Sol Crafter's Blog, page 24

FAMILY GUY: Brian Griffin & Jillian Russel [If they were real people]

Okay, so Brian is a complete and total idiot.

*Jillian was wonderful.*

Sure, she wasn't the smartest of people, but she was warm and caring and really loved him. She seemed like she would be incredibly loyal too, so he would have never had to worry about her cheating on him. She also seemed to be in some way financially independent — she had money for nice clothes, her own apartment, etc. So she might have either had a stable job that paid her well, or some kind of family money. Any way you look at it, she was able to take care of herself and seemed really awesome.

Brian might not have been able to have intellectual conversations with her, but that's what he has Stewie for. He could have had Jillian for all the comforting relaxing things he's always trying to get from Lois (you know, like when he talked about her all sweetly when they went to get his award), then he's got Stewie for the witty conversation.

Brian is kind of a douche bag. I love him because he's a fluffy looking white dog, but if he were a real guy – I'm with Quagmire in thinking he's a pretentious dick head.

He went out of his way to make his relationship with Jillian not work. Then he spends the rest of forever whining about how he's so lonely.

I think the best thing for Jillian was breaking up with Brian. She was a very sweet girl and Brian was an asshole checking out other women and treating her like crap.

He ridiculed Jillian for her stupidity, then got so upset when his intelligence was questioned by [that girl from the "Hills"] (sic) that I was just like "Ha, in your face asshole!"

I just hate the thought that there are guys out there that treat real girls like that and think it's okay. Some guy has a really great girl, then starts shopping around and breaks up with her, then whines about it when her life turns out way better later.

It's like, dude: "Greener pastures don't always mean happier days." So quit your bitching and deal with the fact that you threw away the best thing you'll ever have and it's your own damn fault. I hate that kind of thing in bad romance movies, and I hate it even more in real life.

Sometimes you should just stick with what you have. Happiness is its own reward.

Filed under: Television Tagged: Family Guy, PB&J, Peebled, RL

Some chatter from my story "Tomahawk"

"Tomahawk" is my het novella-thing. Basically, two people meet online and find love. One is American, and one is British, so theirs is a long-distance affair.

Somehow, though, in my head I picture Toma as Arthur and Hawk as Eames when I'm writing their online chats. So confusing!

There's just something so awful about not being able to differentiate between real fic and fanfic. Lol.

Anyways, at some point I'm going to have to find someone that can speak "real" Britspeak to go over this story and point out all the weirdness. I'm just so completely American that it's not even funny. It's like being diagnosed with an inoperable tumor– "Oh no, I have an American! In my brain!"

HAWK: what u wearing?

TOMA: Anything u want, baby.

HAWK: okay, so a raincoat and wellies.

TOMA: Wellies? What's that?

HAWK: u know, rubber boots u wear in the rain

TOMA: Ah, sexy.

HAWK: well, u need to wear something, seeing as ur so wet.

TOMA: Rrowr

TOMA: What are U wearing?

HAWK: seeing as it's past two here, I'm in just my pants.

TOMA: And that's hot how? I'm wearing a tank top and boxer shorts, while ur fully dressed? How sexy can that be?

HAWK: no, love, pants is like ur American underpants.

TOMA: Ohhh. So why don't u touch yourself?

HAWK: I thought u were going to be the one doing the touching?

TOMA: Don't be a sexist tool.

TOMA: Now get ur hand in ur pants and start fondling.

TOMA: I wish I could see ur cock.

HAWK: it's gigantic!

TOMA: Heh.

Filed under: Journal, Upcoming Projects, Writing Tagged: het, novella, romance, Tomahawk

Info Dumpers Anonymous

So I've been writing, which is good. It's about the only thing I have been doing because I don't have much energy or interest in anything else. I even let my farm on Farmville get all withered, and you would have thought my OCD would have forced me to care for my crops at least.

My current priority projects:

THE BRAND — [Harper Kingsley] mm fantasy. This story has grown from "that harem thing" to something with a lot more court intrigue and assassination attempts. I'm very enthusiastic about it and I've been building a world that I hope other people will enjoy reading about as much as I've enjoyed writing it. [words: 100,000+]

FIENDS – [Sol Crafter] mm supernatural. Teablossom is a jerk, but I think he's becoming a creature with a little more depth than he started with. I'm still trying to see what kind of guy Henry is–though like a lot of my other characters he's somehow managed to become completely neurotic. [words: 30,000+]

VEDRAN'S HAND — [Harper Kingsley] mm fantasy. My weekly opus. The world of Dragon Knight has become a lot richer and fuller than I started with and the characters have gained more depth. Dragon Knight has also become a bit of a sociopath that only cares about Vedran and would kill anyone else that got in his way, but he's a hot sociopath, so that's something. [words: 100,000+]

What else is in my stew pot:

ALLIES & ENEMIES — [Harper Kingsley] The sequel to "Heroes & Villains." This should already be done, but it's been very painful for me to go back through and add to. I've killed so many people in this story that I have to worry it might be a bit too much. [words: 120,000+]

NYXTI – [Harper Kingsley] mm fantasy. So I promised Sam Argent a story, and that's pretty much this one. Set in the same world as "Vedran's Hand" and "Black Hood," but in a different decade. [words: 100,000+]

TUESDAY NIGHT — [Sol Crafter] mm superhero. AU of "Pulse of the City." Kind of a kid!fic, but really just two guys trying to make a life together. [words: 50,000+]

DOGGY STYLE –[Sol Crafter] mm supernatural. Zack gets turned into a dog, then has to figure out how to get back to being human. [words: 30,000]

ACROSS TWO DIVIDES — [Sol Crafter] So I'm this awful person that killed off this poor guy's brother, and now I've gotta get him past his grief to the point where he's not just a pile of misery.

Anyways, I've got a lot on my plate and I'm moving through it all at a steady pace.

If you're curious, this is how I write:

I come up with the initial idea. Which can basically be "two guys meet and fall into a relationship that has an HEA" or "a guy really wants to be a superhero, but it doesn't work out, so he becomes a pretty serious supervillain."
I expand on the idea in note form. Pages of description, things I think I might want to have take place, even background info that I might not use for that particular story but might use later.
I write a synopsis. A generalized sketch of what I want to have take place in the story. Beginning, middle, and end, though it's pretty sparse.
I write a serious outline that goes through the scenes one-by-one and includes all the dialogue. My outline could basically be seen as the entire story in compacted form.
Using my outline, I write out the scenes, filling in all the details and richer descriptions of people and scenery.

Sometimes I don't bother with steps 3, 4 and 5. If I feel like I know the story and the characters well-enough, I just come up with the world they live in and let them go about their business.

My daily quota: 12,000 words.

Filed under: Real Life, Upcoming Projects, What's up buttercup?, Writing Tagged: RL, writing

Ersatz, by Sol Crafter is the story of two slackers in love #SolCrafter

Okay, so "Ersatz" is now on Amazon and Smashwords. It's a $0.99 short story about two man-children that are asked about their ersatz homosexual relationship, which leaves them reeling.

Disregarding their ages, they really are man-children in that they spend all their time slacking around in their apartment playing video games and smoking pot. Their comfortable world gets rocked by a rude question and they respond in typical fashion–by running away from each other and acting like teenaged girls, neither one wanting to be the first to mention the dreaded "love" word.

Smashword

Amazon

BTW, when I picture Niedelmeyer hassling Charlie, this is the image that popped in my head:

He just seems like that kind of guy…

Filed under: Novellas, Self-Publishing Tagged: contemporary, Ersatz, mm romance, novella, self-published, Sol Crafter

EXCERPT: Altredes [science fiction] #LisaBailey

Title: Altredes

Author: Lisa Bailey

Genre: YA, sci-fi/fantasy

Summary: Sebastian Altredes is the heir of the powerful Altredes Family and has been ordered by his father to represent the Altredes in their alliance with the up and coming Mercana Family. Only the man the world knows as "Sebastian Altredes" is really Sabrina Altredes, a woman forced to take the place of her twin brother after he fled from his responsibilities.

Now Seb is dealing with the sharp-eyed head of the Mercana Family, Paul Anthony, and dodging assassins bullets with only her bodyguard Cisero to keep her alive.

** Yes, this is totally my riff on Shakespeare's "Twelfth Night" **

Looking to be available for purchase mid-spring/early-summer.

Read the excerpt:

~~0~~

Seb was feeling a bit sick. The air in the room was tense and somehow muggy from all the anger and mistrust stinking up the meeting.

The Altredes and the Mercana Families had never gotten along, both wutan groups going head to head for the same territory and trying to edge each other out in business deals. Only now they were trying to form an alliance, or at the very least stop actively working against each other.

This was a once in a lifetime meeting and there was no room for mistakes anywhere. Which only made the whole situation that much more tense.

"Would you like some more water, sir?"

Seb glanced at Young Jim. He looked so idealistic that it was faintly sickening. And also very flattering. "If you would."

He smiled and hurriedly reached for the water, filling a glass before carefully setting it down in front of Seb. "There you go, sir."

He was just so young and earnest that she wanted to pat him on the head. "Thank you."

Once he'd backed away, she turned her attention back to the argument taking place at the table. Her father's face was red with anger and aggression; she could see his hands fisting and unfisting just below the edge of the table. He wanted to take someone apart.

The head of the Mercana Family–Paul Anthony–was probably only a few years older than herself and looked incredibly bored as he lounged in his seat at the table. His bodyguards, on the other hand, watched everything with a nerve racking hyper sensitivity. It wouldn't take much for them to have their guns out, shooting anyone that moved.

At least she had Cisero at her shoulder. He was probably the fastest draw she'd ever come across and was frighteningly lethal. So if anything happened, there was a sure chance he would be able to get her and her father out alive.

Not that her father was currently worried about that. He looked like he wanted to leap across the table and throttle Paul Anthony.

It made her sigh quietly and jerk her chin up on her high, stiff collar. She favored a rather severe fashion style that left nearly every inch of her skin covered and gave her what she imagined was a rather dignified mien.

"How dare you suggest such a thing," her father's voice was a low rumble that hurt her ears to hear. She hated when he got angry because sometimes his temper got away from him and even though he was always apologetic afterward… she really hated getting knocked around.

"It's a perfectly logical suggestion," Paul Anthony said, his voice a cold tenor. He was perfectly serious, his eyes sharp behind the lenses of his glasses. "If we share the area, we both come out ahead and it will give us a chance to see if a partnership between our two Families would be worth our time."

Seb flicked her eyes to her father's face. She had to fight to keep from shifting away from him, his tight and angry expression setting off every alarm in her head. He looked like he was about to blow up at any moment and that was really something she didn't want to have to deal with.

"And you want my son in charge of our portion of the deal?" Rickman's hand was clenched so tight that it trembled on his knee.

Seb twitched to full attention, wondering how she had missed such pertinent information. Paul Anthony wanted her to be in charge of the Altredes part of their alliance? Why would he want her to do that?

She narrowed her eyes at him, trying to peer in through his skull.

She knew that she was incredibly focused and skilled at whatever task she was given. But she also knew that she was only twenty years old and there was no way anyone was just going to look at her and think that she was ready for anything as important as what he was proposing.

Which probably meant he wanted her to fail. Which put him firmly on her list of people to watch and be wary of.

"I have heard only good things of him, and since I have decided to handle our end ourselves…" Paul Anthony cocked his head. "You don't think he's ready for that amount of responsibility?"

"I never said that," Rickman said. "I am incredibly proud of my son and know that he would do nothing less than an excellent job. However, I cannot help the suspicion that you have an ulterior motive in wanting to choose him."

The edges of Paul Anthony's lips twitched up. "Your suspicious nature is somehow oddly delightful. I have no ulterior motive." He leaned forward with his elbows on the table, cupping his chin. "He is near to my own age and seeing our relative positions in our two Families, it's obvious that we're going to be working together far into the future. He is your heir after all, and at some point you will step down and he will be the one I am left partnered with."

Paul Anthony shrugged the shoulders of his expensive pinstriped suit. "Is it any wonder that I would like to start our relationship now?"

Rickman stared at him for a long moment, his expression harsh. Then he threw his head back with a boisterous laugh. "You're a bright spark, aren't you? All right, take my son. He will head up our part of our agreement and we'll share the 13th Territory."

Seb allowed herself to relax a little, though she still stared at Paul Anthony. She had to wonder what he was really thinking, what plan he had percolating in his brain and how he thought he was going to take advantage of her Family.

Everything that she'd heard about Paul Anthony said that he was a shark. Sure, he looked like an expensive lawyer or something, but he had a reputation for being an incredibly dangerous man.

Good with a gun, quick with a knife, and near deadly with his fists. He wasn't the kind of guy she relished the thought of going against. So if he wanted her to partner him in their deal, there was a more than good chance that he thought he could manipulate her into screwing up somehow.

There was no way she was going to let herself trust him at all.

* * *

When he was a teenager a bunch of kids at school had teamed together to label him a sociopath. He could have shrugged off the moniker; instead he embraced it as the basis for his new personality and life.

He didn't go out of his way to make random people miserable. He didn't kick orphans or drown kittens or anything. But he did look out for the interests of the Mercana Family above all else.

Which meant he had no problem with the idea of bringing the Altredes Family down a peg or two. They'd been in charge of their Territory for much too long.

Rickman Altredes was a tough old bird. He'd probably been raised as a child on whiskey and sour milk to make him as sharp as he was. He was not the kind of man anyone wanted to go against.

His son, on the other hand, was a completely different story.

From Paul's research, he'd found out that the kid had been sent off to boarding school with his sister when he was thirteen years old and that's where they'd stayed until they hit eighteen.

Rickman had always been the one to visit them. He'd kept them out of view of his own people and his adversaries alike. Which either showed a powerful protective impulse, or was the act of a man that wanted his kids out of his way more than anything.

Paul was actually kind of curious if Rickman really loved his kids all that much. It was just one of those little perking bits of interest that had him glancing at the kid from under his lashes.

Sebastian Altredes wasn't very tall and he was built lean and oddly breakable looking. He had a rather sharp, triangular shaped face with a nearly cute nose above too thin lips. His skin was papery and fair.

The kid wasn't what anyone would call handsome, but there was something incredibly interesting about his face. And when he glanced up and their eyes met… Paul was shocked by piercing green eyes.

Those eyes combined with the dark brown hair and the smooth fair skin sent a series of features that might otherwise be classified as "okay" right up into the arresting category.

Paul Anthony had planned to use this meeting to weigh and measure Rickman Altredes for the possibility of a future takeover. One glance at the fascinating Sebastian Altredes and he was suggesting an actual partnership.

There was just something about Sebastian Altredes that had caught his interest and he really wanted to find out what it was. And once his curiosity was satisfied, he could go back to his plans of taking over the Altredes Family's Territories and send them spiraling back down into obscurity.

A faintly predatory smile quirked his lips.

If there was one thing he thoroughly enjoyed, it was the idea of winning.

* * *

She could still feel her father's reluctance when she left to meet Paul Anthony alone for the first time. She could tell that he wanted to call her back, to maybe send her to the safety of her room.

Though he'd been the one to instigate the whole "Sebastian" ruse, there were still times when he wanted to treat her like his little princess. But there was no way she was going to let that happen.

He'd talked her into taking her brother's place, and there was no way she was going to let him change his mind now. Not when she was finally starting to enjoy her new identity.

She'd never realized before how differently men were treated than women. There was just more of a sense of power or something and she actually really liked it.

People took her more seriously as Sebastian than they ever had as Sabrina. People looked her in the eye and were more straightforward; all of the flattery and lies stripped away because they thought she would be more able to handle the truth or something.

Whatever the differences, she was really starting to enjoy being Sebastian. Plus, the clothes were actually pretty comfortable.

The fashion she had given herself as Sebastian was something she wouldn't have dared as shy Sabrina. She loved the bold, dark colors and the nearly militaristic folds of her jackets and coats. There was something oddly powerful about knotting her tie in the morning, girding herself in silk armor for war.

Even her father treated her differently. It was as though he sometimes forgot that she was "dear sweet Sabrina" and actually treated her as though she was a strong, independent person with a valuable opinion. It was a strangely heady sensation that she was reluctant to ever give it up.

So to have her father get so worked up at the idea of her partnering up with a rival turned ally, it probably should have really pissed her off. It was like this gigantic step backward with all the progress she'd made.

Instead she couldn't help the silly smile that wanted to quirk her lips. If there was ever a choice between laughing and crying, she would always be the one to pick laughter.

Her father's face was so red and worried looking and some of the things he warned her about were just so patently ridiculous that she simply had to smile.

"What's so funny?" Cisero asked. He was sitting across from her in the back of the limo, his tablet laying across his knees, but his eyes focused completely on her.

She laughed, her eyes sparkling as they met his. "Did you hear my father today? He honestly thinks that Paul Anthony is going to try something with me. Seriously."

"I can see where he's coming from," Cisero said, his mouth making a little moue.

"What are you talking about?" She cocked her head. "He thinks I'm a guy, so I don't really have to worry about him hitting on me or anything."

"Except that I heard he was gay."

"What?" she asked.

"You heard me," Cisero said. "Word on the street is that he's gay. And anyway you slice it, you look like a very attractive man."

Seb could feel her cheeks heating up. "Stop. Why would you even say anything like that?" She'd spent her entire life being the ugly duckling. It was just one of those things that had struck her fast and young and never left her.

Sebastian had been wildly good looking and all the girls had loved him. Sabrina on the other hand… she looked just a bit too masculine to be considered pretty, though personally she didn't think she was even half as pretty as her twin. He really was something.

As a man, she knew that she came across as largely androgynous, her features a little too sharp to be what she considered attractive. It was just one of the sad facts of her life, that as either gender, she just wasn't what anyone was looking for.

She'd come to accept the fact that she would have to focus her life on her career because there was no way she was ever going to find love.

So even knowing that there was no way it could possibly be true, Cisero's suggestion that she was attractive sent a surge of pleasure through her.

"You flatter me," she said, fighting the urge to touch her hot cheeks. "Thank you."

Cisero frowned. "You really are very attractive, and if Paul Anthony really is gay, there's a real chance he might hit on you. Your father has a real reason to worry."

Seb shook her head with a laugh. "You're so funny. You and my father should totally get together and form a club for people suffering from ridiculous fears."

Cisero sighed. It was obvious that Seb didn't believe him, so he would have to make sure she was protected himself, since she wasn't going to do anything to watch herself. She really was too innocent for the real world. It was one of her few true flaws, that and her inability to ever just let things go.

Meanwhile, Seb went back to gazing out her window. She could feel a nervous churning in her belly at the idea of heading into a new situation but there was no way she was going to let her fears control her. Not when her father was expecting her to succeed.

* * *

"I don't quite understand why we're even doing this."

Paul glanced at Andre, quirking his brow. "What do you mean?"

Andre made a face. He was slouched in a chair with his phone in his hand, probably texting his girlfriend. "I thought we were going to bring the Altredes down. So why are we making an alliance with them?"

"What, I'm not allowed to change my mind?" Paul couldn't help smiling. "I saw something that sparked my curiosity, so I'll hold off on my plans until I'm satisfied."

Andre gave him a suspicious look. "We're not all going to end up dead, are we?"

Paul snorted. "Why do you always have to be so negative all the time? We're not going to end up dead. Geez."

"I don't know, one day I'm going to be right. Then what are you going to do?" Andre went back to texting, his thumbs moving quickly.

"You're ridiculous," Paul rolled his eyes. "I don't even know why I bother talking to you at all."

"Because I'm your favorite," Andre said it like it was completely obvious.

"You're my cousin, that's the only reason. If we weren't blood related, it'd be a different story."

"But we are blood related." Andre didn't look up from his phone and his texting didn't slow.

Paul sighed and glanced at his watch. The Altredes weren't late, but it was a pretty near thing. And if there was one thing he couldn't stand, it was people that weren't punctual and left him waiting when he had things to do.

The office door opened and Brisk ducked his head in. "Hey boss, the Altredes are here."

Paul stood up, tugging the hem of his jacket straight. "Keep them in the main club area. I'll be right there."

He waited an extra two minutes after Brisk left before following him out. He didn't want the Altredes to think that he was too eager. Andre took up his usual position at his left shoulder.

Say what you would about Andre, when it came down to it he knew his business and he knew when it was time to be serious. He also happened to be an excellent shot.

"Don't get all twitchy," Paul advised softly. "The last thing we want is to be the one to start things. If something's going to take place, let them be the one to start it up."

"Then I get to finish it." Andre's grin was wolfish.

"As it may be," Paul said.

The Purple Lion Club was a hostess club. Pretty girls pandering to the whims of men with money, dancing and flirting, but not going any further. Not on company time, anyway. At night it was a rowdy place, but during the day there was only a bare bones serving staff as the Mercana conducted their business. The club was closed to outsiders.

Sebastian Altredes stood with his hands behind his back, his face expressionless. Even in the midst of "enemy" territory, he was completely calm and cool. His two men, one of whom was the legendary Cisero if Paul was correct, were a little more on edge than their boss, but they seemed to be taking things in stride. Which probably meant there was a whole troop of Altredes waiting outside.

Sebastian turned and gave Paul a razor edged smile. "Please treat us well," he said politely, nodding his head.

Paul couldn't help admiring his complete aplomb.

There wasn't much available information about Sebastian Altredes, but he was starting to build himself a reputation as someone to be respected. Paul could see where that was coming from; Sebastian did not look like someone to mess around with, not safely anyway.

Sure, he wasn't the tallest, toughest looking guy, but he had a capable air to him. He came across as though he could run the business end of things with steel pipe brutality, using his soldiers to handle the rough end of things. The rather severe cut to his suit added to the impression.

"You're right on time," Paul said, striding forward to stand a few feet in front of him. "It's good that you were prompt."

The edges of Sebastian's mouth quirked up. "I suppose this is where I say 'thank you'?"

"Be that as it may, are you ready to see the Territory we will be sharing?" Paul asked.

"Of course." Sebastian raised his left eyebrow. "That is the reason why we're here, isn't it?"

"Yes." Paul turned. "Come with me."

Brisk had run ahead to bring the car around and had it idling in front of the doors waiting. Andre hurried forward to hold the door open, every line of his body speaking of an earnest need to please. It made Paul want to roll his eyes as he climbed into the backseat.

When Sebastian didn't immediately get in the car, Paul leaned forward to peer out the door at him. "Get in so we can go."

Sebastian glanced at Cisero, then seemed to sigh and clambered into the back of the car, sitting across from him. Cisero settled next to him. "I suppose if you were going to kill us, you wouldn't do it in your own car."

Paul couldn't help a laugh. "No. I'd make sure we were using your car if I was going to kill you."

"Thanks. I'm sure my father would appreciate bloodstained upholstery," Sebastian deadpanned, then grinned at Paul's laugh. The car began to move.

"You're funny," Paul said, cocking his head. "That's kind of unexpected."

"What do you mean?" Sebastian frowned, his brows coming together in a single line.

"I don't know," Paul said. "You just don't look like the kind of guy that has any sense of humor."

Sebastian scoffed. "Who are you to talk? You look like someone's accountant."

Andre made a garbled sound and it was only Paul's arm across his chest that kept him from lunging out of the seat at Sebastian. "How dare you talk to him like that!"

"Calm down," Paul said mildly. He gave Sebastian a gentle smile. "So, you think I look like an accountant, do you? Hm."

"Looks are very deceiving, aren't they?" Sebastian said.

Paul looked at the younger man. "Very."

"I thought so. You're secretly a shark, aren't you?" Sebastian shook his head. "Your face is a liar. That's kind of a good trick to play."

"You don't make any sense!" Andre almost yelled.

Paul waved him to silence. "He makes perfect sense if you know what you're listening to. I don't look like a wutan member, do I?" He wagged a finger at Sebastian. "You really look the part though. Do you practice in front of a mirror?"

Sebastian smiled, though it didn't touch his eyes, which blazed green fire. "All the time. That's all I ever do. Practice, practice, practice."

Paul smiled, the genial expression he had practiced in front of a mirror himself. "It works for you. It's no wonder you're going to be the Altredes someday."

Sebastian's smile looked about as honest as his own. "Hopefully I'll do my father proud."

Paul nodded. They understood each other perfectly.

Sebastian Altredes was no one's pushover. But Paul Anthony never lost.

They would use this partnership between their Families to test each other for weaknesses. And neither would hesitate to seize the advantage.

I think I'm going to enjoy this, Paul thought with a dark satisfaction.

/ Excerpt

Filed under: Novels, Self-Publishing, Sneak Peeks, Upcoming Projects Tagged: Altredes, Lisa Bailey, science fiction, wutan, YA

EXCERPT: Fiends [mm romance] #SolCrafter

Right now I'm looking forward to an April release for "Fiends." It's a novella about a young devil sent to seduce a normal man, but ends up being the one seduced instead.

Dramatis Personae:

Teablossom — our devilish seducer.

Henry Lerner — our intrepid hero.

Karas — the opposition.

Riordan James — the lost love.

The story begins with Henry wallowing in grief over the death of his lover, and Teablossom is exactly as advertised–a fiend.

~~0~~

Henry Lerner was a fool. A good-looking fool, but still a fool.

The fiend, Teablossom, rolled his eyes as he watched the human fumble for a napkin. The coffee had spilled everywhere and people were turning from all corners of the restaurant to watch the show.

The rather no-nonsense looking blond waitress hurried across the room with a rag in her hand. She didn't look exactly thrilled, but she didn't seem angry either. "Here, sir. I've got that."

"I am so sorry. I don't know what happened, but I really am sorry," Henry babbled. The color was high in his cheeks and he didn't seem to know what to do with his hands.

"That's all right," the waitress said with more than a touch of impatience. "I'll clean this right up, no harm done. Why don't you sit back down and I'll bring you a new cup in a moment." She began to blot the floor with her towel, a line pinching between her brows.

Teablossom knew that he was, for all intents and purposes, invisible, so he had no problem staring at Henry. Not that the guy was doing anything really interesting.

Humans are so boring, he thought, taking a sip of his cappuccino. He licked a dab of foam off of his upper lip, then took a bite of his banana nut muffin.

If he could have, he would have just gone back home. He'd never been one of those fiends that were desperate to see the mortal world. To him, there was very little for him to care about and humans had never seemed all that interesting.

If he hadn't been ordered to collect Henry Lerner, he would have much rather been out with his friends.

He watched Henry quickly eat his food, his shoulders hunched away from curious eyes. He looked like he was worried about being hit. His ears were flushed red where they poked out from under his dark brown hair.

Teablossom sighed. He really didn't understand why he was here for such a useless looking human. It didn't seem worth it.

* * *

After making a complete ass of himself, he was tempted to just leave. Except he'd just ordered his food and the waitress hadn't yelled about the spilled coffee, so he didn't really want to be rude to her. So he just had to deal with the embarrassment of being a clumsy idiot.

Henry sighed and twisted his napkin on the table in front of him.

He'd never been one of those people that were comfortable in their own skin. Instead he was easily embarrassed and terribly shy around people he didn't know well, which had earned him a reputation for standoffishness.

"Here you go."

He twitched in surprise and hurriedly moved his hands out of the way for the plate she plopped down in front of him. "Thank you," he said, offering the waitress a tentative smile.

"You're welcome," she said. "Can I get you anything else?"

He shook his head. "No, this is great. Thank you."

"Enjoy your meal," she said, already walking off before she even finished speaking.

Henry fought a strong surge of loneliness and lifted his fork to begin eating. It wasn't as though this was the first meal he'd eaten by himself. There'd been so many in fact that he should be more than used to it.

Ever since the funeral, he'd had to get used to the idea that he was alone. And that had taken place close to two years ago now, so he should just stop waiting for someone to slide into the seat across from him and give him that butter-won't-melt grin.

He blinked hard a couple of times, forcing his steak and eggs back into focus. Mechanically he began to eat.

He'd been told repeatedly that he needed to stop wallowing in the past. Letting his grief rule his life didn't help him to move forward, and he was tired of being stuck in one place.

Before he even knew what was happening, Henry found that he'd finished his food. He hadn't even really tasted a thing.

Sometimes he wondered if he'd even notice if he was eating chunks of Styrofoam. All of the flavor and joy had been sucked out of his life, which just made it all the harder to go on.

Depression had become his greatest friend, and there didn't seem to be anything he could do about it. No matter what he tried to do, he just kept being dragged back down.

He stood with a sigh and walked over to the cash register. The waitress was filling the napkin holders at the counter, but paused to look at him.

"Can I get the check please?" he asked, unable to meet her eyes.

"Oh, sure." She jammed a handful of napkins into the metal holder she held, then thunked it down on the counter before walking to the register. "That'll be $11.50."

He reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a twenty dollar bill. "Here," he said, "keep the change."

"Do you want a receipt?" she asked.

He waved her off and walked toward the door. He figured she deserved the money after having to clean up after him.

Pulling his plain black jacket tighter around him, he pushed open the door and stepped out into the March chill.

It had seemed like winter was finally leaving, but it had returned with a vengeance, including a few snow flurries. It just seemed so fitting that the weather would suck so bad.

He tried not to make the comparison between the miserable weather and the day Riordan had died. He just couldn't help himself.

* * *

So that was the guy? Teablossom shook his head with a sigh. It looked like it was going to be one of those assignments.

"More cappuccino, please," he called, raising his hand and bringing himself back into mortal focus.

The waitress looked like she was going to call him on his pseudo-rudeness, but he poured on the charm and she melted in the face of his devilish allure. It gave him a cool thrill to see her fall all over herself to please him.

He reached into the inner pocket of his coat and pulled out the small moleskine notebook he'd taken to using back in the seventies. Some might have thought it a bit pretentious, but he'd gotten used to carrying one around.

Teablossom turned to the page marked by the attached red ribbon and studied what information he'd been given about Mr. Henry Lerner. There wasn't a whole lot, but he was sure he could make things work.

How hard was it going to be to seduce such an introverted man? He figured he could have this whole mission wrapped up in just a few weeks and he could be back home where he belonged.

The waitress sashayed up to the table with a blue cafe mug held carefully in her hands. He could see a cloud of foam rising over the top of the rim with a few curls of shaved chocolate resting on top temptingly.

"So," she said with a smile, "are you new in the area?"

He raised an eyebrow at her. It looked like he'd hit her with a bit too much charm and now she was putting out a nauseating cloud of pheromones.

"I'm just here for work," he said shortly, refusing to meet her gaze. He nudged his old mug toward the end of the table suggestively.

She stood there for a long moment, shifting her weight from side to side. Finally the uncomfortable silence got to her and she wandered off with a few backward glances.

He sighed. Humans were much too easy to seduce. A little bit of charm and he could hold their wills in the palm of his hand.

It made him really have to wonder why his father even bothered with them.

Stupid insects, he thought, emptying eight sugar packets into his cappuccino and stirring it thoroughly.

He flipped through his notebook, not really reading anything. He didn't have to review the information he'd been given; it was a pretty straightforward assignment.

Teablossom was to seduce Henry Lerner and have the man sign over his immortal soul. Simple.

If he was lucky, he'd be home before the week was out. And seeing as this was his nine hundredth soul, he would finally earn his promotion and the raise that came with it.

Anticipation went through him at the thought of being able to lord his new position over his brothers. They were going to be so deliciously jealous.

Teablossom made a mental note to up the security around his living quarters. The assassination attempts were going to really start coming once he got home. He could barely wait.

* * *

One of the worst things about working from home was the loneliness. If he wasn't careful, he could find himself not seeing another human being for weeks at a time. And it was so easy to lose any kind of social skills.

Riordan would have been upset to find out just how far he'd let himself fall. He would have been even more horrified to think that his death had been the cause.

All Henry had to do was picture Riordan's sad eyes and he would feel a stabbing pain somewhere in his chest. More than anything he never wanted to think that he might have brought Riordan sadness.

So once a week he would eat dinner at various restaurants around the city, and every day around lunch time he left the townhouse and walked to the Sunshine Deli and Coffee Shop where he would sit and people watch for a while. It was a pretty pathetic attempt at socialization, but it was better than the none he really would have preferred.

Rain was a cute college-something that had worked at the deli for as long as he'd gone there. She always made sure his usual spot was clean and ready for him and she knew to bring him an iced mocha first thing.

Today her hair was a vibrant green color and had been braided here and there with a rainbow pattern of beads. She was wearing a green smock shirt-dress thing that left her legs bare all the way down to her little elf boots.

"You look like the Legend of Zelda," he blurted out.

She laughed and brought his drink over to him. "You mean I look like Link," she said, "and thank you. I'm not sure what my girlfriend was going for, but I think I like being mistaken for a video game character more. Just don't tell her that or she's gonna get upset."

"I won't," Henry said, hanging his jacket on the back of his yellow chair before sitting down. He'd never met Rain's girlfriend and wouldn't have recognized her from a stranger on the street. Though from everything Rain had let slip, "Jinky" sounded like a real character.

Rain leaned against the side of his table, the beads in her hair rustling when she moved. "You would not believe how crazy she's driving me," she complained affectionately. "She's on some kind of cat bend and wants us to get a kitten."

"And you don't want one," he said.

She shrugged. "I don't know. I'm not exactly the world's greatest animal owner. I've got a history of dead pets following me around. She just says I'm silly and she would make sure our cat is all right, but still."

He looked at her thoughtfully. Her tone had been joking, but there was a serious fear in her eyes. All her dead pets had really traumatized her.

"Maybe you're just not ready for a pet," he said.

"But she really wants a cat," Rain sighed, "and our neighbor is giving away kittens right now. She has her eye on a little female calico."

"Well, if she's going to get it, maybe you could just think of it as her cat until you get used to the idea of having a pet around," he suggested. "Once you're more used the idea, then you can start thinking of it as part yours."

"Maybe," she said slowly.

He shrugged. "If she really wants a cat, there's a good chance she's going to end up with one, even if it's not the little calico. And life's way too short to spend it arguing about something you just can't change. Some people are just cat people."

"Hm," she hummed. Then her eye was caught by a blond woman walking toward the deli counter. "Oops, gotta go."

Henry watched her hurry off and sighed.

She just seemed so young and carefree. It made him want to yell at her to cherish her happiness and make sure Jinky knew she was loved every moment. Because death lurked around every corner and there was nothing like grief to make you regret everything you never said or did.

He bit his tongue and focused on his drink, examining it with forced intensity.

He knew that he had problems. He'd been told repeatedly that he wasn't handling his grief well. It was just impossible for him to help himself.

Riordan had been the center of his world, and now that center was gone.

"Hey, you mind if I sit here?" a voice suddenly broke into his thoughts.

He looked up at the young man standing next to the open chair. "Huh?"

The guy shrugged with a self-depreciating laugh. "Well, yours is the only open table. Do you mind if I sit with you?"

Henry looked around and was surprised to find that all of the tables had filled up without him noticing. His really was the only one with an open seat.

"Oh, well, yeah," he babbled, then blushed. "Of course you can sit."

"Thanks." The man pulled the chair out and sat with a sigh, plopping a white paper wrapped sub sandwich and a soda down in front of him. "It's too cold to eat outside and I really didn't want to take my lunch back to work with me. I was really glad to get out of there for a while."

"Oh, you're on your lunch break?" Henry asked.

"Yeah. I just got changed from the night shift, so now I have to get used to an all new routine." He stared unwrapping his sandwich, then paused. "My name's Abel T. Moss, by the way. And thanks for sharing the table."

"It's fine," Henry said, wondering if he should offer his hand. "I'm Henry."

"Nice." Abel took a big bite of his sandwich, dropping shreds of lettuce everywhere like a little kid.

Henry felt a bit awkward, but Abel seemed so relaxed that Henry finally had to be too.

Sucking his drink through the straw, Henry couldn't help examining his new companion curiously. There was just something about him that seemed so interesting.

Abel wasn't a very tall man and he had rather sharp features, almost vulpine. He had high cheekbones and a sharp blade of a nose and laughing black eyes. His hair was the inky black of a self-dye job, though there were no roots showing to give away his natural color. From his eyebrows, Henry thought the guy might be a ginger, though he couldn't be sure.

"So, you work around here?" Henry asked.

Abel looked at him, then swallowed, a visible bulge going down his throat. "Yeah, at the hardware store down the street. Working days is way different then I'm used to. More customers and less re-stocking the shelves."

If Henry would have known his simple question would release such a flood of chatter, he probably wouldn't have said anything at all. But listening to Abel babble about 1/8-th screws and sorting the bolt bins was actually pretty soothing.

He'd lived so long in a well of silence that he'd forgotten how nice it was just to listen to someone talk.

He watched Abel's animated face and the way he talked with his free hand or sometimes forgot himself and ended up waving his sandwich around. And Abel talked so much that all Henry had to do was nod or throw in a "Yeah" or "No" every once and a while.

He hadn't had such a completely easy conversation in a long time, longer than he liked to think about.

Then all of a sudden Abel was crumpling up his sandwich wrapper and glancing at his watch. "I have to get back to work," he said regretfully.

"Oh," Henry said, honestly feeling sad. He just had the sense that he was never going to experience such a casual conversation ever again. "Well, have a good day."

Abel stood up with a grin. "I always do. See you around, Henry."

"See ya."

Henry watched the younger man go and had to resist the strange urge to call him back. He didn't even known the guy, so why should he feel so badly about seeing him go?

He sighed heavily and stared at his empty cup. Maybe the reason why he'd liked having Abel there was because for one shining moment he hadn't felt so completely and utterly alone. It had felt like the darkness had lifted a little and brightness had come trickling in. Just a little, but more than he'd seen in a long time.

And now his world seemed even darker than before.

/ excerpt

Filed under: Self-Publishing, Sneak Peeks, Upcoming Projects, Writing Tagged: excerpt, Fiends, novella, Sol Crafter

Downward Spiral

I would never think to lie to anyone and say that I am a happy-go-lucky person… no, I fully admit that I am a terribly moody bitch. But I'm pretty cyclical, so if I time things right I can *fake* it that I'm cheerful most of the time.

Anyways, I've noticed the last few days that my taste for life has been degrading rapidly, which is kind of a warning sign that I'm about to go down, down the rabbit hole once again. When I reach my lowest point, about the only thing I have any enthusiasm for is writing–everything else is all just shades of gray. It's kind of like being a real life zombie. Sure, there's no craving for brains, but I do shuffle through my days in a mindless stupor.

So there will probably be writing updates here and there, and I am for sure going to make sure I hold to my weekly schedule for "Dragon Knight," but there's a good chance that for everything else my contact with the outside world will go dark.

Please do not be offended if I don't immediately respond to emails or messages. I will try to get back to anyone that messages me, though it might take a little while.

~Pax

Filed under: Real Life Tagged: RL

Introducing: Vedran's Hand [fantasy, mm]

Dragon Knight–the Emperor's Hand. At 12 years old he binds himself in service to the then 16 year old Crown Prince Vedran Malvorta. An orphan of good birth, he gives up his family name and becomes the Empire's sharpest blade. His love for Vedran is the driving force of his life and there is no one he won't kill and nothing he won't do for Vedran.

Through great daring and risk to his soul, he wields the demon sword Silva Morta. It must taste lifeblood each time it is drawn or he will lose control of it and he will be the one wielded.

Emperor Vedran Malvorta–son of an aging tyrannical madman, as a child he watched as war broke out around him as loyalists executed his father and put him on the throne. Bearing the mental stain left behind by the things he's witnessed, he has vowed that his rule will be just and fair and that he will win the love of his people. To that end, he has angered his Imperial Advisors by using funds from the Imperial Treasury to pay for public works, but he is firm in his desire to ensure his country's prosperity.

Kameris Teloran–childhood friend of Vedran and Dragon Knight. He is loyal to the core.

Princess Emera Malvorta–the Emperor's younger sister, she is a sweet and trusting girl. She has no memories of her parents and Vedran is the only family she has ever known. He has been more father than brother to her, and she is certain he won't mind the feelings she's developed for Dragon Knight. What brother wouldn't want his sister and his best friend to fall in love with each other?

Empress Selesta Demarran Malvorta–mother to the Crown Prince, she was raised above the other Imperial wives. Born of the politically powerful Demarran family, she will do anything to ensure her son's ascension to the throne.

Crown Prince Lulius Demarran Malvorta–Emperor Vedran's oldest child and heir to the throne. He is a rather quiet boy that would do anything to make his father proud.

Filed under: Journal, Writing Tagged: Dragon Knight, notes

Introducing: Dragon Knight [fantasy, mm]

Dragon Knight–the Emperor's Hand. At 12 years old he binds himself in service to the then 16 year old Crown Prince Vedran Malvorta. An orphan of good birth, he gives up his family name and becomes the Empire's sharpest blade. His love for Vedran is the driving force of his life and there is no one he won't kill and nothing he won't do for Vedran.

Through great daring and risk to his soul, he wields the demon sword Silva Morta. It must taste lifeblood each time it is drawn or he will lose control of it and he will be the one wielded.

Emperor Vedran Malvorta–child of an aging tyrannical madman, as a child he watched as war broke out around him as loyalists executed his father and put him on the throne. Bearing the mental stain left behind by the things he's witnessed, he has vowed that his rule will be just and fair and that he will win the love of his people. To that end, he has angered his Imperial Advisors by using funds from the Imperial Treasury to pay for public works, but he is firm in his desire to ensure his country's prosperity.

Kameris Teloran–childhood friend of Vedran and Dragon knight. He is loyal to the core.

Princess Emera Malvorta–the Emperor's younger sister, she is a sweet and trusting girl. She has no memories of her parents and Vedran is the only family she has ever known. He has been more father than brother to her, and she is certain he won't mind the feelings she's developed for Dragon Knight. What brother wouldn't want his sister and his best friend to fall in love with each other?

Empress Selesta Demarran Malvorta–mother to the Crown Prince, she was raised above the other Imperial wives. Born of the politically powerful Demarran family, she will do anything to ensure her son's ascension to the throne.

Crown Prince Lulius Demarran Malvorta–Emperor Vedran's oldest child and heir to the throne. He is a rather quiet boy that would do anything to make his father proud.

Filed under: Journal, Writing Tagged: Dragon Knight, notes

RE: Untraceable [movie]

The first time I saw a trailer for this back in 2008, I thought it was going to be another one of those stupid "Killer guy has a website and everyone that visits it *mysteriously* dies" type of movies, but I was pleasantly surprised.

I bought the DVD on sale and wasn't really expecting too much when I watched it. Sure, there's lots of stupid stuff going on and you can totally be like "Why the hell would she get back in the car?" But come on, it's a movie, it's for entertainment, and I honestly really enjoyed it.

You have a guy killing people on his website, building crafty machines that use the hit counter to decide how long someone is going to live. So of course everyone in America was going to check out the site, they got told not to!

It's kind of a grim commentary about the kind of people we are. We might not go out and kill someone personally, but we have no problem taking a peek at a dead body. Wasn't that the whole premise of that coming of age story "Stand By Me?" where someone asks "Do you wanna see a dead body?" and everyone unanimously replied, "Hell yeah!"

If you suspend some of your belief in the FBI and the police being able to track some guy down, this is actually a pretty good popcorn movie. There's just enough ick–guy gets killed by sunlamp, guy gets melted by sulfuric acid–that you root for the good guys, and there's some fairly clever death machines displayed without going completely over the top ala the Saw franchise.

Plus you've got a strong female lead in Diane Lane, who I personally adore. I also really like her haircut in this movie and was admiring it throughout

I can maybe understand why this movie didn't do so great in the box office, but I still really enjoyed it and I think more people would if they gave it half a chance.

Once again this is a movie that was the victim of bad marketing. Instead of being some teeny-bopper slasher flick with some crazy guy killing people through the computer, you have a disturbed man trying to get some kind of vindication for his father's death and the way it was publicized on the internet.

I think part of the reason why some people didn't like this movie was that it struck a nerve because it could really happen. We have become so detached from reality that we no longer associate the things we see online with real people. We're just in it for the lulz.

My rating: 4 for entertainment value and Diane Lane kicking ass while tied up.

Filed under: Uncategorized