Chris Dee's Blog: Chris Dee's Cat-Tales Blog, page 4
October 9, 2017
The Secret Life of Crime Chocolate
Pure Nacional Cacao, the thought-be-extinct chocolate we saw in NMK Inc is, as most of you know, a real thing. Though associated with Ecuador, the trees that it turned out were still with us were found in the Marañón River Canyon of Peru, and it’s Peru that cultivated new trees from that precious stock to produce Fortunato No 4. While this stuff is pricey, $20-40 a bar when I was researching NMK, it’s not absurdly, catastrophically expensive like, say, the $1000 sundae at Serendipity 3.
I mention this because CNBC has a video on it… sorta.
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“The thing is—and I really hope you’ll see the funny here—the fact is, Bruce, these are sort of… crime chocolates.” – Selina Kyle, NMK Inc.
Ecuador seems to have got its hands on enough trees for a small crop, and we can assume they either paid more than they can ever recoup, or they assume being the original source of Nacional Cacao, they can hike up the price for the added cache.
Their chocolate, according to CNBC, goes for $345 a bite. (Note the lack of a decimal?) For “a little under 2 ounces” that comes to $6.16/a gram. In contrast, two bite-size “ingots” of Fortunato No 4 from Patricia’s Chocolate in Michigan goes for… $3.80. (See the decimal?) That comes out to $0.24 /gram.
So enjoy the vid, but be aware if tasting this stuff is on your bucket list, there’s a world full of chocolatiers listed on the Marañón website where ethically sourced Fortunato No 4 can be had for the price of a cheese slice at Grimaldi’s.
October 6, 2017
New Chapter Drops Pearl Part 6: East End
Over in the Gotham Post, Batman scribe Tom King has said Bruce’s reaction to Selina’s answer will be… to do something illegal.
This is getting weird.
Anyway, in Cat-Tales: Pearl Bruce and Selina’s wedding gift to each other is one Thomas Pearl, a new criminal cover for him to inhabit a la Matches Malone (except that he’s nothing like Matches Malone.) No rough edges here, Tommy is the criminal Bruce would have become if he’d gone that way, and he’s targeting Luthor’s money men. There was no way we were going to get through this tale without going to a Caribbean tax haven…
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The East End of Grand Cayman, or as Selina puts it “Everyone’s second favorite Caribbean tax haven”… What? What other East End did you imagine we might be talking about?
Pearl Part 6: East End on the main Cat-Tales website and mobile-friendly mirror Cat-Tales.mobi
October 4, 2017
#CoughDidItFirst
Everyone is excited about Bruce’s proposal in Batman 24 and Selina’s answer hitting the comic shops today in Batman 32. As HQ for what I’m fairly sure is the longest-running Batman/Catwoman series on the web, we here at Cat-Tales are also quite spectacularly excited… Though it should be noted while others are exclaiming “It’s about damn time,” Cat-Tales readers (and its creator) are more apt to be heard murmuring “Well yes, of course, but… what took you so long?”
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If you’d like to share but don’t like the long, narrow format, there is a landscape version. Enjoy.
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August 15, 2017
Inside the mind of Bruce Wayne in Cat-Tales: Pearl
“As soon as I feel that click of understanding, the box inside my mind unlocks and I begin integrating whatever I’ve learned into everything else I know. As soon as I feel the click… ”
– Bruce Wayne, Pearl
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“Written like someone with a true respect for the martial arts.”
Even though he’s not learning any martial art in Cat-Tales: Pearl (he’s learning to be a cat burglar!), the story has attracted attention for taking us inside the mind of Bruce Wayne, the white belt – Bruce Wayne the student and illuminating an aspect of his expertise in the martial arts in an entirely new way.
The current chapter “Click” drops today at the main Cat-Tales website and mobile-friendly mirror Cat-Tales.mobi
July 24, 2017
Namascray: Tom King Gets Real on a Batman-Catwoman Marriage
“I’m married to the best woman who ever lived, and she guides me through everything. She sees how messed up I am, and she loves that part of [me]. And I see how messed up she is, and I love that part of her. Because of that, we can live together and be happy. So I think that’s how it would work.” -Tom King, Tom King explains what a Batman-Catwoman marriage would look like, Los Angeles Times
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“Marry me”
I haven’t said anything about Tom King’s Batman run (despite an impressive number of inquiries,) because—I’m sorry, this is no secret—DC has given us no reason to trust anything they do with Catwoman. (Or with Batman.) (Or and most especially with Bat and Cat together.) Nothing that’s happened in recent weeks changes that.
But I will say this about the above quote: it demonstrates the only mature, intelligent, real take I’ve seen on a Bruce-Selina relationship that, well, I didn’t have to write myself. And quite frankly, it’s the most mature, intelligent, real take on any relationship I’ve heard from a DC writer in any medium. It describes a real, human connection—a real partnership—between adults who care about each other. Namascray, as the meme says, the crazy in me recognizes and honors the crazy in you. Our crazy fits, so together we’re something more than we are separately, and together we tackle what life throws our way.*
I love my readers, but I remember a hella-disconnect when Bruce proposed in Wayne Rises. As y’all might remember, he wasn’t as smooth as his Batman 24 counterpart. He botched it on a truly epic scale. When life went on a chapter later, I started getting comments bewildered that they were still together, that Selina was still living at the manor and, despite understandable tensions, everyone was still capable of civility and even affection. There were people who passionately wanted the marriage yet expected the relationship to be over because he messed up.
That made me wonder what they thought this marriage they wanted was? Because husbands and wives mess up, a lot. We’ve all got that cray-cray, and when you say “I do,” you’re agreeing to work through whatever comes along. If a silly thing like his particular brand of screwy producing an utterly awful proposal is a deal-breaker, well, you’re not ready to marry anybody. When his particular brand of screwy makes you want to smack him in the head and just—Argh! Jackass!—but you still love him in spite of because of the thing that makes you want to smack him… that’s your husband.
Mrs. King is a lucky woman.
No joke, Tom gets that and Mrs. King is a lucky woman. That doesn’t necessarily mean Batman readers are. See above, folks, DC has done nothing in the last 30 years let alone the last 30 days to make you run at that football again. King, however, has done a bit to establish that if it’s going to be done, he’s got the human toolbox (which has zero overlap with comics/continuity sensibilities btw) to do it well.
Once upon a time, DC’s Powers that Be made some absurd proclamations about their characters being in permanent, happy relationships. As now, a lot of people were messaging me for a response, so much so that I finally replied with a rather curt announcement that if I had any opinion on DC’s collective grasp (of marriage and the effect it would have on a character like Bruce) you would have heard at least one song from Company by now.
Tom King, this is for you.
*If you want realism in your fiction, that’s how you get it. Not making the Batmobile into a tank, not doing insanely violent things while quipping like a ’90s action hero. By starting your answer about a Batman-Catwoman marriage with your own.
June 26, 2017
HAHAHAHA! Jokes and Riddles Week Begins
“HAHAHAHAHA!”
It was my instant messenger. Riddler set this system up for the “villain community” to keep in touch.
There they are, in the very first lines of the first Cat-Tale. Before Batman or Catwoman were even mentioned, Joker and Riddler had planted their flag. We’re excited to see how many Jokes and Riddles goodies we can pack in to a single week, and who will come out the content king. This morning, Joker started off the festivities with a bang…
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Surprise Joker by Selina Enriquez
Yet no sooner was that posted, we saw HarryPotter20 was trending. The 20th Anniversary of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, we could hardly ignore an omen like that–not when we had observed Batman’s 75th Anniversary with a Gotham Rogue-Harry Potter mashup. So we promptly dug out the Mashupimus Ridiculus and re-mashed for the occasion…
The complete Rogues Gallery collection can be found here.
Finally, we rounded off Day One with a quote from Edward Nigma: Another City Not My Own aka Riddle Me-Tropolis
Thus far, the combatants are neck and neck and there’s been a surprising lack of bloodshed. Will it hold? Stay tuned.
June 25, 2017
“Maybe we’re entangled particles” Celebrating Couples that Are Meant To Be in the Cat-Tales Gallery
“Marry me.” With those two words on the last panel of Batman 24, Tom King electrified social media as even non-niche publications like USA Today and The Daily Beast carried the story: Batman had at long last proposed to Catwoman. Most comic shops reported the issue was sold out before it officially went on sale, guaranteeing a second printing which was released last Wednesday.
Cat-Tales, whose Bruce Wayne had delivered that same two-word proposal in Wayne Rises, wanted to salute the occasion and produced a new work reproducing the image with our own characters for the Cat-Tales gallery.*
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“Marry me”
A Long Time Coming: Batman’s Proposal to Catwoman Makes It Official: This Is DC Comics’ Greatest Relationship proclaimed The Daily Beast, whose Ira Madison III began by quoting Selina in Batman Returns “I would love to live with you in your castle… forever, just like in a fairy tale.”
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“Selina… Catwoman is the reason why Tim Burton’s 1992 masterpiece works so well. “
And Cat-Tales is thrilled to announce two pieces by the incomparable Romano Molenaar: The finished Batman Returns: Kiss seen above, and Catnip, the penciled version that first caught our eye.
In a stunningly romantic touch, King has Bruce propose with the diamond ring Selina tried to steal at their first meeting back in Batman #1. While she wasn’t wearing her classic Golden Age threads at that encounter (she was in disguise, after all,) we know it is the spirit of that true, original Catwoman that captured his heart on day one. Thus, we present DC’s Power Couple by Elena Casagrande:
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Batman and Catwoman: Power Couple by Elena Casagrande
Golden age, Bronze Age, the Batmania of the 1960s, Elseworld after Elseworld and Era after Era, it is always Bruce and Selina. That was the message in String Theory, where the universal constant is the crucial element unraveling a cosmic crisis.
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“Maybe we’re entangled quantum particles”
Tom King’s story continues in The War of Jokes and Riddles, and while we at Cat-Tales do not read the Gotham Post, we will be observing it with Jokes and Riddles Week.
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Riddler and Game Theory at the Iceberg Lounge
Bruce and Selina may be DC Comics’s ultimate Power Couple, they may be the entangled particles that are meant to be, but they aren’t the only soulmates in Gotham. The lady who began her career as Cognitive Dissonance has certainly won Eddie’s heart and it’s high time she took her rightful place in the gallery.
Jokes and Riddles Week begins Monday, June 26.
*Please note that Chris has received multiple requests for “Marry Me” to be released in the full array of wallpaper sizes and ratios, but it is only available in the one size at this time. Making the full slate of wallpapers is a huge undertaking and if we pursue it, may be weeks or months before anything ready.
June 6, 2017
Pearl Part 4: Tea and Larceny drops at Cat-Tales
Bruce asked for five days to perfect his cover. But what exactly is he doing with them?
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Expect cat burglar gadgets, America’s Cup racing, um, possibly a large Ming jar of the Xuende period…
Read Pearl on the main Cat-Tales website or mobile-friendly mirror Cat-Tales.mobi
May 30, 2017
That Hot Ivan Reis Catwoman Statue Drops Tomorrow @MidtownComics
A few months ago when our blog on A Catwoman Renaissance featured a smoking hot Balent-style Catwoman statue from Iron Studios, it was unclear if the breathtaking limited edition based on Ivan Reis would be available in the U.S.
We here at Cat-Tales are delighted to announce they’ve got her at Midtown Comics and midtowncomics.com.
As stated in the original post, Scale 1/10, 18cm, hand-painted, smoking hot. Looks like the whip is separate to carry or drape however you like. And a much fuller array of pictures in Iron Studios Facebook album.
Enjoy.
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April 26, 2017
A Catwoman Renaissance
“For me, Catwoman has always been fun to write. I think it’s because she actually likes her self and enjoys life. That’s so rare in a modern comic book character.”
– Chuck Dixon, Poplitiko
The statement will probably confuse the modern Catwoman fan. Selina fun? A winner who likes herself and enjoys her life? How can this be?
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Jim Balent shares Catwoman Issue #1
Cat-Tales fans are not confused, and Cat Tales fans can rejoice for that fun, winning, sexy, resourceful Selina that we never gave up is (finally!)making a comeback! Coming this September, DC is releasing the first volume in the collected edition of Jim Balent’s 1990’s Catwoman series. It will include issue 1-14 written by Mary Jo Duffy and issue #0 by Doug Moench who simply the gold standard of Bronze Age Bat/Cat.
Jim Balent remains “the epitome of Catwoman artists” (Amazon), delivering an unapologetically voluptuous feline fatale whose look fits her brazen personal style. Consider the episode from the first story arc, “Life Lines,” which Chris Dee cites in her 2011 Blogtalk interv;ew: Selina infiltrates a wealthy man’s apartment during a party, posing in the dark as his wife fresh from the shower and wrapped in a towel. She gets away with the goodies and gets back into costume just as quickly as she had come (so much for it being impractical) but Chris’s point was the daring nature of the move, the fun – this Catwoman’s essence and appeal is the fun of being bad (and getting away with it). Though before we close the bok on practicality, it’s worth noting that this costume defined it for those who know the meaning of the word rather than using it as code: it was noted that while the rest of Gotham fought a fully-functioning Batman, Selina only had to contend with 1/5th of him.
Writer Jo Duffy catches Selina’s voice perfectly. She catches her good and bad sides, her tenderness and cattiness (and another feature that Cat Tales fans know about, her utter contempt for Azrael, the man who took Bruce’s place – in his view, anyway – when Bane broke his back).
If you’re tired of a Trinity cosplayer with Snoopy goggles being presented as Catwoman, tired of “complexity” (i.e. short hair and small boobs passed off as characterization), or just want to see what was so special about the era when Selina was sexy, sassy, confident and the world’s best cat burglar that fans refused to give her up despite a full court press from her publisher that went on for a decade and a half, you can pre-order here on Amazon, or visit your local comic shop who are apparently unable to preorder for several months yet. Make sure they (and DC) know that we want this.
One final note on what may be a renaissance for the smoking hot, purple kitty: Brazilian pop culture company, Iron Studios, is going to release a gorgeous statue of the stunningly beautiful, purple clad, long haired Selina based on the artwork of long time DC artist, Ivan Reis (famous for his Aquaman run with writer, Geoff Johns). [image error]
Models and maquettes have come a long way since Denny O’neil’s day when depictions of the Balent Catwoman were marred by unattractive snarls and poses as if by editorial mandate, but nothing – nothing like this – has been seen for the absolute love that has gone into every angle and detail. This hand-painted, 1/10 scale, 18cm model is simply the sexiest tribute to the purple Selina you can find, and rivals the Tweeterhead Julie Newmar maquettes in my opinion.
Iron Studios full photo album is here. (Unfortunately, how you could go about buying one, I have no idea.)
So… whether it’s actually a sexy, purple, long-haired, cat-burglar Catwoman renaissance, a test balloon or simply a very lucky coincidence, the time is now. Break out your wallets. Vote with your wallets. You know how Selina gets when you make her do it herself.
