Audacia Ray's Blog, page 19

Photo

Photo

Photo

"At the top of the pay scale, technology is delivering on its promise. Workers can increase their..."

“At the top of the pay scale, technology is delivering on its promise. Workers can increase their hours and their output from home and even work second jobs with more ease than ever. But toward the bottom, anxiety lingers, and the Web enables some people to take risks they never would have imagined. In this way, the women of Gilgo Beach still have something to teach us. The Internet might have made pimps less necessary, but today’s escorts are as marginalized as ever, and every bit as vulnerable. The police rarely help them when they are at risk, and they rarely take their disappearances seriously. As far as the authorities are concerned, their profession still seals their fate.”

-

The New Prostitutes - NYTimes.com

Nothing that Bob Kolker says in this piece is outright wrong, and I think he is generally smart. But I still feel kinda mad about it, and it still feels off putting. 

Why? Because we sex workers have been saying the things said in this piece, and the study it cites, for years. We have been delivering this kind of thoughtful analysis, its on the internet and public. But Kolker is a journalist, he has access to the New York Times, he is an editor at New York. So he’s “legit" (is that synonmous with “unbiased"?) in ways that sex workers, even the privileged among us, can’t be.

Photo

Photo

fiercekitty:cat memes + the sex trades = the baseline of my...

fiercekitty:

cat memes + the sex trades = the baseline of my existence

australian-diaspora:

apnsw:

carceral feminist cat 

cat w 

I literally can’t

and if you’re not following this blog you should be, tumblr SWs!

I have a theory and it is simply this - I don't believe that sex work itself is inherently harmful, what is more harmful is the scorn, social isolation and constant questioning of integrity poured upon those of us who choose to sell sex, by a society fille

I have a theory and it is simply this - I don't believe that sex work itself is inherently harmful, what is more harmful is the scorn, social isolation and constant questioning of integrity poured upon those of us who choose to sell sex, by a society filled with hypocrisies.:

redupnyc:

I have a number of problems with this article, which I’m going to go through point by point because they are things I hear very often in the sex worker movement that need to be addressed.

1. “Similarly, stigma bears no relation to your background, ethnicity or chosen faith." Excuse me? Since when were you, a white privileged cis woman from the UK, ever an expert on how either background or ethnicity intersects with stigma around sex work? A great example of how utterly incorrect this is comes from the experiences of trans xicana undocumented folks in the sex trades who are stigmatized in the eyes of the government, particularly the state department and the department of homeland security, in a way that you will never have to deal with nor will ever understand. Or how about how Black women in the sex trades are stigmatized not only as sex workers but as living examples of the ‘Jezebel’ stereotype that continues to linger in the US, albeit less blatantly than in the Jim Crow era.

2. “If you’re wondering what I mean by a ‘society filled with hypocrisies’ let’s consider the ‘Cougar’. Here is a woman who will proactively seek younger men to partner on an almost predatory basis and certainly because she can give him a better lifestyle in exchange for great sex." This example, as well as the one about drunk hookups versus full service work, is fallacious for conflating ‘not as stigmatized’ with ‘not stigmatized.’ ‘Cougars’ are most definitely stigmatized in our society, even when the power dynamics are much more egalitarian. Remember how much shit Demi Moore got for being with Ashton Kutcher? And it was her that got shit, just like in those drunk hook up situations the “oh it happens to everyone" attitude is how it is for the men, not for the women. Women are expected to guard their sexuality: literally the source of both stigmas (though again they differ in magnitude) is the same social oppositional sexism.

3. “Although I am blessed to be surrounded by an amazing support system of friends and allies, I still experience stigma, albeit to a lesser degree. It’s the beatific smile filled with pity, it’s the group of women who fall silent as soon as I enter the room and it’s the man who shook my hand in a green room and when he thought I wasn’t looking, wiped his hand ‘clean’. And that, my friends - is what needs to change." Beginning a statement with “Oh I totally have privilege y’all!" does not excuse any oppressive privileged speech that proceeds it. Certainly social stigma is one huge problem faced by sex workers. But your casual awkward moments are not in anyway comparable to the person kicked out of their home by their landlord or family, to the trans woman already facing so many hurdles to employment being outed or asked to explain how she made a living for several months or years, to those within conservative religious communities who face a complete cutting off from their entire support system and from their place of worship, along with being imbued with guilt and shame. That is why we need to fight against the stigma that sex work carries. It is similar to the white women corporate execs complaining about how much less they are paid than men: certainly it arises from the same misogyny as the wage gap in entry level service work (or sex work) but the privilege of the white woman exec protects her from the worst possible consequences of the discrimination.

So I want to pull away from these three examples general trends I have noticed. For the first statement, it is that the incredibly individualized nature of sex workers and sex worker rights in the Global North has us thinking that our individual perspective is the sex worker perspective, or even worse gives us the ability to speak for sex workers outside our experience. For the second statement, that we need to stop seeing enemies in fellow victims of patriarchy who aren’t sex workers. For the third statement, that effective accountability for and acknowledgment of privilege extends beyond a simple disclaimer, and that the sex worker movement is in desperate need of some class analysis and recognition of intersectionality.

-Emma C.

I am proud to work with Emma at RedUP.

You should read this.

I have a theory and it is simply this - I don't believe that sex work itself is inherently harmful, what is more harmful is the scorn, social isolation and constant questioning of integrity poured upon those of us who choose to sell sex, by a society fille

I have a theory and it is simply this - I don't believe that sex work itself is inherently harmful, what is more harmful is the scorn, social isolation and constant questioning of integrity poured upon those of us who choose to sell sex, by a society filled with hypocrisies.:

redupnyc:

I have a number of problems with this article, which I’m going to go through point by point because they are things I hear very often in the sex worker movement that need to be addressed.

1. “Similarly, stigma bears no relation to your background, ethnicity or chosen faith." Excuse me? Since when were you, a white privileged cis woman from the UK, ever an expert on how either background or ethnicity intersects with stigma around sex work? A great example of how utterly incorrect this is comes from the experiences of trans xicana undocumented folks in the sex trades who are stigmatized in the eyes of the government, particularly the state department and the department of homeland security, in a way that you will never have to deal with nor will ever understand. Or how about how Black women in the sex trades are stigmatized not only as sex workers but as living examples of the ‘Jezebel’ stereotype that continues to linger in the US, albeit less blatantly than in the Jim Crow era.

2. “If you’re wondering what I mean by a ‘society filled with hypocrisies’ let’s consider the ‘Cougar’. Here is a woman who will proactively seek younger men to partner on an almost predatory basis and certainly because she can give him a better lifestyle in exchange for great sex." This example, as well as the one about drunk hookups versus full service work, is fallacious for conflating ‘not as stigmatized’ with ‘not stigmatized.’ ‘Cougars’ are most definitely stigmatized in our society, even when the power dynamics are much more egalitarian. Remember how much shit Demi Moore got for being with Ashton Kutcher? And it was her that got shit, just like in those drunk hook up situations the “oh it happens to everyone" attitude is how it is for the men, not for the women. Women are expected to guard their sexuality: literally the source of both stigmas (though again they differ in magnitude) is the same social oppositional sexism.

3. “Although I am blessed to be surrounded by an amazing support system of friends and allies, I still experience stigma, albeit to a lesser degree. It’s the beatific smile filled with pity, it’s the group of women who fall silent as soon as I enter the room and it’s the man who shook my hand in a green room and when he thought I wasn’t looking, wiped his hand ‘clean’. And that, my friends - is what needs to change." Beginning a statement with “Oh I totally have privilege y’all!" does not excuse any oppressive privileged speech that proceeds it. Certainly social stigma is one huge problem faced by sex workers. But your casual awkward moments are not in anyway comparable to the person kicked out of their home by their landlord or family, to the trans woman already facing so many hurdles to employment being outed or asked to explain how she made a living for several months or years, to those within conservative religious communities who face a complete cutting off from their entire support system and from their place of worship, along with being imbued with guilt and shame. That is why we need to fight against the stigma that sex work carries. It is similar to the white women corporate execs complaining about how much less they are paid than men: certainly it arises from the same misogyny as the wage gap in entry level service work (or sex work) but the privilege of the white woman exec protects her from the worst possible consequences of the discrimination.

So I want to pull away from these three examples general trends I have noticed. For the first statement, it is that the incredibly individualized nature of sex workers and sex worker rights in the Global North has us thinking that our individual perspective is the sex worker perspective, or even worse gives us the ability to speak for sex workers outside our experience. For the second statement, that we need to stop seeing enemies in fellow victims of patriarchy who aren’t sex workers. For the third statement, that effective accountability for and acknowledgment of privilege extends beyond a simple disclaimer, and that the sex worker movement is in desperate need of some class analysis and recognition of intersectionality.

-Emma C.

I am proud to work with Emma at RedUP.

You should read this.

I have a theory and it is simply this - I don't believe that sex work itself is inherently harmful, what is more harmful is the scorn, social isolation and constant questioning of integrity poured upon those of us who choose to sell sex, by a society fille

I have a theory and it is simply this - I don't believe that sex work itself is inherently harmful, what is more harmful is the scorn, social isolation and constant questioning of integrity poured upon those of us who choose to sell sex, by a society filled with hypocrisies.:

redupnyc:

I have a number of problems with this article, which I’m going to go through point by point because they are things I hear very often in the sex worker movement that need to be addressed.

1. “Similarly, stigma bears no relation to your background, ethnicity or chosen faith." Excuse me? Since when were you, a white privileged cis woman from the UK, ever an expert on how either background or ethnicity intersects with stigma around sex work? A great example of how utterly incorrect this is comes from the experiences of trans xicana undocumented folks in the sex trades who are stigmatized in the eyes of the government, particularly the state department and the department of homeland security, in a way that you will never have to deal with nor will ever understand. Or how about how Black women in the sex trades are stigmatized not only as sex workers but as living examples of the ‘Jezebel’ stereotype that continues to linger in the US, albeit less blatantly than in the Jim Crow era.

2. “If you’re wondering what I mean by a ‘society filled with hypocrisies’ let’s consider the ‘Cougar’. Here is a woman who will proactively seek younger men to partner on an almost predatory basis and certainly because she can give him a better lifestyle in exchange for great sex." This example, as well as the one about drunk hookups versus full service work, is fallacious for conflating ‘not as stigmatized’ with ‘not stigmatized.’ ‘Cougars’ are most definitely stigmatized in our society, even when the power dynamics are much more egalitarian. Remember how much shit Demi Moore got for being with Ashton Kutcher? And it was her that got shit, just like in those drunk hook up situations the “oh it happens to everyone" attitude is how it is for the men, not for the women. Women are expected to guard their sexuality: literally the source of both stigmas (though again they differ in magnitude) is the same social oppositional sexism.

3. “Although I am blessed to be surrounded by an amazing support system of friends and allies, I still experience stigma, albeit to a lesser degree. It’s the beatific smile filled with pity, it’s the group of women who fall silent as soon as I enter the room and it’s the man who shook my hand in a green room and when he thought I wasn’t looking, wiped his hand ‘clean’. And that, my friends - is what needs to change." Beginning a statement with “Oh I totally have privilege y’all!" does not excuse any oppressive privileged speech that proceeds it. Certainly social stigma is one huge problem faced by sex workers. But your casual awkward moments are not in anyway comparable to the person kicked out of their home by their landlord or family, to the trans woman already facing so many hurdles to employment being outed or asked to explain how she made a living for several months or years, to those within conservative religious communities who face a complete cutting off from their entire support system and from their place of worship, along with being imbued with guilt and shame. That is why we need to fight against the stigma that sex work carries. It is similar to the white women corporate execs complaining about how much less they are paid than men: certainly it arises from the same misogyny as the wage gap in entry level service work (or sex work) but the privilege of the white woman exec protects her from the worst possible consequences of the discrimination.

So I want to pull away from these three examples general trends I have noticed. For the first statement, it is that the incredibly individualized nature of sex workers and sex worker rights in the Global North has us thinking that our individual perspective is the sex worker perspective, or even worse gives us the ability to speak for sex workers outside our experience. For the second statement, that we need to stop seeing enemies in fellow victims of patriarchy who aren’t sex workers. For the third statement, that effective accountability for and acknowledgment of privilege extends beyond a simple disclaimer, and that the sex worker movement is in desperate need of some class analysis and recognition of intersectionality.

-Emma C.

I am proud to work with Emma at RedUP.

You should read this.