Phil Volatile's Blog - Posts Tagged "raw"

For a long time, almost immediately after publication, I suppressed this book, and limited all ebook and paperback copies available for it. I did this out of fear, out of shame, maybe for being a writer, maybe for what I've written. I have been tackling this notion for a long time, and that's the re-release of this book. I plan to release the original raw version (that I since suppressed), in which I wrote during times I was battling delirium tremens, hysteria, and severe depression. The original plan was to write this book and then shoot myself. I guess I didn't end up cashing my own check, and as a result of it I was consumed by fear and shame, and for a long time, it haunted me. I continued making changes to the book, until I eventually pulled it down from everywhere.

I never wanted to change this version, because I looked back on it as art. So, that is why I'm planning to release the original version in all its sometimes confusing and random glory, and also editing an amended version, which removes two of the chapters, making the book slightly less sporadic, but adds some new content, making it version 1.5 (tentatively to be known as "My Mind's Abyss: Relapse". I am currently working on book #2, which is tentatively being called, "My Mind's Abyss: Aftermath (The Art of Dying)".

So, for those of you who've been trying to obtain a copy, it'll soon be coming available, for better or worse, I suppose. I hope I'll not disappoint anyone. Thank you everyone for your interest and your support.

Pawn Shop Towns

Children are overdosing
on heroin and they’re
not much older than 14
The parents hit the street
panhandling for money
to bury their deceased

And after one look at them,
you realize that poor child
never even had a chance, and
you start to wonder if it’s
all just a big hoax

You never saw a pawn shop
town with so many tattoo parlors,
liquor stores, churches, bars,
and police stations—on the
same damn street

But there’s a million of these
towns that are like factories,
breeding hate and fear that only
the fortunate will never meet

And these zoomed up
kids die like saints, for
someone else’s
dollar

my blog: http://wp.me/s233cV-pawn

© 2012 Volatalistic Phil White Wedding Lies, and Discontent: An American Love Story

My Mind's Abyss (Suicide Edition) is free on Amazon Kindle from 11/22/13 until 11/26/13.

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Happy Thanksgiving!

My Mind's Abyss (Suicide Edition)

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