Joshua P. Simon's Blog, page 12

The Last Dragon

The Last Dragon is one of those movies that is so awful, it’s good. It’s also the rare movie where you can’t help but hate the protagonist and route for the villain. Sho’nuff has everything Bruce Leroy does not, charisma, presence, catchy one liners, and a much cooler name.

Sho’nuff Tribute

Music Monday - Judas Priest - Sin After Sin

A very underrated Judas Priest Album. The first three songs below are actually some of the heaviest stuff they’ve done. And yes, I’ve excluded Diamonds and Rust…only because I’ve featured it before on my blog.

Dissident Aggressor


Starbreaker


Sinner


Here Comes the Tears

Hercules

When I was a kid, I unfortunately didn’t ready much fantasy. This is because I really didn’t know the genre existed as no one I knew read it. Therefore, most of my fantasy consumption resulted from films (i.e. the Conan movies, etc) which later drove me to find Robert E. Howard as an adult and finally be exposed to something I had always been looking for.

With that being said, I did read the fantastical as a kid. However, this mostly revolved around mythologies such as King Arthur and Merlin (loved these stories) and the ancient myths of the Greek, Roman, and Norse pantheons. When you think about it, isn’t the story of Jason and the Argonauts really just a Sword and Sorcery tale?

Anyway, the stories I loved the most involved Hercules. I read anything and everything I could find about him. I also watched every movie about the character from as far back as the Steve Reeves and Reg Park films (pretty good for their time) to the Lou Ferrigno atrocities and the Arnold Schwarzenegger B movie that is worth watching if only for a good laugh.

The problem I had with most of these movies was that they never really focused on the stories already there. Well, finally it seems that Hollywood is going to get it right. The new Hercules trailer (starring The Rock) came out the other day and I’m as giddy as the 6th grader who read the same novelization of the twelve labors four times in one school year.

Finally, we get the twelve labors (or at least part of them in a flashback), and finally we’re going to see the troubled character I remember and felt connected to as a kid.

I haven’t been this excited about a movie in a long time. Hopefully, it doesn’t fall flat.

Music Monday - April Wine - I Like To Rock (or A Lazy Rock Anthem)

When a Hard Rock band puts the word “rock” in the title of their song, it automatically gets classified in the rock anthem category in my mind. Most of the time it works (You Can’t Stop Rock and Roll, Let there be Rock, etc.).

However, occasionally this falls flat.

April Wine wrote a song that has some pretty good music. However, they gave it one of the worst names I’ve ever heard. I Like to Rock.

That’s it. Replace the word “like” and it would be alright, but the word “like” lacks the passion it seemed they were going for. The lack of passion is even more prominent when the chorus isn’t belted out so much as it is sung in a slightly higher volume than someone’s speaking voice. Just listen for yourself.

April Wine - I Like to Rock

To make matters worse, the actual lyrics for the song are awful. It reads like someone making things up on the fly. No coherency, no flow, no story. Just blah. See below.

Well alright, somethin's got you goin' tonight Doin' all she can, it's alright Come on can't you see That when we all let go We get high on rock 'n' roll
Journey to the stars, rock 'n' roll guitars, yeah I like to rock, some like it hot, baby I like it, you like it I like to rock, I like to rock
I can sing, that's the kind of life for me Want it loose and fancy free Come on then let's go And it'll be alright We can rock 'n' roll all night
Journey to the stars, rock 'n' roll guitars, yeah I like to rock, some like it hot, baby I like it, you like it I like to rock, I like to rock
Ooh, I like to rock Some like it hot, baby I like it, you like it I like to rock, I like to rock
See? Awful.

So, here’s my stab at writing the lyrics to a song with the title “I Like to Rock.” It is far more amusing if you imagine it sung by Michael Caine as I keep doing. Ha.

Verse 1 My word Is that a guitar? Well grab it And throw it in the car And is that a set of drums? Gather them up You can beat them while I strum
Chorus I like to Rock, I like to Rock Wherever we are All the ladies flock I like to Rock, I like to Rock By jove, I like to rock
Verse 2 We’ll go down to The local bar Play on stage And get money for our jar We’ll play all day We’ll play all night We’ll get the crowd amped Everyone will feel alright
Repeat Chorus
Guitar solo
Verse 3 I do enjoy A good bass line And that power chord Makes me feel just fine Just don’t bring Your silly keytar Otherwise We’ll never be a star
Repeat Chorus 2x
By the way, that took me like 10 minutes. Admit it, that was far more entertaining than the original lyrics.

Music Monday - Crosby Stills Nash

Though I don’t own anything by Crosby Stills Nash, I’ve always liked the band (even more with Neil Young). Anyway, a good friend of mine invited me to one of their concerts this weekend which I’m pretty excited about it.

And yes, despite the crowd I will be sporting a metal shirt (even if I’m the only one doing so). \m/

Here are a few of my favorites:

Southern Cross


Suite Judy Blue Eyes


And my top choice . . .
Carry On/Questions

10,000

Today I sold my 10,000th book. That’s a milestone I honestly never thought I’d reach when I began publishing my work a couple years ago.

What makes this even more special is that after a fairly slow start, most of that number has occurred in the last 6-7 months. Even more strikingly, is that about 85% of my sales have been in the UK which I also wouldn’t have expected.

With four to five books in the pipeline for this year, I’m hoping to continue building my brand and maybe if I’m lucky some of that success in the UK will spill over into other countries. Maybe, even my own! Ha.

I think this reiterates a point made by many authors: publishing is a marathon, not a sprint.

Thanks to everyone who has supported me thus far! It’s been awesome.

Music Monday - Iced Earth - Plagues of Babylon

Today’s Music Monday is the new Iced Earth album.

Overall, it’s a pretty good release (their best since Framing Armageddon part 1, in my opinion) and a step up over Dystopia for me. I wasn’t a huge fan of that particular album. The songwriting is much stronger here and I think Stu is really finding his own voice within the band.

If I Could See You


The Culling


Cthulu


Peacemaker (Live)

The Cult of Sutek Cover Reveal!

The Cult of Sutek, The Epic of Andrasta and Rondel, Vol. 1 (target release date of May 2014) officially has a cover!


His life has no purpose. She’s out to prove hers. An unlikely alliance forms. Their legend is born.
Rondel, a once famous minstrel is crippled and rotting away in prison. He has nothing to live for until Andrasta, a mysterious warrior, gives his live meaning again. The pair escapes prison and in the aftermath, form a partnership they hope will lead to fame and fortune. Their journey is a long one, filled with peril, adventure, and even failure.
The ancient cult of Sutek grips the land of Iget. Framed by the cult for kidnapping and attempted murder, Rondel and Andrasta help a young noble rescue his sister in order to clear their name.
The Cult of Sutek is the first volume in a planned series of standalone adventures in The Epic of Andrasta and Rondel.
* * *
I decided to go with a different look for these books than what I used for the Blood and Tears series. I hired a very talented illustrator named Alex Wakefield to paint the scenes for each cover in this series. (Notice the brush strokes!)

Once we got the finalized version from him, my wife Leah took care of the graphics and layout. The image above is the Amazon cover. The covers for other retailers will be cropped differently based on their dimensional requirements.

I’m very happy with the final product. Preliminary work on the cover for The City of Pillars, The Epic of Andrasta and Rondel, Vol. 2 has already begun.

For those interested, below is the full piece of artwork before we began cropping for the Amazon cover.



I can’t wait to get these books released. Thoughts on the cover?

Music Monday - Led Zeppelin - III

Led Zeppelin rightfully gets a lot of credit for their catalog. However, their third album is almost always grossly underrated. It has some of my favorite Zeppelin tunes.

Tangerine


Out on the Tiles


Gallows Pole

My Mother-in-Law

This past Saturday my mother-in-law lost her nearly two-year battle with cancer, dying at the age of 60.

I’ve waited to post this on my blog until now for several reasons, one of which was I was hoping to write a great post memorializing her in my own way. However, as much as I enjoy writing fiction, it seems that creating meaningful words when discussing matters of life is not my forte.

Therefore, I’ll just say that she was about as good of a mother-in-law as anyone could have asked for—kind, unselfish, loving, an awesome cook, and a willing victim of my many jokes. I feel very blessed to have known her these last eight years, and it pains me to know that my kids will have to continue growing up without her in their lives.

Any time I see an “autocorrect” text mistake, watch someone use far too many dishes to make a simple meal, hear the Beatles, or see a rooster figurine, I’ll think of her.

We all love you, Terri.