Niall Teasdale's Blog, page 38

Iron Sky, or How can you possibly go wrong with Space Nazis?

I’m having a few days off and a bit of movie watching is a must so I picked up Iron Sky on Blue-Ray. I have no idea how widely available this thing is, but if you can get a copy and you’re into the mildly absurd, watch it.

Basic premise: At the end of World War II a bunch of Nazis fled Germany and built a base on the far side of the moon. There they have been biding their time, ready to come back and take over the world.

Our heroine is a German actress named Julia Dietze, who is gorgeous, playing Renate Richter, a teacher who has been brought up to believe Nazi rhetoric. She actually believes that they are going to return to Earth to bring peace and harmony. To indicate how daft this film can get, in one of her earlier scenes she gets sucked through an airlock and half her clothes get sucked off; it’s so Benny Hill my sides hurt. My one regret, however, was that Udo Kier did not have a slightly larger role. Kier plays the Moon Führer (I’m not kidding!) and the man is awesome; typecast, but awesome.

The movie is cynical, funny, and jam-packed with retro-tech sci-fi. Good fun. I enjoyed it.

Progress Report

I’m sure you’ll be happy to learn that I’ve got my fantasy on again. This weekend I did a read-through of Book 7, Eagle’s Shadow. I’d estimate that it will be coming out in print around the end of June. The cover art for it is done, I think, but I won’t be revealing that for a couple of weeks.

Book 8 is probably around 50-65% complete. It’s going to be called Ancient, and I leave it up to you to guess what it might be about; no clues yet.

Beyond that, Books 9 and 10 are in planning. I admit that I generally start off these books with a good idea of where they’re going, and then I see where the idea takes me. Books 9 and 10 need to be planned out a little more carefully, specially 9. They may take a little longer to write than the previous books.

Preview Review: The Revelation

First off, a word on what I’m writing this new “feature” for. One of the best (and worst) features of many eBook retailers is the ability to download a preview version of a book. Typically this is the first 10-20% of the work. You can download that for free, see if you like the style, see if the story grabs you. Great for readers (bookshops often frown upon you reading their books without paying), terrible for authors who have to be sure to sell that book in the first chapter or two (but then, we’re supposed to sell it in the first couple ofpages).So, I download a fair few previews, I purchase fewer books. I don’t feel it’s fair to do a review of a book based on the preview I’ve read; I know I wouldn’t like that for one of my books. However, I figured it was fair to do a sort of review, where I give reasons for either going ahead and buying the book, or my reasons for rejecting it. So here’s the first of the Preview Reviews…

Revelation Space by Alastair Reynolds

I won’t be reading the rest of this one. I was looking for some sci-fi to read andRevelation Spaceand its sequels came up on several lists of good modern space opera. I’m sure it probably is, but it’s not making my reading list. And it’s a shame, because he’s a Welsh lad and I like supporting the home team.

So, why? I think the first strike against Revelation Space is the first character we meet, Dan Sylveste. I took an immediate dislike to this guy and he basically blew the book’s chances on page two. I could see the hook I was supposed to bite on; Sylveste is an archaeologist digging up evidence that an alien race may have done something spectacular and killed themselves in the process. As someone who loves science, science-fiction, and archaeology, I should be chewing on that hook like a Great White, but I’m not because Sylveste is a dick. He may be a great character, but by the end of the first chapter I’m hoping he’ll die in the space age sandstorm which is threatening his dig.

We meet a few other characters (none of them particularly likeable) and get the impression that there is a vast universe out there with weird stuff in it… just about. Despite comparisons to Iain M. Banks and William Gibson, Revelation Space comes across as inaccessible. Reynolds likes to throw out words and phrases which obviously mean something, but he isn’t going to explain so those enigmatic future-speak terms are just verbal hieroglyphics. They don’t give a “sense of wonder,” just a feeling that the author likes to think he’s smarter than the reader. The other thing that gives that impression is Reynolds’ tendency to drop complicated words for simple things into the text. In the first few pages I had to use my Kindle’s dictionary three times just to be sure of what he was saying, and my vocabulary isn’t that small.

So, sorry Mr Reynolds, I won’t be reading your books. If I want to read stuff like this, I’ll read Banks. The Scottish writer beats the Welsh one on this occasion.

The Perils of Imagination

I’m having trouble with my writing. What kind of trouble? Imagination. It’s terrible. Ideas are a terrible thing when you have work to do. So, I thought you might like to meet the girl who’s been stopping me writing about Ceri and Lily.

This is Alexis (the one on the left) and the hulking brute behind her as a villain. The render was done so I could get the scale right. I’ve been hitting a bit of a slow patch writing book 8 and Alexis is giving me a rest.

Some of the people who know me might think she looks familiar. Alexis is an incarnation of a City of Heroes MMO character I used to play a lot. She’s a cyborg with odd eyes. She is a little different from that old character, but she does have a talent for electronics and a big gun. If I can get her story right, it might make it into print, though it’s a lot different from the Thaumatology books. Don’t worry, Ceri and Lily will be back on my word processor soon enough.

Tales from the Dubh Linn

Tales from the Dubh Linn, the second anthology of short stories from the Thaumatology universe is out now. It’s $0.99 so don’t be shy, but it’s also suitable only for those over 18. I hope you like the stories. I enjoyed writing them; they’re a change from the main stream of Thaumatology books.

Smashwords: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/159144
Amazon US: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0080XPD88
Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0080XPD88

Happy Beltaine

The one big thing I dislike Communism for is turning May Day into a labour related, or downright communist, festival. (Yes, the threat of nuclear war and stuff, but that didn’t happen and I’ve heard people arguing that May Day holidays should be banned as cummunist!)

May Day, Beltaine, goes back a lot further than Soviet Russia and I think we should reclaim it. It’s half-way through the Celtic year. It’s a fire and fertility fastival. Virgins were probably not sacrificed, but virginity may have been on occasion. In the fictional world of the Thaumatology universe, Ceri and Lily would have been up on the roof of their home at dawn celebrating (and then they would have gone down to their bedroom to continue celebrating). So if you’ve got someone to celebrate the coming summer with, why wait?! Light a candle or two and… celebrate some fertility!

Hammer of Witches

The sixth of the Thaumatology Books is now out on Smashwords. Amazon will follow later today (they have a longer publishing process).

 Ceri Brent and Lily Carpenter, a sorceress and a half-succubus, are new to police work after becoming Special Advisors to the Greycoats, but when Ceri and her werewolf mate, Michael, find a charred corpse she finds herself frozen out of the investigation. As the bodies pile up they begin to investigate anyway, especially when their friends are threatened by the Witch Hunter’s widening list of criminals to be tried, convicted, and burned alive.

But the Witch Hunter appears to have divine help and Ceri’s faith will be tested to the limit before he can be finally brought to justice. What can a girl who stopped going to church at the age of seven have faith in when the country is invaded by angels?

To buy from Smashwords at half price until May 5th, use coupon code JA73H at the checkout.

Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/156491
Amazon US: coming soon
Amazon UK: coming soon

Hope you enjoy it.

Tera Reviews Disturbia

Tera over at Succubus.net had done a review of Disturbia. You can find it right here: http://www.succubus.net/blog/2012/04/27/a-review-of-disturbia-by-niall-teasdale/

And tomorrow morning I’ll be putting Book 6, Hammer of Witches, up on Smashwords and Amazon. Next week the second Thaumatology anthology will be available. Busy me.

How to Make a Fortune Selling Ebooks!

I figured it out, though it may be too late. The bandwaggon may have sailed, to mix a metaphore or two. Yes, I figured out the ultimate way to make money writing ebooks and I want to share it with everyone so they can join in too! Here’s the secret:

Write a book which explains how to write and distribute an ebook on Amazon.
Put it on Amazon for about $2.99.
…
Profit!

I doubt you need to know how to actually write a book, or create an ebook, or market it successfully, but you should have a title which suggests you do. From the explosion of these on Amazon, it seems to be a great way to con people out of make money, so let’s all get in there and write a book!

What? Yes, actually, I am a cynical old man. Now git offa ma lawn!

Two New Covers

Here we go, the two covers for upcoming releases.

Above: Hammer of Witches.

Below: Tales from the Dubh Linn.

As usual, larger versions can be seen at http://tharcion.deviantart.com.