Hardit Singh's Blog, page 4

Emotions

"Emotions are the force of life," says peak performance coach Anthony Robbins and I couldn't agree more. Emotions can sometimes feel like our worst enemy and our best friend. I'm sure that most of you reading this can relate pretty well with that.

A lot of people say, "knowledge is power," but is that really true. I have heard someone say that "knowledge is potential power. Real power comes from action." It feels like I have picked up a lot of tools and ways of handling emotions but I'm not acting on it. Maybe part of that is out of fear, because it's surprising how we avoid things because of fear, even if we don't register that consciously. This could be fear of failing, being rejected, or just fear of what things might mean.
It feels like I'm swimming in a pool of pain and I'm trying to discover what things really mean or re-analyse what I've already assessed. Some of the pain is locked away in vaults that I do not want to even approach and some I keep close by my side that I use for ammunition. People say that wounds heal over time and it's difficult to believe that, I can only hope that this is true. 
One insight I heard that really stuck with me, is that emotions serve you. If someone has suffered depression for several years, of course that's not a good thing, but it has on some level served them. Whether gaining attention, or just an excuse to never put themselves on the line in relationships, attaining goals or where they can't feel disappointed or that they have failed in areas of their lives.
A second insight that left my mouth hanging open for a few seconds was that emotions don't happen to us, we do them. It sounds like common sense, but how many people actually acknowledge this and then use it. My guess is not many for both the former and latter. Anthony Robbins talks about how emotions are like rituals. You have to do and think certain specific things to get to that state of mind. For example, asking yourself certain questions that control your focus and supporting a particular body language (shoulders slumped, head down etc.).  
Understanding this is all well and good, but you have to want to face thoughts, feelings - emotions. And that is the scary thing - if you feel like you deserve to feel the way you do or don't want to change the way you feel, then it's a dark place to be in. I'm not sure if I'm in that place, or perhaps I'm just too fearful to see if I am. 
What's more terrifying than that is knowing that darkness is a normality and having the uncertainty that there is a way out...


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Deep End

Writing a story where you are the only audience is comforting. There's no pressure, no expectation, as right now you just want to complete your novel. You want to write the last words, hit the save button and take a breath knowing you've accomplished something not very many people do.
Fast forward now to when it's time to release this book for all eyes to see. To open the door and expose your imagination and lens of the world for everyone to view and judge based on what they think is good writing and not. That comfort feeling quickly dissipates and now the question of whether you could finish a novel has now been replaced with "Is it any good?" Along with a myriad of similar questions that all come from the growing insecurities you now feel as a writer.
I'm not only dealing with these insecurities as most writers I'm sure are but something else, perhaps something even more jarring, is getting my attention amongst the feelings of dread, like an annoying splinter. Like promoting and Advertising your book for one. I joined Twitter purely for that reason, to connect with other writers and especially readers in the hope they saw something worthwhile in my book to take a chance. But something about this whole notion of promoting your work feels false, as if you're a salesman trying to offload a product to a customer, who likely doesn't need it. 
After being exposed to Twitter and other writers who are independent authors - at least in terms of ebooks, a lot have publishers for their print version - I was washed away with the wave of promotional tweets and special offers that relentlessly populated my feed. I asked myself, "is this what I have to do, to get people to read my book?" I sighed at the prospect of spending a lot of my time writing tweets and other activities people do to promote their work. It's extremely naive but, I never considered how tough it would be to market your book, get it some attention and maybe just maybe have someone make a purchase. To put their faith and hard earned cash into your ability to entertain them with a story. 
I briefly spoke to another Twitter member about how to attract readers. They said, "you can't just do promo tweets, you have to engage them in conversation, and you will receive a lot more interest that way." I thought this person was right, but still it feels false. Taking interest in people purely for ones own intentions.
Perhaps this is all about perspective. This can instead be about someone who has worked hard to write a novel and wants to reach readers who will appreciate it and gain something from their written words, whether a moment of escape or something deeper like inspiration. Maybe the practice of engaging with people is not only for personal gain, you can also instil an attitude that you can contribute to them - promote their work, share with them lessons you have learned.
I'm not sure if all of this makes sense in what I have written here. I guess sometimes insecurities and other feelings from that same family are hard to decipher. It feels like I'm alone in this thinking or more likely it's my cynical side telling me I am and everyone else is enjoying the benefits of spreading the word and looking at their sales stats with a nod of approval.


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