Azra Tabassum's Blog, page 217

"You are going to break your promise. I understand. And I hold my hands over the ears of my heart, so..."

“You are going to break your promise. I understand. And I hold my hands over the ears of my heart, so that I will not hate you.”

- Catherynne M. Valente 

"God probably made you and said ‘Yes. She’s what I meant to do.’"

“God probably made you and said ‘Yes. She’s what I meant to do.’”

- Azra T., 5000letters 

when he has me quivering in his hands, i forget for that moment that we're not together anymore, that we won't ever be together again. we keep trying to be friends, but it always ends up like this.

it is fucking impossible to be friends with someone you can’t help but touch. it’s downright torturous, eats you up. 

no one ever ever go through Caitlyn’s quote tag unless you want to cry yourself into a shaky...

no one ever ever go through Caitlyn’s quote tag unless you want to cry yourself into a shaky undefinable mess, she just told me to go look at it and the first thing i saw was this “every time she tries to leave, the boy stops her, begging like a fool. And so she always returns, no matter how often she leaves or how far she goes, appearing soundlessly behind him and covering his eyes with her hands, spoiling for him anyone who could ever come after her.” and now I’m trembling 

"I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I was afraid. I am not worthy of you. But I still love..."

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I was afraid. I am not worthy of you. But I still love you, I think.

Don’t try and find me again, you would be lonely for music. I want you to be happy. I want you to marry again. I’m going to write out instructions for your next wife.

To my husband’s next wife: Be gentle. Be sure you comb his hair when it’s wet. Do not fail to notice that his face flushes pink like a bride’s when you kiss him. Give him lots to eat. He forgets to eat and he gets cranky.

When he is sad, kiss his forehead and I will thank you. For he is a young prince and his robes are too heavy on him. His crown falls down around his ears.

I’ll give this letter to a worm. I hope he finds you.

Love.

”

- from “Eurydice” by Sarah Ruhl 

i don’t like the concept of loving someone in spite of their flaws, like it’a chore but...

i don’t like the concept of loving someone in spite of their flaws, like it’a chore but you still do it because  you like the good things about them and you’d rather the bad things not be there. i think flaws make people interesting, they make relationships interesting, like, i want to piss you off, i want to be be safe in the knowledge that you’ll still love me if i make you mad, i want to be able to have arguments and get past them because that’s the sign of a healthy and good relationship, getting through it all. 

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"You see, I’ve written a million poems, hoping that somehow, maybe some way, you’ll jump out of the..."

“You see, I’ve written a million poems, hoping that somehow, maybe some way, you’ll jump out of the page and be closer to me because if you were here, right now, I would massage your back until your skin sings songs that your lips don’t even know the words to.”

- Rudy Francisco 

"There is a rebellion lighting fires underneath my skin, and I am too scared to tell my mother about..."

“

There is a rebellion lighting fires underneath my skin, and I am too scared to tell my mother about it. I am dragging my old self out of dirty corners and brushing her down. I am telling her to put her chin up and her armour on. I am saying ‘you will fight for what you believe in even if you have gone your whole life thinking that the fight is wrong.’ It is not wrong, or ugly, it is sacred. There is more to me than what I have been told. There is more to me than anyone will ever know. Not my unholy wants or the voice in my head that is telling me that I shouldn’t. I know that voice. It sounds like my mother’s and it sounds like mine except hers is cracking down the middle and she is saying ‘you have let me down’ and mine is saying ‘if you don’t keep going, your back will break.’ They are at war and they are loving each other. At this moment, I am not sure how both can exist at the same time.

But I will remember here and now, that I am more spine than i am anything else. I am more heart and fury and fire. I am the 20 years of learning to love myself and the other 20 that it will take to convince me that this love is worth more than can be given to me by any man. Give me your new streets, give me your rocketing ideas, give me the gunpowder so I can put it under my tongue and let the words say it all. Not centuries of tradition, not godliness or cleanliness or docility. I will carry my fight with me. I will keep it in a pouch under my heart and when she says ‘what has become of you?’ I will undo myself gently, lay it all at her feet and tell her ‘today, I am more myself than I have ever been’, I will tell her ‘thank you, thank you, I love you.’

”

- Azra.T ‘Gunpowder Tongue’

His hand quakes when he touches me. Is it possible to plant an earthquake in someone?

It’s possible that you can slide into someone’s skin easy and that’s maybe what loving you feels like. Like tectonic plates rubbing against each other and causing disturbances, because I guess that you’re in him too and the you in him and the you in you are moving together.