NZ Kaminsky's Blog - Posts Tagged "mindfulness"
Emotional awareness
When I was little, I was constantly taught to distract myself from feeling angry, upset, or anxious.
‘Here’s your favorite toy, Nat. Maybe a cookie? Think about something positive. Why are you crying? Nothing tragic has happened. Others have it worse. Be strong! Fight your weakness.’
Is it really a weakness? I wondered. Or do tears have their own rhythm, their own purpose?
It took a debilitating illness and severe depression to awaken me to my authentic self, with all its darkness and beauty. Now, I am learning not to dismiss or abandon my needs, not to silence my naturally arising emotions, but to meet them with compassion and loving kindness. For too long, I had bullied the wounded parts of myself, not because others did once I became an adult, but because I had internalized a destructive pattern. A silent tormentor in my mind whispered: If you feel this, you are not strong enough, not good enough, not worthy of love.
I know it wasn’t intentional. Those around me were protecting themselves from their own pain as they watched mine. But it’s time to break the cycle. To stop this madness. To accept what is—to let it rise and fall naturally, as all things should.
“Listen to your emotions, darling.
They're just signals that something is wrong for you, not with you.” — Sense of Home by Kaminsky
Do you ever catch yourself dismissing your own feelings before anyone else can?
‘Here’s your favorite toy, Nat. Maybe a cookie? Think about something positive. Why are you crying? Nothing tragic has happened. Others have it worse. Be strong! Fight your weakness.’
Is it really a weakness? I wondered. Or do tears have their own rhythm, their own purpose?
It took a debilitating illness and severe depression to awaken me to my authentic self, with all its darkness and beauty. Now, I am learning not to dismiss or abandon my needs, not to silence my naturally arising emotions, but to meet them with compassion and loving kindness. For too long, I had bullied the wounded parts of myself, not because others did once I became an adult, but because I had internalized a destructive pattern. A silent tormentor in my mind whispered: If you feel this, you are not strong enough, not good enough, not worthy of love.
I know it wasn’t intentional. Those around me were protecting themselves from their own pain as they watched mine. But it’s time to break the cycle. To stop this madness. To accept what is—to let it rise and fall naturally, as all things should.
“Listen to your emotions, darling.
They're just signals that something is wrong for you, not with you.” — Sense of Home by Kaminsky
Do you ever catch yourself dismissing your own feelings before anyone else can?
Shadow Integration
Many of us have been taught to escape or fight uncomfortable emotions, labeled as “negative,” something to be eradicated in our pursuit of becoming better humans. We’ve spent our lives locked in an excruciating, endless battle against ourselves, chasing what we want while neglecting to give ourselves what we truly need.
But our shadows aren’t enemies to conquer. They’re allies holding untapped potential: wounded parts of our psyche crying out for acknowledgment, validation, and compassion. They need us to process the pain we’ve long ignored, resisted, and buried in the dungeons of our subconscious.
When we meet these shadows with care, they transform. They release the power they’ve been holding back our creativity, strength, resilience. Through the ugly truths we uncover about ourselves, they show us the path to freedom.
Imagine your shadow as your closest friend or a child longing for love, an ally guiding you toward wholeness, a source of strength leading you to awakening.
Embrace it with kindness.
Hugs,
Natalie
P.S.: In my novel Sense of Home, I explore the process of shadow integration through storytelling, folklore, and dreams that blur the line between fiction and reality, guiding Tyra on her path to healing. If this resonates with you, I’d be honoured to call you my reader.
But our shadows aren’t enemies to conquer. They’re allies holding untapped potential: wounded parts of our psyche crying out for acknowledgment, validation, and compassion. They need us to process the pain we’ve long ignored, resisted, and buried in the dungeons of our subconscious.
When we meet these shadows with care, they transform. They release the power they’ve been holding back our creativity, strength, resilience. Through the ugly truths we uncover about ourselves, they show us the path to freedom.
Imagine your shadow as your closest friend or a child longing for love, an ally guiding you toward wholeness, a source of strength leading you to awakening.
Embrace it with kindness.
Hugs,
Natalie
P.S.: In my novel Sense of Home, I explore the process of shadow integration through storytelling, folklore, and dreams that blur the line between fiction and reality, guiding Tyra on her path to healing. If this resonates with you, I’d be honoured to call you my reader.
Love yourself as if nobody’s watching
Many of us carry the subconscious belief that self love is selfish. We know, intellectually, that it’s nonsense, right? But breaking the cycle of self abandonment is incredibly hard. It surfaces every time we try to escape uncomfortable emotions, troublesome realities, or simple exhaustion. What if we committed to practicing self love, portion by portion, each day? For example, by sitting in a comfy armchair, curled up in soft blankets, inhaling the aroma of freshly baked bread and brewed coffee, or fragrant tea, in a nourishing self hug for five minutes, twice a day. Sometimes, it helps to lower our expectations or loosen our commitments and instead focus on rebuilding our relationships with ourselves gradually, step by step, with absolute kindness. I’ve found somatic exercises to be incredibly helpful for regulating the nervous system and sending signals of safety, presence, and love to the brain.
Hugs 💛
Natalie
Hugs 💛
Natalie
