Martin Pond's Blog, page 8

Sales - neither rhyme nor reason

Weird, isn't it? In January, I had my best month, sales-wise, for well over a year. In February, I didn't sell anything at all. Not one word.

Probably best not to over-analyse, eh...?

Interested in a signed copy?

Hello you. Yes, you. You look great today, by the way, have you done something different with your hair?

Right, now I've buttered you up... can I interest you in a signed copy of my paperback collection of unsettling short stories, Dark Steps? Yes, signed, with (if you like) a personal message.

If you'd like to buy one of these, for the bargain price of £3 + £1.40 P&P, you have until the close of play on Thursday 20th February to let me know. Include your email address, and I'll send you a PayPal link to send me the £4.40. Don't forget to include any personal message you might like.

After this date, signed copies will still be available but may cost a little bit more.

Dark Steps - it's pretty good, if I may be so bold. I think you'd like it.

The most read thing I've ever written...

...is a tweet.

Yep. Three and a half years on from my first publication, after short stories, narrative essays, a collection and a textbook, after endless wearying self-promotion and promotion and promotion... the most read thing I've ever written is a tweet. Potentially.

You see, I went to see David Baddiel's new show "Fame: not the musical" last week (it's excellent, by the way, so go and see it). Afterwards, I felt sufficiently impressed to write a review in 140 characters - a tweet review or, if you absolutely insist, a tweview. No, that's an awful contraction. Erase it from your minds.

Anyway, I wrote the tweet, namechecking @baddiel... and he retweeted it. And then some of his followers retweeted it too. Hell, some even favourited it (favourited: another word abomination). Add up all of Baddiel's Twitter followers, and those of the people who retweeted it, and mine... well, at the time I took the screenshot, this is what that looked like:

All it takes is a retweet from the right person
81 + 51 + 45 + 41 + 1,552 + 751 + 39 + 329,642, that's 332,202 people. Plus my 818. That's 333,020 Twitter users. A potential audience of a third of a million people...

Before you say it, I know they won't all have read it. For many (most?) it will be buried in their timeline. Others will scroll happily by. But even if one in a hundred stopped to read it, well... well, what, exactly? Three thousand people would then know what I thought about David Baddiel's (brilliant) new show.

So what?

I still haven't sold any books at all so far this month...

Libraries... use them, or lose them?

The library - use it, love it, join it... or lose it?This Saturday, the 8th of February, is National Libraries Day. As an avid reader and wannabe writer, libraries are special places for me, and I'm very lucky in this regard: there's a well-stocked and active library in the village, and I'm just five miles, as the crow flies, from the busiest library in Britain. And my parents are still regular customers of the mobile library van they took me to as a child.

National Libraries Day seeks to celebrate the diverse services modern libraries offer, in the hope that those who have forgotten their value get a timely reminder. And timely is the operative word there, for in these days of austerity, library budgets are an easy target for council spending cuts. First there will just be shorter opening hours, then there will be fewer mobile libraries, and finally just fewer libraries of any description... and that would be a calamity.

So take a look at National Libraries Day, see what's going on at a library near you or, better still, simply dust off your library card and go and get a book out. At the risk of stating the obvious, the easiest way to support, and hence preserve, your local library is simply to use it for its primary purpose.

If you're not from the UK...

... please could you do me a favour? Click the "Amazon (localised)" link in the left side-bar, under the "Buy, Buy, Buy..." heading) and let me know whether or not it correctly takes you to your country's Amazon site. I've changed the localisation script, and it should all work, but it's hard to test when you're stuck in one country (and most proxy servers can't handle a Blogger-based JavaScript)...

Thanks for your help.

A short story for you... just not one of mine (yet)

In the run up to Christmas, The Guardian's Weekend magazine Saturday supplement included four Christmas ghost stories. Whilst they were all good, Jeanette Winterson's Dark Christmas deserves a special mention. Pick of the bunch though, for me, was Light and Space by Ned Beauman, a terrific piece of psychological horror that inevitably prompted the "I wish I'd written that" feeling in me that I think most aspiring writers feel on a semi-regular basis. Bottom line? Light and Space is the best short story I read in 2013.

You can find all five stories online here.The website has a bonus fifth story, from Penelope Lively.

I've looked at life from both sides (of the Atlantic) now

I looked at my Amazon.com and .co.uk author profiles yesterday specifically to see if they differ and they do, in one respect.

Over in the US, people who buy things I've written also tend to buy books by these good folk:

From my US Amazon author profile
Blimey! Stephen King, Joe Hill, Clive Barker and Dean Koontz! I'll take that, any day of the week.

In the UK, things are a little different.

From my UK Amazon author profile
Now maybe I need to get out more, because I don't think I've heard of anyone on this list. But there are two names that appear on both: Scott Nicholson and J. Thorn. I think I might investigate these guys further (though I'm really not sure about the latter's author pic...)

What do you call a non-fiction short story?

Because to me, "story" implies fiction. But calling it an "essay" seems too formal, too academic.

I only ask because I thought I should probably do something with my one-time attempt to be Dave Gorman, the non-fiction short story (or essay if you'd prefer) about what happened when I tried to live for a month without using any supermarkets chains.

Yes, Tesc-No - Living without supermarkets is now available for your Kindling pleasure, and joins the growing number of non-fiction titles in my back-catalogue. And when I say "joins", I mean "doubles".

I may have appropriated a logo there...
Narrative. Maybe a non-fiction short story is just a narrative.

Dark Steps blowout!

Those three words make no sense in isolation, so let me explain.

I have a book called Dark Steps. It's a collection of short fiction, stories and a novel extract. It's pretty well liked, if I may be so bold (see what reviewers have to say on Amazon and Goodreads).

It typically retails for £1.80 in ebook form - that's about $2.80 at current exchange rates. But for a limited time, you can snag yourself a copy at Smashwords for the bargain price of 99c! That's about 60p! A bargain, I'm sure you'll agree.

To get this rip-snorting deal, head over to Smashwords now, buy yourself a copy and when you checkout use promo code FV25P.

The small print: this code is only valid for Dark Steps and expires on 27th November 2013. Exchange rates to your local currency will vary but, regardless, this promo code will give you a 64% discount on Dark Steps.

Of course if you really want a paperback copy of Dark Steps (and who wouldn't) you can get yourself one of those from Lulu.

The anatomy of a writing residential

I've just come back from a writing residential weekend. You know, the sort of "get away from distractions" trip to get some serious writing done that so many aspiring authors dream of.

I haven't been on such a weekend since December 2008, and that was organised by the university at which I was taking a diploma in creative writing. This was a little different, in that I organised it, not just for myself but for the ten-strong critique group I attend.

A few other writerly types have asked me whether it was a worthwhile exercise (in summary: yes) and what sort of things we did. So, in the absence of anything better to blog about, I thought I'd describe what we got up to. Maybe you're planning a similar writing retreat, in which case maybe this will be helpful.

Enough waffle then; here's what we did.

Saturday
1.30pmConvene at a nearby country pub for lunch. The pub was very busy, so we had a bit of a wait for food, but it was worth it. Alcohol was resisted by all present.2.45pmOpenings exercise. Brighton Rock by Graham Greene has a famously excellent opening. The task of this exercise, aside from being a "warm-up", was to attempt to write an opening of one's own in the style of Brighton Rock's. And when I say style I don't just mean tone but also word count, sentence structure, paragraph length, the whole shebang. It's hard, let me tell you, but most people seemed to get something out of it3.45pmAdjourn to residential venue for check-in. The venue is very important. Peace and quiet is essential. A few distractions to break up the writing are good (not too many though, you don't want to be too distracted). A catered venue is great - you don't want to be spending precious writing time preparing meals and washing up. Our venue was a blissfully quiet rural conference centre adjoining a convent, hence mostly used for ecclesiastic and other genteel pursuits. You open the window and there is only silence. Perfect.4.00pmFree time. I wrote 1,058 words. Others read or had a nap. No-one braved the tennis courts (too cold).6.15pmLogistics and health & safety briefing from the site manager.6.30pmDinner. Chicken curry followed by peach crumble and custard for me. See? I told you getting a catered venue's worth it...8.00pmHaving adjourned to the bar lounge, the last real exercise of the day was to read from, and eulogise about, a piece of writing that we love. Everyone goes away from this with a list of recommended reading. I read from, and heartily endorsed, Let's Kill Love by Mark Kilner. Alcohol flowed merrily, lubricating the evening's discourse.10.45pmArt and literature pub quiz (I'd nicked this from the Telegraph website - it's here it you want to try). I even provided a prize: a nice hardback edition of A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess. We all scrawled messages inside for the eventual winner (who scored 52½ out of 60, by the way), and joked that when we were famous writers it would be worth a fortune. Like I said, we were all quite lubricated by this point.1 - 3amOne batch retired at 1, another at 2 and the last men standing (myself included) at 3.
Sunday
8.30amBreaky. Croissants, fresh fruit, a boiled egg, orange juice. Lots and lots of tea, of course.9.30amFree time. I read a little ( The Psychopath Test by Jon Ronson), and proof-read a few pages of my novel-length work in progress.10.45amMorning tea and biscuits.11.00amWorkshopping, part 1. Those that wanted to have a piece reviewed, myself included, had circulated it for reading before the residential. This was where we fed back our comments and discussed the pieces.1.00pmLunch. Roast beef, yorkie pud and all the trimmings, followed by a sticky toffee date pudding and custard. I may have gained pounds as well as word-count at this residential.2.00pmWorkshopping, part 2.3.45pmAfternoon tea and cake.4.00pmWrap-up, agree to do it all again next year (possibly for two nights) and depart.
So, questions.

Was it worth it? Yes.Did I achieve anything? Yes (1,058 new words, 1,900 words workshopped and six narrow-lined sides of A4 proof-read and edited for a start, plus a list of books I want to read as long as your arm).Was it a lot of fuss to organise? Not much, and when you're as selfishly self-motivated as I was, not really at all.Would I do it again? Yes - haven't I already mentioned "same time next year"?Would I do it on my own, i.e. if I wasn't part of this wonderful critique group? Probably not. Where's the fun in that?