Daniel Lyons's Blog, page 15

How to stop the Westboro Baptist Church

A town in Mississippi figured out a strategy. If you're in Cupertino, you have two hours to swing into action.

Real Housewives of South Boston

"New York Stankees." Heh. Dear Lord, please make this TV show.

Wall Street's Apple Panic

That's the headline on the article I posted on the Daily Beast last night after Apple reported its earnings. Gist is: Everybody take a deep breath. Apple turned in amazing numbers. The forecast for holiday quarter was strong. The stock hasn't bounced back yet, but it will. Also keep in mind that Apple didn't miss; Wall Street did. Apple forecast $25 billion in revenues, and beat that by quite a bit. The number that Apple "missed" was the Wall Street consensus. To be sure, in past quarters Apple has always underestimated its numbers, so you can't blame Wall Street for starting to expect more than what Apple tells them to expect. Fingers crossed on the holiday quarter, but I'd bet it will be a barn-burner.

iPhone 4S "yellowgate" is a figment of your imagination

Idiotic Westboro hate squad will try to picket the Jobs memorial service

Says on Cult of Mac that these rambling inbred hate-mongers are planning two protests — one at Cupertino High School and another at the mothership. One is tempted to ask why, but with these people what would be the point? "Because we're crazy and nasty, and we believe in some ridiculous ancient superstitions but in fact don't even correctly understand the meaning of the superstitions we supposedly believe in and have built our lives around," would be the honest answer, but I wouldn't hold my breath waiting to hear it.

Praise the Lord and pass the mescaline, as Shawn Colvin Willis Alan Ramsey once said.

Losing face

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Episode 9 of The Double D Guys podcast, titled "Losing face," is ready for a listen right here. Or you can get it on iTunes, as always. This week Dave Thackeray and I wonder why nobody would buy any Facebook shares in the recent SecondMarket auction. Then we try to talk each other into getting an iPhone 4S. Dave doesn't want to commit to a two-year contract. (He has issues.) I am eligible for a new phone on Verizon but I want to hold out and see the Nexus Prime. However, I'm not heartened by the fact that Google and Samsung are announcing it in Hong Kong, in the middle of the night. Not a good sign.

Meanwhile, I just came upstairs to my office after lunch and found that somehow iTunes had turned itself on while I was at lunch, and was playing Jimi Hendrix's "Power of Soul" from the "Live at Fillmore East" album. Must be a ghost playing games with my electronics. Thank you, ghost. You made my afternoon.

The pincer movement that could kill Android

On one flank, the ever-popular-and-showing-no-sign-of-slowing-down iPhone; on the other, a fresher looking (and not hampered by patent attacks) Windows Phone, with Nokia carrying the flag. That's the argument of Ewan Spence. It's worth a read.

"I am going into fashion and it's like the official phone of the industry."

That's what "fashion publicist Adam" (not the guy in the photo above) told Reuters as he purchased his iPhone 4S in New York. People are switching from BlackBerry, Nokia and Android. Once again, Apple seeing record-breaking sales. The momentum is not just continuing; it's growing. Has any company ever been this hot?

Steve's sweater? Um, maybe not

It seemed more than a little creepy when this company in Minnesota jumped all over the news of Steve's death and ran a huge promotion on a black mock turtleneck and then saw its sales explode. The guy who runs St. Croix actually told a reporter that Steve Jobs was a customer — but then the company had to back off those claims after getting busted by TMG and others after Steve's biographer, Walter Isaacson, revealed that Steve got his mock turtlenecks from Issey Miyake. Oops.

Occupy Portland: Hand signals primer

My God this just keeps getting better and better. Hat tip to Andrew Sullivan.