Merry Farmer's Blog, page 4

Status Update – Sick Day/Snow Day

I’m armed and fighting this thing!

Yep. Pretty much without fail, every time I hang out with small children these days, I catch something. And right now I have a mild-to-moderate head cold. I blame the bouncy castle playground! And with good cause, because I hear HN is sick too.

So being the nerd I am about things, and considering that I turn to research for comfort, I went online last night to look up the phases of the common cold. Because, of course, I wanted to judge where I was in the process and how much longer I was going to be annoyed by this. I mean, I’ve got stuff to do this weekend that requires me to leave my house and be around people!

So, in case you were wondering, symptoms of the common cold show up 1-3 days after exposure. Check. I started feeling like I had a sore throat Monday afternoon. Then Phase One, which is day 1-2, is the sore throat, fever, sneezing phase. Yep, that sounds about right. By last night, when I was looking all this up, my throat was no longer sore. Phase Two is then from day 3-4, and that, apparently is when you feel the worst. That’s when congestion and coughing kicks in. Hmm. Yes, I appear to be there now. And I hate coughing. But I kind of hate having a sore throat even more, so I don’t know about that “feeling the worst” thing. Fortunately, Phase Three, after day 4, is more or less a tapering off of symptoms until you’re back to normal.

Whew! So from Phase Two, I think I might just lie around today, hopefully getting my chapter for the day written. And helping me in my lying around efforts is the fact that it’s snowing outside! Of course, it was supposed to start snowing a lot sooner than it has, so I don’t think we’re going to get as much as they forecast, but still. Snow is a wonderful excuse.

But check out this screen shot from my phone’s weather app yesterday! Dude, that’s just wrong. Maybe that’s why there are so many germs abounding this winter.

Status Update – Victoria: Episode 4

Victoria’s actual wedding dress, photographed when I was at Kensington Palace last summer. Dude, the woman was SHORT!

Well what d’ya know? Sunday night’s episode of Victoria did really well in terms of historical accuracy! I mean, aside from this continuing silliness about a romantic attachment between Victoria and Melbourne, and the fact that none of the servants’ stories are real.

Oh, one more note about the Victoria & Melbourne thing. I kept waiting for her to ask Melbourne if he had a mistress, since she seemed so obsessed with men and their mistresses in the middle of the episode. I would have loved to see Rufus Sewel’s Melbourne try to worm his way out of that one. Because yes. Yes, Melbourne did have a mistress, at that point in history and many before her.

But really, the episode was about Albert, and once again, they did a really good job of portraying him. (Other than my continued complaints about that actor’s vanishing German accent) Historically speaking, the allowance and the title was a super huge deal that had Albert’s knickers in a knot. He was exactly right to think that he was in serious danger of being the German stud, with no point and no power. He didn’t even have the usual power and authority that 19th century men had over their wives. In essence, Albert was the 19th century woman in that relationship (at first) and he knew it.

Albert’s actual wedding outfit

The allowance was also a big deal because it represented independence, like he said in the show. And Parliament really did screw him over on that one. But one thing the show didn’t portray very well (so far) was that the allowance thing, and a lot of other stuff Albert endured, was pure anti-German bigotry. The British people really didn’t like the fact that the queen married a German (not that she had much choice). For decades, up until he died, horrible things were written about him in the papers, and much later, in the 1850s, he was falsely implicated in a plot to…oh, take over the government or assassinate someone or something. I can’t remember what at the moment.

Anyhow, the bit where Ernst took Albert to a brothel? I’m calling shenanigans on that one. Ernst was probably historically right at home in a place like that, but from everything I’ve read about Albert, I can’t see him even beginning to consent to getting into a situation like that. BUT, if he had, he totally would have asked for a lecture and taken notes instead of engaging in the practice, like he did in the show.

One other minor detail that I’m eager to see unfold is the introduction of the character of George Anson. They’ve started out getting him right. Anson really was Melbourne’s man, and Albert totally resented him at first. (And he was ticked off at not being able to choose any of his own staff) HOWEVER, Albert and Anson became incredibly good friends. Like, Anson became one of the best friends that Albert ever had. I’m interested to see where they go with that.

And finally, Albert actually did like Melbourne. And Albert was also responsible for the reconciliation between Victoria and her mother, but I don’t think we’ve gotten there yet.

Status Update – Zen Knitting

My stash…or at least part of it

For some reason yesterday, I started feeling really anxious as late afternoon approached. I used to suffer from some pretty serious anxiety disorders when I was a kid, but I haven’t had problems with it for years. Well, until the last several months. Gee, guess what prompted all those anxieties to return? I’m pretty sure that the entire country is having far more issues with anxiety these days, if only because of the general mood of things. I’m a huge believer in the collective unconscious and people picking up on emotions in the air.

So anyhow, with all this anxiety, I turned to something that has not only gotten me by, but been a joy and a comfort for me for ages. Knitting!

There’s something so soothing about having a practical craft to do. I happen to be a big fan of knitting socks (although I’ve been trying to branch out again lately). Socks are simple, I have the pattern in my head now, so I don’t need to consult a pattern or book, they’re practical, and everyone always loves to get hand-knit socks as a gift. In fact, I’m working on these ones right now for my niece.

The thing about knitting, or any other craft that you can do, that I think is so special is that it’s outward-facing. Sure, I knit socks for myself, but you can only have so many before you need to give them away. Same with scarves or blankets or just about anything. And it’s not even so much a gift you expect something for in return. I’ve tried to explain to people who are surprised by the sudden gift of socks that it’s an added gift to me to be able to engage in the craft I enjoy for a purpose, then to give the results to someone who will appreciate them.

It’s not actually as complicated as it looks.

I know the same sort of thing goes for my friend Karen, who is a quilter. We go to craft shows together, and we laugh about how we already have so much fabric/yarn at home that we really don’t need more, but here, take my money!

I also think it says something about the world we live in that when I sat down and thought about it, I could think of at least 8 stores—Michael’s, A.C. Moore, Joann Fabrics, not to mention smaller, private stores—that cater to crafters within a 20 minute drive of my house. That number goes up to over a dozen if you drive in any direction for 40 minutes. That’s more than grocery stores or sporting good stores or just about anything else (um, except Starbucks). I like what that says about the world!

So are you a crafter? What is your craft?

Book Excerpt – Chaos Theory

It’s the beginning of a new week, so I figured why not give you a taste of what I’ve been working on? So here’s a snippet (unedited, forgive me for typos) from Book 2 of the Nerds of Paradise Series, Chaos Theory. I’m aiming for February 24th for a release date, but I’m honestly not sure if it will be done and edited enough by then. It might be a little bit after that, but we’ll see! That’s the trouble with my vow to write longer books this year. I can’t publish them as frequently. Anyhow, here you go!

The General Store was another part of the reason he loved his new hometown. It was the perfect size for dropping in to pick up a few essentials in a hurry. On top of that, whoever had built it had a keen eye for ergonomics. He could make one efficient pass from the toiletries section where he picked up shaving gel—which he would need in exactly two days—to the stationary section for pens—because he was not one of those people who took pens from the office to use at home like they were perks of the job—to the snack food section for a large bag of unsalted nuts—because you had to live a little sometimes.

Yep. Everything was just where it needed to be. Everything was in precise order. Everything was—

“Whoops!”

He rounded the corner and nearly crashed right into a splash of color and brightness and wild blond curls. His heart thumped against his ribs, like someone was punching him from the inside, and his groin tightened.

“Sorry.” Melody Clutterbuck laughed as she made her apology. Her blue eyes sparkled with happiness and light. She wore a long wrap-around skirt with an Indian pattern to it and a white peasant blouse decorated with embroidery that matched the colors in her skirt. Her arms were filled with items from around the store, otherwise Will would have had a big glimpse of the creamy skin of her shoulders and chest.

It took his brain far too long to catch up enough to say, “No, I’m sorry. I should have looked where I was going.”

“You always look where you’re going.” She continued to smile as they headed to the counter at the front of the store. “I’m the one who was floating around like a leaf on the wind.”

Prickles of pleasure filled Will at the image. Melody was a leaf on the wind. He’d seen that the first time he met her, at the winter mixer Howie had held for his employees and citizens of Haskell after Christmas. She’d been there with a group of her friends, looking just as amazing as she did now. His friends talked about that event as the day his supervisor, Scott Martin, had met the girl he was now engaged to, Casey Flint, but secretly, Will marked it as the night Melody had blown into his world.

He blinked himself out of thoughts that were, frankly, disturbing. He had a schedule to stick to, a routine. “Why don’t you have a basket?” He lifted his own blue plastic shopping basket.

Melody giggled, her face going pink. “I didn’t realize I was going to need one.”

They reached the register, and she spilled her purchases across the counter. Will did a double-take, brow sinking into a frown of confusion. Baby oil, sandpaper, latex gloves, and an enema.

“Oh! And I’ll take one of these too,” Melody added, face growing even pinker and giggle more pronounced as she plucked a small jar of cherry lip balm from a display and popped it on the counter.

Will’s blood rushed to all the wrong places. Cherry lip balm? Baby oil? An enema? Why, why, why did that selection of items turn him on? And sandpaper? He swallowed hard, trying to rein in his imagination, and ran a hand over the bottom half of his face.

The older man behind the counter grinned indulgently at Melody. “You and Calliope still playing that game?”

“Always,” Melody replied with a wink.

Will frowned, an expression which, in this case, represented relief that he had something else to think about than all the ways Melody might want to use the items in front of her.

Melody must have noticed his expression. She leaned closer, her smile downright wicked. “My sister and I have this game. Who can spend ten bucks and buy a collection of perfectly innocent items that have the most wildly suggestive use if put together.”

Will could feel heat flood his face. “Looks like you’ve done a good job,” he said, or rather croaked. If she had half a brain, she’d be able to see that his mind had jumped straight to where she wanted it to be for her game.

“I’m still trying to beat Calliope’s winning collection,” she explained.

“Which was?” he asked, even though he wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

“Rubber bands, caramel sauce, cucumbers, and a disposable camera.”

Will’s jaw fell open. His mind raced to conjure up all sorts of images involving those items and Melody. None of them were PG. But then, he supposed that was the point of the game.

“Yeah, I know.” Melody raised an eyebrow as if she could tell exactly what he was thinking. “The camera was the real stroke of genius in that one. I’m hoping I can win points for the sandpaper in this collection. It’s so out there that it makes you wonder.”

“I…uh…wha….” There was absolutely nothing Will could say about that. And at the same time, every fiber of his being wanted to say something, to do something. Eight years of college and graduate school, four years of military service, two years of working for some of the top aerospace industries in the country, and she’d rendered him completely useless.

“Sorry, Melody. That comes to eleven dollars and twenty-eight cents,” the cashier informed her with a shake of his head. “You’ll have to put something back.”

Melody sighed and turned her attention to the counter. She picked up the enema, but put it down in favor of the latex gloves. “I suppose the gloves are more or less implied,” she said with a sigh.

The cashier chuckled, rerang her total, and put the remaining items in the bag.

Status Update – Bouncy!

How cool is this???

Oh my gosh, I did the most awesome thing ever yesterday! I accompanied my 5-year-old honorary niece to a classmate’s birthday party at a place called Bounce U. It’s basically an entire warehouse full of various bouncy castles!

HN (Honorary Niece) had such an amazing time. Granted, she bounces like a rubber ball all the time anyhow. She started jumping, just randomly, from the moment we got into the place. Then she continued to run and jump and zip down the slides and bop around like a crazy person. This, by the way, according to her mom, after waking up at 5am and going to ballet class in the morning, then the birthday party at noon. I swear, 5-year-olds have enough energy to light up a city!

Anyhow, this bouncy house place was pretty darn cool, and I wish they’d had them when I was a kid. Someone somewhere came up with a billion-dollar idea with all these gigantic air slides and bouncy houses. I was worried that they would feel unsafe or like the kids might get hurt, but they were all pretty ingeniously constructed for the least possibility of injury. The kids were more likely to hurt each other by stepping on each other than to have problems with the equipment. Fortunately, they did an okay job of watching the safety video before they got into the rooms, and there were attendants watching the party.

They also served pizza to the kids afterwards and had a cake. Seriously, this is a brilliant idea. And the kids had a blast. I’m proud to say that HN is one of the most popular kids in her class…with the boys. Ha! Her dad is going to have his hands full in about 10 years. It was fun to sit with one of the moms of one of HN’s particularly close boy-friends and to hear about how much he talks about her. For a second there, I almost felt like a parent with an actual kid!

My brave, brave girl!

But hey, I love my honorary niece and nephew (her little brother, who just turned 2, and boy was he acting like it yesterday!) like they’re my own. And I’m more grateful than I will ever be able to express that their mom, my best friend, considers me family. Yay for the family you find!

Status Update – Experimental Cooking

I don’t know how you do things, but I’ve discovered that in the winter, I have about 4 suppers that I cook in rotation: turkey burgers, poached salmon, baked chicken with pesto, and … Okay, so I have 3 suppers that I cook in rotation. Well, the meats. My side rotations are pretty much limited too. And they’re all good meals, mind you, but I’ve been feeling like I need to cook more.

So last night I tried my hand at bacon-wrapped scallops! I went online and found a recipe that looked relatively easy. I mean, “Wrap the bacon around the scallop, skewer it, and broil it for 5 minutes on each side” is about as easy as you can get. Except that it turned out at the last minute that I didn’t have toothpicks to do the skewering. So what did I use? Double-pointed sock knitting needles, of course!

Can you see the tiny, blue knitting needles in there?

They actually worked very well, all things considered. I’ve never tried to cook scallops before, but I’ve had them at restaurants and liked them okay. My theory was that maybe I could add this new protein into my supper rotation. So here’s what the whole dinner looked like:

Voila!

And it wasn’t bad, all things considered. I’m terrible at seasoning food, though, so it was a little bland. Actually, I’m clueless when it comes to seasoning food. I put melted butter and crushed garlic on the scallops as per the recipe, but there was so much butter that it made everything else on the plate soggy. But hey, melted butter soggy is better than normal on most days! But back to the seasoning thing, I can never really get my food—other than the stuff I already know—seasoned enough to suit my palate. I think I just need to experiment more.

I should add that the other day I tried one of those stir-fry kits and threw in a little of my stash of chicken. That was really good. I didn’t take a pic of it, but it was quick, easy, tasty, and adequately seasoned. Probably because the seasoning pack came with the veggies. I definitely think I’ll try that again, although I may get a much better kit from Whole Foods instead of the one I got at Target.

So help me out here. What are your favorite meals to cook, and what seasoning do you use to get it to your taste?

Status Update – The Philadelphia Orchestra

My view last night

I was raised on classical music. As far back as I can remember, it was in the air around me. We had a nifty album when I was a very little kid called “Hooked On Classics,” which took the major, recognizable themes from the great composers and set them to a disco beat (it was the very early 80s, after all). I used to dance around to that album for hours!

I also think that the first concert I ever went to was an orchestral concert. I know that when my mom was still alive, we used to go to the Philadelphia Orchestra concerts in the summer at the Mann Music Center, bring a picnic, and sit out on the grass. It was great!

So of course my big treat to myself these days is going into the city to see the Philadelphia Orchestra, which I did last night. The concert was lovely! The famous pianist Andre Watts was supposed to be the featured soloist, but Mr. Watts couldn’t make it, due to insufficient recovery from surgery. So, with three days’ notice, three days, brilliant young pianist Lise de la Salle stepped in. And wow! She’s only 27 years old, but she was magnificent. And at that level, the soloist memorizes the entire piece and plays without music. Mlle. de la Salle (she’s French) played Beethoven’s 4th Piano Concerto, and wow! She also had a really awesome red dress on, but seeing as you’re not allowed to take pics during the concert, you’ll just have to take my word for it.

Photo of Philadelphia by Dave Z, courtesy of Flickr

I love these concerts, but I also have to admit that I get really sleepy sitting there listening to them. And my thoughts drift a lot. I revisited a lot of old memories while listening to the orchestra, some good, some bad. I puzzled over the mysteries of consciousness and how impossible it seems to me that consciousness could just disappear with the death of the body. Yes, these are some of the things I think about. I know.

Anyhow, whenever I go to an orchestra concert—and I have season tickets—I stay at a hotel in the city. The Marriott is my hotel of choice. I’m a big fan of room service, although I forgot to put the tray out in the hall to be picked up before I went to bed, and seeing as I had the striped bass, my room smelled fishy all night long. But I slept fairly well for a hotel room, so it was a win after all.

And now I’m home, and it’s back to work! It’s really nice to take a miniature vacation now and then, though. I feel a lot more refreshed than you’d imagine for such a short trip.

Status Update – Cookie Monster

Oh my gosh, THESE exist!

Yes, those are Cadbury Crème Egg cookies! I found them at CVS yesterday when I was picking up some aspirin and heating pads for my neck and shoulders (which is a whole other story). They’re perfect too! There are eight, fairly small cookies in the package. Cadbury Crème Eggs can be murderously sweet, but there’s just enough in each cookie to give you the taste of a crème egg without overpowering you.

This is a dangerous discovery. Anyone who knows me knows that I absolutely LOVE cookies. They’re the perfect sweet treat. You can regulate how many you need and either eat a gigantic cookie extravaganza or just have one. Believe it or not, I’m a just one kind of girl. And I’ll also admit that I prefer to bake my own. Here’s a lovely batch of peanut butter chocolate chip cookies I made the other day using my top-secret recipe.

One of my earliest childhood memories involves cookies. Well, I was about four, so it might be a memory and it might be one of those things where you’ve heard the story enough times that you form a memory. Apparently my love for cookies is genetic. My memory is when I was tiny and my mom was annoyed (as much as my mom got annoyed, which wasn’t much) because someone had eaten an entire box of Oreos. My dad insisted it was the cookie monster. Being four, I absolutely believed that there was a cookie monster who came into our house and ate those Oreos. Of course, the real culprit was obvious. And yes, I have seen my dad eat an entire sleeve of Oreos in one sitting.

But of course at this time of year, when we think of cookies, we think of one type in particular:

Yep, the Girl Scouts got me the other day at the post office. I broke right into the box of Peanut Butter Patties, of course. They are far and away my favorites. They actually remind me of a kind of snack cake from here in Philadelphia—Tastykake brand peanut butter patties. P.S. If you don’t live in a place where they sell Tastykakes, I’m sorry. Anyhow, the Girl Scout cookie that I’m really interested in trying is the S’mores. They’re the limited-edition cookie for this year, and I’ve heard great things about them!

So are you a cookie monster? What’s your favorite cookie?

Status Update – We Need A Cat Psychologist

Torpedo and Butterfly…a really bonded sibling pair.

Okay, I think I need a cat psychologist for my grumpy old man, Torpedo.

A little background for those who don’t know: Torpedo and his siblings were born to me when I lived in Alabama. I rescued their mom, Larien, from a coworker who was disappointed that she wasn’t cute anymore and was going to have her put to sleep. Nooo!!! So I rescued Larien and brought her home…where she promptly got knocked up. My fault, I know. I let her be an indoor/outdoor cat and procrastinated having her fixed. So kittens.

I had Torpedo and his sister, Butterfly, for twelve years, since the Athens Olympics (which is where they got their names. Torpedo was named after Ian Thorpe, the Thorpedo, and Butterfly was named after Michael Phelps, who won the 400m butterfly the day she was born). Those cats have moved with me everywhere, and I hadn’t realized how very attached to them I was…

…until Butterfly developed diabetes (in 2015) and died December 1st. It hit me way harder than I thought it would, mostly because I nursed her through about 10 days of declining health, until I had to make the decision to have her put down. That was a super sad day! But Torpedo was a huge comfort, even though he was in mourning too.

No, Torpedo, you can not sleep on the bed with me tonight…

And as I learned, cats actually do mourn. Torpedo demonstrated all of the behavior of a cat mourning the loss of a bonded partner. So, being the foolish human that I am, I figured the perfect way to help both of us move on was to get a darling new kitten. So halfway through December, Justine joined our family.

Justine comes from a feral background, so it took her a while to adjust and feel fully comfortable in her new home. But for the last few weeks, she’s been 100% happy, bouncy, feisty, and affectionate. She’s adorable! But man, she has so much energy.

However, as it turns out, Torpedo has been very grumpy toward Justine. He swats at her and chases her around. I figure it’s because she’s young and has way too much energy and annoys him, and because she’s not Butterfly. I think Torpedo still wanders around the house looking for his sister from time to time. He still misses her. And sometimes he gets really mean toward the kitten. Like, after I shut them out of my bedroom last night, at one point I heard a horrific yeowl. And this morning I found blood on the tile floor. But Justine won’t let me get close enough to see if I can find any wounds. Hmm.

How could you be mean to a face like this?

The other thing is that Torpedo now gets VERY upset when I leave the house for more than a little while. I was gone quite a bit yesterday, and he was restless and meowed at me a lot and just didn’t want to leave me alone at all when I got home. I started out letting them sleep on the bed with me, but as I’ve discovered, my quality of sleep goes way, WAY down when they’re on the bed at night. Well, mostly Justine, because as tiny as she is, she manages to take up an entire queen-size bed! Torpedo is much better at sleeping on the corner and not getting in my way as I toss and turn.

Anyhow, I definitely need a cat psychologist to sit down with Torpedo and let him know that it’s going to be okay. I’m not leaving him alone. And he’s never been alone a day in his life before Butterfly died. I also need that psychologist to tell him to stop tormenting the baby! She’s no threat to him. (Well, except that I think she will be when she gets a little older. She’s a dominant type) I’d settle for the two of them getting along. Especially since I have a lot of travel coming up this summer, and I’m either going to be leaving them mostly alone with someone coming in twice a day to feed them, or hiring a house-sitter to be here with them. And I’ve got a few quick overnights very soon too. I feel so guilty for leaving Torpedo alone, but on the other hand, he’s a cat and I’m not putting my life on hold because he needs me to sit with him.

*sigh* I don’t suppose cats do very well in therapy….

Status Update – Victoria: Episode 3

For those of you who have been watching PBS’s new Masterpiece Theater series, Victoria, since I majored in the History of the 19th Century in college and spent my summer reading several books about Victoria & Albert and their household, I’ve been doing a little commentary about each episode after it airs to say whether it’s historically accurate or not.

So here we are at episode three…and, well, they’re not even entirely getting the names right now. Ha!

They’ve continued with this sort of romance between Victoria and Melbourne, but as I pointed out last week, that’s not even a little bit accurate, and it actually grossly misrepresents both the law of the time—which stated that a member of the royal family could not marry a British subject—and the sentiments of both Victoria and Melbourne. They were close, yes, and she probably had a little crush on him, but she wasn’t the sort to get serious ideas about a man unless he was going to be her husband, and Melbourne had a mistress with whom he was very happy.

So that bit of this week’s episode is fabrication once again.

I’m having a slightly harder time deciding how I feel about the portrayal of Prince Albert. On the one hand, Albert was about the furthest thing from a romantic that existed. That scene where he cuts his shirt to put Victoria’s flower near his heart? Yeah, from everything I’ve read about Albert and his personality, there’s no way he would do that. Sorry ladies!

Personally, I think the real Albert was way handsomer than the actor they’ve got playing him.

But I do think that the actor portraying Albert—even though he keeps falling out of his German accent—did do a good job of portraying Albert’s personality. He was, apparently, rather gruff and dour. He did contradict Victoria a lot, to the point where later in their marriage they would get into rip-roaring fights. And he was a notorious party-pooper. He didn’t like cards, as the episode portrayed, where Victoria did. He liked to be in bed by 9:00 (sort of like me) while Victoria liked to stay up all hours. And he was generally a man’s man and distrusted most women, probably because of the way his mother was forced to leave the family. They did a good, if brief, job of explaining that in this episode, but they should have gone into more detail, because it profoundly affected Albert’s life.

Anyhow, once again, everything with the servants of the house is completely made up. Except that they did steal from Victoria a lot. But she didn’t mind so much and would defend them, to the frustration of her ladies in waiting and others, because at the end of the day, for both Victoria and Albert, their true friends were their servants. They didn’t associate much or have friends amongst the rest of the British aristocracy.

So let’s see how they do with next week’s episode!