Heather McCubbin's Blog, page 32

Our Children Are Not Perfect (except on Facebook)...and Neither Are My Characters

My oldest turned 18 yesterday! He is basically an adult and it blows my mind that he is this old. Didn't I just drop him off for preschool and hope he didn't cry the whole time? By the time child #3 went, she was begging to go to school and I was happy to take her so she'd be more stimulated and with a group of kids her own age.

I have three teenagers and love all of them. They are all my favorites, they are all good students, two play musical instruments and they aren't assholes (which was my main role as a parent...raise a kid to not be an asshole) but they aren't perfect. So, why do people in their status messages on Facebook make their children seem faultless and saintlike? Are they afraid people will judge them? Are they trying to prove something to someone else who may be in their FB circle?

My kids argue. One son is in Mock Trial and will argue until you give in, so I have learned to pick my battles with him, when to be quiet and when to tell him *enough* he crossed the line. He loves to leave his wet towels on the floor, he curses even after a lecture about it being a lazy language. Brushing teeth? What is that? Another son doesn't see the mess in his room, doesn't think a brush is needed for his hair and has the tendency to be OCD about the time. It's not "almost 2pm, it's 1:58." My daughter can find the loophole in just about anything and should be a lawyer. She arranges her bookshelves 'just so' and will tell me to ask her to do something directly (not to say "it'd be nice if you walked the dog") but when I do I get excuses as to why she always does it so can't one of her brother's walk the dog? Also, is it a genetic trait that the boys don't think to change their sheets?

Why do we paint our children as perfect? Part of me thinks it is because they will be able to see your post on FB (or a friend's mom will tell someone and it'll get back to said child) and we don't want to ruin their self esteem. Guess what? They know the things I listed above! We talk about it, argue about it and I nag about it on a daily basis. I'm not perfect either and they let me know that; we are only human.

I want my characters in my books to be perfect as they are kind of like my children. Yet, I give them each a fault that carries through the book. It may be insecurity, a messy room, foul language...something that whomever may read the book, when it comes out, can identify with themselves or for someone else.

Any thoughts on why people portray their children, or even their lives, as perfect on Facebook? (I have had two friends cancel their FB accounts because they felt bad about their own lives. They were getting jealous others had more money and were bragging about their latest expensive trip or purchase. )

IWSG--I'm Going Through Withdraw--Blogging from A to Z Challenge

Is anyone else going through withdraw that participated in April's Blogging from A to Z Challenge? I certainly am! I loved posting every day, trying to figure out how I can bring everything back to writing with a certain letter of the alphabet. I loved visiting and commenting on other people's blogs. I loved watching comments pop up on my blog and see my "Followers" increase.

I wonder now if anyone will be reading this. Will people keep up the momentum in visiting blogs? Will they go to the A to Z Blog list here and peruse it, looking for like minded people?

Herein lies my insecurities. And maybe some others can relate. We felt loved when people came to our blog whether they HAD to because they were a moderator or helper (like I was with Lisa's Live Wires) or because they stumbled upon us. Isn't that how you find a great book or other piece of literature or even art? You 'stumble' upon it? I'm hoping that is what everyone out there who blogged in April managed to do. Stumble upon a great blog; one they visited every day. I wonder if I am that person for someone?

Some that I really liked are in my info page. One I loved reading every day was Keith's Ramblings You can find others that I visited under my Profile.

I hope everyone had a great time in April and I look forward to seeing many of you next year in that challenge. Until then, keep visiting and commenting.

Thanks!

{WR} Reflections On The A To Z Blogging Challenge

I woke up this morning and realized there weren't any more letters for the Challenge. I felt like something was missing. Even in this cyber world there was a sense of community as we all easily (or struggled) to post the 'letter of the day'.

We visited pages of the guests who commented on our page. We went to the A to Z Challenge List and scrolled through it looking for like minded blogs and made new friends. I enjoyed reading other peoples trials and tribulations, poems, pictures, stories...anything writing related.

I can't think of anything to make this challenge better. I have no idea how long it has been going on as this was my first year participating, but it seemed to be a well oiled machine. I was part of Lisa's Live Wires and helped weed out the blogs who stopped a bit early. I didn't come across anything offensive. The only issue I had was how people 'hid' their A to Z Blog within a Google+ page or in their webpage...or it was a maze I didn't have time to follow to get to it. But, that isn't the A to Z Committees fault.

Congratulations to everyone who completed!
Thank you for everyone to commented!
Until 2016...keep on blogging!

You can find me here:

Twitter
Facebook

{WR} Zealous: Which Is What We Writers Are! {Blogging from A to Z}

We made it. 26 posts. One month. This was my first A to Z Challenge and I loved it! I will be back next year but until then I will be zealous in my writing and blogging!

Zealous: avid, enthusiastic. I came across so many amazing blogs and some that were just confusing or even dull. I could tell who was avidly doing the Challenge because they loved the writing part and the challenge of sticking with a theme (if they chose to do so).
I am going to miss the community; the checking of my mail to see if anyone commented. To see my "Followers" slowly rise. To read a blog and know there are other like minds out there! I know the A to Z list will always be on the site and I will visit it, finding other zealous writers :-)
Is there anything else that you have a passion for besides writing? I love reading and working with children, coffee and chocolate and sarcasm. What are yours? Please share!

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment on my blog! I truly appreciate all of you and look foward to following many of you in your journey!

{WR} Yours Truly. Sincerely. Love. Does Anyone Write Letters Anymore? {Blogging from A to Z}

I grew up in the 70's and 80's where I had to hand write Thank You notes. I wrote letters to penpals all over the world and still have one in Rome, Italy today. As the INTRAnet became popular in college, then AOL mass marketed their CDs of thousands of free Internet hours, quality handwritten letters have gone by the wayside.

I remember decorating envelopes, making my own stationary, writing lines in different colors, dotting "i's with similes or hearts. I remember trying to figure out: how do I sign certain friend's cards or letters to penpals? "Love"? "Sincerely"? "Take Care?"

Do they even teach letter writing in school anymore? I have two high schoolers and a middle schooler and I think my oldest learned how in elementary school but not his younger siblings. I had to teach them how to address an envelope, where to put the stamp. They don't even write Thank You's anymore because they text or email it sooner than I can even ask them to write a letter. (And don't get me started on cursive disappearing!)

When I moved here three years ago, I sent some of my friends handwritten letters just to be different, to show how much I loved them and to see what their response would be. One was very surprised, the others loved it and told me it was nice to get something other than bills or junk mail.



Have you sent a handwritten letter to anyone recently? I still send paper Birthday and Christmas cards but since my handwritten letter binge three years ago, I haven't sent any letters. It's just easier and quicker to do it via email. However, the feeling of writing and receiving a letter is not something that can be replaced. To know a person spent time sitting and writing and making an effort to spell things correctly is something that can't be given via a computer.

This being said, I wonder how many authors till use pen and paper to write their stories?


Yours Truly,
Heather McCubbin

{WR} Xerox/Copies, Tissues/Kleenex, iPod/MP3...what is the right word? {Blogging from A to Z}

I am going to xerox that paper. I use kleenex. I drink Coke. I listen to my iPod (even when I had a non-Apple product I called it this.) I Google answers.

It's amazing how some brand names have become an 'everyday' word for an 'everyday' item. I am not brand loyal when it comes to buying a facial tissue, but I still call it a Kleenex. I am not from the midwest so I don't say pop, I say soda, but when I talk about ordering a drink I will order I say, "I'm going to order a Coke...I'll have a Diet Coke and my daughter a Sprite."I also am going to xerox this contract and pass it out," whether it's on an HP or Xerox copy machine.

I find that my characters may be adopting this lingo as well. I try not to in many instances (see the brand name post Brand Names in Writing) but sometimes, my character REALLY wants a Diet Coke. Or, they are on the search for the newest iPod because they have to have it for a gift to give someone in the book.

Can you think of any other examples of a brand name being substituted for other items? Do you use any specific ones in your writing with your characters?

{WR} Writing Brands/Local Places Into Your Stories: Is It The "Write" Way? {Blogging from A to Z}

I have been told, and I have read often, to not use brand names in your stories.
What about local names of places/businesses/restaurants etc?

I can understand brand names as they may date the book. (I mentioned this in a post before). Will iPods (or Apple) be around in 40 years? Does AOL even have the same punch as it did 15 years ago if you talk about it in a book? Should we say a character is going to "Google" something? I try to stay away from using brand names when I can, but sometimes I have to use it or the sentence may sound awkward and 'made up'.

 As for local names...what are your feelings on using them?

"Jill had to run to the Publix to get milk so her Oreo cookies wouldn't be lonely."
"We all went to In-n-Out after the basketball game for burgers."
"Wegmans was the largest grocery store that Jane had ever been in and it took her hours to shop."

Do you think using these names will make the reader feel a little more removed from the storyline? Do you seclude someone in New York who is reading the book where "Publix" is mentioned since it's a southern grocery store? Is someone in Florida going to search for "Wegmans" to see what kind of store it is since they hadn't heard of it? People in CA will nod their head at the"In-n-Out" reference whereas people in Virginia may be thinking it's a strange name for a burger place.

Where do you draw the line on mentioning local places...if any lines need to be drawn? I personally don't mind reading funny names of bars or restaurants and would have no idea if it's a real place or not. I know about the three places I mentioned above and only one is in my geographical area (Wegmans). I am conflicted about this and will try to keep to the "vibe" of my story and if the word fits in, great. If not, then I'll use the generic "grocery store" or say "her favorite Italian restaurant" instead.

{WR} Visting Other Authors Blogs {Blogging from A to Z Challenge}

Here's a chance for you to tell us some of your favorite authors/writing blogs. I have found so many interesting ones doing this challenge (and being a moderator for Lisa's Live Wires I see other non-writing ones as well).

Please take a moment to share, in the comments section, a blog you love to visit...and don't forget to include your own as well!

My list:

Donna Weaver
Books and Bark 
Lori Maclaughlin
Lani Woodland
Alex Cavanaugh--host of the Insecure Writers Support Group

Thanks, everyone! I look forward to visiting some of your suggestions. Have a wonderful weekend.

{WR} Understanding Your Characters {Blogging from A to Z Challenge}

Yesterday, I read a post on the Insecure Writers Support Group Facebook page about a writer whose villain was writing his own story. His line was going in a direction she didn't originally want so she wasn't sure if she should keep writing or not. She reached out and asked us our thoughts and almost everyone advised to roll with it, see where it takes her.

I find this veering off happens to me to the point where I have to rewrite some scenes (that I skipped ahead to write) just because they don't fit within the story anymore.

You think you understand your characters, but I think if you are writing fiction, sometimes they will surprise you and take you on a journey you didn't expect.

Has this happened to you? In what way?

{WR} The End...How Do You End Your Work? {Blogging from A to Z}

THE END

What every author strives for after toiling at the computer, or paper, for months...years. Maybe decades.  Or, as one of my friend's wrote in her Word Doc, to her sequel of  Sing Sweet Nightingale, and posted it to Facebook: "The F*&^ing End" (I have a post about the "F" word in this challenge).

When you write "The End" are you done? Or do you like to have an epilogue? While we are at it, what are your thoughts on Prologues?

I like having an epilogue, usually. I didn't like the epilogue in Scott Westerfield's "Midnighters" series...and I was warned by the said friend above to NOT READ IT. But, I did...I should have listened to her.

Usually, I find that I want to know what the characters did after the story has ended and I do have epilogues in my stories. Prologues annoy me sometimes because I feel like it's almost the same as the blurb on the cover of the book. It gives you a hint as to what the story is going to be like. I can't really think of an epilogue that stands out in my head as being beneficial to the storyline of the book.

What are your thoughts, if any? I find the stories I write are never really 'ended' in my mind. I can think of dozens more scenes I could put my characters in, but know they aren't quality enough to be included in the story.

THE END

Blogging from A to Z