K.J. Bennett's Blog, page 2

NOT a misery memoir

Phew, the past few weeks have proven interesting.

Following my retirement from public service I've been job hunting and getting a tad despondent with what's available and the number of times I can apply for a job only to receive no response from anyone!  On a brighter note, between temp work and submitting job applications, I've been helping a fellow author with some technical issues for her e-book and the paperback edition. 


Fantastic cover art by Amy PettingillI first met Amanda Smith through Verluam Writers' Circle , which I joined around thirteen years ago. We were never close, but over the years I became very impressed with the extracts of her work that she regularly read out at meetings - funny, sad, moving and often tragic, Amanda often moved us from laughter to tears and back gain in fifteen-hundred words or less. Many of the extracts that Amanda read were from her accomplished book debut Toxic...No More (USA link here). 


A few years back, Amanda signed a lucrative, two book, publishing deal with a major publisher. A publication date was set, yet the book never appeared. What happened next is not my story to tell: suffice it to say that there was a court battle and a settlement. Perhaps, one day, Amanda will be able to speak publicly about the case. In the meantime, here are some links to news articles in the Bookseller and The Independent.

Anyway, I have helped Amanda to format her e-book and to format the interior layout of the paperback version, which should be available for purchase through Amazon and other places in the very near future. I am currently 75% through reading the actual text, and it is quite breathtaking. It is all that I expected, and more. The cover art is damned good, too. Why not pay a visit to artist Amy Pettingill 's website?

The book details Amanda's rather unusual life as an abuse victim and an alcoholic, and her recovery. It has been described as a 'misery memoir', but that is the greatest of misnomers. Amanda's writing style sucks the reader in: we see everything through her eyes, complete with the rose-tinted slant she displayed through all of her misfortune. Don't get me wrong: Amanda has had her share of misery, but she has translated that into a highly readable, often hilarious, memoir. It is a book that should appeal to the mass-market as well as those who are undergoing similar issues and who need to see that despite the hardship, one can fight through it all and come out of the other side as a winner. 

That Smith person is a very strong woman.

Find out moreToxic...No More Facebook page

Amanda Smith on Twitter

Altering the course of clichés: forever!

Hold me down, I'm about to go off on one.


Last night I watched a documentary on National Geographic TV  - ELIZABETH I: KILLER QUEEN (actually, it was a recording). The basis of the programme was that QEI was possibly in love with Robert Dudley, and that Dudley's wife, Amy Robsart, was assassinated, in order that he would be free to marry the Queen  It was an intriguing, if not wholly convincing, premise.  But that’s all by-the-by.
It was all acceptable until one of the the history bods insisted on using a cliché that not only do I hate, but also makes no sense. Boldly, he pronounced that the murder of Amy “... changed the course of history: forever.” Shock. Horror. Drama.
But think about it: “changed the course of history ” is bad enough, but the addition of “forever” makes it totally ridiculous.
If we accept that it is possible to change the course of history, one must accept that events throughout history and, indeed, the future, follow a preordained course, but that it is possible to alter that course (the latter tends to contradict the former), ortime travel is possible, and someone can go backwards through time to alter events that have already taken place.
If you believe in destiny and/or time travel, stop reading now, otherwise, continue.
History is everything that has already happened. It follows no course: what becomes history is influenced by the actions of everyone and everything existent at the relevant time. Once these actions occur, what is left is a historical fact. Once that fact exists, it cannot be altered. Also, it is not possible to alter a fact before it becomes one: all we can do is influence what becomes a fact. It is, for instance, a fact that I misspelled RELEVANT, above, and had to alter it. I changed the spelling, not the fact that I misspelled it in the first place.
That which is a fact will remain a fact: forever. The addition of the word “forever” to the old cliché is redundant – once a fact, always a fact. It will always be a fact thatmisspelled RELEVANT.
How does anything “alter the course of history”? If Amy Robsart was murdered, it set a course of events that have now become historical facts. It didn't alter the course of history, because history had not yet happened! And if the time travel bit were feasible, any alteration would already have happened so would already be enshrined in fact (unless you start theorising about alternative dimensions, universes, time streams, etc) .
And while I'm at it, what about that other hackneyed cliché, "He has his whole future ahead of him." COME ON, PEOPLE! Where else would his future be: in his past?
Here endeth the rant. Perhaps my mate Rathbone Kydd could alter things ...

Progress report

So, I retired from the police service in February, I divulged my ex-profession on this blog (see previous two posts), and now I've had the worst sales period ever!

I suppose it's my own fault: I've been almost completely absent from social media for weeks because I've been really busy sorting out a new website and new sources of income. The website can be found in it's usual place - http://kjbennett.co.uk - but it's so much nicer to look at. Visit the new-look KJB website NOW!!!

The new source of income, if all goes well, will combine writing, photography and my investigative experience  I am working freelance as an investigations agent, compiling accident reports and photographing accident scenes. Maybe it's not art, but it should produce some income!

Now, I need to find the time to write fiction...

Failure

In my previous post HERE I conducted an experiment to see if my now ex-employers were right to impose a condition on my writing activities. With only 4 hours and 26 minutes of employment with the Metropolitan Police Service left, I set out to ascertain if my being a police officer would increase sales, as my employer had suggested. Well, the results are in.

No. Nil. Nada.

Not one single sale after the announcement.

I knew they were wrong!

Now, how about buying copies because I'm and EX-police officer? Just sayin' ...

A short experiment

Anyone who’s read my bio either on my main website or my Amazon profile will know that I have a ‘secret’ occupation in public service. My employers have had a hold over my life and I have had to have my occupation as a writer approved by them: it was approved on the condition that –
1: I spent no more than 16 hours per month doing it, and2: I did not divulge what my main occupation was, as to do so might result in me selling more books.
In a recent review, condition 1 was removed – I had been ignoring it for several years, anyway. That left number 2.
As of midnight tonight (GMT on 8 February 2013) I cease to be employed by them. I can now reveal that ‘them’ is the Metropolitan Police Service. I have completed 30 years service and it’s time for me to go, so I thought I would try this: now that I have revealed my secret, will it result in a glut of e-book sales? I very much doubt it, but it would be nice if it did.
The links to my e-books are here. 
Go on, prove that my employer was justly concerned: buy them in their thousands.
(If I sell even one I’d be surprised).

Fiction is stranger than, erm, er ... fiction?

Copyright © K J Bennett & L K Jay 2012

In honour of Christmas, the New Year, good writing and total fantasy, this blog entry is given over to the characters from L K Jay ’s popular contemporary fiction book, The Ghost Hunters Club .
The Ghost Hunters Club  is the story of the loves and lives of Linda, Karen and Anna, three perfectly normal modern women who have as much difficulty finding a reliable man as they do finding a real ghost on their many trips to popular haunting sights. The sequel will be out soon, and the ladies want to talk about it.
Yep, three larger than life but wholly fictitious women are sitting here right now waiting to be interviewed. And that’s a problem: how can I interview three fictional characters? Oooo! I know: I’ll get Rathbone Kydd to do it. He’s not without experience - he interviewed an author once. And he’s fictional, so he won’t get flustered.
OK. Rathbone, meet Linda, Karen and Anna - the Ghost Hunters Club
RK: So, er, hi chick ... and chick, and, erm, chick. Great to be in the company of three such great-looking women. Make yourselves comfy, fluff the cushions, make coffee if you like ... mine’s black, no sugar, thanks. Right: anyone up for a massage? I ache like hell round the shoulders, I was wondering if one of you would be willing to volunteer ...
LINDA: Chick? Chick? Where do you think I came from, a chicken’s bottom?
RK: No. Huh, wouldn’t that make you an egg?
KAREN: I’ll give you black with no sugar, mister, and I’ll have milk and sugar in my coffee thanks.
ANNA: Well you can fluff my cushions, I like the moustache...
RK: OK, OK, don’t get tetchy! Only joking. So, three single ladies in good jobs and in need of lurve, eh? How about you each tell me a little about yourselves, y’know, jobs, interests, scandalous tales of your love lives, cup size, full contact details, et cetera. Let’s start with, hmm, Linda.
LINDA: Well young man, I’ve just been promoted and I’m now a deputy head in a posh private school in Edinburgh.  I’ll get to teach nice children instead of the plebs I had in my last job.  And did you behave yourself at school, Mr Kydd, hmm?  Anyway, I’m off men at the moment, so you can jolly well get your hand off of my knee, or I’ll have to put you in detention.
RK: Sorry, old habits and all. ‘Off men ...’ hmm, a challenge. Anyway, moving on (and checking the name badges) ... Karen. You look fit. A dancer? Stripper, maybe?
KAREN: Don’t push it pal, or I’ll set Linda on you.  I’m a martial arts instructor and I could snap you like a twig.  Except I won’t as you’ve just made me a coffee. 
RK: The least I could do. KJ said the budget wouldn’t stretch to whiskey, or drugs. Might have a bit of cheap sherry stashed away, for later, though.
KAREN: Anyway, we like ghost hunting, we’ve been on a few and I’m the first one to see a dead real ghost.  Excuse the pun.
RK: Not sure about excusing it ... ignoring it’s an option though, right? Heee, heee - don’t look at me like that, I’m just jesting. Right, that leaves Karen, no, Anna. Sorry, KJ’s writing on those badges is crap - much like his novels, so I hear. So, Kar–Anna (wow, sorry, sounds like some Russian chick) – what is it you do? As if I couldn’t guess.
ANNA: I’m a single parent but don’t let that put you off.  I have very well behaved children.  I work as a personal assistant to the director of a Northern Railway Company.  His name is Graham and he really likes trains – oh, and he likes to come ghost hunting with us as well.  Would you like to come ghost hunting with us, Randall? Linda has a very impressive torch.
RK: Wha – who the fuck is Randall? It’s Rathbone. Rath -emphasis-on-the- BONE . RATHBONE. It’s OK, I’m calming down, Kar-fuckit-Anna! AN-NA. Anna. Right, got it.
Linda rolls her eyes skyward.
RK: So. Ghost hunting ... OH! Is that why you call yourselves the Ghost Hunters’ Club? I wasn’t taking it literally, I just thought it was ’cos you dated a bunch of stiffs. In your case AN-NA (phew) I guess I’m right. Train spotter for a boss? Is he the Daddy, too?
ANNA: I’m not pregnant, I’m just curvy.  You have so blown it Randall, Rathbone, whatever, and I don’t mean in a fun way.  Anyway, you’re old enough to be my dad.  Bloody men.
RK: No, I didn’t mean you looked pregnant. It’s just that you mentioned being a mother, and I assumed, y’know, train spotters have urges, probably, and there’s you with the curves and the petty face, and there’s him with the anorak and the note book, and it can’t be easy for you, with the kids an’ all, and there’s those long lonely nights with the screaming and all that. And did you call me old? I’m only old in linear time scales. On my own scale I’m twenty-five, so probably a few years younger than you.
LINDA: You can’t be cruel to a widow, especially a rich one.  Anyway, we’re not convinced that her waste-of-oxygen husband has entirely gone away....
KAREN: But you’re right Rathbone, we went ghost hunting because we were fed up of going out with rubbish men.  I mean, how hard is it to turn up on time, remember to go to the cash point and remember whether you’re married or not?  We thought we’d throw our lot in with the ghosts; more chance of getting a spook on camera than finding a decent man.
RK : “A decent man” ... hmm ... I’m sorta decent, so much so that people say I’m IN-decent.
LINDA: (prods Rathbone) So are you actually real? What was time travel like? Is that moustache real?
RK: Am I real? Are you real? What is real? There was that Frenchie guy, Des Kart, I think he was called, who said, “I think, therefore I am”. Don’t know what all that shit was about, but the Moody Blues stole it and used it at the start of their LP On the Threshold of a Dream. Still doesn’t explain if my moustache is real, though. Hmm, maybe the moustache is the only real thing here ...  Right, time travel … what it feels like … it’s a bit like jelly, but faster.
But enough about me (did I really say that?), tell me about your ghost hunting adventures: what do you actually do: go places, pretend to look for ghostly spirits, but hit the spirit of the gin bottle instead? And you, Anna, who looks after the kids, or do you take ’em with you?
LINDA: Oh, now we get to the sensible questions!  Well, we do like going on ghost hunts.  We’ve been all over the country – Leeds, Whitby, Leicester and Edinburgh, which is the home of the scary ghost hunt.  But like they saying goes, looking for ghosts is like looking for a decent man, you can keep searching and you’ll never find one and then one will pop up when you are least expecting it.
KAREN: That happened to me.  I was let down by a man and then when I went to attend a friend’s do, a ghost popped up when I least expected it.  I wish I’d had a camera with me but of course, you never do when you need one.
Paris, June 1992
Copyright © K J Bennett ANNA: I don’t normally have the children with me when we go ghost hunting, they go to stay with their grandparents when I do, but I might in the future.  Besides, that is the time I have to myself and I wouldn’t want them to see me get drunk and behave badly.  We’ve had a bit of a break from the ghost hunting but we’re going on a few more adventures soon, I hear Cambridge, London and even Paris might be on the cards.  Oh la la!
RK: Ooooo-la-Anna! You sound sexxx-sssee when you’re speaking French? Are you fluent? It is the language of lurve, y’know?
ANNA: Oh I am very fluent...
LINDA: Pack it in Anna, you don’t know where he’s been.  Sorry Mr Kydd, but really...
KAREN: Ladies, please!  I’m sure the men in France are as useless as the ones we’ve experienced in the UK.  We are in the EU you know, I’m sure there’s been a ruling from Brusselsabout the percentage of bad dates a woman has to go on.
RK: And Karen: why would a guy let you down? Apart from being a hottie, who’d risk the injury? Anyway, I bet that ghost thing was scary. I mean’ I’ve been in a similar situation when I worked in that gay pub in Exeter. Before I knew the lay of the land, so to speak, I went on a ghost walk round the back of the Cathedral with some of the guys, late one Saturday night, and let me tell you, a few scary things popped up that night, and I ran a mile. Talk about giving me the willies!
LINDA: Well, ghosts weren’t all that Anna saw in the underground tunnels in Edinburgh, but it was the best place for ghost hunting.  It’s a spooky city and full of atmosphere.
ANNA: Ahhh, the Edinburgh vaults, such nice memories.....
KAREN: Anna, I don’t know how you got away with it!  Although you’d be surprised how looking for ghosts and men can get mixed up.  They’re both elusive and at least the ghosts have an excuse for being unreliable, what with being dead and all.
RK: I don’t see they can use dead as an excuse. It’s not like they’ve got anywhere else to go, is it? So, tell me, did you find Dracula in Whitby? Yeah, I’m well read, I know the original story.
LINDA: No, but we did find a lot of tacky gifts, including some edible coffins.
KAREN: And I met a horrible ghost tour guide who didn’t believe in ghosts and tried to nick my wallet.  Good job the girls came to rescue me, I could have done him some damage.
RK: Now, ladies, tell me about these disasters you’ve had at speed dating. I mean, speed? Eh? I’m not surprised it went badly: anyone who tries to form a relationship based around drug abuse is destined to misery.
LINDA: Well I wished I’d taken some bloody drugs before I went, it was ghastly.  Turned out one of the men was a parent at my school, was terrified he would mention me to his irritating son, so I had to lie about my name.
KAREN: And one of the men said I should impress him so when I told him I could punch through wood, he wanted to know if I was a lezza.  I pointed out that he was both rude and offensive, both to me and the lesbian community, and offered to use his head as a piece of wood.  He declined.   ANNA: I got stuck with a very odd looking train spotter called Graham.  Total odd ball and kept staring at my boobs.  I get that a lot.  I suspect he still lives with this mother but I’ve got this feeling that that wasn’t the last time I would see him and of course, I ended up working for him.  Turns out he likes ghost hunting as well.
RK: What was that, Anna? I sorta lost track, staring at your boobs. Well, Christmas is almost here, and KJ tells me I’d better offer you some of this Port, Sherry and other stuff – mince pie, anyone? Good. Enjoy. KJ says he won’t charge you too much for them. Also, he’ss looking at his watch and making circular gestures. Don’t know what all that shit’s about. Anna, anything else I can, erm, do for you , mon amie?
ANNA: Oh well Mr Kydd, I do have some gardening that needs doing.  The lawn needs a mow, and the rose bushes need a trim.  I like a rugged outdoor man who’s good with his hands....
RK: Right … possibly I’m too smooth for you, but I’m REALLY good with my hands. Other parts of me perform even better, but that gardening stuff is a turn off.
But enough of this sleaze. I understand that your biographer, Miss L K Jay, she of the mysterious persona, is documenting your new adventures in a sequel. Are we in for any surprises in this one? A real ghost, perhaps, or a lover who scores ten out of ten on the scale of, say, me?
Linda: Well I still think men are crap, and I’ve sworn off of them.  Let’s face it; my internet dating record isn’t that good.  But I’m enjoying working at my new school with my best friend Chaz but we hear rumours that there may be a new project.  I don’t like the sound of that.
Karen: I was so pleased when I got together with the man I’d liked for so long, but as per usual, things don’t always go according to plan.  My martial arts business is going well, I hope there isn’t anything that will threaten that.
Anna:  My stupid husband, the only decent thing he managed to do was die, and now he just won’t stay dead!  Or dead enough…  And then there’s Graham’s new woman, now that came as a surprise.
RK: Ladies, it sounds like there's a lot of drama and trauma in store for you. It’s been really great talking with you all. You’re all great looking girls and you’re even more attractive when you talk. If you ever need a friend to talk with after one of the ghost hunts, or just a real man to … erm, you know? … then you know where to find me. Course, I may have teleported to a different space/time continuum by then, but you’ll know where I was.
+++   The Ghost Hunters Return  byL K Jay will be available as an e-book in spring 2013:
SYNOPSIS
Last time, the Ghost Hunters Club couldn’t find a ghost, or a decent date, for love nor money.  Now there’re too many!
Linda’s at her new school, Karen’s got her new man and Anna’s got her new money – what more do the women want?
They had a break but now they’re ready to pick up where they left off.  There are more ghosts, more personal disasters and a lot more adventures looking for both but one thing is for sure, they’ll be having lots of fun!




L K Jay’s links L K Jay's Website  Twitter:@FenlandGirllFacebookAmazon author page

Rathbone Kydd - sex’n’drugs’n’quantum stuff  by K J Bennett
is available now on these links - UK - US - FR - DE - ES - IT - JP

All I want for Christmas ...

Just for a change I thought I’d go all consumer and make some recommendations for your Christmas viewing.
Even with the plethora of digital TV channels, finding stuff to watch over the festering period can be difficult. So why not buy yourself some DVD/Blu-Ray entertainment? I list here my selection of the best programmes I’ve seen this year and which you can order for TV consumption before Christmas.
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The Almighty Johnsons Imagine: you have reached the age of 21 and your brothers take you out to the woods, strip you naked and tell you that you are a reincarnated god.
This is one of the funniest and most bizarre series I’ve seen in many years, and a it’s major TV achievement for New Zealand. It is currently in its second season on the SyFy channel. It gets better every week.
Synopsis In the 1800s, the Norse gods placed themselves in exile for reasons not yet divulged. It was obvious that they would, in their human form, emigrate to New Zealand: where else would they go. Since then, each of the gods is reborn. In the modern day, Odin is in the unlikely form of the rather innocent and well-meaning Axl Johnson. His brothers are gods, his parents were gods, and a fair number of the people he bumps into on his quest to find his true love, the Frigg, turn out to be gods.

The Almighty Johnsons - Season 1Amazon Play
The Almighty Johnsons - Season 2
Amazon 
Play 
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GrimmThis is a great series that is being shown in the UK on digital channel, Watch. It’s thrilling and funny, and brought to you by David Greenwalt – he who worked closely with Joss Whedon on Buffy and (mainly) Angel.
Synopsis Grimm’s Fairy Tales were not stories: they were warnings. Supernatural beings live amongst us, but only they and descendents of the Grimms can see them for what they are unless they transform in anger. It is the role of the Grimm to hunt down and eliminate these creatures, but Nick Burkhardt is a little unorthodox...
Grimm Season 1 Amazon Play 

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Continuum A thrilling time travel drama, aired on the SyFy channel. Not the most original plot line, but remarkably well done.
SynopsisChange history – protect the future. In 2077 the corporations run everything (bit like now, then?). A terrorist organisation, Liber8, is fighting back. A force of ‘protectors’ – cyber-enhanced police – are fighting the terrorists. The leader of Liber8 and some of his top operatives are facing execution. At the point when they should die, they and one protector – Kiera Cameron (played by the lovely – Rachel Nichols) - are thrown back in time to 2012. Can Keira stop the terrorists from changing history – and should she even try?


Continuum Season 1Amazon Play 
Continuum Season 2AmazonPlay
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Haven Based on a Stephen King story, The Colorado Kid, this quirky and novel series is now in its second season. It was a bit of a slow starter in season 1, but as soon the over arching story line kicks in, the viewer is left begging for more. I want more, and season 4 is currently in production.
SynopsisThe New England town of Haven is exactly that to people who suffer from afflictions known as the Troubles. Some can kill with a single stare, others just need to think it to make it happen. Audrey Parker is on secondment from the FBI and assisting the local police department, but there is more to Audrey than meat the eye. Why does she appear, almost unchanged, in photographs taken nearly thirty years before, and why is she immune to the Troubles?
Haven – Season 1 – 3 Amazon
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So if you like me enough to buy me a Christmas pressie, any of the above will do!

Hello, and thanks for all the tweets.

Last weekend I offered Rathbone Kydd... for free via Amazon. I had much support from some wonderful people I’ve befriended on Twitter. I tweeted, they retweeted; they tweeted, I retweeted. Using my secondary Twitter ID I retweeted their retweets and tweeted new tweets which they and my primary ID later retweeted.
There was a lot of tweeting and retweeting. What a pain.
Amazon terms and conditions prevent me from giving full details of how many were shifted but the upshot is that several hundreds of copies are now in circulation – marginally more in the US than the UK – and a whole fifteen copies in Germany (sorry Amazon, too precise?). I even made it into the top three FREE of the SciFi – Mystery/Thrillers and SciFi – High Tech categories in the UK and US.
Then it was over. Obscurity ensued.
BUT there is light: in the UK I have made it into the Top 100 PAID of both of these categories. It’s not a constant listing, but I have occupied the list for four out of five days, dropping out on Friday and popping back in today (Saturday).
Terry TylerAt this point I would like to thank my most ardent and unpaid publicist, a certain Terry Tyler, who actually bought a copy of RathboneKydd... when he was first unleashed and seems to have fallen in love with him! Ms Tyler has been the single most helpful person in pushing Rathbone into the world. Not only has she written a truly wonderful review of the book on Amazon, but Terry has also tweeted about the book and listed it in her top four indie-book reads of the year on her blog. This is especially gratifying, as Terry is the brilliant author – take a few minutes to check out her books on her Amazon author page. Note the masses of 5 Star reviews for her four published books. I especially loved  Dream On ,and You Wish was brilliant, too. I shall soon be buying the others. 
You can find Terry Tyler on her blog, on Twitter - @TerryTyler4, on her Amazon Author Page, on Goodreads, and on Facebook.

I’M FREE!

Well my book is, for two days.


For 17 & 18 November 2012, Rathbone Kydd – sex’n’drugs’n’quantum stuff is free on Amazon. Get it, enjoy it, review it and tell your friends to do the same. RK needs an audience: don’t disappoint him.
UK US/India FR ES DE IT

Singing in the shower – with purpose

Last night I spent several hours in the company of Mr Steve Pearce and Mr Ernest Ballard. That may sound like nothing special to you, but to me it was very special indeed: these are two of the people who inspired composite characters in my novel Rathbone Kydd - sex'n'drugs'n'quantum stuff  (use THIS LINK for Amazon US) - available on Kindle from Amazon.
Between 1975 - 77, Steve, Ernie and I were four-fifths of a rock band named Wasp. We played in the south west of England – primarily in Exeter, Devon. We were massively popular – on a small local scale, that is – and had a following that transcended fashionistic boundaries: bikers, smoothies, hippies, yippies and a few oldies seemed to love us. Or, perhaps, they simply disliked us less than some of the alternative entertainment of the day ... 
Ernie Ballard, K J (Kevin) Bennett & Steve PearceSteve was lead guitarist. There was some kind of rift in the band that until last night I couldn’t recall, and he parted company from us. Apparently, on the advice of our manager – a con-man – we changed our name to Riot Squad and turned punk (musically, that is: the hair remained). Steve Pearce didn’t want to do that and, as I said, I couldn’t remember it, but it did happen, and Ernie has the demo tapes to prove it. We continued as a four-piece with the occasional guest guitarist.
Steve Pearce - posing as a
Native American chiefSteve and I met up again a few years back when he traced me via my previous website. I travelled to Plymouth and we went for a few drinks. It was great fun except for the kidney infection I’d just contracted that caused me to race off to the loo every ten minutes! Then we lost contact again for a while – my fault: I had a major computer crash and lost all my un-backed up data. But Steve tracked me down again and we’ve remained in e-mail contact for a while.
Kevin & Ernie - circa 1977I hadn’t seen Ernie since early 1980 – almost 33 years ago! I was surprised to get an e-mail from him only a few weeks ago, completely out of the blue – again, he had tracked me down via the website and followed a link that took him to Steve’s pages. Ernie was the drummer – twice. He parted company with the band when three of us moved to London to become rock stars, but he rejoined us about a year later when he answered an advert in Melody Maker. Valdis, our bassist, insisted that Ernie audition along with several others. By this time, our longstanding guitarist Steve Major had left us and had been replaced by Aussie Paul and Scottish Andy. Ernie was the best so he got the job.
Ernest Ballard EsqSteve Pearce and Ernie both now live in Plymouth: they only reacquainted themselves a few weeks ago. Steve plays in the rock duo Bountyhunter and Ernie has just left Cornish ska band, Rudi’sMessage , after a period of 12 years. I’m not sure if there’s a difference between Cornish ska and other types, but it probably has high cholesterol, like clotted cream and pasties.
I can honestly say that last night was magical. I haven’t laughed so much in years. Look at Ernie’s eyes in the photos: pure mischief. Although dressed in his suit and tie, I can attest to the fact that he is a true rock drummer who, over the past 30+ years has demonstrated that a drummer without a girlfriend is homeless! At least he owns a van and a sleeping bag.
Now the two of them are discussing the prospects of playing together again, and the subject of me doing a couple of rehearsals “just for old-time’s sake” was mentioned ... I haven’t sung with a band since I last saw Ernie in 1980. The only time I’ve sung in public since then was a disastrous karaoke session in Scotland in 2004, when I had difficulty fitting the words of Billy Idol’s White Wedding to the music. BUT, if I can locate some of the missing three octaves of what used to be my three-and-a-half octave range, I might just do it. Be warned, singing in the shower will resume forthwith.