Liz Reinhardt's Blog, page 5

Deep, Dark Broadway Secrets Are Revealed!

Hey Friends!

I owe you all a numbers update...but, to tide you over while I diligently edit the followup to Double Clutch, I have another sappy story about love and Frank and weirdness at lovely Amanda's (of Letters Inside Out) blog.

Just to whet your appetite, let me give you a scenario. There are two young people madly in love. One works on cars, loves hard complaint rock and horror movies, particularly spoof horror and zombie, and spends hours browsing auto parts stores. The other is a studious art history major who delves into a BBC miniseries weekend with a pint of Ben and Jerry's and no logical way out except the one that's as long as it is delicious.



Here's a lovely picture showing the two young lovers' worlds colliding in mannered blood-lust!
One of the two has a birthday. One of the two buys a set of tickets for Broadway. One of the two is extremely excited. One is not so excited, but willing to fall on the sword for love. Both wind up happy and smooching (belated spoiler alert). Are you dying to know which is which?!

[image error]Okay, maybe not just like that, but it would be cool, right?!

And I have copious notes from my gleeful grammar ninja friends outlining every single minute mistake in my latest book. So, I'm off to roll up my sleeves and dig in! But numbers are coming soon! I swear! And in the meantime, please enjoy...

http://www.lettersinsideout.net/posts/guest-post-liz-reinhardt/

Why 'Hamburger Medium Well!' Makes My Heart Thud and My Palms Sweat

http://www.medeiasharif.com/2011/10/guest-post-double-clutch-author-liz.html

The awesome Medeia Sharif allowed me to descend on her usually sane blog with a certain tale of romance...

Blogger friends, you know I have bored you all to tears with stories of how my husband and I still manage to make each other craz(ily in love) after 11 long, arduous years together. But where did it all start, you might ask. What was the exact moment our eyes met?

Was it when he rode to my rescue when I ran with wild abandon down a treacherous English hillside and twisted my ankle?

Swoon!!
Um, no, that was Sense and Sensibility.

Was it through a fishtank at a fancy masquerade ball?

[image error]It all started out with such beautiful potential...sigh!
Um, no, that was Romeo and Juliet. 

Did I run into him at a quaint Parisian train station while he was mysteriously sweeping under a photo machine?



Why is she running away from him? How does she make the clunkiest shoes look so adorable? The mysteries of love!
Um, no, that was Amelie.


Let me give you a hint:


[image error]Romantic, no?
C'mon! Aren't you dying to read it now??


http://www.medeiasharif.com/2011/10/guest-post-double-clutch-author-liz.html

Come on over and find out!

Sixteen Candles and the Top 5 Songs That Got Me Through Double Clutch

My awesomely cool blogger buddy, Rockee, interviewed me and reminded me that my MC Brenna's b-day was October 11! How'd I miss my girl's b-day?!

[image error]I wish Brenna and the 16-year-old in every one of us a happy, happy birthday...and the hottest guy ever and a big cake ablaze with candles and the ability to rock a disaster of a bridesmaid dress because you are Molly Awesome Ringwald (and, yes, that IS her middle name) (as far as I'm concerned, anyway)!
Rockee's interview is amazing, by the way...this girl needs to go into journalism! She actually made me tell her which guy Brenna would let slip into the icy ocean, Titanic style! Hahaha! Please go check it out and read Rockee's reviews. Not only does she have awesome taste in books, she also makes amazing playlists to go with them!

In honor of Rockee's awesome interview and my procrastination, I'm going to list the top five songs that got me through Double Clutch for your (hopeful) enjoyment!



# 1 "Laundry Room" The Avett Brothers

Why? It's about a couple sneaking into the laundry room to make out like crazy, but quietly, so the girl's parents don't catch them. If you don't fall in love with this song, your heart may be a seething lump of black coal. I'm not judging you, I'm just saying.

Lyrical magic: "Last night I dreamt the whole night long. I woke with a head full of songs. I spent the whole day, I wrote them down, but it's a shame. Tonight I'll burn the lyrics, 'cause every chorus was your name.




# 2 "I Will Possess Your Heart" by Death Cab for Cutie

Why? I like the imperative tone in the title (and lyrics) and the easy-going/stalkerish quality of the song. Personally, I think that's what DCFC does best! It's a song about a guy who's really, really in love, and he knows exactly why, and he's willing to sing it to her like it is. I like that.

Lyrical Genius: "How I wish you could see the potential, the potential of you and me. It's like a book, elegantly bound, but in a language you can't read (just yet)."

How do they manage to mix creepy and elegant so perfectly?



# 3 "Bad Kids" by Black Lips

The song pretty much sums up Brenna's glimpse of the other side through Jake and Saxon. She's a sheltered kid, and they both do wild, stupid things (or did wild, stupid things). But there's something intriguing about them because of the bad. Sigh. The allure of the bad boy. (And, no, nothing they did was 'riot-gear' bad. This video is actually pretty serious and upsetting. But also true.)

Lyrical genius: "Smoke cigs (in the bathroom stall), spray paint (penis on the wall)." Is it crazy that both those things make me cringe?! So bad! But I love the ruthless nonchalance Black Lips use when singing about it!





# 4 "Everybody Got Their Something" by Nikka Costa

Why? This is the song that I wish was blaring out of my gnarly 6-disc CD player back when I was 16. You cannot listen to this song without a) dancing around the room, b) realizing you do 'got your something,' and c) picking up just a teeny bit of Ms. Costa's sexy swagger. Love this song!

Lyrical genius: "Taking off my glasses, sun pokes through my lashes, and, somehow, I know there's a time for every star to shine." Okay, what makes these lyrics SO incredible is how Nikka manages to stomp all potential cheesiness out and just make this a killer song.




# 5 "We Are Going to Be Friends" The White Stripes

Why? This song goes through my head every September (or August in south Georgia, since that's when school starts here), and I love the way it can make you feel nostalgia and anticipation. That's a weird mix to get just right. This song was on repeat when I wrote about Brenna's first day of school (her double first day of school!).

Lyrical genius:  "And we don't notice any time pass. And we don't notice anything. We sit side by side in every class. Teacher thinks that I sound funny, but she likes it when you sing." How freaking perfect is that? How amazingly simple, but observant, and funny without trying. Perfect.

So, what's on your top five book list? Oh, and seriously, see who Brenna kills off at Rockee's blog!

http://rockeemusikreads.blogspot.com/2011/10/double-clutch-interview-with-liz.html#more

Frugality Is So Lame! Or: What Will YOU Buy When You Find Your Pot'o'Gold?!

***If, after reading this, you feel the need to know MORE about me (like why I needed to smear my nose with Vaseline when I was 17), you can hop over to the very cool Jo Ramsey's blog and read a very weird interview!  http://www.joramsey.com/?p=917 ***
My husband and I have always been pretty frugal. Not by choice. Frugal is just a sophisticated synonym for poor, which is what we really are, but happily poor and kind of by choice, so no whining! We make ends meet on a fairly tight budget, and that means we sometimes eat a lot of Raman, I keep bottles of hotel shampoo for toiletry emergencies, and we have a lot of date nights that involve doing what we were always dying to do as teenagers...lie in bed together with no curfew and no one invading our privacy.

[image error]Yeah, we play a lot of Scrabble, too. Because it's cheap fun. But we don't spell things like 'frugal.'  We like to spell naughty things that make us giggle. Frugal and immature!

(Well, except our five year old, but she's exactly what two crazy kids wind up with when they get to lie in bed together with no curfew and on one invading their privacy. And we love her tickle fests and the great herd of stuffed unicorns that invades our bed with her on date night.)
You know unicorns are bad ass!
The other night we were discussing our fabulous September sales and imagining, with shiny, love-filled eyes, all the goodies that we would buy once we're rich, rich, rich!

Okay, I'm going to tell a heart-warming story about being happy with the little things and all that. But first, let's all admit that the only thing we've ever really wanted to do with any potential fortune is trade it in for gold coins, fill a vault to the brim and swim in it like Scrooge McDuck! Ducktales played a huge part in my understanding of finance as a child. I assumed all bank vaults looked like this ^.

"What would be the first thing you'd buy?" Frank asks, snuggling me closer than normal now that I may hold the key to all of his future monetary happiness.
"I would buy..." So many delicious, wonderful, lovely items danced in my head, I could hardly decide. "I would buy new throw pillows for the couch! And they wouldn't smell like dog. And I'd buy them all at once, so they actually matched, and we'd be able to afford more than two at time!" I sighed. Affording more than two $25 throw pillows? We'd practically be ready for our first MTV Cribs appearance.
"Ooh. Could we get that green color like that girl who we wanted to win did on that design show marathon we watched last Friday?" He half sat up, his eyes gleaming, and I considered how several consecutive hours of nonstop HGTV could turn even the most apathetic man into a home design connoisseur.
"That was a good date night," I reminisced. "Definitely green throw pillows. What would you want?"
Throw pillow minimalism? Or the inability to purchase more than one outrageously priced throw pillow at a time?
Frank tilted his head thoughtfully. "Those pans that go under the heat coils on the stovetop."
Since I don't often venture near the stove, it took me a minute to conjure an image of them in my mind. "Oh. Why?"
"You know how the house always smells like it's burning down when we turn on the stove?" 
"Isn't that because I'm cooking, hence the house actually is in danger of burning down?" I point out.
"That, too. But it's also because of all the meals you've already attempted to cook that bubbled over the pan or spilled under the coils. And now they're all carbon based, and they smolder whenever the stove gets hot." He gave me a scientific frown. I ignored him.
Upon googling "crusty burner pans," I came across this amazing site that said how to do a little ammonia based science experiment and get them amazingly clean! So we may ix-nay the entire 'buy new' plan and go the dangerous home science route! Wish me luck! (I got a D in high school chem...)
"I would totally get a new pair of corduroys." My trusty green pair had two butt-area holes that were beginning to show an alarming amount of faded cotton underwear, all of the belt loops were hanging off, and the pocket area was, inexplicably, two shades darker than the rest of the material.
"I thought you liked your old ones. I thought you were excited because they were the ones you had in high school and they still fit." Frank could not grasp the idea of desiring a new pair of pants when a disgustingly old pair were still held together at the very weak seams.
"Um, it's cool they still fit," I said with a blush. Okay, this is just a tiny baby lie. They do still fit. Because corduroy is lovely and stretches and they're low cut, so any extra belly bulge just kind of hangs out above the 'waist.' "But I think a new pair would be awesome."
Almost exactly what mine look like! And considering how unflattering they are on this very lovely, toned model body, maybe I should consider squeezing into another pair? This picture is from a site that offers an explanation about how to make your corduroy pants into a nice skirt. But that doesn't sound nearly as fun as ammonia bombing my burner pans. Plus, the only thing that would make these pants MORE unflattering would be turning them into a homemade skirt.
"Oh!" Frank bolted up, inspired. "I know!"
"What?" Throw pillows, stove pan thingies, new corduroys...what else on earth could two sane people want?
"Bikes!"
"Like motorcycles?" I imagined a gleaming new Harley.
"Uh, no. I don't want you to die. Bikes, like that you pedal." He grinned.
"Why bikes?" I asked.
"Haven't you wanted one?" he asked. I nodded. Because, seriously, who doesn't want a bike? "And  I bet you would look so funny riding a bike."
Then he got out of bed and pretended to be me riding a bike. Which looked suspiciously like a pantomime of a blind monkey riding a unicycle, but wound up making me laugh because, in his cruel attempt to mock me, he stubbed his big fat toe. Hard.
This is NOT what I look like when I ride a bike. I look like  one of those awesome French girls who ride those cute bikes and their hair blows in exactly the right direction and their skirts don't reveal their old, cotton underwear for the world to see, and they carry a baguette and bottle of wine in their basket and look sexy. Very sexy. If you disagree, may God smite your toe. Hard.
I put my arms around him while he whined about his toe. "That's God punishing you for making fun of me. And, you know, I'm the one who will make all the dough. Shouldn't you be sucking up?"
"I'm here to keep you down to earth." 
So we spent the rest of our date-night lying in bed imagining other riches...a nose hair trimmer (for him, not me, I swear!), those energy saver lightbulbs that are really expensive but very eco-responsible and help pay down your bills, dining room chairs that don't feel like they were designed by medieval torturers, maybe a tent. 
"The things we want are pretty lame," Frank finally admitted.
"They're not lame!" I said, and mentally replayed our list. "Okay, yeah, they're lame. So what would be cooler?"
"I don't know. A new car. A Challenger. Orange."
"Seriously? An orange car?" His eyes looked so sweet and pleady, I shrugged. "Alright. Done."
Okay, okay, it is pretty sexy! But, seriously, I never would have pegged my husband as an orange car kinda guy!
"And the house. Paid off." 
"How is that less lame?" I asked. "It's still, basically a houseware. Just, you know, the biggest one."
"Cause we could spend the money from the mortgage on other stuff!"
"Like?"
"We could go out west. See the redwoods." 
I had this image of Frank, Amelia, and I in a redwood forest and almost passed out from excitement. 
Just me and my fam...and maybe Darby O'Gill and some little people and a few Ewoks. You were thinking it, too, weren't you?
"Oooh. We could go to Italy and see the Sistene Chapel." I fanned myself.
"I could go to one of those glass blowing camps."
"You want to do glass blowing?" I asked, but his shiny eyes spoke for  him. Done! "We could get the baby horse riding lessons."
"You could go to yoga like in a lame class with other lame people who like yoga," he suggested helpfully.
"Those classes aren't lame!" I imagined contorting on a mat in front of a whole group of other contorting people. Are those classes lame? 
Yes, I realize they are kind of lame. Like most of the things on this list. But, like the other list items, they're also all doable/obtainable (okay, not necessarily the house and the car...but they're long-term-goal doable), and I really like finite, doable goals. I like having concrete things to work for that are total happiness bringers! And I think the reason so many of our to-do list items had to do with our house and family has to do with how much we like hanging out together. Which is another thing to be happy about.
So I've shared my family list of totally bizarre stuff we would buy if money came pouring (or at least flowing at something more than a soggy trickle) in. What would be on your list??

I Love the 80s!: Or September Book Stats REVEALED!

In the name of helping each other out and general nosiness, a lot of indie authors post their first month numbers and stats. I know there are other people out there wondering what self-publishing looks like, mathematically and all that, so I thought I'd join the club and write in with my stats for September!

I think I picked September because I didn't get to go back to school shopping this year, and there was a hole in my heart from it, and, to ease the pain, I plugged that hole up by putting a book out there. And the book starts in September! 
I put my book up on September 6, 2011.
This came up when I googled 'six' (yes, I am aware I am groping at straws here in the picture department!). They are six gnarly hats that boost your brain power, metaphorically. The upper right corner is, alas, not an invisible hat. It's just white and doesn't show up. I've linked to this fascinating page and will now put on my red hat (feelings and emotions) to better manage my giddiness over this post!

I will tell you every snore-inducing thing I did to promote and the numbers, because I was obsessed with knowing before I published, and others out there might have a similar compulsion for checking random stats!

I promoted it on my personal Facebook page to guilt all friends/family/frenemies into buying my book. My method is what I like to call 'cyber bludgeoning' or 'the posts don't stop until you buy.' And, though this is a YA geared at older teens, I was delighted when my former pastor and great-aunt bought copies! Read it, read it!

Who are these peeps? I don't know! But I'm off to friend them, so I can later guilt them into buying my book!I started an author page under Liz Reinhardt. It has 84 fans. (Again, most corralled from my personal page and badgered into becoming my 'fan.' Hahaha!)


I am naught but a floppy eared dog, and my fans are the wind beneath my ears!
I have this lovely, lovely blog! There are now 64 lovely, amazing followers reading my posts and leaving awesome comments (the blog is the most fun of my public arenas, natch!).

Pretty much what I look like while blogging.
I am on Twitter as @lizreinhardt. I have 27 followers and am an official Twitter moron.


[image error]This would NOT be me, because my phone is one of those super old 80s phones that has its own carrying case and a big antenna. But someday I'll have a cool new phone that I can not understand Twitter on!I am on Goodreads. I have 28 friends and 16 fans. Um, most of my fans are also friends! I like Goodreads as much as I like blogging. Oh, and Double Clutch has a 4.24 in the star category with 18 ratings and 9 reviews. 55 people have 'added' it.

Maybe it's Double Clutch? Who knows?!
I asked several bloggers for help getting the word out there, and boy did they help!!

I wasn't in THAT much trouble...but almost! And here they were, valiant, lovely, sweet rescuers!
8 blogs reviewed my books:
http://stillseekingallies.blogspot.com/
http://readingeatinganddreaming.blogspot.com/
http://missyreadsreviews.blogspot.com/
http://www.totalbookaholic.com/
http://www.fuzzycoffeebooks.com/
http://sizzlingreads.blogspot.com/
http://obsessionwithbooks.blogspot.com/
http://sarahcatchingbooks.blogspot.com/

I had 4 guest posts:
http://sarahcatchingbooks.blogspot.com/
http://www.totalbookaholic.com/
http://cristinadossantos.blogspot.com/
http://caryncaldwell.com/

I did 1 interview:
http://obsessionwithbooks.blogspot.com/

I have more blog reviews/guest posts/ blog tours lined up and keep asking. By the way, the reason I linked them all is not to shamelessly self-promote, but because, if you're thinking of self-publishing, these are amazing people who are open to indie reads, are honest, and adore books. What could be better?!

Okay, numbers time!

Kindle:
US - 50
UK - 1
(I did 'sell' more, but they were gifted to reviewers, and so I pulled them off of the official count.)

Nook:
21

Smashwords:
3

Createspace:
5

Could there BE a more awesome first month number? No, I don't think so either!That makes EXACTLY 80 books! Woohoo! I told myself I'd be happy if I sold 50 the first month. I've also read that September isn't a huge month for esales because people are done vacationing and loading their Kindles/Nooks/ereaders with awesome summer reads. The reason I chose to put Double Clutch out in September is because I'd like my next book to be out and talked about in November and have both ready for the holiday season, which I hear is a hot sale time. We'll see if my theory holds out.

If anyone out there has any advice or anything I missed, please let me know! And thank you all for being rad and commenting and following this weird blog! I really do appreciate it!

(And if October is even worse than September sales-wise, I'll hang my head and cry a little, but I promise I'll over-share, as I always do! I genuinely hope this post wasn't a bore fest, and you have any suggestions or questions, throw them out there. Not that I know what I'm doing, but I'm always happy to share/over-share. You know how I roll!)

Why Polyester Golf Pants Don't Really Flatter Anyone and Won't Make Your Crush Love You

I had this big, fat crush way back when I was in high school. He was kind of punk-rock, kind of artsy, quiet, tall...and I was at that point where I was sure if I could just get him to look my way, he'd realize how much I liked him and like me right back!

But it didn't happen that way.

If you'd like to read about fashion disasters from the 90s and how NOT to get your crush to love the way your butt looks in those pants, please hop over to Sarah's blog and check out my guest post! Also, you could win an ecopy of Double Clutch!

(And if you're thinking about buying a copy and just can't make up your mind, you might be swayed by Missy at http://missyreadsreviews.blogspot.com/ , Courtney at http://www.fuzzycoffeebooks.com/, or Shana at http://sizzlingreads.blogspot.com/. They wrote some nice stuff, but I swear, I didn't know what they would say until the blogs popped up this morning! They're brutally honest, and I chewed my fingernails waiting for their reviews to come in!)

Now for some awful fashion....

http://sarahcatchingbooks.blogspot.com/

Um, I was smart in high school, I swear I was! So why did I think these were so hot?

Senior Year: I Borrowed A French Horn; I Wanted A Blog

I remember being a senior in high school. I had so many interests! I had so many ideas! And there wasn't much of an outlet for them. Everyone I wanted to contact was so far away, like two day snail-mail and wait for a response far away. Everything I liked felt like something I had to wait for unless my parents were willing to help me get where I needed to go (and they were kinda like, 'Get on your bike, kid! We're not cabbies!'). The issue? No internet. No way to contact anyone outside my tiny circle of known people. No Google. No Facebook. No Skype. NO BLOGGER! 
[image error]This is me as a high school senior...a French horn was about all I had as far as technology went. What I wouldn't have done for an iPod...or a blog...or whatever I knew would have to replace the suckiness that was dial-up. Alas, none of these marvels had yet been invented! (Photo credit: Tamar Goetke)
I've had a few reviews come out for Double Clutch and they've been AMAZING! I've loved every nice thing every cool person took time out of their monstrously crazy days to say. 
But having a teen rate my book? 
Finding a teen who runs a full blown blog review site? 
Emailing back and forth with a teen who is passionate about books and sure about her own mind and incredibly smart and sassy?
I guess I feel like I channeled Brenna and had her read the book I wrote about her. 
So please meet Sarah, senior, teenager, blog reviewer extraordinaire, who gave Double Clutch a heart-stoppingly wonderful review! I'm so excited I can hardly stand it! And please check out her site and read her reviews and be amazed by all of her spunk and smarts and passion. I sure am! Colossal love to Sarah!!
http://sarahcatchingbooks.blogspot.com/
Yeah, I know. Adorable much?! And tech-savy, smart, fun, with her own blog...she has more than a borrowed French horn to help her cope with her need to be heard.

Commas SAVE LIVES! (And Make Your Party Waaay Cooler!)

If you know me at all, you know I LOVE punctuation! And grammar! And nerdiness! If you share these loves (c'mon, admit it, you know you do!), please visit my guest post at Once Upon A Time, where the lovely Cristina allowed me to spread my comma insanity all over her page! And leave a comment, even if you are one of those maniacs who doesn't love and worship the Oxford comma...though if you are insane like that take a look at the picture below and try to argue against it. I rest my case!

[image error]How can you argue logic like this?


http://cristinadossantos.blogspot.com/2011/09/lizs-road-to-publication-through-comma.html

Love Triangles, How Twilight WILL Make Your House a Sticky Mess, and An E-Book Giveaway!

Last week my awesome friend Caryn let me crash her site and guest post, and I was so glad, because she's very talented and cool and sane, and, well, she knows how I am! But everyone was so nice and comment-y, that I decided I'd ask a total stranger if I could guest post...and she said YES! Please stop by and check out my post on Jessica's blog Confessions of a Bookaholic. I'll be talking about how I let my house fall to pieces while I devoured Twilight and give my top love-triangle reading suggestions! And if you have an ereader, there's a giveaway! (She's also got awesome reviews and up-coming sneak peeks for all things YA...you'll love her site!)
Here's the link!
http://www.totalbookaholic.com/2011/09/guest-post-giveaway-double-clutch-by.html

If You Bash Sonny's Drive In, I Will Deck You, Jane Austen Fight Club Style

I have officially sold 50 books through Kindle and Nook! (Not counting the 5 books I bought from Kindle and gifted to interested reviewers.)

As my dad would say, "You made enough to buy us all pizza out!"
My dad has a big thing for pizza. And he admires success. My dad actually has a pretty cool story. Wanna hear?
I honestly wish we could all sit down and have a slice together!  Maybe one day I will be able to host a huge blog follower pizza party. That's a lot of books, but I'm hopeful!
My dad was born in Copenhagen, Denmark. When he was a kid, World War II hit (yeah, he's an old guy!), and Nazis occupied his country, which really pissed the Danes off. They hated that Hitler admired their Nordic heritage, being that he was such an insane, psychopathic asshole. They hated that their country's Jewish population was segregated because Danes are pretty nationalistic people, and they like to all celebrate being Danes. King Christian X, the monarch at the time, rode his horse through the streets of Copenhagen every day with a star of David on his coat to show his solidarity with his persecuted citizens. He shook my dad's hand once.
Doesn't he just look like The Man?! I have a history crush on KCX!
When World War II was over, my dad's family made good on a long-term plan to move to America. They were serious about being American, traded their Danish citizenship for American citizenship, and made this country their permanent, much loved home.
The weird thing is, my dad is more American than most Americans I know, despite being born and raised in Denmark. He's a go-getter, a pull-yourself-up-by-the-bootstraps kind of guy who dreams big and works his ass off. My dad just celebrated his 75th birthday, and we had to beg him to quit one of his two jobs. Crazy!
Not my dad and his parents! Based on headgear, I'd say they are Eastern Europeans...but the tone is what I'm going for. Holla America!
One of the coolest and most horrendous things my dad ever did was build this restaurant back when I was in high school.
My dad had put in 35 years at NBC as a light, camera, sound, and edits guy. He worked on SNL for years and rubbed shoulders with all the comedic greats. When he retired he wanted to slow down a little from those 70 or 80 hour work weeks that put braces on my teeth and sent me to Danish camp in Minnesota in the summer. So he decided to open a little place.
A hot dog cart, he said.
Tiny, he promised.
One man operation, he vowed.
Only it went a little out of control. It kept getting bigger and bigger until it became this:
[image error]It was once called Sonny's Drive In (my dad's name is Sonny). Even though it has a shiny new owner, there's still a feeling of dread when I see this place...like I have this horrible feeling that I'm on for back to back double shifts all weekend. Excuse me while I go throw up in an attempt to expel the memory.I know, I know, it looks cool! It does. And it was. Kind of.
Unless you were one of his children. Because then this nifty 50's drive-in burger joint became your own personal, never-ceasing hell. HELL!!
Owning a restaurant takes a certain savvy, a certain balance. My dad is not good at balance. He would have been an awesome meet and greet guy. You know, that schmoozy manager type who comes up just when you have a gigantic bite of steak in your mouth and pats you on the back until you think you  might choke and has a big, booming, bellowing laugh. The guy who makes every customer feel happy and showered with attention. The kind of guy who has no idea how to drop a basket of fries, organize a wait station chart, or run a credit card machine.
Um, also, there was a uniform. Yeah, it was a poodle skirt for inside waitresses, which I was. So imagine this cool lady, but smear some hot dog all the way sauce down her skirt and dip her snazzy scarf in chocolate malteds and make her at the prime of her teenage life and extremely pissed to have to waste it in her parents' restaurant night after long, grueling night and you have me as a waitress there!
We wound up living there. We wound up hating it from the depths of our souls. Many, many people in our little community had a lot to say about what a failure my dad was.
What a chump he was for opening such an enormous place.
What an idiot he was for not being able to get the food out on time.
What a jerk he was for building the entrance on the wrong side/ not hiring good enough wait staff/ having gross fries/ charging too much/ being generally incompetent.
I'm not saying there weren't kernels of truth in the whispers. I'm saying that he's my dad, and if you want to tell me about what a loser he is, get ready for me to rip you a new one. 
Go ahead, say something smart about my Dad and his crappy restaurant endeavors and I promise I will clock you upside the head, Jane Austen Fight Club style.
Because whether or not that restaurant was successful in traditional terms, my dad survived the Nazi occupation and a trip across the Atlantic, learned English, got a job at 13, put himself through school, got hired at one of the most prestigious television companies in America, worked his ass off for 35 years, retired with more invested money than most Americans will ever see, and followed a dream he always had.
Maybe he followed it to the point of insanity, but what had these critics done?
Most of the time it was nothing. Most of the time the jerks pointing at my dad and laughing hadn't, in their entire adult lives, acted with the integrity and courage my dad had as a child crossing the ocean to make a new life in a new country. They hadn't clawed and climbed like he did. They didn't know rejection and disappointment the way he did.
In the end, the restaurant stayed profitable (barely) for five years. We toughed out 9/11 and the economic downturn, endless road construction right in front of us, and community negativity that seemed to delight in any failure we weathered. My parents sold the restaurant and our house, pocketed a sizable lump and retired. (Well, kind of. Mom went back to school and Dad is still working like a maniac.)
[image error]Here he is on his 75th b-day (I know, seriously, he  is like a human fountain of youth) with my girl. On top of being an awesome go-getter, he's also an amazing grandpa!
Reviews have been coming in for my book, and they've been mostly amazing, but some have been a little harsh. I have a genuine appreciation for the reviewers' honesty. But I also have an appreciation for what I did. Not everyone is going to love Double Clutch, and that's okay. I put my book out there and knew it would get judged, and knew some of the judgment wouldn't be easy to take. 
But I have a long history of watching people claw and climb to get what they want, and the journey isn't always an easy one. So I'm ready, equipped with the entrepreneurial spirit my parents raised me with and ready to take whatever knocks come my way. And no matter how bad it gets, not matter what negative things might eventually come up, at least I don't depend on roller skating sixteen-year-olds to sell my books. That, my friends, is something to be happy about!
[image error]I know it looks fun...don't be tricked. It's awful, hellish, terrible work. Really! It is!
Okay, I have to gush and share two awesome reviews that came in for Double Clutch. I am so flattered by the reviews, because these two are amazing, spot on, awesome reviewers, and I'm not just saying that because they liked my book. If you just published YA and want a great review, check them out! 
Fred at Still Seeking Allies...  has a gorgeous, hilarious way with words that you will fall in love with (and please consider following his blog so you can read more of his reviews; they are WONDERFUL!!). Also, check out Reading, Eating, and Dreaming I was Blair Waldorf. She is DEAD ON in her reviews, and her best of lists are MUST READS!!