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13 reactions Brazilians always hear

Photo: Octavio Maron

1. “Awesome! It’s #1 on my bucket list!”

Indeed, Brazil’s a cool destination, and I just love when someone realizes it. People are nice, the weather’s lovely all year round, and there are great outdoor spaces and hip cities.

I tend to reply, “Awesome! Here’s my email. Let’s talk, and I’ll share some insider tips.” Those tips always involve pão de queijo (cheese bread). Because the world will be a better place when the deliciousness of pão de queijo is globally appreciated.

2. “Wasn’t it crazy during the World Cup?”

It was fun. Kind of sad in the end, sure, but fun. Unless you live in the Vila Madalena neighborhood of São Paulo. Then it was the seventh circle of hell.

3. “I LOVE Brazilian music.”

Thanks. We all do. Music is a major conversation starter, and most Brazilians are into it. But do you prefer Bebel Gilberto or old-school Sepultura? Because, for many rock fans, the greatest music act to ever rise from Brazil is this quartet of headbangers.

Sepultura was the most successful Brazilian music group in the US, Asia, and Europe for a long time, selling more records than Jobim and Gilberto. Then this guy came along. Damn you, Teló!

4. “Where’s that, exactly?”

Not everyone can point to Brazil on a map although it’s the fifth largest country in the world. Can you believe it? And São Paulo (no, no, the capital is Brasília) is the 10th most populous city. We’re big!

5. “Pelé was great, but Maradona (or Beckenbauer, or Zidane, you name it) was a better player.”

Yeah. Soccer. Every time. Which leads me to:

6. “I felt bad for your country…you know…THAT DAY.”

Can we talk about something else?

7. “Did you vote for Lula?”

Gringos with a mind on global issues will always try and start a political conversation. Although I’m never afraid of going there, I tend to avoid it, for these are tough times in Brazil. Presidential elections are approaching, and there’s been a lot of polarization, rage, and confusion surrounding them.

8. “Woooohooo, caipirinhas!”

Drunk gringos, every time! We all love the national drink, and I’m pretty good at preparing one. But it’s not possible to make a caipirinha with rum. That’s a daiquiri. Sorry.

9. “Ever read Paulo Coelho? The Alchemist changed my life!”

Isn’t it strange that one of the most commercially successful writers ever comes from a country that barely reads? Now that we’re on the subject, Brazil produced some great writers whose works are available in English. Machado de Assis and Jorge Amado come to mind.

10. “My sister-in-law in the US is from Minas Gerais.”

I can always foresee the Minas Gerais commentary if my interlocutor is North American. The city of Governador Valadares in MG state holds the record for sending Brazilians to the US. There was even a popular novela ten years ago about the misadventures of a poor young woman who decides to take a chance and move north. The name was “America,” and here’s an excerpt. It’s hilarious. But fear not; in the end she comes back home.

11. “I’m planning to go next year. Is it safe?”

The answer is, as in most places: It depends. I tend to think of my country as safe, but bad things do happen to gringos and locals, and you should stay alert. But please don’t avoid Brazil because of the stigma of violence.

12. “I had the best time in Rio but got mugged.”

Yeah, me too. Twice. Best way to avoid it in Rio (and everywhere else) is to act like you know what you’re doing, and don’t carry expensive stuff. Play it safe and have fun.

13. “…”

This is what I got in southwest India most of the time when announcing my cool Brazilian heritage. I can only blame it on their total lack of interest in soccer. As you know, Indians in general prefer cricket.

5 lies you’ve been fed about travel

Photo: Éole Wind

1. You will find yourself.

This one always feels a bit like douchey code for: Let’s get wasted in another country. Often this pursuit is financed in part by parents who believe their young adult children are indeed selflessly immersing themselves in another culture and ultimately growing into better humans.

Back in Ohio, said parents will proudly display photos of little Jimmy or Jenny cuddling parentless babies or building a lopsided house. What they won’t see are the photos of Jimmy or Jenny getting trashed on local hooch, trippin’ on shroom shakes, losing their shoes, and hooking up in hostels. They may find themselves all right, with a questionable rash on their nutsack or equivalent female part.

2. Future employers will be impressed with your experience abroad.

“So what is it you’re actually qualified to do?” asks the lady at the temp agency.

“I can teach English.” I answer.

“Everyone here already speaks English.”

I see her point. She looks through my spotty resume some more.

“What are all these gaps? What did you do for six months between Japan and Spain? And again for four months between Korea and… Really? Korea again?”

Um…

“Finding myself?” I try.

She quickly jots something in her folder.

“We’ll see what we can do.”

And I never hear from her again.

3. Traveling will enrich your social life.

Or it could make you socially awkward. When you live in a foreign country and everyone sounds like a grownup in a Peanuts cartoons – wah wah woh wah wah — it’s perfectly normal to spend the whole day not speaking to anyone. Instead, you walk around talking to yourself in your head. I’m really good at this. Sometimes I’m funny and I make myself laugh. Other times I’m sad and make myself cry. Often I hear a corresponding musical score.

The good thing is nobody thinks you’re a freak for the animated facial expressions and spacey, zoned-out quality you emit. They just think you’re foreign! Then they take you home for dinner, make you sing a song, and cut off a lock of your silky, golden hair as a keepsake. Heck, that’s not weird. They’re foreign!

More like this: 4 travel truisms worth questioning

The worst is when you come home and you’re no longer sheathed in a protective condom of foreignness. The next thing you know you’re in the checkout line at Albertsons. You glance at the magazine rack and notice you’re somehow eight American Idols behind. What ever happened to Taylor Hicks? You place your ice cream on the moving belt thingie – your vocabulary has atrophied while abroad – and continue a lively conversation with the people in your head.

“How are you today?” asks a voice from not in your head. It belongs to the checkout guy. Why is he talking to you? What kind of shady shit is he trying to pull? You should probably say something. Anything. But you feel like Ralphie when Santa asks him what he wants for Christmas. The whole situation is awkward, except that it’s not. It’s just you. You are awkward.

4. You will experience a bygone era.

You want to trek through untapped virgin rainforest, visit indigenous peoples, and experience a way of life that no longer exists in the modern world. Who wouldn’t? It’s time travel without all that pressure of inadvertently fucking up the space-time continuum. I’ve had A Brief History of Time sitting unread on the back of my toilet for a year, so I know what I’m talking about.

I once visited a hill tribe deep in the jungles of Thailand. There were satellite dishes attached to all the huts and native teenagers playing on smartphones. Our guide invited us, the huffy and puffy red-faced tourists, to take photos with some of the locals dressed in traditional costume over their traditional jeans, t-shirts, and Nikes. They kindly charged us for this privilege. Next, a little girl approached me and tied a handwoven (in China) friendship bracelet to my wrist. Aw, cute. She also wanted money. Then all her friends wanted money. Then a mob of child hustlers broke out, and they all knew the words to Kesha (previously known as Ke$ha.)

Later, over a lunch of green curry and sticky rice, some jackass complained that the beer one of the local guys carried in on his back from the nearest village wasn’t cold enough. Weren’t we there to embrace a traditional culture? We didn’t travel all this way for refrigeration and other modern-day perks. Seriously, what is wrong with people?

Okay, that jackass was me.

5. It will be a nonstop adventure.

Except when it’s boring. I was bored in Borneo. If only I could’ve procured that orangutan sidekick. While it’s true that Borneo has much in the way of adventure travel, from scaling the peak of Mt. Kinabalu to cruising the Kinabatangan in search of horny large-nosed monkeys, my time was mostly spent working in the “big” kampung of Kota Kinabalu.

“Kota Kinabalu’s a great town!” travelers passing through would say en route to better places. Their time in “KK” – as we denizens called it – consisted of one night getting plastered off Tiger beers at the Irish pub on the waterfront. The next day they were gone, and I was back at the pub. What can I say? It was like Malaysian Cheers, and I was girl Norm, sweaty pits and all.

Alternatively, I could be found engaging in one of these other nonstop adventurous things:

1. Perusing one of the many identical ice-cold hyper malls, which generally left me cold and anxious.
2. Watching an entire season of Mad Men, which generally left me craving whiskey and a nicotine addiction.
3. Lying on the floor of my flat in my best contorted neck-breaking position to freak out my roommate. I had a lot of time to perfect this death pose. He rarely came home early. He was usually at the Irish pub.

This post originally appeared at Medium and is republished here with permission.

Unique timelapse of California

AT FIRST, I THOUGHT this timelapse video was some sort of insane art project meant to give me nightmares for the rest of my life. After forcing myself to watch it a few times however, I began to realize just how genius Circle of Abstract Ritual actually is. Nothing in this film is computer-generated — all of the elements appeared naturally, and were seamlessly edited by filmmaker Jeff Frost.

Frost said that the film “took 300,000 photos, riots, wildfires, paintings in abandoned houses, two years and zero graphics to make.” I admire his vision, and the risks he took to put the film all together, with footage from all over California. It’s not a pretty fast-motion look at Venice’s Grand Canal, or a the Northern Lights in Iceland, but there are plenty of sunsets — just with more violence, and an atonal soundtrack.

6 characters you'll meet in New York

Photo: Timothy Krause

1. The long-suffering bartender

He works at Rathbones on 89th and 2nd, or Rathboner, as you and your friends like to call it. It’s a roach-infested, beer-varnished cave with drinks served in plastic cups and Christmas lights twinkling in July. The smell of stale lager is forever wafting down the sidewalk like a personal olfactory lighthouse. But what it lacks in charm, it makes up in being extremely close to your apartment.

The long-suffering bartender always greets you with, “Jesus Christ, what are you doing here again?” It makes you feel right at home in the neighborhood. When you and your friend flail alone like two sweaty chickens on an empty dance floor at 9pm on a Tuesday night, when you’re loudly and unapologetically rejected by dudes with no sense of humor, and when you obliviously wander around the bar for a half hour with toilet paper stuck to your shoe, he’s there to cringe and bear witness to the horror. Even though you’re sure he’d vehemently deny all association with you, as far as you’re concerned, he’s your friend.

2. The potentially insane Craigslist roommate

With her cute sundress and tiny Chihuahua nestled inside a Gucci shoulder bag, the potentially insane Craigslist roommate seems like the coolest person ever when you first meet. She promises to take you to a speakeasy after you move in and casually mentions her plans to move to Milan for fashion school next year. Basically, she seems like a sign from the gods that your decision to move to NYC was correct and that your time to shine is NOW. Unfortunately, like many New Yorkers, she’s also deeply insane. And not in a fun way. Hope your bedroom door has a lock!

Take advantage of the month-long honeymoon period before she starts manically painting all of the walls canary yellow, stealing your food, and threatening to throw your cat out the window. You can bond over your six-floor walkup exercise routine and share romantic boxes of wine together while gazing at the sweeping vista of brick outside the single tiny window next to your kitchen sink. The final straw will be when her cute little dog decides to pee all over your bed, but, hey, it was nice while it lasted.

3. The broke bargoer

You’ll immediately notice her when she orders a ginger ale at the bar. She’ll wink slyly at you as she holds her glass under the counter and fumbles around in her coat pocket with her free hand. She’ll fish out a dented flask, deftly open it with one hand, and pour a generous amount of whiskey on top of the ginger ale. If you’re lucky, maybe she’ll make you a cocktail of your own.

4. The anti-office worker

She knows she’s in NYC to live the dream, not to slave away at some boring nine-to-five job while the city goes on without her like she doesn’t even exist. She wears thick-rimmed black glasses and has been known to bust out a briar wood pipe at parties (she calls them ‘salons’). Every day, she spends a two-hour lunch break at her table at Grounded in the West Village, slamming back soy lattes while she writes the next great American novel/genre-defying screenplay/edgy Facebook post and Googles tattoo options.

5. The subway busker

He looks like another unassuming teenager riding the 4/5 Express at rush hour, crushed in next to the crumpled, tired suits. He sits hunched over in the corner, skinny frame jutting out underneath a tank top and baggy track pants pooling over bright red Nikes. Once the train starts moving, though, a big smile spreads across his face as he clears a little room in the middle of the car. “Showtime, folks, showtime!” he’ll yell, leaping up onto the subway pole and gracefully walking on air back down. It’s like a mini Cirque du Soleil performance during your evening commute.

6. The soul-searching banker

He lives in a swanky midtown apartment and refuses to go above 86th street for any reason. Every day, he spends 12 hours making money off other people’s money. He exaggerates how hard he works, so it’s tough to be sure. Every night, he’s out on the town with the same coworkers he just spent all day with, blowing money on bottle service at Pink Elephant, judging the well-dressed women around him like they’re food on a plate, and cackling in a low-lit VIP booth about how he’s such a jerk and totally soulless but also living the dream by being disgustingly and undeservedly rich.

In the rare moments when he’s alone, he realizes he is actually kind of a jerk and that his life is pretty empty. Eventually, he’ll seek out a regular-Joe classist version of the manic pixie dream girl to help him rediscover meaning in his life. This guy will teach him about trying unpronounceable food in Chinatown, dating women who aren’t death-defyingly thin, and venturing into the wild world of Upper West Side dive bars.

Eventually, the conflicted banker will cave under the combined pressure from his parents and friends and recommit to the banking world, maybe switching his focus to companies that make wind turbines or $300 organic hemp purses. The next time he’s roping in an aspiring model at an upscale bar, he can impress her with tales of the time he and his “alternative” friend braved the war zone of East Harlem to check out this underground art commune called Paint Nite on a Groupon.

13 things people ask Californians

Photo: JL

1. “Do you eat Mexican food every day?”

No. Well, sometimes. Okay, usually.

2. “Have you ever seen snow?” (Often followed up by: “Do you know what seasons are?”)

So there’s this place called Tahoe…

3. If from San Francisco: “Do you know a lot of gay people?”
4. If from Los Angeles: “Do you know a lot of celebrities?”
5. “What’s it like being a hippy?”

Why don’t you come to the commune and find out for yourself?

6. “Why are all you people so obsessed with avocados?”

I won’t even dignify this with a response.

7. “Is everyone a vegetarian?”

Just my aunt…and the cute Starbucks barista…and the guy I dog sit for…

8. “Does everyone drive a Prius?”

See above.

9. “What the hell does “hella” mean?”

This question typically elicits an eye roll from residents of Southern California.

10. “Are you always tan?” Or, depressingly, “Why aren’t you tanner?”

If categorized as the latter, you are considered a social leper in California.

11. “Is traffic really that bad?”

Traffic. Parking. Drivers. Gas prices. All bad.

12. “Why is there tension between Northern and Southern Californians?”

At least we all agree that California is the best state.

***

And, finally, the thing people always ask without fail:

13. “If I came to California, could I stay with you?”

On my addiction to trip planning

Photo: Katie Shanice

I’m currently planning my wedding with my fiancee, Steph. It’s 14 months off, so we’re not really in a big rush, but almost every night we sit down for dinner and say, “Okay, let’s talk about wedding stuff.” Then we dive into guest lists and color palettes and I ask questions like “How do you pronounce mauve?” or “Which of these colors is mauve?” or “Can we drop mauve? Mauve just doesn’t mauve me all that much,” at which point Steph changes the topic (mauves on) to something that will make me less of an annoying jackass: our honeymoon.

Our honeymoon is an exercise in pure fantasy. We imagine ourselves in water-top bungalows in Fiji, in Swiss Alpine chalets with fireplaces and bearskin rugs and private cheese cellars, and in penthouse suites at resorts on the Mayan Riviera with swim-up bars and infinity pools. We imagine that, after our wedding, we’ll suddenly have money and will be able to afford private seaplanes to private atolls called “Hammock Island.”

None of this is particularly likely. Don’t get me wrong — we’re going to have a great time no matter what we do, but we’ve got nine weddings including our own next year, and my career is in blogging. We’re not flush with cash we can spend on two-week-long romantic luxury trips. But that’s not what matters. What matters is the planning.

Planning is a lifelong affliction.

This has been an eternal problem for me. I love planning trips. I have an old chest back at my parents’ house covered in stickers and full of books and maps. Half of the books — usually Lonely Planet, sometimes Rick Steves — are to places I’ve never been, and will never go. The maps all trace elaborate, unlikely routes I’ve never even started. No, I’ve never crossed the Darien Gap from Colombia into Panama as part of a six-month-long Pan-American ramble. No, I’ve never bought a motorbike for meandering across Asia. No, I’ve never kayaked the Nile from source to sea.

And thank god I haven’t. My Pan-American trip would almost certainly have involved malaria, my motorbike across Asia would have resulted in a stolen or broken motorbike, and my Nile kayaking would have ended in death-by-hippo. I’m an adventurous person, but only in the sense that I will try literally any beer you put in front of me. I don’t like bumpy travel, I like travel on smooth trains with legroom and a viewing car.

The crux: I like planning better than actual travel.

I’ve come to realize, over time, that I enjoy planning my trips more than I actually enjoy taking them. I like clearing off my desk to lay down a full world map. “Why is it full world?” you ask, “You’re just going to Europe.” Yeah, well, I also have literally no reason to have this old-timey compass out as I plan, except maybe to use as a paperweight, but it makes me feel exotic. It makes me feel adventurous.

My plans are always far better than my travels anyway. In my plans, I have an unlimited budget and an endless amount of time. In my plans, I have all the correct gear, and every hostel I stay at has a brilliant book I’ve never read before and not just 10 copies of fucking Shantaram. In my plans, I’m no longer an introvert and I make interesting friends I stay in touch with for the rest of my life. In my plans, trains and planes are never missed. In my plans, I never get a single bug bite, and I never get swamp ass.

“Want to make God laugh?” the old saying goes. “Tell Him your plans.” Well, hey God, I’m not even considering following through on my plans. Who’s laughing now, big guy?

But it’s more than just lacking follow-through (or as my mother calls it, “stick-to-itiveness”). I genuinely enjoy the reading and the researching that goes into planning. I may actually learn more about a country in researching it than I do by visiting it. And an education at home is more affordable than an education abroad.

Of course, when you travel, you’re putting yourself in a state of constant discomfort and distress. You’re entering a world you don’t have experience dealing with, and then when you’re confronted with a situation, you have to discover who you really are by seeing how you respond in the moment. You learn about yourself and then you grow. But learning hard truths about yourself sucks. Growing hurts. As Thomas Jefferson said, “Travel makes men wiser, but less happy.”

Does travel make you a better person? Yeah. Does it challenge you in ways you never thought possible? Yeah. But it’s way more fun to imagine growth and fulfillment with a tall mug of coffee and a book in your easy chair than it is to actually experience it.

Bandaloop dancers take City Hall

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AS IF OAKLAND’S ART SCENE couldn’t get any cooler, Bandaloop’s Amelia Rudolph and Roel Seeker took the art of dance to an entirely new level during the 14th annual Art + Soul Festival. Using an intricate system of cables and pulleys, members from this dance troupe create alternative performances that change the way we perceive dance. I feel like gravity is working with them, instead of against them, to the point where it looks like they are flying across Oakland’s City Hall.

The troupe also performed a piece on the Sundial Bridge in Redding, California; I hope footage of that experience becomes public, because I can’t even imagine what kinds of techniques and tricks they were able to achieve.

Why Airbnb rocks for business travel

Photo: Victor Bezrukov

Staying at a hotel on a business trip is a complete nightmare. I’m at the mercy of check-in times. My bed is stiff, and the sheets are too starchy. I’m forced to dine out for all of my meals, or succumb to the outrageous expenses of the hotel’s restaurants. Housekeeping wakes me up before I’m ready, and there never seems to be enough natural light.

Here’s what Airbnb’s business-traveler model has to offer those who loathe hotels as much as I do.

Comfort

After a long day of balancing business meetings with jet lag, all I wanted to do in Brussels was curl up in my bed with a hot cup of tea. My Belgian host Luther, who had a great flat near Avenue Louise, invited me to share his homemade dinner of curried lentils and jasmine rice, and the fresh towels he provided for me felt amazing after I took a shower in my private washroom.

One of the best feelings is coming home to your personal space after a long day of work. I like knowing I can continue my routine of sweatpants-and-Netflix-binging-before-bed in a place that’s more like my first apartment, and less like an eerily quiet, Lysol-scented chamber of commercialized interior design.

Availability

Aside from being sold out, hotels will sometimes raise their prices during holidays or special events. It’s usually pretty easy for me to find an Airbnb property any time of year, however, since there are over 500,000 locations in the current database. Most business travel occurs in big cities, and those residents are always looking to earn some extra money to offset the cost of rent.

When I had to book a room the day before a publishing conference in Philadelphia, only three hotels had vacancies — one was near the airport, another had a one-star rating, and none were less than $200 a night. But there were well over 20 apartments in and around Center City for me to choose from, despite the late notice.

Versatility

I always prefer to meet with clients in a place that’s quiet, has comfortable seating, and isn’t lit with life-sucking fluorescent bulbs. One of the best uses of Airbnb I’ve seen wasn’t even for sleeping — it was for partying. My business partner rented out a baller loft space in Midtown Manhattan to host a book launch. He easily set up catering in the kitchen area, and the open floor plan allowed for a lot of people to feel comfortable in a workable space. Since it was basically someone’s apartment, he didn’t have to rent tables or chairs.

Business travelers don’t need to reserve stuffy hotel conference rooms, or set up meetings in loud cafes. A lot of properties on Airbnb are beautifully designed spaces that create the perfect setting for inspiring coworkers, or presenting information to new clients that will leave a unique impression.

Value

If I’m faced with a rate for a hotel room that matches a rate on Airbnb, I opt for the latter every time — because I know I’m getting more than just a crash pad. For less than the price of the cheapest hotel in Oslo, I was able to rent a studio apartment with a full kitchen and doorman in the funky Grünerløkka neighborhood. No, it didn’t come with housekeeping, or a jacuzzi tub, but it had free wifi and a sleeve of delicious Norwegian biscuits to welcome me.

I was able to save money on meals by cooking breakfast and packing lunches, and I didn’t didn’t have to tip anybody. Even though a lot of business travelers are able to expense things like meals, laundry, and gratuities, not having to deal with expense reports at all is pretty nice.

Promotion of cultural exchange

The best Airbnbs are in areas outside the main tourist centers, unlike most hotels, which neighbor expensive shopping, an overwhelming amount of noise and/or electric light (like in Times Square), and other hotels. My Airbnb hosts have always been pleasant, fun people; some, like the couple I stayed with in Budapest, only had time to enjoy a cup of coffee with me in the morning, while others, like the four university students who hosted me in New Orleans, toured me around town.

Even if I stay in an apartment by myself, I like connecting with locals at nearby markets and cafes. The people I met at pubs around Grünberger Straße clued me into some Germany business and cultural practices — advice I’m not sure I would have gotten while sitting next to another foreigner at a hotel bar.

Flexibility

The number one thing I despise about hotels and hostels is the check-in procedure. At 7am, I’m tired from flying five hours on a glorified easy chair, I’m in desperate need of a good shower, the first meeting starts at noon, and I have to lug around my things until my room is “ready” at 3pm? No thanks.

I’ve always been able to arrange an appropriate key-grabbing time with my Airbnb hosts that allows me to rest and recoup shortly after arriving. Checkout is usually a breeze as well, giving me a few hours to take in local attractions, or just chill out, before I depart for home.

Things the US can learn from France

Photo: Camil Tulcan

1. How to savor every meal

Never rush through a confit de canard (duck confit), side of creamy au gratin (browned and topped with cheese) potatoes, and glass of cabernet sauvignon. In the States, we eat hurriedly from our work desks and zip in and out of restaurants in under an hour. We need to learn that dining out is not just another cabillaud au four (grilled cod) dinner with moules farcies (mussels stuffed with garlic and butter) to start and mousse au chocolat for dessert — it’s an experience that should last several hours and span three or four courses.

A two-hour break for lunch — la pause déjeuner — should be standard. Go home and cook a savory galette complete with an over-easy egg, mushrooms, Emmental cheese, and ham. Or even throw together a quick salad with cherry tomatoes, red onions, hard-boiled eggs, nuts, gésiers (duck gizzards), and homemade vinaigrette with diced shallots and Dijon mustard. There’s also the laid-back approach of slicing a crusty baguette, spreading the soft inside with butter, and topping it with sliced radishes and a sprinkle of salt.

2. How to slow down

Whether you’re sipping coffee, searching for the right word to use in a sentence, drinking wine, dining out, or strolling through city streets, do so at a leisurely pace. Don’t be afraid to enjoy three hours of sidewalk people-watching with your café au lait.

3. How to accept (and be comfortable with) your appearance

Don’t subscribe to packaged ideas of beauty. Take a cue from Marion Cotillard, Catherine Deneuve, Léa Seydoux, and Mélanie Laurent and embrace your body and face as it is, no thick foundation or false eyelashes needed. Au natural makeup and simple, relaxed hairstyles like a loose chignon, air-dried waves, or Charlotte Gainsbourg’s signature un-brushed bedhead can all be beautiful.

4. How to be more reserved in public

Speaking loudly suggests that you are not aware of your surroundings and the people you might be disrupting. Therefore, it’s not very polite to strike up spontaneous conversation about the importance of recycling, the killer Lakers game last night, or the horrendous traffic on the I-5 freeway with people whom you’ve never met. It’s okay to be less talkative in public. Strive to be more courteous and quiet when you’re amongst strangers.

5. How to celebrate sexuality

No one should bat an eyelash when a beach-goer decides to sunbathe topless, or nipples and breasts peek out from the pages of Vogue or Elle. And watching a 12-minute sex scene at the cinema à la La Vie d’Adèle (Blue is the Warmest Color) should be far less shocking than witnessing violence or bloodshed on film.

6. How to choose your friends carefully

Americans are peaches and the French are coconuts. Peaches have soft, fuzzy exteriors and tough, unexpected pits at their center. Coconuts are rough and hard on the outside and sweet and milky once they’re cracked open.

You might have over a thousand friends on Facebook but how many of them would you actually cry to or walk around naked in front of? You should be comfortable spilling the details of your last break-up with every person who you consider your friend. Once you’re that comfortable with someone, let them in completely and permanently. Initial reservation shouldn’t be mistaken for coldness, it’s a mysterious and lovely quality. Maintain your sense of privacy and intrigue to the world and reserve unabashed and indiscriminate intimacy for those with whom you’re closest.

7. How to dress well

A single, chic look should work for every occasion. The right skinny jeans, ballerina flats, and blazer should take you to the office, the market, and the cocktail bar. You’ll still appear as if you’ve dressed specifically for each situation.

It’s important to know when and where certain pieces are appropriate. You should know that a tailored smoking jacket is cool for city streets and that a circle skirt paired with a slim sweater works for a night out but not for a job interview. And, no, wearing spandex shorts to a restaurant or sweats to class is never okay. Whether you’re seeing a production at l’Opéra or tossing out the garbage, you should know what items to add to your ensemble — sports coats, leather jackets, simple gold earrings will always allow you to look stylish and effortlessly put together.

8. How to master la soirée

Entertaining at home is a fine art. Always begin by sitting, conversing, and enjoying an apéro (short for apéritif — an appetite-inducing cocktail served before a meal) in the living room. Offer wine, fruit juice, martinis, or pastis (liquorice-like liquor) with a light appetizer like cherry tomatoes and goat cheese or bread with olive tapenade.

Once everyone gathers at the table for the meal, serve an entrée, something like poireaux vinaigrette (marinated leeks) with herbs or a radish salad. The plat or main course should always include meat and can be anything from a cassoulet au canard (duck casserole with string beans) to lapin à la moutarde (rabbit cooked with Dijon mustard, onion, and white wine).

The cheese plate should come next with a couple of soft cheeses like Camembert or Brie, a familiar and classic favorite like Chèvre, a hard cheese like Gruyere de Comte, an adventurous (or stinky) option like Epoisses, and a blue cheese like Roquefort. Eat the cheese plain or pair it with torn pieces of a baguette, which should always be resting on the table.

A crispy apple tarte tartin, raspberry crème brûlée, simple berry-and-yogurt parfait, or chocolate cake for dessert will complete the meal. Then you can converse and laugh with your guests over tea, coffee, or more wine outside on the terrace. By the end of the evening, you’ll be happily intoxicated and satisfied from good alcohol, good food, and even better company.

10 images of Iceland's waterscapes

Editor’s note: Belgian photographer and MatadorU Student Sebastien Beun recently traveled to Iceland. He traced the coastline, focusing on waterscapes — that is, landscapes that feature moving water — including the Snæfellsnes peninsula, Þingvellir National Park, Gullfoss, and Vatnajökull National Park.

The images below were captured on that trip, and they showcase some of the island nation’s most stunning natural features.

All photos by author

1

Svartifoss, Skaftafell, Vatnajökull National Park

Its name, which means Black Falls, comes from the black basalt columns that surround the water. New
columns break off the cliff from time to time. The external design of the famous
church of Hallgrímur in Reykjavik is said to be inspired from the basalts of Svartifoss.

2

Öxarárfoss, Þingvellir National Park

Þingvellir is one of
the highlights of the country for several reasons. From a historical point of view, this is
the place where the Viking Parliament was established in 930. It was thus Iceland’s
supreme judicial and legislative centre. From a geological point of view, Þingvellir is a
rift valley where both the Eurasian and the North American tectonic plates slowly
separate from each other (which, itself, is called the Mid-Atlantic Ridge).

3

Seljalandsfoss

This waterfall is one of my personal favorites. The water of the Seljalandsá River drops
about 60 meters over the cliffs of what was, in a very ancient past, the coastline of the
island. Seljalandsfoss is very popular among tourists and photographers because you
can actually walk all the way around the falls and enjoy stunning points of view. But don’t
forget your raincoat or you’ll get drenched!

Intermission




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4

Gullfoss, The Golden Falls

This is clearly one of the highlights of Iceland.
It is located in the southwest of the country, in the canyon of Hvítá River. It is a
huge waterfall. In the summer, the average amount of water running over it is
about 140 cubic meter per second. The water plunges into a crevice that is 32 meters
deep and mostly hidden at first sight.

5

The upper part of Gullfoss just before plunging into the crevice

This picture was taken at 12:14am in June, when the sun barely disappears under the horizon for a couple of hours before rising again, offering
hours of beautiful light to tourists… and photographers.

6

A melting iceberg on the black volcanic sand beach at Jökulsárlón

Jökulsárlón is a large glacial lake located on the edge of the Vatnajökull National Park in
southeast Iceland. Icebergs that separate from the Breiðamerkurjökull glacier
move toward the ocean and then wreck on the nearby beach and slowly melt.
Jökulsárlón and the nearby Breiðamerkurjökull glacier have been featured in several
movies including Batman Begins in 2005.

7

Skógafoss, southern Iceland

Like Seljalandsfoss, this waterfall is located at
the cliffs of the ancient coastline, which is nowadays about five kilometers away. It is one
of the biggest waterfalls in the country. According to legend, a treasure was buried in
a cave behind the fall by the first Viking settler in the region. Skógafoss was alsofeatured in the film
Thor: The Dark World.

8

Kirkjufellsfoss

This is a small, but well-situated waterfall in the north of
the Snæfellsnes peninsula. It stands just next to the famous Kirkjufell mountain that was
behind me when I took that picture. The most famous point of view is actually on the
other side of the fall and shows the water in the foreground and the mountain in the
background. The weather was pretty bad when I got there; although I was hoping
for a gorgeous sunset shot, I ended up with those dramatic clouds packed around the
mountains. This is Iceland.

9

A detail of Brúarfoss

A less known yet absolutely stunning waterfall located
not far from Geysir. It's quite difficult to reach since it’s not on
tourist maps, and accurate directions are hard to find. But it’s definitely
worth the effort!

10

The coastline of Arnarstapi

Arnarstapi is a small fishing village located on
the southern side of the Snæfellsnes peninsula, western Iceland, a couple of
hours from Reykjavik. The peninsula has been named Iceland in Miniature because
most of the typical landscapes and sights of the country can be found in the area. The
Snæfellsjökull, the peninsula’s highest peak, was the setting of Jules Verne’s Journey to
the Center of the Earth.