Rebecca Nolan's Blog - Posts Tagged "causes"
Coping with Deployment HandBook
As most know my husband is in the military. We have experienced a couple of deployments and during that time i have never come across anything which describes the intense emotional roller coaster that it can be. Everything I went through made me feel half crazed and very alone. Sure I knew other people had been there and gone through it but it wasn't as though I was going to call them up and be like, 'hey I want to walk out the door cus I am so over this and want to tear my hubby's head off.'
Even though I felt like that at that moment it wasn't what I really wanted. I just needed to vent. I needed to let my frustration out and know that what I was feeling was normal.
Any serious amount of time away effects you and your relationship. It is hard and no matter how you try to explain it to those not in the military it is likely that they just wont understand. How can you tell someone that really you partner is married to military and you get to play mistress every now and then. Military first, you second.
So work has begun on the Coping with deployment handbook. Two sections have been nearly completed. There are tips to help kids cope and parents of those deployed to cope. Also, in a first, I am going to try to include tips for siblings. Stay tuned for more details :)
Here is a few pieces from the book.
The packing of the bags.
Denial is my fave emotion at times but when you are sitting or standing and watching your partner pack those bags everything becomes real way too fast. This is a rollercoaster of emotions that you will be riding on. This is the time you might feel yourself becoming closed off or teary or one of the many other sad, angry, frustrated emotions that comes when realty hits you all too quickly.
The what ifs…
No one wants to have this talk and yet if something happens you will be glad you did. I am talking about the What If talks. What If one of the kids gets has to go to hospital? What if a loved one dies? What If something happens and I can’t contact you for a week or week? What If the house burns down? What If something happens to you and you don’t come back?
All these things are hard to talk about. The first time my partner went we didn’t have this talk at all. Again the denial fairy visits me on this one but now that I’m older and know better it is hard to ignore these discussions. Have this talk! Write down a list of possible What Ifs and check them off as you talk about it.
Be Prepared
Now is the time to make sure you have insurances, to check wills, to find contact numbers etc. Make sure you have the number of your partner’s mechanic, or any other thing your partner normally takes care of. If your partner is use to doing certain things well you’re going to have to burst their bubble and begin to take over things.
Xo
Rebecca
Even though I felt like that at that moment it wasn't what I really wanted. I just needed to vent. I needed to let my frustration out and know that what I was feeling was normal.
Any serious amount of time away effects you and your relationship. It is hard and no matter how you try to explain it to those not in the military it is likely that they just wont understand. How can you tell someone that really you partner is married to military and you get to play mistress every now and then. Military first, you second.
So work has begun on the Coping with deployment handbook. Two sections have been nearly completed. There are tips to help kids cope and parents of those deployed to cope. Also, in a first, I am going to try to include tips for siblings. Stay tuned for more details :)
Here is a few pieces from the book.
The packing of the bags.
Denial is my fave emotion at times but when you are sitting or standing and watching your partner pack those bags everything becomes real way too fast. This is a rollercoaster of emotions that you will be riding on. This is the time you might feel yourself becoming closed off or teary or one of the many other sad, angry, frustrated emotions that comes when realty hits you all too quickly.
The what ifs…
No one wants to have this talk and yet if something happens you will be glad you did. I am talking about the What If talks. What If one of the kids gets has to go to hospital? What if a loved one dies? What If something happens and I can’t contact you for a week or week? What If the house burns down? What If something happens to you and you don’t come back?
All these things are hard to talk about. The first time my partner went we didn’t have this talk at all. Again the denial fairy visits me on this one but now that I’m older and know better it is hard to ignore these discussions. Have this talk! Write down a list of possible What Ifs and check them off as you talk about it.
Be Prepared
Now is the time to make sure you have insurances, to check wills, to find contact numbers etc. Make sure you have the number of your partner’s mechanic, or any other thing your partner normally takes care of. If your partner is use to doing certain things well you’re going to have to burst their bubble and begin to take over things.
Xo
Rebecca
