Scott Adams's Blog, page 387

Traits

In the old days you married whoever was nearby and willing. Today you have a greater chance of marrying someone who shares common traits. I wonder how this selective breeding will shape humans of the future.

We're already seeing this to some degree. Athletes often have parents who are both athletes. And geniuses generally have two parents that were inclined in that direction. IQ and athleticism are two obvious categories, but I wonder what other, less heralded traits will get exaggerated in th...

Inappropriate Moments II

<!--[if gte mso 9:]><xml> Normal 0 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 </xml><![endif:]--><!--[if gte mso 9:]><xml> </xml><![endif:]-->I had planned to read the reports of inappropriate witticisms that many of you submitted yesterday and put the best one in today's post. It turns out that there is a problem with that plan: I really don't want anyone to know which one of those stories made me laugh hardest.

Somewhere in the darkest part of my mind there's a little dark room. And inside that room is a closet. And inside the closet is a little box, covered with a wool blanket. That's the place I plan to keep some of your storie...

Inappropriate Witticisms

<!--[if gte mso 9:]><xml> Normal 0 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 </xml><![endif:]--><!--[if gte mso 9:]><xml> </xml><![endif:]--><!--[if !mso:]><div classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id=ieooui></div> <style> st1:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif:]--> <!--[if gte mso 10:]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif:]--> When I was in my mid-twenties I attended a singles mixer in San Francisco, held outdoors on a pier. It was a frightening place for a shy person. One very Dilbert-looking fellow (literally), in a brown leisure suit, went straight to the outdoor bar and started ordering stiff drinks. I watched in awe as he chugged one after another, trying to find some social courage. Unfortunately he reached the blackout point before he reached the witty and charming sweet spot. I happened to be looking in...

Killer Moon

<!--[if gte mso 9:]><xml> Normal 0 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 </xml><![endif:]--><!--[if gte mso 9:]><xml> </xml><![endif:]-->Lately I have been looking at the moon and wondering if it will someday kill me. If I live another 50 years (which is entirely possible) I assume I will eventually be a robot, having shed my old skin and bones body and uploaded a scanned and digitized version of my brain to a machine. My fellow robots and I will live among the meat people for eons until the moon's orbit degrades, either gradually or because a meteor gives it a nudge, and Earth is annihilated in the collision. You might say I ...

The Contradictor

In my recent post about bad personality traits, reader Littlepo mentioned The Contradictor. That's the person who disagrees with everything you say, no matter what you say. I used to find that trait maddening until I took a hypnosis class. My hypnosis teacher taught us how to control that type of personality like a puppet. I couldn't believe how effective it was until I saw it in action.

At the time, I was working for the phone company, and a big part of my job was figuring out which new featu...

Quote

Nature is God's way of killing you.

Dilbert Cubicle Buddy

Your ideas for cubicle toys made me think it would be very cool to have a Dilbert Cubicle Buddy with open standards so you could customize it to a variety of functions.

Imagine a hard plastic Dilbert doll sitting next to your computer, attached by USB. Perhaps it is in wireless contact with a motion sensor outside the cubicle. As someone approaches, Dilbert's eyes light up to warn you.

Maybe you have an RFID device on your keychain, and as you approach your computer the Dilbert Cubicle Buddy d...

Cubicle Toys

Our usual method for determining what sorts of Dilbert products the public might want involves a process I like to call guessing. This is tricky because the people who are drawn to careers in, for example, the T-shirt arts, don't have a lot in common with the typical Dilbert reader who is, generally speaking, good at math.

Lately we've been wondering what type of Dilbert-themed toy, gadget, or decorative item you'd want for your cubicle, or as a gift for someone who is toiling in one. So I'm a...

House Saddle

In the category of clever ideas that are unlikely to be implemented on a wide scale, I like this one:

http://www.solarroadways.com/Press.htm

The idea of putting special solar panels on top of roads sounds appealing, but I can't imagine the panels being sturdy enough. And I can't imagine the costs being low enough. But evidently at least one engineer thinks those problems are solvable.

This got me thinking about doing something similar with houses. And by similar I mean impractical, costly, and unat

Physicists Discover the Illuminati

Have you ever wondered if big swings in financial markets are being orchestrated by a small group of individuals? Let's call this hypothetical group of people the Illuminati.

Your first instinct might be that the financial markets are so vast and diversified that it would be impossible for a small group of individuals to have any real control over it. Think again. Physicists have discovered that a relatively few companies have unexpected influence on markets. And the top name on the list is a pr