Roumen Bezergianov's Blog
February 11, 2020
October 25, 2011
A free excerpt from my book "Character Education with Chess"
In chess, we have two kings — one belongs to us and the purpose of the game is to acquire the other. This can be viewed on a personal level where our king is our soul and the king we strive to capture is the meaning of our life. This is indeed the essence of authentic living, or as Viktor Frankl calls it, “the primary motivation” of human life. In his book “Man’s Search for Meaning” Frankl notes that in today’s world many people may have the means but lack meaning in their lives and this accounts for many of the modern problems. He explains that “the meaning of life differs from man to man, from day to day, and from hour to hour. What matters, therefore, is not the meaning of life in general but rather the specific meaning of a person’s life at a given moment.” Frankl illustrates this through the example of chess, where a “good move” can only be defined in the context of a particular situation. Our values inform us about the ultimate meaning of life much like in chess, where we know the main goal is the King. In order to fulfill that meaning, however, we need to choose our “moves” based on our unique circumstances.
Through the horrors of the death camps Frankl had to reaffirm the meaning of his own life and help suicidal comrades. He realized that he should not ask about the meaning of life but should rather see himself as the one being questioned by life. This can be seen as a chess-like dynamic where you realize that it is not you who is placing life in check but rather the opposite—you are in check. At that point the game requires you not to pursue your opponent’s King but to take care of your own. If you are not able to do that, it is check-mate. Frankl’s answer to his suffering consisted in responsible and noble actions, in upholding the human dignity in the face of its gravest challenge.
From this we see that the meaning of life is a “two-way street”—we have the right to expect certain things from life and strive towards them, but it is not over when we are no longer able to expect anything because life still expects things from us. When Frnakl reverses the question—not what I expect from life, but rather what life expects from me—I am reminded of John F. Kennedy, who, years later, spoke the famous words: Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country. In the heights of success or in the depths of suffering, the principle is the same. In our time we are witnesses to examples such as Bill Gates and Warren Buffett, who donated their great wealth to serve humanity as an answer to what life expects from them.
Joseph Campbell, one of the greatest American thinkers of the 20th century, arrived at similar conclusions about the meaning of life through his study of mythology and religion. He said: “When people say they are looking for the meaning of life, what they are really looking for is a deep experience of it… You bring the meaning to it.” This is the realization that we have the power and the responsibility to discover and fulfill the unique meaning of our lives. “A deep experience” of life can only be achieved through active participation and complete dedication. As Frankl put it, the human being is not a “closed system”—the meaning is not isolated within the person, but is in the relationship of the person with the world. And so it is in chess—the purpose is achieved in the interaction between the two sides. You make a move and the world responds, acknowledging that you are connected, that you are a part of this big give-and-take, that you are responsible and what you do matters.
Being and Doing
The King does not do much—it only moves one square at a time and is particularly vulnerable to be attacked. The other pieces are obliged to coordinate the King’s security. Here a question can be posed about the discrepancy between the King’s value and the King’s abilities: If the King can not do much, where does its value come from? Most people will have a difficult time with this question and often interesting discussions ensue. Here the old philosophical theme of “being and doing” can be brought up—the King’s value comes from its BEING and not from its DOING.
We live in a world where the focus is so much on doing such as performance at school, at work, achievements, material success, that we tend to ignore the very being of our lives and the world. Being is such a mystery that when one puts a lot of thought into it, the sense of wonder only increases. Albert Einstein has said: “The eternal mystery of the world is its comprehensibility.” Mystery reveals itself…and the paradox that it is not less mysterious for the revealing. However, in a world where the concept of being tends to be ignored, kids and adults alike can say very little about the mystery of being. The King expresses the reality that being is primary while doing is secondary. There is no doing without being.
Who am I? What is this world around me? What do I stand for? What is worthy of my attention, time and effort? Those are questions associated with being and meaning. When a kid is exposed to the topic of being and invited to share their point of view, you may be pleasantly surprised by their refreshing perspective. A client once told me that his awareness of being helped him resolve a religious question that had been on his mind: If God created everything then who created God? Since being is primary and doing secondary, it became easy for him to dismiss the question of “who created God” as a doing type of question and it did not interfere with his faith anymore.
In my discussions with kids, I explain that being is continuous, while doing has a beginning and an end. I compare being to silence and doing to the words we say. Just like silence holds our words and is often taken for granted, so does being “hold” our doing, and we take being for granted. Another parallel, used traditionally to describe the relationship between being and doing is the grinding stone—it is made up of a central pole, which is still and immobile and around which the stone turns. The invitation is to find that still place within yourself, and direct your actions from that point of view. If we are more aware of our being and place it on the “throne” of our value system, then our doing would be more meaningful, purposeful, and effective. The processes of identity formation and moral development become more conscious and intentional with being in mind.
When we embrace the mystery of being, we “feel” the flow of life and acquire “a perspective of abundance”, as Wayne Dyer calls it, giving up the commonly held “perspective of scarcity.” Generous actions then follow from such a perspective. The “perspective of scarcity” allows fear to influence the decision making process and often leads to excesses in prosperity and austerity alike, preventing optimal enjoyment of good times and effective problem-solving during crises. Viktor Frankl tells how the horrors of the death camps would push people to try to make “the present …less real” by focusing more on the past; he warned against it for in doing so, they overlooked real opportunities to improve their lot and derive meaning from their day-to-day existence, without which hopelessness and suicide would follow.
When discussing the topic of substance abuse with kids, I explain that doing drugs in order to be high and happy means that people try to support being by doing. However, being is “bigger” than doing. I validate that people who use substances know on some level that they need to take care of their being but they have the order reversed because doing can never support being simply because the “smaller” thing can never support the “bigger” thing. It is as absurd as trying to support silence by increasing the noise. The right order of things is that being supports doing and doing needs to serve being. In chess, without the King, the other pieces would all be “dead”, so their existence is supported by the King, but they need to serve the King with their capacity for action in order to have a good game.
Every action needs to be taken with the intention to serve rather than undermine being. This is an invitation to walk the talk—“let the beauty you love be what you do” advises the great poet and spiritual teacher Rumi. In this sense the King also symbolizes our conscience. Viktor Frankl explains that when the person’s primary motivation to discover and fulfill the meaning of his life is frustrated, then he turns to secondary consolations such as pleasure-seeking (Freudian psychology) as expressed by substance use and/or lack of sexual responsibility, or power-seeking (Adlerian psychology) as expressed by the obsession with money.
I should make the point here that some kids often want to jump quickly to conclusions about being since they are not so comfortable processing abstract material and developmentally they are more prepared for concrete ideas. In one sense, chess helps concretize those abstract ideas, but we should be careful to prevent kids from jumping to the wrong conclusions. As an example, I had a situation in which I was explaining the ideas of being and doing to a client in juvenile detention and he responded confidently: “I get it—just be who you are”, as though he was trying to justify his own anti-social behaviors through the concept of being. He had adopted a criminal identity and his perceptions lead him to conclusions that would further confirm such identity. Here the Native American story “Two Wolves” came to mind:
An old Cherokee chief is teaching his grandson about life:
"A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy. "It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.
"One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt, and ego.
"The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.
"This same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"
The old chief simply replied, "The one you feed."
This is a story of becoming. Being is independent of our choices and actions—it just is, in its mysterious way, and we are privileged to temporarily be its “guests”. What kind of “guests” do we want to be? We are being nourished and supported by Being and our attitudes are channeling the nourishment to one or the other “wolf”, to actions that serve to affirm Being, showing gratitude and respect, or to actions that are short-sighted and self-defeating, showing lack of awareness and guidance.
More will be said about becoming when we discuss the Pawn later, but a few things need to be mentioned here too. The process of becoming involves learning, in which innate qualities such as intelligence and memory are called forth, engaged on their developmental level, refined, and instructed into “the common knowledge” of the species. In a way, learning can be roughly viewed as an intentional interaction between biological and environmental factors, between “nature and nurture”, whose purpose is preparation for optimal existence. In the case of human beings, the process of basic learning and development between birth and adulthood takes about 18 years currently—longer than in previous historical periods and much longer than required for any animal.
A great part of the animal’s preparation has to do with instinct, while the human preparation demands much more instruction. Put in another way, the “nurture” proportion is much greater in humans in the formula of “nature-nurture” interaction as evidenced by the ever-growing need for “nurture.” In this vein the old Chinese proverb comes to mind: There are no bad students, only bad teachers. This proverb appreciates the importance of significant people in a young person’s life, starting with parents and care-givers. It is important to note, however, that each individual interprets what they learn in their own unique way, and therefore the ultimate responsibility for what a person becomes lies with the person.
Viktor Frankl reminds us that we do not simply exist, but decide what our existence will be and every second we make a choice as to what we become in the next moment. This is the human element that defies any predictions and projections and is only the domain of the individual. No statistical method can capture the human element. It is the source of spontaneity and hope for humanity because it has the potential to rise above the limitations of inadequate teachers and role models.
Through the horrors of the death camps Frankl had to reaffirm the meaning of his own life and help suicidal comrades. He realized that he should not ask about the meaning of life but should rather see himself as the one being questioned by life. This can be seen as a chess-like dynamic where you realize that it is not you who is placing life in check but rather the opposite—you are in check. At that point the game requires you not to pursue your opponent’s King but to take care of your own. If you are not able to do that, it is check-mate. Frankl’s answer to his suffering consisted in responsible and noble actions, in upholding the human dignity in the face of its gravest challenge.
From this we see that the meaning of life is a “two-way street”—we have the right to expect certain things from life and strive towards them, but it is not over when we are no longer able to expect anything because life still expects things from us. When Frnakl reverses the question—not what I expect from life, but rather what life expects from me—I am reminded of John F. Kennedy, who, years later, spoke the famous words: Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country. In the heights of success or in the depths of suffering, the principle is the same. In our time we are witnesses to examples such as Bill Gates and Warren Buffett, who donated their great wealth to serve humanity as an answer to what life expects from them.
Joseph Campbell, one of the greatest American thinkers of the 20th century, arrived at similar conclusions about the meaning of life through his study of mythology and religion. He said: “When people say they are looking for the meaning of life, what they are really looking for is a deep experience of it… You bring the meaning to it.” This is the realization that we have the power and the responsibility to discover and fulfill the unique meaning of our lives. “A deep experience” of life can only be achieved through active participation and complete dedication. As Frankl put it, the human being is not a “closed system”—the meaning is not isolated within the person, but is in the relationship of the person with the world. And so it is in chess—the purpose is achieved in the interaction between the two sides. You make a move and the world responds, acknowledging that you are connected, that you are a part of this big give-and-take, that you are responsible and what you do matters.
Being and Doing
The King does not do much—it only moves one square at a time and is particularly vulnerable to be attacked. The other pieces are obliged to coordinate the King’s security. Here a question can be posed about the discrepancy between the King’s value and the King’s abilities: If the King can not do much, where does its value come from? Most people will have a difficult time with this question and often interesting discussions ensue. Here the old philosophical theme of “being and doing” can be brought up—the King’s value comes from its BEING and not from its DOING.
We live in a world where the focus is so much on doing such as performance at school, at work, achievements, material success, that we tend to ignore the very being of our lives and the world. Being is such a mystery that when one puts a lot of thought into it, the sense of wonder only increases. Albert Einstein has said: “The eternal mystery of the world is its comprehensibility.” Mystery reveals itself…and the paradox that it is not less mysterious for the revealing. However, in a world where the concept of being tends to be ignored, kids and adults alike can say very little about the mystery of being. The King expresses the reality that being is primary while doing is secondary. There is no doing without being.
Who am I? What is this world around me? What do I stand for? What is worthy of my attention, time and effort? Those are questions associated with being and meaning. When a kid is exposed to the topic of being and invited to share their point of view, you may be pleasantly surprised by their refreshing perspective. A client once told me that his awareness of being helped him resolve a religious question that had been on his mind: If God created everything then who created God? Since being is primary and doing secondary, it became easy for him to dismiss the question of “who created God” as a doing type of question and it did not interfere with his faith anymore.
In my discussions with kids, I explain that being is continuous, while doing has a beginning and an end. I compare being to silence and doing to the words we say. Just like silence holds our words and is often taken for granted, so does being “hold” our doing, and we take being for granted. Another parallel, used traditionally to describe the relationship between being and doing is the grinding stone—it is made up of a central pole, which is still and immobile and around which the stone turns. The invitation is to find that still place within yourself, and direct your actions from that point of view. If we are more aware of our being and place it on the “throne” of our value system, then our doing would be more meaningful, purposeful, and effective. The processes of identity formation and moral development become more conscious and intentional with being in mind.
When we embrace the mystery of being, we “feel” the flow of life and acquire “a perspective of abundance”, as Wayne Dyer calls it, giving up the commonly held “perspective of scarcity.” Generous actions then follow from such a perspective. The “perspective of scarcity” allows fear to influence the decision making process and often leads to excesses in prosperity and austerity alike, preventing optimal enjoyment of good times and effective problem-solving during crises. Viktor Frankl tells how the horrors of the death camps would push people to try to make “the present …less real” by focusing more on the past; he warned against it for in doing so, they overlooked real opportunities to improve their lot and derive meaning from their day-to-day existence, without which hopelessness and suicide would follow.
When discussing the topic of substance abuse with kids, I explain that doing drugs in order to be high and happy means that people try to support being by doing. However, being is “bigger” than doing. I validate that people who use substances know on some level that they need to take care of their being but they have the order reversed because doing can never support being simply because the “smaller” thing can never support the “bigger” thing. It is as absurd as trying to support silence by increasing the noise. The right order of things is that being supports doing and doing needs to serve being. In chess, without the King, the other pieces would all be “dead”, so their existence is supported by the King, but they need to serve the King with their capacity for action in order to have a good game.
Every action needs to be taken with the intention to serve rather than undermine being. This is an invitation to walk the talk—“let the beauty you love be what you do” advises the great poet and spiritual teacher Rumi. In this sense the King also symbolizes our conscience. Viktor Frankl explains that when the person’s primary motivation to discover and fulfill the meaning of his life is frustrated, then he turns to secondary consolations such as pleasure-seeking (Freudian psychology) as expressed by substance use and/or lack of sexual responsibility, or power-seeking (Adlerian psychology) as expressed by the obsession with money.
I should make the point here that some kids often want to jump quickly to conclusions about being since they are not so comfortable processing abstract material and developmentally they are more prepared for concrete ideas. In one sense, chess helps concretize those abstract ideas, but we should be careful to prevent kids from jumping to the wrong conclusions. As an example, I had a situation in which I was explaining the ideas of being and doing to a client in juvenile detention and he responded confidently: “I get it—just be who you are”, as though he was trying to justify his own anti-social behaviors through the concept of being. He had adopted a criminal identity and his perceptions lead him to conclusions that would further confirm such identity. Here the Native American story “Two Wolves” came to mind:
An old Cherokee chief is teaching his grandson about life:
"A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy. "It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.
"One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt, and ego.
"The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.
"This same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"
The old chief simply replied, "The one you feed."
This is a story of becoming. Being is independent of our choices and actions—it just is, in its mysterious way, and we are privileged to temporarily be its “guests”. What kind of “guests” do we want to be? We are being nourished and supported by Being and our attitudes are channeling the nourishment to one or the other “wolf”, to actions that serve to affirm Being, showing gratitude and respect, or to actions that are short-sighted and self-defeating, showing lack of awareness and guidance.
More will be said about becoming when we discuss the Pawn later, but a few things need to be mentioned here too. The process of becoming involves learning, in which innate qualities such as intelligence and memory are called forth, engaged on their developmental level, refined, and instructed into “the common knowledge” of the species. In a way, learning can be roughly viewed as an intentional interaction between biological and environmental factors, between “nature and nurture”, whose purpose is preparation for optimal existence. In the case of human beings, the process of basic learning and development between birth and adulthood takes about 18 years currently—longer than in previous historical periods and much longer than required for any animal.
A great part of the animal’s preparation has to do with instinct, while the human preparation demands much more instruction. Put in another way, the “nurture” proportion is much greater in humans in the formula of “nature-nurture” interaction as evidenced by the ever-growing need for “nurture.” In this vein the old Chinese proverb comes to mind: There are no bad students, only bad teachers. This proverb appreciates the importance of significant people in a young person’s life, starting with parents and care-givers. It is important to note, however, that each individual interprets what they learn in their own unique way, and therefore the ultimate responsibility for what a person becomes lies with the person.
Viktor Frankl reminds us that we do not simply exist, but decide what our existence will be and every second we make a choice as to what we become in the next moment. This is the human element that defies any predictions and projections and is only the domain of the individual. No statistical method can capture the human element. It is the source of spontaneity and hope for humanity because it has the potential to rise above the limitations of inadequate teachers and role models.
