E.C. Stilson's Blog, page 92

The Scribe, the Devil and a Very Nice Man

Do you remember when we bought a husky?  Here's a post to help jog your memory:







Owners and Dogs Look Alike





    Anyway, she's a hoot.  The Zombie Elf loves her the most and some days I've caught the two of them sleeping on the trampoline together.  Luna (our enormous dog who makes a great pillow)--loves jumping on the tramp with zombies, go figure.

    The other day Luna got out.  The Hippie stayed home to watch the our zombie and Doctor Jones.  She wasn't feeling well that day (but is doing much better after going on a dairy-free diet; thanks for your prayers).      

    Back to the point, the dog got out; The Scribe chased her.  I tried following them in the van and instead lost them because I'd be a terrible cop and ALL the villains would get away.

    I ended up driving around for half an hour.  When I finally decided to check back at home, I found The Scribe walking Luna on a new leash. 

    "This has been THE WORST day," she said.

    "What happened?  I was so worried.  I looked everywhere for you."

    "Luna went under a fence and into someone's backyard.  I followed her and got all scrapped up by some rose bushes."  She showed me her arms--they looked bad.  "Anyway, Luna was there attacking someone's cat.  So, since Luna is huge and I couldn't get her to follow me, I jumped on her and then tried keeping her on the ground while the cat got away."

    "Oh my gosh.  You're so brave."  I meant it, too.

    "Not really," The Scribe said.  "I held Luna for so long and she just wanted to run away.  I didn't have a leash or anything, so I started crying for you."  She turned to me.  "YOU didn't answer!"

    "I didn't know where you were."

    "Anyway, as I yelled, an old lady opened the back door and saw me fighting with Luna in her yard.  Instead of helping, she screamed, went back inside, shut the door and locked it."

    "What?!  Are you kidding me?  She didn't know if you were in danger.  She had no idea if Luna was attacking you . . . and she locked the door?"

    "Yeah, I got so sad after that, I just stood up and that's when Luna followed me.  A nice guy saw Luna following me.  He put this leash on her and said I could bring it back whenever."

    "What a great person," I said.  And it almost made up for the old woman's actions.  "But that lady . . . why didn't she help you?"

    "It wasn't very nice.  She looked really old, though," The Scribe said.

    "How old?" I asked.

    "At least forty."

    I almost choked.  How old does she think I look?!  "I don't care how old someone is.  I don't care if they're young and scrawny.  I don't care if they're more selfish than the devil.  I don't care IF they're over forty!  If I saw a child struggling with A BEAR--I would try to do something to help even if it meant I'd die trying.  You don't leave someone to die."

    The Scribe giggled.  "This really bothers you, doesn't it?  A bear?"

    "Yeah!  I hope you'll remember this.  As people, moments will come into our lives when we can help OR stand by as someone else gets hurt.  We can make the right choice--a difference."

    "I guess we can."  The Scribe nodded.  "I'll never forget the woman who ignored me, or the man who helped.  Most of all I'm just glad Luna's back."

    "Me too."  I smiled.

    After we put Luna in the house, we returned the leash.  The man was so nice that I had to tell him about the old lady.  "Some people," he said.  "Who in the world would turn away from helping a child?"    

    Yeah, I thought.  And to think, The Scribe wasn't even facing a bear!

A POST FOR GEEZERS & GEEZERETTES: Fishducky Funday

This is one of my very favorites, Fishducky!  Thanks for joining us again.  I'll give everyone the latest on the Hippie when I post on Wednesday.





A POST FOR GEEZERS & GEEZERETTES

(I wrote this, obviously, when I was 73.  Every word  Most of it  Some of it is true.  Years 74-77 haven’t seen much improvement.)

AN ODE TO BEING SEVENTY-THREE

My legs are sore.  I need a cane.


My body has gone quite insane.
My breasts were perky as a song.

My bra size now is 40-Long.
I cannot hear.  I cannot see.

I have to pee.  Oh, woe is me!
My body’s fat.  My skin is thin.         

I do not like the shape I’m in.   
I cough–I cough until I choke.   

I’m going out to have a smoke.
My bones are brittle, I fear my fate.

I’m liable to disintegrate.
My memory now seems to have gone.

Who is that standing on my lawn?
It’s my husband Bud–or is his name Paul?

I thought he died–I can’t recall.
The thermometer says it’s 63.

I don’t know why it lies to me.
I can’t stop sweating–watch me pour.

My body says it’s 104.
My joints creak and pop so bad

I’m like a steel drum from Trinidad.
Leg cramps woke me again last night.

Why is my skin so loose and my muscles tight?
My health is iffy.  I may not thrive.

But life is good–and I’m still alive!
And yet I wonder more and more

What I’ll be like at seventy-four!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


   
My friend, Barbara, is a couple of years younger than me.  When someone
asks her name, she says, “How soon do you need to know?”  I often march
into a room, open a drawer or cupboard & have no idea of what I’m
looking for.  If you haven’t done that yet, don’t worry—you will!


If you’re still not sure what getting older is like, this is a good description:





And this one is even better:

   

   


Of course, there are some advantages to aging.  You worry less, like Sadie, below:






And you finally have the time to do things that are important to you:

  
  

  



              


I never realized it, but apparently punctuation marks also get old:

 




 

  Now that I think of it, getting old isn’t really so bad.  All the pressure is off!





  


   
My philosophy is, “Don’t worry what people think of you.  They probably
aren’t thinking of you at all!”  And, from an email that Melynda sent
me, something I learned to do as I got older: “Handle every stressful
situation like a dog—just pee on it & walk away!”

   

Here’s a list someone sent me:

   

"OLD" IS WHEN.....

…..Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs & make love," & you say, "Honey, I can't do both!"
..... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes & you're barefoot.
..... A sexy babe catches your fancy & your pacemaker opens the garage door.
..... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
..... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
..... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
..... Getting a little action means you don't need to take any fiber today.
..... Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
..... An all nighter means not getting up to pee.



These were just a few of the fragments of my fossilized brain----fishducky



                      PS—Your kids probably see you this way NOW:

She Looks Like Me

Before handing today's post over to Fishducky, I just wanted to tell you that the Hippie's ultrasound results came back completely normal. The same section of her tummy is hurting again, but we still don't have answers. They've put her on another dairy-free diet and plan on taking her off of gluten if this dairy thing doesn't work. Wish us luck.


On a happy note, Janie (the rockstar) wrote a wonderful review for "The Sword of Senack." Please go HERE to read that. Thank you, Janie. Your encouragement, support and kindness means so very much.



Now, the reason you're visiting on this lovely Fishducky Friday--take it away, Fran!





SHE LOOKS LIKE ME!



Back in the days when doctors made house calls (I’ve told you before to ask your grandmother what that means!) I had the flu or some other deadly disease, so I called my family doctor, who is also a friend. I was in bed, in some nice warm pajamas, when he arrived. He examined me & told me I needed a shot. I asked him where, so I would know if I should roll up a pajama sleeve or lower the bottoms—I really didn’t care which. He said, “I could give it to you in your arm, but it’s better in the butt. Tell you what, I’ll give it to you in the butt but I won’t look!” I told him to look—just not to remember!


I took my kids to the pediatrician for a checkup. (Where else was I going to take them—a singles bar?) The nurse was laughing & I asked her what was so funny. She said she had just been talking to another patient—a 5 year old boy who had recently gotten over chicken pox. She had asked him how he had caught it. He told her, “I dunno. I must’ve got hold of a bad chicken!”


My brother-in-law was a veterinarian. He never got angry with his patients, but their owners were a different story. He couldn’t show his anger in the office—very bad for business. He loved gardening. One of the reasons was because it gave him a place to safely (& privately) vent his feelings. He would take his clippers & cut the heads off weeds, saying as he went, “That’s for you, Mr. Smith!” or “You’re an idiot, Mrs. Jones!” Everyone was happy & his garden was beautiful!


My younger sister-in-law & I each have three kids. Hers are all about three months older than ours. I used to be worried when she called me—I was afraid she’d tell me she was pregnant again & I didn’t want any more kids. We saw the same OB so we often went in for our appointments together. We’d get weighed in & examined & then we’d go out for ice cream. We’d have plenty of time to diet before our next visit. C’mon—you NEVER did that?


Our daughter was my parents’ first grandchild. We called them around 1:00am & they met us at the hospital along with Bud’s folks. She was born at 4:10am & I guess everyone was pretty tired, excited & punchy by that time. My obstetrician, Dr. Weinberg, was a very large, stern-looking (but funny) man who spoke with a thick German accent. He came into the waiting room & announced that I had had a beautiful baby girl. My mom excitedly asked him who the baby looked like. He thought for a minute, said, “She looks like ME!” & turned & left the room.


I had very easy &, apparently, VERY quick deliveries. When our second son was born, I had asked for something to ease the pain & promptly fell blissfully asleep. A nurse, who had been in the delivery room, later came into my room laughing. She said Dr. Weinberg asked her if she had ever seen one of my babies being born. She told him no. She said he warned her to stand back & said, “SWOOSH!!” I wonder if she’s the one who designed the Nike logo.
I hope you realize—I stayed on a theme this time. And it wasn’t easy!



Take care of yourselves----fishducky

Update on The Hippie & An Allegory

The Hippie is still feeling really sick. The teacher called me yesterday because my girl was doubled over at recess. The blood and Celiac tests all came back fine. But I think they're wondering about her appendix now even if her other tests aren't showing any signs of appendicitis. 

    I'm taking her in for an ultrasound first thing tomorrow morning, so I'm hoping that will help bring answers somehow. I keep worrying that she could have some type of hernia. Cade had one . . . Zeke died from one in his diaphragm. Anyway, we'll see what will happen. 

    All of these pains, and the throwing up really has me worried.
Thanks again for your prayers. 



Now, onto an allegory. I've been having a hard time with certain things, so here's my way of writing it out. 




The Path Where All Men Are Tested and Tried 






click picture for photo credit


The dirt path stretched far ahead. I knew I should travel straight toward the afternoon sun, but things weren't that easy. Traps rested on both sides of the trail--traps meant to entangle human minds and souls. 

    I'd seen strange things along the journey--a woman who chained herself to a rock because she wanted to constantly stare at the valley behind her, where she'd come from, memories of what she'd done and those she'd lost. I met a couple so concerned with diamonds at one "Y" in the road, they didn't keep traveling. They'd been so weighed down with riches, they set up a shop and enticed others traveling behind them. 

    I shouldn't have judged though. I too had vices that could keep me from moving along. We'd all been walking this path since the day we were born. Each soul wanted to find a place we'd heard of, the paradise only the sun could illuminate at the very end of the path.     

    Thinking of all these things, I went up over a hill. Of course two more traps rested ahead. One was a cage, sitting on the left of the path and the other trap waited so far away I struggled to see it.     

    Huge lush trees hung in contrast over the metal bars of the cage. I looked at the man inside. Although the door splayed open, the man wouldn't leave. He rocked back and forth, holding an electronic device that was chained to a bar. "Come out," I said. "The door's open. You have to know we're all being tested and tried. Come with me. Maybe we can walk toward the sun together."    

    His sad eyes gazed at me. "Why would I come out?" he asked. 

    "Because, you're in a cage . . . don't you want to keep moving? Imagine the wonders we'll see if we can just make it." 

    "No. This is more important. I have to stay here because I can't bring these pictures along." 

    I looked at the images on the electronic screen and felt sick. "You won't keep going?" I asked. 

    "I've tried. My brother got away, but I keep coming back." 

    I left him and walked farther, remembering a time when I'd lost my own way. Instead of walking toward the sun, I'd veered onto another path and nearly fallen off a cliff. I lost someone close to me that day--part of myself. 

    After time passed, I finally saw the other trap more clearly. But as I looked, it broke my heart. Dozens of people were in a deep hole, screaming for me to help them.
I reached down, but it was too far to save anyone. The people below me battled fighting and clawing. One woman climbed onto a man's back. She was so close to reaching my hand, but then the others pulled her down. 

    Another part of the hole sloped just enough that someone could climb out if they were good enough at climbing, but no one would let them.  They just grabbed each other again, being selfish and greedy. "I won't let you get out first," a man screamed. Each time someone got close to the slope or my hand, another person would yank them down. 

    "Work together!" I said. 

    "And let someone else get out first? They'll rise above the rest of us! If I can't be the most successful, then no one else can." 

    I gaped. It was one of the saddest traps I'd ever seen. 

   "But we can all succeed," I argued. 

    A man laughed cruelly. "You are so stupid." 

    Then all of the mockery and jeers they'd been sending to each other turned to me.
"You're a failure," they said. "You actually think it's important to make it to the sun? You'll never make it there, ever. What a pipe-dream. It's the sun and you're only a human." 

    "We've never met anyone who's made it there," one woman in particular shouted to me. "Turn around. You're going the wrong way. Instead of chasing the sun, the perpetual day, shouldn't you be chasing the night? It can't burn you. You won't be as exhausted from the pounding rays. You won't even be able to see the traps at the sides of the road." 

    "But then I won't be able to see anything clearly in the darkness," I said.  

    "And so you'll never experience pain again.  Isn't ignorance bliss?"
Somehow her words made sense. In a strange way, I became more mired than ever before.  I stayed, trying to talk to the people--reason with them. And as we all debated, I was too busy arguing to notice the woman who'd first confused me so much, the woman who spoke of the night. 

    She sneaked behind the group and climbed up the slope leading from the hole. Now that no one noticed to pull her down, she finally made it out.
"I'm free," she shouted, then instead of going toward the night--the way she'd told me to go--she ran toward the sun and laughed. "I want to be the only one who succeeds. Me! Me! Me!"
And the woman ran, seeking success and happiness, still hoping everyone else would believe her words and go the wrong way. 

    I no longer stood after that.  I no longer continued on my way.  Depression overtook me as I tried reasoning with those unwilling to help each other, and the whole time I wondered why some people think success is only attained when everyone else fails.







Well, I'm off to keep working on Homeless in Hawaii. I'll be back next Wednesday. Fishducky will be guesting here each Monday and Friday to help out while I'm taking a break.

I hope all of you are doing awesome.



If you're new here and would like more info about my books or writing, please visit my author site: www.ecstilson.com

Pop Quiz: Fishducky Funday

Fishducky will now be posting every Monday and Friday. I'll be posting every Wednesday.
Take it away, Fishducky!




POP QUIZ

 


All right, children—settle down. We’re going to have a test. Please line up in alphabetical order, according to height, oldest first. Make sure your crayons are sharpened. Do not look at your neighbor’s paper. He probably doesn’t know the answers, either. Ready? Begin. 







1. I thought it was funny when someone pasted a full-sized picture of Phyllis Diller’s face on my mirror. Who put up the picture? 



a. My husband 

b. One of my kids 

c. Nobody--that was really my reflection 



2. What is the greatest achievement of the human race? 



a. Democracy 

b. Space flight 

c. TV remote control 



3. Who actually combined a sign advertising fruit & a sign at a gas station together in her mind & read them as “nectarine on duty”? 



a.

Nobody in their right mind 

b.

Fishducky 

c.

Both of the above 



4. What picture do you get when you play “connect the dots” with the spots on my face? 



a.

The skyline of Manhattan 

b.

Three elephants & an aardvark 

c.

I don’t know, but the idea frightens me 



5. Dinner is normally ready to be served when?



a.

Around 6:00pm 

b.

After you place your order at the restaurant 

c.

The smoke alarm goes off 



6. What do you call those shoes the podiatrist makes me wear after I break a toe? 



a.

Orthopedic sandals 

b.

Even uglier than O. J. Simpson’s “Manolo Blahnik’s” 

c.

Toe boats 



7. This actually happened when a prospective flight attendant was being interviewed. She was asked what she would do if she were flying at 30,000 feet & a cabin door suddenly blew off. What was her answer? (Hint--she got the job.) 



a.

I would remain calm & assess the situation 

b.

I would make sure everyone had their seat belts on 

c.

I would s**t!!! 



8. What does the expression “There’s a light at the end of the tunnel” mean? 



a.

A bad situation will eventually end 

b.

Things will work themselves out 

c.

Get off the tracks, you idiot--a train’s heading right towards you!! 



9. There is a “Twilight Zone” episode in which a harried New Yorker boards a commuter train, falls asleep & wakes up in the 1800’s as they make a stop at a town called Willoughby, where everything is peaceful. He “passes through” there every evening on his way home, enjoying the idyllic scene through the window. One evening he decides to get off the train there & dies of a heart attack. His body is taken to the Willoughby Funeral Home. There is a street named Willoughby a few miles from our home. When we pass it, my husband tells me, “Willoughby, your stop.” I don’t have any reason to get out there. What is he trying to tell me? 



a.

Here we are, dear--I love you 

b.

I only live to serve you 

c.

Get out--the free ride is over 



10. What is a quincunx? 



a.

A dessert made from quinces 

b.

Quintuplet sisters gone bad

c.

This:







11. I was shopping recently & asked for a senior discount. What did they accept as proof of my age? 



a.

My AARP card 

b.

My driver’s license 

c.

My face 



12. I purchased a box of Animal Crackers. There was a warning: If seal is broken, do not eat. What did this mean? 



a.

They are trying to guarantee cleanliness 

b.

Some crackers may break during shipping 

c.

It’s OK to eat the other animals 



BONUS QUESTION: What is a persecution complex? 



a.

A belief that everybody hates you 

b.

A belief that people pick on you for no reason 

c.

I don’t know!! Why am I the ONLY one who has to answer this question? Why can’t you just leave me alone???? 



Please hand in your papers. Class dismissed----fishducky

Charade Blog Tour--Heven and Hell Series

I'm thrilled to have Cambria Hebert here.  Thanks for joining us!




    I
am so excited to be here today during Tour of Italy for the Charade
Blog tour. Charade is the second book in the Heven and Hell series
and in this book the main characters travel to Italy on a school
trip… and because Heven and Sam have a mission to complete.


    For
today’s Tour of Italy Post I have brought along a page from Heven’s
travel journal. So sit back and relax and be transported to Italy!



Dear
Diary,

    Well
we just got off the plane and this place is amazing. The scenery is
so wonderful I don’t even notice that we are on a tour bus with a
group of laughing and loud American teenagers. Sam said I hogged the
window… and I think he was right. Ha ha ha. But once I sat down and
looked out the window I was lost in the rolling hills and scenery.
I’ve never seen anything like it – especially not in Maine.


    Our
first stop is a vineyard that we are taking a route by on our way to
our first hotel. As we pulled up I was in awe of the rows and rows on
grapevines. They all grow so evenly and look so organized. I like it.
And the green of the leaves against the green of the grass creates an
amazing pattern of color and texture. I’ve never seen so many
shades of green until now.

    The
villas sitting a distance away are the color of butter and seem to
rise right out of the hills. I wonder what it would be like to live
in a home like that and wake up to the rows and rows of grapes each
day.

They
took us on a walking tour where we learned about the vineyard,
culture and history.


    We
also learned the basic steps to make wine. First you start with the
vine and the grapes. Climate, soil and other environmental factors
determine the quality of grape. Then the wine makers have to
determine the best time to harvest the grapes. They have to be peak
condition to make the best wine. Handpicking is the best method for
harvesting because it ensures less bruising but they also use
machines to harvest.

    Next,
the grapes are prepared and crushed. They get separated from their
stems and leaves. White Grapes usually get separated from their skins
while red grapes remain with their skin to promote color and flavor.

Then
the wine is fermented. That’s when the sugars in the grapes turn to
alcohol.

    Once
the wine is fermented is gets separated from any leftover particles
and then bottled. Some wines can be drank right away while others are
aged for some time before being sold.

    It’s
an interesting process. They wouldn’t let us try the wine. But
that’s okay because Sam and I snuck a grape right off the vine. I
think that the grapes probably taste better fresh than fermented
anyway.

    This
was a fantastic start to this trip. I already feel relaxed and I
actually think that I will enjoy this trip and Italy instead of
worrying the whole time I am here.




    Here
is my favorite picture that we took at the vineyard:




[image error]


And
here are a couple of snapshots:

[image error]  

[image error]





    Aren’t
the vineyards beautiful. I thought they were really peaceful and a
great way to begin our trip to Italy!

Heven




    And
that is an exclusive peak at one of the pages of Heven’s travel
diary. Be sure to follow along on the Tour of Italy week to see all
the exclusive pictures of Heven and Sam (and Cole!) during their trip
and on the final day of the tour you will be able to enter to win a
One of a Kind, super exclusive (I don’t even have one) swag.
Heven’s Travel Diary. Complete with each journal entry and all the
pictures of her and Sam! There will be other goodies as well.




About the book:


[image error]
 


    Dying
at the hands of a psycho was a shock. Having my life returned to me
by an angel was incredible. Being named a Supernatural Treasure and
being given Sam as my guard was pretty darn awesome. Acquiring a debt
for it all—well, I should have seen it coming.

    Now
here we are, fighting demons from Hell, caring for a boy that I just
don’t trust, and traveling to faraway places to return a treasure
to its rightful place. Nothing is as it seems. Everyone wears a mask;
everyone puts on a charade. It’s up to us to separate the truth
from the lies and reality from fiction. A hard task when my new
reality involves fallen angels, witches and dragons… and did I
mention Hell?

    Anchoring
me down through it all is Sam. Sam, who must face tragedies of his
own and is put to the test again and again.

If
we fail in our task, life as we know it—life as
you know
it—will end. Forever.

Links
to Purchase:

(Paperback
and Ebook)

Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_2_10?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=charade+by+cambria+hebert&sprefix=Charade+by%2Caps%2C443



Barnes
and Noble:
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/Charade-by-Cambria-Hebert?keyword=Charade+by+Cambria+Hebert&store=allproducts&iehack=%E2%98%A0



Smashwords:
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/163192

Two NEW Releases!

If you're visiting for Fishducky Friday, please go here:


I’M SORRY, MOM (PART 3)--Fishducky Friday




Congratulations to Melynda and Pat Hatt!

I'm so excited that both of their new books are here.




More Nonsense





From
being Wonder Woman, hunting mice and fighting naked little boys,
Melynda does it all. Come read about her hilarious life from April -
June, 2011.




HERE 's the link to her blog.



  

Boo and the Backyard Zoo



 

Every
day Boo floats about his haunt having everything he could ever want.
He ignores the evil Nugget and his Flashy Parakeets who think they rule
the streets. That is until Nugget captures Grape Face then it becomes
quite the race. For Boo brings with him The Backyard Zoo to help in his
quest. Will they be able to free Grape Face from Nugget's nest? Or
will Nugget win. To find out just add this new book by Pat Hatt to your
bin. 





 







Also, I had to showcase this awesome artwork by Candiss West.

We hired her to create something for the Wayman Publishing site.

Can you see the "W" made by the three pathways.

She calls this "Wayman Road."  I LOVE it.




Please click on the picture to see more of her artwork.

I’M SORRY, MOM (PART 3)--Fishducky Friday

(or OH, TO BE IN NEW ENGLAND WHEN THE FOLIAGE IS FOLIAGING*)


When we were last visiting, Bud & I were still roughing it in our squalid quarters at the Waldorf.
          

    On October 1st,
we rented a car & started our drive up the East Coast.  We’d never
seen the beautiful fall foliage there & we were really looking
forward to it.  I even had my new camera with me.  No matter what
direction you turned, the scenery

                                     
                                       

was breathtaking—it was impossible to take a bad picture!  Here are 4 of the many shots that I took:

 



   
Our first destination was Connecticut, to see our son & his family.
 After a few days there, we drove through Rhode Island to
Massachusetts, where, of course, we HAD to see Plymouth Rock.  The rock,
itself, is now quite small—4 or 5 feet high.  They estimate it to be
only about 1/6th
of the original size.  The rest of it has gone to museums--&
souvenir hunters.  It’s now enclosed in a monument, which protects it
from the elements--& people.

 

   
Right offshore, there’s the Mayflower II, a replica of the original.
 On board, people are living, working & speaking as if it were still
the 1600’s.  Very interesting!!

   
From there, it was on to New Hampshire.  We rode the funicular railroad
up Mt. Washington & saw The Old Man of the Mountain, a natural rock
formation.  The following is taken from Wikipedia: Daniel Webster, a New Hampshire native,
 once wrote: "Men hang out their signs indicative of their respective
trades; shoe makers hang out a gigantic shoe; jewelers a monster watch,
and the dentist hangs out a gold tooth; but up in the Mountains of New
Hampshire, God Almighty has hung out a sign to show that there He makes
men."  Unfortunately,
like the old woman in the TV ads, he’s fallen & he can’t get up.
 He fell several years ago but he was there when we were!

 

   
Next, we went to Maine.  We had no plans of going there, but we’d heard
Bar Harbor was nice.  We loved it!  The town was lovely & the
people were very friendly.  We had no hotel reservations for anywhere on
this trip—we just went where the winds blew us--& I’m so glad they
blew us to Maine.  (I could have used a little less wind, though.  I was
getting something out of the trunk of the car & the wind slammed it
down on me---OOWWWW!!)  We loved Acadia National Park (below).  It was
beautiful!

   

   
We had spent our honeymoon in Las Vegas, so we decided to stop at
Niagara Falls on the way back to the airport.  It was magnificent!!  We
rode on the ship, The Maid of the Mist, right up to the falls.  This is
not me—I just wanted to show you the rainwear everyone is issued.  The
other picture shows why!

   

              
                                                  


This is me at the falls:

 

    The
freeways (or turnpikes/expressways, or whatever they call them there)
don’t have exits as often as we’re used to.  We were heading to the
airport to catch a plane home—the only reservation we’d made on this
trip--& we missed the exit.  We had to go to the next one—25 miles
away, get off & go back.  We had a 50 mile detour.  We made it in
time, instead of early.  No problem.  We always had lots of
laughs--& FUN—when we travelled!
    *I know “foliaging” isn’t a word, but it should be!----fishducky

Taking Off the Cape . . .

Lately it seems like things are spinning out of control.  I hate admitting this now, not because I want to be a ball of pride but because my writing career has really taken off--which is amazing.  More people have heard about Zeke and his story .  I've spoken at fifteen assemblies and had eight signings in the last two months.     

    With Sky getting sick, though, with certain people--who are close to me--not being supportive of my writing . . . things have gotten tough.  I won't give up even if I do need to slow down.  

    Being a mother of four is busy, and as you all know, my kids need to come first.  Plus, doing all of this career stuff, well, it's like trying to be Wonder Woman--and I learned while skydiving, I suck at flying.  So, I'm going to take off my cape.  According to many, capes can be quite dangerous anyway.  




 

    I'll just be posting every Wednesday for the next while.  Fishducky has generously offered to post every Monday and Friday while I'm slowing down.



So, back to the Hippie . . .   

    The doctors still don't know exactly what's going on with her.  We really do appreciate your prayers.  Melynda called yesterday and said her family was praying--in French!  The Hippie thought that was awesome.  (Remember when she was thrilled with Altoids since they're made in Great Britain.)  And later she even told me, "Someday I'll go to France because the people there already like me."  

    We were at the hospital for a while again yesterday.  She's had so many blood tests.  We finally got bored in the waiting room and so I pulled out an advance copy of my next book The Best of EC Writes, and started reading it to the Hippie.  For you to see how funny this was, I need to show you the front and back cover:


 

Yes, the following picture is of me on the toilet again.

Read that story HERE






    Well, I read a very silly chapter to the Hippie.  It was about how I bought a planter barrel.  I grabbed it at the entrance and when some old man yelled, thinking I stole it, instead of politely telling him I'd paid, I started running.  Still . . . I don't know why I ran, but it WAS hilarious.  Anyway, some of the people in the waiting room looked at me as I read.  A couple of them snickered quietly.  That's when I noticed a fancy woman staring at the cover of my book.  

    "You know," she whispered to the girl next to her.  "The cover looks like the woman who's reading the book."

    I knew they looked at me and then the cover.  Then the young girl said, "Oh my gosh!  Is that YOU . . . on a toilet?"

    "Shhh." her mother said.  "Of course that isn't her . . . on a toilet.  No one reads a book with their own picture on the cover."   

    I cleared my throat.  "Actually, it is.  I'm checking it for typos.  It's the final proof copy."

    "Are you kidding, can I look?" she asked.

    "Sure," I said.  And by this point, the Hippie seemed a bit amused.  I hoped the whole situation took her mind from the pain.

    The lady opened the book, read for a long time, went from red to pale.  She laughed so hard at one point, wiped the tears from her eyes and gave it back. "I have to buy that."

    "What story did you read?" I asked, clutching to her words.  It must have been the best story in the whole book! 

    "Oh, just about the time you got The Clap."

    Then MY face went red.  Of all the stupid stories--why had she read that one!

    "I'm gonna be laughing about your book all day."

    "Mama," the Hippie said later, "what's The Clap?"

    "I just found out last year.  Trust me, you do not want to know!  Like Uncle Shane said, no one ever told me about The Clap's true meaning.  They said the less I knew about it, the less chance I'd have of getting it."

    The Hippie just looked confused.

    "Never mind, I'll tell you when you're older." 

    "Not that again.  Mama, people are praying for me in French!  Can't you tell me grown-up things now?"

    "No, Honey.  Not until people are praying for you in Italian."




    If you'd like to find out what I thought The Clap was, please go HERE

    I'll be back next Wednesday.

We went to Primary Children's

The Hippie got a fever and wouldn't stop throwing up. She complained of more stomach pains, so we went to Primary Children's. We were there until midnight last night. Anyway, they think she either has an ulcer or Celiac Disease (gluten intolerance). Everything else looks great--which is so good. We're exhausted, but I feel better knowing what's going on. Poor kid. She's been in so much pain on and off for a long time and the docs just kept saying it was the flu. We're going back in today. Wish us luck.