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The speech Lupita Nyong’o gave [vid]

THE SUBJECT OF COLORISM — intra-racial discrimination of dark-skinned people of color — really hits home for me. I’ve been tied up in its grasp, a light-skinned black girl aware of her privilege but not yet mature enough to know the causes or implications. I’ve also witnessed it with my teenaged students in Martinique. In one English lesson, we were teaching them to describe physical characteristics and personality traits, and I came up with the idea to have them write out dating profiles explaining what they were looking for in a date.

The first thing a lot of them said was “Chabin” or “chabine” — a French colonial term for someone who has lighter skin, though not necessarily biracial. It seemed to be a stand in for “attractive.” Even more striking is that this seemed to outweigh personality traits like “sense of humour” or “intelligent.” Of course, these were hormonal teenagers, but light skin as a trope for attractiveness is a recurring theme in the Caribbean — and many former colonial societies.

In countries with a history of slavery and colonialism, skin tone stratification placed those with a light skin tone in a higher class than those with a darker skin tone, which has led to an internalization of European standards of beauty.

It’s easy to watch Lupita Nyong’o on the big screen and say, “Look how far we’ve come,” but critics have suggested that, had she not been catapulted into the Hollywood A-List via 12 Years a Slave, few would be discussing her beauty. Some have even said that an African-American director wouldn’t have even cast her in the role.

The fact of the matter is that we still have to talk about race, and until we’ve transcended those discussions, we won’t have arrived. Lupita’s speech is another step in the right direction — she talks about humanity and inner beauty. An understanding of that is for more than just little black girls — or even every little girl. It’s for everyone. Spirit is universal.

The post The speech Lupita Nyong’o gave at the Black Women in Hollywood Luncheon is about more than skin color appeared first on Matador Network.

7 Google autocomplete world maps

Photo: Genista

A cool trend started a little while back where people would type “why is [place] so…” or “[place] is…” into Google and wait to see what Google’s autocomplete function would supply. There are now maps of autocompletes for every single country on Earth, and what we search for when we search for countries is extremely telling about what we think of each of the places.

It is of course a little bit reductive to have an entire country reduced to a single word or phrase — and sometimes it’s just straight up insulting — but there’s definitely something to learn from these. Since we’ve seen them done for virtually every place in the world, we thought we’d compile all of them into a single place, and since I’m an American, I’m going to start with the United States.

The United States

(Via)

I’m particularly pleased to see that my home state of Ohio is “Why is Ohio so important?” This is probably a reference to our role in national elections, where we basically pick the United States President every time, but I’m going to choose to just assume we’re super important. The best by far is “Why is Connecticut so haunted?” and Louisiana and Tennessee have some public relations work they need to start doing.

Canadian provinces

(Via)

Really, guys? “Cold”? Because it’s Canada, that’s why. God.

The Americas

(Via)

This is by far my favorite map, because it checks the autocomplete in both Spanish and English. The difference between the two is huge: Canada, for example, has the mildly insulting “Why is Canada a country?” in English, and the slightly baffling “Why is Canada a developed country?” in Spanish. My guess is that this is basically asking why, unlike virtually every other country in the Americas, Canada doesn’t have serious poverty issues, and also hasn’t been completely messed up by US foreign policy.

The English speakers lack a bit of imagination for most of Central and South America, though: “Why is [place] so poor?” is a super boring question, people. You have the whole internet at your fingertips! Ask more interesting questions!

Europe

(Via)

Another map with too many “poor’s” on it, the most interesting autocompletes for Europe are “Why is France so gay?” and “Why is Spain so empty?”

I get the France question, because look: Americans and Brits are kinda dicks about the French. We go out of our way to portray them as effeminate, overly intellectual, or, you know, as mimes, so it seems natural that we’d be shitty and homophobic about them on Google. I completely don’t get the Spain question, though. Is Spain even remotely empty?

Ireland is super green, though.

Asia

(Via)

The Asia autocompletes officially have the dumbest question: “Why is Mongolia so small?” It’s the 19th largest country in the world (out of around 200), so I can only assume people ask this because it’s sandwiched between Russia and China, two of the biggest countries in the world, so they’re asking why it’s not relatively bigger. Other favorites include “Why is Azerbaijan in Eurovision?” and “Why are the Maldives so vulnerable to climate change?”

The answer is because they’re, like, four feet above sea level at their highest point, Google, and we’re basically turning them into Atlantis, but I think this might be the most intelligent question we get out of autocomplete across the board.

Oceania

(Via)

I’ve always wondered why Kiribati is pronounced “Kiribas.” And apparently we think a lot of Oceania is “sinking.” They’re less “sinking,” people, and more staying exactly where they are as we suicidally raise the level of the sea.

Africa

(Via)

Well, you all expected this one. The rest of the world is spectacularly unimaginative about Africa, so naturally the sole thing we fixate on is poverty. If that’s not a reason to promote further travel there, I can’t think of what is.

The post What does Google autocomplete think of your country? appeared first on Matador Network.

11 epic winter adventures in Utah

1. Scale a frozen waterfall.

Ice climbing in Provo Canyon, Utah. Photo: Billy Gast

It shouldn’t surprise anybody that the state with The Greatest Snow on Earth® also has some of the best ice around. Ice climbing season in Utah generally runs from December to February and has become so popular that there are several tour guides and clinics operating throughout the season for beginners, which is a lot better than the YouTube lessons most aspiring climbers are left with in less icy states.

Provo Canyon, south of Salt Lake City, is covered in ice on both sides. Thanks to its easy proximity to a variety of different routes, including many easier approaches for newbie climbers, it’s one of the most popular climbing destinations in Utah. Stairway to Heaven, the tallest climb in the area, is a multi-pitch behemoth that can reach heights of 800ft — more approachable climbs include Miller’s Thriller, Picture Window, and Bridal Veil Falls.

Utah Mountain Adventures can help you with the scariest part of your climb — the cost of all the equipment. They’ve put together a short list of rental shops in the area, which includes notes on what you want to make sure you have with you.

2. Channel your inner Jamaican at the Olympic Park.

The bobsledding kind, I mean. At Utah’s Olympic Park, near Park City, visitors can hop in a bobsled while a pro pilot takes them down the entire length of the actual 2002 Olympic track. That’s 15 full-throttle turns, up to 5 Gs of force, and speeds of about 80mph. This isn’t some rejuvenating, casual-afternoon break from skiing or snowboarding — careening down the track in a tin can is, unsurprisingly, hard work, even when your primary duty is just to sit up and hold on for dear life.

The Olympic Park also has a shorter, slower skeleton sled option (just a harmless 50mph, head-first), ziplines that shoot you over the edge of the K120 nordic ski jump, plus the ever-popular sit-and-watch-the-actual-Olympians-train attraction (that one’s free).

3. Ski or snowboard uphill while attached to a kite.

Who needs lift tickets (or even a downhill slope) when you can propel yourself through waist-deep powder, powered by Mother Nature herself?

At 10,000′ elevation, Skyline Drive in Sanpete County is hands-down the most popular place for snowkiting in the state. “Popular,” in this case, means that you might see the same 15-or-so hardcore devotees’ colorful kites somewhere out there on the massive horizon. The terrain off Skyline Drive includes miles and miles of ridgelines, cornices, wind lips, and even a few manmade terrain park features, mixed in with vast expanses of flat, gently sloped terrain. The high elevation, abundant snowfall, and windy weather combine to make this region the only spot around where the ambitious can cover 100 miles on skis or a snowboard in a single day without a chairlift interrupting the ride or having to burn up a tank of gas to do it.

See more: 8 ways Salt Lake City’s ‘snow culture’ makes skiing a way of life

Take I-15 south out of Salt Lake City to Highway 89 and continue south to Fairview (mandatory stop at Home Plate Cafe to fuel up on biscuits and gravy), then jump on 31 going east to mile marker 14, where you’ll see a plowed out parking lot and launch area. Hook up there with Utah Snowkite Center for lesson packages that include an intro to the equipment. You laugh now (who needs kite-flying lessons?), but when you get lifted 10 feet off the ground, you’ll see just how powerful even these little training kites can be.

4. Get airlifted to the slopes.

Wasatch Powder Guides runs heli-ski (or snowboard) tours directly from Snowbird or Canyons resorts, which means you can hop in a helicopter as soon as the resorts get tracked out to be shuttled to another few thousand square miles of never-been-touched dry Utah pow. WPG tours average about 30,000 vertical feet per day, rarely repeating a line for 7 hours straight, and has permits to air-drop you at the best spots (they choose terrain based on your personal ability levels and whims) in the Wasatch and Uintas.

For the non-ballers out there, cat-skiing is usually less than half the price, but is just as convenient, feels almost as fancy, and still gives you all kinds of bragging rights to your friends back home. Park City Powder Cats operates out of Thousand Peaks Ranch, where they’ve cordoned off their own “private ski resort” that’s bigger than Whistler, Vail, Mammoth, and Snowbird combined. They cover their 40,000 acres of terrain in fancy, heated, 10-seat snowcats, where you can thaw out and grab some snacks between runs. A snack-wagon to powder-filled bowls, epic tree runs through the aspens, and steep lines of unbroken powder? Absolutely worth doing at least once in your life.

5. Snowshoe in a national park.

Snowshoeing in Utah. Photo: Eric Ward

I didn’t always understand the appeal of snowshoeing. But one day trip out on those giant, unwieldy contraptions and I’m a convert. Once you get snowshoes on your feet, you’re adventure-ready and able to access terrain, peaks, and views you could never otherwise reach without sinking up to your bellybutton in snow.

Combine that with Bryce Canyon National Park during a full moon for a lift-ticket-free adventure that can’t be recreated anywhere in the world. Guides take you down into the snowy canyon (no flashlights allowed), where you can wander around in the shadows of the hoodoos and other iconic Utah rock formations. The guided 1-2 mile hikes are completely free (even the snowshoes and poles are included) and begin just before dusk, so you can watch all the colors change in the canyon, and get all teary-eyed about the majestic-ness of it all.

6. Soak in a geothermal cave.

It’s up for debate whether or not the minerals in geothermal waters have health benefits or if they’re just fancy dirt, but the environment at Homestead Crater in Midway sounds just mystical enough to suspend disbelief for the day. When you walk into the cavern and start heading deeper toward the crater, it feels and looks a lot like you’re tunneling into the center of the Earth.

The geothermal pool is deep in a 55ft-tall beehive-ish rock with a little hole at the top that lets sunshine in and hot breath out. The 90-96 degree mineral water inside is crystal clear and super deep, making it one of the coolest places (actually, it’s the only warm water scuba spot in the continental Unites States) for year-round scuba diving in the US. If you’re not into diving down into the depths of the Earth, you can stay near the surface with a snorkel, where the sun that pours in from the opening at the top of the rock hits the mineral water and creates a sapphire blue effect. They also have a sectioned-off soaking area and occasionally host stand-up paddle board yoga sessions.

7. Snowmobile at Scofield/Skyline Drive

Admit it — when you see a glittery patch of untouched snow, you just want to get in there and mess it all up. The Scofield/Skyline Drive Snowmobile Complex in the Manti-La Sal Mountains of central Utah has over 120 miles of groomed trails for cruising, and access to plenty of snowdrifts and open meadows for thrashing.

Sledding through the backcountry gets you a lot closer to nature than riding a chairlift. Even while clinging to the handlebars of a gas-powered machine, there’s a big-hearted appreciation for your surroundings that’s contagious the second you hit the throttle, whether it’s to cruise down a groomed track between the trees or to tear through some fresh Utah powder in a wide-open bowl with your mouth smiling so wide the fronts of your teeth get cold.

Snowmobiling in Utah. Photo: Steve Jurvetson

8. Sit atop a frozen lake.

Channel your inner Inuit with a winter fishing session on top of a frozen lake. Ice fishing is one of the quietest and least cell-service-friendly adventures you can find during a Utah winter that you can still rationalize as being “productive.” Utah’s frozen waters yield a fish-market-like variety of quality (read: delicious) fish and often (if you drill wisely) at a rapid-fire pace that’s a lot more exciting than lazy summer days by the lake. So while everyone else is raiding their meat freezers or hunkering down in front of some sad winter veggies, you get to ski home with the freshest fish in town.

In the Uintas, you can pick from a number of different lakes to snowmobile, XC-ski, or snowshoe to, most of which will be all yours once you’ve settled in. Fishing up near the Wyoming/Utah border is a whole different story, with monster-sized fish like burbot, kokanee salmon, and some big ol’ lake trout lurking under the ice. Flaming Gorge holds a Burbot Bash every winter, where you can win prizes for helping to control the population of the illegally planted, garbage-disposal-like giants before they eat everything in the reservoir.

9. Practice tricks without rupturing your spleen.

It might feel weird to drive past nondescript warehouses — in the exact opposite direction of the 11 ski resorts within a one-hour radius of the SLC airport — for a park session. But then you walk into the doors at Snogression, one of Salt Lake City’s newest and most progression-focused trampoline gyms, and you’ll be stoked to save your lift ticket cash for when you’re actually ready to land one of the tricks you’re about to learn.

Snogression has four Olympic-sized trampolines that’ll fling you high enough into the air for you to safely practice crazy moves like double corks and get you feeling more comfortable upside-down in the air. There are also a couple of foam pits (including one that you can launch into via a proprietary tow-in system and a ramp with a fake snow surface), a jib area, and a skateboard mini-pipe.

Newbies will have to take a Basics Class (about $35 for two hours), which will teach you how to learn new tricks safely and give you a bit of time on every single feature, before graduating to uncoached two-hour park sessions.

10. Hit the backcountry.

Wasatch backcountry skiing. Photo: Will Wissman

There’s no need for a lift ticket if you’re willing to earn your turns, and the mountains in Utah don’t end at resort boundaries.

Little Cottonwood Canyon, home of Snowbird and Alta, has insanely easy access to some of the best backcountry in the state. There are several trailheads to choose from, but the easiest to find is White Pine, just down the road from the resorts on Highway 210. Once you start skinning or hiking up the old 4-wheel-drive road, White Pine Gulch branches off to several other routes — all of which are rewarded with satisfying, well-earned pow.

There’s a parking lot at the White Pine trailhead where you can plan your route, double check your equipment, and do some stretches as you muster the courage for the ascent. Head up White Pine Gulch until you hit the fork in the trail. Turn right for Red Pine (the Pink Pine Ridge is epic for trees!), or stay on the main trail to the left toward White Baldy.

Warning: This isn’t just a way to cheap out on the cost of a lift ticket. Utah’s backcountry will destroy you if you don’t know what you’re doing. Take an avalanche safety course and make sure you have all the right equipment, which at the very least means a (working!) beacon, shovel, probe, and a friend who likes you enough to try to save your life in an emergency situation. And you’d better be willing and prepared to do the same in return.

11. Experience yurt life in the Uinta Mountains.

The adventure begins at the trailhead, 10.5 miles up the Mirror Lake Highway from Kamas. The TUNA yurt is just about three trail miles away in Norway Flats, making it amenable to novice yurt-ists and overpackers. While The Utah Nordic Alliance (TUNA) keeps the yurt stocked with firewood and some cooking supplies, you’re still going to have to pack-in/pack-out all your food, gear, and supplies, making accessibility a bonus. Dragging your load behind you on a sled or hauling it on your back might be hard work, but once you’re out in the isolated wilderness under the aspens and pines, you’ll be reminded why you bothered in the first place.

The yurt is surrounded by powder stashes in every direction for ski touring, snowshoeing, and glade skiing, but there’s no shame in just sitting outside with a couple brews or a hot cup of tea in front of the 8,600ft view for hours at a time. An extended stay in a wilderness yurt is an exercise in single-tasking, and it’s easy to fall into a comfortable routine completely isolated from your non-yurt life. Wake with the sun, go outside and explore, eat, drink, dry the wet stuff by the stove, repeat.

Welcome to winter in Utah.

This post is brought to you by Utah, home of The Greatest Snow On Earth®. With 11 ski resorts less than an hour from Salt Lake City International Airport, there’s plenty of powder for the perfect ski vacation.

The post 11 epic winter adventures in Utah that don’t require a lift ticket appeared first on Matador Network.

Russia turns off Oscars

JARED LETO picked up the award for best supporting actor for his role in Dallas Buyers Club’s at Sunday’s Oscars. His acceptance speech has been deemed one of the most perfect and gracious award acceptances to date. Leto is the first actor to ever acknowledge two current world events dominating the international media.

In his speech Leto offered a message of support to the people of Ukraine and protesters in Venezuela. Leto said:

To all the dreamers out there around the world watching this tonight in places like the Ukraine and Venezuela, I want to say we are here and as you struggle to … to make your dreams happen, to live the impossible…we’re thinking of you tonight.

Reporters backstage caught up with Leto and he offered reasoning for his comment:

“Number one, because it’s important to me, Number two, because I think it’s appropriate to the material, to the story, to the film. And number three, because you have an opportunity when you stand on this stage. You can make it about yourself or you can hold up a mirror and shine a light, and that’s what I chose to do tonight. I mean, because of Thirty Seconds to Mars, because I’m in a band, how many people are here from outside of the — of the USA? Quite a few of you. Okay. Good. I’m at home then. But I feel at home all over the world. And you know, for me, these global issues impact us in a really direct way.

“We have a show in the Ukraine in a couple of weeks,” Leto said. “We have a show in Thailand in a few weeks. We had a show in Venezuela in the works. So, these things, social unrest, you know, social issues like this affect us in a really immediate way. So, I felt on behalf of the people that I interact with on Instagram and Twitter and Facebook, and my own interests as, you know, a global — being a person in a global band, it was important to address those things.”

Unfortunately for the people of Russia, the state-controlled network Channel One cancelled it’s live coverage of the ceremony in order, they claim, to allow news space to the crisis in Ukraine.

In a statement, Channel One said: “Due to the large amount of news concerning the situation in Crimea and Ukraine, and the audience’s rising interest in news programs, Channel One considers it impossible to air the Oscars ceremony for five hours, particularly in the morning.”

The spokesperson added that a recorded version of the awards would be aired on Tuesday.

Critics of Russia’s propaganda on state channels have suggested that the cancellation of the ceremony was politically motivated.

The Guardian reports that Channel One “reaches 99% of Russian households and pulls in a 19% audience share. State-owned broadcasters have been unwavering in their support of president Vladimir Putin’s intervention in Ukraine’s Crimea peninsula, which has a majority Russian population.”

Further allegations have proclaimed when the broadcast was finally shown, Leto’s comments were dubbed over to remove mention of Ukraine.

The post This compassionate speech got the Oscars shut off in Russia appeared first on Matador Network.

5 ways to get arrested in Zimbabwe

Photo: Anais Gómez-C

I cycled by the President’s house for the first time the other day, my bike indiscreetly grinding metal against metal like a blacksmith. Passing the bayonets of one of the soldiers out front, I wondered what they would make of a clown on a unicycle effortlessly cruising along the well-guarded path. I imagined the patchwork joker would end up where most clowns end up after a hard day’s work: alone with their makeup running in a cold dark room.

Extremes aside, whether we suffer as a nation from a colonial hangover, with policemen projectile vomiting rigid laws onto the potholed streets, or we speak in tongues because our freedoms have been sacrificed in exchange for the power of a few, there are some downright classic ways to get arrested in the beautiful city of Harare.

Disclaimer: If you do manage to get arrested in Harare City Centre or elsewhere in Zimbabwe, Matador holds you solely responsible for lacking the sarcasm levels required to consume such articles.

1. Get a large piece of cardboard and a Magic Marker.

Write a combination of the following words in some kind of order:

“Freedom”
“Justice”
“Protest”
“Rights”

Once you’ve done this, see if you can last more than six minutes in the centre of town before you get joined by baton-bearing police. Explain to them this is a “peaceful demonstration” (two words they may find difficult to stomach and react to with a swift fist to the gut). The Zimbabwean armed forces lost their humour when it comes to peaceful demonstrations some time ago. Protest is so 1998.

2. Get a few selfies!

Why not head downtown and take a few shots of yourself and some of the city sights? If you want to get action shots, go to Mupedzanhamo in Mbare, the beating heart of secondhand bargains and crowds, with a proven track record of hostility towards cameras.

Take along your hefty photographic apparel and you’ll probably get descended upon by inquisitive and paranoid members of the public before the police arrive. When they do, calm the situation by telling them you’re just an amateur journalist from the UK. With the soured relations between the ex-colonial power and Zimbabwe’s current government still palpable, that statement should go down horribly well. Expect a prolonged stay in Central Police Station.

3. Kiss your partner with all the passion you can harvest.

If you’re overwhelmed by the pull you feel towards the love of your life — and danger in equal measure — go for a walk around the city. Land on the pedestrianized First Street and lock eyes, form a tight embrace. and start kissing each other with as much tongue as Jabba the Hutt indulging in foreplay with an ice cream.

Yoh! We have become such a conservative society that public displays of affection aren’t just looked down upon but, rather, acted upon by cops. Your transgression will no doubt lead to a swift public indecency charge. You’re more likely to get arrested for showing love than for pissing your name onto the walls of Town House.

4. Share a smoke.

A recent quirk in the Zimbabwean legal system is the strict approach to the roadside vending of ‘loose’ or single cigarettes.

A stock image of life in Zimbabwean cities is vendors perched behind makeshift cardboard tables littered with an assortment of cigarettes, vegetables, and biscuits. However, the vending of loose cigarettes has been deemed illegal and punishable by arrest. One friend heard of two smokers in his neighbourhood who were arrested for sharing the clandestinely purchased stick of tobacco and rushed off for a scolding at the station.

5. Drive without a license.

Just kidding, that you can get away with. Cops accept US$20 notes as a temporary permit. [image error]

This post was originally published in a different form at Kalabash.

The post 5 fun ways to get arrested in Zimbabwe appeared first on Matador Network.

Every border is a crime against humanity

Photo: Denise Krebs

Nationality is a strange thing. To think that one’s identity would be so thoroughly set by geography rather than self-determination may be a disquieting thought for some, but even the most rebellious would admit that love it or hate it, your country is a big part of who you are.

We’re not all the same, of course. There’s enough variety among the citizens of even the smallest of countries to keep things interesting. But there’s very little that cultural heritage doesn’t impact, with everything from accents to politics getting shaped by geography.

Which is why it’s so weird to think about how accidental it all is.

Do we really choose our identity?

None of us chose our country of origin. It was entirely out of our little baby-sized hands. And even those who eventually find an adoptive new home are likely to be influenced by circumstances of their home country, such as a shared language or legal issues.

And this is to say nothing of how realistic the opportunity to relocate was in the first place. Citizens of developed countries have the luxury of being capable of relocating, and perhaps even more importantly, often have the luxury of being able to enjoy visa-free travel to their prospective new home, so they can sample the lifestyle ahead of time. Even getting a long-term visa is generally easier for citizens of Western countries than others.

And what’s more, these moves are generally more for pleasure than necessity, which is generally how it works for those in poorer regions, who leave their home to seek a better life. Yet it’s harder for them to gain stability than it is for us to go on vacation.

Maps will map your life.

The most egregious examples of this problem occur when the divisions are practically right next to each other. The Berlin Wall, the Iron Curtain, and every DMZ on the planet put up barriers that carve apart communities, with what can appear to be permanent effects.

Even without the specter of warfare, these walls exist. EU citizens travel visa-free all over the world, but if you were born in the Balkans, you’ve been clamoring for equality for decades. And it’s never about the people. Only their place of birth.

“Thanks, emperor so-and-so.”

Even worse, those borders are often arbitrary. The map of the world has been subjected so thoroughly to the whims of kings, queens, khans, sultans, and emperors, whose conquest-fueled rises to power have determined the fate of billions by relegating them to one side of the border or another. If one particular king had marched north instead of south, that border might have been entirely different, as would the lives of those caught in the wake.

Which is why every border on the planet is a crime against humanity.

Borders are bullshit anyway.

It’s not something we often think about. France is France, Peru is Peru. We’ve seen the same maps practically our entirely lives, with occasional changes here and there (mostly divisive, by the way). But it’s not often we think about how these borders were formed. If we did, we’d immediately realize it’s all rather silly.

Take a look at how thoroughly things have changed in Europe, just in the last 500 years:

Ever wonder why those lines are drawn the way they are? Most often, nonsense and warfare:

Poland was literally moved to the west in the aftermath of World War II, with entire cities switched from one nationality to the other, along with massive swathes of land.
The Pope divided South America between Portugal and Spain, thus determining the economic and linguistic fate of the entire continent. In an interesting side note, Portugal is now considering switching “official” Portuguese to the Brazilian dialect.
The Mongols nearly conquered Europe. They got all the way to the gates of Vienna, only turning back home for a funeral.
Australians only speak English because the British got to it first. It may very well have been China instead.
Speaking of China, they sailed all over the world, looking for cultures and civilizations as advanced as their own. They found none. Just before they got to Europe, an emperor destroyed all the long-distance ships because he assumed there was no point seeing what was out there. Then Europe came in and practically took over the entire place.
Spain is a huge mess. It has five different languages and obviously shouldn’t be a single country, except that changing it now might be even messier. It even used to include Portugal. Oh, and the Arabs used to rule the southern section. Plus there’s Gibraltar.
Austria and Germany are somehow two different countries. This would be weird, except for the fact that Germany used to be hundreds of countries. People at the time joked about how they had one country for every day of the year.
Bangladesh used to be East Pakistan. Yeah, that was totally gonna work out.
Italy used to be a mess of city-states and regional powers. If it weren’t for unification efforts, it would probably still be half a dozen different countries.
Russia sold Alaska to the United States. Imagine how weird it would be if Russia still had it.
Um, Tibet. Plus Xinjiang, Manchuria, and Taiwan. China even wanted Mongolia too, but the USSR said no.

And, as we know, most of the world map was drawn by colonial European powers. Those exactly-straight lines all over Africa? Thanks, England. That divide-and-conquer approach sure was nice of you. I’m sure nothing will go awkwardly when divisions are made without thought to geography, climate, language, or animal migration patterns or whatever. It’ll be just fine!

Why this rant? Well, it was sparked by a plain and simple predicament of a UK citizen trying to live in New Zealand. They wouldn’t let her. Apparently to extend your work visa you need to prove you can do a job that no New Zealander can. In other words, “no.”

I could go on, of course. Years ago I read of an American resident being deported to Cambodia over minor crimes. He left Cambodia as a baby, spent his whole life in America, only spoke English, and was shipped off to the other side of the planet, because that’s what happens to non-citizens who commit minor crimes. Sounds like a cruel and unusual punishment to me, but hey…America can be mean.

And then there’s the analysis of the international economic advantages of undaunted, worldwide social mobility, which indicates that eliminating all world borders would double global GDP. Imagine that

But for me, it’s mostly the issue of morality. Relegating billions to a geographically determined legal fate is, to me, indistinguishable from racism, anti-Semitism, homophobia, or sexism. It’s discrimination, plain and simple.

All you need is love!

I wonder if we’ll ever reach the point that we view humanity as a singular organization, a home team with no rival, entirely unified in our efforts at global development, scientific discovery, poverty reduction, and sustainability. To me, we’re all human. Plain and simple. We’d have cured cancer by now if we all felt the same way. And colonized the moon. And skipped over that whole slavery thing. And so on.

I like to think I’m optimistic about it. The Schengen agreement brought unrestricted travel to millions. More and more countries are joining cooperative economic unions. Southeast Asia is considering a unified tourist visa for all countries. I expect this sort of thing to continue, even if progress is slow. But I expect it will gradually unfold in our lifetimes.

We can get there, guys. No “us and them.” Just us. And it’ll be awesome. [image error]

This post was originally published at Snarky Nomad and is reprinted here with permission.

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Why every woman should check out the Women’s Travel Fest

MARCH 8, 2014 is set to be the first ever Women’s Travel Fest, an entire conference dedicated to the topic of women and travel. I’m super excited to attend this year, and celebrate the freedom I feel while traveling on my own. I spoke with Kelly Lewis, friend and creator of Go! Girl Guides, who is also the founder of the Women’s Travel Fest; here’s what she has to say about why this event is going to change the way women travel:

MN: So why a travel festival dedicated to women’s travel?

KL: I strongly believe that the world is mostly safe, and that people are mostly good, but there are so many women that I meet who are scared, or intimidated to travel the world. We need to change that! The Women’s Travel Fest aims to inspire and empower women to travel the world, and help them make newfound travel connections.

Women have unique concerns about their health & safety while traveling. The Women’s Travel Fest is a natural extension of my original business, Go! Girl Guides, which publishes the world’s first series of travel guidebooks made just for women. Last year, as I was moving to NYC, I went on a cross-country book tour for GGG where I was speaking to hundreds of women about the amazing transformative power of solo travel. The energy & the love that came from these talks was electrifying, and when I made it to New York, I knew it was time to do this on a bigger level. After meeting Mickela Mallozzi & Masha Vapnitchnaia, the Women’s Travel Fest was born. I can’t wait!

MN: What are some of the topics that will be covered during the Fest?

KL: Our speakers offer first-hand tips on everything, from traveling solo through the Middle East, to making the transition from solo travel to family travel. We’re also addressing simple things, like packing tips, and helpful apps for women on the road, as well as touching upon societal taboos: sexuality abroad, for example, or breaking free of the mold of “housewife” and “mother.” We’re going to show that travel can be as simple as booking a plane ticket — and then we’ll help you with everything that comes after.

MN: The speaker list looks awesome! How did you decide who to reach out to for this opportunity?

KL: The women who are speaking, from Travel Channel’s Samantha Brown, to author and activist Sarah Shourd (who spent 410 days in solitary confinement in prison in Iran after crossing an invisible border while hiking in Iraq), are inspiring, empowering, and everything we want the festival to embody.

When we began reaching out to speakers, we first made a list of topics we’d like to address, and then contacted experts in that field. We also thought about women who inspire us. I’m so humbled & honored to be sharing the stage with these incredible women!

MN: Are there any interactive elements? After parties? Cocktail, networking or lunch events?

KL: Lunch is included in the ticket price ($75), as is the cocktail hour. We have some incredible sponsors for the cocktail hour — Jameson will be doing a whisky tasting, Blue Point Brewery and Anheuser-Busch have donated beer and cider, Wine Awesomeness is donating some of their tasty wines, and the Curacao Tourist Board is setting up a Curacao and vodka specialty cocktail station.

The cocktail hour is a great way for women to interact and build newfound travel connections. We’re all about fostering new friendships and partnerships, and there will be plenty of opportunities for this throughout the day. When you get a group of 400 women who love travel together, magic just happens!

MN: Your number one travel tip for ladies is:

KL: Confidence is everything. Be cautious, not paranoid, be confident, and aware. Trust that people are mostly good and that angels are everywhere.

The aim of the Women’s Travel Fest is to help women to feel comfortable and confident enough to take on the world. We want to help them feel inspired, empowered and enthusiastic about travel. So I guess the message is: Watch out world, we’re comin’ atcha!

Tickets for the event can be purchased at WomensTravelFest.com, or by clicking here. Can’t make it to the Fest this year? Follow the event on Twitter and Facebook to see what people are saying about it online!

The post Why every woman should check out the Women’s Travel Fest appeared first on Matador Network.

9 signs you’re not in Kansas anymore

Photo: Niccolò Ubalducci

1. Tornado sirens catch people off guard.

Or you cringe because you find out your new locale is in fact so unprepared that they’ve neglected to install the life-saving horn blasters at all.

You’re accustomed to a routine, and you’ve learned not to stray from it. Sirens sound, check date and time to determine if it’s a monthly test, take a peek at the sky, head to the well-stocked mini-fridge and entertainment system in your basement with a flashlight, and turn on the news. Just another stormy night in Kansas.

Outside of Tornado Alley, your routine goes to pieces. Instead, you get panicked meteorologists, a lack of posted public safety plans, and the realization that architects outside of Kansas have yet to consider basements a necessity. When you’re enduring a freak storm without warning, huddled in an empty bathtub, you’ll be wishing you were back home again.

2. Everyone you meet wants to take you to the ocean.

Your actual proximity to the ocean doesn’t matter. Each time your Kansas roots come up in conversation, your new acquaintance will ask if you’ve ever laid eyes on the ocean. Before you have the chance to respond, they’ll already have decided that you, in fact, have not.

But don’t fret! This person is your saving grace, your light in a dark place, the answer to your life’s greatest questions. Because at this very moment they’re already planning your “first” trip to the beach, complete with a picnic lunch and $.99 kites from Walmart.

If everybody you meet starts to dream about their future YouTube fame when they catch you, a full-grown adult, on camera staring wide-eyed at the Atlantic for the very first time, you’re definitely not in Kansas anymore.

3. Your alma mater apparel is no longer acceptable for formal occasions.

Even if your t-shirt is fitted, your hoodie is straight-out-of-the-dryer fresh, and your alumni polo is made of particularly high-quality cotton, it won’t work for date night. It also won’t work for interview day, fancy office dinner evening, or social networking brunch.

Getting dressed is hard when you’re not in Kansas anymore.

4. The speed limit seems low, the driving age seems high.

Any posted speed limit under 75 will seem like child’s play. When you find yourself cheering at the sight of a sign sporting a 60 and it feels like you may be breaking the sound barrier, you know you’re not in Kansas anymore.

But then again, we Kansans have been driving since the age of 14. Maybe those extra couple years behind the wheel justify our amped speed limits on our perfectly paved, wide open roads.

5. You can’t find the sky.

Sunrise, sunset, midday, or dead of night, a Kansas sky never fails to make a statement. When you find yourself searching for a sliver of blue through the thick of trees, between mammoth buildings, or beyond towering mountains, you are most definitely not in Kansas anymore.

6. The courtesy wave has lost its meaning.

So all of a sudden you wave to a stranger and it’s “creepy.” Waving for someone to cross the street outside of a crosswalk is dangerous, and pausing to wave another car into traffic on a busy road will only elicit a contagious line of angry honking.

If you happen to be the driver of the vehicle in desperate need of a friendly traffic wave, unless you’re in Kansas, I hope you packed snacks.

7. You need to borrow a truck and no one has one.

Not everyone in Kansas drives a great big pickup truck with 4WD and owns an endless supply of tarps, bungees, and rope. But the important thing is that their neighbor, brother, friend, uncle, sister-in-law, or coworker does, and they’re always happy to share.

Move out of Kansas, and though you’ll still see trucks on the road, their owners are mythical creatures who only appear to you in dreams around the time you’re ready to move a houseful of furniture.

8. You’re constantly defending your education.

It won’t matter that you followed the lead of Kansans Clyde Cessna or Amelia Earhart and now engineer or pilot airplanes. It won’t matter that you’re studying to become a brain surgeon in the very place neurologist William Koller was successfully tackling symptoms of Parkinson’s disease. It won’t matter that you’re one of the nation’s brightest teachers, most sought-after veterinarians, or most cunning lawyers.

When you find yourself in a discussion about your Kansas education, there’s no need to dazzle your new companion with your academic achievements or superior knowledge in your field. They’ll likely be impressed simply to find out you can sing your ABCs.

9. Everybody keeps pointing out that “you’re not in Kansas anymore.”

Perhaps the most telltale sign your feet have left their home on the range are the incessant verbal reminders that “you’re not in Kansas anymore.”

But I concede, if I actually owned a pair of ruby slippers that could forever rid me of long layovers and TSA frisks, I might be less hostile about that stupid Dorothy reference. [image error]

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Powder for Powder, episode 2

This is episode 2 of a 5-part exclusive series, presented by Caldwell Collections and Matador Network. Learn more.

AS MY BROTHER YANCY AND I dug our camper out of 15 inches of fresh powder on Rogers Pass, BC, we asked ourselves why we were leaving this snowy paradise. But we’d committed to heading north through Banff National Park, up through the Yukon, and on to Alaska. Coming off a great winter season at home in Idaho, this was the second time we’d struggled with a departure. It’s hard to fathom leaving such fresh snow with only distant hopes that the stars might align for a successful Alaska trip. But with Arctic Man, Tailgate Alaska, and more heli time to film in Haines ahead of us, we refocused our eyes on the prize and reassured ourselves it would be worth the drive.

Just preparing to pull the trigger on a winter road trip up the Alaska-Canada Highway is a feat in itself. The 3,500-mile route winds through the enormous band of rugged earth that is British Columbia and the Yukon. Nasty road conditions can quickly turn the five-day push to Valdez, AK, into a few weeks. Roads will close, axles can snap, and whiteouts can make traveling with a large camper and sled trailer almost impossible. Enormous potholes, hidden frost heaves, and icy corners became our primary enemies as we slowly chugged along the ALCAN on our way to Valdez.

We prepped our truck-camper-trailer setup well and had no major hiccups despite the blizzard conditions for almost half the drive. At the whim of Mother Nature we camped out at Liard River Hot Springs, near Muncho Lake, BC, to wait out a storm and avoid the risk of slamming a buffalo while traveling at night. The hot water felt so good after several long, cold nights in the camper. Temps dropped to 30 below in Whitehorse, Yukon, and the air stung our faces as we slept.

After five days of driving, a new perspective is gained on how big North America actually is, and how vastly uninhabited the northern tundra and taiga are. This frozen wilderness makes up 27% of the world’s forests and is littered with stunted, Dr. Seuss-like conifers, five feet tall but 100+ years old, stretching all the way from Canada to Russia and Scandinavia. After another alpenglow sunset, and with the Northern Lights lighting up the sky, we finally caught sight of the ALASKAN border sign. A few high 5s later, and we were on the home stretch to Valdez.

Words and photos by Wyatt Caldwell; video by Yancy Caldwell.

1


On our first morning of the ALCAN drive, we woke up to 15 inches on Rogers Pass, BC. Here's Yancy taking in the blizzard view down valley before riding powder all the way to the camper door.





2


Conditions changed to bulebird skies after the crushing storm, shedding light on Banff National Park as we headed north.





3


Buffalo line the ALCAN Highway as they graze on shrubs the sun has melted out. They didn't seem to care that they are 2,000lb obstacles in the middle of the road!





Intermission





Powder for Powder, ep. 1: Monashee mission





Powder Highway road trip part 1: Storm riding in Fernie





Powder Highway road trip part 2: Bluebird in Kicking Horse












4


Taking in the view across Destruction Bay before attempting this frost-heave nightmare stretch of road.





5


A classic restaurant in the middle of the Yukon reminding us to keep a lookout for the aurora borealis.





6


Sunset on the taiga always reminds me of Dr. Seuss's trees in The Lorax.





7


Moose are everywhere—enormous and not at all shy.





8


This incredibly rare sighting of a lynx chilling in the brush just across the Alaskan border drove home the point that wildlife is everywhere up here.





9


Traveling on the ALCAN will turn the ordinary into the extraordinary.





10


Finally we saw our first bald eagle—we must be getting close to the Alaskan coast of Valdez...

The post Powder for Powder, ep. 2: ALCAN adventure appeared first on Matador Network.

How to piss off someone from Ohio

Photo: Michael Shane

Bitch about our role in the Presidential elections.

I’ve had a lot of people tell me, “No one would give a shit about your state if it weren’t for the Presidential elections.” First off: Go fuck yourself. 11.5 million Ohioans care about our state. Second: Look, I totally understand thinking the Electoral College is bullshit, but the reason we have so much power is that we’re one of the most populous states in the union. So if the system’s unfair, it’s the system’s fault, not ours. There are a ton of us.

And maybe, if you wanted politicians to pay more attention to you, you could try being a purple state for a bit. Seriously, try it, the power is intoxicating.

Tell us our chili isn’t chili.

Yes it is, and it’s the best chili. Look, I love my family, but when I go back to Cincinnati, I’m going for Skyline Chili first and family second. So naturally, it’s infuriating when visitors to Ohio say, “This isn’t chili, chili needs to have vegetables in it,” or, “Chili doesn’t go on top of spaghetti.” Order a four-way beans if you want some vegetables, and try eating a five-way and telling me there’s anything wrong with the world.

I’ve got nothing against Texas chili, but when those Eastern European immigrants came to Cincinnati decades back and showed us their take on this quintessentially American dish, they did one of two things: They either created the most delicious abomination of all time, or they created the only known proof that God exists and that he loves food.

Tell us Ohio’s just a bunch of farms.

Anyone who’s judging a state by what they’ve seen from the state’s highways is an asshole. But Ohio is way more than farms. We’ve got a number of amazing cities with strong economies and vibrant nightlife, culture, and music scenes, as well as some of the best colleges and universities in the country.

Also, we’ve actually got the 10th-densest population in the country, so if you see Ohio and see an empty expanse, you’re either blind or are living in a post-apocalyptic wasteland.

Downplay our cultural impact.

Another jibe I often hear living on the East Coast is, “What’s Ohio ever given us?” Glad you asked!

Not only has Ohio provided 7 of our 44 Presidents and 25 astronauts, but we’ve also produced one of the best baseball teams of all time (the Big Red Machine), one of the consistently best college football teams (Ohio State), musical acts like Dean Martin, the Righteous Brothers, the Black Keys, and the National, and actors like Clark Gable, Martin Sheen, and Paul Newman. Oh, and Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster, the creators of the most American icon of all time: Superman. Not to mention the Professional Football Hall of Fame, Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and the National Underground Railroad Freedom Center.

I could list off more (always, always glossing over 98 Degrees), but the point stands: Ohio is a culturally significant state. You’re welcome, world.

Have no clue where we are on a map.

For Christ’s sake, there are only 50 US states — how hard is it to remember where they all are? Go to Sporcle and play until you can name all the states on the map. Regardless, it’s galling when people from the East Coast don’t know where we are: Seriously, New York? We’re literally one state away. Just drive through Pennsylvania and you’re there.

On the West Coast, I’ve been asked if we’re “that potato state.” No, you asshole, that’s Idaho, and it’s super close to you. Ohio. We’re sandwiched between Lake Erie and the Ohio River, and we look like a big old lovable heart.

Tell us North Carolina is the birthplace of flight.

No. No no no. This is an ongoing dispute between North Carolina and Ohio, and North Carolina is fucking wrong. NC’s license plates say “First in Flight” because Kitty Hawk, North Carolina, is where the Wright Brothers flew their first airplanes. Ohio’s license plates say “Birthplace of Aviation” because the Wright Brothers — Dayton natives — designed and built their planes in Ohio. Kitty Hawk was legitimately chosen because it was breezy and had sand that would make a crash less destructive.

So if you’re going to give North Carolina credit for anything, give them credit for being a soft, pillowy surface to fail on. Give credit to Ohio for starting the Age of Aviation, which, in turn, kicked off the Golden Age of Travel.

Assume we all talk in a Southern drawl.

I have nothing against Southerners, but Ohio is definitively in the North. We’re literally where slaves escaped to prior to the Fugitive Slave Act of 1850. And while there are some Southern-ish sounding accents in our southern and Appalachian regions, we don’t all talk like Foghorn Leghorn or those hillbillies from Deliverance. Most of us are more or less indistinguishable from your standard American accent.

When broadcasters like Walter Cronkite, Linda Ellerbee, and Stephen Colbert wanted to sound normal, you know who they tried to sound like? Us. [image error]

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