E.C. Stilson's Blog, page 87
September 27, 2012
Guest Post: Five of the Most Embarrassing Toddler Situations
First off, I'd like to say Happy Birthday, Fishducky! You can go visit her
HERE
.
Now onto the post of the day. Nancy Parker is joining us. I can't wait for you to read her amazing writing! Take it away, Nancy!
Five of the Most Embarrassing Toddler Situations
If you're a new parent, you're probably already bracing yourself for the funny and embarrassing things your child will do. Before your child learns how to behave well, she will probably get into some amusing situations. This list takes a look at some of the scenarios you can expect and what to do when they happen.
1. Not Sharing – Most toddlers don't initially understand the concept of sharing. If your toddler is similar to most children, she will consider a toy hers as soon as she touches it. If another child dares to even look at your child's toy, a small tantrum may erupt from either child. This situation is usually unavoidable until your child gets older. You can, however, attempt to distract the unhappy child with another toy.
2. Making a Scene – Even the most prepared parents must sometimes deal with an unhappy child in a public place. For example, your child might spot an item he wants at the grocery store. If you don't grant his request, he may start to cry and scream. If your child can't calm down, take him outside for a few minutes of fresh air. You can resume your shopping later.
3. Household Damage – Toddlers are very good at doing exactly what you wish they wouldn't. For example, a wandering child may use her crayons to draw on your living room wall. You can prevent these mishaps by monitoring the items in your child's reach. However, since it's not always possible to watch your child, invest in a number of quality cleaners to clean up these accidents.
4. A Sad Parting – Some toddlers do not react well when a parent leaves them at daycare or with a babysitter. Your child may begin to wail and throw a tantrum if you try to leave her. This situation may make you feel embarrassed, especially if there are other parents around. However, tantrums of this nature happen all the time. The best thing you can do is to comfort your child and reassure her that you will return later.
5. Repeating Words – Even the youngest toddlers can pick up on your words and repeat them later at the worst possible time. For example, your toddler may have heard you swear when you dropped a heavy item on your foot. Days later, your child may repeat that word when you're at the library together. To avoid this embarrassing situation, you must always remember that your child is similar to a parrot. Take care with what words you say in front of your child.
Raising children is an exciting journey with few dull moments. When embarrassing situations happen with your children, just remember that these experiences happen to every parent. The best you can do is to laugh about it later.
Nancy Parker was a professional nanny and she loves to write about wide range of subjects like health, Parenting,
Child Care, Babysitting, nanny, www.enannysource.com/ etc. You can reach her @ nancy.parker015@gmail.com
Now onto the post of the day. Nancy Parker is joining us. I can't wait for you to read her amazing writing! Take it away, Nancy!
Five of the Most Embarrassing Toddler Situations
If you're a new parent, you're probably already bracing yourself for the funny and embarrassing things your child will do. Before your child learns how to behave well, she will probably get into some amusing situations. This list takes a look at some of the scenarios you can expect and what to do when they happen.
1. Not Sharing – Most toddlers don't initially understand the concept of sharing. If your toddler is similar to most children, she will consider a toy hers as soon as she touches it. If another child dares to even look at your child's toy, a small tantrum may erupt from either child. This situation is usually unavoidable until your child gets older. You can, however, attempt to distract the unhappy child with another toy.
2. Making a Scene – Even the most prepared parents must sometimes deal with an unhappy child in a public place. For example, your child might spot an item he wants at the grocery store. If you don't grant his request, he may start to cry and scream. If your child can't calm down, take him outside for a few minutes of fresh air. You can resume your shopping later.
3. Household Damage – Toddlers are very good at doing exactly what you wish they wouldn't. For example, a wandering child may use her crayons to draw on your living room wall. You can prevent these mishaps by monitoring the items in your child's reach. However, since it's not always possible to watch your child, invest in a number of quality cleaners to clean up these accidents.
4. A Sad Parting – Some toddlers do not react well when a parent leaves them at daycare or with a babysitter. Your child may begin to wail and throw a tantrum if you try to leave her. This situation may make you feel embarrassed, especially if there are other parents around. However, tantrums of this nature happen all the time. The best thing you can do is to comfort your child and reassure her that you will return later.
5. Repeating Words – Even the youngest toddlers can pick up on your words and repeat them later at the worst possible time. For example, your toddler may have heard you swear when you dropped a heavy item on your foot. Days later, your child may repeat that word when you're at the library together. To avoid this embarrassing situation, you must always remember that your child is similar to a parrot. Take care with what words you say in front of your child.
Raising children is an exciting journey with few dull moments. When embarrassing situations happen with your children, just remember that these experiences happen to every parent. The best you can do is to laugh about it later.
Nancy Parker was a professional nanny and she loves to write about wide range of subjects like health, Parenting,
Child Care, Babysitting, nanny, www.enannysource.com/ etc. You can reach her @ nancy.parker015@gmail.com
September 26, 2012
I Passed the Test!
We drove up to a lush yard with steps stretching toward a darling home. Fishducky sat on the top step and I recognized her immediately.
"Cade! That's her," I squealed. And before he even completely stopped the truck, I jumped out, ran up the steps and hugged her.
The rest of the day was amazing. We visited like we'd known each other forever. Fishducky even gave the Hippie and Scribe a drawing lesson!
We ate at a genuine Jewish deli--with valet parking! After eating a matzo ball the size of Milwaukee, we went outside and I saw someone getting their shoes shined! The man sat in a display window and everything--how epic is that?
So today I feel fancy. I visited the famous Fishducky, met a valet, saw an actual shoe shining and even played music for Fishducky and Bud. We had such a blast.
Thanks for your kindness, Fishducky, and for being so sweet to my family.
"Cade! That's her," I squealed. And before he even completely stopped the truck, I jumped out, ran up the steps and hugged her.
The rest of the day was amazing. We visited like we'd known each other forever. Fishducky even gave the Hippie and Scribe a drawing lesson!
We ate at a genuine Jewish deli--with valet parking! After eating a matzo ball the size of Milwaukee, we went outside and I saw someone getting their shoes shined! The man sat in a display window and everything--how epic is that?
So today I feel fancy. I visited the famous Fishducky, met a valet, saw an actual shoe shining and even played music for Fishducky and Bud. We had such a blast.
Thanks for your kindness, Fishducky, and for being so sweet to my family.
September 25, 2012
Whale Watching!
We went whale watching yesterday. I've always wanted to go, but we've never had enough money until now. It was absolutely amazing, and I smiled the whole time.
I even made Dr. Jones a dress to wear on the boat. This is one of my favorite pictures from the trip:
It might be hard to see, but I appliqued an anchor on one pant-leg and a boat on the other.
Also, we received some great news last night. Remember how I'm signing at the Orange County Children's Book Festival? Well, they're letting Cade and me play music there!
Here's some of our music:
We'll be performing and signing near the main entrance to the Festival, on the way to the Storyteller Stage!!! Such a great location.
Well, I hope all of you are having a great day. We're just getting ready to meet Fishducky. I'll tell you all about that tomorrow ;)
I even made Dr. Jones a dress to wear on the boat. This is one of my favorite pictures from the trip:
It might be hard to see, but I appliqued an anchor on one pant-leg and a boat on the other.
Also, we received some great news last night. Remember how I'm signing at the Orange County Children's Book Festival? Well, they're letting Cade and me play music there!
Here's some of our music:
We'll be performing and signing near the main entrance to the Festival, on the way to the Storyteller Stage!!! Such a great location.
Well, I hope all of you are having a great day. We're just getting ready to meet Fishducky. I'll tell you all about that tomorrow ;)
September 24, 2012
Prospective Friend Questionnaire
Remember my
last post
? How we were going to California for a book signing and to meet Fishducky in person? Well, we're here! AND although we won't meet Fishducky until Tuesday, she sent me a questionnaire. My answers are below.
How would you have answered these epic questions?
Why do you want this position?
There's only one Fishducky and although she's famous, she's not on Wikipedia yet. I actually searched for her there and I couldn't believe what Wikipedia "suggested" I search for instead. It's terrible, really: http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?search=fishducky&title=Special%3ASearch
This problem needs to be remedied--and as a friend I would fix this and write a Wikipedia article about what a "Fishducky" really is. . I'd also like the position--because Fishducky is awesome--obviously.
Have you had friends previously?
2a) If so, why did you leave them?
(I accidentally read this as: If so, why did you have them?)
Yes, because they let me make cakes, brownies and other desserts for them. They also generously allowed me to buy them massages and other gifts any time I wanted to.
2b) How long did you have your last friend?
People who like my cakes and gift certificates have stayed around for months--even years!
Would you be willing to work overtime if necessary?
That depends on the size of the cake. I'll make a four-layer beauty to keep friends, but I'm not willing to invest more time than that. Also, I only purchase one massage a year--since I'm not as rich as J.K. Rowling.
What was your previous salary?
4a) There is no salary involved. Would that be a problem?
This has never been a problem. I'm actually used to paying my friends to stick around. Wait . . . am I missing something? Should this be a problem?
5) Are you able to give me total loyalty?
5a) Would you be willing to lay down your life for me?
I would lay down my life for you, but it depends on how. I'm not much on gunfire--or regular fire--I don't like suffocating (although I've yet to try it). I don't agree with drowning. I'm also against humans, hurting each other or themselves. If it involves anything else, possibly jumping out of a plane for you (if I have a parachute) I'd probably do that.
5b) If not, why not?
See above explanation.
If we had an argument, would you admit that I’m right?
Yes . . . I mean, if that's how you'd answer this question. However you'd answer this is right. Right?
Bonus question
What is the meaning of life?
Conrey & Ghosh have conjectured . . .
In other words . . . 42
But I beg to differ. I looked it up on Webster's and this is the meaning of life: "the animate existence or period of animate existence of an individual."
Why are people always asking about the meaning of life when it's right in the dictionary?
How would you have answered these epic questions?
Why do you want this position?
There's only one Fishducky and although she's famous, she's not on Wikipedia yet. I actually searched for her there and I couldn't believe what Wikipedia "suggested" I search for instead. It's terrible, really: http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?search=fishducky&title=Special%3ASearch
This problem needs to be remedied--and as a friend I would fix this and write a Wikipedia article about what a "Fishducky" really is. . I'd also like the position--because Fishducky is awesome--obviously.
Have you had friends previously?
2a) If so, why did you leave them?
(I accidentally read this as: If so, why did you have them?)
Yes, because they let me make cakes, brownies and other desserts for them. They also generously allowed me to buy them massages and other gifts any time I wanted to.
2b) How long did you have your last friend?
People who like my cakes and gift certificates have stayed around for months--even years!
Would you be willing to work overtime if necessary?
That depends on the size of the cake. I'll make a four-layer beauty to keep friends, but I'm not willing to invest more time than that. Also, I only purchase one massage a year--since I'm not as rich as J.K. Rowling.
What was your previous salary?
4a) There is no salary involved. Would that be a problem?
This has never been a problem. I'm actually used to paying my friends to stick around. Wait . . . am I missing something? Should this be a problem?
5) Are you able to give me total loyalty?
5a) Would you be willing to lay down your life for me?
I would lay down my life for you, but it depends on how. I'm not much on gunfire--or regular fire--I don't like suffocating (although I've yet to try it). I don't agree with drowning. I'm also against humans, hurting each other or themselves. If it involves anything else, possibly jumping out of a plane for you (if I have a parachute) I'd probably do that.
5b) If not, why not?
See above explanation.
If we had an argument, would you admit that I’m right?
Yes . . . I mean, if that's how you'd answer this question. However you'd answer this is right. Right?
Bonus question
What is the meaning of life?
Conrey & Ghosh have conjectured . . .
In other words . . . 42
But I beg to differ. I looked it up on Webster's and this is the meaning of life: "the animate existence or period of animate existence of an individual."
Why are people always asking about the meaning of life when it's right in the dictionary?
September 21, 2012
I'm going to California!
I'm getting sooo excited because tomorrow we're driving to California. On Tuesday I'm meeting the famous Fishducky! And on Sunday September 30th, I'm signing at the Orange County Children's Book Festival; some bloggers might even come see me.
I can't wait to meet Fishducky. But the obvious question is 'will she like me?'
"We're looking forward to it," she said.
"But, Fishducky, you haven't met me in person--you don't even know if you like me yet."
"Oh that's right," she said.
I nearly bit my nails as we talked. She's epic, AMAZING, how can I possibly make myself duck-worthy? Then I thought about it and sighed with relief because I'm great at job interviews. Hell, I got a job as a mechanic even when I had no experience! Sometimes acting confident is enough.
"It'll be like a job interview," I blurted. "Will you have me fill out a friendship questionnaire or something? How will I know if you liked me?" And my four wild children.
"That's not a bad idea! And you'll know if I like you . . . at the very end."
So, Fishducky sent me a questionnaire. I did my best, but the official friend interview will take place on Tuesday.
Cross your fingers for me!
But I do have a few tricks up my sleeves. Cade and I are bringing our instruments. I might have candy and tell the kids they can have it only if they're darling during the interview. Oh and I made Dr. Jones a new dress so at least that'll help make a good impression.
Also, I'll make sure we all smell nice.
Any other suggestions?
I can't wait to meet Fishducky. But the obvious question is 'will she like me?'
"We're looking forward to it," she said.
"But, Fishducky, you haven't met me in person--you don't even know if you like me yet."
"Oh that's right," she said.
I nearly bit my nails as we talked. She's epic, AMAZING, how can I possibly make myself duck-worthy? Then I thought about it and sighed with relief because I'm great at job interviews. Hell, I got a job as a mechanic even when I had no experience! Sometimes acting confident is enough.
"It'll be like a job interview," I blurted. "Will you have me fill out a friendship questionnaire or something? How will I know if you liked me?" And my four wild children.
"That's not a bad idea! And you'll know if I like you . . . at the very end."
So, Fishducky sent me a questionnaire. I did my best, but the official friend interview will take place on Tuesday.
Cross your fingers for me!
But I do have a few tricks up my sleeves. Cade and I are bringing our instruments. I might have candy and tell the kids they can have it only if they're darling during the interview. Oh and I made Dr. Jones a new dress so at least that'll help make a good impression.
Also, I'll make sure we all smell nice.
Any other suggestions?
September 20, 2012
Want to get published?
Ever wished to be like Sleeping Beauty so you could take a
nap--for once? Isn't it annoying how the fairytale princes always get
the girl, or how the three little pigs always beat the wolf?
Well, that's about to change. . . .
Wayman Publishing is releasing Open Doors 2--an anthology where authors write their own hilarious, unique, or even tragic versions of fairy tales and nursery rhymes.
Submissions are FREE. This could be a great publication credit if your work is accepted.
If you have what it takes, send your 2,000 word or less story to waymanpublishing@gmail.com before October 31st, 2012 and you could be published.
If your story is accepted, an editor will email you by November 5th, 2012.
For questions and more info about that, please go HERE .
Now onto the post of the day.
Top Ten WORST Reasons to try getting published:
#1 My wife is pregnant and I'd like to work from home.
Contrary to popular belief, unless you're J.K. Rowling, writing does not pay much. If you stay on this path of destruction, you may end up with an unhappy wife, a baby, a bunch of Top Ramen and food stamps. Best of wishes.
#2 Family Pressure: My Dad is a writer so I should be, too.
False! While this may sound great, you need to do what you love. Why waste your life living it for someone else, honestly?
#3 It'll help me make friends with celebrities.
Writing isn't the key to friendship or romance--unless it's Harlequin. And what's the famous part here for? After authoring books, most people become eccentric (myself included). Every author I know has on occasion cried or laughed hysterically at their own writing. They talk as if their characters are real. I doubt I could have made many friends after becoming a writer. Get life-long regular friends first--then write.
#4 I want revenge--and I like nonfiction.
While this might sound exciting, it's not.
I write nonfiction. I never thought people would read my work, but they have. There's nothing worse than a real, live villain leaving you a terrible review on Amazon because they don't like what you've written about them. Pen name or not, this leads to disaster!
#5 I want to be a billionaire/recluse!
Then writing is not a great idea. Just to break even I have to talk at assemblies and signings. I LOVE this, but never realized how much it's a part of writing today. In fact, *smiling,* I'm going to Southern California for my writing next week--yahoo! More details HERE .
#6 Everything I write comes out perfect the first time, a gift from God that's meant to be.
Edit, edit, edit. All writing can be polished, trust me. I'll do nearly anything to make my work the best it can be. It just makes sense.
#7 For the Children
Once again, this needs to be for you. Writing can be a tough, thankless business. If you don't love it, what will keep you going through negative feedback and endless revisions? If you want to do something for the children, adopt.
#8 Because I like eating out at McDonald's.
I seriously read this somewhere. The person said they liked writing because it was a good excuse to eat out and write on their laptop. Is McD's really that good?
#9 I like to lie, so I'll be great at fiction.
Seek help!
#10 I want to be a writer because my butt is sagging?
Now who in the world wrote this ? And who would be vain enough to worry about their butt anyway? I wonder. My advice to this . . . ahem person. Get over it! *giggling*
Five Best Reasons to Write?
#1 You LOVE writing.
#2 It helps you become a better person.
#3 You want to help others.
#4 You're willing to do what it takes (editing, promoting, etc.)
#5 ?????
What do you think, what's number five? Do you have anything to add to this or the completely silly list above?
P.S. I can't wait for the next Wayman Anthology . I think it'll be amazing!
nap--for once? Isn't it annoying how the fairytale princes always get
the girl, or how the three little pigs always beat the wolf?
Well, that's about to change. . . .
Wayman Publishing is releasing Open Doors 2--an anthology where authors write their own hilarious, unique, or even tragic versions of fairy tales and nursery rhymes.
Submissions are FREE. This could be a great publication credit if your work is accepted.
If you have what it takes, send your 2,000 word or less story to waymanpublishing@gmail.com before October 31st, 2012 and you could be published.
If your story is accepted, an editor will email you by November 5th, 2012.
For questions and more info about that, please go HERE .
Now onto the post of the day.
Top Ten WORST Reasons to try getting published:
#1 My wife is pregnant and I'd like to work from home.
Contrary to popular belief, unless you're J.K. Rowling, writing does not pay much. If you stay on this path of destruction, you may end up with an unhappy wife, a baby, a bunch of Top Ramen and food stamps. Best of wishes.
#2 Family Pressure: My Dad is a writer so I should be, too.
False! While this may sound great, you need to do what you love. Why waste your life living it for someone else, honestly?
#3 It'll help me make friends with celebrities.
Writing isn't the key to friendship or romance--unless it's Harlequin. And what's the famous part here for? After authoring books, most people become eccentric (myself included). Every author I know has on occasion cried or laughed hysterically at their own writing. They talk as if their characters are real. I doubt I could have made many friends after becoming a writer. Get life-long regular friends first--then write.
#4 I want revenge--and I like nonfiction.
While this might sound exciting, it's not.
I write nonfiction. I never thought people would read my work, but they have. There's nothing worse than a real, live villain leaving you a terrible review on Amazon because they don't like what you've written about them. Pen name or not, this leads to disaster!
#5 I want to be a billionaire/recluse!
Then writing is not a great idea. Just to break even I have to talk at assemblies and signings. I LOVE this, but never realized how much it's a part of writing today. In fact, *smiling,* I'm going to Southern California for my writing next week--yahoo! More details HERE .
#6 Everything I write comes out perfect the first time, a gift from God that's meant to be.
Edit, edit, edit. All writing can be polished, trust me. I'll do nearly anything to make my work the best it can be. It just makes sense.
#7 For the Children
Once again, this needs to be for you. Writing can be a tough, thankless business. If you don't love it, what will keep you going through negative feedback and endless revisions? If you want to do something for the children, adopt.
#8 Because I like eating out at McDonald's.
I seriously read this somewhere. The person said they liked writing because it was a good excuse to eat out and write on their laptop. Is McD's really that good?
#9 I like to lie, so I'll be great at fiction.
Seek help!
#10 I want to be a writer because my butt is sagging?
Now who in the world wrote this ? And who would be vain enough to worry about their butt anyway? I wonder. My advice to this . . . ahem person. Get over it! *giggling*
Five Best Reasons to Write?
#1 You LOVE writing.
#2 It helps you become a better person.
#3 You want to help others.
#4 You're willing to do what it takes (editing, promoting, etc.)
#5 ?????
What do you think, what's number five? Do you have anything to add to this or the completely silly list above?
P.S. I can't wait for the next Wayman Anthology . I think it'll be amazing!
September 19, 2012
My Butt's Sagging!
If you have an aversion to honesty, please don't read this post.
As advertised, I have no boobs. And although depressing, it's been all right because there are two types of women in this world. Girls either have great butts or great boobs. AND if they have both (without surgery) they're freaks of nature and I can't associate with them.
She feels my pain.
But seriously, I've been proud of my behind. Once a guy said we couldn't date because I had no boobs; I took pride in the fact that as I walked away, he looked at my good side--and I hope he regretted being a jerk!
Yesterday, I donned a pair of fancy, albeit second-hand, jeans, and after glancing in the mirror, I gasped. My butt is starting to sag! Sure I'll be thirty in February, but does this really need to happen now? Can't I have my butt for a few more months?
In total sadness, I yelled to Cade for reassurance. "Is it honestly sagging?"
"Well, no. But it does look different since we got married."
"Of course it does! I was seventeen and now I'm almost thirty."
"Not because of that," he said, and I thought he might save himself before saying, "it's because your hips spread after having five kids."
"Five of YOUR kids."
"Yeah," he laughed and I LEFT THE ROOM. I've given him everything and in return he took my butt away!
Then I called my mom. For any of you who've read The Golden Sky , you know my mom loves water, but I hate it. Anyway I called and she said, "I told you, you should be drinking more water."
"Oh, you. You'll say anything to get me drinking water."
"You've still been walking up the stairs a lot, right?" she asked and after saying 'yes' I hung up shortly after.
So, it's time to have a funeral for my 'good part.' Maybe I should wear butt pads like Angelina Jolie--I can stuff my bra as well--then the world will have no idea the joke's on them! Guys will check out my stuffing and I'll giggle--since it's only toilet paper.
Or is it simply time to use wrinkle cream--and exercise?
I tried some butt exercises yesterday where you're supposed to walk on your tip-toes, squat, and flex your cheeks separately with each step. I looked out my front window and a neighbor guy--who wears sweats in the summertime--stared like I'm the idiot. Doesn't he know my butt is sagging--and although it's not a big deal to anyone else it's a sign that I'm aging, mortal, dramatic, and I could die at anytime.
For the sake of humanity--please let these butt flexes save my good part.
In the name of Jesus,
Amen.
As advertised, I have no boobs. And although depressing, it's been all right because there are two types of women in this world. Girls either have great butts or great boobs. AND if they have both (without surgery) they're freaks of nature and I can't associate with them.
She feels my pain.
But seriously, I've been proud of my behind. Once a guy said we couldn't date because I had no boobs; I took pride in the fact that as I walked away, he looked at my good side--and I hope he regretted being a jerk!
Yesterday, I donned a pair of fancy, albeit second-hand, jeans, and after glancing in the mirror, I gasped. My butt is starting to sag! Sure I'll be thirty in February, but does this really need to happen now? Can't I have my butt for a few more months?
In total sadness, I yelled to Cade for reassurance. "Is it honestly sagging?"
"Well, no. But it does look different since we got married."
"Of course it does! I was seventeen and now I'm almost thirty."
"Not because of that," he said, and I thought he might save himself before saying, "it's because your hips spread after having five kids."
"Five of YOUR kids."
"Yeah," he laughed and I LEFT THE ROOM. I've given him everything and in return he took my butt away!
Then I called my mom. For any of you who've read The Golden Sky , you know my mom loves water, but I hate it. Anyway I called and she said, "I told you, you should be drinking more water."
"Oh, you. You'll say anything to get me drinking water."
"You've still been walking up the stairs a lot, right?" she asked and after saying 'yes' I hung up shortly after.
So, it's time to have a funeral for my 'good part.' Maybe I should wear butt pads like Angelina Jolie--I can stuff my bra as well--then the world will have no idea the joke's on them! Guys will check out my stuffing and I'll giggle--since it's only toilet paper.
Or is it simply time to use wrinkle cream--and exercise?
I tried some butt exercises yesterday where you're supposed to walk on your tip-toes, squat, and flex your cheeks separately with each step. I looked out my front window and a neighbor guy--who wears sweats in the summertime--stared like I'm the idiot. Doesn't he know my butt is sagging--and although it's not a big deal to anyone else it's a sign that I'm aging, mortal, dramatic, and I could die at anytime.
For the sake of humanity--please let these butt flexes save my good part.
In the name of Jesus,
Amen.
September 18, 2012
How to Potty Train a Girl
Mistake of the day: Telling The Zombie Elf (my four-year-old boy) he'll get candy every time the baby uses the potty.
This has evolved into slave labor! I turn around and he's herding her to the toilet.Yes, she'll potty train fast, but she might need counseling afterward.
*headdesk*
Note to self: Never do THAT again.
This has evolved into slave labor! I turn around and he's herding her to the toilet.Yes, she'll potty train fast, but she might need counseling afterward.
*headdesk*
Note to self: Never do THAT again.
September 17, 2012
Pixies vs. Fairies?
The Hippie cornered me. "I know who the tooth fairy is. I saw--"
"Shhh," I said. "Don't talk so loud." I had to think fast. She was about to blow my cover. Then it came to me--the perfect lie. "Hippie," I whispered. "I've been doing research about the area we live in. Fairies don't live here, only pixies have been sighted. But we can't talk about this too long or too loudly. Pixies are very mischievous. They can change their shape, even look like you, or me. And they could be anywhere, listening. Now, what were you going to tell me?"
She gasped. "Well, I thought I saw you taking my tooth, but now I'm not sure. Mom, are you the Tooth Fairy or was it a pixie?"
"Pixies must live in this area." I shook my head in disbelief. "They're so crafty."
She nodded before smiling. "I'm so glad you told me all of this."
"Me too," I said, feeling like a superhero. I might not own a cape, or know how to fly, but I know how to save innocence and keep kids' imaginations alive. BAM!--take that Batman!
"Shhh," I said. "Don't talk so loud." I had to think fast. She was about to blow my cover. Then it came to me--the perfect lie. "Hippie," I whispered. "I've been doing research about the area we live in. Fairies don't live here, only pixies have been sighted. But we can't talk about this too long or too loudly. Pixies are very mischievous. They can change their shape, even look like you, or me. And they could be anywhere, listening. Now, what were you going to tell me?"
She gasped. "Well, I thought I saw you taking my tooth, but now I'm not sure. Mom, are you the Tooth Fairy or was it a pixie?"
"Pixies must live in this area." I shook my head in disbelief. "They're so crafty."
She nodded before smiling. "I'm so glad you told me all of this."
"Me too," I said, feeling like a superhero. I might not own a cape, or know how to fly, but I know how to save innocence and keep kids' imaginations alive. BAM!--take that Batman!
September 14, 2012
You are what you eat--What does that mean?
Seriously, what does "You Are What You Eat" really mean?
I remember this saying from back in high school. I sat eating apples with a really great guy. Then some bully strutted over and said to my friend, "You are what you eat!"
"What does that mean?" I asked.
"He's eating a fruit isn't he! That makes him a fruit."
The bully walked away, eating a fat boy and I should have yelled at him, "You're an idiot--look what you're eating."
But instead I stayed silent, trying to convey--with my eyes--how sad I felt for my friend the apple-lover.
So what is it with food? Does it have power over who we are? Should I study everything I've eaten instead of my astrological sign? Is there a reason I was silent about the Fat Boy, is it because I love chicken?
Signing off,
E
I remember this saying from back in high school. I sat eating apples with a really great guy. Then some bully strutted over and said to my friend, "You are what you eat!"
"What does that mean?" I asked.
"He's eating a fruit isn't he! That makes him a fruit."
The bully walked away, eating a fat boy and I should have yelled at him, "You're an idiot--look what you're eating."
But instead I stayed silent, trying to convey--with my eyes--how sad I felt for my friend the apple-lover.
So what is it with food? Does it have power over who we are? Should I study everything I've eaten instead of my astrological sign? Is there a reason I was silent about the Fat Boy, is it because I love chicken?
Signing off,
E
