H.O. Charles's Blog, page 17
January 27, 2012
Amusing fiction
I've noticed that Smashwords is really churning out the erotic fiction of late. There's loads of the stuff being published, and little of it is well-written. Anyway, being the naturally curious person that I am, I started looking into this 'underground genre'. I found mildly concerning amounts of incest, along with some really hilarious stuff. My favourite example is the story of Candice and her unicorn lover, who frequently leaves reminders of his presence in the form of rainbow-coloured droppings :)
***Warning, this site is NSFW - lots of erotica and porn ads***
Link here
***Warning, this site is NSFW - lots of erotica and porn ads***
Link here
January 18, 2012
January 16, 2012
The author-reader connection
This is something that's had me worried at night: how does reading about an author affect a reader's experience of the book? It concerns me because I've read in various places that readers have been happily ploughing through a series, only to discover that the writer is the most obnoxious human ever to have lived, and that's really put them off. Therefore, if an author's personality has elements that don't translate well on the web, perhaps all this interaction gubbins is a bad idea.
I try to make sure that what I put on here exists to entertain, either for those interested in the books or those interested in what goes on in my head (bit presumptuous perhaps, but that's what I look for on writers' blogs). I've been on a moan-fest recently, so I'm aware that my grumblings might not be amusing to everyone. What's more, I've discovered the previously-unexplored wonders of the anonymous mask of a pen-name. It does give me that opportunity to shout and say things that I wouldn't ordinarily say. In real life, I'm much more the sort of person who prefers to sit quietly in a corner and watch.
But anyway, what about all this commenting on people's reviews? I don't mean writing things here, I don't think that is a problem, but I have come to realise that writing comments on review sites is probably not a good thing. I've done this myself, when a kindly reviewer wrote some nice things about my book on Amazon, and I said thank you. But perhaps even that was a touch misguided. If someone wrote a really tough review, I don't think any comment I made on it would come across well. If I said thank you, it might come across as contrite, or perhaps as if I was trying to present myself as falsely humble. And if I tried to argue with any points... well, that's not going to end prettily. Besides, I know I'd just try to be sarcastic instead, and sarcasm doesn't come across well in writing if it's not expected :-)
Then there's the question of bias. Reviewers may write different things if they feel they're being watched by the writer, or that they might experience some sort of verbal reprisal should they dare to criticise. My presence really ought to be minimal where the opinions of others carry such importance.
And then there's impression it gives about the writer. If an author is successful, they ought not to have time to spare to check reviews and all that. I can't lie, I'd define myself as 'struggling'... so I still have the time to do it!
For other web-based projects I've done in the past, feedback has always been one of the most vital elements to its development and success. But old-fashioned success in media was never the slightest bit interactive; TV shows would be fed to the audience at peak time and that guaranteed a large following. Sometimes the same happens with books that come out of larger publishing houses: they're almost fed to people using massive advertising campaigns and the benefit of an established name. I'm not saying those books or TV shows have no merit, but sometimes they don't need much of it to succeed. What I'm doing here is far more niche, and far more dependent upon consumer choice.
What's more, I feel I need some sort of connection to my readers. I write what I write regardless of opinion, but I am always interested to know what it is people enjoy (or do not enjoy) about the books, or what mood it puts them in.
I try to make sure that what I put on here exists to entertain, either for those interested in the books or those interested in what goes on in my head (bit presumptuous perhaps, but that's what I look for on writers' blogs). I've been on a moan-fest recently, so I'm aware that my grumblings might not be amusing to everyone. What's more, I've discovered the previously-unexplored wonders of the anonymous mask of a pen-name. It does give me that opportunity to shout and say things that I wouldn't ordinarily say. In real life, I'm much more the sort of person who prefers to sit quietly in a corner and watch.
But anyway, what about all this commenting on people's reviews? I don't mean writing things here, I don't think that is a problem, but I have come to realise that writing comments on review sites is probably not a good thing. I've done this myself, when a kindly reviewer wrote some nice things about my book on Amazon, and I said thank you. But perhaps even that was a touch misguided. If someone wrote a really tough review, I don't think any comment I made on it would come across well. If I said thank you, it might come across as contrite, or perhaps as if I was trying to present myself as falsely humble. And if I tried to argue with any points... well, that's not going to end prettily. Besides, I know I'd just try to be sarcastic instead, and sarcasm doesn't come across well in writing if it's not expected :-)
Then there's the question of bias. Reviewers may write different things if they feel they're being watched by the writer, or that they might experience some sort of verbal reprisal should they dare to criticise. My presence really ought to be minimal where the opinions of others carry such importance.
And then there's impression it gives about the writer. If an author is successful, they ought not to have time to spare to check reviews and all that. I can't lie, I'd define myself as 'struggling'... so I still have the time to do it!
For other web-based projects I've done in the past, feedback has always been one of the most vital elements to its development and success. But old-fashioned success in media was never the slightest bit interactive; TV shows would be fed to the audience at peak time and that guaranteed a large following. Sometimes the same happens with books that come out of larger publishing houses: they're almost fed to people using massive advertising campaigns and the benefit of an established name. I'm not saying those books or TV shows have no merit, but sometimes they don't need much of it to succeed. What I'm doing here is far more niche, and far more dependent upon consumer choice.
What's more, I feel I need some sort of connection to my readers. I write what I write regardless of opinion, but I am always interested to know what it is people enjoy (or do not enjoy) about the books, or what mood it puts them in.
January 14, 2012
Determinism and Chaos in The Fireblade Array
I thought it was time for another bit of potted ponderousness following the moanings of my last post. As a small disclaimer, everything here is simplified for the purposes of writing fun fiction. I think any real physicists or philosophers would probably come and poke me with a pointy stick if they thought I was trying to fully explore such concepts in this small blog post. Academics and researchers spend their lives studying and understanding these phenomena. Anyway...
Silar is my small exploration into the idea of determinism (and possibly the most empathetic man ever to have lived). As the story progresses, his abilities in predicting the actions of people grow and improve. Frequently he can work out what others will do without even meeting them, only working on descriptions and the reactions of his friends. He works on the assumption that people have a finite set of influencers and characteristics, and that these factors determine what decisions they will make. Because he has such a brilliant mind, he is able to see and assimilate all of these factors at once, and tinker with them until he produces the outcome he desires. He works on causality - the idea that a prior state will lead to a subsequent state, and so on.
But his most frequent complaint throughout the second book is that he cannot see x or y, or that too much chaos (just throwing that word around) has been introduced. When Morghiad's mind becomes entirely chaotic, Silar is left blind to his intentions. I wanted this to be a sort of quantum mechanics element. You've probably heard of Schrödinger's cat, existing in a state of both life and death because we cannot predict exactly when a uranium atom will decay (and cause a sequence of events that would kill the cat). All of those uranium atoms have the potential to decay, we know that every so often one will, but there's no deterministic reason which explains which one will decay next and why. Quantum mechanics doesn't imply that things are unpredictable, but it introduces other possible outcomes and interactions. In fact, quantum mechanics can predict some things more accurately than classical mechanics, but that's another story.
The point is that Silar relies on his classical method of prediction to measure people, but it leaves him blind to the other effects of chaos and entanglement and all that. He is still aware of this blindness, however, and it irritates him a fair bit. Of course, any physicist would point out that this creates a bit of a paradox, since Silar must have some sort of pre-existing understanding of both classical and quantum mechanics in order to predict people accurately in the first place. D'oh! Perhaps he will discover and understand his true powers later...
The Greek storytellers were very concerned with the concept of fate, looking at the problem from a different perspective to the deterministic approach. Their tales are usually about a hero's struggle to either avoid his fate or achieve it, i.e. starting with the outcome and examining the character's journey towards it. Determinism looks at the same problem the other way around: it assumes an outcome and explains this outcome in terms of the character's biology and experience. I've certainly included a bit of the old struggle with fate, which takes an odd twist in book three.
Silar's problem is something I, as an author, am constantly faced with. I have to predict the actions of my characters as they enter different situations. But there's always that element of chaos when they lose their sanity or when the less-probable occurs, which works against whatever fate I have in store for them. Just to complicate things further, it's almost inexcusable for an author to have characters acting... um... out of character in a book unless its warranted by some other event. Therefore, as reasonable readers and authors, we all have our own ideas of deterministic behaviour and frequently balk at actions/decisions which seem odd.
I recently read a book where one of the male leads is seduced and is unknowingly used to sire a woman's child (a woman with whom he has demonstrated absolutely no chemistry). He finds out that she has misled him, and then happily congratulates her for her cunning. I mean.... who does that???!
Perhaps we're all a bit like Silar in some ways.
Silar is my small exploration into the idea of determinism (and possibly the most empathetic man ever to have lived). As the story progresses, his abilities in predicting the actions of people grow and improve. Frequently he can work out what others will do without even meeting them, only working on descriptions and the reactions of his friends. He works on the assumption that people have a finite set of influencers and characteristics, and that these factors determine what decisions they will make. Because he has such a brilliant mind, he is able to see and assimilate all of these factors at once, and tinker with them until he produces the outcome he desires. He works on causality - the idea that a prior state will lead to a subsequent state, and so on.
But his most frequent complaint throughout the second book is that he cannot see x or y, or that too much chaos (just throwing that word around) has been introduced. When Morghiad's mind becomes entirely chaotic, Silar is left blind to his intentions. I wanted this to be a sort of quantum mechanics element. You've probably heard of Schrödinger's cat, existing in a state of both life and death because we cannot predict exactly when a uranium atom will decay (and cause a sequence of events that would kill the cat). All of those uranium atoms have the potential to decay, we know that every so often one will, but there's no deterministic reason which explains which one will decay next and why. Quantum mechanics doesn't imply that things are unpredictable, but it introduces other possible outcomes and interactions. In fact, quantum mechanics can predict some things more accurately than classical mechanics, but that's another story.
The point is that Silar relies on his classical method of prediction to measure people, but it leaves him blind to the other effects of chaos and entanglement and all that. He is still aware of this blindness, however, and it irritates him a fair bit. Of course, any physicist would point out that this creates a bit of a paradox, since Silar must have some sort of pre-existing understanding of both classical and quantum mechanics in order to predict people accurately in the first place. D'oh! Perhaps he will discover and understand his true powers later...
The Greek storytellers were very concerned with the concept of fate, looking at the problem from a different perspective to the deterministic approach. Their tales are usually about a hero's struggle to either avoid his fate or achieve it, i.e. starting with the outcome and examining the character's journey towards it. Determinism looks at the same problem the other way around: it assumes an outcome and explains this outcome in terms of the character's biology and experience. I've certainly included a bit of the old struggle with fate, which takes an odd twist in book three.
Silar's problem is something I, as an author, am constantly faced with. I have to predict the actions of my characters as they enter different situations. But there's always that element of chaos when they lose their sanity or when the less-probable occurs, which works against whatever fate I have in store for them. Just to complicate things further, it's almost inexcusable for an author to have characters acting... um... out of character in a book unless its warranted by some other event. Therefore, as reasonable readers and authors, we all have our own ideas of deterministic behaviour and frequently balk at actions/decisions which seem odd.
I recently read a book where one of the male leads is seduced and is unknowingly used to sire a woman's child (a woman with whom he has demonstrated absolutely no chemistry). He finds out that she has misled him, and then happily congratulates her for her cunning. I mean.... who does that???!
Perhaps we're all a bit like Silar in some ways.
January 11, 2012
Auto-interview
Where were you born and where do you call home?
Born in Yorkshire. Now living in Suffolk.
Tell us about something that has just happened or is about to happen in your life that you would like to share.
One of the handbrake drums on my car seized up, my laptop's power unit melted and my neck hurts.
What is the name of your most recent book and, if you had to sum it up in 30 or fewer words, what would you say?
Nation of Blaze: A murderer becomes king of his country and sacrifices a great deal to secure the affections of his reincarnated lover.
If you gave one of your characters an opportunity to speak for themselves, what would they say?
Artemi D'Avrohan (The Fireblade): "The world is full of idiots, so you might as well fight the worst of them and drink with the rest."
Do you have plans for a new book? Is this book part of a series?
I am currently writing the third book in the series, The Fireblade Array.
How many pillows can you hold?
Five hollowfibre, nine feather.
What books have influenced your writing?
Everything I've ever read, seen, eaten, walked upon or smelled has influenced my books. I read anything from science journals to popular fiction, history, social anthropology textbooks, Viz, 'classics', horror and psychology. I wish I could be more specific on who has influenced me, but it would be like recalling three meals I'd recently eaten and saying they influenced my chef-ery. Those meals may be prominent in my mind because they were either great or terrible, but they won't form the greater part of me. Most of me is made of chocolate.
Is there an author whom you would really like to meet?
Many people probably say this, but I'd have loved to have met Jane Austen. She comes across as very sarcastic, witty and probably a bit mean. She seems to despise many of her characters, which makes me admire her even more.
Can you ASCII your own face?
-------///>() __\ P >()------\
Do you prefer ebooks, paperbacks or hardcovers?
Few things compare to the musty smell of a paperback that's over forty-years-old.
Could you express your love for bean sprouts in the form of a limerick?
When I eat a sprout from Saxony,It makes me get out my klaxon-y,I give a big honk,Sniff with my conk,Makes me high, it only lacks an E.
Where do you prefer to buy your books?
Train station and airport shops: clinical and usually lacking the volume you're after, but always in the right place to sell you stuff. No place like them.
If you were to remake a film using only kittens which one would you choose?
E.T. I'd want to see them try to ride a bike.
Are you a self published (indie) author?
Yes.
Which is more important to you; a regular income or artistic integrity?
Integrity while I'm poor, income when I'm rich.
What book would you like to read again?
Given more time, I would probably re-read everything I was made to study at school. My understanding of those books will have completely changed, and I'd expect it to be more fun the second time around.
Is there a particular movie that you preferred over the book version?
Bit controversial and not quite a movie, but I thought Game of Thrones was better as a TV adaptation than as a book.
What book are you currently reading and in what format (ebook/paperback/hardcover)?
Viz - Roger's Profanisaurus Rex (hardback)
Are there any authors that have grasped your interest recently and why?
E. E. 'Doc' Smith, but for all the wrong reasons. My father gave me a copy to educate me on the follies of popular writing, and I nearly fell off the chair when I read the first page. Smith's very popular, but his style is... um... doughnut-y.
Who designed the cover of your book?
Me. I know. I should probably apologise for it.
Do you buy a book by the cover?
Never. All the books I've read have terrible, boring covers that I hate. I really can't remember one that I've liked. Nope.
What "proper" job do your parents still secretly hope you'll get?
They want me to be Phil or Carenza off that there Time Team.
Do you have a book trailer?
I don't think so.
What are your thoughts on book trailers?
Does it go on the back of your car?
Do you have any advice for other writers?
Expect nothing in return for the hours of slavery you put into your work. That way, every sale and review is a pleasant surprise. Also, order your food online so that you don't have to leave the house and socialise. I find socialising is a terrible distraction as I tend to get drunk and have fun.
Do you write under a pen name?
Of course! No one I know knows I write and I want to keep it that way.
Do you ever get writer's block? If so, what medications would you recommend?
Mint julep.
Inny or outy?
Inny.
What is the best way to deal with the Israel/Palestine situation?
Everyone knows the answer is hummus.
Do you have a nickname?
No. My pen name only has internet friends.
Did you have a favourite toy as a child?
My brother's toys. Anything he had I wanted more than my own possessions.
An early childhood memory -
Dancing to the bells of a church in Florence.
Do you ever write in your PJ's?
No. I sleep naked.
What are your pet peeves?
People who promise something and never deliver. Applies to politicians, bosses and many more.
Also agents and publishers. I know I'm no Salman Rushdie or Hemingway; nor shall my work be deemed worthy of any description above (god forbid!) 'entertainment'. For I am supposed to be reverent and polite and all that to my more learned industry colleagues on the chance that they may one day work with me, but damn the sodding gits! Damn them all for their lack of responses and template emails. "Oh, we're sooo sorry we can't get behind your work and represent you... simper, blah, blah, platitude etc..." You're sorry are you? Sorry? Don't pretend you give a flying fragment of half-digested digestive biscuit! I'm sorry too! Why don't you take my manuscript, stick it up your poorly educated, over-commercialised, spreading arse, and then sit in the remains of the bloody tree you made me cut down so that I could waste all that paper? Yes, that's right. Sit on that freshly-sawn tree in Brazil and consider your self-appointed position of superiority, high above all those desperate, illiterate and idiotic authors. Feel its lignin-y proddiness and the rough tread of bark upon your thighs as you gaze at the humic remnants of humanity. Yeah, that'll teach you! What a bleak, pointless existence you and that tree had!
Well... do that or give me a list of all your contacts for a fiver. Please? Just a thought.
Any pets that you would like to tell us about?
I had a budgie once.
White wine or red?
Finish the white wine, top it up with red, call it rose, drink that and then add champagne.
Coffee or tea?
Both are water with brown rubbish in it.
So you like to cook? Do you have a favourite food?
I like it better if other people cook, but I can rustle up a decent curry when required. The best sort of food is clearly Thai. Well, Thai and Black Forest gateau.
Vanilla or chocolate ice-cream?
Chocolate, but it's even better with crunchy bits in.
What do you normally eat for breakfast, or do you skip it and get straight to work?
If there's something left in the cupboard I'll have cereal. Though, for the fourth day running my Special K Red Berries has been devoid of berries. This is not satisfactory.
What are 4 things you never leave home without (apart from keys, money and phone)?
Plasters (I think Americans call these band-aids), shoes, a hat and underwear.
Sleep in or get up early?
Early!
Laptop or desktop for writing?
Laptop.
Your favourite gadget -
A computer is always the best gadget: always more powerful, modifiable and versatile. Keys and locks are pretty cool too. I like those.
Where and when do you prefer to do your writing?
In bed, on the sofa, kitchen worktop, bathroom floor, all day.
If you were deserted on an island, which three famous people would you want with you?
Charlie Brooker to chop up trees for a shelter, Anthony Worrall-Thompson to do the angling and Stephen Fry to do the cooking. Come to think of it, that is a celebmix of nightmares.
Where is one place in the world that you would really love to visit someday?
Bali. I want to swing in the rainforest and then do a little surfing.
One of your favourite quotes -
"They're eating her... and then they're going to eat me. OH MY GOD!" <Arnold, Troll 2> Look it up on Youtube if you're not familiar with that particular work of genius.
List three books you have recently read and would recommend.
William Blake: Complete PoemsCharles Dickens: A Christmas Carol (finally decided to sit down to it after seeing a thousand adaptations - the original's brilliant)Robert Bittlestone, James Diggle and John Underhill: Odysseus Unbound.
List three of your favourite movies.
Troll 2Shark Attack 3Fatal Deviation
An actor or a book character you have a crush on -
None at the moment. They've either been around for ages, have caterpillar eyebrows or come across as dull.
What is a movie or TV show that you've recently watched and really enjoyed?
The Hottie and the Nottie. I don't understand how a film can be vain, offensive, vulgar, poorly-written and hilarious all at once, but this film had all of that in abundance. I'd recommend everyone watch it for laughs.
If your book was made into a TV series or movie, which actors would you like to see playing your characters?
I've yet to see an actor both good-looking enough and accomplished enough to play Morghiad. He goes through the entire gamut of emotions through the series and his character changes considerably. I'd want someone who was very good at playing the inexpressive hero and also very good at portraying believable insanity to do him. Artemi's character is a bit more straight-forward, and there ought to be more handsome actresses around who could play her. Then again, they'd have to look wise. Unfortunately, it's very hard for young people to look wise and a little world-weary. I'd want the role to go to a real red-head though. It's asking too much perhaps, but as a genuine ginge myself, it always annoys me when the actors have their hair dyed a ludicrous shade of orange.
January 5, 2012
Nose being forcibly re-attached to grindstone...
...as the old saying goes. I'm just about 70k into Volume 3 now, so it is getting there slowly. I also have a potential, top-secret title for it, which I've spent ages um-ing and ah-ing over. No surprises, but it'll probably have the word 'Blaze' in it!
Really thrilled to see that a reader wrote a very favourable review on Amazon.co.uk today. It means a great deal to me :-) *sobs*
Really thrilled to see that a reader wrote a very favourable review on Amazon.co.uk today. It means a great deal to me :-) *sobs*
December 26, 2011
Some lovely results
Some fantastic and favourable ratings have turned up on Kobo, together with another couple on USA iTunes. Really encouraging to see those, so thank you to whoever posted them!
I'm also really amazed to see CoB doing well in Canada's iTunes store. It's currently at no. 30 in the fantasy epics chart and no. 91 across all fantasy books. Astonishing! In the US it's been featured in the 'What's Hot' box and is at no. 69 in the fantasy epics chart; in the UK it's at no. 43; in Australia it's no. 54 :D
One day I'll kick George RR off the top spot...One. Day.
(maybe)
I'm also really amazed to see CoB doing well in Canada's iTunes store. It's currently at no. 30 in the fantasy epics chart and no. 91 across all fantasy books. Astonishing! In the US it's been featured in the 'What's Hot' box and is at no. 69 in the fantasy epics chart; in the UK it's at no. 43; in Australia it's no. 54 :D
One day I'll kick George RR off the top spot...One. Day.
(maybe)
December 16, 2011
Just having a few probs
My laptop has sung its final song. Thankfully everything has been backed up, but I now have nothing to write on! Please bear with me while I beg/borrow/steal a new one!
December 15, 2011
Artemi's List
Also found this one in the servants' cellars. Looks like Artemi's hand:
1. Tell Morghiad he is an idiot.
2. Beat Sergeant Farpike in a fight.
3. Try not to look smug after beating Sergeant Farpike in a fight.
4. Wash Lord Forllan's smalls.
5. Find another way to insult Morghiad again.
6. Make magic rocks.
7. Save entire army from inevitable destruction whilst looking astonishingly beautiful, yet rather accessible.
8. Disobey someone (probably because they are an idiot).
9. Tease Lord Forllan.
10. Sleep (and dream of telling Morghiad he's an idiot).
1. Tell Morghiad he is an idiot.
2. Beat Sergeant Farpike in a fight.
3. Try not to look smug after beating Sergeant Farpike in a fight.
4. Wash Lord Forllan's smalls.
5. Find another way to insult Morghiad again.
6. Make magic rocks.
7. Save entire army from inevitable destruction whilst looking astonishingly beautiful, yet rather accessible.
8. Disobey someone (probably because they are an idiot).
9. Tease Lord Forllan.
10. Sleep (and dream of telling Morghiad he's an idiot).
December 14, 2011
Morghiad's List
Found this scrap of paper lying around the castle:
List of things to do today:
1. Brood (morning session).
2. Stalk Artemi.
3. Reject female advances.
4. Gaze longingly out of window (and think about Artemi).
5. Have a good sword fight.
6. Stalk Artemi a bit more.
7. Brood (evening session).
8. Drink beer (to try and forget about Artemi).
9. Save country from advancing armies/bad king/rebellious relative whilst looking dashing on big horse.
10. Sleep (and dream of Artemi's hair).
List of things to do today:
1. Brood (morning session).
2. Stalk Artemi.
3. Reject female advances.
4. Gaze longingly out of window (and think about Artemi).
5. Have a good sword fight.
6. Stalk Artemi a bit more.
7. Brood (evening session).
8. Drink beer (to try and forget about Artemi).
9. Save country from advancing armies/bad king/rebellious relative whilst looking dashing on big horse.
10. Sleep (and dream of Artemi's hair).
