Rajiv Ranjan's Blog: http://readrajiv.blogspot.in/

FEMININE MYSTIQUE

FEMININE MYSTIQUE


“She wanted to talk, but he didn’t bother and continued to walk "“She wanted to walk along, but he left her forlorn”She wanted to speak..but @ the end he made her burn like a wick..“She wanted to see his face, but he turned around with no grace”“She wanted to tell what she feels, but left with a wound which could never again   heal”“She wanted to see him smile..but ends up finding only tears in her eyes.. “She wanted to touch him, but realized it was just a dream”“Now she is very alone, and wanted to cry”“Now when she needed him the most, he went away saying good – bye.


“ Depression clutched the body, heart embraced by pain”“Vision coloured in darkness, tears tickling like rain”“All rays of happiness vanished, leaving only shadows of woe”“All faces are turned around, what left is foe”“Finding me in myself, or extracting sane out of Insane”“Who I am, what is my existence, where do I go,and how do I remove the Dreadful wane.” 


                                            “ Deep inside her heart still a hope lives”                                “A hope of someone and a hope of love in which she believes”                               "Her eyes summon up a brightness and brain drown in dream”                                      “ Bruises are healed and happiness acquires the grim” 

The Psychiatrist.

                                                                                                                                                                 The Psychiatrist.
Story opens with a girl who attempted committing suicide by coming in front of a madly running car. Doctors managed to save her but not her memory.
After a few months.
It’s a Monday morning; a dazzling sunlight appeared from a slightly open window, flashed on the bedside wooden table and painted it in yellow. A girl with an award in her hand is on the cover page of the Magazine kept on that bedside table. Magazine sub column displaying: “Mumbai girl ranked among top ten psychiatrists in India”.
The room is adorned with numerous photographs on a wall. A girl was enjoying her deep sleep. Her sexy posterior in night dress and her perfectly tied topknot clearly announced the glamorous appearance she possessed. Only a girl like Tara Jaiswal looks beautiful even when she is asleep. One Message on Tara’s mobile beeped loud and distracted Tara when her delicate body was resting calmly on the cosy bed. She squinted her eyes and read the message which says- “Doctor Tara... A woman has an appointment with you today at 10’oclock...don’t forget.” Tara woke up with her first yawn, gave a lazy stretch to her body and glanced at her room. Several framed certificates, degrees, newspaper cuttings and photographs were hanging on the wall. She goggled at each one of them and smiled. The pride of being a successful psychiatrist is lurking inside her smile.She is an exception to the famous saying – “Girls are either beautiful or intelligent”. She is the perfect combination of beauty with brain.                                                                 *********************She reached her office, walking inside her cabin when one female voice interrupted her from behind.“Doctor...A woman is waiting for you inside your Cabin,” she said and pointed her the way towards the cabin. Tara went inside her cabin and saw one elderly woman standing near her desk looking out to the city through the glass window. “Hello...I am Tara.” Tara introduced herself.The woman turned around, looked at Tara, and said“ I know...Everyone knows you ...I am Mary.” The woman introduced herself.Tara offered her a seat. Tara occupied the doctor’s chair.“Tell me how can I help you?” Tara asked.“My daughter Julie” Mary showed her daughter’s photograph to Tara.“She is ill...she needs your help,” Mary continued.“What happened to her?” Tara asked.Mary remained silent for a few seconds and then said “She is trying to kill herself...she doesn’t want to live.”“What! But why does she want to kill herself?” Tara asked with surprise.“I don’t know…thrice she attempted to commit suicide.”“Did you try to find out what makes her do this?” Tara asked.“She doesn’t talk much...and worst is...she has lost her memory,” Mary said.“Ohhh…! How did that happen?”“She came in front of a running car in her last suicide attempt...we saved her...but not her memory.”“Tragic…” Tara said in a low voice.Tara threw a volley of questions at Mary about her daughter Julie’s condition. Then she switched her questions about her personal life.“She has a boyfriend?” Tara asked.“Yes she has…ROBIN...but now where he is...no one knows.”“Did you try to find Robin...? That would help us to know what went wrong in Julie’s life,” Tara inquired.“I have never seen him…and even can’t find any of his photographs from Julie’s room…”“Hmmm...Can you bring her to this clinic?”“She won’t come…”Tara thinks for a while and said “Ok...then I’ll visit your place this Saturday.”“Saturday! I will pray she lives till Saturday...” Mary said with a saddened voice and got up to leave.                                                  *********
Mary words perturbed Tara a lot and without consuming much time the very next day she visited Julie’s place. Julie’s room was like a closed container guarded with a CCD camera. Windows were locked, fan was removed and instead AC installed, which was beyond her reach. One corner of a room was occupied by one small bed and the rest of the room was kept empty. Mary took Tara inside Julie’s room. The ambience of the room was very silent and devoid of any colour.“Here is your patient,” Mary said to Tara.Tara’s eyes moved across the room and came to rest at Julie. Julie was sitting on her bed wearing a white nightie. Her head was down and her eyes aimlessly staring at one corner of the wall.“Julie…Hi I am Tara,” Tara said with a low and calm tone.Julie turned to face Tara. Julie’s eyes were red, spotted with a dark circle. Her hair was untied and improper way of wearing clothes clearly describing her mental condition and insanity.“Why are your eyes red?” Tara asked, but Julie remained silent.Tara walked few more steps towards Julie and said “Do you want to share something?”Julie gave a glance at Tara and then looked away.Tara’s all attempts to provoke Julie for a talk went in vain. She was doing one way conversation with Julie.Tara sat on her knees and said “Julie you have to do me one favour...get out of this room no one will stop you...Come to my clinic. Meet people. You will feel good...I’ll take care of you.”Julie Preferred to remain muted.“I’ll wait for you,” Tara said and began to move out of the room.“Do you have a cigarette?” Julie spoke for the first time. Tara turned around to see Julie.  “You smoke?” Tara asked.“Do you have a cigarette?” Julie reiterated giving strength to each word.“No...I don’t have…smoking kills,” Tara said.“Who says I want to live,” Julie replied and looked up for the first time at TARA with her unblinking gaze.“But smoking kills slowly,” Tara responded.There remains an awful silence for few seconds and then Tara broke the silence.“Ok...you want to smoke...I’ll give you...but for that you have to visit my clinic...And there no one will stop you from smoking.”Tara bade her goodbye and left.                                                   **********
Next day Julie went to Tara’s clinic accompanied by her mother Mary. She dropped Julie at Tara’s cabin and left. “I hate this woman.” Julie said to Tara pointing towards her mother Mary.“But she is your mother.”“I don’t remember...and if she is my mother why does she always lock me in a room?” “Because she cares for you.”Julie looked around Tara’s office and said “I like your office,” her face still devoid of any expression.Tara smiles and said “So...what did you like about this office?”Julie looked outside, through the glass, and said “Your cabin is enclosed by a glass…and has no colour…” She paused and then seconds later she said “Colours hurt my eyes.”Tara walked towards Julie and stood behind her.Julie turned back, looked at Tara with an unwavering stare, and said, “My cigarette?”  Tara gave her one cigarette and helped her to light it. Tara managed to convince Julie to make her visit the clinic for meditation classes in exchange for a cigarette.                                                 **********
Julie started making regular visits to Tara’s clinic. Tara gradually began her treatment on Julie which included meditation, yoga, physical exercises and all that which helps Julie to distract herself from an idea of suicide. One day suddenly Tara got a call from MARY, who informed her about Julie’s sudden illness. Tara went to meet Julie at her house and noticed Julie indulged in drawing.“How are you now?” Tara asked to Julie. Julie was completely engrossed in sketching. She ignored Tara’s word. Tara sat next to her and said smiling “You are a painter?”“Sketch artist, not a painter,” Julie said. She showed one of her sketches to Tara and further asked “How is it?” It was a sketch of a woman sitting alone in a crowd.“It’s very nice and very intense,” Tara said. They both exchanged a glance and smiled. Julie continued to draw a sketch on a paper while Tara was lost in some thought. After few minutes Tara broke the silence and said “Can you draw one sketch for me, a sketch of a man?” Julie looked suspiciously at her.“A sketch of a man aging around 25-30, some unknown face; whatever comes to your mind …draw it.”“Why do you want me to make something like that?” a sceptical Julie asked.After a minute of brief discussion Tara coaxed Julie to make a sketch of some unknown male face. Mary asked Tara about her daughter’s condition on which Tara replied saying “She is recovering and best part is that now we can find Julie’s boyfriend – ROBIN.” Sceptical Mary couldn’t comprehend anything and looked confused.“But how is that possible?” Mary asked.Tara half grinned and said “I just played my card by insisting her to draw a sketch of some unknown male face...and now she will rack her brain to conjure up some image but her subconscious mind will throw the image of someone whose face she had already imprinted in her past…it might be of her father or…”“Or…?” Mary said curiously.“Or…her boyfriend ROBIN.”                                                    *******
to be continued.......



© 2015 K Rajiv Ranjan All Rights Reserved

            

Phases of faces

Phases of FacesPoem by Kumar Rajiv Ranjan
Behind the brightest part of one’s soul, is the dark side of every face
While few choose to be furious, others bask in grace
While sorrow is seen on one side, bliss is seen at some placeThese are nothing but the  Phases Of Every Face…
The smile of an old beggar, or an infant’s sacred face
One has a repellent view, the other immense solace
It’s the mask of courtesy that hides the rashes
And the  Phases Of Every Face…
Dubious plans behind a fake friendship
Murder the little trust and even kill the acquaintanceship
In the chase of pleasure and opportunities, emotions & dreams clash
Still there are the  Phases Of Every Face…
In an attempt to project the good in us, we hide our faults
Neglecting our shortcomings we portray ourselves as a know all.
We give up our modesty while betrayal & dishonesty we embrace
Why do we have  Phases Of Every Face…
Amidst the crowd everyone walks
But for those who stand for the truth, no one talks
Nodding in self-belief is the nature of the masses
Still no one cares as if they are  Phases Of Every Face…
The real truth is never spoken & lies are always saluted
Corrupted to the brim our blood is diluted
The pure ones are targeted and beaten in every race
Unfortunately each one of us have  Phases Of Every Face…

© 2015 K Rajiv Ranjan All Rights Reserved 

Maasumo ka janaza

Har harf me ho raha dard ye wo manzar hai…
Nanhe jism ko bhi berahmi se chir daale ye kaisa khanjar hai Sharmsaar hua insaan… ye kin ke paapon ka khamiaza hai Nazar utha ke dekho ye MAASUMON KA JANAZA HAI… Shok me dooba ye jahan aur dar se sehma badan
Dafn huii saari insaniyat jab masoom odh chuke kafan… Har aankh me hain aansoo… fir bhi krodh zyada hai Nazar utha ke dekho ye MAASUMON KA JANAZA HAI… Na kahin afsos hai… na hin sharmindagi…
Guzar rahi jo gunaahon me ye kaisi hai zindagi… Ab har rooh cheekh rahi…ab har zakhm taza hai… Zara Nazar utha ke dekho ye MAASUMON KA JANAZA HAI…”

Nagma...

Nagma- The Urdu word which means a “Beautiful Song”, in Hindi it means “Taraana” but in SBI, Mumbai branch, it means a girl who recently turned 29 and desperately needs a life partner to live the rest of her life. Anyone who has crossed 25, girls in particular, and is single becomes a topic of chit chat among all groups: the society, the relatives, the colleagues and even their own friend circle. Just like a graduation boy must have a job in his hand, in a girl’s case her hands must be in some mature and settled hands.At a glance Nagma has a very simple appearance- A very simple girl from a middle class family. Short in stature, wheatish complexion, always clad in simple Salwaar kameez. Her family includes a housewife mom and a reporter father. Like every parent, her parents have a dream to find her a perfect match, which for them means – A US settled guy with a handsome salary, doesn’t matter how handsome he himself is.. Nagma has completely surrendered herself to her parents’ choice. She cleared her job interview in the very first attempt but got rejected several times in a marriage proposal. A few more months to go before she reaches 30: An age group where people started considering you as old.
                                                               ******************
“ Ek pyaar ka nagma hai, mauzo ki raawani hai, zindagi or kuch bhi nahi..teri meri kahani hai”. Nagma was listening to her favorite song on mobile while working on her computer when some masculine voice disturbed her from behind.“Hey Miss Nagma, come out of your dream” he said and shook her slightly.“I wasn’t dreaming”. Nagma said hastily.“Well…women at your age only dream. I can understand” He said and gave her a gleeful smile. In response Nagma scowled at him.“What do you want?” she asked annoyingly.“I don’t want anything. But a man who is waiting for you at reception might want something”. He said and continued his horrible smile. Nagma gritted her teeth in anger and stood to move towards the reception.“Who knows he might be the one… but be careful he is a little older than you” he shouted from behind while the bunch of people around laughed at her discourteously. Nagma avoided everyone and proceeded towards the reception where she noticed a middle aged man waiting for her.“Yes..How can I help you?” She asked.“Is it Nagma Siddiqui?” the man said, ogling at her. Like an examiner examines an answer sheet, he was scanning her very carefully.“Yes I am Nagma Siddiqui” she said. The man’s eyes made her a little uncomfortable and she straightened her dupatta up a bit.“ I think I am at a wrong place” the man said stepping back.“But! I am Nagma.. I guess you were looking for me” she said puzzled.“Yes..But..but I think I got a wrong person…i..i am sorry”. He said hurriedly and turned back to leave.“But..listen” baffled Nagma shouted from behind but he had left. Whatever happened was unfathomable for Nagma. She couldn’t comprehend anything and decided to follow him.She saw him standing on the corridor of the bank, speaking to someone.“Sir..she looks completely different then her profile pic on Kar Lo Shaadi.com. She is not fair; she is ugly and isn’t suitable to marry your modern son”. The man was speaking over his phone.Nagma heard his conversation and felt embarrassed. She went to the washroom crying, looked at herself in the mirror and cursed herself for how she is. Every word of that man pierced her heart very deeply.She went back to her cubicle. Though she felt like crying more, she ceased her emotions, as that would have added to her embarrassment amongst her colleagues. This has become a daily occurrence for her. Everyday she has to bear with different kinds of people who come and play with her emotions                                                *****************************“Mummy!! You posted my profile on Shaadi.com” Nagma came home and hollered on her mother.“No beta its kar lo shaadi.com” her mother replied while washing utensils in the kitchen.“But why!!…I am not so desperate to get married. You don’t know what kind of people come to meet me due to your bullshit post on some dam site. Don’t you know how embarrassed I feel.” Nagma said and threw her bag in anger.“What is there to get embarrassed in this…everybody does that…anyway did someone come to meet you today….How was he?....Did you like him?”. Her mother threw a volley of question to her daughter in one breath.“ohh…he was handsome …and 45 year old bald man and probably a father of two sons..I would love to marry him…happy” Nagma said annoyingly and went inside her room smashing a door hard.“God!! This girl speaks so much…how would anyone like her? Learn some shyness and delicacy girl, men don’t like a woman who speaks so much. Her mom followed her inside the room-lecturing and irritating her further. Most Indian moms worries only about two things, maid: who comes late to work and a daughter who is getting late to marry.“Mom please stop describing men’s choices. I am not interested…please let me sleep”. Nagma said and covered her face with a pillow.“ Ok sleep, but be ready this Sunday. One family is coming to meet you. Oh God!! Please help this child                                                               ********************
In Siddiqui family celebrations occur very seldom- on a occasion of any festival or when someone special visits their home to see Nagma. This was the 20th family’s visit to Nagma’s house ever since she crossed 25. Her mom was performing both of her tasks quite perfectly, one preparing a good meal for the guests and second getting her daughter ready for the occasion. Over makeup, heavy cloths, shining jewellery, gajra and intoxicated fragrance were loaded on Nagma’s body which she was not used to and which she hated the most.“Ya allah…Please make this happen” Nagma’s mother intoned a prayer while holding the tea tray to Nagma. “And control your tongue over their” she continued to Nagma to which Nagma responded with a sheer grin.Very melodramatically Nagma entered into the hall where six eyes were fixed on her. Very cautiously she kept the tray on the table and said “Asalaam- waaley-kum”“Waaley-kum-a-sallam” said the boy’s mother. “ So, what is your name beti” She asked.“Everything is written in the bio-data budhiyyaa” She wanted to reply but instead what she said is “Nagma”. She kept her eyes down while fidgeting nervously with her dupatta.“Beautiful name!!…. what's your hobby” her prospective ‘Saas’ asked again.“When you have already read my bio-data then why the hell are you asking these questions” Nagma’s mind spoke but her tongue was in total control as commanded by her mother. And what she said is“ My hobbies are cooking , listening to music and watching movies” but this was a lie, her hobby also included dancing which she didn't mention as it would have led to the next obvious question“Can you show us a dance?”.A student in an interview and an unmarried girl in a marriage proposal place their hobbies very carefully.“Ohh…you watch movies!! Which is your favourite movie” her soon to be ‘saas inquired.“Bandit Queen” Nagma said impulsively.“What!! ...are you serious?” Boy's mother was dumbfounded by her reply.“She means…she likes movies on reality, but she also like Dilwaale Dulhaniya Le jaayenge. She is a big fan of Shah Rukh Khan” Nagma’s mother interrupted and brushed Nagma’s head, forcing herself not to tap on her head instead for her bluntness.“Ohh…But my son Naushaad doesn’t watch movies…he is not like other boys who stare at the actresses.” The typical would be said, but then suddenly.“What’s my name….what’s my name…my name is Sheela… Sheela ki jaawani” Boys mobile rang hard and announced his crush on Katrina. No one dared to say anything but Nagma giggled aloud.“These modern smart phones and their default ringtone I tell you.. He...he” Boy’s mother said with a sheepish grin.“Does your son speak or he is dumb” Nagma’s mind spoke again but since she was not allowed to talk much she was doing one way conversation in her mind.And after firing several questions, the Boy's mother allowed him to talk “ Tula kahi vicharaiche ahe ka” which means “do you want to ask something” and the boy started his conversation with a very intelligent question.“What’s your name?”“Indira Gandhi you fool” As usual Nagma’s aggressive mind shouted and this time she couldn’t curb her aggressiveness to effect her tongue and said “It's written over the Bio-Data”.“Nagma!!...Please reply what he asked”“Ohh God!! I am sitting among a bunch of fools” She thought again.“Nagma……..” Her mother cleared her throat and said staring hard at her.“JI My name is Nagma..and my hobby is cooking, watching movies, listening to music. And my favourite movie is Bandit Queen but according to my mom my favourite movie is Dilwaale dulhaniya Le jaayenge… and..“we know all this” The Boy said interjecting.“Then what do you want to ask?” Nagma asked politely, maintaining a fake smile on her face.“Ask some general knowledge question beta” Boy’s mother said nudging him and then what he asked was very funny“Mere photo ko seene se yaar chipkale saiyaan fevicol se”All and sundry went shock in silence and looked at the boy, then the boy spoke to bridge the awful silence..“Tell me which singer sang this song” Boy continued and asked this question.Now every eye turned towards Nagma and she became more nervous than before.“Answer this …” Boy’s mother said and looked at the boy with pride.“I don’t watch this kind of movie” Nagma gulped and said nervously.“This is a latest release..You should know” Boy said and broadened his chest with pride.Nagma went blank and after a few seconds pause she said, “So you keep all the latest update”“Yes I do” He said smiling.“Oh… you are so intelligent…why don’t you answer one of my questions” Nagma challenged him indirectly and politely.“Yes I will ..Please ask” Boy accepted excitedly oblivious of what was to come next.Then Nagma asked her Question for the first time“How do you think our finance ministry can balance the fiscal deficit and help in current inflation crisis?”All of a sudden an awful silence engulfed the room completely. This time the silence had depth. Boy gaped in awe at Nagma with mouth agape and he made his face as if he is suffering from Amnesia.This way the cold war between Nagma and the boy’s family ended. They went saying they will inform their decision later on call but in Indian society when one says “will inform on call” it means there is nothing to inform. And as expected by Siddiquie family, no call came. This way Nagma experienced another rejection.
                                                              ********************
Gradually Nagma started believing that she has to live alone in this world. She realised it’s better to be alone than to be accompanied by a fool or by a mismatch. She is independent enough to live alone and there is no reason for her to have a male companion to live the rest of her own life.
But it has been truly said by someone “when you avoid something, it follows you until death” .
Next day when Nagma opened her mail it was flooded with preferable match and other offers from Kar lo Shaadi.com . Every second thing related to Nagma was making her realize that she is a damsel – A forlorn Damsel.
Nagma was feeling distressed by these typical social perceptions but somehow drifted her mind away from marriage and concentrated on work, then suddenly her mobile rang hard. She picked it to answer the call which was from Kar lo Shaadi.com
“Hello mam I am calling from Kar lo Shaadi.com…I need your few minutes”
“From where are you calling….Shaadi.com?” she said confusingly
“No mam its Kar lo Shaddi.com”.
“Yes Mr. .com tell me”
“Your profile on Shaadi.com is not 100% complete. Answer my few questions. This will help you to get more response”
“What kind of question?”
“Its about Partner Preferences Mam. Your Age is 29. So are you looking for a person less than 29 or more than 29.”
“What!” Nagma replied irritably.
“I mean are you looking for someone younger then you or older?”
“What kind of Question is this? Of course someone older than me”
“How older?” he asked rapidly.
“What do you mean by how older….i..i..don’t know”.
“Ok..It means Age is no barrier…ok then Fair, whitish, Black or dark Black”
“Now what is this?” she said petulantly.
“Colour Preference Mam..I listed out colour choices for you” he said giving stress to each word.
“Colour!! …Colour for what?”
“Your Partner colour mam”
“That doesn’t matter”
“It means even dark black is fine…fine next question.. height… 5’7 to 5’11 is fine”
“ya its fine. Even 6 feet is fine” Nagma replied innocently, unaware of what coming next .
“Ohh 6 feet. What if its 6 feet 1 inch or 2 inch. Does 1or 2 inches will matter to you?”
“What!…No its fine”
“Ok that means size doesn’t matter..I mean height ..height doesn’t matter. Now weight. So tell me Slim, average, athletic, overweight, Fat, very fat”.
“Doesn’t mater. A normal healthy person.”
“We have also included another option in this category.A Person with large abdomen. Would you like to select this option? ”
“No...Not at all. Why would I like to select that option?”
“Actually mam we have made several surveys and found that women find those men sexy who have large abdomen”. He said bluntly “anyway do you want to include any special cases” He continued to ask his idiotic questions.
“Now what is this special case?”
“Special case includes- Mentally retired, physically challenged like dumb, deaf, impotent, polio infected and many more. Do you want to select this option”?
“No of course not. Now please stop this question and answer session. I have a work to complete” Nagma had completely lost her patience.
“ And I...Mam..Mam..Mam ..A few more minutes please. Just a few more options left. Tell me Mam Do you want to include HIV positive cases”.
“Just shut-up . Are you out of your mind!!”. Nagma growled
“Sorry mam..It is on the list so it’s my duty to ask. I am really sorry Mam. So the next option is Bald or a lot of hair” he continued to play with her patience and emotions
“Oh god!! Please stop” she said huffily.
“Mam it’s an important option. We have conducted a survey and find that women like……”
“to hell with your survey and to hell with you. I don’t care about your idiotic survey and I also don’t care if its bald or having a plenty of hair..anywhere.. Please no more questions” she said angrily and hung up.
Nagma got dejected and felt like a criminal who has committed the crime of being single.
“Why doesn’t this cruel world allow me to live the way I want” She thought and before she could overcome from her trauma, her mobile shouted again. She picked it up to answer.
“Mam we have included another option in the list. Do you want a partner with a moustache or a clean shave…”
“Oh please shut-up. And don’t ever call me again” Nagma Shouted loud and ended the call. Her voice was loud enough to disturb her colleagues working in the office.
“ I am really sorry guys” she said to everyone in general.
“No its ok .We can understand your frustration. In this age this is normal. We strongly recommend you to marry soon”. Her colleague teased her instead of a casual reply. Poor Nagma felt Embarrassed and left the place with a saddened face. Some people don’t care for your feeling. For them it’s “ones pain is others smile”.
“ Depression clutched the body, heart embraced by pain”“Vision coloured in darkness, tears tickling like rain”“All rays of happiness vanished, leaving only shadows of woe”“All faces are turned around, what left is foe”“Finding me in myself, or extracting sane out of Insane”“Who I am, what is my existence, where do I go,and how do I remove the Dreadful wane.
Apparently in some psychological survey it was found that love doesn’t happen only when you are making dinner together, hanging out with each other, laughing in a bar, sleeping all night in each other’s arms or even in a long and healthy relationship, but it also comes from somewhere more complicated and difficult ways. It is a most uncertain thing and can happen anytime with anyone-without any warning, like a sneeze.
One day while coming out of the mosque, she saw a boy who was busy with his camera and clicking the photographs. She finds it strange and since most of the time she has been living with an upset mind due to her marriage she flushes out her anger on the boy.
“Hey Mr. …People come here to offer a prayer. If you are not interested in praying then at least don’t disturb them with your camera”. She flared and boy gets scared.
“ Sorry ..I wasn’t aiming to disturb them…anyway I am done with my prayer and clicking some pic for my magazine”.
“Ohh..is it then its ok..carry on” Nagma said and grinned.
“ I am even done with my picture. I am a photographer in a Mumbai Masala magazine and need to post some beautiful picture of a city anyway I am Ali.” He said while covering his camera.
“Ohh ....Even my father works there and my name is……” and this way they start their conversation.
“So you are working there as an intern photographer”
“Yes …but soon will be a permanent photographer. Anyway I am a photographer by profession but by passion I am a writer. One day I’ll write for Mumbai Masala”.
“Wow..So what you write”
“I write on many things like recently I wrote about a woman”.
“Women!!!!....so what you wrote about women good or bad?”
“Of-course good…why will I write bad”
“because for most of the people women is like a sweet cake which is divided into a several pieces for man sometime as daughter, sometime as sister, then as girlfriend , wife, then mother and also by immoral societies.
“Yes this is a common perception but for me women are like a beautiful plant, who looks beautiful from outside but only she knows the struggle required by its root against the soil to grow long, strong and pleasant but still its beauty surrounded by many thorn”. This one statement from this boy works like a magic which conjures up a feeling of respect for that boy in Nagma’s heart.
They have begun to meet regularly and started liking each other’s company which gradually cultivated a seed of love in a fertile soil of Nagma’s heart. It took 30 long years for Nagma to find her love. She was finally arrested in someone’s dreams, she was like a woman in a desert who finally finds an ocean and tastes the sweetness of it, but the sour part of it was still to come.
Later one day Nagma find’s that he is 5 years younger than her, but that doesn’t bother her and her affection towards Ali doesn’t get reduced. Gradually Ali becomes an ‘Achilles heel’ for Nagma. Day’s turns to weeks and weeks turn into months and they continue to meet. All these meeting’s radicalize her from a forlorn girl to a passion driven lover who is now determined to confess her love to Ali- The love which had come in her life as a surprise, but the unpredictable life has stored more surprises for her. One day when she decided to disclose her feelings to Ali, she found that his marriage is already fixed and he is getting married shortly. She felt left alone again and soon realized that her affection and love for Ali was one sided. She was enjoying her life and was very happy when she was alone but now there were many reasons for her to cry and no reason to live. She locked herself in a room, cried hard and cursed herself several times for getting attracted towards Ali.
The day came when Ali got married and she also attended his marriage. The person whom she loved was tying a knot with someone else and in front of her, probably the worst situation any lover can be in.
“She wanted to talk, but he didn’t bother and continued to walk”“She wanted to walk along, but he left her forlorn”“She wanted to see his face, but he turned around with no grace”“She wanted to tell what she feels, but left with a wound which could never again heal”“She wanted to touch him, but realized it was just a dream”“Now she is very alone, and wanted to cry”“Now when she needed him the most, he went away saying good – bye.Even after many days of Ali’s marriage she couldn’t forget him. Days and Nights she just thinks about him who causes a loss of hunger and other Interest. Having a one sided love is very dangerous and falling in love with a married person is even more dangerous than having a one sided love and Nagma has experienced the both.
Nagma’s mind was captured by Ali’s image and was impossible for her to remove him completely. The billions of nerve cells in her scalp responsible for co- ordianting a voluntary and in involuntary movement of the body were ruled by his one image. And which forced her to fall into depression. Therefore She decided to leave all her memory behind and left the city and also her job to get settled in Bangalore .
She has chosen a path on which everyone’s fear to walk- A path which goes to loneliness- A Path for leaving alone. She has now prepared her mind to live her rest of the life alone and away from everyone who will make her realize about the marriage.
But Life has a very incredible feature- it never goes with a plan and it will throw the most unpredictable and important part of it “love” at you when you avoid it the most.

Two Years later,

Nagma had to travel to Chennai to attend her friend’s marriage. She boarded a train from Bangalore to Chennai and was in the heat of the moment to capture her allotted seat. She got surprised when she saw a man seated on her seat and talking over the phone.
“Yes mom I registered myself on karlo shaadi. Com. I’ll talk to you later I am on the train…. bye”.
“Excuse me Mr. this seat no. 32 belongs to me” Nagma said to the passenger.”
“But I have a ticket booked for this seat” passenger said surprisingly.
“That is impossible. My seat no. is 32. Please get up” Nagma yelled at him this time.
“But seat no. 32 is allocated to me, I have confirmed it from TT” Even he was not giving up.
Their argument lasted for a few minutes and then the man demanded Nagma to show her ticket, which initially she denied but after being requested for by other passenger several times she handed her ticket to the man.
“Do you think I am travelling WT. Here is my ticket” She said
Man studied her ticket and started laughing uncontrollably.
“Why are you laughing for?” Furious and suspicious Nagma asked.
“Madam your seat no. is not 32, it’s your age you got yourself confused with. Your seat no. is 35” He said laughing. Nagma looked at the ticket and then both burst out laughing.
You all must be wondering what happen next. No story could be complete without a love story and Nagma’s love story has just started.
So this is not the end of Nagma’s Story. It’s just a beginning.

                                       “ Deep inside her heart still a hope lives”
                             “A hope of someone and a hope of love in which she believes”
                               Her eyes summon up a brightness and brain drown in dream”
                                     “ Bruises are healed and happiness acquires the grim”
                                                                                                 ************



© 2015 K Rajiv Ranjan All Rights Reserved