B.A. Tortuga's Blog, page 67

ADVENT CALENDAR -- Day Nineteen -- Adam/Landon

"Adam." Chrissy looked…apoplectic.

"What did Landon do now? Is Granny okay?" His lover had convinced Granny to go to town and take pole dancing lessons. Their granny.

"Granny’s fine, but…"

"But?" 

"Well, the old barn? It’s filled with piglets. Piglets wearing costumes. Hats. Bows. Tags that say, 'To Adam from Cajun Claus'."

Adam stood there a second, teeth in his mouth. 

Wow.

Just… 

Wow.

"I guess I need to make them a pen."

He headed for the barn before his brother could start screaming again, the chuckles just beating their way out of his chest.

Pigs.

Pigs with hats.

God, he loved that man.

ADVENT CALENDAR -- Day Eighteen -- Landon/Adam

"Sister?" Landon whispered into his phone. "What can I get Adam for Christmas, huh? He got all the things."

"Uh. You maybe could buy him a pig. He ain’t got pigs, do he?"

"No. No." Did guys get their lovers pigs? Should it be a baby pig or a growed pig? An eating pig or a making babies pig?

Oh.

Oh!

Iff’n he got Adam lots of pigs, Adam could have babies AND eating!

"Smartest girl. I’ll fetch a passel of 'em."

"Remember to decorate them."

Right. Pigs with bows.

Excellent.

ADVENT CALENDAR -- Day Seventeen -- Jessie/Ezrah

Jessie leaned against Ezrah, breathing in air tinged with delicious smoke. "You ever miss it, living out there?"

He didn’t. He was home, surrounded by magic, by hope, by eternity, and more importantly, by his Ez. Still, the snow was falling outside the windows and that meant that Christmas was either coming or gone.

"Nope. I got everything a man could need, right here." Ezrah’s face was relaxed, lax, and they swayed together, the rest of their clan moving with them.

"Right here." He smiled. Maybe the flakes falling outside were just ash.

 

ADVENT CALENDAR -- Day Sixteen -- Biscuit and Jonesy

CB stretched out on the deck chair, the sun pouring down on him. This whole cruise-for-Christmas tradition was vaguely amazing. Food, sleep, sex, and sunshine. He approved.

"Babe, you want to go horseback riding on our excursion?"

He cracked an eye, lips twisting. "Only if you want Santa to bring his favorite medical man an ice pack and pain pills instead of blow jobs…"

"Ah. Right. Sit on the beach and drink margaritas?"

That was better. "Ho ho ho."

ADVENT CALENDAR -- Day Fifteen -- Hollis/Jeremy

Hollis stared at his lover. "I’m not eating that. It’s Christmas."

It was tofu masquerading as chocolate.

To. Fu.

"It’s yummy." Jeremy’s eyes were dancing, laughing at him, the little fuck.

"Yummy, my ass."

"Well, yeah. Totally. Have some." The jiggly bowl was pushed toward him and Hollis backed up a step, shaking his head. 

"No way. Have you tried it?"

"I don’t…"

"Oh!" The little hesitation was all he needed and he pounced. "You have to eat it first!"

That was the agreement. Hollis didn’t have to eat it if Jeremy-the-personal-trainer-of-death didn’t.

Jeremy rolled his eyes, stuck his middle finger in the goo and sucked it clean.

Managed not to make too bad of a face, too.

"Is it good?"

"Eh." The whole tub was tossed in the sink. "Your ass is better." 

ADVENT CALENDAR -- Day Fourteen -- Jason/Bax (part 7)

Jesus Christ on a candy cane, Christmas had exploded on their house.

Andy wandered around. Everything was spotless and sparking, the lights glowing. There was a huge pan of rolled enchiladas on the counter, along with queso and chips and there was a fucking cherry pie, too.

Crazy.

Jase hired folks to do this.

Whoa.

Jason was sitting in the kitchen at the table, staring off into nothing, face unhappy and quiet. "Is the tree right? I gave them money to make it right."

"It looks great, Mini. You hungry?"

"I could be, yeah."

He needed to get Jason something to do, something where he didn’t have to see.

He was going to have to call Doc. Jason had done his part to make it right. Now Bax would man up and do his, damn it.

"There’s enchiladas and stuff. You want to get plates?"

Jase stood, but shook his head. "No. I want you, Bax. I mean, not the fucking, you."

"Yeah." He went to his cowboy and held on. He didn’t know how to fix it, but he would or he’d kill someone trying. "It’s okay, Mini. We’ll figure shit. We always do."

And if they couldn’t, well, fuck, they had about a million cowboys more than willing to figure it for them. They were lucky that way.

ADVENT CALENDAR -- Day Thirteen -- Jason/Bax (part 6)

"Senor Scott? Supper is on the counter, the laundry is done and I’m heading out. I’ll be back on Monday at noon and every weekday, si?"

"Sounds good, Brenda." He reached out, hand patting Bax. "This is Andy, he lives here, too. Andy, This is Mrs. Garcia."

"Brenda, please. EZ is going to be coming too, to help out."

Jason nodded. Both Gramps and Dillon had agreed with Beau. They needed outside help with the weird shit and there wasn’t no shame in it.

Except there was, sorta.

A lot.

Still, he had to cowboy his ass up and get them folks to work and then he’d have to… learn stuff. Be useful and all.

Right?

Right.

Andy made the appropriate 'pleased to meet you' noises, then she was gone, leaving them on the front porch. "I hired her for the weekdays. I figured we can handle two days."

"Course we can." Bax took his hand. "I’m fucking sorry, Mini. That was shitty of me and I didn’t mean it."

"Sure you did. I’m broke dick."

"Bullshit you are!" The words exploded out of Bax. "You can  ride, you can play your guitar, you got money. Hell, you fool, you… you’re fucking MINE."

"No, you’re fucking me, remember? At least usually. You don’t love catching."

Bax’s teeth clacked together and then the laughter started, hard and wild. "Bastard. Asshat. Butthole."

Jason nodded, but he smiled and this time he felt it inside. "Yeah. But at least I’m not a turdmonkey like you."

ADVENT CALENDAR -- Day Twelve -- Jason/Bax (day 5)

Andy Baxter sat in his truck and stared.

He’d been gone all fucking day and now it was pitch black, except his house sure as shit wasn’t.

There was a carpet cleaning van with a hose in the front door, enough lights covering the house to signal aliens from outer space, a huge tree in the front window, and about three cars he’d never seen before.

Huh.

Maybe Jason had set something on fire again.

He grabbed his phone and called his Jase.

"'lo?"

"Mini?"

"Yeah?"

"Where are you?"

"Sitting on the back porch waiting on you to come in. I heard your truck. Do you like the lights?"

"There’s lots, yeah. Who’s all the folks?"

"Brenda and EZ and their kids from down the road. She’s gonna be our housekeeper and he’s gonna help with fixin’ shit. The kids offered to clean the carpets."

Andy got out of the truck, headed to the house, more confused than irritated. "A housekeeper?"

"Uh-huh. So you don’t have to take care of things so much." Jason sighed and Andy could see the way those thin lips would tighten. "I know it’s no good, being stuck with me. This way you got less to do."

"Now, Mini…" He didn’t go inside; he just walked around, moving faster. "I don’t think that, not once."

"I just… I want to be a good thing."

"Oh, Mini." He turned the corner at a run. "Man, you’re the best thing, every time. I swear to God."

The very best thing, Christmas or not.

ADVENT CALENDAR -- Day Eleven -- Jason/Bax (part 4)

"Dillon, that you?"

"It’s who you called, Jason." Dillon Walsh was such a smart ass. Guess that was why he was a clown.

"Oh, good." He slumped on the front porch steps, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "I need help."

"Name it."

"I need to call folks — someone to clean, someone to decorate, someone to cook. Beau says I got to stop living like I’m broke dick." They could hire someone to do things, right?

"Okay. How can I help?"

"I don’t know how to find folks. I don’t know what to do and Bax is…" Gone because I broke Christmas. "…off having a drive."

"Okay. So a housekeeper/cook, lights and tree decoration. That it?"

"Uh-huh." Bax liked to mow and he liked helping.

"That’s doable." He heard the sound of a keyboard clacking and he closed his eyes, hating that he needed help with every little thing and not knowing how to make it all right again.

Maybe this was the start.

ADVENT CALENDAR -- Day Ten -- Jason/Bax (part 3)

"I fucked up, Bo-Bo," Jason said.

Beau snorted, spit. "Yeah, like I’m fucking surprised, Jay."

"Asshole. I broke the Christmas tree."

"Ah, bebe, why you do that for?"

He grinned, shook his head. "Are you channeling your granny, man? You sound like a bayou baby."

"Some. Can you fix it, the tree?"

"I cleaned it up. I… I think… I think maybe… I don’t know. I’m stuck, Beau."

"Bullshit. You want I should beat you? You got money, you got a phone, you got a brain. Quit this shit and call someone over to decorate and make things nice, order a feast, and y’all stop living like you ain’t got a pot to piss in."

"Or a window to throw it out of?"

"Yep. Get on the phone, Jay. Fix it. Or better, get on the phone and talk to Andy. Either way, do something."

He nodded, chewing his bottom lip,

Even if it was wrong.