Jeff Finley's Blog, page 2

Weekly Update – Breakdancing, Cycling, and Productivity Edition

Jeff here, I hope you’ve had a good week. It’s Finley Fridays! Today I want to share what I’ve been up to and all the cool links I’ve found. Let’s get into it!

Website Re-Build Updates

👨‍💻 Trying to Focus: I spent some time at the library working on my website redesign. It’s been good but sometimes it feels like I’m fighting against myself when it comes to focus and procrastination. I want to get into deep work and make dents into the important tasks, but get lost in the weeds on tiny details.

I used ChatGPT and ​Todoist​ to help me break down my vision into manageable chunks and tasks. I tried ​FigJam​ and ​Relume​ for mind mapping, which was kinda useful, but ultimately I had more success with picking one page to start with and going from there. I tried out ​Brain.FM​ for focus music that’s supposed to help with ADHD. Enjoying it so far.

I also tried this new browser called ​Stack​, which is a lot like ​Arc​. I want to like these new approached to the web browser, but ultimately find it hard to adjust to their proposed workflow while also trying to actually get my work done.

A rough wireframe of my blog header design, built in Bricks with ACSS

🧱 When in Doubt, BEM it Out: I asked myself what would be most fun to start with and decided to lay out a basic blog template. I’m using ​Bricks​ and ​ACSS​. While it’s been a learning curve, I’m developing good habits using BEM (Block, Element, Modifier) methodology and DRY (Don’t Repeat Yourself) principles. Basically, using a class-first workflow with a standardized structure and naming convention for HTML and CSS. It keeps things organized. This is what ​Kevin Geary​ teaches and it fits with how I like to work.

To learn more about BEM methodology, here’s a ​good video​ to start with:

I also saw ​Ollie Pro​ was released this week, which was tempting to abandon my current direction and just buy that awesome “done for me” theme. Mike McAlister, the designer of Ollie, is doing an amazing job with it. But right now I’m gonna stick it out with Bricks and ACSS. I’m already starting to get the hang of it and beginning to feel like I can build anything (eventually).

Learning Curve and Setbacks: It hasn’t all been smooth sailing—I had a bit of a setback when my ​InstaWP​ staging site expired unexpectedly. I failed to recognize I was on a 7-day trial. It turned out okay though, as it pushed me to set up everything on my Cloudways host, giving me more practice reps.

Server Upgrades: Speaking of ​Cloudways​, I was chatting with their support over an annoying slowdown issue on my site. Clicking on any link in my WordPress dashboard would take 5-6 seconds to load. So frustrating. It turned out to be a DNS resolver issue, which they promptly fixed and my site was fast again. Yay! I also took the opportunity to upgrade my server to PHP 8.3 (I was on 7.4, which is on “end of life” stage) and the latest MariaDB version for improved performance—I’m sure these will help!

Free Subscription Tracker: I found this ​handy subscription tracker​ in Notion to keep tabs on all the apps and plugins I’m using for my business. Really helpful!

free subscription tracker Notion templatePersonal Stuff

🍄 Microdosing Shrooms Update: I did doses #7 and #8 this week. I find each session to be very humbling and grounding. Reminding me that I’m a physical being in a physical body (not just a mind or spirit) and that it’s safe to be here. It tends to push unresolved emotions, old patterns, triggers, and anxieties to the surface. They have a great energetic charge associated with them, making it feel more obvious and harder to ignore. It helps me FEEL them and puts me in a better state to process them through without rumination or analysis. Click here to learn more about ​my microdosing practice​.

🚴‍♀️ Cincy Trip: Cara and I took a trip down to Cincinnati, revisiting our favorite spots when we were first dating. We got coffee and lunch at ​The Madison Place​, my go-to coffee shop in Cincy.

Me with my fav Nitro Cold Brew at The Madison Place

We had our bi-weekly “couple’s meeting” and shared our gratitude for each other talked about our goals. We also stocked up on tea at ​Churchill’s​, Cara’s fav, before stumbling into a live bicycle race in Hyde Park. This was a nice synchronicity for her because she literally just got into a rabbit hole learning about Lance Armstrong, the Tour de France, and competitive cycling in general. It was so cool to see.

Cara bemused by her cycling synchronicity

More Cycling Content: Oh get this, we had no idea, but the Tour de France is going on RIGHT NOW. And we learned about this dude named Mark Cavendish. He just ​broke the world record​ with 35 stage wins. It’s kind of a crazy time to just now get hip to the Tour de France and then this record gets broken. We later found there’s a ​Netflix doc about him​ that came out last year chronicling his dramatic rise and fall and eventual comeback. Fascinating.

Cara and I are also getting hyped for the Olympics coming up next month. We’ve been catching up on ​random qualifier competitions​ on YouTube and watching stuff on Netflix. Exciting!

And watching every ​Indiana Fever​ game as we watch ​Caitlin Clark​ in her rookie year in the WNBA. Yes, we bought WNBA league pass for this!

Breakdancing in the Olympics?

Oh and guess what, ​breakdancing is now an Olympic sport​, which I’m stoked about. I was really into breaking in college and into my 30s. I started taking classes at 28 to learn from some actual b-boys and my skills improved dramatically. But I was never as good as even the mid-tier dancers in my area, let alone anywhere else. I think I participated in one battle at an event in Austin in 2016 and lost in the first round. Hah! I was never in it for the serious competition, I just loved the dance.

Here’s an old video of me breaking from 2015:

Here’s another which includes my teachers Swift Ali and BZ Broox:

While I’ve been out of it for awhile, it’s been fun to catch up on who’s who in the modern breaking scene. Incredible talent out there these days. I don’t care if people say breakdancing was an 80s fad, it’s always got a place in my heart.

Not everyone agrees that breaking should even be in the Olympics, as it’s more of an art than a sport. But I’m still looking forward to checking it out. Check out ​b-boy Victor​ and ​b-girl Sunny​ representing the USA!

That’s about all for this week. As always, feel free to reach out if you have any questions or feedback.

Have a good weekend ✌️

Jeff

WordPress vs Everyone Else

I got caught up in a fascinating discussion in ​Kevin Geary’s​ Inner Circle sparked by ​Jamie Marsland’s video​ about Wix’s “secret plan to conquer WordPress.” It brought up a lot of great points about the future of WordPress and how it lags behind it’s modern competitors in just about every category, except being open source.

WordPress vs Everyone Else

Here’s an image that Jamie shared in his video. You can see search interest in WordPress peaking around 2014 and the amount of new sites being built on WordPress starts to decline and falls off a cliff around 2020.

WordPress interest over timeFrom websites to social media and back again

From 2012 onward, smart phones and social media became ubiquitous. It’s plausible that there were just fewer new websites being built overall. As many chose to launch their business on social media, Facebook, Etsy, or Shopify instead. Social media killed blogging for the most part. People chose to write where the readers were on sites like Medium and Substack. It felt almost pointless to build a standalone website when you can just post on social media and see instantaneous engagement.

However, the standalone website isn’t going away. Just about every business needs a website as their home base. A place to host and own their content. And no, not just a ​Linktree​, where their website consists of just social media links. But a real actual website where your creations and offerings live, in the way you want them to.

It started to become a real risk building your business on a social media platform. You could get deplatformed or canceled. You could get shadowbanned. You could see your engagement rates plummet as the algorithm changes. You could see your voice start to slowly transform into whatever it is that suits the algorithm, distancing yourself from your authenticity. You start writing for likes and engagement and not from your own truth. In fact, on many of these platforms, you might stifle your self-expression or self-censor out of fear of upsetting the mob.

It’s clear that a platform-first approach is to risky. Having a home-base, a place where all your social media activity funnels back to, is important. This has sparked sort of a personal website renaissance. I’ve talked about this before in my post ​The Return of the Personal Website​. People are starting to realize how important is is to own your content. To not risk building your foundation on rented land.

Why WordPress is lagging behind

So coming back to the Jamie Marsland video about ​Wix​ gunning for WordPress… what he shows in the video is their ​Wix Studio​ product. A website builder for agencies and experienced designers. It’s not the dumbed-down Wix of old, where your Grandma could make a website with a few clicks. No, Wix Studio looks serious.

But was Jamie just being hyperbolic by saying it was Wix’s “secret plan to take down WordPress”? It’s probably not a “secret plan” but something more mundane. Wix is a for-profit company with clear vision of who their product is for. They also have a marketing department of 200 people!

Screenshot from ​Jamie Marsland’s video​

And this is what some believe is keeping WordPress stuck in the 2010s.

Just look at this ​long tweet​ from Kevin Geary in response to Jamie’s video:

Rapid-fire thoughts on Jamie's video about #Wix vs #WordPress (from a 19-year WP veteran and exclusive WP user)…

– It brings up some very valid points and I'm glad he published it. Kudos to him. It gets an important conversation started.

– The chart showing the [relatively…

— Kevin Geary (@thekevingeary) June 27, 2024

Here’s a screenshot the main gist of his tweet:

He then goes on to give examples of the state of WordPress in 2024, and it’s not exactly flattering. But here’s his conclusion:

Is WordPress really just for oldheads?

Then we got ​this response​ from ​Mark Szymanski​. He said what a lot of people are thinking. And as an admittedly younger WordPress user (28 years old) and he addresses the lack of interest in WordPress from the younger generations. I was writing about this a few months ago in my post, ​Is WordPress just for oldheads?​

The open source values that WordPress.org stands on are values held strongly by the Gen-Xers and Millennials that created it. But does Gen-Z really care about open source when they grew up on social media? Do they even care about the freedom of owning your own content?

That’s a good question. Mark also gets into how site builders like Webflow and Framer just blow WordPress out of the water with their ​slick UI designs​ with snappy animations and interactions. They spend a lot on marketing and education. Gen-Zers live in the world of apps. Not websites. If WordPress wants to succeed, they need to understand what they do best and lean into it and stop trying to be “for everyone.”

If you’re into this conversation, I also recommend ​Mark’s guest appearance​ on the WP Tonic podcast. Yes, it’s a few oldheads criticizing the state of WordPress today and their sus leadership. But they make some illuminating points. I am fascinated by it all.

Websites all look the same these days

One more thing, the fact that the younger generation grew up on apps not websites is important. They are used to a certain standard of UI/UX design. A standard that has been created by Apple, Google, and Microsoft. Those design standards are easily met with frameworks and UI kits that make it easy to design something that fits in with their ecosystems.

But it kinda makes every design look the same. This sort of flattening of web design is worth considering. Gone are the wild west days where every site had a unique look and feel. Where unique designs were the norm. I remember the ​May 1 Reboot trend​ from the early 2000s. Where web designers would relaunch their new site on May 1st with a sick new design filled with hard to read text and flash animations.

Take a look at ​this tweet from Dann Petty​ today. He’s talking about why designs look so samey nowadays, and why design uniqueness isn’t as desired as it once was. He talks about the increase in standardized ​UI kits​ (and I’ll add themes, templates, and no-code drag-and-drop page builders) has made it harder to find real talent.

A small part of me thinks these portfolio sites are dying because the clients are not hiring the standout designers anymore due to fact it's A) much harder to standout now with all designs looking the same causing confusion because B) design uniqueness is becoming less desired.… https://t.co/3ahW3bu5mj

— DANN© (@DannPetty) June 27, 2024

Is it all just marketing?

In my ​WordPress for Oldheads post​, I wondered if all the hype around Webflow and Framer was just marketing? Since they only make up 0.7% of the websites on the internet, compared to WordPress’s 43%? (​source​)

Well I had one reader reply back astutely, yes Jeff it’s all marketing. All marketing, all the time. And as Kevin Geary’s tweet would suggest, WordPress is failing in this area (among other areas).

But does it need marketing? Does it even need to be “cool?” I mean, putting a shiny coat of paint on top of a shit product and spending millions on a Super Bowl commercial doesn’t make something good. Not everything needs a 200-person marketing department.

If WordPress suddenly focused on marketing, that wouldn’t change the nuts and bolts on the inside. It is like an elephant. They’re trying to modernize with the Gutenberg editor and Full Site Editing, but progress creeps along because of “design by committee” problem that community driven projects have. It’s not driven by a centralized philosophy with real thought leadership (as Kevin points out). It’s a community driven project, not a commercial product. But it’s also a commercial product. It’s confusing (see ​this article​).

Kevin shared ​this tweet​ this morning on how he feels WordPress could simply make the wordpress.org (the open source project) for professionals, and wordpress.com for “everyone” with a dumb-down page builder like Wix.

For the record: 10 months ago I was a guest on Jamie's YouTube channel. Everything he just told us in his Wix video is more or less a consequence of exactly what I told him back then (and what I've been saying for years).

Except, he didn't agree with me.

I told him that one of… pic.twitter.com/WfYjXNLoDs

— Kevin Geary (@thekevingeary) June 28, 2024

A common complaint is that you need third-party plugins to have what’s now very common functionality. Consider organizing your media library into folders (can’t do that without a plugin). Or custom post types for things other than pages or posts. You need a plugin if you want to add collections of content like services, team members, frequently asked questions, portfolio items, music albums, or whatever else. That’s fine by me, it works. We’ve made it work.

Modern CMS’s are making strides in this area. Including Wix Studio…

Wait, Wix’s CMS did what?

Seriously, check this out. Fellow KG Inner Circle member ​Brendan O’Connell​ posted a follow up video to all this discussion. He signed up for Wix Studio and Framer to test and see how their CMS portion compares to WordPress. Funnily enough, he starts off with WordPress and runs into an error. Lol, this isn’t anything I’ve encountered and makes WordPress look pretty bad, but it’s not the norm.

But take it with a grain of salt and enjoy how mind-blowingly fast Wix Studio was at creating custom post types. I was shocked. In WordPress this would have required a third party plugin and several different admin screens and clicking around. Wix did it just a few clicks, with AI too. 🤯

Having said all that, you might wonder why I’m still using WordPress?

That’s what I know and all my content is on WordPress, so it makes sense to just port it over to a new site. But more importantly, because I own my website. I own my content. I’m not held hostage by a platform or influenced by an algorithm. I share my creations and ideas my way and it will be online as long as I want them to be. It’s nice having my own home on the web. A digital garden of sorts.

And it’s still by-and-large a reliable tool for professional use. But I am keeping an eye on things and seeing where it goes. A year from now we’ll see!

I’m loving this open discussion though and I hope to see more of it.

Website Design Updates – June 2024

Jeff here. It’s been a hugely productive week. I don’t know if it’s the microdosing shrooms, or it’s just that I really love what I’m working on. I think a mixture of both.

Today I just want to give you an update on what I’m working on and share the excitement and good vibes with you.

It’s your boy working on a new site for you allNew website updates

I finally took the plunge and bought the various tools and plugins needed for my website rebuild project. This is huge because I’ve been deliberating for what seems like ages (see my past newsletters all the way back in November).

I’m sticking with WordPress and going with ​Bricks Builder​ as my page builder. Also going with the combination of Kevin Geary’s ​AutomaticCSS​ and ​Frames​ plugins.

Honestly, I have been super inspired by Kevin and it’s his incredible amount of education content on web design and best practices that convinced me. I signed up for his paid ​Inner Circle​ community a couple weeks ago and have already received some great support from others. There are several other designers and web devs in that community that have also been making great content and I just feel a lot of positive momentum here. I can’t thank them enough for the value I’ve received from them.

I installed and activated the new tools and played around on a local dev environment (Using ​LocalWP​). I decided to move online to ​InstaWP​ for my staging site. There, I can work on my new site from anywhere. I decided to start from scratch and only import old content as needed instead of put a new skin on the 10+ year-old site.

I only had time to get my plugins installed and set things up. I played around with some dummy content to get familiar with things, but it’s going to be a learning process as I go. Not much else to report here.

Now before I get too deep into my rebuild, I made some improvements to my current site that you can see right now.

Improved checkout experience on my current site

​WooCommerce 9.0​ came out this week and made some changes their outdated checkout design. It looks almost identical to ​Shopify​, who many say has the best checkout experience out there. I updated my shop with this new feature, but had to make some CSS tweaks to get it looking good. It also got a bit faster which is nice. ​See for yourself​. Try adding a product to your cart and going to checkout. Let me know if you have any issues.

improved checkout experience on jefffinley.orgCara website updates

I made a simple ​3-page website for Cara​ a couple years ago for her copy editing services. She wanted to update the text on her site this week to reflect her new offerings. The site was built back when I was still using the classic WordPress theme Salient (a great theme back in the day, but is outdated and is a legacy product at this point).

I update her plugins and got rid of unecesary clutter. Cleaned things up on the front and backend and got it looking pretty nice. Looking at it now, with everything I’ve learned, I would do things differently. But it got the job done.

By the way, if you need a copy editor, give her a shout! ​EditingByCara.com​

made some improvements to editingbycara.comFighting spam & trying out Google Workspace

I was getting tons of new spam sent to my website email. Not through my contact form, but through regular mail. I must have got put on a list or something. Ugh. I kept marking it as spam, but it wasn’t helping. I was in touch with support with my host ​Cloudways​, which ​uses Rackspace​ for email hosting. Even with their help, I couldn’t stop the spam from coming through. Blocking the emails did nothing because they were all unique email addresses.

The spam settings in Rackspace are pretty limited and the UI is still stuck in the early 00s. I wondered it it was still meeting my needs. I started looking for alternatives.

I asked for advice on Kevin Geary’s Inner Circle and many of the folks there say they use ​Google Workspace​ for business email. After looking into it, along with other options like ​Zoho​ and ​MXRoute​, I though I’d give it a try. Currently on a trial period. I hope their spam filters work better. Another plus is that I also get better email deliverability. Transactional emails (order confirmations, password resets) won’t go into my customer’s spam folders.

Other Stuff:

Microdosing Shrooms Update: I took my 5th microdose this morning. As you know from my ​last newsletter​, I’m taking 100mg every three days. It’s a very small amount, but I feel the effects.

The dramatic highs or lows have passed and it’s more evened out now. I feel great and my anxiety levels are very low. I feel like I’m doing exactly what I need to be doing right now. Super grateful.

Shipping Orders on Etsy: I never mention it, but I still get orders through my Starseed Supply Co. shop on Etsy. I love packing and shipping my orders every week. If you haven’t seen it, ​check it out!​

Some of the goods you can get in my Starseed Supply Co. Etsy Shop

That’s about all for this week. I hope you have a great weekend!

Talk soon ✌️

Jeff

Microdosing Shrooms for Anxiety and OCD

I started microdosing shrooms this week.

If you’re not familiar, microdosing means I’m taking small amounts (100mg) of psychedelic mushrooms a few times per week instead of in one large dose. It’s getting more popular and legal in some states as a way to treat anxiety, OCD, and CPTSD.

A few months ago, I heard an ​episode of the OCD Whisperer Podcast​ where they interview some folks who do psychedelic treatment for OCD at a clinic in Colorado. Cool I thought. I also read a chapter in Sean Webb’s book ​The Human Mind Owner’s Manual​ about microdosing shrooms. Cool again.

There were a few other synchronicities that I experienced that led to me finally taking action on this goal. I did some research and dove in.

I ordered them online from a Canadian shop through a recommendation from a friend. She had a good experience with them and vouched for their quality. They were measured out into 100mg capsules. The recommended dosage was one capsule every three days.

This isn’t my first experience with shrooms. A couple years ago, I had two trips with a 2g (medium dose) and had an experience I’ll never forget.

My biggest breakthrough in those prior trips was just how disconnected from my body I’ve been. How I’d seemingly forgotten the natural biological aspect of being a creature on this Earth. I felt like prior to that I’ve been living my life like I was a “head on a stick” as they say. You know, very smart, intellectual, spiritual, creative, and imaginative. But ungrounded and anxious.

In my first shroom trip, it was like I dissolved into the primordial ooze from which all life springs from and felt wave after wave of birth, life, and death happening through me… millions of years of evolution and how I was connected to all of it… I was all of it.

Just one of the ways I felt on my first shroom trip

You know I ​call myself a Starseed​. Which is like saying I’m an alien from another star system temporarily stationed here on Earth for special mission. A mission that I’m not clear on and don’t have an instruction manual for.

What characterizes a Starseed is a feeling that Earth is not their home, that their true home is somewhere else in the stars. I call my music project Starbound Renegade alluding to my intention to return back to the stars and how I feel like I don’t fit in here on Earth.

Walking the Astral Plane

Starseeds resonate with the spiritual and imaginal realms. The astral plane. Dreams and out of body experiences. A desire to escape this flawed and messy meat suit and transcend pain and suffering. Most Starseeds are sensitive souls who cannot understand the violence and exploitation that goes on here on Earth. It seems horrifying how people treat each other and even how animals prey on other animals and eat them alive, with seeming no regard for the suffering their causing. Only a primal drive to eat and fuck.

Disillusionment

My spiritual awakening in 2013 began with an existential depression. A desire to know what is really real and true. My inner drive for authenticity was, at its core, a longing for Truth. To discover my true self beyond language and thought. Beyond flesh and bone. I could sense there was an essence deep within and that through meditation I could tap into this.

This was a disillusionment with the false self. The egoic personality was discovered to be not really real. That Jeff didn’t really exist, but was my human personality in this lifetime (one way of looking at it). A character in the video game, and my true identity was the player in another dimension.

All of this sounds woo woo, and that’s because it is. It’s not based in this reality. It’s beyond the physical.

Coming Back to Earth

I say all this to contrast it with what my experience on shrooms. While my spiritual and Starseed awakening showed me who I am beyond my body, the shrooms showed (reminded) me how profound it actually is to be in a body.

There have been times where I’ve had spontaneous enlightenment experiences. Me just derping around my apartment feeling subtly depressed or sad. And when I stopped distracting myself and feel into it with loving curiosity I notice this sadness turns to grief and sometimes I’ll end up purging it out through tears, snot, or spitting it out into a bowl.

One time this happened I had this vision flash into my minds eye. That my true identity was something like a nebulae. Like one of those images of space you see from NASA. It wasn’t a casual insight, it was like an experiential feeling of being it. Woah.

I was the entire cosmos crushed into this physical body and it hit me like a ton of bricks just how profound this was. How do I go from being the infinite everything to being in this limited flesh suit? I started weeping and fell to my knees. I felt an overwhelming sense of unconditional love and gratitude swelling from my heart extending out to all my cells and nerve endings. Utterly mind blowing.

By the way, I gotta make the same cliche disclaimer that everyone else who has experiences like this says. That I’m not special or unique. That technically we’re all faces of God. We’re all the infinite cosmos crushed into bodies and various expressions of life.

I just did a Google search and it said, “Nebulae are interstellar clouds of gas and dust. Many nebulae are formed from the remnants of dying stars. Nebulae are often also regions where new stars are born.” Interesting.

My true identity beyond form? Photo by ​Anders Drange​ on ​Unsplash​

This experience lasted maybe 15 minutes. By the end of it my face felt like it was turned inside out. I was completely sober. No shrooms or drugs of any kind.

Now, I bring this up because my only two experiences on shrooms both felt like this. Except much more intense and lasted for several hours.

The main difference with shrooms is that it wasn’t the cosmos I was experiencing, it was the biological aspect of life on Earth. We’re talking everything from the primordial ooze, to worms and insects and amphibians, to the animal kingdom, to native humans, etc. I also experienced myself as a dinosaur who lived and died and felt at peace even as my decaying corpse was being picked apart by carrion feeders.

But not only was I connecting with life on Earth, I was also connecting with the faerie or elemental realms, getting detailed visions of smiling gnomes and elves. Feeling welcomed. Feeling a sense of play and delight, that I wasn’t just an alien in a meat suit, but that I belonged here too. That life on Earth is majestic and rich in its diversity. Something I miss entirely in my longing to leave this planet and transcend pain and suffering.

Brian Froud art, he really captures the faerie realms beautifully

In my shroom trips, there was no suffering. Sure there was pain, there was grief, sadness, death and loss. But it was felt with such a compassionate and unconditionally loving presence that it didn’t feel like “suffering”. It felt transformative. It would come in waves that would initially begin with fear, shame, or disgust… then transform into sadness or grief or pain… then love and compassion would mix with these sensations almost like it was breaking it up and transmuting it. Then this feeling of gratitude would emerge for the experience. This is how I observed the cycles in my trips.

Suffering is pain and grief without that unconditionally loving presence. Suffering is the experience of feeling alone and abandoned by God/Source and trapped here on Earth. It’s no wonder people say suffering is a path to spiritual awakening, because it’s through suffering we feel ready to surrender and ask for God, however you see it.

This unconditional loving presence could also be called the Christ consciousness. From my experience, being raised Christian in rural Ohio, people talked a lot about Jesus and how he saves you from sin. How he’s the only way to God. You have to accept him “into your heart.” That you need to repent and pray to Jesus for forgiveness.

I had a falling out with Christianity in my college years after seeing the hypocrisy in the supposed Christians around me. I was relieved to not have to do my compulsive nightly prayers anymore. I used to fear that if I stopped, God would make bad stuff happen. And I could relieve this anxiety by praying and repeating the same lines over and over. I later learned that this is pretty typical OCD behavior.

But, I do think there’s something to the Jesus thing. What Jesus represents to most people is Truth, Divine Love, or Forgiveness. There’s a reason people associate Jesus with the heart. With this masculine fatherly witness energy that sees you at your worst and doesn’t flinch. He still loves you. He has no human agenda and is a perfect capacity to love everyone to an infinite degree without needing anything in return.

This unconditional loving presence really does heal. It sure does something good that I can literally feel in my body. I just don’t have a name for it and it doesn’t look like a white guy with a beard and long hair. It’s beyond words.

It doesn’t feel like anything extra that I need to “call in.” But something that’s been here all along. Does that make sense?

Art by Josephine Wall

In recovery work for Complex PTSD or trauma, the techniques tend to focus on mixing mindfulness (or “witness” consciousness) with acceptance or unconditional love. There’s a special magic that happens in that process.

In the book ​Whole Again​, author Jackson MacKenzie speaks on this.

“Hmm,” I thought to myself. “So my heart likes being loved. It doesn’t like being analyzed and judged and treated like a lab rat.” Weird.

From that point forward, unconditional love became the foundation upon which I based my healing. It is what I meditated on, trusted fully, and turned to for guidance. It is what got me from “thinking” love to “feeling” love, which my body was very resistant to. It softened me so that I could experience the truth in my body, without fear or control.

So whether it’s Jesus, God, Allah, the Universe, Essence, Love, Spirit, Mindfulness, or a guy named Tom . . . it doesn’t matter what you call it. As you go through this work, you need to find a source of unconditional love, because the whole point is that you’re not correctly experiencing love right now. So many of these conditions are about being locked inside a protective world, thinking you know how to love but failing over and over again. Building a relationship with unconditional love allows you to get out of this mind-set.”

Jackson MacKenzie, Whole Again

In my opinion, this loving presence is actually what our true self feels like. If you meditate on the feeling/intention of ultimate Truth, prime reality, what is, or simply this, you can begin to tap into that feeling. Do this enough and you can watch it grow within you. It gets easier and better with practice, but also cannot be reached with striving or effort. One of those spiritual paradoxes.

Psychedelics are a way to experience this, but the feeling is temporary. As I’ve heard it described, it’s like getting an elevator to the top of the mountain. You get a glimpse of the truth for a moment, everything makes sense, but then you come back down and struggle to hold onto those realizations. It fades away like a memory and you’re back to your old habits and addictions. Back in your meat suit crawling around like a beast.

IFS (Internal Family Systems) or “parts work” is also another way to experience this. It’s like a backdoor into spiritual awakening because of how it helps get you into your witness/loving state of mind that is separate from all your “parts.”

My Microdosing Experience

Microdosing psychedelics is more subtle. For me, it’s only been a week but here’s my experience so far taking 100mg every three days.

First dose… I was not expecting much, maybe a slight change in my perception. But no, it had a significant effect. About an hour in, my body was tingling and feeling warm and I just couldn’t be on my computer anymore. I had to go into my room and feel. I felt sadness and grief and ended up crying for “no reason”. I spent the next hour or two in my room feeling and purging out (through tears and spit, snot) various heavy emotions. I did my usual practice for emotional processing. The shrooms went in and kind of stirred stuff up, and allowed me to see/feel them and let them process through.

The rest of the day I felt very zen and light, relaxed and feeling a sense of groundedness. Anxiety was still there at times, but my relation to it was different. It’s like I could see it and surf the waves without getting wrapped up in it.

The next two days after my first dose… Anxiety was higher than normal. I felt more sensitive than usual and would find myself getting “triggered” at small, dumb things. But my ability to notice and not buy into them was better. I definitely did NOT feel euphoric or even at peace. I felt kind of nervous and skittish. I also felt very tired and unmotivated to work on anything. Very distractable, ADHD symptoms heightened, constant task switching, boredom and restlessness, etc. I spent a lot of time in my room trying to love myself and process what came up.

Dose 2 was not as dramatic. Probably because my body’s more aligned with it and more tolerant of it’s presence. I felt grounded and calm and chill. I was able to surf anxiety with more stability. Cara joked that I was like a shroomy zen master haha. That’s nice, but really I just wasn’t “in the mood” to analyze our problems or even talk about them. I just wanted to feel and love the core wound, not mentally examine the intricacies of things.

The following two days have been pretty nice. I’ve been motivated to work on my website and feeling inspired. Anxiety has been much lower than usual.

Overall, I just feel more grounded. Less in my head. The things my anxiety tells me are serious things to worry about feel less important. Even though I felt anxiety spikes at times, my ability to surf it and process the feelings underneath were better.

I like to say the shrooms shake stuff up and reveal what’s already there bubbling under the surface. If I’m living out of integrity or out of alignment with my truth, I can see it easier. If I’m resisting difficult emotions with distractions or addictions, I am more able and willing to experience those emotions.

I also had inklings of awareness that my YouTube and Podcast addictions might not be necessary. I spend a lot of time watching and listening to content about personal development, mental health, etc. It occured to me that what’s motivating it is a subtle feeling of not being good enough as I am. Even though I cognitively know this, I’m still “searching” for something through external means to settle my nerves through some sort of insight or aha moment.

I began to imagine what I’d do with my time if I’m not doing that. Huh. Who would I be without my books, podcasts, and YouTubes?? Nah, I can’t imagine quitting them all! But what would life be without YouTube? Hmm…

That’s it so far. It’s only been a week. I plan to do this for the next 2-3 months. We’ll see how it goes.

That’s about all for this week. If you made it this far, thanks for your attention.

Have a good weekend✌️

Jeff

Procrastination or ADD?

I want to talk to you today about procrastination and distraction. I feel like I’m struggling with this and don’t want to admit it.

I know… you’ve heard me talk about this before. I talk a lot about working on my website or making music, but instead of actually working on it, I keep doing research or watching other content about it. Preparing to start. Waiting for my body to give me the green light that it’s go time. It’s getting close!

I can get pretty down on myself honestly. I’m always trying to curb ​my perfectionism​, which I think is a big reason why I’ve been delaying “just starting” on my website rebuild. I’m trying to learn how to do it right, and kind of nervous to get my hands dirty knowing I don’t know everything. Knowing I am not as good as these other guys.

I watched a ​livestream​ of Mark Szymanski, a WordPress developer rebuilding his own personal website. He mentioned feeling like he’s being too much of a perfectionist and it’s preventing him from actually building it. He’s watched too much ​Kevin Geary content​ and feels like he’s behind. Same here man!

Another thing delaying me is some of the tools I’ll be using are just about to release new versions. ​Bricks Builder​ is currently on v1.9.9 (beta) and ​ACSS 3.0​ is in beta and about to be released any day now. Nothing is stopping me from buying their current versions and upgrading later, but something feels better to my brain to wait for the major release.

And I’ve got two songs at 99% complete just waiting for me to say I’m done. Then I can master them, do the cover art and make a video, and release them. I go through phases where creative work is super important to me and other times when it’s other stuff, such as emotional or spiritual healing.

Procrastination or ADD?

Sometimes I blame myself and feel guilty for “being this way.” Wishing I was better and comparing myself against people who seem to be thriving and producing the way I want to. Sometimes I feel like an under-watered plant doing my best to grow in the environment he’s been planted in.

What if instead of criticizing the plant for not growing properly, we actually look at what kind of plant it is and provide it the right environment conducive of its growth. A plant is gonna grow tall and strong when it’s got the right soil and nutrients and is properly watered and cared for.

I started Googling for answers about why I get so distracted. Why it’s so frustrating to write and I overthink everything. I came across resources for ADD and I started to feel understood.

Do I have ADD?

Maybe, but don’t we all to some degree? Or is ADD just the ​neurological condition of late capitalism​?

I hope I’m not offending anyone with ADD here, but part of me is worried about ​using it as an excuse​. Perhaps that’s just because I’m viewing it through the lens of our productivity-obsessed consumer culture. If you’re not functioning well within the system, you are disordered and need therapy to sort yourself out. Not just a normal response to a effed-up system.

But if I’m honest with myself, maybe I do need to consider it. It does run in my family. A lot of the symptoms overlap with CPTSD and other coping mechanisms from being raised with ​adverse childhood experiences​. Despite all the dysfunction me and my siblings grew up with, my entire family is highly intelligent and creative, it’s just blocked by trauma, mental illness, and lack of proper support.

Giftedness?

A few years ago, I read about ​Gifted Adults​ and some light bulbs went off. I’m hesitant to call myself gifted, but the traits are just too accurate to ignore. I’m also skeptical of any personality tests that seem to prop up the ego and make you feel more important or special than other people. But if it’s an accurate assessment, I should lean into this and stop denying it.

If I viewed myself as a special type of plant with unique needs, I could take care of myself better. Provide myself an environment that supports my quirks instead of quietly feeling guilty about it. I spend a lot of mental energy worrying that I’m going to get in trouble for not working hard or not working on the right things (hence my podcast ​We Should Be Working​).

So even though I spend a lot of time alone and doing self care, it can feel like I’m stealing time away from something or someone else. The guilt comes from feeling like I’m being selfish and just making excuses for not showing up for others in the right way. I get defensive when someone challenges me on this and I’m sorry. I’m still fighting off “the man” in my head years into grown adulthood.

Edit: I’m re-reading that last paragraph and I make it seem like it’s always this way. It’s not. I have good and bad days. Gotta give myself some credit.

I’ve been bringing this up to Cara, who also shares a lot of ​gifted traits​ but she doesn’t call herself gifted. Sometimes she compares her life to those she grew up with who all have families with a nice house and successful career. She feels like the oddball, dreaming of living off the grid in her own version of ​Walden​ where she can write and commune with spirit. Highly intelligent and creative, profoundly sensitive and socially attuned, but struggles mentally, battling OCD, perfectionism, and anxiety.

If we remember that we are indeed gifted, and allow ourselves to design a lifestyle that supports that, we can thrive. We can feel good about living up to our own standards, rooted in self love and self respect. We are getting better at this. We set up a weekly couple’s meeting to make it more intentional.

So yeah, we’re working on it.

Is procrastination even a thing?

I wonder if procrastination is even real. Who’s the judge?

Does nature procrastinate?

Think about that.

Am I actually supposed to be working on what that oh-so-urgent project? Or is that unexpected emotional trigger that totally fucked my day the actual thing I am supposed to be working on? Or am I just feeling the pressure of having talked about it a lot and I don’t have anything to show for it yet?

Sometimes life happens and things unfold in their own time, in their own way. I gotta remember that and let go of control and expectations. Remember to have fun and enjoy things.

As Lao Tzu said, “Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.”

That’s about all.

Have a good weekend ✌️

Jeff

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

Anger and Resentment – A Wake Up Call

The past two weeks have been quite challenging emotionally. My partner Cara and I have had several fights (about the same old stuff). Stuff we’ve been arguing about since the beginning of our five year relationship.

We’ll go through long periods of stable, healthy relating with minor arguments here and there. But sometimes things just blow up and we find ourselves getting heated, throwing daggers and saying hurtful things we don’t really mean. In the moment, it feels so real. The stakes feel so high and we don’t see a way out. We start questioning our relationship and wonder if this is the end.

But days later, it’s like the smoke clears and we’re looking at each other with love again and asking “what the fuck was that??” We apologize and try to give ourselves some grace. We feel a high of endorphins as the “good feelings” return. But this pattern of having a massive blow up where we nearly break up, followed with the high of “getting back together” again doesn’t feel healthy.

We both talked about how we were raised. We weren’t modeled healthy examples of conflict resolution. We saw our parents yell, scream, even hit their spouses. We saw abuse, assault, and violence which was then followed by incredible guilt, remorse, and pleas for forgiveness. That’s not how we want to be.

I wrote a post back in January titled ​Wu Wei, More Play​ and went into detail about some of the dysfunctional dynamics I grew up with. I also wrote a post titled ​Words Are Very Unnecessary​ about the tricky nature of communication in relationships. As we grow and level up as people, we also have to level up our communication skills too. Those old ways of relating just don’t work anymore.

I reached out to a friend for some help and he gave me some solid advice. He said it’s often not what you are arguing about but how you are arguing.

If we’re getting into criticism or contempt, we’re playing with fire. Those are two of the “horsemen” that relationship expert John Gottman talks about (​see here​) They are harbingers of relationship doom.

The type of arguing we were doing is actively chipping away at our relationship. It’s hurting our self esteem and making us hold in our concerns out of fear of hurting the other person, which builds resentment. Over time, if we don’t change our strategy, things will get worse.

But in the moment, we’re so activated and triggered, we are unable to act otherwise. We know we should try to see things from the other person’s point of view, but we’re in such tunnel vision (both of us are) that we can only see us vs them. We keep forgetting that this state is called dysregulation or some form of fight or flight response. That’s when old patterns, emotional flashbacks, childhood wounding, and psychological projections come out. We’re not even ourselves when this happens and we can’t judge our relationship on how we see things in this altered state.

Leveling Up Emotional Skills

My friend told me how he and his wife used to fight a lot but things got better after working on it in couple’s counseling. He recommended I check out more of John Gottman’s work, especially the ​Dreams Within Conflict​ technique (​see this PDF​). We are going to try this out.

Dreams Within Conflict technique

Another thing he recommended is having a weekly couple’s meeting. A place where you can sit down and not only bring up concerns, but reinforce the positive qualities in each other. A time to build each other up and help support each other’s dreams and goals.

The funny thing is that we JUST implemented that idea last week. I’ve been wanting to schedule a weekly couple’s meeting for awhile because I feel like neither of us are that good at scheduling time for just ourselves. We both tend to be exhausted from everything else we’re doing and aren’t putting ourselves first nearly as much as we should. So we need to dedicate time at least once a week to put ourselves first. Looking forward to seeing how this goes.

The other thing that we really need to do is take breaks if we’re getting “activated” during an argument. If we are in that familiar dark tunnel, we need to stop and go our separate ways for 20 minutes and come back to it. Sometimes even just five minutes does the trick. But in that altered state, you feel like everything is urgent and the only way to solve it is to dig in more. Wrong.

Healing My Own Childhood Neglect

In addition to the couples-focused help I’m getting, I’m also finding more meaningful ways to work on myself. I should say, love myself, and heal. Because I can’t approach myself as a problem that needs fixing.

Last week I picked up the book ​Running on Empty​, by Jonice Webb about recovering from childhood emotional neglect. This has been eye opening for me and definitely describes many of my symptoms and adult behaviors. It’s not always what your parents or caregivers did to you growing up but what they didn’t do. Even the most loving and well meaning parents don’t know how to properly handle the emotional needs of their children.

I also got into the ​Crappy Childhood Fairy​ on YouTube. She really nails so much of what it was like growing up in a poor, alcoholic family and her advice matches a lot of the other advice I’ve seen from Pete Walker (​Complex PTSD: From Surving to Thriving​) or Bessel A. van der Kolk (​The Body Keeps the Score​).

She made a video about signs that you weren’t listened to or taken seriously growing up and this shit hits home.

Signs You Weren’t Listened to As a Child – Crappy Childhood Fairy

She’s got this thing she calls her Daily Practice as a way to safely handle your fear, anger, and resentment without bottling it up or unloading on your partner. Basically it is a combination of writing your fears and resentments and surrendering them to your higher power. This, coupled with meditation, can go a long way in regulating your own nervous system and getting out of fight or flight reactions that stem from your past. I already do some form of this, but it couldn’t hurt to add it to my toolbox.

Other resources that have helped me:​The Adult Child podcast​ – an unfiltered and brutally honest (shit)show from someone who has been through a dysfunctional childhood. Entertaining and affirming.​Chump Lady Podcast​ – It’s called “Tell Me How You’re Mighty” but it’s really a podcast for those who have been cheated on (aka chumps) from Tracy Schorn (aka Chump Lady), author of ​Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life​. Doesn’t pull any punches or make excuses for the cheater, unlike Esther Perel (whom I appreciate). It took me years to actually feel the anger of being betrayed in my marriage. My ex cheated on me multiple times and lied about all of it.​Financial Recovery​: Developing a Healthy Relationship with Money book by Karen McCall. I heard about this on the Adult Child podcast and so far it’s good. It talks about the cause of underearning and financial dysfunction are rooted in shame and trauma from childhood. Even though we KNOW about our problems with money, we can’t stop from repeating them and this book gets into why that is and how to heal the root cause. I’ve been working on ​healing my money issues​ for ​years it seems like​, but this book is helping me out right now.

Anyway, that’s about all I have to share this week. If you are in a relationship and have gone through similar troubles, I’d love to hear what works for you. Thanks for reading, until next time!

Have a good weekend ✌️

Jeff

Season Finale! Reflecting on Work, Life, and 12 Episodes of The Pod | WSBW 12

Season finale of We Should Be Working! Zach and Jeff reflect on the podcast and discuss future plans. They finish up the road trip conversation and bring us up to present day. We have really loved having you along for the ride and listening to us explore our relationship with work, life, and what inspires us.

Links Mentioned:🦥 Sloth Sanctuary Costa Rica📺 Enlightened TV Show🖥️ Web Design – Page Building 101 course📸 Jeff’s Photos on Unsplash🚶‍♂️ Jeff’s Gang of Hobos Hitchhiker Story🌌 Starseed Hotline🌟 Jeff’s Starseed Post🥊 Fight Club Let Go Scene✨ Maggie Murphy: Manifest These Two Intentions🎵 Jeff’s BOXOMYLK album with his own vocals🏍️ Long Way Up TV ShowFind Us:

🎙️ Podcast Website: https://we-should-be-working.simplecast.com
🖥️ Jeff’s Website: https://jefffinley.org
📺 Jeff’s YouTube: https://youtube.com/jeff_finley
🐠 Zach’s Website: https://fightingfish.studio

Appreciating the Craft of Good Web Design

I’m getting deeper into web design as I brush up my skills in pursuit of a refresh of my site and the ability to offer my services to clients. I’m having a lot of fun learning and trying things out.

Since I’m going to stay on WordPress for now, I’m deciding if I want to use ​Bricks Builder​ with Kevin Geary’s ​Automatic CSS​ framework, or use native WordPress (aka Gutenberg) and explore their full site editing (FSE) capabilities.

Luckily, today there was a live-streamed ​Bricks vs Gutenberg​ page-build demo starring Kevin Geary and Brian Coords. Both talented web developers on different sides of the aisle as far as tools go.

Bricks vs Gutenberg Showdown!

Kevin is an advocate for Bricks and developed his own CSS Framework to use within it. Brian is an advocate for just using WordPress by itself without the need for an additional page builder plugin. They both had a chance to build out a web page (they chose to recreate the homepage of ​ghost.org​) and explain their processes.

I tuned in hoping that this would help me decided which direction I wanted to go. By the end, I’m pretty sure I had my answer. I was in the live chat and managed to get a few of my questions answered which was nice.

I was leaning towards Bricks already, but was hoping Brian could sway me into using WordPress by itself, which could save me some money. But his approach was pretty technical and over my head. He’s a seasoned web developer and basically coded a lot of stuff himself that he brought into WordPress to help him “fix” the problems in the Gutenberg editor. He didn’t use the new Full Site Editing features.

His approach wasn’t for people like me, but for professional web devs who are building sites for clients. I’m not there yet. I found his workflow tedious and convoluted. I wasn’t the only one, given by the comments in the live chat.

Kevin’s approach in Bricks uses his own Automatic CSS framework, which is another paid add-on. His workflow is very fast and streamlined and it’s obvious he’s very experienced and has a lot of practice. But for someone at my skill level, I think the two tools combined could help me bridge the gap.

Sure I can just get an off the shelf theme like ​Blocksy​ or ​OllieWP​ and use their presets, but that’s basically what I have now. I want more room for customization and to build a site that feels more uniquely me, more cohesive, and not like a patchwork of hacked together parts.

Bricks Builder in Action from bricksbuilder.io

Another thing that excites me about Bricks is that by using it, I will be improving my actual HTML/CSS skills with best practices in mind. These skills transfer over even if I don’t want to use Bricks anymore. It helps me become a better web designer.

Being a better web designer excites me because I love the idea of tending to my digital garden (more on that below). Making a cozy space on the web for all my creations and ideas. And if I can help others do that too, all the better.

Fluid Typography and Spacing

Probably my favorite part about this whole exploration is learning about design systems and fluid typography, spacing, and colors.

Using a fluid design system, your typography (from headers to body text) and spacing (padding and margins) are calculated mathematically using ratios like the golden ratio, or a musical scale such as minor third or major fourth.

For example, check out ​utopia.fyi​ or​ typescale.com​.

Utopia – Fluid Responsive Design

Also check out this article ​Consistent, Fluidly Scaling Type and Spacing​ by Andy Bell for CSS-Tricks and ​fluid-type-scale.com​.

This is how you get aesthetically pleasing and well balanced designs that have an elegant rhythm and flow to it. Not disjointed or clunky designs that break or look weird on mobile.

You can achieve perfect consistency with colors, shades, spacing, and typography across your entire site and on all devices. Changes are made by adjusting only a few variables instead of having to adjust every single element individually or eyeball it. I love that.

Design wise, you aren’t just winging it and figuring out what font sizes or margins to use on the fly, but you are working from a standard and letting math do all the work.

And with colors, you pick a base color, a primary, secondary, and accent colors, and the math calculates all the various shades and transparencies you could ever need on your design with perfect color harmony.

This may be old news to some of you, but to me this is new and exciting to learn about. It’s the difference between a “pro” design and an amateur design.

Favorite Things of the Week

Here’s a few of my favorite links this week that have inspired me:

🍎 Maggie Appleton and Digital Gardening

Very impressed with her work. I first discovered her via ​her talk​ The Expanding Dark Forest and Generative AI. It’s about the growing corporate lifelessness of the modern web. You can read her ​excellent article​ on it.

The Expanding Dark Forest and Generative AI by Maggie Appleton

Btw, that’s one ​beautifully designed website​. I love the attention to detail like her different “growth stages” on each article, indicating how complete and comprehensive it is. First time I’ve ever seen an “assumed audience” card at the beginning of a post, and “planted over X years ago” date stamp with “Last tended over 1 year ago” modified date. Nice!

She also turned me onto the idea of ​Digital Gardening​. A term that’s been around for a while, but new to me. The idea is that your personal website is like a garden that you continually tend to and prune.

“They’re not following the conventions of the “personal blog,” as we’ve come to know it. Rather than presenting a set of polished articles, displayed in reverse chronological order, these sites act more like free form, work-in-progress wikis.” –Maggie Appleton, on Digital Gardening

Makes me think of Levi’s ​Integral Guide​, a huge collection of healing and self-development resources. A site wholly managed and maintained by one guy and is like his personal garden.

I really admire their passion and focus on the craft. It really shows. 😚👌

Integral Guide to Well Being – a great example of a Digital Garden

🎨 Color Palette Tools. I’m a big fan of ​Coolors.co​ and use it to make most of my palettes. But I’ve also been checking out ​atmos.style​ and ​color.adobe.com​. Very cool.

📌 Designer focused Pinterest alternatives like mymind.com and cosmos.so. They both have manifestos about privacy and good design. Anyone use these? Really nice designs.

🌎 The Return of the Personal Website revisited. Sophie Koonin’s ffconf 2023 presentation titled ​This Talk is Under Construction​ was pretty good. Another nostalgic “bring back the weird personal website” piece. She’s got a fun site at localghost.dev which has a clever theme switcher at the top. I love this. It’s similar to what ​Max Böck​ has on his site. I feel like I want my new site to have a mix of this “indie, personal website” vibe and the professional sleekness of a site like ​Shift Nudge​. Btw, again great attention to detail on that site. I’m gonna be stealing some ideas for sure 😆

What Else I’ve Been Up To:

💆🏻‍♀️ Posted Episode 11 of the We Should Be Working Podcast Zach and I continue to discuss my time in Austin and my decision to go backpacking in Europe for 3 months in 2017. We discuss my fleeting aspirations to be a professional cuddler and sexual healer, touching on topics like The Red Pill, Manosphere, and a healthy masculinity outside of women and work. ​Listen to Episode 11 Here​.

🌌 Doing Some Dream Work. I started reading ​Let Your Body Interpret Your Dreams​ by Eugene Gendlin. What I like is that it’s less about decoding your dreams with your analytical mind, but learning to dialogue with your body and get more into feeling. Shout-out to Brianna at ​Exist Better​ for the ​recommendation​ in her latest video.

That’s about all.

Have a good weekend ✌️

Jeff

Sexual Healing and Healthy Masculinity Outside of Work and Women | WSBW 11

Zach and Jeff continue to discuss Jeff’s time in Austin and his decision to go backpacking in Europe for 3 months In 2017. They discuss Jeff’s fleeting aspirations to be a professional cuddler and sexual healer, touching on topics like The Red Pill, Manosphere, and a healthy masculinity outside of women and work.

▶️ Episode link: https://we-should-be-working.simpleca... Podcast Website: https://we-should-be-working.simpleca... Jeff’s Website: https://jefffinley.org📺 Jeff’s YouTube: https://youtube.com/jeff_finley🐠 Zach’s Website: https://fightingfish.studioTopics Referenced in this Episode:📺 Previous WSBW cuddle episode💆🏻‍♀️ Jeff’s post on Professional Cuddling and Sexual Healing💬 Nonviolent Communication🤗 Cuddlist – professional cuddler certification🌀 Jeff’s soul retrieval experience📚 Book: Kelly La Sha – Liquid Mirror📝 Jeff’s blog post about the end of his time in Austin🌍 Jeff’s blog post about his Europe trip📖 Book: How to Travel the World on $50 a Day🚐 Book: How to Live in a Van or RV and Find True Freedom📖 Jeff’s book Maker/Mistaker👽 Book: Meet the Hybrids (on alien hybrid children)🙌 Jin Shin Jyutsu book: The Touch of Healing📸 Jeff’s nature photos on Unsplash📖 Iron John – A Book About Men🎙️ Jeff’s podcast on The Red Pill, Alpha Males🛍️ Jeff’s Etsy Shop: Starseed Supply Co🌷 Mother’s Day Lawn Transformation🚗 Auto Detailing Transformation🔍 Integral Guide for Healing🎥 Interview with Levi of Integral Guide🎬 Boy Kills World movie🦌 Baby Reindeer on NetflixChapters:

00:00 Intro
00:42 Jeff’s Journey in Austin: Cuddle Parties and New Age Experiences
09:03 Reevaluating Professional Cuddling and Exploring Sexuality
12:28 The Final Boss of the Sexual Healing Journey
15:19 Jeff’s Trip to Europe
38:02 Exploring Masculinity and The Red Pill
54:30 Work Taking a Backseat, Guilt, and Over-Responsibility
01:17:30 Inspirations of the Week

Cuddle Parties, Astral Projection, and Lucid Dreaming | WSBW 10

Episode 10 of We Should Be Working! Zach and Jeff talk shop, web design, and motion graphics meetups. Zach asks Jeff about his Cuddle Party experiences in Austin in 2016. Then they talk about astral projection, lucid dreaming, and out of body experiences. It was a great conversation you don’t want to miss!

Find Us:

🎙️ Podcast Website: https://we-should-be-working.simplecast.com
🖥️ Jeff’s Website: https://jefffinley.org
📺 Jeff’s YouTube: https://youtube.com/jeff_finley
🐠 Zach’s Website: https://fightingfish.studio

Links Referenced in this Episode:

🧑‍💻 Jeff’s post: Website Redesign – Is WordPress Still Good?
🐠 Zach’s Studio Website
💕 Samantha Hess – Professional Cuddler
🎙️ Jeff’s Podcast with Samantha Hess
🤗 Samantha Hess – CuddleUpToMe
📚 Book: Beyond Cuddle Party by Monique Darling
🌟 Monique Darling, Everyday Tantra
🤗 Cuddlist – Professional Cuddling Certification
💬 Relating Games
🧘 Orgasm Inc – The Cult of OneTaste
🔒 The Vow (NXVIVM Cult)
💫 Betty Martin – The Wheel of Consent
🌌 Jeff’s Personal Guide to Astral Projection
📚 Book: Journeys Out of the Body by Robert Monroe
🎬 Waking Life movie
🌌 Book: Lucid Dreaming: Gateway to the Inner Self
⚡ WordPress Speed Build Challenge
🤲 Why We Pick Our Skin (Animated Short)
🗓️ Colorado Motion Meetup
🎨 Greyscale Gorilla (Resources for 3D Artists and Animators)
🎓 School of Motion
🍺 Ratio Beerworks

Episode Summary:

During this part of the conversation, Jeff and Zach discuss their experiences with web design and the challenges they face in creating and maintaining their websites. They also touch on the topic of physical touch and intimacy, including Jeff’s experience with cuddle parties and the importance of safe spaces for exploring touch and healing from trauma. In this part of the conversation, Jeff Finley discusses his experiences with attending events related to personal growth, sexuality, and astral projection. He reflects on the potential for cult-like dynamics in these communities and emphasizes the importance of consent and trusting one’s own feelings. He also shares his experiences with astral projection and the blurred boundaries between the dream realm and the astral realm. Jeff describes the process of astral projection and the potential for false awakenings and parallel realities. In this final part of the conversation, Jeff shares his personal experiences with astral projection and how it has transformed his perception of reality. He discusses how he overcame his fear of sleep paralysis and night terrors through meditation and observation. Jeff also explores the purpose of astral projection and the profound sense of exploration and self-discovery it offers. The conversation concludes with a discussion on the impact of night terrors on Jeff’s life and the potential influence of different environments on astral projection experiences.

Chapters:

00:00 Intro and Web Design Chat
12:16 Work Updates
17:00 Jeff’s “Cuddle” and “Sex Party” Adventures
40:58 Jeff’s Astral Projection Adventures
1:12:44 Inspirations of the Week