Alex G. Zarate's Blog, page 10

Resolutions

Like so many others, I am starting this year as the beginning of a new journey. A new adventure kicked off with the sky lighting up and the world joining in our celebration. After twelve months of struggles and hardships, the conclusion of 2014 brings the promise of a fresh beginning and a new tale to tell.

Also, the hope that it will be better.

The new journey undertaken includes a resolution to make a greater impact by year’s end. Moving to a new home was only the beginning. Getting a new job was just another puzzle piece. Even buying a new car is just a fragment of the journey which stretches out before me like a trek across the stars.

Like everyone else, I have twelve months to take under my wing. Each month will present me with new people to meet, new challenges to face and new stories to discover. Along the way, I look forward to discovering the fun times, the laughter and the comradery. I will also brace myself for the hard times to come and try to weather the storms of change that strike when I’m not looking.

Yes, hard time will hit. They always do. With luck, I will not only make it through the storm, but also find a means of helping others through their own difficulties. After all, helping others is a part of life. At the hardest times of my own life, a helping hand has always been the greatest of gifts.

I would love to look back on this coming year as the one where I was able to be a helping hand for others, finding the calm skies at the end of the path with a smile on my face and a song in my heart.

Whether it is with a helping hand or a shoulder to lean on, may we all resolve to be a hero for this new year. I’ll see you at the finish line.

Critiquing

One thing that writers face on a regular basis is criticism for their works. Some of us need it and some need it a lot more. This goes to both good and bad. Good writing needs good criticism to keep it up to par. It is always appreciated, even though some writers don’t always say so. We are our own worst critics, so when someone says that the chapter we wrote doesn’t work; it isn’t much of a surprise. We know it doesn’t work or we suspect it. Telling us is confirmation that allows us to go back and fix what was missed, or if already published, a good lookout for the next book.

For those of you writing a comment or critique, don’t take issue if the author doesn’t appreciate the feedback. Some of us are thin skinned and often want to write well, but don’t yet have the discipline to continue when others are being critical of our works. I was once in this position and ended up giving up my writing passion for years. (More than a decade) If not for a challenge I discovered when nearing my fortieth b-day, I likely would have continued to steer clear of writing.

Thankfully, I didn’t avoid my passion and now can continue weathering the storm of daily life with the joy of my dreams.

When receiving a critique, I appreciate all comments, good and bad. The good will always be appreciated as it tells me the story has provided enjoyment to those who read it. The bad is also worth having simply because I don’t see what you do. If a typo sneaks in, I might have stared at it for a hundred pass-overs and missed it because it was so obvious. I am thankful every time someone sees this and helps me to be a better writer. When someone points out what they didn’t like about my story, I hope that it isn’t just a general dislike. If you don’t like the kind of stories you are reading, then criticizing them makes no sense. Find what you like and help the writers you read get better. Don’t waste time disliking a genre, book or author just because they don’t write what you prefer. Move along and add to your likes. In the end, it is better for us all.

The best critiques make it clear that the reader wanted to like the story. If there was some element missing, then I for one want to know. By the time I publish, I’ve gone through my story hundreds of times and re-edited so many times, I don’t see the words anymore. I begin a paragraph and my mind is in the story. I see what I want you to see, but not always what is there.

That’s why the comments I get feel like readers tossing me nuggets of gold. Yes, they sometimes hurt. (Especially when you use a slingshot for the delivery) but I need them. They help me craft a better tale and help provide you with stories you can share.

In the end, that’s what every creative outlet is for: To share these dreams with the world and make it a little more enjoyable for us all.

Ground Zero

It’s interesting to think about how the paths we follow in our lives lead us to different points which can easily be compared with the aftermath of some devastating explosion. When we experience the death of a loved one, the life we knew while they lived is destroyed before our eyes. The shards of what was once familiar can only be seen through the veil of loss and reluctantly… we move on.  We soon find ourselves hoping that someday the devastation will be so far behind us that we can feel the loss with better understanding and renewed hope.

The same can be said when we find our view of the world altered by new life or a new perspective. Seeing your child for the first time will also place you in ground zero.  Before you are a parent, you are single person who may be part of a larger family or part of a marriage, but when you have a child, you are no longer a single part of anything. You are a parent. The responsibility for another that looks to you as the protector and provider takes hold like nothing else and changes the world forever.

Some people call these moments epiphanies of life and some call them paradigm shifts. I always think of them as explosions. The life that existed before these moments took place can only exists in our memories, and in our hearts. You will never again spend time with the one who you have lost, but you will forever hold them in your heart and mind because they continue to mean so much even after departing.  Similarly, you will never again see the world as someone who did not have a child after you have one. That persona is gone and who you are from that moment on will always be someone else.

These events that take place in our lives may seem great or small to the rest of the world, but inside of us, they are world breakers. Your first love, your first job, your first paycheck, your first betrayal, your first great accomplishment…

In time, each of us find our lives starting over again and again. We laugh, we cry and we continue… For in the end, these moments are what makes life such a tragic, adventurous, terrifyingly wonderful miracle.

Choices

Trials will come to us all and none may be excluded. Recently, I was made aware of the difficulty in dealing with situations which may be among the most common for those of us employed by less than honorable people.

A couple of weeks back, I was reprimanded for something that did not take place. In other words, I was lied about and instead of being asked if such a thing took place, I was reprimanded first. Later that week, I was again accused of something that was not true and found myself behind another closed door defending myself. When I finally departed from that job and moved on, I figured such things were behind me, but the day after I was gone, I returned for yet another reprimand. This one for keeping paper that I found in the garbage. True, I was guilty of this last offense, but couldn’t help but think of the responses I could have (should have?) mounted for such blatant harassment. Was it harassment or was it simply abuse of power by my supervisor intent on causing me difficulty?

Either way, it was petty and childish.

I could have gone to H.R. and provided the long list of attacks (Which go beyond those listed) presenting the incidents one by one and the immediate and harsh reactions done against me. I could have confronted my accuser and pointed out how small minded they are and how pointless their lives must be to find purpose in harassing an employee already walking out the door. I could have gone to every friend in the department and told them what was taking place, asking their advice as I ensured the department head and her eager minions were revealed for who and what they are.

I could have done all these things and more.

What did I do? Nothing. I decided to simply cut myself out of the situation and move on. I remembered an old saying about a pig which made me feel it was the right thing to do. The saying went something like: “If you try to wrestle with a pig, you both get covered in mud and in the end the pig will be the only one who enjoyed himself.”

I am endeavoring to start again with a new job, new challenges and, hopefully, new friends and co-workers. Had I “stirred the pot” my beginnings would be tarnished by the negativity of my prior supervisor. It is much better to do what I can to put the matter(s) behind me in order to move ahead.

Was it the right thing? I can’t say. Some people love the fray and take every slight as a challenge to be conquered. I may someday find myself unable to avoid such an altercation, but I would rather choose my battles. After all, in the end, I would like to have a clear conscience about what I say and do. This is especially true when pushed to the wall by those with smaller minds.