Annie Cardi's Blog, page 15

Miles, Pages, and Imposter Syndrome: Owning What You Do

This year, I’m training for my first marathon. I’ve talked here about what running means to me, and what the marathon and the Boston Marathon in particular means to me, but running an actual marathon always felt more like a bucket list item than an actual achievable goal. But I figured that if I was ever going to do it, I needed to try sooner rather than later, so over the last several weeks, I’ve been fitting weekday runs into my schedule and adding long runs to my weekends.

The other day, a coworker asked about my weekend, and I mentioned going for a long run and my training. She said, “No way! I didn’t know you were a runner.”

“Eeehh…” I said, and mentioned that I was really slow and still training and made all kinds of excuses for why I wasn’t like a ‘real runner.’

This weekend, I hit my longest ever distance of over 14.5 miles. What distance will it take for me to call myself a runner?

I get the same way about writing. If someone asks what I do, a lot of times I mention my day job first. Most of the time I follow up with, “…and I write YA novels,” but not always. Inside, I make a lot of excuses for why I can’t tell people I’m a writer: I don’t support myself entirely from writing, I only have one book out so far, I don’t always write every day, I don’t have a magical unicorn who helps me through the revision process, etc. etc. etc.

It can be hard to claim your identity as a writer. It means that you’re dedicating your time and energy to something–something that might not pan out the way you hope it will. And unlike a lot of other careers, there’s no way to know when you’ve ‘made it’ as a writer. Writers don’t have a test to pass or a certification to get in order to be a writer–which is great, because it means that stories can come from anyone and anywhere, but it can also be hard, because how do you know when you’ve really made it? And what if someone catches you calling yourself a writer? What if they find out that you’re really just trying to hold it all together?

The thing is: there is no point at which you know for sure you’re a writer. So many of us feel imposter syndrome, like someone is going to ‘catch us’ calling ourselves artists and call us frauds instead. Hell, even Meryl Streep has said: “You think ‘why would anyone want to see me again in a movie? I don’t know how to act anyway, so why am I doing this?'” Meryl Streep, guys.

There’s no number of miles you can log, no amount of words you can write, that will tell you if you’re a runner or a writer. You’re a runner because you run and you’re a writer because you write.

You can spend your whole life making excuses for why you’re not a ‘real’ writer or runner or whatever you’re putting your time and energy into, but when it comes down to it, you’ve got to claim your identity for yourself. No one can tell you how many hours you have to put in or how many books you have to write or how many awards you have to win to really ‘make it’ as whatever it is you want to be.

So I’m going to put the time and effort in, as a writer and as a runner. And when people ask what I do, I’ll tell them.

Friday Fifteen

Happy Friday, guys! I’ve had a good dose of creative connectivity this week, and I’m looking forward to even more creative time with my lovely crit group members over the weekend. In the meantime, here’s a look at what I’ve been reading and writing in fifteen words or fewer:

Reading: Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert

Encouraging, open, and conversational book about living as an artist. Definitely what I needed.

Writing: “You can’t sleep through my cross-country playlist,” TJ said. “It’s rhythmically impossible.”

Hoping to finish up with this pass of revision over the weekend; psyched to dive into something new, but I’m going to miss these characters (for the time being, at least).

Young Readers for a Better World

A fantastic TED talk by Linda Sue Park about how children’s books make kids better human beings:

I love hearing about real kids who are connecting with their greater world and challenging injustice because of books. Major kudos to authors like Park and educators and librarians who are helping young readers practice empathy.

Quote of the Day

“…have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.”–Rainer Maria Rilke, from Letters to a Young Poet

Friday Fifteen

Happy Friday, everyone! The east coast is getting some major snow this weekend (stay safe, Southern and Mid-Atlantic friends!), which means it’s a good time to stay inside and cozy up with a book. Here’s a look at what I’ve been reading and writing this week, in fifteen words or fewer:

Reading: Out of Darkness by Ashley Hope Pérez

This book wrecked me in the best way possible. Devastating story, brilliant writing.

Writing: “And in the stage wings, I saw Colby Finch, smiling like he felt it, too.”

Revision rolls along!

Links Galore

A few of good links for today:

The amazing Christa Desir on Other Broken Things, advice for writers, and books that don’t work.
Making a living as a writer is so rare.
Not so rare? Getting stabbed in Shakespeare.
Get these awesome and diverse 2016 debut authors on your pre-order list.
Great interview with Gene Luen Yang, our new National Ambassador for Young People’s Literature.
The hard truths about breaking into/staying in publishing.
Creative epiphanies from successful people.
Loved Conviction by Kelly Loy Gilbert.
90% of what I want to do on vacation is read.
Awesome list of feminist heroes in (largely children’s/YA) fiction.
As always, libraries are so, so necessary.

Friday Fifteen

Happy Friday, guys! I tackled a lot of revision today and hoping to power through some more this weekend. So let’s kick things off with a look at what I’ve been reading and writing in fifteen words or fewer.

Reading: Conviction by Kelly Loy Gilbert

Powerful book about family, sports, abuse, religion, survival and more. So good.

Writing: “…if I can find a college that offers foot-mouth-contortion as a major, I’ll be set.”

As tough as revision can be sometimes, I’m glad to be back with these guys.

In Case Emma Watson’s Looking for Suggestions for Her Feminist Book Club

Emma Watson, aka Hermione Granger, aka magical bookworm, is starting her own feminist book club. She’s starting off with Gloria Steinem’s My Life on the Road, but it got me thinking about what books I’d include in a feminist book club.

For powerful and thoughtful YA novels about girls and family and their place in the world:

Yaqui Delgado Wants to Kick Your Ass by Meg Medina
The Miseducation of Cameron Post by Emily M. Danforth
Gabi, a Girl in Pieces by Isabel Quintero
Written in the Stars by Aisha Saeed
Dairy Queen by Catherine Gilbert Murdock
Story of a Girl by Sara Zarr

For YA novels about girls fighting back in many different ways:

The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks by E. Lockhart
Rites of Passage by Joy N. Hensley
Dumplin’ by Julie Murphy
All the Rage by Courtney Summers
Far From You by Tess Sharpe
Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson

YA feminism isn’t limited to the real world:

The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater
The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman
The Fire Wish by Amber Lough
Beware the Wild by Natalie C. Parker
Alanna: The First Adventure by Tamora Pierce
Seraphina by Rachel Hartman

And graphic novels are perfect for a feminist book club:

Bitch Planet, Vol 1: Extraordinary Machine by Kelly Sue DeConnick, Valentine De Landro, Taki Soma, Robert Wilson
This One Summer by Mariko Tamaki, Jillian Tamaki
Lumberjanes #1 by Noelle Stevenson, Grace Ellis, Brooke A. Allen

And some of your favorite elementary/middle school reads are perfect for feminist book club:

A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle
Harriet the Spy by Louise Fitzhugh
Matilda by Roald Dahl
Howl’s Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones
Catherine, Called Birdy by Karen Cushman
From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler by E.L. Konigsburg

This is obviously not a complete list, because there are so many awesome books featuring compelling female characters and dealing with feminism and what it means to be a woman.

Did I leave out a favorite? Shout out in the comments.

ARCs, Feminism, Thin Mints, and Librarian Friends: a Weekend at ALA Midwinter

This weekend I got to go to ALA Midwinter–aka where librarians, educators, authors, publishers, bloggers, readers, and general fans of books and media come to learn and engage and share Girl Scout cookies. (Seriously, bringing Girl Scout cookies to a conference is a way to ensure people love you.) I’d never been to an ALA event before, and I only got an exhibit hall pass, but it was such a fantastic weekend. Some highlights:

Meeting librarian and writer and blogger friends from the Internet in real life–you get to hug them in real life!–and seeing lovely librarian and writer friends from the Boston area.
Seeing adorable baby pictures of aforementioned friends. (Or adorable pictures of their babies or their nieces/nephews.)
Having writer friends in from out of town meant an awesome panel at Brookline Booksmith, one of my favorite places to both meet readers and buy books. Awesome questions, thoughtful/hilarious discussion, fantastic audience.
Saying hi and the Candlewick booth and snagging an ARC of  A Tyranny of Petticoats: 15 Stories of Belles, Bank Robbers & Other Badass Girls .
Listening to thoughtful discussions at the We Need Diverse Books panel and the Class of 2K16 Debuts panel.
Seeing ARCs for friends books and getting excited about all the future readers who will love these books.
Sharing Thin Mints with friends old and new.
Talking about reading, writing, publishing, teen readers, feminism, graphic novels and more with people who get it.

This is the kind of weekend that reminds me why I love being part of the book community. People are so enthusiastic and smart and talented and kind and thoughtful and funny. They’re pushing the boundaries in all sorts of fields and making a difference for readers everywhere. I cheered along with the webcast of the ALA Youth Media Awards this morning, and was so proud to be part of this larger community.

Thanks to all who helped make this such a fun and inspiring weekend. Here’s to another awesome year of our bookish community!

Friday Fifteen

Happy Friday, everyone! I’m extra excited for this Friday, because it’s the start of ALA weekend here in Boston, which means I get to meet some of my favorite librarians and bloggers and writers in person. Book lovers unite!

In case you’re in town for the conference or a YA-loving local, don’t forget to come to tonight’s Real Teen Lives YA panel at Brookline Booksmith (7pm EST)! In the meantime, let’s kick off the weekend with a look at what I’ve been reading and writing in fifteen words or fewer.

Reading: Bitch Planet, Vol 1: Extraordinary Machine (Bitch Planet #1-5) by Kelly Sue DeConnick, Valentine De Landro, Taki Soma, Robert Wilson

Started off the year with some feminist sci-fi graphic novel goodness.

Writing: “I wonder if Ms. Simpson is somewhere now, walking with the living and reciting poetry.”

My latest short story (about poetry and the zombie apocalypse) is up at the Hanging Garden.