are still sometimes difficult to navigate. Anyway, back to Miss Ross. I watched her closely, as I watch all artists—and let’s face it we writers are artists, too. I was impressed by her energy, her humanity: from the stage, she came off not so much as a diva as a person, doing her best and hoping to please a crowd. Her daughter opened for her and she brought her grandchildren on stage—yes Miss Ross is a grandmother. Not surprising at 73 but still I always saw her as the legend, the diva, Miss Ross.

I watched her closely. Her brand is remarkable, familiar, and flawlessly executed: the hair, the glamorous form fitting—but not vulgarly so—floor-length sequined gowns with modest trains and miles of organza wraps.

Recently an opportunity unexpectedly presented itself which allowed me to escape the work-a-day world—at least for a while. I wasn’t necessarily looking to exit the job market, but I’ve been around the block enough times, and seen enough horror movies, to know that when a door slams shut behind you, you jump through the nearest window. So, I’ve had the wherewithal and time to focus on the release of this new book. Which meant thinking about marketing and understanding my brand. If Miss Ross’ brand is elegant old school glamour, mine is a kind of unflinching, almost brutal, honesty. Love isn’t everything and it isn’t always easily won. And romance isn’t all sex and flowers and candlelight. It requires compromise and patience and commitment, and room for others and the demands of a life lived. All of this is reflected in In His Eyes. I like to think I wrote a grown-up love story, less a coming out or coming of age story, and more of a coming to terms story. For most of us, gay men, gay men of color, in particular, (though I think this is true also of women and people of color and pretty much anyone outside the ruling majority) it’s all a life lesson, a negotiation, a schooling in the art of creating a place at the table when none has been reserved for us from birth.

In His Eyes tells the story of four young men, friends, and lovers, who meet in college, and spans more than two decades. But, unlike my other books, this story is told from multiple points of view. So, we get to know each character intimately. We get to watch Micah, Skye, Reid, and Calvin grow into manhood and learn to navigate the world and their relationships.

From this writer’s stage, I did my best and I’m hoping to please my readers. And I’m hoping they will be moved by the honesty, the humanity, of my characters.

Happy Release Day to me! And a big thank you to Debbie McGowan and the entire Beaten Track family for helping me bring another book into the world.