Dave Anderson's Blog, page 4
March 6, 2018
A Short Story of Great Courage in 500 Words
I’m fed up! We need someone to talk about good examples of character in action. The press covers the lack of character in politics, sports, and academia like sharks when blood is in the water. They rarely cover stories like Yasutera Yamada. Below is his short story of great Courage in just 500 words.
What we read affects how we speak and the choices we make. Perhaps by reading more stories describing the real Courage of an average person like Yasuteru Yamada, we will be inspired to exercise Courage ourselves.
A Short Story of Great Courage
Even after the worst of the Fukushima nuclear disaster had been contained, there was a massive amount of cleanup and containment remaining to be done. Yasuteru Yamada, a 72-year old engineer and cancer survivor, felt terrible as he watched young men being doused in radiation day after day as they tried to neutralize the damage. So he started the Skilled Veterans Corps, a volunteer force of elderly Japanese engineers and other helpers to take the place of the young. He gathered 400 volunteers almost immediately.
The elderly volunteers accepted that their work at the plant may take years off their lives and subject them, after a period of time, to severe illness. But, as Yamada said, “I am 72 and on average I probably have 13 to 15 years left to live. Even if I were exposed to radiation, cancer could take 20 or 30 years or longer to develop. Therefore us older ones have less chance of getting cancer.” (adapted from the Blog series Mental Floss)
Andersons’ 12 Word or less Definitions
Courage: Acting despite perceived or actual risk.
Humility: Believing and acting like “It’s not about me.”
Selflessness: Putting the needs of other before my own needs, desires, and convenience.
How We Develop Character
Yasutera Yamada displayed three of the Habits of Character that we must develop to become Leaders of Character.
Our character starts with our thoughts.
Our thoughts shape our words.
Our words influence our actions.
Our actions, repeated over time, become our habits.
Habits form our character.
The Bottom Line:
Whatinformation do we flood our brains with on a daily basis? Do we use stories about people like Yasutera Yamada to shape our thinking? Or do we let whatever pops up in the press’s social media feeds do that for us?
There are stories about Leaders of Character out there if we just look for them. Once we find them, we should share them. That is what I am doing.
I’m fed up with hearing about the negative examples of character in politics, sports, and academia. For the next several weeks I am going to post a new true story, in 500 words or less, that will hopefully give us all something to positively influence our character. Please share them.
Question:
What short stories of great Courage can you share?
You can purchase Dave’s best seller Becoming a Leader of Character through Amazon here: bit.ly/LOCBook
Or get a personalized signed copy here: Signed Copy
The post A Short Story of Great Courage in 500 Words appeared first on Dave Anderson.
February 27, 2018
Quiet Integrity is Not Enough
Somebody knew what was going on. USA Gymnastics, Arizona basketball, Harvey Weinstein and the list keeps getting longer. These are sad examples of immoral and/or unethical people doing despicable things. Those people are finally being exposed. But, somebody knew what was going on before these people were exposed to the public eye. The lesson for all of us: Quiet Integrity is not enough. 
It is very easy to read these stories in the news and on social media and shake our heads in disgust. We wonder how these people could have behaved so poorly for so long. Yet, we should all be careful.
Quiet Integrity? – Look in The Mirror
Looking in the mirror, we should ask ourselves if we have been quiet while others did the wrong thing. We tend to give ourselves the benefit of the doubt because the other person committed the deed. But if we knew about it, or even suspected something, we shouldn’t let ourselves off the hook.
It’s easy to see others doing something questionable and turn away without a word. We rationalize it away and say, “At least I am not involved.” But if we know, or suspect something is wrong, we are involved.
Is this a high standard for Integrity? Absolutely. But, we should have high standards when it comes to Integrity. We should not hold ourselves up as a person of Integrity if we waffle at these moments of testing.
I say this a man who has failed in this area in my past. I say it as someone who is consistently challenged to have the Courage to speak up even when I am not directly involved or affected by the questionable deeds of others.
The Bottom Line:
Honestly, if we all stood up and spoke up as soon as we suspected something, there would still be people who choose the immoral or unethical path. But, that path would be a short deadend street instead of a destructive long and winding road. We are reresponsible for causing the preventable pain to unknowing people in the future.
With that high a standard for Integrity, there would not have been 200 plus young women sexually abused by the USA Gymnastics team physician. Nor would there have been the growing list of female actors coming from the shadows to accuse Harvey Weinstein of his abusive behavior.
Somebody knew what was going on, and their quiet Integrity caused it to continue.
Let’s end that pattern of quiet and inadequate Integrity. Let’s all say something!
Question:
What other cases are there where the quiet Integrity of some, allowed bad things to happen to others?
You can purchase Dave’s best seller Becoming a Leader of Character through Amazon here: bit.ly/LOCBook
Or get a personalized signed copy here: Signed Copy
The post Quiet Integrity is Not Enough appeared first on Dave Anderson.
February 20, 2018
Sometimes Leadership Sucks
“This is one of those times when leadership sucks.” It was all I could really say to this young leader I was recently coaching. She knew what she had to do, and it was not going to be easy or comfortable.
Hard decisions are part of being a leader. Whether we are a CEO, a middle manager, or a front line employee – Whether we are a coach, a team captain, or an underclassman – Whether we are a husband, a mother, or a child. When it is time to step up and lead, no matter our title, sometimes leadership sucks.
But if I consider myself a Leader of Character, I must be willing to make those tough decisions even if I do not like making them.
10 Times Leadership Sucks
When you fire someone you liked and believed in, but they didn’t perform well.
When you fire a top performer because of their bad attitude and negative influence on your team.
When you tell your boss about something your team screwed up.
When you confront a teammate about her immature behavior.
When you work hard on the parts of your job that you hate doing.
When you are a coach and bench your best player before the big game because of his off the field behaviors.
When you tell the truth to your supervisor, while everyone else has decided to lie.
When you stay late at work to help a teammate finish her work.
When you tell a friend what he needs to hear instead of what he wants to hear.
When you confront your boss about her treatment of other employees.
The Choices Leaders Make
In each situation above, the leader has three choices. The leader has the choice to do nothing, choose the comfortable thing, or choose to do the right thing. Doing the right thing is the choice a Leader of Character consistently makes. But, it does not mean that doing the right thing is always enjoyable.
In fact, choosing to do the right thing will often come at a personal cost. The choice could make your life harder. The choice could put you on an island alone with your values. The choice could make other people angry, and they may not understand.
But, a Leader of Character does not make choices based on whether others will like the decision. They understand that when it comes to choosing between right and wrong, they will likely have to choose something that will make other people unhappy.
The Bottom Line:
Anytime I thought leadership was getting easy, the Good Lord would put something in front of me that reminded me that leadership sucks sometimes. This is how leaders grow from being a common leader to becoming a Leader of Character. They choose to do the things they know are going to suck, simply because it is the right thing to do.
Being a Leader of Character takes Courage. Being a Leader of Character takes Humility. Being a Leader of Character takes Selflessness. If as a leader we choose to be courageous, humble and selfless, there will be some times that being a leader sucks.
Leadership is not for the faint of heart. The rewards can often come years later when a former employee or player sends you an email or calls and thanks you for being the uncommon leader who was willing to do the hard things, because they were the right thing to do.
Choosing the path of least resistance usually ends up turning into the highway to hypocrisy. The easy choice will lead us to become something we never intended to be. The hard choice may suck in the short term, but the rewards are well worth the discomfort.
Question:
What aspects of leadership do you avoid because they may suck?
You can purchase the best seller Becoming a Leader of Character through Amazon here: bit.ly/LOCBook
Or get a personalized signed copy here: Signed Copy
The post Sometimes Leadership Sucks appeared first on Dave Anderson.
February 13, 2018
Leaders Keep Commitments. Period.
“(Commitment is) doing what you said you were going to do, long after the mood you were in when you said you were going to do it has passed.”
James Brown, Venture Capital Fund Founder
We all make commitments to others. Sometimes we wish we hadn’t made those commitments. It happens to me all the time. I’ll set an appointment with a potential client. I’ll say “yes” to helping someone in their yard. I’ll tell my family I will take a day off from work. But, then something happens.
The inconvenience of that commitment tempts me to back off. Another and more lucrative client wants to meet with me at the same time. I have a chance to do something fun instead of helping someone else clean up their yard. I am swamped at work on the day I promised to take off.
My willingness to keep my commitments to others is a direct reflection of my character. My Courage, Integrity, Selflessness, and Duty are all challenged when I am tempted to break a commitment I made to someone else.
But if I want to be a Leader of Character, I have to DO what I want to BE! In other words, I have to practice character in every circumstance, no matter how I feel about it at the moment.
Commitments Test My Character
It takes Courage, Integrity, and Selfless to do my Duty and see a commitment as a moral obligation to another person.
It takes Courage when I delay an appointment with a high potential client to fulfill a previous commitment.
It takes Integrity when I keep my word to others no matter the circumstances.
It takes Selflessness when I put my own needs, desires and convenience on the back burner and put others first.
Each time I make the choice to back away from a prior commitment, I damage my character. Each time I make a choice it makes it easier to make that same choice again. Each of these seemingly small choices leads me to become someone who is unreliable and cannot be trust by others.
My choices are either leading me closer to being a Leader of Character or further away.
Courage, Integrity, and Selflessness are required for us to do our Duty. My father and I define Duty as:
Taking action based on both our assigned tasks and moral obligations.
We provide straightforward definitions like this for Courage, Humility, Integrity, Selflessness, Duty and Positivity in our book Becoming a Leader of Character – Six Habits that Make or Break a Leader at Work and at Home.
The Bottom Line:
When a Leader of Character makes a commitment, it becomes a moral obligation to fulfill that commitment. My feelings, my convenience, and my schedule do not provide me with wiggle room because a Leader of Character keeps his/her commitments. Period.
Leaders of Character keep their commitments because it is the right thing to do.
James Brown (JB) is a West Point graduate, has an MBA from Harvard and a JD from New York University School of Law. He is unique in the venture capital world because he refuses to invest in a company that does not have a Leader of Character in charge.
JB’s definition of commitment is a brilliantly simple truth about how so many of us build or destroy our character.
Question:
What damage does breaking a commitment do to our relationships?
You can purchase the book Becoming a Leader of Character through Amazon here: bit.ly/LOCBook
Or get a personalized signed copy here: Signed Copy
The post Leaders Keep Commitments. Period. appeared first on Dave Anderson.
February 6, 2018
Testing Your Character
There is really only one person on earth who truly knows your character – YOU. All of us have strengths and weaknesses in our character. But do we stop and really look at ourselves in the mirror?
We have developed the My Mirror Character Assessment for just that purpose. You will get a snapshot of your character in as little as five minutes and it is FREE!
Take it now: www.MYCHARACTERTEST.com
The catch is – you have to be honest with yourself when you answer the 18 questions that make up the assessment. No one else is going to see the results. We are not storing them anywhere.
You will get immediate feedback and also an email with your results for your own records.
People don’t follow you because of what you can do. They follow you because of WHO YOU ARE!
Who you are is your character. There are Six Habits of Character of Character that we all can exercise to become that leader we all can be.
Courage
Humility
Integrity
Selflessness
Duty
Positivity
How strong are you in these areas? Find out here:
Our goal is to help grow leaders who believe character is #1 and change businesses, change families and change our culture as a result!
We we rolled out the My Mirror Character Assessment prior to the launch of our new book Becoming a Leader of Character – Six Habits that Make or Break a Leader at Work and at Home. That book has now hit the Amazon Best-Seller list multiple times over the last 18 months.
Take the My Mirror Character Assessment now! It may expose something about your character that needs work. You won’t know for sure until you invest the 5 minutes required to answer the questions and get instant feedback.
It’s Free! www.MYCHARACTERTEST.com
If you like the My Mirror Character Assessment, there are buttons at the bottom of the assessment for you to share it with people on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin and email. Please help us spread the word about this unique assessment.
My goal is to be a Character Evangelist that leads a revival of character in our culture. Join me!
You can purchase the book Becoming a Leader of Character through Amazon here: bit.ly/LOCBook
Or get a personalized signed copy here: Signed Copy
The post Testing Your Character appeared first on Dave Anderson.
January 31, 2018
Leading in Your Twenties – I’m Not a Leader…YET!
“But, I’m not a leader.” When someone makes that statement, I always add “YET!” There is a problem with that statement. The person making that statement assumes leadership is about a title. If you have said or thought this, it is time to stop and reassess your beliefs.
Renowned author and leadership guru, John Maxwell defines leadership as influence. It’s that simple.
If he is right then you are a leader whether you have a title or not. Everyone has influence. Your words and your actions have influence on other people whether you work in a comfortable executive office, or you do manual labor on a loading dock.
What does this mean for the people who are in the early part of their careers? It means you have the opportunity to lead people every day because everyday you have influence on somebody.
The question is “Is it good influence or bad influence?”
Do You Have Positive or Negative Influence on Others?
Positive or Negative. What is your influence?
When you speak to your peers after a team meeting, where do you lead them?
When you meet a stranger at the grocery store, where do you lead them?
When you talk to a parent or sibling, where do you lead them?
When you speak to a spouse or a loved one, where do you lead them?
Each situation is an opportunity to be a leader and none of these take a title to accomplish.
How You Lead With Character and without a Title
As we have discussed in this Leading in Your Twenties Series, there is a difference between a person without character but with a title, and a Leader of Character. A leader without character, may wield influence and get people to comply with his wishes. But a Leader of Character has committed followers.
As a Leader of Character you have developed and continue to develop your character through exercise. You have exercised character before you have a leadership title so that your character is ready for the tests of leadership. The Habits of Character you must exercise are: (links)
Courage
Humility
Integrity
Selflessness
Duty
Positivity
How you lead without a title, influences how you lead once you get that title. The best way to prepare for that title is to begin exercising character now.
The Good News
Somebody reading this is probably thinking, “Sure Dave. But you don’t know the person I have been, or how I have behaved.” You may have read the other blogs about the Six Habits of Character and felt discouraged by your own actions. That’s okay! Because I have good news!
You can begin a new habit today.
If you have been in the habit of staying quiet in difficult situations or lying to avoid discomfort, you can make a new choice today!
If you have been in the habit of bragging about yourself or refusing to listen to the opinions of others, you can make a new choice today!
If you are in the habit of making excuses or complaining about every decision your leader makes, you can make a new choice today!
That is how all habits are formed, one choice at a time. Each time you choose to exercise Courage, Humility, Integrity, Selflessness, Duty, or Positivity, it makes it easier to make that same choice again.
The more you choose to exercise a particular aspect of your character, the stronger that aspect becomes. So if you have been exercising the negative aspects of your character – start making new choices today!
The Bottom Line:
Being a Leader of Character does not take an MBA or a Phd. Our culture does not need more leaders with MBA’s or doctorates. What our culture needs is more Leaders of Character!
It doesn’t take a title to lead. You have influence. The difference between a person of positive influence and negative influence is character. What type of character have you been building through your choices?
Test your character with this free and private assessment:
The goal of this series has been to speak to the up and coming leaders who will be taking over soon. If you are in your twenties, this is directed at you.
You have to prepare yourself to lead! It’s up to you!
The other goal has been to wake up the people my age who grumble about these up and coming leaders and wonder if they are ready. If you are in that group, this is directed at you.
Quit complaining and get to work helping them get ready! It’s up to you!
I promise to do my part. I am begining to work on a new book. But, I need help. I need insights from people in their 20s to give me your perspective. I need help to put together something that will change things for future generations in their 20s.
I want to provide resources that will fill the void Baby Boomers, Gen Xers, and Millenials have all endured. I’d appreciate your help!
If you are interested in helping, please email me at: info@alslead.com.
Question:
What do I need to address in this future book to focused on leading in your twenties?
As you read these blogs, please share them with other people who want ideas on how to lead now and how to develop the Twenty-Something Leaders of our future.
You can purchase the book Becoming a Leader of Character through Amazon here: bit.ly/LOCBook
Or get a personalized signed copy here: Signed Copy
The post Leading in Your Twenties – I’m Not a Leader…YET! appeared first on Dave Anderson.
January 23, 2018
Leading in Your Twenties – How to Exercise Positivity
“Your attitude is a choice. Make a different choice!” My dad, The General, always had a way with words. No matter how big my pity party was, he could cut right through it with that statement. Telling me I could change my attitude was teaching me to exercise Positivity.
Leaders lift others up. They don’t drag them down. You may not be a leader at work – yet! But, your attitude determines your ability to influence people around you.
If you are negative, you will drag others into your sphere of doubt, worry, and complaining. You will become Eeyore to those around you. Who wants to spend time with Eeyore? Answer: Only other Eeyores.
If you choose to exercise Positivity, you become that person who lifts others up and inspires them. Who do you think will be considered a leader by their peers and by upper management? I hope the answer is obvious. It isn’t Eeyore!
Your Circumstances May Stink
There is no doubt that life throws obstacles in our way. Bosses, peers, and family can all create problems. Regulations, weather, and traffic can mess up your day or your week. But everybody has to deal with these issues. So why, in the midst of those circumstances, are some people able to smile and inspire, while some grumble and drag others down?
Circumstances don’t determine your attitude – you do!
The people who have a glass half-full attitude, understand that the attitude they choose when they face an obstacle, is a window into their character. And, they believe they are in charge of their character not the outside world.
Three Examples to Emulate:
The cancer patient that cheers you up about him/her having cancer.
The amputee veteran who overcomes his/her limitations and laughs about it.
The “Gold Star Mom” who volunteers to counsel other families in similar situations.
Their circumstances are out of their control. Their attitudes are not. These are the people who truly demonstate that “Your attitude is a choice.”
How to Exercise Positivity in Your Life
Whatever attitude you walk through life with is a result of your choices. Positivity and negativity are both habits. Each time you make a choice, it makes it easier to make that same choice again. All of your Habits of Character are formed by your individual choices.
Just like a muscle, when you exercise Positivity, that part of your character becomes stronger. Here are some simple exercises you can do whether you are in school, at work, or dealing with friends or family.
Leave everyone you meet in a better place than when you found them.
Find a reason a new idea could work before shooting holes in it.
For one week, write down 3 things each day for which you are thankful.
Leave your bad mood in the car before walking into work.
Compliment one stranger a day.
Smile and don’t complain while you do the parts of your job you don’t like.
The Bottom Line:
Your attitude will either attract people or repel them. When you exercise Positivity, people see what type of leader you are and the leader you will become. They can determine that when you exercise negativity as well.
Your attitude is on display in your words, your actions, and even your body language. Whatever attitude you choose today, is going to impact the person you are tomorrow. If you want to be a Leader of Character and be someone people want to follow today, or when you are old and gray, choose to exercise Positivity daily.
Your attitude is a choice. Make a different choice from everyone else and you will become the Leader of Character people need and want to follow. Positivity is one of the best ways to lead and influence others when you are in your twenties.
Question:
What does a person with a negative attitude do to the effectiveness of a team?
This is the 11th in a series of blogs written directly to the Twenty-Somethings. This is about you and your future. This series is the beginning of a quest.
It is my quest is to help get you ready to lead today, tomorrow, and for decades to come. Here are links to the previous blogs:
Topic 1: Leading in Your Twenties – You’re Not Too Young to Lead
Topic 2: Leading in Your Twenties – Don’t Wait to be Told to Lead
Topic 3: Leading in Your Twenties – Prepare Yourself – School Didn’t Do It
Topic 4: Leading in Your Twenties – You’ve Been Given Bad Advice
Topic 5: Leading in Your Twenties – How to Build Your Character
Topic 6: Leading in Your Twenties – How to Exercise Courage
Topic 7: Leading in Your Twenties – How to Exercise Humility
Topic 8: Leading in Your Twenties – How to Exercise Integrity
Topic 9: Leading in Your Twenties – How to Exercise Selflessness
Topic 10: Leading in Your Twenties – How to Exercise Duty
As you read these blogs, please share them with other people who want ideas on how to lead now and how to develop the Twenty-Something Leaders of our future.
You can purchase the book Becoming a Leader of Character through Amazon here: bit.ly/LOCBook
Or get a personalized signed copy here: Signed Copy
The post Leading in Your Twenties – How to Exercise Positivity appeared first on Dave Anderson.
January 16, 2018
Leading in Your Twenties – How to Exercise Duty
Reliable, Initiative, Proactive, Accountable, Low Maintenance, Easy to work with, a “Go to” person, a Leader. These are the words and phrases people will use to describe you if you make it a habit to exercise Duty.
This is a teammate everyone wants. This is a friend everyone wants. This is your company’s next generation of leader. The question is: “Is this person you?”
Unfortunately, when you don’t exercise Duty, it becomes a habit. Others will see you as being unreliable. They will find ways to exclude you from groups or projects. At best, they will include you begrudgingly.
That is not a person people will be getting in line to follow.
How to Exercise Duty
Doing your Duty is a habit. The young men and women who serve in the military or as first responders understand the concept of Duty. Unfortunately, the general public thinks of the word Duty as something on a job description or a task the boss has assigned. But, Duty goes beyond that.
My good friend, Colonel (R) Craig Flowers (@COLCraigFlowers) demonstrates this concept with a simple example. When you were in high school, your mom may ask you to “Take out the trash.” That is the assigned task. But, there is an implied task as well. The implied task is “Put a new bag in the empty can.”
You exercise Duty each time you go beyond an assigned task and complete the implied tasks as well. Nobody may verbalize those tasks to you. But, they are the things that need to be done whether someone directly tells you to do them or not. We call these moral obligations.
Andersons’ 12 Words (or less) Definition of Duty
Taking action based on your assigned tasks and your moral obligations.
The reasons people don’t exercise Duty are examples of cowardice, arrogance, hypocrisy, and selfishness. But few of people believe they are any of those things. But that is what we are doing when we avoid taking action on our moral obligations.
Duty and the Rest of Your Character
The Habits of Character we’ve discussed in this series never stand alone. They are like muscles. They work together to make us well rounded and prepared for the challenges of life. If you want to be a leader, a Leader of Character, you can not wait to begin exercising on the day the test comes.
If you exercise Duty consistenlty and frequently you are strengthening other parts of your character.
Courage: You exercise Courage and Duty when you proactively admit you will be late instead of just showing up late and hoping the other person doesn’t say anything. You do this because you believe that by saying “yes” to coffee, you implied you’d communicate with them if you were going to be late.
Humility: You exercise Humility and Duty when you admit you left the house late instead of blaming traffic. You do this because you believe it’s your moral obligation to consider that person’s time as important. Therefore, you own your bad choices and make no excuses.
Integrity: You exercise Integrity and Duty when you give 100% effort to the parts of your job you don’t like. You do this because you know by accepting 100% of your paycheck for the month, you implied that you would give 100% effort that month.
Selflessness: You exercise Selflessness and Duty when you participate in every group meeting even when it might be inconvenient. You do this because you understand that moral obligations are rarely convenient and avoiding them would be selfish.
Examples of Duty Exercises
Assigned Task
Moral Obligation
Being part of a group project.
Come to all project meetings unless sick or injured.
Accepting a job from an employer.
Do the parts of the job you dislike with maximum effort.
Meet a friend for coffee.
Let them know you will be late BEFORE you are already late.
The Bottom Line:
The examples above are not complicated. But so few people actually go beyond the assigned tasks. To exercise Duty, you must fulfill your moral obligations as well. When you fulfill your moral obligations you are also exercising the other Habits of Character.
You must begin to exercise Duty on a consistent basis so you are ready when the big challenges come. If you do, other will see you as someone who takes the initiative, is reliable, proactive, accountable, low maintenance, easy to work with, and a “go to” person.
When you exercise Duty, they will see you as a leader – a Leader of Character.
Question:
What other implied tasks or moral obligations do people regularly face?
This is the 10th in a series of blogs written directly to the Twenty-Somethings. This is about you and your future. This series is the beginning of a quest.
It is my quest is to help get you ready to lead today, tomorrow, and for decades to come. Here are links to the previous blogs:
Topic 1: Leading in Your Twenties – You’re Not Too Young to Lead
Topic 2: Leading in Your Twenties – Don’t Wait to be Told to Lead
Topic 3: Leading in Your Twenties – Prepare Yourself – School Didn’t Do It
Topic 4: Leading in Your Twenties – You’ve Been Given Bad Advice
Topic 5: Leading in Your Twenties – How to Build Your Character
Topic 6: Leading in Your Twenties – How to Exercise Courage
Topic 7: Leading in Your Twenties – How to Exercise Humility
Topic 8: Leading in Your Twenties – How to Exercise Integrity
Topic 9: Leading in Your Twenties – How to Exercise Selflessness
As you read these blogs, please share them with other people who want ideas on how to lead now and how to develop the Twenty-Something Leaders of our future.
You can purchase the book Becoming a Leader of Character through Amazon here: bit.ly/LOCBook
Or get a personalized signed copy here: Signed Copy
The post Leading in Your Twenties – How to Exercise Duty appeared first on Dave Anderson.
January 9, 2018
Leading in Your Twenties – How to Exercise Selflessness
On our best days, most people will look in the mirror and realize they did something selfish that day. Selfishness is part of our human nature. Beyond that, selfishness becomes more and more ingrained in our character as the years go on. Why? Because practice makes perfect!
Each time we choose to be selfish, it makes it easier to be selfish again. You may think of yourself as a selfless person, but do your choices show you to be something else? Do you:
Expect something in return after you help a friend?
Walk past a need because it would be inconvenient to stop?
Wait for others to volunteer for the tough jobs?
Ask yourself, “How will this help me?” before you decide on taking action?
Selfishness and Selflessness in Your Twenties
Who do you want to follow? Someone who only helps others when it’s convenient? Or someone who will exercise Selflessness despite his/her own needs, desires or convenience? It does not take a title for you to be a servant leader. All it takes is for you to serve the needs of others even when you would rather be doing something else.
Andersons’ 12 Word (or less) Definition of Selflessness
Putting the needs of others before my own needs, desires, or convenience.
Let’s face it. The opportunities to exercise Selflessness rarely present themselves when it is convenient. Your character is almost always tested at the most inconvenient times. The question then becomes, “What will you choose? Selfishness or Selflessness?”
I don’t believe selfishness is a generational issue as some people like to claim. We are dealing with a battle inside of everyone no matter what their age may be. It is a battle between our inherently selfish nature and the greater good of being selfless.
How do you win the battle? By making consistent, daily choices to be selfless. The opportunities to exercise Selflessness in big ways are advertised in your inbox or on your television everyday. You could run a 5K for charity or give money to wounded veterans periodically for the rest of your life and still be selfish.
Those grand gestures are nice and can help people. But they do not always have a lasting effect on your character because they lack frequency and consistency. You would never expect to get in shape if you only went to the gym once a month. The same is true when you decide to exercise Selflessness.
Exercise Selflessness – At School
Being selfless does not mean you have to give away a lot of money or even spend every weekend volunteering for a good cause. But the opportunities to exercise Selflessness occur everyday on campuses.
Clean up your roommate’s dinner dishes without complaining.
Help a professor straighten the room up after class ends.
Take class notes for someone who is home sick.
Volunteer to do the largest part of the project for your group.
Exercise Selflessness – At Work
Once you leave college, it can seem like everyone is just looking out for “Number One” at work. But you can be different. You can be a servant leader in simple ways that will build your character and set the example for others.
Give credit to others when the team does well.
Offer to help someone at work who is struggling at a task.
Volunteer to do something nobody else wants to do.
Take time to mentor “the new guy/girl”.
Exercise Selflessness – Day to Day
Everyday life gives us opportunities to exercise Selflessness. Each time we choose to put the needs of others before own needs, desires, and convenience, we are building a habit that will help us become the Leaders of Character people want to follow.
Park at the far end of the parking lot so others can have the best spots.
Help a single mom load her groceries in the car while she straps in her kids.
Give up your seat on the train/bus to someone else who may need it more.
Yield the right of way to another car that needs to pull out into traffic.
The Bottom Line:
Becoming a Leader of Character does not take a PhD or some extra certification. It takes an individual who realizes that the role of the leader is to serve others. Who do you want to follow? The person who always thinks of themself first or the selfless Leader of Character who is in the habit of serving others.
Preparing to lead is more about developing your character than anything else. That preparation is up to you. What are your choices preparing you for – selfishness or Selflessness? With every choice you make, you are exercising one or the other. Who you are – your character – is determined by your choices.
Question:
What other daily opportunities to serve others do you encounter?
This is the 9th in a series of blogs written directly to the Twenty-Somethings. This is about you and your future. This series is the beginning of a quest.
It is my quest is to help get you ready to lead today, tomorrow, and for decades to come. Here are links to the previous blogs:
Topic 1: Leading in Your Twenties – You’re Not Too Young to Lead
Topic 2: Leading in Your Twenties – Don’t Wait to be Told to Lead
Topic 3: Leading in Your Twenties – Prepare Yourself – School Didn’t Do It
Topic 4: Leading in Your Twenties – You’ve Been Given Bad Advice
Topic 5: Leading in Your Twenties – How to Build Your Character
Topic 6: Leading in Your Twenties – How to Exercise Courage
Topic 7: Leading in Your Twenties – How to Exercise Humility
Topic 8: Leading in Your Twenties – How to Exercise Integrity
As you read these blogs, please share them with other people who want ideas on how to lead now and how to develop the Twenty-Something Leaders of our future.
You can purchase the book Becoming a Leader of Character through Amazon here: bit.ly/LOCBook
Or get a personalized signed copy here: Signed Copy
The post Leading in Your Twenties – How to Exercise Selflessness appeared first on Dave Anderson.
January 2, 2018
Leading in Your Twenties – How to Exercise Integrity
The generation of leaders emerging now needs to be different. If you are in your twenties and are dissatisfied with the status quo, you can not inspire change unless you exercise Integrity. People will not follow you if you exercise situational Integrity. Unfortunately, situational Integrity is too prevelant among our leaders today.
The word Integrity comes from the root word – integer. Integer means whole or pure. That means that part time Integrity is not Integrity. If the only time you exercise Integrity is when there is no risk involved, that is not Integrity.
We discussed Courage as one of the Habits of Character you must develop earlier in the is series (Link). Courage is foundational because you can not be a person of Integrity without it. You must exercise Courage in order to do take action or speak up, even when it could hurt you personally.
Andersons’ Definition of Integrity
Doing what is good, right, and proper even at personal cost.
Three Steps to Exercise Integrity
Being a person of Integrity is hard when you know you must do the right thing “even at personal cost.” The right thing is rarely the easy thing to do. Whether you are in your 50s like me or your 20s like the audience this series is targeting, we all know that Integrity is hard. Yet that is why it is so inspiring!
Here are three steps to exercise Integrity:
Know: You must discern the difference between right and wrong. Deep inside, all of us know what we should do in the vast majority of circumstances. That voice in our head is louder for some people than for others. But, it is still there speaking to us.
Do: You must take action on what you’ve discerned – even at personal cost. That is where we can all fail. Do we have the Courage to do the right thing, even if we must sacrifice something to do it?
Say: You must speak out and say why you took action. Silent Integrity is lacking. The Courage to speak out is what inspires others to follow and begin to make change happen.
“Right is right, even if everyone is against it; wrong is wrong even if everyone is for it.”
– William Penn
Exercises In Integrity
Examples:
Admit when you have screwed something up instead of shifting blame.
Tell a person in authority about an unresolved problem within the team.
Challenge your friend’s behaviors when they are wrong.
Speak up when you are concerned about a decision at work.
What Could Go Wrong?
Many of you reading this may be thinking “Get real, Dave. Everyone around me is cutting corners, lying to cover their butts, or are too afraid to speak up and do what is right. If I did it, I would be the only one.”
You may be right. Parents and teachers have told us that honesty is always the best policy. They told us that people in authority (parents, teachers, bosses…) will be thankful and reward our honesty. But the truth is, that does not always happen.
Many times the person of Integrity will not see the tangible rewards when they exercise Integrity. There might even be ridicule or more severe consequences. At the least, there will be other people warning you against speaking up or taking action because THEY fear the consequences.
“All that is required for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.”
– Edmund Burke
Yes. You might be standing alone for awhile. But, the exercise of Integrity will strengthen your character, and prepare you to lead when the larger tests in life come.
The Bottom Line:
I am speaking to you twenty-somethings out there. We generations before you have often set a poor example. We have often chosen the path of least resistance or done nothing instead of choosing to exercise Integrity. That is why you need to make a change!
Integrity is not situational. Integrity is an everyday exercise that requires you to make a sacrifice. If you are looking to change things, you must (we all must) change who we are on the inside – our character. We must exercise Integrity in the small things so we are ready for the big tests to come.
Leading in your twenties is not easy because many of you have not climbed the leadership ladder – yet. Your time to have the title of leader is coming. Will you be ready?
You can begin to lead now by exercising Integrity. If you follow the Know – Do – Say steps above, your influence will grow and you will soon be the people others are excited to follow. That is when you can really make lasting change happen at work, in your personal lives, and in our culture.
Question:
What exercises in Integrity are the most difficult for you in today’s environment?
This is the 8th in a series of blogs written directly to the Twenty-Somethings. This is about you and your future. This series is the beginning of a quest.
It is my quest is to help get you ready to lead today, tomorrow, and for decades to come. Here are links to the previous blogs:
Topic 1: Leading in Your Twenties – You’re Not Too Young to Lead
Topic 2: Leading in Your Twenties – Don’t Wait to be Told to Lead
Topic 3: Leading in Your Twenties – Prepare Yourself – School Didn’t Do It
Topic 4: Leading in Your Twenties – You’ve Been Given Bad Advice
Topic 5: Leading in Your Twenties – How to Build Your Character
Topic 6: Leading in Your Twenties – How to Exercise Courage
Topic 7: Leading in Your Twenties – How to Exercise Humility
As you read these blogs, please share them with other people who want ideas on how to lead now and how to develop the Twenty-Something Leaders of our future.
You can purchase the book Becoming a Leader of Character through Amazon here: bit.ly/LOCBook
Or get a personalized signed copy here: Signed Copy
The post Leading in Your Twenties – How to Exercise Integrity appeared first on Dave Anderson.
