Dev Bentham's Blog, page 12

Seth’s Valentine

Moving in Rhythm (Carina 2012)

It’s been a couple of years and I thought you might be interested in what’s up for Mark and Seth from Moving in Rhythm.

The original story is available on Carina, Amazon and Barnes and Noble

Seth’s Valentine

“And five, six, seven, eight.” Seth snapped his fingers and watched his first grade dance class fly into their unique chaos. He glanced at the ornate wall clock, a studio-warming gift from his folks. It needed dusting. Ten more minutes. Just enough time to practice the sunflower routine for the spring recital.

He clapped his hands and the kids lined up in a vaguely snaking line, Mackenzie the reluctant tail. She was forty pounds heavier than the other kids and the butt of all their jokes, no wonder she hated dance class. Seth had seen the same thing with his oldest sister, who’d battled weight all her life. She was convinced she would have found her own way to health if their parents hadn’t shoved her into every humiliating group physical activity they could find. Seth had no idea if she was right, but shame didn’t help anyone. He’d offered to give Mackenzie private lessons at the same price, but her parents thought she needed a social life. Right. Some social life.

As he passed out the props, his knee started to ache. Not compared to what he’d made himself endure in the old days, but enough to make him glad the day was almost over. His post-accident life of spring and fall recitals, choreographing small town musicals and teaching exercise classes on the side was a long way from the professional dance life he’d planned. He’d spent years sweating and straining and gritting his teeth against the pain, only to find himself sidelined from the dream. And happy. Amazing.

Ten other girls, two boys and round little Mackenzie tiptoed in a circle, waving their plastic sunflowers. Flowers. He should stop on the way home and pick up some. They hadn’t talked about Valentine’s Day. Did Mark have something planned? Sometimes it was hard to tell what was going on inside that gorgeous head of his.

Half-way round the circle, Mackenzie tripped and went down on one knee. The boy behind slammed into her and stumbled. Kids laughed, a girl yelled. Mackenzie’s bottom lip quivered. Her eyes on the floor, she seemed to shrink into herself. It was heartbreaking. Seth stepped in, broke up the incipient fight and dismissed class. The dance floor thundered with the pounding of little feet as everyone rushed toward the anteroom and their parents. He squatted next to Mackenzie, still huddled on the floor where she’d fallen.

“You okay?”

She looked up and nodded. He pulled a tissue from the pocket of his sweatpants and handed it to her. She blew her nose and solemnly passed it back to him. He tried not to wince.

“It gets better.” He patted her shoulder, hoping he was right.

Mackenzie didn’t meet his gaze, climbed to her feet and headed for the front door and her escape.

Seth’s knee complained again as he stood. He carried her soggy tissue over to the trash can. Maybe part of being human was the instinct to rip open anyone who was different. It wasn’t the best part. He gathered up the sunflowers they’d left strewn across the floor.

The parents and children were gone by the time Seth had cleaned up, turned off the lights and shrugged into his coat. February was a cold month in Lacland. Come April they’d be staying to chat, maybe clustering on the lawn in front of the dance studio. But with the snow deep and the wind sharp, they just wanted to scoop up the kid and run.

Seth inhaled the cold air. He felt a flutter of excitement. Valentine’s Day. He still couldn’t believe Mark had agreed to move in with him. Two months, and Seth was still pinching himself every morning he woke up to find Mark’s clothing still hanging next to his in the closet. Even the dogs were happy. Of course, they’d had a couple of years to get used to each other.

As he strode across the parking lot, he pulled up the collar of his coat against the wind. Mark’s stuff in the closet, his weights in the spare room, his dog sleeping on the couch—all that added up to love, right? Mark might not have said it, but that was just Mark. He wasn’t ever going to be a talker. That’s just the way it was. Everyone was born their unique biochemical self. Especially Mark.

Seth rubbed his hands together and blew on his fingers while he waited for the old car to warm up. People always talked about courage like it was something you had when you weren’t afraid to jump out of airplanes or fight in ridiculous wars. Watching Mark, Seth had learned a lot about courage. True courage was walking into a room full of people when the very idea made you break into a sweat. Or talking to a stranger when the words choked in your throat. Or being with the man you loved even though it terrified you. Because Mark did love him. He did. Seth could tell it in the way Mark looked at him and the way his hands felt on Seth’s skin.

Flowers. Was that too much? Not enough? Seth had debated making dinner reservations somewhere quiet where they could have a table away from everyone else. But that might end up as another test of courage, with Mark going along to make Seth happy but sweating bullets the whole time. That would be a cruel valentine. Better to settle for flowers, good steaks and a long night in bed—something they’d both enjoy.

He pulled up to the curb in front of the apartment building. The lights were on. He climbed the stairs, smiling. Mark was somewhere inside. At home. He opened the door, expecting Mark on the other side, big and shy but always ready to kiss, a man whose native language was touch. The dogs bounded up to greet him.

“Mark?” No answer.

The living room was empty. The only other light was in the spare room. Mark would be lifting. The one thing Seth enjoyed about Mark’s constant anxiety was the way he soothed it by lifting weights. His hands around the barbell, his muscles bunching and quivering, sweat gleaming on his skin. Whew, baby.

Seth set the groceries in the kitchen and carried the flowers toward the spare room, which looked like a gym now—a full weight set and bench faced the mirrored wall and barre Seth had installed when he first moved in. It took a moment for Seth to register. Mark wasn’t moving. He sat on the weight bench holding up a dumbbell, his bicep bulging and beginning to shake. He was staring at his hand, a strange look on his face. Seth called his name but he didn’t look up. Shit. It had been a long time since Mark’s last full-blown panic attack. Almost long enough for Seth to forget. Almost.

Dropping the bouquet, Seth crossed the room and squatted beside Mark. He put his hand on Mark’s shoulder. “Hey.”

Seth reached for the dumbbell and wrapped his hand around Mark’s. Mark blinked, looked up at Seth and let him help lower the weight to the ground. Seth held Mark’s gaze. It was the only thing he knew to do, stand witness to Mark’s pain and fear without flinching. Sometimes it helped. Sometimes it didn’t. But at least he was there.

“I’m sorry.” Mark croaked out.

“Nothing to be sorry about.” Seth rubbed Mark’s arm. It had to hurt. How long had he been holding up that weight?

Mark looked away. He swallowed. Seth stroked his arm. He hated watching Mark struggle—it left him feeling helpless, useless and mad at the universe for making life so hard for sweet, sweet Mark.

Seth nodded toward the kitchen. “I got some great stuff for dinner. If you walk the dogs, I’ll cook.”

Mark shook his head. He gestured toward his foot. “Fucked up my ankle. Took the dogs out an hour ago but I need to give it a rest.”

“You hurt yourself? How?” Seth followed his gaze, trying not to panic. His knee seemed to pulse an SOS—injury, danger, scary stuff. “Do we need to get you to the emergency room?”

“Just twisted.” Mark used his tee shirt to wipe his forehead. He met Seth’s eyes. “Stupid. I was trying to dance, and tripped.”

Seth stared at him. Each word made sense but this was Mark and… “Dance?”

Mark looked down. A deep blush colored the back of his neck and into his cheeks. He cleared his throat. “You like to dance.”

Seth stared at him. The dots slowly connected. “You were practicing so we could go dancing?”

Mark nodded, his eyes glued to the floor. “For Valentine’s.”

Seth’s chest ached. All those people crushed together on a dance floor—Mark’s biggest nightmare. “Oh man. You don’t have to… that’s such a sweet thought.”

“No. It’s not. I’m not.” Mark shook his head violently. “For Christ’s sake, I should be able to go dancing with the man I love.”

Seth sat back on his heels. The man he loved. His eyes welled and he blinked. He reached out and brushed Mark’s damp hair out of his eyes.

Mark gave him a sheepish look. “I planned to go out with you tonight, make you happy, and finally get up the balls to tell you I love you.”

Seth buried his face in Mark’s neck and whispered, “Yes. I love you too.”

Best Valentine ever.

Breathing Snow is up for best athlete story on the Goodreads M/M group site

You can vote here. And find the story (for free!) here.

 

Dog run

Jonas thought he was in a stable relationship – maybe not passionate or romantic – but a working partnership, in all senses of the phrase. Turns out he’s been fooling himself. It’s time to move on. He lands at a small town veterinary practice, not exactly the high powered research center he’s used to, but more like what he dreamed of as a boy.

Could be a place where dreams come true and love is always possible.

And on a side note, the third dog in Nobody’s Home – my new story (out now!) is a little thing named Squirrel.

Photo by Identity Photogr@phy on flickr

Dog tired

My new story, Nobody’s Home, comes out from Amber Allure on 12/8. In it, Nick Alsteen, an up-and-coming New York artist unexpectedly inherits a load of chaos from his estranged father, including a filthy old run-down house, a length of the rope with which his father hung himself and a very sick bull dog. It’s a hell of a way to start a romance.

Photo by Chris (mybulldog) on flicker creative commons

Another day, another dog

I’m posting a dog photo every day until my new story, Nobody’s Home releases on Sunday. Why? Because dogs are important to the story. Gunner, a shelter dog, rescued at the beginning of the book by one of my main characters, was modeled after Santos (below) a Saint Bernard/German Shepard mix who found his way to the Catkins Animal Shelter in Park Falls, WI. He has a lonely/hungry-for-love look that seems just right for this story of two men finding their way from misery to joy.

Photo of Santos courtesy of Catkins Animal Shelter

 

Dog days

I’m posting pictures of dogs every day until Nobody Home releases on Sunday (check it out at Amber Allure).

In honor of the last day of Hanukkah, here’s a picture of a chihuahua I took while visiting the little coastal village south of Puerto Vallarta  that served as the inspiration for my Hanukkah story, Sacred Hearts. It wasn’t a cold day there, but I guess for him it was.

Guys and Dogs

My new book – Nobody’s Home – comes out from Amber Allure on 12/8. It’s the story of… well, here’s the blurb:

You can’t go home again—Nick’s motto for the past twenty years. He was a teenager when he and his mom left his mentally ill and abusive father back in a small town in the northwoods of Wisconsin. Nick’s made a life for himself as an artist in New York with a new show scheduled in nine months. He should be in a painting frenzy but so far he’s hanging empty canvas. Then comes the call—his estranged father has killed himself. Nick flies home to Lacland, a house crumbling from years of neglect and one very fat bulldog.

Jonas doesn’t love his job as a research lab veterinarian, although he enjoys volunteering on his boyfriend’s canine behavioral studies. But when he discovers his so called life partner is messing around, Jonas leaps at a job offer in a small town miles away.

Despite the grief swirling around Nick and Jonas, their first meeting is electric. But Nick’s only in town for a short time and Jonas is still stinging from the betrayal. They try to keep their distance, but that’s easier said than done. Especially in a small town where misery and hope share the same address.

And there are dogs.

To celebrate the release, I’ll be posting dog pictures here every day until the release. Beginning with my little guy (and yes, he’s wearing a coat – it’s cold up here)

Any dog lovers out there?

Nobody’s Home coming soon from Amber Allure

The story is due out 12/6 – right after Hanukkah (not that there’s anything even remotely related to Hanukkah in the story, it’s just that right now I’m thinking about Thanksgivukkah, which I’m really not ready for). Anyway….

Didn’t Trace Edward Zaber make a beautiful cover for Nobody’s Home?

 

I think it’s just stunning.

Dreaming about a beach romance

I just got back from a lovely vacation in Alicante, Spain – right there on the Mediterranean. Hot and glorious, it was me and a whole bunch of other pasty-white vacationers getting sun burned and floating around in the bouncy, clear blue water. Great setting, now all I need is the story.

There’s a tragic romance attached to the castle at Alicante. It sits a huffing, puffingly long walk up from the beach and the story goes that a princess and her lover plunged to their deaths when her father wouldn’t let them marry. I promise there won’t be any of that throwing oneself off a cliff in whatever story I find to set here. You know me, I’m all about the HEA.

Here’s a view from the castle at sunset

Next up

Summer seems to be ending here in the northwoods of the Midwest. There’s a nip in the air and we made it through another Yom Kippur. It’s time to think about the future.

My next book, Nobody’s Home, is scheduled out from Amber Allure at the beginning of December. I don’t want to talk too much about the story yet, but it involves two men at cross-roads in their lives, each working through grief in their own way. Oh, and there are dogs. Because we all need a friend when things get rough.

In the meantime – a happy, healthy, sweet new year to everyone.