Kristen Kalp's Blog, page 2

The Erin Clarke Poetry Hour

Strap in, ’cause you’re about to discover the greatest poet you’ve never heard of — and it’s my great pleasure to introduce you to Erin Clarke!

I play Krista Tippett and ask questions, solicit readings of my favorite poems. Erin shows up and shines.

Tune in to The Erin Clarke Poetry Hour for this episode of That’s What She Said.

Love Erin (and of course you do…)? Here’s how to find more of her on the interwebs:

Check out her website
or pick up her book
or become Erin’s Patron now.

What’s that, you want the scoop without listening? Here’s one of my favorite of Erin’s poems from her latest book, (Im)Perfect Blooms.

Do Nothing

Do nothing like a lion
napping in the shade,
waiting for the heavy sun
to drag across the sky,
for the heat to abate
into cool sweet darkness.

Do nothing like a bird singing
in no particular direction,
taking off in an eye-blink
to another branch
without warning or reason.

Do nothing like a baby hippo
cradled in the river,
doing a slow-motion moon-bounce
as its stamping feet
prance on the rocky bottom.

Do nothing like a rabbit,
back feet splayed out in
relaxation, munching on
a casual dandelion
under the covered comfort
of a blackberry bush.

Do nothing because
it is yours to do, always,
for this earth has fruit and shade
and water and it is never
had to be this hard.

Be wild and rest.
It is your birthright.

P.S. You can find my published poems here if you’re in the poetry mood…

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UnGoodGirl: Money Skills and Feels

Much of my work this year is in continuing to UnGoodGirl myself — and then translating that transformation to all my peeps.

Listen to this That’s What She Said podcast episode if you’re ready to dive in to ways you can begin freeing yourself from money bullshit, starting right now.

We begin the UnGoodGirl podcast series with two money truths:

1. Part of good girl conditioning requires you to say “I’m not good with money,” whether that’s true or not.

I have watched women who have paid for a house with cash or received $250k grants from NASA or gotten a full-ride scholarship to their college of choice or earned six (or 7!) figures last year say THEY ARE NOT GOOD WITH MONEY.

Consider that ‘I’m not good with money’ is a default that’s installed by good girl conditioning, not AN ACTUAL TRUTH.

2. The default money feelings available to women are shame — WHY AM I SO BAD AT MONEY / FAILING WITH MONEY / SO FAR BEHIND — or guilt — WHY DO I HAVE MONEY AND OTHERS DON’T / WHAT DOES HAVING MONEY SAY ABOUT ME / AM I SECRETLY A MONSTER FOR HAVING X AMOUNT OF MONEY.

Consider that you deserve to enjoy the money you have, or to not beat the everloving shit out of yourself if your money levels aren’t where you’d like them to be.  Neither guilt nor shame will help you face, enjoy, or grow your money. 😉

P.S. Money is your friend.

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The Good, The Bad, and the Binary

In this episode of That’s What She Said, we’ll talk about The Good, The Bad, and the Binary.  I’ll walk you through the ways the concepts of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ fail women in particular, due to our good girl conditioning.

Spoiler Alert: the difference between a ‘bad’ girl and true evil is A SPECTRUM SO BIG THAT IT TAKES ABOUT 20 MINUTES TO DEMONSTRATE USING VIVID EXAMPLES FROM MY LIVED EXPERIENCE AS A BUSINESS COACH.

You’ll hear the results of THREE YEARS’ worth of wrestling with these concepts come together in one 41-minute podcast episode. 👇🏻

P.S. If you’ve ever had your brain tell you that you should be further along by now, listen to this.

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Bruce Report #2 // PURE JOY SPAM, BABY!

2023 has gone from zero stars to a full TWO stars! ⭐️⭐️

And you can blame Bruce Springsteen.

In breezy, professional speak:

A new Bruce Report episode of That’s What She Said is up, and it’s all about my encounter with The Boss, remembering what giddy feels like, and how deeply vulnerable it is to share sheer joy.

In how-I-actually-feel speak:

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN AND I HAD A MOMENT AND IT LOOKED LIKE THIS

AND FELT LIKE THIS

AND I AM STILL SMILING FROM THIS FACE (NOPE I didn’t have a camera and YUP he’s holding my gaze and YUP the anonymous Bruce fan who sent me this is AMAZING)

AND HERE IS THE NEW BRUCE REPORT.

💥 If you’re like, WAIT WHO CARES ABOUT YOUR SEEING SPRINGSTEEN?

I decided to make 2023 about as much joy as I possibly could when I found out my mom was dying. Then she died (fully story here, poems about it here), and dad got cancer, and then he had surgery and he’s okay(!!!).

I’m seeing Bruce on tour 6x this year to balance my pain and joy scales, because the past six months have been WOW PAIN. Bruce Report #1 is here.

IN MATTERS OF ADDITIONAL JOY: 👇🏻

Bubs is obsessed with bubbles. 🐶

Hugs,

K

P.S. This is LAST CALL for the Dublin Imaginarium!

Join me for a few days of re-imagining your life from the ground up, starting with every area of life where you say you’re ‘fine’ but actually, you’re breathing fire and your family members are low key surprised that you haven’t burned the house down with your dragon rage. 😉

Details here .

Buy a workshop seat here.

All Bruce media bits were given to me by a random fan whose name I don’t know but who was sweet, kind, and delightful enough to send these along! Thank you, guy!

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Love Letter for Amy // 3 poems about grief

Good Girl Grief

Experts have told you all about the stages of grief.

You thought you were prepared for the rage,
and still you are surprised
to wake with fire streaming from your skin:
all this anger with nowhere to go.

Tamp down the flames.
Hide the smoldering.

You may not shout at anyone —
this isn’t a school board meeting
about banned books.

You may not shout into the ether, either.
Pretending to be fine is our ultimate pastime.

Don’t seethe, it puts people off.

Don’t just stand there,
it reminds people of what you’ve lost.

Pretend you do not want to scream.

Better yet: pretend you do not want.

…

Perfect.

Listen in to this episode of That’s What She Said as I share 3 poems about the grief of losing my mom.  This one is for Amy, whose final request as a coaching client was to, quite simply, keep talking.  

P.S. More of my poems here, pick up my book of poetry here.

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Love Letter for Amy // 3 poems abouty grief

Good Girl Grief

Experts have told you all about the stages of grief.

You thought you were prepared for the rage,
and still you are surprised
to wake with fire streaming from your skin:
all this anger with nowhere to go.

Tamp down the flames.
Hide the smoldering.

You may not shout at anyone —
this isn’t a school board meeting
about banned books.

You may not shout into the ether, either.
Pretending to be fine is our ultimate pastime.

Don’t seethe, it puts people off.

Don’t just stand there,
it reminds people of what you’ve lost.

Pretend you do not want to scream.

Better yet: pretend you do not want.

…

Perfect.

Listen in to this episode of That’s What She Said as I share 3 poems about the grief of losing my mom.  This one is for Amy, whose final request as a coaching client was to, quite simply, keep talking.  

P.S. More of my poems here, pick up my book of poetry here.

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I should be further along by now.

Let’s talk about what holds us back at the deepest levels in business on a daily basis: our own minds.

We need to be able to meet the present moment fully, without our asshole brains continuously telling us how far behind we are.  That’s why “I should be further along by now” is such a dangerous phrase.

“I should be further along by now” completely robs us of the nutrients of Now, since ‘further along’ is 100% future-focused.

“I should be further along by now” also forces us to focus on our perceived ‘failings.’

No matter WHAT we accomplished today, our asshole brains can ALWAYS beat us up with how much further along a completely imagined path we ‘should’ be by now.

Just won a Pulitzer? WHY ISN’T THIS YOUR THIRD.

Just signed a $$$$ client?  SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DO THAT SIX MONTHS AGO.

Just filed hellish paperwork?  SHOULD HAVE HAD THAT DONE IN 2019.

In this episode of That’s What She Said, I’ll walk you through the MANY MANY HUNDREDS of times I’ve encountered this phrase and how to counteract it internally.

Let’s stop this phrase from rolling around your brain and sabotaging your work.

Tune in as I share the places where I’ve seen this phrase, ways I’ve combated this phrase within myself over the years, AND where it still trips me up. 👇🏻

P.S. Asshole brain is a term I made up to talk about allllllllll the ways your own thoughts mess with you *in ways that no one else can see.*

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The Bruce Report (1/6)

Because of all that’s going on in my life at the moment (catch up on my life circumstances here), I’m deeply committed to nourishing joy and delight in 2023 — not because it’s cute or nice, but because it’s vital to the survival of my soul.

In Bruce Report #1 of 6 in 2023, I walk you through the magic of seeing Bruce Springsteen in concert to a sold-out crowd. You don’t have to like him or his music in order to enjoy what he’s teaching me and what I observe when I’m part of a sold-out arena crowd.

P.S. Here’s where you can catch up on every episode of That’s What She Said!

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The Big Update 😬

I want to fill you in on what’s happening in my life, AND I want to give you fair warning: it’s a LOT.

Since the last time I’ve written, I laid my mom to rest and my dad has been diagnosed with the same cancer that my mom just died from.

You aren’t required to know what to say to these circumstances, because WHAT DO YOU EVEN SAY TO THAT? I don’t know what to say to it, and I’M LIVING IT.

While I don’t know exactly what this year’s work will look like because I’ve been thrown into Grief and Cancer Navigation Mode, I *do* want to keep talking to you.

We are trained to go quiet with grief, to go to our therapists with grief, and to move on quickly from grief. I intend to be loud and tell everyone and take as long as it takes. 😉

PODCAST EPISODES CREATED WHILE RIDING THE WAVES OF WHATEVER MY LIFE IS RN:

👉🏻 In ‘Internals and putting mom in the ground,’ I talk about why the day I laid my Mom to rest was NOT as difficult as ANY day of my late twenties. (I swear to you, it’s true, and I’ll tell you why when you listen.)

👉🏻 In ‘Doom and Gloom,’ I tell a story about my Dad that both makes me laugh and shows you exactly where I deeply censor myself in my work. (As always, I’m sharing because the odds of you censoring yourself in the same place are quite high.)

WHAT YOU CAN DO RIGHT NOW:

First: you don’t have to know what to say. Permission to not have a clue, granted.

Second: snail mail always, always helps. Just shoot me an email and I’ll send you my snail mail address.

Letters, cards, artworks by small children or pets, letters, magazine clippings, pieces of art, and general nonsense are deeply welcome.

If you wanna go next level, here is a list of things you can send me that will delight me at the moment.

Some are quite small and frivolous, some are enormous. Some are just Doordash to get through this time. I’ve included the full range so that you can see what making an effort to delineate my desires looks like, even from a space of pain. Perhaps it can inspire you to share your desires with others when you find yourself in a season of merde.

Finally: I love you, please don’t send platitudes.

So long as you’re not sending me the ol’ ‘everything happens for a reason’ or other vague lines to explain away my feelings of loss, you’re giving me space to grieve. I appreciate that so very much.

Thanks for reading, for listening, and for being one of my peeps. I treasure your presence in my life more than you could possibly know at this moment.

Hugs,
K

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Places the patriarchy is still strong within me (and probably you too, dammit)

When I sent a list of possible podcast topics to my peeps, this is what you all chose: Places The Patriarchy Is Still Strong Within Me (and probably you too, dammit)!

In this episode of That’s What She Said, I’ll walk you through many of the places I’m actively working to extract patriarchal conditioning from my being.

This podcast episode is a walk through trust and vulnerability.  It’s a revealing of the places where I’m actively working, not of places I’ve 100% mastered.  It’s a reckoning with the fact that unlearning is a process, not a destination, as well as an active celebration of all the places where I’ve gained ground, claimed victory, and kicked ass.

Spoiler alert, the 7 areas I’m working to clear are my inner voice, spoken voice, body, apologies, asking, imagination, and witch wound.  (You’ll have to listen for all the details!)

I hope that listening to it leaves you feeling more hopeful, more connected, and less alone than when you started.

This is less How to Fix/Solve X — and more a journey through the places where what we think is OUR PROBLEM ALONE is actually A MASSIVE SOCIETAL PROBLEM WITH NO CLEAR SOLUTION. 😉

P.S. My Receive breathwork class is an ideal place to start reclaiming your body, breath, and the critical feeling of your own worthiness to receive.

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