Tonya Ferguson's Blog, page 30

my stormy lessons

You Say You're Curious About Alzheimer's?



It's absolutely normal for us to be curious about that which we do not know.  We see commercials, documentaries, and movies about things we're curious about, but wonder if that's really the truth.  When I wrote my book "to remember love," I told the truth of MY experience with Grief, Loss, Sorrow, Caregiving, Death, Dying, and Alzheimer's.  I've had several people tell me they really didn't know that much about Alzheimer's, so I decided I would share a portion of my book with you to give you a glimpse into my first hand experience with Alzheimer's.  




Excerpt from "to remember love"




Above all else, in my Caregiving experience, I came to know that Alzheimer's is a very cruel disease.  It robs you of your memories, one by one, until there are none.  It does it slowly and steadily, without any ryhme or reason.  It's very methodical in the stripping away of your memories, and it doesn't stop until you are like a tree in the winter that's been stripped bare of its leaves.  You never know which memory will be the next one Alzheimer's chooses to take.  You can't pick or choose which memory you are willing to release to the disease, or at what time.  The disease calls all the shots.  You have no choice or say so in the matter at all.  I would say that's cruel, wouldn't you?



Our memories are so precious and personal to us.  Sometimes they're all we have left of something or someone that was wonderful from our past.  I feel like our memories identify us, just as individually and precisely, as our fingerprints do.  There are no two people who have the exact same fingerprints and no two people who have the exact same memories.  So, as Alzheimer's deliberately and systematically robs people of their memories, it also slowly robs them of who they were, who they are, and who they would have become.  It robs them of their individual identity.  It forces them to grieve the loss of themselves for years and years.  I would say that's cruel, wouldn't you?



Alzheimer's steals every memory from them that they've ever made in their entire life, and prevents them from every creating another new memory for the rest of their life.  I would say that's cruel, wouldn't you?



Alzheimer's forces them into a world of silent darkness, even with their eyes wide open.  They slip away further and further into a midnight abyss that they can never return from.  The sparkle in their eyes fades into a dull, gray blankness.  I would say that's cruel, wouldn't you?



Their bodies turn against them as the disease sucks their life right out of them.  Their muscles turn to jelly as they can no longer walk or stand, and their organs begin to slowly fail.  I would say that's cruel, wouldn't you?



Their once ample vocabulary is taken from them and transformed into grunts, sounds, and eventually empty silence.  I would say that's cruel wouldn't you?



I think the defiintion of Alzheimer's Disease should be listed in the dictionary like this: Alzheimer's Disease - CRUEL.



Until the next time we talk......Stand firm on Philippians 4:13.

Love, Hugs, & Prayers,

~tf

practical life lessons

Three Ways to Use The Word "Courage"




I was thinking about how driven I am to ENCOURAGE others.  It's something I don't even feel I have a choice in.  It truly is a "Gift" God has given me.  My first reflex or instinct when someone around me is being negative, is depressed, or is hurting, is for me to ENCOURAGE them.  It's not something I sit around contemplating, it just comes natural to me.  I always find myself countering their negativity, depression, or pain with encouragement.  I have a hard time understanding why it seems I am in the minority when it comes to encouraging others.  I listen to what comes out of the mouths of those around me and am amazed.  No wonder there are so many people in therapy.  When people are being weighed down with life's problems, they need someone to come against that and help balance them out.  They need people to ENCOURAGE them to take their focus off the difficuties and give them hope, not do the opposite of ENCOURAGE .  I know what it feels like to ENCOURAGE someone, and I know how to do it, but I don't really know how to define it.  So I looked it up. Here's the definition.  ENCOURAG E: to inspire with courage, confidence, hope or spirit.  This is one way to use the word "COURAGE."



Then I began to think about the people who seem to pride themself on doing the very opposite.  They almost seem to find some kind of perverse pleasure out of being able to DISCOURAGE those around them.  Some have done it so much they are completely unaware they are doing it.  Negativity has poured out of their mouths for so long, they can't even taste it any more.  If only they understood the kind of damage they were inflicting on the people around them, they might think twice about doing it.  It especially breaks my heart when I see an adult DISCOURAGE an innocent child.  Their words can actually cut so deep it can alter that child's future.  When you DISCOURAGE someone, you can change their very purpose in life, if that person never finds the strength to overcome those words.  And many, many, many never find the strength.  Every time you DISCOURAGE someone you are force-feeding poison into their beating heart.  People need to learn how much their words can impact someone's life.  Either in a positive way, or a negative way.  So, I only thought it was fair to look up this word too.  DISCOURAGE:  to deprive of courage, confidence, hope or spirit.  This is one way to use the word "COURAGE . "



These last 14 years, I've learned that God has given me something powerful, and it's able to propel me to victory, in the heat of any battle I fight.  It's the thing that helped me accomplish all that I had to, while staring down the barrel of a "shotgun" loaded with Loss, Sorrow, Grief, and Caregiving. I just never really thought about it in the form of a word before.  I never had a word I could attach to that "thing" that God placed within me. That "thing" that disarmed those loaded "shotguns" that I faced.  I didn't have a word until today.  As I was thinking about the words ENCOURAGE and DISCOURAGE , I noticed they had a common denominator. The one thing these two words had in common was COURAGE .  So, I looked it up like I had the other two words.  COURAGE:   the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, uncertainty, intimidation, etc., without fear.  DING, DING, DING.  A bell started ringing in my head.  The definition of the word COURAGE  described that "thing" that disarmed those loaded "shotguns."  Finally, I knew what to call it, COURAGE .  The word COURAGE is what we inspire others with when we ENCOURAGE them, or deprive them of when we DISCOURAGE them.  To see the definition of what we are inspiring or depriving others of, should really "RING OUR BELL."  This, my friends, is something so important I feel it needs to be repeated... COURAGE: the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, uncertainty, intimidation, etc., without fear.   This is one way to use the word "COURAGE."



Until the next time we talk........Stand firm on Philippians 4:13.

Love, Hugs, & Prayers,

~tf

little inspirations

"Laugh More...Gripe Less.

 Give More...Take Less.

 

 Pray More...Fret Less.

 Love More...Hate Less.

 

 Listen More...Talk Less.

 Delight More...Ache Less."     ~tf

little inspirations

"Sometimes all it takes is for ONE person to take a stand,

to make others want to "stand" with them.

I'm going to be that ONE person.  How about you?"     ~tf

little inspirations

"What's LOVE got to do with it???

I'll tell you what LOVE'S got to do with it...

EVERYTHING.  Simply EVERYTHING."     ~tf

little inspirations

"Caregiving isn't a sacrifice of your life.

Caregiving is a gift of your love"     ~tf

little inspirations

"Waiting...We've all done it.

  Pain...We've all felt it.

  Loss...We've all experienced it.

  Love...We all need to be giving it."     ~tf

little inspirations

"HOPE is for the FUTURE.

FAITH is for NOW."     ~tf

little inspirations

"You can REJOICE.

It is a CHOICE."     ~tf

little inspirations

"Believe in the dark what you learned in the light."     ~tf