H.B. Pattskyn's Blog, page 19

HEA vs. HFN

Okay first, for those who aren't familiar with those abbreviations, HEA stands for Happily Ever After; HFN stands for Happy For Now.
In classic romance, the "required" ending is always HEA. It's what readers expect and it's what writers deliver. Some contemporary romances, however, end with an HFN feeling--the characters end on a happy note, but HEA isn't a solid guarantee. (There's also "bittersweet" romance, but simply do not do bittersweet--that's like at the end of that episode of Children of Earth where you know Jack and Ianto are in love, but Ianto is dying in Jack's arms and it's sweet and beautiful and you're sobbing your eyes out because it's not fair. And that episode is exactly why I can no longer handle bittersweet in any shape or form). 
But I digress...
When I wrote my second novel, Bound:Forget Me Knot, I intended the ending to read "Happily Ever After". (Okay, spoilers ahead). When Henry puts the lock on Jason's collar, after warning Jason that Jason doesn't get the key... to me, that's a pretty solid ending. But not everyone who read it thought so; a number of people interpreted that as "Happy for Now" (perhaps because Henry doesn't return Jason's "I love you". I could tell you why he didn't say it, but we'll save that explanation for the sequel  ;-)  He did sort of tell Jason--and readers--why he doesn't like to say things in the heat of the moment earlier in the book). 
I don't mind that readers didn't see the same HEA I do; they didn't get a look into Henry's brain and some folks didn't quite understand what Henry meant when he said he hadn't had sex with anyone since he met Jason. What it did do was to get me thinking about what makes Happily Ever After. Is it "I love you?" How many teenagers say that? 
Is it wedding bells? As a two-time divorcee, I can tell you that walking down the aisle doesn't necessarily mean Happily Ever After. You want it to, but sometimes stuff just happens. I know a number of readers did say they wished there would have been "more story", more of what happened after Jason moved in with Henry--but that really is it's own story. (Look for it right here on this blog on Christmas!)  Others said they wished I'd done an epilogue; I did one in my first book, but their story needed it. I didn't feel as if Jason and Henry's tale needed to wrapped up all "Sweet and Tidy". But maybe after two divorces, I'm just too cynical. 
It's not that I don't believe in Happily Ever After, it's that I don't think there's any one moment that can define it. I think each moment we chose to make our relationship work is a Happy For Now moment and if you string enough of those Happy For Nows together, you end up with
I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on the subject :D

And on that note... today's recipe is one of my favorite (if time consuming) endevors: 
Italian Wedding Soup
This definitely takes some planning--or you can break it down into two steps, and make the meatballs the day before. These, by the way, are the meatballs I make for almost everything. The original recipe calls for ground beef, but I really, really love this with ground chicken, or when I can't find that, ground turkey. I imagine they'd be good with ground lamb, too, especially in a soup like this...hmmm.... I may have to try that next time!
Okay, here goes...
For the Meatballs:1 1/2 lb ground meat (beef, chicken, turkey, lamb)1 small onion minced fine (I prefer a Spanish or vidalia onion because they're both sweet)3 cloves of garlic minced fine (more or less to taste, but you don't want to overpower it with garlic)2 egg, beaten4 Tablespoons shredded romano cheese (feel free to substitute parmesan or asiago--or mix and match!)2 BIG carros, shredded 2 teaspoon fresh parsley chopped1/2 teaspoon dried oregano1 teaspoon dried basil1/2 teaspoon dried thyme1/3 cup of your favorite Italian bread crumbsOlive oil (for sauteeing)Meatballs aren't difficult to make, they're just very time consuming. Begin by sauteeing the onions and carrots in olive oil, on very low heat until the onions are translucent and the carrots are tender. Then add the garlic and sautee for another few minutes. I usually add the parsley to this mix as well, just to wilt it a little. 
Remove from heat and let cool. In while it's cooling, you can assemble the remaining ingredients in a large bowl; simply mix it all together with your (clean!) hands--or wear latex gloves because yeah, it's a little gross. After the veggies have cooled, add it to the mix and mix well. I don't rinse out my pan, but sautee the meatballs right in the same oil because it's full of oniony, garlicy goodness!
The thing with meatballs for soup is that they need to be bite sized. So you're going to be there a while. Roll out your meatballs and cook them on low heat until brown. I usually brown mine in the skillet and then put them in the oven to finish cooking for about 20 minutes on 350; unless it's summer. Then I either use the toaster oven (in smaller batches), or simply cook them in the skillet a little longer. They will have some cook-time in the soup, but I'm really careful when it comes to ground meat. 
Now, for the soup you'll need:More olive oil for sauteeing1 small/medium onion (Spanish or vidalia) minced fine1 bag (usually a pound) of spinach chopped fine4 cloves of garlic, minced3 Tablespoons fresh parsley1 teaspoon EACH dried basil, thyme, oregano1/2 teaspoon dried rosemary (I find rosemary pretty strong, that's why I only use half a teaspoon)3 boxes of low sodium / low fat chicken broth Celery; you can either be like most people and chop up 2 stalks or like me and use celery powder (about a quarter teaspoon is usually just right)3 BIG carrots, either shredded or chopped fine1 1/2 cups orzo; I tend to like a lot of pasta so I usually make it two cups (but then my husband says there's too much pasta); some recipes only call for one cup of pasta. (Any small pasta will do, I happen to be very fond of orzo)2 cans artichoke hearts (not traditional, but I really love artichoke!) ChoppedMore cheese and parsley for garnishIn a stock pot, once again, begin by sauteeing the onion and carrot (I can't stand hard crunchy carrots) and celery if you're using fresh/raw--remember LOW heat. Once everything is tender, add the minced garlic and let it go for another few minutes. Add the broth and herbs. Simmer for a few minutes to bring it up to a light boil. Add the pasta and lower heat; cook until tender (about 10 minutes), stirring frequently to avoid burning/sticking. The reason I don't add the meatballs just yet is because you're going to be stirring frequently and I don't want to risk breaking them. Add more liquid if necessary. After the pasta is tender, I add my artichoke hearts and spinach, then slowly put in the meatballs and simmer a little bit longer until everything is nice and hot. Stir it very gently. 
Serve topped with parsley and cheese--yum! 
And don't forget: I'd LOVE to hear your thoughts on HEA vs. HFN. What makes a story HEA? Helen Pattskyn, Fantasy Artist, Gay Romance Author

I don't know about you...

But I'm ready for something a little bit lighter. Not that the serious issues don't really, really matter, but sometimes you need to smile a little too. So here you go, a short selection of my favorite holiday music...


When I was a little kid, I couldn't WAIT for the Nutcracker to come on PBS, to me, it heralded in the season even more than the Peanuts Christmas Special or Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
Not an exciting video, but the music... amazing  :)It sometimes surprises my Pagan friends how much I love Christmas music.Truth is, I love both Pagan and Christian yuletide music.Of course, I do have a strange sense of humor...and maybe I'm a touch cynical at times...but not always  :)
What's YOUR favorite holiday song??And speaking of holidays,don't forget the Holiday Blog Hopstarting in just a few days!

This weeks recipe is also holiday inspired:My grandmother's walnut ball cookies
These are one of my all time favorites to make--and eat! They remind me of the woman who made Christmas special for me every year until she passed away in 1994. I still miss her and wish she could have lived to meet my daughter. 
Ingredients 1 1/2 lb unsalted butter (unsalted really is important here) at room temp.1 cup granulated sugar (plain white sugar)1 tsp. real vanilla extract (ALWAYS)3 cups all purpose flour (sifted)2 cups walnuts; I usually smash up about half of them so I've practically got walnut powder, and leave the rest as small bits. The walnut powder gives it a special texture. Confectioner's sugar to roll them in after they come out of the ovenThe method is easy. Cream together the butter and granular sugar, mix in the vanilla, then stir in the flour and walnuts. Yes, you'll need a strong arm, the dough is very stiff. (It's not a typo: no eggs, no milk, no water). You may want to divide the dough into quarters, and refrigerate what you're not working on at the moment. 
Roll the dough into bite sized (or so) balls; place on ungreased cookie sheet. Bake at 350 degrees (Fahrenheit)  for about 10 minutes, or until cookies are lightly golden brown. 
These guys will be VERY delicate, handle them with care; as soon as possible gently remove cookies from sheet and place them either in a shallow bowl or plate and coat with powdered (confectioner's) sugar--very, very gently. Yes, it's messy. Stack up on serving platter... or pour yourself some milk (or maybe something harder) and enjoy them while they're hot!

And just to confirm I'm a geek...this is the Christmas tree I really want!








Helen Pattskyn, Fantasy Artist, Gay Romance Author

Freedom and Censorship

Yesterday, my friend Shira Anthony posted on her Facebook wall about a page called Heterosexual Awareness Month. Yes, you read that correctly. My first thought was "why in bloody blue blazes do we need a month of awareness for something that everyone is already well aware of?" Then I clicked over to see what the HAM was all about. 
"The Nazi’s and Fascism were defeated,so to will the Gay Agenda be defeated.""Homophobia does not exist. It is a made up word designed to make heterosexuals feel guilty about being normal."
Some folks round the 'Net have postulated that the page may be a sort of "joke"--a bit of satire, perhaps. Or maybe it was just created by a couple of twelve year olds who don't know any better and think beaver and sausage jokes are funny (you'd have to see the page, but...yeah. Yuck.) That may be true, it might be satire. Gods, I hope it's satire. Even if it is, that doesn't change the fact that there are lots of people out there with the exact same views postulated on the page. The problem isn't that these people feel the way that they do, it's that they're trying to impose (or continue imposing) thier beliefs on the rest of us. We're all created equal...but some of us (them) are more equal than others. Heterosexuals have the right to get married; homosexuals, not so much. Protecting Traditional MarriageCase for Traditional MarriageFrom the webpage of Senator Patrick McHenryRestoring Family ValuesAnd of course four little letters: DOMA
So when I see someone who seems to think we need a special month to honor heterosexuals identity, even if they mean it as satire, it gets my dander up in a massive way. Heterosexual identity is all around us.
Remember, it wasn't until 20th century that many centuries worth of laws against homosexual acts were slowly started to be repealed. At one time, being gay and/or cross dressing was a hanging offense in England (and by "at one time, I'm talking less than two hundred years ago; when it ceaed to be a hanging offense it became punishable by hard time. Oscar Wilde did time in prison for being an outspoken gay man.)

As recently as the 1950's saw government persecution of homosexual men and women here in the U.S. Let's not forget Stonewall in the '70's. Before that, I don't think anyone had heard of Gay Pride.

So, me being me, I re-posted Shira's post. And got some unusual feedback. Censorship is a dangerous thing and it could just as easily backfire...and yes, it is and it can. How many LGBT rights/equality pages have been yanked by censors? 
And this is where it gets difficult for me. See, I do believe in free speech. Truly, I do. Censorship has never led to anything good. Everyone should have the right to say whatever they feel...but if my kid calls another kid a "nigger", I expect that there will be consequences and they won't be pretty, because "free speech" doesn't give anybody the right to be a biggot or a bully. (For the record, my kid knows better, the word we're fighting about is "retard", because it bothers me when it's bandied about carelessly). 
No, I don't think that To Kill a Mockingbird should be banned from schools because it uses the word nigger, To Kill a Mockingbird is a product of its era--yet the book always winds up on the banned/challenged list, mostly because the word nigger is taken out of context. Yes, it's a horrible word, but no, the author isn't making a racist statement (or more to the point, she does a very good job of painting the town racists in a dim light). 
But can you see where it's getting sticky? I am absolutely against censorship, yet I still have to ask myself, when does one person's right to free speech start to infringe on another person's rights to feel secure about themselves and the world in which they live? Where does one person's right to call some kid a faggot end and that child's right to feel safe begin? When does free speech turn into bullying? Is it all about perception? 
Well, yes, in a way. But it's also about common decency. Name calling hurts, plain and simple and if it hurts, it's wrong. There's a reason most of us would wash our kids' mouths out with soap for words like...you know, I don't even want to type it again. The point is, we teach our children not to call each other names because we know it's wrong. It's just as wrong for adults to do it--maybe more so.
Let's look at the issue of marriage, which seems to be the core issue on the Heterosexual Awareness Month page. I will truly never understand how one couple's marriage could possibly threaten the marriage of another couple, but there are a lot of people in this country and around the world who seem convinced that if same sex couples are allowed to marry, it will be the end of civilization as we know it. These fears are based largely on religious dogma. I'm not going to get into Biblical definition of marriage, because it's been done before, better than I ever could. 
Besides, technically, that shouldn't even BE an issue. See, in this country marriage is a legal contract . My first marriage was presided over by a witch. Yup. A bone fide Wiccan High Priestess. My second marriage was presided over by a judge. I needed a judge's signature to get out of both of them. (My third marriage was also presided over by a witch, too. Only technically we're not married because for personal reasons we never filed the paperwork with the state. We're just as happy being not married as we were not dating...you'd have to know us to understand *g*.) 
So what's the big deal with marriage? Marriage is more than a word. It means the ability to file joint taxes and guarantees certain rights, such as hospital visitation, the making of important medical decisions should your spouse be unable to make those decisions for him/herself. It means the right of inheritance. Can you imagine not being able to visit your dying spouse in the hospital? Or having the parents that kicked him/her out a decade ago sweep in and start making medical decisions? Seriously, marriage is something that those of who can do it take for granted. It's something we don't even think about--and we should. We should think about what it would be like to not be able to marry the person we love.
I do feel that no clergy person should be obliged to marry any couple he/she doesn't want to...oh, wait, they already have that right. Many clergy people won't preside over weddings for couples who don't belong to their church, or at least their specific denomination. So there isn't much chance of marriage equality infringing on the rights of clergy people, is there? What clergy people don't have the right to do (in a world that is fair and good) is tell people who don't belong to their church/religion who they can and cannot marry. It simply does not come under the purview of "clergy person" to dictate to everyone what they can and cannot do. And that's why this is such a sticky debate. There are groups of people out there who believe it is their God given right to dictate the actions and morality of everyone. 
Do they have the right to their opinion? Yes. Do they have the right to voice their opinion? Absolutely! 
But do they have the right to enforce it?   No . 
Do they have the right to be cruel? I guess that's up for debate. It's probably legal, even if it isn't right. 
Is the image to your left image truly hate speech? Probably not in the strictest legal sense of the term (Speech not protected by the First Amendment, because it is intended to foster hatred against individuals or groups based on race, religion, gender, sexual preference, place of national origin, or other improper classification.)  But it *is* clearly meant to make a particular group of people feel as if they are not "normal" for following their hearts. It is meant to hurt, to demean, to belittle. 
Is it wrong to make someone feel less than normal? I certainly think so. Bullying, particularly bullying of LGBT youth is on the rise. Kids are taking their own lives because they're being made to feel less than normal, less than worthy. They're made to feel as if they will never have a "normal" life, be able to marry who they choose, have children, be happy. 
Several cities in Russia have outlawed gay pride events and the promotion of "homosexual propaganda"; in other countries it's not just gay pride under attack. Men are beaten, jailed, murdered...women are "raped straight". Right here in the US--and in the UK and Canada and Europe--teenagers are being bullied to death by peers, sometimes teachers, and now this.
If Heterosexual Awareness Month is a joke, it's not a very funny one. 

It is easier to stay quiet than to speak up. It is easier to walk away from a fight than to engage in it. It is easier to pretend that a problem doesn't exist than it is to face it head on. But I made myself a promise a few years back that I would stand up for what I believed in my heart was right. You may not agree with me--that's your right. I'm *not* advocating censorship, I'm advocating basic human decency, compassion. Empathy. 
"Some Nights"byFun(click on the link, it's a cool article!)
Helen Pattskyn, Fantasy Artist, Gay Romance Author

World AIDS Day

If you read my post from Wednesday you know how I feel about the misinformed and sometimes downright cruel attitudes of some people towards those living with HIV. The fact that there's still a stigma attached to the disease after all these years is mind boggling. Ignorance isn't going to win the fight against AIDS (or anything else for that matter). Ignorance will only make the situation worse--and that's a damned scary thought. Consider this:
AIDS has killed 30 million people (and counting) worldwide.While in the US, gay men are considered the most "at risk" group, that isn't true in all parts of the world. In Africa, women and children are the ones most frequently infected with HIV; anyone who calls HIV/AIDS a "gay disease" isn't just a bigot who needs a good smack upside the head, they're ignorant, and need to wake up and smell reality (and for once, I will not apologize for getting up on my soap box).HIV (the virus that causes AIDS) isn't a bigot; it couldn't care less what a person's sexual orientation is and will cheerfully infect anyone it comes into contact with--the virus is spread through bodily fluids: blood, semen, vaginal secretions, and breast milk. It ISN'T spread through sweat or saliva; you certainly can't catch HIV simply by being in the same room as someone with HIV, or by giving someone a hug or shaking their hand. And yes, I realize I'm probably preaching to the choir, here.There are over 34 million people in the world living with HIV.The good news is that with proper treatment, people with HIV can live healthy, productive lives. HIV is no longer a death sentence. The bad news is that proper treatment costs money and in this global economy cuts are being made to even the most crucial of social and medical programs. If you'd like your voice to be heard, here's a petition from One.org (click here) calling for continued funding for care around the globe (it's aimed at the U.S. Congress).Living with HIV isn't a walk in the park. It might not be sentence it was 20 years ago, but antiretroviral drugs carry major side effects--and that's on top of the social stigma (go back to Wednesday's post for some shining examples of human idiocy). There are way too many people who are infected and don't know it. Okay, in my opinion ONE is too many, but the statistics are pretty staggering. The first step in stopping this thing is for people to know their status, get educated, get medical treatment (easier said than done, I know), and protect both themselves and their partners (which IS just as easily said as it is done). The next step in winning the fight is putting an end to the stigma, which goes back to getting educated AND showing support. A long time ago (or at least it feels like a long time ago), I made myself a promise; I said that I was going to stop being quiet about the things that were important to me. I'm not a social activist, I'm just an ordinary person. But I pledge to speak my mind, to openly and vocally support equal rights in marriage, health care, and everything else for everyone, regardless of...well, anything. Diseases don't care whether you're young or old, black or white or Latino or whatnot, they don't give a shit if you're gay or straight or bi or undecided; they don't care if you're male or female or somewhere in between, both or neither. HIV can affect anyone--and it doesn't just affect the person infected. It affects their friends, their families. Why, then, are we as human beings so fixated on ethnicity, orientation, gender, and age? We ALL deserve to love and be loved, we all deserve to be healthy and happy. Let's end the ignorance. 



You can buy red ribbons and red ribbon jewelry all over the web, and probably where you live, but with just a little searching, you can find artisans and organizations who either donate a portion of their profits to charity or are non-profit orgs that things like jewelry and clothing as part of their fundraising efforts. Personally, that makes me feel a whole lot better than buying a pin or pendant from some mega corp out to make a buck. (I bought a lovely pair of red ribbon earrings on Etsy.) 





Helen Pattskyn, Fantasy Artist, Gay Romance Author

Would you date someone...

with HIV?

That's more of a rhetorical question than something I'm asking readers (although as always, comments are welcome). It's something I had to think about long and hard as I started wading through my WIP (currently at 110,000 words and almost ready to submit, ONLY six months late!) This book has turned into an incredibly emotional piece for me; I only hope my (very patient) publisher likes it as much as I do.

I'm a child of the 80's--as in, I was a teenager during the 1980's, I graduated from high school in 1987. I lived a fairly sheltered life as a kid, raised by a fairly sheltered and conservative grandmother. So I hadn't ever heard of GRID, but sometime when I was in high school, AIDS became front page news. Of course back then it was still considered a "gay issue" by a lot of (ignorant) people (some willfully ignorant, some honestly so). I don't remember them talking about it much in Health class, although to be honest, I'm glad they talked about what was the more commonly called STDs (not STIs) and contraception at all.

I remember watching An Early Frost in 1985 and understanding it...sort of. I didn't understand what exactly AIDS was or where it had come from (no one really did) How had it become such an epidemic and why couldn't "they" (scientists and doctors) do something about it?

While we have the answers to a couple of those questions, I know the others are things we're all still asking ourselves.

And that leads back to the opening question. I'll admit it's one I never thought about myself; maybe I should have, I was single for a pretty long time, and intermittently in between marriages, but maybe it's one of those things most people don't think about until they're confronted with it. That's what happens to Pasha, one of the main characters in my book Hanging by the Moment. (Yes, I was listening to Lifehouse when I came up with that title). Like me, he's bumbling through life (although he's only 25--because the only "age crisis" I ever had was just before my 25th birthday), and meets this amazing guy. Daniel is...well, nobody's perfect, but Daniel is sweet, sexy, funny, and he looks at Pasha like one else in the room is worth paying attention to. You know that look.

They have in incredible first date and talk every day for a week. And then Daniel has to come clean: he has HIV.

I didn't set out to write a story about someone with HIV--I'm woefully unqualified. But there I was writing away and my characters hijacked the story on me. And there I was suddenly writing a serious piece about something I'd never thought about myself. What would Pasha say? What would he do? What would *I* do?

So I went online and I Googled the question; I also posted it myself on Yahoo Answers.

I've got to be honest, some of the answers made me almost physically ill. I'm not sharing some of them here to embarrass anybody (but I figure if you type it on a public forum, it IS fair game), and the best way to illustrate the heartbreaking ignorance of the situation is to let these answers speak for themselves:

Question (asked by someone else)
Would you ever consider dating someone who was HIV positive?? I met someone 6 months ago who I fell for the moment we met. We went on a few dates, had a great time, then he told me that he was HIV positive. I told him that i could not get into a relationship with him because of his situation.

Did i do the right thing?? I still really have feelings for him and i'm wondering if i made a mistake by turning him away. Serious answers only.

"Best" Answer:
hell no girl snap out of it, its your life your probley young 
and you have your whole life ahead of you. dont do it.
break it off fast and clean. you will get over him fast there is 
plenty of fish in the sea so protect yourself and dont be shy 
and dont feel guilty about saying no and dumping him.

Here's another answer to the very same post:

RUN TO THE HILLS, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! 

Here's another answer to the question "would you date someone with HIV?":

Personally, I could never do it, as I plan on entering the health-care field and that would be a major risk to myself, not to mention my patients!!!
I don't think I would want a health care "professional" with so little understanding of HIV. I hope that person has changed their mind after becoming more informed. 

Here are a few more:

uhhhh isn't it at least somewhat likely to get hiv from dating someone with HIV even if u use protection? Why take the risk?

thats really sad for people who do have those illnesses, but the fact is no. its a health risk. i would be there friend ,but no intament reaction. people with aids/hiv should date each other.

I don't know, would you WANT a friend who felt that way? I don't think I would. Kinda like when I had a "friend" who didn't date black girls (but could be their friend). It just felt too much like racism to me; we didn't stay friends for long. I also can't be too friendly with anyone who is transphobic or homophobic. It just doesn't jive. (And yes, I have said before that I tend not to date too far outside my religion, and it's true, I don't. But I never turned anyone down flat because of their religion, I just made sure he or she went into it knowing what MY views are. If we can agree to disagree, I'm cool with however you worship...as long as we share core ethical values when it comes to tolerance and education). Anyway, moving right along....some more answers that made me alternately want to scream and cry:

nope sorry i could not do it i am not going to lose my life over someone elses mistakes. If i had it I would have to be happy alone......because why would you want anyone to suffer they way you do!!!

If I was dying of cancer with 2yrs to live..sure.

Thats like asking would you date someone with a bomb strapped to their body, hell no.

there are much quicker ways to commit suicide.

absolutely not!! Relationships are difficult enough without adding the "death by sex" equasion into it.


Here's a doozy: 

If she was a very beautiful woman I would. If other women saw me with her they would think I must be someone really special, if I was able to get her, and maybe I could get one of these other women to date me.  I'd date her, I would'nt touch her.

I kinda wish I was making at least that last one up.

That last bunch are from a het. dating site. There were a couple of responses to the question that were so inflammatory I was seeing red and really wished I couple put my boot up someone's butt (that last little weasel just needs a good smack).

But straight people don't have the market cornered on ignorance or stupidity, there were plenty of responses on gay dating sites that made my heart hurt just as badly. AND there were some incredible uplifting stories of great HIV+ guys and mixed status (or serodiscordant) relationships that were strong and healthy (in every sense of the word) that just made me smile and inspired me to keep writing about Pasha and Daniel.

It also made me sit down and think about what my own answer would be, if I weren't married/in a happy stable relationship (despite my occasional urge to kill him) would I date someone who was HIV + ?  It wouldn't be easy. I do know how you can (and can't) contract the disease, but that wouldn't stop me from being uneasy--but I also know me. I know my heart.

If I could be someone's friend, if I could love that person unconditionally AS a friend, if I could fall in love with them, how could I possibly allow three (albeit scary) little letters stop me from building a life with that person? Of course I would fly into a panic at every cold, but I would do my best not to let it show. Of course I would be afraid that I would outlive my partner...but then again, I could get hit by a bus crossing the street tomorrow. No one knows what the future holds. I could get sick myself with some awful condition...and it's not like heart health runs in my family. Would I want somebody saying to me "I can't love you because you might die of heart disease?" Yes, it's a might where as HIV is more of a certainty, but in reality the only thing that is truly uncertain is how long any of us has on this planet.

We don't (well, we DO) need a vaccine against HIV, so much as we need a vaccine against ignorance--and to quote a great man, "The vaccine against ignorance is education." (Thank you, Edward James Olmos!)

Here's a great place to start getting educated:
The Body.Com

After reading post after post of ignorant, hurtful, and sometimes down right HATEFUL statements, I was more determined than ever to learn more and to write the best damned novel I could.



More information: HIV/AIDS timeline Ask Alice (I love this site) Dating Someone with HIV (basic answers that SHOULD be common knowledge by now Just the facts, ma'am
End the Stigma
In the News (Huffington Post)
Dating, Marriage, Family Hope for a real cure (there's a long way to gobut the news is better than it's ever been)


This time of year, I start thinking of warm foods. Hearty meals. Thick soup. Rich sauce. Okay, not so good for the waistline, but if you don't over indulge it's okay once in a while!


This recipe is actually a combination of two dishes and one of my favorite meals:Greens in peanut sauce and Chicken in peanut sauce
Ingredients: 
2 chicken breasts (boneless skinless) – although any cut of chicken will work
Approximately 8-10 oz. of your favorite greens (kale, collard greens, mustard greens, even spinach)—this is one of those places where I eyeball it a little. If you're a bunch rather than a bag, one bunch is probably about right. (Basically, you can add as much or as little as you like, we usually end up using a little over 2/3 of a 16 oz bag.)
1 or 2 small hot peppers (habanero, scotch bonnet, etc.) OR ¼ teaspoon cayenne or other powdered/dry hot pepper… remember if you like it spicy, you can always kick it up a notch, but you can’t take the peppers out once they’re in!

1 clove of garlic, minced (and yes, you can use powdered if you like, it really won't affect the taste)--and again, you can adjust the garlic to taste
2  14.5 oz cans of chunked tomatoes (I usually use the ones w/ onion and garlic)—you’ll be using the juice and all.


1 small onion, sautéed—if you’re not using the tomatoes w/ onion in, you’ll want to make that two; I usually use Spanish onions for this one
1 1/2 cups peanut butter; I usually use creamy, but there’s no rule against chunky
Oil for sautéing—peanut oil would be perfect, sesame also has a great flavor, and of course olive oil is the old standby
Optional: green onions (slivered) and crushed peanuts to garnish
Optional: four or five slices crispy bacon, chopped OR bacon salt
Method
This is my method; I do as much in one pan as humanly possible. Warning, you WILL need a big skillet. If you don’t have a big skillet, you may need to do the chicken part and then the sauce and greens part. And of course if you wanted to make it really pretty, you might want to sauté the chicken breasts, set them aside, make the sauce and greens, put that on a platter, top with the breasts and then garnish for a lovely presentation that will knock your guests socks off…but if it’s just you and your cat, nobody needs to be impressed! Likewise if it’s just you and Fluffy, you can cut the recipe in half  ;-)  (By the way, don’t actually feed anything with onions in it to Fluffy or Fido! Onions are bad for our four footed children. Something about the alum).
Dice your raw onion and sauté on low heat until the translucent; add in the diced hot pepper and garlic.
I like to cut up the chicken for this one into large bite sized pieces (so really two bite pieces) and add it to the same pan and cook until done (chicken will be a nice golden brown)
Add tomato and juice and then slowly stir in the peanut butter
While this comes back up to temperature (and all the flavors get a good chance to marry), give the greens a rough chop and add them to the pan and cook on very low heat until the greens are soft. (10-20 minutes, depending on what kind of greens you're using). 
Give it a good stir, garnish with green onions, bacon, and nuts as desired and serve.


And above all, don't forget the important stuff about today's blog.

Unfortunately, we do not yet yet have a cure or a vaccine against HIV.
But we do have a vaccine against ignorance.Education. 
HIV is a scary wordbut it's not a dirty word.
Let's end the stigma together.






Helen Pattskyn, Fantasy Artist, Gay Romance Author

My favorite...

Angels...
....of the cinematic variety, that is.
After writing last week's Saturday post, I realized I'd left out another of my favorite (and versatile  although maybe not as much so as Weaving and D'Onofrio) actors. 
Alan Rickman--you know, the guy who played Severus Snape. That guy who could (IMO) make the telephone directory sound sexy. He was also in Sense and Sensibility as a quiet nobleman, Galaxy Quest, as an actor playing the alien science officer, he played the title role in a television movie called Rasputin, and the angel Metatron in one of my favorite films, Dogma.



Which got me thinking about my other two favorite Hollywood angels...or, rather my favorite Hollywood angel who has been portrayed, in separate films, by two of my favorite actors. 

Tilda Swinton 


and Christopher Walken



There are other cinematic versions of Gabriel, of course, but of the ones I've seen, these two are the absolute best--so much so that I've never been able to decide which Gabriel I loved more. They're both "bad guys", but they're the kinds of bad guys whose points you can kinda see. And in some ways, their points are similar. We monkeys have it good in God's eyes, but we fail to appreciate it. Both actors did a magnificent job portraying slightly over the edge angels--and both Swinton and Walken are amazingly well rounded actors to boot. 
So... any opinions? Who's the better Gabriel, Tilda or Christopher? I'd love to hear what readers think. 
While we're on the subject of angels, my favorite cinema/literature "angel" of all times is still the Crow, who while not a traditional Judeo-Christian angel, embodies the spirit of an angel rather better than any chubby faced "cherub" (look up cherub, and you'll understand why I put that in quotes).  I am somewhat more partial to the movie version of the Crow than the graphic novel version, and definitely just the first movie. Somehow the others seemed to miss the mark. 

this is the original cover artwork
 and by far my favorite;
currently the book has different
cover art which is just... meh
I know it's the insides that
count, but people really DO
judge books by their covers.


My favorite book about angels continues to be To Reign in Hell , by Steven Brust (seen on the right). I'm currently reading Clovenhoof by Heide Goody and Iain Grant, and so far, I'm totally enjoying the ride!
And lastly...a very different sort of Angelfrom Rent, Angel (the gorgeous drag queen in red) and Collins singing I'll Cover youand I'm sure Law and Order fans will beas impressed as I was at Jesse's performance!I had no idea the man could sing like that.
By the way, it's this first version thatDaniel and his friend Erika singin my WIP  Hanging by the Moment When I saw the movie version of  Rent I knew I wanted to include something about itin Hanging by the Moment.
HIV is an important theme in Hanging by the Momentand of course it's a HUGE part of Rent.
Here's the reprise of I'll Cover You from Angel's funeral this is the stage version:and again, Jesse's voice just blows me awayso does the fact that the same song can be so uplifting and so heart wrenchingHelen Pattskyn, Fantasy Artist, Gay Romance Author

Thankful

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving here in the United States. As a result, I've been doing just a tiny bit of research on Thanksgiving's history. Without getting into sad details, I wasn't the least bit surprised by what I found. The short version: the happy pilgrims and Native Americans we see in elementary school plays are a farce created by Caucasian historians. What a shock (not). 
But that doesn't mean we shouldn't take the day to spend with friends and family (that is, the family we chose, not necessarily the one we were foisted onto upon our birth), and to say "thank you" for all the good things in our lives. See, I know it's easy to complain; guilty as charged. Sometimes I think we even forget about all the really wonderful things in our lives. 
So let me begin: I am thankful to have a roof over my head--one that I only owe a little bit more on that it's currently worth! I am super thankful my husband has a decent job; he's a chef who works 40 hours a week plus benefits and a retirement plan. I'm also thankful that he's one step above a peon and one step below management (i.e., when it comes time for layoffs, the middle is usually hit the least hard, so I've learned to stop totally panicking every he tells me there are going to be more layoffs at the hospital where he works). 
I'm thankful to have such a wonderful family; my husband and daughter, as well as my husband's amazing family, and my daughter's grandfather. We've got some pretty awesome four-footed family members, too. 
I'm grateful to my friends, both my in person friends, the people I see every week--or just once a year (once a decade?), but who are very real parts of my life. Some are old friends, people I've known since elementary school or high school. Some are new friends, people I've only just met this last year, but cherish nonetheless. Some are people I've know for a couple of years and who continue to enrich my life through their love and friendship. 
I'm also grateful to my not-quite-real-life friends; people I know strictly through emails, but are friends nonetheless...but one of these days I *am* visiting Finland!  I'll even make broccoli soup. 
I've also met some truly wonderful people through my writing and I'll always be grateful to my fanfic readers, many of whom have exchanged emails with me--but some are just really nice folks who made me smile every time I saw their name on a review. 
And of course I am extremely thankful for the wonderful people over at Dreamspinner Press. I've been so swamped and overwhelmed with stuff this summer that I'm hopelessly behind on submitting promised books and Elizabeth has been nothing but kind and patient. The rest of the staff that I've had interactions with are so wonderful...I feel so very lucky to be a part of the Dreamspinner family of authors. I've never met such a wonderful, warm, accepting bunch of people. (Trust me, some of my previous experiences in other places really made me gun shy!) I am *really* looking forward to the get together next spring--and I'm super grateful that it's in Chicago where a very good friend of mine lives! I can't wait to visit. 
Above all, I'm thankful to the Powers that Be for providing me what I've needed to get through this past year. It was a really rough one for my family--and in that, I know we're not alone. It's been rough for a lot of people. When I say I'm grateful for the blessings in my life, that doesn't mean I don't acknowledge the hardships or that I'm trying to play Pollyanna, just that for everything that goes wrong there's at least one thing that goes right--usually more than one. But sometimes we forget about the good things when the bad things overwhelm us. 
If you feel like taking a moment to share, by all means, tell me what you're thankful for--especially if it's something you tend to take for granted (like me and my super awesome wonderful husband who has supported me through the last year; he is truly my rock.)
And...on a much lighter note, as we prepare for Thanksgiving here in the U.S., I want y'all to 'fess up. How many of you will be serving this tomorrow:

Okay, so maybe you fancy it up a little:

 


I don't know if cranberry "sauce" is a strictly American tradition or not, but that is NOT cranberry sauce. THIS is:



For the record, these pictures aren't mine; I'll be making mine on Thursday morning, but that one right above looks a LOT like the sauce I make. 
I make it at the last minute because it is so easy there's no reason to make it ahead of time--and no reason to serve that canned jellied stuff either.
Ingredients:for my small family, this is the recipe I use; you can easily double it
Leftover cranberry sauce makes for great crepes! It can also be stirred into muffin batter, or turned into a quick tart. 1/2 lb fresh or frozen cranberries (if you buy fresh you can freeze the extras) 1 cup plain white sugar1/3 cup water (I often substitute white wine. Or red. One year, I made it with tequila; vodka would probably work pretty well, too. But I'm a tequila girl  ;-)1 orange, zested. You don't need a fancy tool, just a cheese grater (fine) and a little patienceYou'll also want a squeeze half that orange for its juice--the rest makes a great snack while you're cooking because if you're like me, you completely skip breakfast and just suck down a cup of coffee while you're cooking! 4 or 6 whole cloves (or a 1/8 teaspoon powder)1/4 teaspoon ground allspice1/8 teaspoon (or a few shakes) ground nutmeg1/8 (or a few shakes) ground ginger
All of the spices are totally optional; don't like ginger, leave it out. Like a less spicy sauce, use less. Don't want any spice? No sweat. Want to add cinnamon or use that oriental five spice I love so much? Have at it! 
I know what you're thinking, you're looking at that list and thinking that can of cranberry jelly is looking good, but trust me.
Take all of the ingredients EXCEPT for the orange zest and dump them into a pan. Okay, I usually add the water, then the sugar and then the rest, but seriously it's not crucial. Put the pan on the stove and bring to a gentle simmer (medium heat to start, then low heat once the water starts to bubble). You'll want to give it an occasional stir, but it doesn't need serious babysitting, you're free to do other stuff while this is going. Most directions say that it only takes ten minutes; I usually let my cranberries simmer for closer to fifteen because I like them soft. You may need to add water as it evaporates. 
When the sauce is done, remove it from the heat, add the orange zest, give it a good stir, and put it in whatever pretty serving bowl you've got. Voila. Done. 
Except for the part where you taste it and vow to never go back to that canned stuff ever again  :D
Be sure to stop back here on Saturday for a special post...okay, the post isn't so special, but I'm giving something away.
And if you look on the sidebar, you'll notice I'm doing another Blog Hop!







Helen Pattskyn, Fantasy Artist, Gay Romance Author

Two of my favorite actors...

Vincent D'Onofrio and Hugo Weaving
I've talked about Vincent D'Onofrio before. But sometimes something is so good you have to talk about it (or him) more than once! See, Vincent D'Onofrio isn't the most gorgeous man in the world (although I wouldn't kick him out of bed just for eating crackers, either); he's not the sexiest. His roles aren't the "hottest". He's never been in a blockbuster movie. Or, rather, he has, but... well, he played the space cockroach in the Edgar suit and Wil Smith and Tommy Lee Jones got top billing (and deservedly so)--but where would they have been without the villain? 
Of course, Law and Order fans recognize D'Onofrio is the slightly off beat Bobby Goren (has it ever been confirmed that Bobby has asperger's syndrome? That's what it's always looked like to me, not that I'm really any kind of medical expert or anything). 
Anyway, the first time I blogged about D'Onofrio was after seeing The Velocity of Gary (not his real name), in which he played a bisexual porn actor.  Recently I saw another quirky movie with him in it Happy Accidents. You have to get all the way to the end to find out whether or not his character is insane or really from the future.  In The Cell he played serial killer Carl Stargher (as well as Stargher's interior alter egos). In Ed Wood he played Orson Welles. And in Mystic Pizza he plays a very ordinary guy who eventually gets the girl (who also happens to be one of my favorite actors Lili Taylor).

Hugo Weaving is a name you might not recognize. But if I say Agent Smith, from The Matrix Trilogy  and Elrod from The Lord or the Rings Trilogy, you'll probably know who I mean. He also played the role of (bisexual?) drag queen Anthony "Tick" Belrose aka Mitzi Del Bra in Priscilla Queen of the Desert, V in V for Vendetta, Johann Schmidt aka The Red Skull in Captain America, and Inspector Abberline in Wolfman. 

Weaving has dozens of other film credits to his name, but those are those first three (Smith, Elrod, and Tick/Mitzi) that always stick out in my mind, because seriously anybody who can pull of such diversity is an A list actor in my book, regardless of what Hollywood thinks! (And yes, I've read some of the controversy over some of Weaving's comments, but he sounds more honest than snarky, where as some of the people writing about him come across as down right nasty. I have no idea what the man is like as a human being, but he's a great actor). 

What about you, got any favorite actors who aren't on Hollywood's A list?
Helen Pattskyn, Fantasy Artist, Gay Romance Author

Choosing a Publisher

Ever since I got my first two contracts (in rapid succession of one another) last year, I've been fielding questions about publishing and publishers. Some of the people I've talked to (mostly other writers) have just wondered about the process, how I found my publisher, whether or not it was a paying gig (because there are a lot of vanity presses/shysters out there, folks!), was I paid an advance, and how the process went--i.e. would I recommend my publisher to someone else or tell them to stay clear? (For the record, both Dreamspinner and Clerisy are awesome!) These are all very good questions.
Other people have come at me with stars in their eyes because they or their sister/brother/aunt/best friend/ect. wrote a book and "Gee you're published, will knowing you get me in at YOUR publisher?" Not really, I'm pretty much nobody--but let's start with the important question: did your brother/sister/aunt/best friend/ect. write a book that my publisher would even WANT? I'm not talking about whether or not it was well written, I'm talking about the fact that both Dreamspinner Press and Clerisy Press are small, niche market publishers. 
Dreamspinner publishers m/m romance. Period. Clerisy publishes books about sports, sports medicine, health and fitness, nutrition, business and "certain types of travel books"--that would be where I happened to fit in. After I wrote the book that would eventually become my first published novel, Heart's Home, I knew I had to do something with it. The natural "something" was to find a publisher. Or. Two. Make that as many as I could scrounge up, because typically a book gets dozens of rejection letters before someone finally decides to publish it.
Now, before we go any further, let me point out that there are LOTS of reasons for a manuscript to be rejected. Publishers only put out so many books in a year. The editorial staff is only so big, there's only so much money they have to spend, there's just a place where a publisher can't handle another book. Most publishers publish more than one genre and try to put out a reasonably balanced catalog (or at least they have some idea that this year they're going to publish X number of contemporaries, X number of sci-fi novels, etc.) Also, they're not going to sign your book if they've just singed a book with a very similar plot. It's not that your book isn't good, it's that they don't need both titles and the other guy got there first. 
And of course, they might not think your book was good enough. You MAY be the next J.K. Rowling...but they don't think so. Look at how many rejections J.K. got before someone finally accepted Harry Potter. It's just a part of the business. Accept that up front and don't take rejection letters to heart. Maintain a professional attitude (at least in public).
So. I wrote this book and I loved it and I knew I wanted to get it out there. I was already reading m/m romance, so I had a few publishers to put on my list. I knew that Dreamspinner put out quality products and have a kick ass customer service department (I had an issue with an audio book I was trying to download--a case of computer ineptness on my part--and it was resolved immediately by a very patient person in the office. I really don't remember who, but she was incredibly kind. Believe me, if you're an author, you want to work with someone who treats their customers well. Customers can and will go somewhere else if they get the shaft.)
In the name of research (honest!), I made a point of buying books from a couple of other publishers as well. Did the physical books look good? Was the page layout professional looking, or did it look like something I would do in Word? How was the spine? Did the pages fall out or stay put? I've seen more shoddy production of books than I care to think about back when I was working in a library. I spent HOURS cataloging this stupid graphic novel; it got checked out TWICE and pages started falling out. Not good. Not good for the average consumer, either. I looked at eBooks, too. What format/platforms were available? How did they look on my PC? Now that I have a Kindle, I'd want to know how they look there, too. A published book must LOOK like a published book, folks, regardless of format (paper/electronic). Were the publisher's websites user friendly? Were their books available at third party sites (Amazon). Very important consideration. Also, were their books riddled with typos? Did the cover art look professional or did it look like a bad photoshop job?I also outlined my personal criteria, because for me, it was very important to have a physical book I could hold in my hands. A lot of publishers, especially of romance, are electronic publishers only. And that's fine (I do literally a hundred to one electronic vs. print sales). But I really wanted a physical book.
Now, obviously, I couldn't buy one book from every publisher out there (there's only so much "research I can credibly do before my husband gives me the stink eye!) so for publishers a little further down on my list, I looked at sample chapters on Amazon, to check out formatting and scan for typos. (Typos happen; editors are human too, but if in one sample chapter this little spellling-challenged writer can spot more than two typos, there's something rotten in Denmark, folks). 
I'm also a bit of a snob. I looked at plot summaries and asked myself: Do you want your book sitting next to THAT?! There is at least one publisher out there who didn't make my list because I would rather self publish than have my book sitting in with all that drek. And obviously someone must buy it it...but yeah. I'm a snob. Besides their covers fall into the category of bad photoshop jobs. 
In order to find more publishers, I went over to Amazon and typed m/m romance into the search field. I clicked on book after book after book and skimmed down to see who the publisher was. 
I visited each publisher's website. I read their submission page. I took notes:What do they accept? What do they prefer? My book was an historical fantasy/paranormal--do they take historcals? Do they take paranormals? Are they interested in fantasy? If the publisher says "at this time we are only interested in contemporaries and westerns", do NOT send them your space vampires or Victoran werewovles. They don't want them. I don't care what they've published in the past, the submissions page will tell you want they want NOW. Many publishers have put a cap on the length of a manuscript. Heart's Home is about 90,000 words; some publishers cap at 90K. Some at 60K.  Don't send a publisher a 500,000 word manuscript if they only want books 75K or shorter! I know I tend to write long; publishers who only take 60K manuscripts made my list...but they were at the bottom of it. I knew they wouldn't be interested in Heart's Home, and I knew I wouldn't likely write a book that short, but there's nothing wrong with keeping a good list of resources. READ THE SUBMISSIONS PAGE CAREFULLY. What's the submission process; it is vital to give an editor EXACTLY WHAT THEY ASK FOR. The best way to get your manuscript tossed into the circular file is to send it in in some elaborate font in purple type. UNLESS that's what they say they want (not especially likely). It won't make you look clever or make your book stand out (in a good way). You'll look like an idiot incapable of following basic directions. Editors get dozens, if not hundreds, of manuscripts each week. Your ms and cover letter should be EXACTLY what they specify they want. What are the terms of their contract? A reputable publisher will tell anyone who visits their submissions page the bare bones of the contract, i.e., is there an advance, if so, how much, and what they pay in royalties. Those aren't trade secrets. It isn't unusual for small presses not to offer an advanceRoyalties can vary wildly; decide what you're comfortable with AND look at the retail cost of their books. A fifty percent royalty might sound awesome, but not if they're selling eBooks for two or three bucks. Harlequin pays notoriously low royalties--but you'll probably sell a lot more books than if you go through a small publisher. YOU have to decide what works for YOU and rank publishers accordingly. And yes, you may find you have to compromise. There's a reason my list had a top, middle, and bottom--not to mention a few publishers who weren't even on it. Always start at the top of your list and work your way downNever, EVER pay for editing or cover art; if a publisher asks you to pay for ANYTHING(related to the publishing process), they're NOT someone worth dealing with. Remember, you're going to be making at most a couple of bucks per book. Why exactly should you also hire your own editor? Easy: you shouldn't.DO expect to be responsible for your own copyright protection (that's a thirty five dollar fee that you pay to the U.S. copyright office). Think it's not important? Read THISDO expect to be doing a lot of your own PR work. (You should not, however, have to hire a consultant or provide them with marketing plan--yes, I got told that once by a publisher. I smiled, nodded, and moved on.) Doing your own PR means tweeting, blogging, facebooking, and going to subject related conventions. I also looked at things like how long any given publisher had been around and how many books they'd put out to get some idea of how stable the company looked. If a publisher says they've been around for three years and has a back catalog of three books, something's off. There's nothing wrong with going with a new publisher, but beware the risks The last step in compiling a list is to visit Preditors and Editors [sic] and the Absolute Write Water Cooler and do a search for the publishers on your list to see if anyone else has claimed to have had problems with them. By the way, all of that goes for non-fiction as well as fiction. Read the submissions page carefully; submitting to a non-fiction publisher sometimes means sending a full manuscript, but often times they will accept a proposal. Determine if your book or idea is a fit--not a decent match, an EXACT fitFollow the publisher's submission guidelines TO THE LETTERDon't pay for the services a publisher is supposed to cover. Visit Preditors and Editors and Absolute WriteDo expect to do a lot of your own legwork for PRI got the job to write Ghosthunting Michigan by keeping my eyes on freelance writing websites. Ninety nine percent of the jobs on those boards are CRAP. But every once in a while there's something good. 
First, what do I mean by crap? Write a thousand word blog for five bucks (sometimes less). Do NOT go there. The average payout for writing is 2 to 3 cents a word. That means for every hundred words write, you should get two or three dollars. No, that's not a lot. A good pay is 5 cents a word. Don't ever settle for less than a penny a word. Unless you're writing a gratis piece for a reputable 'zine because it's a byline and bylines are important, they're how you build your resume. You won't build your resume blogging about kitchen gadgets for somebody else's blog, for less than chicken feed. It is a complete and utter waste of time. If you want to blog, get a blog and blog your heart out. You also won't build your career ghostwriting for other people...but if the pay is fair you MIGHT pay your electric bill that way and that might be important enough to consider letting someone else put their name on your hard work. Just make sure the pay is fair. And yes, sometimes magazines have flat story rates and those vary and are sometimes pretty small, but when you publish something in a good magazine, get to add that magazine to your resume. 
Where was I? Oh yeah, GHMI. The series editor, John Katchuba, posted a notice on one of the freelance writing boards that he was looking for someone to write Ghosthunting Michigan. It looked pretty cool, so I googled the John's name and saw that he looked pretty legit. He'd written a couple of books and there were several books already out in the series in question. They were published by Clerisy press. I googled Clerisy. They also looked totally legit. (I.e. this is a real publisher and not a vanity press). I ran them by Preditors and Editors and nothing came up (that's usually a good sign, it means nobody's pissed at them). 
So I answered the ad, and gave John EXACTLY what he asked for. 
During the course of a few emails, I clarified that it wasn't a ghostwriting gig, that I would get a byline, (because 60K words is too much for me to let somebody else get the credit for, sorry). I also wanted some idea of what the contract looked like; i.e. royalties and advance. Yes, and yes. I kept my emails professional, short, and polite. I wanted the job :D 
On a last note, I've mentioned vanity presses a couple of times. I have absolutely NOTHING against self publishing. What I'm against is someone charging you thousands of dollars to do it for you. 
You can hire a good cover artist for two to three hundred dollars. A good editor will run between one and four hundred, often depending on the level of editing you need/want. I don't recall how much it is to buy an ISBN, but it's not expensive and it's not hard (if you go through Amazon or Lulu, they'll do all the work for you, you just pay the fee--and that's ALL you pay them, unless you need help formatting...and PDF formatting isn't that hard. I've done it through Lulu and I am NOT the most technically savvy person on the planet. I had to ask my kid how to send a text message!) 
If you can't find a publisher--or a publisher you want to work with--there is nothing wrong with self pubbing. Just be smart and do your homework. (And no, really you DO Need professional cover art and an editor). 
Whew. Who's hungry after all that?
A while back, I had a real craving for feta cheese. It’s honestly one of my favorite cheeses (marscapone, cream, and ricotta being the other three…oh and munster. Munster is definitely my cheese of choice for sandwiches…but I digress. As usual).
So. Feta cheese + chicken = Greek Chicken(one of my persona recipes--i.e., I made it up all by myself!)
Ingredients:
the following is for ONE serving1 or 2 thighs OR one breast 2 Tablespoons of feta (or, just as much as you can heap on!)1/4 lemon, squeezed (okay, I usually use a little more, but I LOVE lemon and chicken)Olive oil (although I’m still using soy oil, since it’s what we have; any light oil will work)--you just need enough to coat the bottom of your pan so you can brown the chickenEnough water to cover the bottom of the pan in about half of an inch of water; it’s safe to eyeball it, no need to whip out a rulerGarlic powder, dried thyme, dried oregano, and dried basil to taste (I tend to go heavy on the garlic and just sprinkle the others, lightest on the thyme and basil; thyme is a little strong, but I love the flavor)3 or 8 grape or cherry tomatoes, cut lengthwise.  (I can usually fit 3 or 4 decent sized grape tomatoes on one thigh)if you love olives and want to make it even prettier, garnish with sliced olivesOptional: some broccoli florets for the side. I happen to really love broccoli with lemonAlso optional: a splash of white wine. Basically, if I have a bottle open, I’ll splash some into the pan; if not, no sweat
Method:
If you're using a chicken breast, I recommend butterfyling it (cutting it in half lenghtwise)Heat the oil (remember, olive oil takes a higher temp than anything else); I use a medium heat; brown the meat on both sides.Pour in water (yes, it will splatter), wine (if using it) and lemon juice; sprinkle on spices. Do not turn the meat back over, but leave the spice-side up for the duration. Cover, and cook on low heat for 10 minutes, adding more water if necessary. Carefully heap on the cheese; cover and cook for another five or six minutes, or until the cheese looks melty (again, add more water if necessary)If you're cooking broccoli with your meal, this is a good time to add it to the pan; I usually squeeze some more lemon juice directly to the broccoli. After the broccoli is cooked to however you like it cooked go onto the last step:Add the tomatoes, then cover the pan and turn off the heat; the idea is to get the tomatoes heated, not cook them (it's a personal preference  you can add the tomatoes when you add the cheese if you like them that way). Serve with a garnish of sliced olives and more lemon juice if you like zesty, lemony chickenThis dish would be great served with rice or orzo and a light garlic sauce or just more lemon. (Or garlic AND lemon). It would also go really well with a little tabouli salad.
Helen Pattskyn, Fantasy Artist, Gay Romance Author

Happy Saturday!

I had an amazingly productive not quite two week vacation. I'm STILL plugging away on that WIP; on the upside, I know I'm not the only writer out there right now struggling with stuff. But, just to update, over the week, I was up to 104K, edited down to about 98K, and am back up to 101K words. Oy.  The final book will probably have a little over 100K. This, I think, is where my friend Stewart would start talking about economy of words, or lack thereof  ;-)  I have to admit, I'm not a very economical writer. If it seems important, I stick it in. I may edit it out later, but it makes the page at least for a little while.

So what's important? It's a tough call. Over my writing vacation, I also took the time to read a couple of books. I finished re-reading The Gumshoe, the Witch and the Virtual Corpse  because it had been years since I read it and I wanted to read the sequel Gorilla Gumshoe (highly recommended reads, by the way. Totally twisty turny, all over the place but in a good way plots...oh yeah and a hot gay male lead. Neither book is a romance by any stretch of the imagination, the gumshoe just happens to like men.)  Both books are by Keith Hartman.

I also read Bound and Determined by Alexa Snow and Jane Davitt. That one left me with mixed feelings. Don't misunderstand, it was a great story with great (if frustratingly tame) bdsm aspects and wonderful characters. All the really kinky stuff seemed to take place off-page, which after a while was really annoying. In fact, a LOT of things seemed to take place off page. Well, okay, maybe two or three scenes in the middle that I really noticed weren't there but felt like they should have been. If not for those "missing" scenes, it would have been a solid 4 star book, IMO. It's still a book I think I'll read again, but....

Here's where I'm having my own problems, deciding which bits are important enough to keep and which are fat that need to be trimmed and where can I be just slightly more economical in my use of words (but rest assured, I'll never write a book that reads like The Graduate!)

Which I guess makes this as good a place as any to ramble lightly about endings. I've had a few (understandable) grumbles about the ending of Bound. Basically, where were the missing chapters at the end? The problem I had was that those chapters were actually the start of another story. So what about an epilogue, you ask? Well...hmm. I can't say I hate them, I used an epilogue to tie up loose ends in my first novel. But see, there it fit. There was this scene that needed to happen and it took place a couple of months after "the end". There wasn't a corresponding scene in my head for Jason and Henry, just more story. Lots and lots more story.

I think sometimes epilogues work and sometimes they're that little bit too much. I recently (ish) read a really great book that was totally spoiled IMO by the sugar sweet epilogue in which we saw that everybody really did live truly happily ever after. It left absolutely NOTHING for the reader's imagination, the whole thing was spelled out for us in black and white. It felt...cheap. And I'd rather have a few loose ends than a nicely presented package with a bow on top that's cheap and cheats me out of figuring out for myself what happens next.

Any thoughts?

My favorite movie of all timeThe Subwaystaring Christopher Lambert (with blond spiky hair!)that guy from Godzilla and The Professionaland Isabelle Adjani (who definitely looks good dressed in black and dripping with diamonds)
Helen Pattskyn, Fantasy Artist, Gay Romance Author