Chris Fabry's Blog, page 14
August 1, 2011
Comfort in Grief
Death seems like such a formidable foe. Big and scary and final. It feels very much like the end in so many ways.
But it's not. I know that from what God has revealed to us. I know it in my heart. But knowing that in your head is the problem because what we see isn't the total truth. Yes, death is an end. It's separation. It's painful.
But it's also a beginning.
We're going through that with my father now. At 91, his mind and body are failing. It could be days. It could be weeks. But the end is near. And it hurts. Death seems to be all around us. I have a feeling that's not going to change. The illusion is that life just continues as it is and as it has been, but we're smacked with reality from time to time.
I was searching for some encouragement and received this email from a listener. I thought it might encourage you. If you're going through grief and trying to understand, this parent's perspective says it all.
Chris,
My son, CPL Frank R. Gross, was killed in action in Afghanistan July 16. The Humvee he was riding in hit an IED. While it has been difficult for this family, I am thankful to God for the 25 years that we enjoyed with our son. He fulfilled all of the qualifications of a good son, and he did that well.
Last night, I struggled with some differing thoughts...I have friends who believe that my son's life was cut short, that the enemy took his life....however, I opened my Bible....the place I turn to for words of truth...a place where God reveals Himself to me and draws me to Him...and read these precious words: Ps 139:13 "For You created my inmost being, You knit me together in my mother's womb.......16 All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.", and then I turned to Ps 31:14-15 "But I trust in You, O Lord, I say, "You are my God" 15 My times are in Your hands...".
I believe in and trust in the sovereignty of God, I have hope and faith that I will one day join my son and all those who have gone on before me who trusted their lives to God.
I enjoy listening to your program on 91.1 Tampa Bay, FL.
Toni Gross
The attached photo above (lone soldier) is of Frank as he graduated from basic training, Ft. Benning, GA, July 2010. My daughter and I picked that one.
The other(the final mission) is one that my son created just before he died. All of his artwork up until this piece had been gloomy, but this was the first and last one that he did that wasn't....perhaps he knew in his spirit that he would be going home soon?
But it's not. I know that from what God has revealed to us. I know it in my heart. But knowing that in your head is the problem because what we see isn't the total truth. Yes, death is an end. It's separation. It's painful.
But it's also a beginning.
We're going through that with my father now. At 91, his mind and body are failing. It could be days. It could be weeks. But the end is near. And it hurts. Death seems to be all around us. I have a feeling that's not going to change. The illusion is that life just continues as it is and as it has been, but we're smacked with reality from time to time.
I was searching for some encouragement and received this email from a listener. I thought it might encourage you. If you're going through grief and trying to understand, this parent's perspective says it all.
Chris,
My son, CPL Frank R. Gross, was killed in action in Afghanistan July 16. The Humvee he was riding in hit an IED. While it has been difficult for this family, I am thankful to God for the 25 years that we enjoyed with our son. He fulfilled all of the qualifications of a good son, and he did that well.
Last night, I struggled with some differing thoughts...I have friends who believe that my son's life was cut short, that the enemy took his life....however, I opened my Bible....the place I turn to for words of truth...a place where God reveals Himself to me and draws me to Him...and read these precious words: Ps 139:13 "For You created my inmost being, You knit me together in my mother's womb.......16 All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.", and then I turned to Ps 31:14-15 "But I trust in You, O Lord, I say, "You are my God" 15 My times are in Your hands...".
I believe in and trust in the sovereignty of God, I have hope and faith that I will one day join my son and all those who have gone on before me who trusted their lives to God.
I enjoy listening to your program on 91.1 Tampa Bay, FL.
Toni Gross
The attached photo above (lone soldier) is of Frank as he graduated from basic training, Ft. Benning, GA, July 2010. My daughter and I picked that one.
The other(the final mission) is one that my son created just before he died. All of his artwork up until this piece had been gloomy, but this was the first and last one that he did that wasn't....perhaps he knew in his spirit that he would be going home soon?
July 19, 2011
Military Couple
I spoke today with the wife of a military member in Georgia whose husband is in big trouble. Their military housing, they believe, is moldy. They have symptoms consistent with mold exposure. But his superior officer has ordered him to keep quiet about the mold and move his family back into the housing unit.
I won't go into more detail than that, but you can see the pickle this military man is in. He's sworn to obey his commanding officer and serve his country. But when his family's health is at risk when given that order, what does he do?
On Thursday, there will be a court proceeding. Would you pray for wisdom and clarity and that the truth of this situation would come out?
I won't go into more detail than that, but you can see the pickle this military man is in. He's sworn to obey his commanding officer and serve his country. But when his family's health is at risk when given that order, what does he do?
On Thursday, there will be a court proceeding. Would you pray for wisdom and clarity and that the truth of this situation would come out?
2nd Day
All three puppies came home tired at the end of the day, but made it through the entire day at school. There was some consternation about not having the right supply list, but that was remedied last night. Colin's blood sugar ran higher all day, hopefully because of the excitement and stress and not any chemical reactions from the new environment. Today his numbers were much better.
Andrea drove away alone today with them and she had her laptop with her. I'm hoping she'll get some alone time and some tea. That type of morning has been non-existent for a few years.
Thanks for keeping up with the progress of the kids!
cf
Andrea drove away alone today with them and she had her laptop with her. I'm hoping she'll get some alone time and some tea. That type of morning has been non-existent for a few years.
Thanks for keeping up with the progress of the kids!
cf
July 18, 2011
Apples on the Porch
It's difficult to not live in the past. It's tough to just look at today and not put a template of fear over your life.
My mind is spinning with memories from years ago when the first day of School was in August and fall was in the air in Colorado. Andrea would draw apples with chalk on our front porch, symbolizing the kids going back to school. Those were exciting days filled with new clothes and backpacks and anticipation of the year ahead. In 2008 those days came crashing to a close.
Today, July 18, 2011, the kids go back to school for the first time since 2008. They've been taught at home in our safe environment for the past two years. Safe in the sense of toxins, chemicals, and odors from the outside world. We created as perfect a bubble as we could.
Last night, Andrea drew three apples on the front porch. These are desert apples. It's not even close to fall. It was above 100 degrees yesterday. But the feeling of anticipation and excitement is the same. The kids were up before 6 AM, getting ready, putting on their new clothes. Getting backpacks prepared.
I do not know if this will last. They may come home this afternoon with bloody noses. We've had an air purifier in the classrooms over the weekend and have done everything humanly possible to prepare the teachers and administration. Now we take a step into the unknown again.
There's something about the 18th that feels right. Andrea and I were engaged on the 18th. We broke up on the 18th. We were married on the 18th. None of our children have been born on the 18th, but I think that's an anomaly. Through our dating and married years, pivotal things happen on the 18th. An offer on a house. A book contract signed. Some milestone with the children. The 18th has held a special place for us, and it does so today.
At the same time I look at this beginning, this step of faith, I think of my father and a childhood friend who are slipping from our lives. There is no talk of going back to school for my friend, Mike, who is now in hospice. There is only talk of a pain-free life, that he is resting comfortably. How can life go on when his family is in such pain? And my father has come out of another hospitalization, confused, unsure of where home is.
Perhaps there are apples in each of our lives, drawn with chalk on the front porch of our lives, signaling something new, something good that feels terribly wrong. Seeing those drawings takes faith. Stepping across them takes will-power.
I don't think we're stepping across them alone.
My mind is spinning with memories from years ago when the first day of School was in August and fall was in the air in Colorado. Andrea would draw apples with chalk on our front porch, symbolizing the kids going back to school. Those were exciting days filled with new clothes and backpacks and anticipation of the year ahead. In 2008 those days came crashing to a close.
Today, July 18, 2011, the kids go back to school for the first time since 2008. They've been taught at home in our safe environment for the past two years. Safe in the sense of toxins, chemicals, and odors from the outside world. We created as perfect a bubble as we could.
Last night, Andrea drew three apples on the front porch. These are desert apples. It's not even close to fall. It was above 100 degrees yesterday. But the feeling of anticipation and excitement is the same. The kids were up before 6 AM, getting ready, putting on their new clothes. Getting backpacks prepared.
I do not know if this will last. They may come home this afternoon with bloody noses. We've had an air purifier in the classrooms over the weekend and have done everything humanly possible to prepare the teachers and administration. Now we take a step into the unknown again.
There's something about the 18th that feels right. Andrea and I were engaged on the 18th. We broke up on the 18th. We were married on the 18th. None of our children have been born on the 18th, but I think that's an anomaly. Through our dating and married years, pivotal things happen on the 18th. An offer on a house. A book contract signed. Some milestone with the children. The 18th has held a special place for us, and it does so today.
At the same time I look at this beginning, this step of faith, I think of my father and a childhood friend who are slipping from our lives. There is no talk of going back to school for my friend, Mike, who is now in hospice. There is only talk of a pain-free life, that he is resting comfortably. How can life go on when his family is in such pain? And my father has come out of another hospitalization, confused, unsure of where home is.
Perhaps there are apples in each of our lives, drawn with chalk on the front porch of our lives, signaling something new, something good that feels terribly wrong. Seeing those drawings takes faith. Stepping across them takes will-power.
I don't think we're stepping across them alone.
July 12, 2011
Yay for Billy Allman
It's time to give you a final update on Almost Heaven. Many of you prayed for this book as it was being released. I wanted to let you know some good news. First, some anecdotal evidence that the book is having an impact. Here is a little from an e-mail I received yesterday, 7/11.
Dear Chris,
This is my last day of our family vacation. I took your book, Almost Heaven, with me. I thought it would be a fun read. In some ways it was, but more importantly, God used it in his process of healing my soul, which took me by surprise.
As I was reading the chapters of Billy's last weekend with his mom before going to the nursing home, I'm at the pool weeping and drying my eyes with my beach towel. I could relate to so many of his feelings. I loved when the puppy barfed on his mom and you wrote, "perfect end to a perfect day." I was grieving my parents' failing health along with Billy.
Then, towards the end you bring up Billy's past issue and his need for counseling. God was speaking to me about how, as painful as (our trials) have been, they are part of a healing process that he is doing in me. I don't understand the process, Chris. I don't understand the role of tears and pain and grief in soul healing. Somehow God uses it and he used your book this week in that mysterious process.
That letter did a lot to encourage me, and it confirms my suspicion that there was more in those pages than just me trying to tell a story. When I first suggested the plot of Almost Heaven to my editor, Karen Watson, she took a deep breath. She said she trusted me with the subject and that it would come out redemptive and healing, even though it was about an obscure man and the angel who watches him. I think she was right, and those who prayed and read were part of that process.
If you didn't hear, Almost Heaven won best fiction for the past year by the Evangelical Christian Publishers Association. And last night, it won the Christy Award for Stand Alone novel. I'm excited for Billy, that a little of his heart has been told. I'm excited that you were part of this. Thank you.
Chris Fabry
P.S. I have a novella coming out this Christmas with Dr. Gary Chapman titled "A Marriage Carol." My prayer for that book is that the story will help save a marriage. And in February, my next big novel, the one I think will capture a lot of attention, will be released. It's called "Not in the Heart." More about that in the coming months.
Dear Chris,
This is my last day of our family vacation. I took your book, Almost Heaven, with me. I thought it would be a fun read. In some ways it was, but more importantly, God used it in his process of healing my soul, which took me by surprise.
As I was reading the chapters of Billy's last weekend with his mom before going to the nursing home, I'm at the pool weeping and drying my eyes with my beach towel. I could relate to so many of his feelings. I loved when the puppy barfed on his mom and you wrote, "perfect end to a perfect day." I was grieving my parents' failing health along with Billy.
Then, towards the end you bring up Billy's past issue and his need for counseling. God was speaking to me about how, as painful as (our trials) have been, they are part of a healing process that he is doing in me. I don't understand the process, Chris. I don't understand the role of tears and pain and grief in soul healing. Somehow God uses it and he used your book this week in that mysterious process.
That letter did a lot to encourage me, and it confirms my suspicion that there was more in those pages than just me trying to tell a story. When I first suggested the plot of Almost Heaven to my editor, Karen Watson, she took a deep breath. She said she trusted me with the subject and that it would come out redemptive and healing, even though it was about an obscure man and the angel who watches him. I think she was right, and those who prayed and read were part of that process.
If you didn't hear, Almost Heaven won best fiction for the past year by the Evangelical Christian Publishers Association. And last night, it won the Christy Award for Stand Alone novel. I'm excited for Billy, that a little of his heart has been told. I'm excited that you were part of this. Thank you.
Chris Fabry
P.S. I have a novella coming out this Christmas with Dr. Gary Chapman titled "A Marriage Carol." My prayer for that book is that the story will help save a marriage. And in February, my next big novel, the one I think will capture a lot of attention, will be released. It's called "Not in the Heart." More about that in the coming months.
July 5, 2011
4th of July Picnic
Brandon Fabry shows perfect form in the bean bag toss. Chris Fabry stands behind the target, watching in anxious anticipation, bedecked with his favorite Ohio State hat he bought at Walmart for $5. Andrea Fabry, who blew away the competition, reacts to the action with one arm akimbo, the other in a clear signal to her partner, illegal in most states. Not pictured, Colin Fabry, blocked by Chris Fabry.
Backgrond courtesy of Southern Arizona and the Lindsey family farm. Cow pies optional.
Backgrond courtesy of Southern Arizona and the Lindsey family farm. Cow pies optional.
July 1, 2011
50 Things I've Learned in 50 years
1. Failure is frightening, success can be terrifying. Both will try to stop you from doing what you were called to do.
2. Love is patient, love is kind, but it's also messy and really hard. A good man will let it change him.
3. A free phone, a free month, and a free horse are never free.
4. It doesn't take much to encourage someone. And it takes even less to discourage them.
5. It's a mistake to base what you do on your worst critic, your biggest fan, or a focus group. Be who you were made to be, not who someone thinks you should be.
6. There are three things that are too wonderful for me, four that I do not understand: A good dog, a loving wife, children who obey, and an honest mechanic.
7. The goal of my life is not perfection, it's participation.
8. Love means never having to admit that your wife was wrong.
9. Those who suck on the straw of life get a lot more out of it than those who blow into it.
10. Sometimes the worst thing I could have is to get what I want.
11. If you have to buy the protection plan, don't buy it.
12. Drive the speed limit and you'll never worry about how much the speeding ticket is going to cost.
13. Struggle is not the sign of illness or death, it's a sign of life.
14. Left to itself, the human heart will always settle for something less than that which will truly satisfy.
15. There is no problem, no diagnosis, no hurt or pain or mountain that is bigger than God.
16. Invest your time, don't just spend it. Saying no to something will allow you to say yest to something later.
17. Faith is not understanding everything God is doing. Faith is trusting that what he is doing is good and will result in glory to him.
18. Love is a lot like living in the desert. There will be times of rain and cool. But most of the time it's hot and your garbage stinks.
19. Life is not about reaching my dreams and goals, it's about discovering God's plan and purpose.
20. Time with your children is never wasted.
21. Loss and pain force you to choose between bitter and better.
22. When I work to control my life, I get further behind in following Jesus.
23. The key to the abundant life is forgiveness. It's a choice to make every day.
24. It's a good thing to cry. It shows you're human and connected.
25. It's okay to let people down, make mistakes, and fail because it proves you're trying. Life is not about getting everything right.
26. Loving someone doesn't always mean you make them happy. And being loved doesn't always mean that you're happy.
27. God doesn't need my ability. He desires availability. My greatest mission is submission to him.
28. God doesn't want to resurface my life and make it smoother. He wants to dig it up, make it new, and change directions.
29. Money and possessions are like weeds in life's garden. Give as much away as you can.
30. Sometimes progress looks like death.
31. Humility and self-deprecation are miles apart.
32. If Jesus never hurried, I don't have to.
33. Making your kids do what is right is not parenting. Training them to choose what is right is.
34. Doctors don't know everything and neither do I.
35. I have no relatives in England or Africa who have died and left me money.
36. Beware of these three words, spoken to you on the street, after dark. "Excuse me, sir?"
37. Invest in people not things.
38. A coward uses his wife as the reason for making a decision.
39. Monogomy is the most sexy thing you can do.
40. A good marriage can look like a bad marriage for awhile.
41. The people who wound are wounded themselves.
42. The end of the chapter does not determine the end of the book.
43. There will be no homeowner's association in heaven.
44. I cannot live my life for another's agenda. My greatest test will be to discern God's agenda from my own.
45. When I feel blue in my soul, it's because I have not understood that prayer is the breath of the Christian.
46. If you live by fear, you will never rest. But if you live in freedom, you'll have constant rest and your worries will pass.
47. You will never appreciate real peace until you've gone through a big storm.
48. Real men do dishes.
49. Ninety percent of getting anything worthwhile done is showing up.
50. It's hard to hang onto a smooth rope. God puts knots in our cord so we can have a place to hold on.
2. Love is patient, love is kind, but it's also messy and really hard. A good man will let it change him.
3. A free phone, a free month, and a free horse are never free.
4. It doesn't take much to encourage someone. And it takes even less to discourage them.
5. It's a mistake to base what you do on your worst critic, your biggest fan, or a focus group. Be who you were made to be, not who someone thinks you should be.
6. There are three things that are too wonderful for me, four that I do not understand: A good dog, a loving wife, children who obey, and an honest mechanic.
7. The goal of my life is not perfection, it's participation.
8. Love means never having to admit that your wife was wrong.
9. Those who suck on the straw of life get a lot more out of it than those who blow into it.
10. Sometimes the worst thing I could have is to get what I want.
11. If you have to buy the protection plan, don't buy it.
12. Drive the speed limit and you'll never worry about how much the speeding ticket is going to cost.
13. Struggle is not the sign of illness or death, it's a sign of life.
14. Left to itself, the human heart will always settle for something less than that which will truly satisfy.
15. There is no problem, no diagnosis, no hurt or pain or mountain that is bigger than God.
16. Invest your time, don't just spend it. Saying no to something will allow you to say yest to something later.
17. Faith is not understanding everything God is doing. Faith is trusting that what he is doing is good and will result in glory to him.
18. Love is a lot like living in the desert. There will be times of rain and cool. But most of the time it's hot and your garbage stinks.
19. Life is not about reaching my dreams and goals, it's about discovering God's plan and purpose.
20. Time with your children is never wasted.
21. Loss and pain force you to choose between bitter and better.
22. When I work to control my life, I get further behind in following Jesus.
23. The key to the abundant life is forgiveness. It's a choice to make every day.
24. It's a good thing to cry. It shows you're human and connected.
25. It's okay to let people down, make mistakes, and fail because it proves you're trying. Life is not about getting everything right.
26. Loving someone doesn't always mean you make them happy. And being loved doesn't always mean that you're happy.
27. God doesn't need my ability. He desires availability. My greatest mission is submission to him.
28. God doesn't want to resurface my life and make it smoother. He wants to dig it up, make it new, and change directions.
29. Money and possessions are like weeds in life's garden. Give as much away as you can.
30. Sometimes progress looks like death.
31. Humility and self-deprecation are miles apart.
32. If Jesus never hurried, I don't have to.
33. Making your kids do what is right is not parenting. Training them to choose what is right is.
34. Doctors don't know everything and neither do I.
35. I have no relatives in England or Africa who have died and left me money.
36. Beware of these three words, spoken to you on the street, after dark. "Excuse me, sir?"
37. Invest in people not things.
38. A coward uses his wife as the reason for making a decision.
39. Monogomy is the most sexy thing you can do.
40. A good marriage can look like a bad marriage for awhile.
41. The people who wound are wounded themselves.
42. The end of the chapter does not determine the end of the book.
43. There will be no homeowner's association in heaven.
44. I cannot live my life for another's agenda. My greatest test will be to discern God's agenda from my own.
45. When I feel blue in my soul, it's because I have not understood that prayer is the breath of the Christian.
46. If you live by fear, you will never rest. But if you live in freedom, you'll have constant rest and your worries will pass.
47. You will never appreciate real peace until you've gone through a big storm.
48. Real men do dishes.
49. Ninety percent of getting anything worthwhile done is showing up.
50. It's hard to hang onto a smooth rope. God puts knots in our cord so we can have a place to hold on.
June 21, 2011
The Divorce
I did something yesterday, said goodbye to something that I hadn't planned. It's a divorce, in a lot of ways. I think it's a sign of health because I haven't been able to even consider doing this in the last two years. There were just too many things bigger than car insurance.
However, over the weekend things came to a head. Perhaps it was the cost of the new 6 month premium I finally got the nerve to open. Or it could have been the phone call I received from a young man at the insurance agency, the one with such boyish excitement in his voice.
"Mr. Fabry, I think I've found a way to save you a TON of money." He emphasized the TON part. Twice. Like it was GINORMOUS. I would be able to buy a boat, a new sleep number bed, or perhaps fill my gas tank.
"Really?" I said. "Tell me about it."
We went over my policies, my 5 cars, the cash cow that is my life. Insurance companies salivate when they see me driving down the street. I get mail from them every day. President Palmer from 24, the little Gecco, the lady in the nurse outfit, they all come to my door like Jehovah's Witnesses.
"Looks like we can save you $250 if you buy a new life insurance policy. It's a new program in the last year."
Really? I need to buy something else in order to save a TON? Something seemed GINORMOUSLY wrong with that picture. And why was I just getting the call now? I've been with this insurance company a long time. I started buying insurance from them in 1982, if I'm not mistaken. That's 28+ years. Does anybody stay with a company that long?
This company followed us from West Virginia to Illinois to Colorado to Arizona. But in actuality, I followed them. It was easier to stay with them because they had our records in their system. Call it lazy. I usually shop around, but I liked their commercials on TV, the color of the logo, the catchphrase, and the ease of writing their name on my check.
In the last 28+ years we've never had an accident. At least not one they covered. I backed into my daughter's car in our driveway and smashed the door. That was on me they said. My son dinged another man's car at Walmart. "You'd be a lot better off taking care of that yourself," my agent said. "Your premium would just go up."
I think we actually got a windshield or two in 28 years. And more than a couple of tows. But when we had our house problem in Colorado, the little one where we lost everything because of toxic mold, when we really needed answers, we found the insurance company didn't have any. Or money. Zero. It was a pat on the back, "Sorry that happened," and new premiums in the mail. My agent in Colorado, a man who attended a mega-church in town, said the equivalent of, "Be warmed and filled." He spoke with compassion but said mold was excluded on the policy. There was actually $5,000 worth of coverage but because it was a "slow leak," we were denied.
Sigh. I don't blame him. The industry got smart to mold about the same time we began having the problem. We had a contract and the contract excluded our problem. But I couldn't help feeling troubled by hearing platitudes. I wonder if I would have handled it any differently if I sold insurance? I wonder if I've said the same thing in other ways?
I don't for a second think this new company will be any better. It'll just be cheaper. And have a new logo. And for now, not ask me to buy a life insurance policy to reduce my auto insurance. And pay about 1/3 of what I was paying for 28+ years to my long-term friends.
I've tried hard to keep bitterness from this divorce. I've waited a long time to make a rational and not a hasty decision. A decision based on clear-headed thinking that protects the ones I love and helps me be a good steward of the funds entrusted to me. It's a healthy move. And I have a TON of hope about the future.
On this first day of summer, I'm not bitter. I'm just enthusiastic.
However, over the weekend things came to a head. Perhaps it was the cost of the new 6 month premium I finally got the nerve to open. Or it could have been the phone call I received from a young man at the insurance agency, the one with such boyish excitement in his voice.
"Mr. Fabry, I think I've found a way to save you a TON of money." He emphasized the TON part. Twice. Like it was GINORMOUS. I would be able to buy a boat, a new sleep number bed, or perhaps fill my gas tank.
"Really?" I said. "Tell me about it."
We went over my policies, my 5 cars, the cash cow that is my life. Insurance companies salivate when they see me driving down the street. I get mail from them every day. President Palmer from 24, the little Gecco, the lady in the nurse outfit, they all come to my door like Jehovah's Witnesses.
"Looks like we can save you $250 if you buy a new life insurance policy. It's a new program in the last year."
Really? I need to buy something else in order to save a TON? Something seemed GINORMOUSLY wrong with that picture. And why was I just getting the call now? I've been with this insurance company a long time. I started buying insurance from them in 1982, if I'm not mistaken. That's 28+ years. Does anybody stay with a company that long?
This company followed us from West Virginia to Illinois to Colorado to Arizona. But in actuality, I followed them. It was easier to stay with them because they had our records in their system. Call it lazy. I usually shop around, but I liked their commercials on TV, the color of the logo, the catchphrase, and the ease of writing their name on my check.
In the last 28+ years we've never had an accident. At least not one they covered. I backed into my daughter's car in our driveway and smashed the door. That was on me they said. My son dinged another man's car at Walmart. "You'd be a lot better off taking care of that yourself," my agent said. "Your premium would just go up."
I think we actually got a windshield or two in 28 years. And more than a couple of tows. But when we had our house problem in Colorado, the little one where we lost everything because of toxic mold, when we really needed answers, we found the insurance company didn't have any. Or money. Zero. It was a pat on the back, "Sorry that happened," and new premiums in the mail. My agent in Colorado, a man who attended a mega-church in town, said the equivalent of, "Be warmed and filled." He spoke with compassion but said mold was excluded on the policy. There was actually $5,000 worth of coverage but because it was a "slow leak," we were denied.
Sigh. I don't blame him. The industry got smart to mold about the same time we began having the problem. We had a contract and the contract excluded our problem. But I couldn't help feeling troubled by hearing platitudes. I wonder if I would have handled it any differently if I sold insurance? I wonder if I've said the same thing in other ways?
I don't for a second think this new company will be any better. It'll just be cheaper. And have a new logo. And for now, not ask me to buy a life insurance policy to reduce my auto insurance. And pay about 1/3 of what I was paying for 28+ years to my long-term friends.
I've tried hard to keep bitterness from this divorce. I've waited a long time to make a rational and not a hasty decision. A decision based on clear-headed thinking that protects the ones I love and helps me be a good steward of the funds entrusted to me. It's a healthy move. And I have a TON of hope about the future.
On this first day of summer, I'm not bitter. I'm just enthusiastic.
June 14, 2011
Dad Thoughts
I'm going to be on Nancy Turner's program this Friday, if everything works out, and I had some thoughts about my own father. Nancy asked a few people to think of three things:
A memory of Dad
Advice to other Dads
Scripture about Dad
MEMORY
My father was a hard worker. He was employed at Union Carbide and worked full time there, plus he ran the farm. We had cattle and he cut hay and planted several gardens. I was SOOOO different than my dad. He was a hands in the earth kinda guy and I was writing songs and poems and stories and dressing up my dog and taking pictures.
My strongest memory of us together is what I wrote about in Dogwood. Throwing the ball back and forth at twilight, listening to the Cincinnati Reds games on the radio. Back and forth, from my hand to his glove to his hand to my glove…we didn't say anything. We didn't have to.
ADVICE
I heard some really good advice from John Fuller the other day—he has a new book called First Time Dad. John said that you don't have to be the fun dad all the time. You don't have to take your kids to a movie or the arcade or the amusement park every weekend. Take them to the hardware store to pick up light bulbs. Take them with you when you run errands. The quality time will come out in the quantity time. Driving to school can be a great time to connect or just be with each other. You don't have to be "fun" to give your kids something that lasts.
Another memory--when my dad would go to the feed store in town the guy behind the counter would always say, "Who you got with you today, Robert?"
"That's my helper," he would say.
It was such a good feeling to be a helper, even if I couldn't do anything to really help.
SCRIPTURE
Col 3:23-24 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
My father lived that verse, whether it was fixing the tractor, mowing the yard, butchering cattle. There was just this free-wheeling joy of work that permeated his life, and to him, sweating was living. The hay dust…I would hate getting hay dust on my sweaty neck and down my back. He loved jumping into something and just doing it.
I am different. But I caught his passion in doing everything for God's glory and in a lot of ways it permeates what I do now.
A memory of Dad
Advice to other Dads
Scripture about Dad
MEMORY
My father was a hard worker. He was employed at Union Carbide and worked full time there, plus he ran the farm. We had cattle and he cut hay and planted several gardens. I was SOOOO different than my dad. He was a hands in the earth kinda guy and I was writing songs and poems and stories and dressing up my dog and taking pictures.
My strongest memory of us together is what I wrote about in Dogwood. Throwing the ball back and forth at twilight, listening to the Cincinnati Reds games on the radio. Back and forth, from my hand to his glove to his hand to my glove…we didn't say anything. We didn't have to.
ADVICE
I heard some really good advice from John Fuller the other day—he has a new book called First Time Dad. John said that you don't have to be the fun dad all the time. You don't have to take your kids to a movie or the arcade or the amusement park every weekend. Take them to the hardware store to pick up light bulbs. Take them with you when you run errands. The quality time will come out in the quantity time. Driving to school can be a great time to connect or just be with each other. You don't have to be "fun" to give your kids something that lasts.
Another memory--when my dad would go to the feed store in town the guy behind the counter would always say, "Who you got with you today, Robert?"
"That's my helper," he would say.
It was such a good feeling to be a helper, even if I couldn't do anything to really help.
SCRIPTURE
Col 3:23-24 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
My father lived that verse, whether it was fixing the tractor, mowing the yard, butchering cattle. There was just this free-wheeling joy of work that permeated his life, and to him, sweating was living. The hay dust…I would hate getting hay dust on my sweaty neck and down my back. He loved jumping into something and just doing it.
I am different. But I caught his passion in doing everything for God's glory and in a lot of ways it permeates what I do now.
June 3, 2011
Picture of the Week
I described a picture of Charlie Brown and Snoopy on the radio this week. Both of them sitting by a lake and being pals. A listener sent me this photo of her and her dog. Peaceful and full of joy.
That's a good way to end this week. Hope you have someone you can share a good moment with today.
cf
That's a good way to end this week. Hope you have someone you can share a good moment with today.cf
