Tim Young's Blog, page 7

What A Leper And Centurion Can Teach Us About Compassion

It’s hard to do good for people who don’t deserve it, isn’t it?

We all have those people we work with or people in our families that we would rather punch in the face than give a minute of our time to. I bet you can name a few people right now that would you rather work around or completely remove from your life. Words like compassion, friendly, joy don’t seem to fit into our narrative with these so called toxic people. Right?

Am I making sense here?

This is a tension that many of us live with day in and day out. I wrestle with this too, but check out one of the story that Jesus invites us into. Remember the story of the Sermon on the Mount? You know, love your enemy, turn the other check and yup…even go the extra mile. Or, blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Before we walk this out…I’m not talking about justified self defense or protecting your family here.

Sounds great doing a study on the sermon on the mount or reading it in your daily devotional, but living out in real life…well that’s a quite a different thing all together. Well it gets better because Jesus brings it all in by ending the sermon with this, “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”

OK, let’s hit the pause button here. In the last couple of months using the sermon on the mount as the litmus test, are you a wise man or a foolish one?

Show of hands please!

If you’re honest with yourself you’re probably in the camp of fools, right? You know that family member that you wish would go away or that work colleague that you’d like to literally take out back and punch in the face.

Jesus isn’t just saying these things because they’re new and revolutionary…He wants us to do this! We hear this on any given Sunday and we’re like, YEAH praise God! Then we walk out the door and want to call fire and brimstone down from Heaven on a few people.

So do you think that Jesus just leaves the story right there? You know, just a bunch of words? Well, check this out.

Shortly after the brilliant sermon He just gave, He comes down from the mountainside with an energized crowd following Him and comes face to face with a leper. Put on the breaks! We have all this momentum and this guy with leprosy comes into the scene and kneels before Jesus. The scene goes still as all eyes are on Jesus because everyone is wondering what He’s going to do. Will Jesus live out what He shared on the Sermon on the Mount? Because this is that guy that NO ONE wants to be around! They might not have leprosy, but I’m sure you have a person like this in your sphere.

The Leper says, “Lord, if you will, you can make me clean.” And Jesus does the coolest thing…He stretches out his hand and touched him, saying, “I will; be clean.” And immediately his leprosy was cleansed.

…and the crowd goes wild. This guy Jesus is walking His talk. Jesus was willing to stop everything and give this man His undivided attention.

Would you have done that?

Oh, it gets better because what happens next is crazy! After healing the leper, Jesus comes into Capernaum and a centurion came to Him asking for help He said, “Lord, my servant is lying paralyzed at home, suffering terribly.” Here’s the kicker, because most of us miss this.

A Roman centurion, who represented all the history between the persecuted Jews and the Roman empire, has the balls to come up to Jesus and ask Him this. Lets roll the tape back a bit. Gnaeus Pompeius Magnusa, a military commander of Rome, lays siege on the city of Jerusalem and badly damaged the Temple. The Jewish people had to accept the terms of Rome, and they became a province of the Roman Empire in 64 BC, setting up the scene for the coming birth of Jesus. No too long after this, Rome appointed Herod to be king over Israel and the kicker…he was an Edomite which was very offensive to the Jews. Although he was known as Herod the Great, he was not great at all and creates chaos for the people of Israel. This man was absolutely hated! Next on the scene was Pontius Pilot who was always at odds with the Jews and introduced crucifixion to the land.

Getting the picture here? Rome and anything that represented Rome was hated and this is what this Roman centurion represented to the crowd that followed Jesus.

The times and circumstances are different, but we’ve all been in this place. That person whose wounded us the most and has hurt us the deepest comes to us and wants something. We react like Jesus, right? Heck no, we say…”are you kidding me?!?! Have you forgotten the pain you’ve caused me? All the history?” At this point many of us find ourselves at “golf foxtrot yankee!”

The irony here is that this centurion’s servant is suffering and the centurion is the personification of suffering.

“So what does Jesus do? He said to the centurion, “I will come and heal him.” But the centurion replied, “Lord, I am not worthy to have you come under my roof, but only say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I too am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. And I say to one, ‘Go,’ and he goes, and to another, ‘Come,’ and he comes, and to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.” When Jesus heard this, he marveled and said to those who followed him, “Truly, I tell you, with no one in Israel have I found such faith.”

Wait a minute!!! …what?!?!?

Ok, so where am I going with this. Jesus trades Heaven for Earth to introduce a brand new way to live life and a brand new set of ethics that would fly in the face of common sense. Basically Jesus is saying that if you treat a Roman like the Romans treat you than you’re no better than a Roman. Jesus is calling us to something completely different.

Ouch. Tough stuff and I personally wrestle with it, how about you?

Why is this stuff so difficult? Well, its because we always identify with Jesus in this story rather than the leper or the centurion. We look over Jesus’s shoulder in these circumstances and decide from on high if we’re going to be compassionate. In reality we’re really standing behind the leper and the centurion.

We always take on the victim role and see ourselves as the offended, rather than the offender. This tension is at the core of Jesus’s message and He is inviting us to live life a brand new way.

Are we really going to follow Jesus or be self-righteous and just treat people the way we think they deserve to be treated? We all leverage the wrongs and hurts from others to justify our hurtful reactions to others, don’t we!

You are not Jesus! You are the leper…you are the centurion…you are the offender!

Let that soak in for a bit!

The story of the leper and centurion has shaken me up and I hope it shakes you up too. Hopefully next time you’re confronted with your “leper” or your “centurion”, you will take the opportunity to do for someone what you hope your Father in Heaven will have grace and compassion to do for you.

Adapted from: Doing For Those Who Don’t, Doing For Those Who Don’t by Andy Stanley.

                  

God Is Calling You Out Of Your Hiding Place!

It was a warm, inviting sunny day as I climbed into the sanctuary of my car to begin my journey down to Gillette Stadium in Foxboro, Massachusetts, where the New England Patriots football team plays. Cruising down route 495 south with light traffic, no distractions, and dressed to impress in my business suit, I became lost in the reflections of the past week. Of course I was also thinking about how awesome it was to have this opportunity of attending an executive breakfast in the visitor’s locker room to hear Bill Belichick, the head coach of the New England Patriots speak. There was a welcoming peace that day in the comfort of my car that I was all too enthusiastic to embrace. In the peaceful silence, I was prompted to listen to one of the CD’s in the “Restoring the Father’s Love” series again.

I came to a place in the series where time stood still, my heart stopped, and my body went completely numb as the existence of the highway and the other cars around me simply faded into the background; I cannot truly explain what happened. My life began replaying right before my eyes as the Spirit of God brought me back into my past and unearthed something that I had suppressed deep within me for most of my life; I, too, had been abused at the age of ten. I wept all the way to my destination.

During trials we need to continue to stand in His grace. We need to focus on how much He loves us and accepts us for who we are. Nothing we do will make Him love us less. I have found that we must not blame others when everything around us crumbles, but allow the circumstances to be an opportunity for His love to both purify and cleanse our soul from all the bitterness, resentment and anger that we carry. When we get to this place, and it is not easy, we will then begin to experience His awesome love embracing us, which removes the fears, limitations and hindrances of the past.
—Jack Frost

This was a big turning point in my life where the Lord would go deeper with my healing. He began the restoration process of removing the places in my life that I used to hide behind because of fear and shame. This undercurrent of fear and shame consumed me and played out in everything I did, even though I thought I had shoved it down far enough. This was a very hard place in my life to visit again, but the Lord gave me the strength and courage to face it head on. I want to share with you the deep hurts I had to walk through in a poem I was inspired to write called “My Hiding Place.” Maybe you too will find yourself buried somewhere in these words.

My Hiding Place

This little boy in the world of the indefinite.


Wanting so much to be both accepted and loved.


Looking for my father; he was not to be found.


Accepting my life as an onlooker; watching others embraced by the love of the father.

Looking for love and acceptance.


Wanting so much to find love, to be loved.


Learning that acceptance is unavailable, loneliness takes hold.


Out of fear, I run to my hiding place! Where is my warm embrace?

This little boy in the world of disappointment.


Having a desire to fit in; to be accepted by others.


Looking for my father; he was not to be found.


Accepting my life as a failure, I so much want to be recognized! Watching others hit a ball out of the park, being praised for it.

Looking for love and acceptance.


My hope for acceptance fading, I begin to get used to this.


Out of fear, I run to my hiding place! Where is my warm embrace?

This little boy in the world of evil.


Craving that someone would just accept me! That someone would love me!


At an impressionable age, I thought it came, but this was not love and this was not acceptance! It was a cancer that devoured me from within.


Looking for my father; he was not to be found.


Finally realizing that there is no love and acceptance!

Looking for love and acceptance.


Wanting to be somebody, needing to fill this void.


Out of fear, I run to my hiding place! Where is my warm embrace?

So desperately wanting to be somebody; to be loved, to be accepted.


Control, drive, money, success…POWER!


How easily I discovered a means to fill this void.


“The only way to be a somebody is being able to beat everybody else!”


Yet I still lived in fear.


Fear that grew, fear that controlled me, fear that possessed me! But I had the power!

Looking for love and acceptance.


Two words that faded out of my existence.


Out of fear, I run to my hiding place! Where is my warm embrace?

This little boy in the world of opportunity.


Courtship, marriage, having a family, what an incredible opportunity!


My family wanting so much for me to give acceptance, wanting me so much to give love. I did not know how!


I stopped looking for my father; he was nowhere to be found.


I only knew power; I only knew fear. Never understanding love and acceptance!

Looking for love and acceptance.


Unable to understand…


Out of fear, I run to my hiding place! Where is my warm embrace?


This power corrupted me! My world crumbled at the very foundation on which it was built. My very fabric of existence, ripped apart!

Looking for love and acceptance.


I am completely crushed! I run, I run, I run…


Out of fear, I run to my hiding place! Where is my warm embrace?

Left only with fear! No acceptance, no love!


Out of desperation, I cry out to God!


Suddenly, a warm covering of peace comforts me. My spirit begins to heal!


I am accepted—unconditionally; I am loved—unconditionally.


Looking for love and acceptance.


Freely given—without condition!


I come out of my hiding place! Finding a warm embrace!


This little boy now held in the comforting arms of the Father, my Abba Father!


Released from the chains that have bound me!


My fear is gone!

Through life experiences, my understanding that love was a reward for success or service. Love is simply a gift, a gift that is freely given!


I have forgiven my earthly father as my heavenly Father has forgiven me.


I now understand, how to love, how to accept and how to freely give it — unconditionally!

(Excerpt from Heartstone Copyright © 2009 by Tim Young. All rights reserved.)

You probably can’t imagine there being a glory to your life, let alone one that satan fears. But remember, things are not what they seem and we are not what we seem. With the shame, guild and pain that life seems to deliver, you probably believed the lie that you were junk. No matter what life’s thrown at at you, no matter what others have done to you and no matter what you’ve done…I pray that fog of poison gas from the pit of hell is fading away in the wind of God’s truth in your life!

Base Image credit: Labeled for noncommercial reuse with modification.

                    

Live Life Without The Fear Of Death In Your Heart

I love a good war/military action movie and I’ve shared my thoughts on some of the more popular ones here on Heartstone Journey; Lone Survivor, American Sniper and 13 Hours to name a few. One movie that doesn’t get talked about much is Act Of Valor. Another great movie!

The story line written by Relativity Media via IMDb goes like this. An unprecedented blend of real-life heroism and original film making, Act of Valor stars a group of active-duty Navy SEALs in a powerful story of contemporary global anti-terrorism. Inspired by true events, the film combines stunning combat sequences, up-to-the minute battlefield technology and heart-pumping emotion for the ultimate action adventure. Act of Valor takes audiences deep into the secretive world of the most elite, highly trained group of warriors in the modern world. When the rescue of a kidnapped CIA operative leads to the discovery of a deadly terrorist plot against the U.S., a team of SEALs is dispatched on a worldwide manhunt.

As the valiant men of Bandito Platoon race to stop a coordinated attack that could kill and wound thousands of American civilians, they must balance their commitment to country, team and their families back home. Each time they accomplish their mission, a new piece of intelligence reveals another shocking twist to the deadly terror plot, which stretches from Chechnya to the Philippines and from Ukraine to Somalia. The widening operation sends the SEALs across the globe as they track the terrorist ring to the U.S.-Mexico border, where they engage in an epic firefight with an outcome that has potentially unimaginable consequences for the future of America.

These movies all show amazing acts of courage, bravery, valor, perseverance and brotherhood, but Act of Valor stars active duty Navy SEALs. At the very end of the movie, the narrator speaks the words of a letter which contains a poem written by Chief Tecumseh, a Native American of the Shawnee tribe. As I did research on Tecumseh, I found a few other cool quotes he’s attributed to:

“A single twig breaks, but the bundle of twigs is strong.” (teamwork)

“Always give a word or sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, or even a stranger, if in a lonely place.” (courtesy)

“Let us form one body, one heart, and defend to the last warrior our country, our homes, our liberty, and the graves of our fathers.” (common bond for a common cause)

The words of the letter, spoken at the end of the movie Act of Valor, have deep meaning, and I wanted to share it with you. As was stated in the Williamsburg Military Insider, the poem is “truly amazing and I hope that it inspires you to make this life count, to pursue noble undertakings, and live to the fullest having used all your talents and have no regrets.”

Here is that letter:

Before my father died, he said the worst thing about growing old was that other men stop seeing you as dangerous…I’ve always remember that how being dangerous was sacred, a badge of honor. You live your life by a code. An ethos, every man does. It’s your shoreline. It’s what guides you home and trust me, you’re always trying to get home.

Your father was a reader, Churchill of course, but also Faulkner and books about Tecumseh. He loved artists who painted people with bodies that looked like boxes. I’d give him hell about that. He’d just say you gotta look harder. Look harder, your father would say, I always knew he wasn’t just talking about those boxy abstract paintings.

There’s threats everywhere in a world that’s draped in camouflage. Your father’s grandfather gave up his life flying a B24 in World War II. He kept the liberator aloft just long enough for everyone to jump, and then he went down with the plane. That’s the blood coursing in your veins. Your father was my boss and I was his chief. What we knew about each other’s traits and our bond as operators. There’s a brotherhood between us and we depended on each other more than a family. Tecumseh said although a single twig may break, a bundle of twigs is strong.

Our platoon was headed downrange. We had Weimy, our sniper, he grew up in the middle of the Mojave desert, most excitement he had as a kid was bowling frozen turkeys down the aisle at the grocery store.

Ray, our comms guy, our radio man. He grew up in east LA gangland. He had a silver star for pulling a wounded teammate out of a freight.

Sonny, he was made of granite, this guy didn’t even do push ups because he was afraid his chest was gonna get too big.

Ajay joined the teams late in his 30’s. He had been a Muay Thai fighter all his life, before that he grew up dirt poor in Trinidad.

Mikey had 20 years in the teams, as humble as he was. You never even know him. He kept a picture of his wife in his helmet, and a lock of her hair in his pocket, quiet as the breeze.

And finally, senior chief Miller. Couldn’t really tell you much about him other than I’d rather take a knife to a gun fight than have to be interrogated by him.

That last night at home you think about how you coulda been a better dad, a better husband, that bedtime story you shoulda read or that anniversary you forgot. You don’t expect your family to understand what your doing, You just hope they accept it. When you get home, you hope you can pickup right where you left off.

War is a country of will, there’s no room for sympathy. If you’re not willing to give up everything…You’ve already lost.

Your father was a good man. Growing up without him is going be hard. It’s going to hurt. You’ll feel alone, out to sea with no shore in sight. You’ll wonder why me, why him. Remember you have warrior’s blood in your veins, the code that made your father who he was is the same code that’ll make you a man he would admire, respect. Put your pain in a box. Lock it down, like those people in the paintings your father liked. We are men made up of boxes, chambers of loss, triumph, of hurt and hope and love. No one is stronger or more dangerous than a man who can harness his emotions, his past. Use it as fuel, as ammunition, as ink to write the most important letter of YOUR life. Before your father died, he asked me to give you this poem by Tecumseh, I told him I’d fold it into a paper aeroplane, and in a way…I guess that’s what I’m doing, sailing it from him to you.

Live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide.

Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, even a stranger, when in a lonely place. Show respect to all people and grovel to none.

When you arise in the morning, give thanks for the food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself. Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools and robs the spirit of its vision.

When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way.

Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.


_________

Wow! This inspires me to make this life count, and live to the fullest having used all my talents and have no regrets. This inspires me to ask what can I give, and not worry about what I don’t have. This life is short and to short not to live every day to your fullest potential.

Men, here is your challenge. This letter is bold and poetic and I hope it moves you to want to raise your kids with this ethos! The world might just be a better place.

Base image credit: Pixaby. Free for commercial use.

                    

Man Up And Stop Blaming Everyone!

Ok, time for a gut check.

Are you a person that takes responsibility or a person that blames?

Are you quick to point the finger at someone else and say, “It’s your fault!”?

Ever wonder why our knee jerk reaction is to blame? Is blaming a new thing? When did it all start?

You are not a failure until you start blaming others for your mistakes.
—John Wooden

Lets dial the story back to Genesis to one that you may have heard of before. It’s a pretty famous story of a dialog between God and the first two people that ever lived — the story of Adam and Eve.

Lets pick the story up in Genesis chapter 3 right after the little incident over at the tree of ‘the knowledge of good and evil’ where Adam and Eve decided they would go ahead and eat of the fruit that they weren’t supposed to.

Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” (Genesis 3:8,9)

Just thinking out loud here, but did the thought ever cross your mind that thinking you can hide from God is an exercise in futility?

But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” God knew where he was, but was giving Adam an opportunity to man up. So does Adam man up? Nope, not at all…he says to God, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.” Things get a bit more tense here because God calls him out, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?”

God says to Adam, “Have you eaten from it?” and Adam says, “Yeah I did! I take full responsibility for what I did. I’m the guy you need to deal with and please leave Eve out of this cuz’ she’s innocent!”

Hopefully most of you are laughing a bit here, because this is not really what went down. What did Adam do? He blamed Eve…”It’s her fault! In verse 12 we find Adam saying this, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” Adams is saying, “wait a minute here, You’re the one who created her and I didn’t ask for this. Why don’t you and Eve figure this out and leave me out of it!”

He gave Adam just one rule to follow…and he blew it!

Adam blames Eve. Lets see what Eve does.

God turns to Eve and says, “Hey Eve what is this that you’ve done?” Eve responds, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.” Eve is saying, “wait a minute I was tricked, this isn’t my fault either. It’s the serpents fault!”

Eve blames the serpent.

Ironically the serpent was the only one who probably took responsibility because this was his plan all along!

Isn’t it amazing when some actually stands up and takes responsibility? It may not all be their fault but the take responsibility for your part in it. Its my family, its my team, its my company, fill in the blank _____________.

We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers – but never blame yourself. It’s never your fault. But it’s always your fault, because if you wanted to change you’re the one who has got to change.
—Katharine Hepburn

When I was going through my divorce years back, it would have been very easy for me to point the finger at the now ex-wife! Trust me it’s what I wanted to do! I had a word spoken to me from a conference I went to which completely changed my perspective and was the very start place where I started taking responsibility for my own actions. I am not saying that the breakdown of my marriage was completely my fault, but what I am saying is that I am accountable for my part int it. Maintaining innocence in a divorce would fool no one. I’m not suggesting that this is an absolute for every situation, but it usually takes two, and the reality is that the story is rarely simple.

Here was that word:

If our actions or attitudes have brought hurt to another person there may be a need to go to that person and make right any wrong to break the destructive patterns in our relationships. God has forgiven us for the wrong the first time we ask. But to break the cycle of reaping from what we have sown and to begin restoring trust it is often necessary to make every effort to bring healing to others and to seek to restore the fractured relationship. Even if we feel the other person is 98% wrong and we are only 2% wrong, we are


100% responsible to walk in forgiveness and repentance for our 2%. (see Matthew 5:22–26; Psalm 109:17–19, 29).i

So let me ask the question again. Are you a person that takes responsibility or a person that blames?

i Jack and Tricia Frost, “The Ministry of Restitution,” Shiloh Place Ministries, Inc. http://www.shilohplace.org . Used by permission.

                    

3 Ways To Break Free Of The Homer Simpson Syndrome

Turn on the television, head out to the movies or browse social media and one of the major themes is that men are witless, pointless or mere playthings to be stepped on by the entire family. Like infomercials, men are endlessly lampooned and are shown as absent or feckless fathers.

Is all fair with dads on the family front? Does culture have a blind spot when it comes to the role of men in families? Would much of the jokes aimed at fathers be banned if they were aimed at women, ethnic minorities or religious groups? Most of the men I know are devoted, hardworking and would do anything for their families. Even give up their lives to save them.

There was a time in culture when men were always the authority figure and the head of the tribe. In comparison, today’s culture is polar opposite where men are demonized and sidelined way too much. We all heard the “who wears the pants in the family” jokes but leadership in the home is no laughing matter. During the last few decades our culture has redefined the meaning and responsibilities of men and women in society and in the home. Many men have become emasculated, confused and insecure. With this new narrative taking a firm grip on society, men don’t know how to step up and lead the home anymore. Growing up, most men lacked a good role model for leadership at home and don’t have a clue of what it means to lead a family. The result, they do not lead effectively or they do not even try.

Sadly many men have become passive or lunk heads in the home. They’ve decided that the easiest thing to do is nothing and that’s exactly what they do! The simplest thing with the smallest risk is to straddle the fence and let the wife do all the heavy lifting. When a man is married to a strong wife who takes over, he often lets her do just that…take over. Come on guys!

What are we telling young boys if the examples of fatherhood they see everyday are parodies of incompetence?

Fortunately, there is an answer. God’s Word clearly provides us with the model for being an authentic man, a husband and father — that model is called the servant leader. I know that many of the Bible verses shared below have been taken out of context but when correctly interpreted and applied, these concepts not only result in freedom for the husband and wife, but also help you to work better as a team to in your marriage. Here are two foundation passages in scripture that I would like to camp out around.

But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ. -1 Corinthians 11:3

Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body. -Ephesians 5:22-30.

A feminist’s head just exploded!

1) Lead Them!

Whether you like it or not, God placed the ultimate responsibility with respect to leadership in the household on the shoulders of the man. Also, God assigned the wife the duty of obeying her husband. Wait, before your head explodes…this obedience MUST BE A VOLUNTARY submission on her part, and only to her own husband. Oh and men…”head of the household” doesn’t mean male dominance, where you rule over a woman and demand her total obedience to your every wish and command. God never viewed women as second-class citizens and neither should you. Got it?

Now tell me, what does that mean to be noble? Your title gives you claim to the LEAD IN THE HOME, but YOUR FAMILY WON’T follow titles, they follow courage. Now, YOUR FAMILY knows you. Noble and common, they respect you. And if you would just lead them to freedom they’d follow you.
—William Wallace [emphasis mine]

God’s Word does more than assign leadership in the household to the man, the comparison of the husband with Christ reveals the sense in which a man should be his wife’s “head.” The man is “head” by being intentional in her very welfare — he is her protector. The pattern we see here for men is Christ, who as head of the Church, is its Savior!

Remember guys, you will not lead her perfectly, but you must care for you wife and family by serving them with everything you’ve got. Let’s take a deeper dive into a couple of responsibilities that flow out of authentic Godly leadership.

2) Love Them!

In the passage from Ephesians above, reads “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” So what does this mean? It means that your unconditional acceptance of your wife is not based upon her performance, but on her worth as God’s gift to you.

A major thing missing with men leading in their homes is sacrificial action. Guys, gut check time. When was the last time you gave up something for your wife that you genuinely valued? Sporting event? Game of golf with the guys? Fishing/hunting trip? fill in the blank ________! Sometimes you need to give up something you enjoy, so your wife can have a break and see your love for her. So man up!

3) Serve them!

Being head of your wife does not mean being her master, but her servant. Jesus is our role model model for this type of leadership. Jesus didn’t just talk about serving, He action-ed it out when he washed the feet of His disciples. Seriously….just check out John 13:1-17.

Christ, the Head of the Church, took on the very nature of a servant when He was made in human likeness. -Philippians 2:7

One way to serve your wife is to take the time to understand her needs and try to meet them. Do you even know what your wife’s top needs are right now? Do you know what she worries about? What’s dogging her right now? Do you know what her future hopes and dreams are? Become a student of your wife and learn the answers to questions like these. Be intentional!

Another way to serve your wife is to provide for her. 1 Timothy 5:8 makes it very clear men, “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith, and is worse than an unbeliever.” Providing also means taking the initiative in helping to meet her spiritual needs. By modeling Godly character, by praying with her, by spending time together with her in God’s Word, and by looking for ways to encourage her spiritually. So get your head out of your @$$ and provide!

Men, REALLY LISTEN to this song from Sanctus Real and make it your mission. Its what our wives, our kids and our culture are begging us to do — lead them with true leadership.

To be a leader, a lover, and a servant is to accommodate your life to the life of the gift God has given you — your wife. Give up your life for hers and when you stand before God, He will say, “Well done, good and faithful servant!”

Step up, man up, become the authentic man you are in Christ Jesus and lead them!

                    

8 Tips On “How To Dad” From A Cheerios Commercial

Attended a CIO conference recently and one of the keynote speakers used the Peanut Butter Cheerios #HowToDad commercial to highlight leadership. Honestly, I’ve never tried Peanut Butter Cheerios but can totally appreciate how awesome this commercial is. Not in highlighting a product but how awesome dads are and that they do matter in today’s society despite a major de-emphasis on the role.

Here’s a bit of the background story of the commercial from the creators website.

Created by Tribal Worldwide Toronto, the socially-driven campaign features an upbeat online video that celebrates the insight that dads parent differently, and places Peanut Butter Cheerios at the heart of all the zany, funny and epic situations that kids get themselves into under dad’s watch. The video then drives viewers to HowToDad.ca for bite-sized sharable content that resonates with dads. Four 15-second preroll spots, widespread display advertising and targeted promoted social posts round out the program, which is all unified under the #HowToDad tagline. “It just made sense to declare Peanut Butter Cheerios as ‘The Official Cereal of Dadhood,’ because like great dads, Peanut Butter Cheerios lie somewhere in the intersection of awesome and responsible,” says Josh Stein, creative director, Tribal Worldwide – Toronto. “Dads are awesome and it’s awesome to be a dad. The new campaign creatively acknowledges that today, dads play a significant role in raising children, and celebrate their contribution.i

At Heartstone Journey, we know more and more dads are stepping up and experiencing the satisfaction and reward of taking a more active role in the lives of our kids…and dads should be celebrated! I love this commercial because if really does a great job at portraying the reality of life of a dad and family. I also want to give a huge shout out to Tribal Worldwide because they didn’t pick the idiot dad stereotype or the passive dad routine to be “funny”…they picked an authentic dad!

This commercial shows the simple ways dads are awesome and is a reminder that dads do matter and they have an impact on the relationships with their kids. Before reading on, click play, watch the commercial and you’ll see why the campaign is awesome.

Here are 8 ways on “how to dad” seen in the commercial (not in any order):

1) Be A Role Model

A significant area of impact a dad can have on his kids is being a role model. In a society where kids are turning to other sources, such as super heroes or sports figures, a dad who steps up has a real opportunity to be a real hero in this space. Whether you “dad” or not, a dad is a role model to his child, whether he realizes it or not. Are you your son’s first hero? Are you your daughter’s first love? No? …why not? A daughter who spends time with a loving father grows up knowing she deserves to be treated with respect by men, and what to look for in a husband. A dad can teach his son what is important in life by demonstrating integrity, courage, accountability, honor, humility, and responsibility. Here are great examples of how to be a dad that creates impact.

2) Listen First, Talk Second

Stephen R. Covey shares that most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. Ouch! Dads, take the time and really listen to your kid’s ideas, fears, problems, fill in the blank ________. When we pause and listen to our kids it helps them feel respected and understood.

3) Be a Teacher

Sadly, most of the teaching happens in our eroding education system and not at home. A father who is intentional about teaching his kids about right and wrong, and one who encourages them, will see his kids will learn to make better choices in life. An involved dad can leverage everyday examples to help his kids learn important life lessons. Guys just consider the vital knowledge have that you can pass onto your kids. How about in the commercial when the dad adjusts his son’s cap and says, “Suggestion – that’s a boy [sliding son’s hat to the side], that’s a man [sliding son’s hat forward-facing]!” Validate them and remember guys…your DAUGHTERS need you just as much as your son’s do, so man up!

4) Show Affection

It’s important for a dad to model that balance between being a warrior and showing compassion. Sensitive but not a pushover. Your kids need the security that comes from knowing they are wanted, accepted, and deeply loved. Show your kids how much you love them; say it often and get comfortable hugging them. Don’t forget about high fives, fist bumps and next level handshakes. The commercial points out, “They (kids) look at us the same way they do superhero’s…up…because we’re taller.”

5) Discipline With Love

All children need guidance and discipline, not as punishment, but to teach them healthy boundaries. Take the time to help your kids understand the consequences of their actions and provide meaningful encouragement for appropriate behavior. When a rule is broken we are the enforcement and when a heart is broken we are re-enforcement.

A dad who disciplines in a calm and fair manner demonstrates in real time that he loves his kids. Said another way from the commercial: an awesome dad knows how and when to discipline, “because being awesome isn’t about breaking rules — it’s about making them.”

6) Spend Time With Your Kids

How a dad spends his time speaks volumes to his kids regarding what’s important to him. Are your kids important to you? If you’re always busy with other stuff or working late all the time, your kids will be impacted…not a good way. Guys, loving your kids means sacrificing other things and it’s vital to spend time with them. It might means doing things out of your comfort zone or things that you aren’t that interested in but your kids are. There are unforgettable moments being a dad, like when when your kid walks for the first time, calls you “daddy” for the first time or “takes the stage” (sports, dance, play, etc.) and gives a performance so awesome you cannot believe they are yours — moments that make life worth living. Guys, these moments are the stuff we were put on this Earth to experience. Don’t miss these moments!

Kids grow up quickly and missed opportunities are exactly that — missed. From the commercial, a dad never says no to dress up and a dad builds the best forts!

7) Respect Your Kids Mother

Did you notice in the commercial when the dad grabs the coffee and passes it to his wife? He says, “Hot stuff coming through…the wife and the coffee.” One of the best things you can do for your kids is to love and respect their mom.

If you’re a single dad (or divorced), respecting your kid’s mother is still a good idea. When a child sees parents respecting each other, they are more likely to feel accepted and respected…so man up and show respect!

8) Your Job Is Never Done

Even after your kids grow up, perhaps finish college and leave home, they will still look to you for wisdom and advice. Your kids might continue their education, have financial questions, get a new job, plan a wedding, fill in the blank ________ and you will continue to play an important part in their lives. Work hard, be a compass, leave a legacy and dad hard!

Being a dad is AWESOME…how do you Dad?

i Tribal Worldwide (July 21st, 2014). Introducing Peanut Butter Cheerios: The Official Cereal of Dadhood. Retreived from: http://tribalworldwide.com/news/work/...

                    

It’s Not About Religion…It’s About Relationship

Show of hands. How many times have you been in conversation with people and they want nothing to do with the story of the Gospel, because they connect it with religion?

Even though most of us don’t live out what we believe, how many Christ seekers struggle with questions like; What happens when I die? Is it ok for Christians to divorce? Do I literally have to give my local church 10% of my gross pay? Did David really sleep with another man’s wife? Is the Old Testament relevant? Does purity equal worth (woman caught in adultery)? I could go on and on!

Religion tries to answer life’s questions and more, but how does Jesus answer such questions? Growing up in the church I’ve learned that religion is more about answers, order, predictability — not about people. It’s more of a systematized theology.

If you’ve spent some time walking it out on the road of life, the experience is vividly clear that life is messy and it’s not really about any of those things. We could argue that religion has it’s place, but Jesus shows us through His time on Earth that the order of things might be off. What do I mean by that? When religion eclipses humanity, it overshadows grace and mercy with power.

When religion is in first place, leaders become self-righteous and followers become hypocrites.
—Andy Stanley

So what is religion?

Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary breaks it down like this: The belief in a god or in a group of gods; An organized system of beliefs, ceremonies, and rules used to worship a god or a group of gods; A personal set or institutionalized system of religious attitudes, beliefs, and practices; or A cause, principle, or system of beliefs held to with ardor and faith.

Appears that defining “religion” is not so easy. Many attempts have been made and many people focus on a very narrow definition that matches their own religion, but few if any others. Some exclude beliefs and practices that many people passionately defend as religious. Some definitions equate “religion” with “Christianity,” and thus define two out of every three humans in the world as non-religious.

That’s what I love about the life of Jesus! He turns religion inside out and puts it right on its head. Jesus and the religious leaders believed the Law of Moses were important, they also believed that people were important. What they argued over was how you prioritized them. In story after story Jesus prioritized people which put Him at odds with the religious leaders. Right?

One of the areas we find this contention was the rules of engagement pertaining to the Sabbath. There are a handful of stories that you probably know, but here is what Jesus says to the religious leaders, “the Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath!” (Mark 2:27) It’s not like God had all these rules and thought, “I got all these great laws…I need to create some people to keep them.”

The Law is for the people, not the other way around.

Putting the law before people is not a new idea. In the Old Testament we find people got in the habit of breaking the laws, treating others bad and making a sacrifice to make it all right again. This would happen, over and over again. Sound familiar? It should, because we do it all the time thinking we’ve found God’s loophole.

What does God say about this cycle? Read Isaiah 1:11-17. God tells us time and time again to treat people well and make a sacrifice (today it would be repent) when there was an exception. Problem is that we’ve made the sacrifice a rule! How do these verses challenge most people’s views of God? What do they tell us about what He values?

Oh, about the Law… “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” -Matthew 22:37–40

So lets bring this all together…

Jesus consistently prioritized people over religion, customs, and traditions. Is it difficult for you to believe that God values you above His own rules? This makes all religious people nervous, doesn’t it!

Jesus didn’t die for rules and principles, He died for people. Jesus didn’t die for the law, He died for the lawless. Jesus didn’t die for a set of rules, He died for rule breakers. Jesus didn’t die for a view, He died for you! You can know with certainty that you are more important than God’s view of religion because God’s view of you was defined by his Son’s view from the blood-stained cross He hung on with His arms opened wide towards us. Telling us how much He loves us!

So are we clear on religion?

Adapted from: Why in the World, Putting Religion In Its Place by Andy Stanley.

Image credit: Jesus is my Savior, religion is not.. By Meliza Celeridad via Flickr. © All rights reserved.

                    

Almost All Women Stand By Their Men; Very Few Men Stand By Their Women

I just came in from walking the dog on a beautiful New England Sunday afternoon to write this weeks article, when I started to rummage through one of my journals to figure out what to write about. Among the almost illegible handwritten notes and papers stuffed between the pages a pamphlet fell out titled, “Living By Vows”

After taking a few moments to read through it I was really touched by the love and commitment the author demonstrated to his ailing wife. I share this because I spent the morning with my fiance enjoying a nice breakfast at a local coffee shop in downtown Concord, NH and I find this pamphlet timely as we begin to write our vows.

In a society where many marriages have been reduced to a contract with an exit clause or a “whats in it for me” proposition, I hope sharing the powerful message reorients us to whats really important and the power of our spoken words “I do!” After Columbia International University’s President Robertson McQuilkin’s wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, these were his ruminations back in 1990 on what he had learned from his years of ministering to her, and being ministered to in return.

Living By Vows

It has been a decade since that day in Florida when Muriel, my wife, repeated to the couple vacationing with us the story she had told just five minutes earlier. Funny, I thought, that’s never happened before. But it began to happen occasionally.

Three years later, when Muriel was hospitalized for tests on her heart, a young doctor called me aside. “You may need to think about the possibility of Alzheimer’s,” he said. I was incredulous. These young doctors are so presumptuous—and insensitive. Muriel was doing the same things she had always done, for the most part. True, we had stopped entertaining in our home—no small loss for the president of a thriving seminary and Bible college. She was a great cook and hostess, but she was having increasing difficulty planning menus. Family meals she could handle, but with guests we could not risk missing a salad and dessert, for example.

And, yes, she was having uncommon difficulty painting a portrait of me, which the college and seminary board—impressed by her earlier splendid portrait of my predecessor—had requested. But Alzheimer’s? While I had barely heard of the disease, a dread began to lurk around the fringes of my consciousness.

When her memory deteriorated further, we went to Joe Tabor, a neurologist friend, who gave her the full battery of tests and, by elimination, confirmed that she had Alzheimer’s. But because she had none of the typical physical deterioration, there was some question. We went to the Duke University Medical Center, believing we should get the best available second opinion. My heart sank as the doctor asked her to name the Gospels and she looked pleadingly at me for help. But she quickly bounced back and laughed at herself. She was a little nervous, perhaps, but nothing was going to get her down.

This time we accepted the verdict. And we determined from the outset not to chase around the country every new “miracle” treatment we might hear about. Little did I know the day was coming when we would be urged-on average, once a week-to pursue every variety of treatment: vitamins, exorcism, T chemicals, this guru, that healer. How could I even look into them all, let alone pursue them? I was grateful to friends who made suggestions, because each was an expression of love. But for us, we would trust the Lord to work a miracle in Muriel if he so desired, or work a miracle in me if he did not.

One day the WMHK station manager, the program manager, and the producer of my wife’s morning radio program, “Looking Up,” asked for an appointment. I knew an occasional program she had produced was not used, but the response to her monologue of upbeat encouragement continued to be strong. Though the program was designed for women, businessmen often told me how they arranged their morning affairs so they could catch the program.

As the appointment began, the three executives seemed uneasy. After a few false starts, I caught on. They were reluctantly letting me know that an era was ending. Only months before they had talked of national syndication. I tried to help them out. “Are you meeting with me to tell us that Muriel cannot continue?” They seemed relieved that their painful message was out and none of them had to say it. So, I thought, her public ministry is over. No more conferences, TV, radio. I should have guessed the time had come.

She did not think so, however. She may have lost the radio program, but she insisted on accepting invitations to speak, even though invariably she would come home crushed and bewildered that her train of thought was lost and things did not go well. Gradually, reluctantly, she gave up public ministry.

Still, she could counsel the many young people who sought her out, she could drive and shop, or write her children. The letters did not always make sense, but then, the children would say, “Mom always was ,a bit spacy.” She also volunteered to read textbooks for a blind graduate student. The plan was to put them on tape so that others could use them. I was puzzled that those responsible never used them, until it dawned on me that reading and writing were going the way of art and public speaking. She was disappointed with each failure and frustration, but only momentarily. She would bounce back with laughter and have another go at it.

Muriel never knew what was happening to her, though occasionally when there was a reference to Alzheimer’s on TV she would muse aloud, “I wonder if I’ll ever have that?” It did not seem painful for her, but it was a slow dying for me to watch the vibrant, creative, articulate person I knew and loved gradually dimming out.

I approached the college board of trustees with the need to begin the search for my successor. I told them that when the day came that Muriel needed me full-time, she would have me. I hoped that would not be necessary till I reached retirement, but at 57 it seemed unlikely I could hold on till 65. They should begin to make plans. But they intended for me to stay on forever, I guess, and made no move. That’s not realistic, and probably not very responsible, I thought, though I appreciated the affirmation.

So began years of struggle with the question of what should be sacrificed: ministry or caring for Muriel. Should I put the kingdom of God first, “hate” my wife and, for the sake of Christ and the kingdom, arrange for institutionalization? Trusted, lifelong friends—wise and godly—urged me to do this.

“Muriel would become accustomed to the new environment quickly.” Would she? Would anyone love her at all, let alone love her as I do? I had often seen the empty, listless faces of those lined up in wheelchairs along the corridors of such places, waiting, waiting for the fleeting visit of some loved one. In such an environment, Muriel would be tamed only with drugs or bodily restraints, of that I was confident.

People who do not know me well have said, “Well, you always said, ‘God first, family second, ministry third.’ ” But I never said that. To put God first means that all other responsibilities he gives are first, too. Sorting out responsibilities that seem to conflict, however, is tricky business.

In 1988 we planned our first family reunion since the six children had left home, a week in a mountain retreat. Muriel delighted in her children and grandchildren, and they in her. Banqueting with all those gourmet cooks, making a quilt that pictured our life, scene by scene, playing games, singing, picking wild mountain blueberries was marvelous. We planned it as the celebration of our “fortieth” anniversary, although actually it was the thirty-ninth. We feared that by the fortieth she would no longer know us.

But she still knows us—three years later. She cannot comprehend much, nor express many thoughts, and those not for sure. But she knows whom she loves, and lives in happy oblivion to almost everything else. She is such a delight to me. I don’t have to care for her, I get to. One blessing is the way she is teaching me so much—about love, for example, God’s love. She picks flowers outside—anyone’s—and fills the house with them.

Lately she has begun to pick them inside, too. Someone had given us a beautiful Easter lily, two stems with four or five lilies on each, and more to come. One day I came into the kitchen and there on the window sill over the sink was a vase with a stem of lilies in it. I’ve learned to “go with the flow” and not correct irrational behavior. She means no harm and does not understand what should be done, nor would she remember a rebuke. Nevertheless, I did the irrational—I told her how disappointed I was, how the lilies would soon die, the buds would never bloom, and please do not break off the other stem.

The next day our youngest son, soon to leave for India came from Houston for his next-to-last visit. I told Kent of my rebuke of his mother and how bad I felt about it. As we sat on the porch swing, savoring each moment together, his mother came to the door with a gift of love for me: she carefully laid the other stem of lilies on the table with a gentle smile and turned back into the house. I said simply, “Thank you.” Kent said, “You’re doing better, Dad!”

Muriel cannot speak in sentences now, only in phrases and words, and often words that make little sense: “no” when she means “yes,” for example. But she can say one sentence, and she says it often: “I love you.”

She not only says it, she acts it. The board arranged for a companion to stay in our home so I could go daily to the office. During those two years it became increasingly difficult to keep Muriel home. As soon as I left, she would take out after. me. With me, she was content; without me, she was distressed, sometimes terror stricken. The walk to school is a mile round trip. She would make that trip as many as ten times a day. Sometimes at night, when I helped her undress, I found bloody feet. When I told our family doctor, he choked up. “Such love,” he said simply. Then, after a moment, “I have a theory that the characteristics developed across the years come out at times like these.” I wish I loved God like that-desperate to be near him at all times. Thus she teaches me, day by day.

Friends and family often ask, “How are you doing?” meaning, I would take it, “How do you feel?” I am at a loss to respond. There is that subterranean grief that will not go away. I feel just as alone as if I had never known her as she was, I suppose, but the loneliness of the night hours comes because I did know her. Do I grieve for her loss or mine? Further, there is the sorrow that comes from my increasing difficulty in meeting her needs.

But I guess my friends are asking not about her needs, but about mine. Or perhaps they wonder, in the contemporary jargon, how I am “coping,” as they reflect on how the reputed indispensable characteristics of a good marriage have slipped away, one by one.

I came across the common contemporary wisdom in this morning’s newspaper in a letter to a national columnist: “I ended the relationship because it wasn’t meeting my needs,” the writer explained. The counselor’s response was predictable: “What were your needs that didn’t get met by him in the relationship? Do you still have these same needs? What would he have to do to fill these needs? Could he do it?” Needs for communication, understanding, affirmation, common interests, sexual fulfillment—the list goes on. If the needs are not met, split. He offered no alternatives.

I once reflected on the eerie irrelevance of every one of those criteria for me. But I am not wired for introspection; I am more oriented outward and toward action and the future. I even feel an occasional surge of exhilaration as I find my present assignment more challenging than running an institution’s complex ministry. Certainly greater creativity and flexibility are needed.

I have long lists of “coping strategies,” which have to be changed weekly, sometimes daily. Grocery shopping together may have been recreation, but it is not so much fun when Muriel begins to load other people’s carts and take off with them, disappearing into the labyrinth of supermarket aisles. Or how do you get a person to eat or take a bath when she steadfastly refuses? It is not like meeting a $10 million budget or designing a program to grasp some emerging global opportunity, to be sure. And it is not as public or exhilarating. But it demands greater resources than I could have imagined, and thus highlights more clearly than ever my own inadequacies, as well as provides constant opportunity to draw on our Lord’s vast reservoir of resources.

As she needed more and more of me, I wrestled daily with the question of who gets me full-time-Muriel or Columbia Bible College and Seminary? Dr. Tabor advised me not to make any decision based on my desire to see Muriel stay contented. “Make your plans apart from that question. Whether or not you can be successful in your dreams for the college and seminary or not, I cannot judge, but I can tell you now, you will not be successful with Muriel.”

When the time came, the decision was firm. It took no great calculation. It was a matter of integrity. Had I not promised, 42 years before, “in sickness and in health…till death do us part”?

This was no grim duty to which I stoically resigned, however. It was only fair. She had, after all, cared for me for almost four decades with marvelous devotion; now it was my turn. And such a partner she was! If I took care of her for 40 years, I would never be out of her debt.

But how could I walk away from the responsibility of a ministry God had blessed so signally during our 22 years at Columbia Bible College and Seminary?

Not easily. True, many dreams had been fulfilled. But so many dreams were yet on the drawing board. And the peerless team God had brought together-a team not just of professionals, but of dear friends-how could I bear to leave them? Resignation was painful; but the right path was not difficult to discern. Whatever Columbia needed, it did not need a part-time, distracted leader. It is better to move out and let God designate a leader to step in while the momentum is continuing.

No, it was not a choice between two loves. Sometimes that kind of choice becomes necessary, but this time responsibilities did not conflict. I suppose responsibilities in the will of God never conflict (though my evaluation of those responsibilities is fallible). Am I making the right choice at the right time in the right way? I hope so. This time it seemed clearly in the best interest of the ministry for me to step down, even if board and administrators thought otherwise. Both loves-for Muriel and for Columbia Bible College and Seminary dictated the same choice. There was no conflict of loves, then, or of obligations.

I have been startled by the response to the announcement of my resignation. Husbands and wives renew marriage vows, pastors tell the story to their congregations. It was a mystery to me, until a distinguished oncologist, who lives constantly with dying people, told me, “Almost all women stand by their men; very few men stand by their women.” Perhaps people sensed this contemporary tragedy and somehow were helped by a simple choice I considered the only option.

It is all more than keeping promises and being fair, however. As I watch her brave descent into oblivion, Muriel is the joy of my life. Daily I discern new manifestations of the kind of person she is, the wife I always loved. I also see fresh manifestations of God’s love-the God I long to love more fully.


-By Robertson McQuilkin

So men, here is your challenge. When you say your vows to your wife-to-be, remember your high calling from God: Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it.

Robertson McQuilkin’s story was published in Christianity Today in 1990 and was printed then printed as a free pamphlet by Columbia International University.

Base Image credit: Rings. By Andrew Malone via Flickr. Labeled for noncommercial reuse with modification.

                    

The Four Stones

This is one of a handful of poems that you will find in Heartstone. Hope you enjoy.

The Four Stones

Here on my knees I cry out to You, my Lord.


Tear-stained, wounded by the choices I have made


Seeking the world’s view of success, coveting the award.


Got what I wanted; the dream shatters; it begins to fade.

Self-righteousness and pride, thinking I had all the answers.


Never giving in. Always my way; never able to compromise.


Convinced I could work things out…coming to my end, I admit I was wrong!


Needing a completing love, desiring to be whole, Lord, help me to rise!

Don’t love the world’s ways. Don’t love the world’s goods. Love of the world squeezes out love for the Father. —1 John 2:15 (MSG)

This bitter darkness surrounds me, feeling so alone.


Reaching out for Him, faced with this choice now,


Again I cry out to Him, asking Him, How?

With a gentle whisper I hear, “Just remove the stone!”

With nothing left, I surrender…

Searching for my way, giving it my all, I try.


I could never be this strong without You, I need You at my side!


Stumbling, trying to find my way; without You I am lost.


Now I know; I am nothing without You, my Adonai.

Your light begins to shine; it surrounds me,


Broken and humbled; You change me, restoring my spirit!


Never judging me for my faults, just unconditionally loving me,


My Jesus, without You I don’t know where I’d be.

Please stay with me, guide me through my mistakes.


Holding on to Your promise, knowing You will never leave my side,


I love the way You lift me up, when I stumble, when my heart breaks.


To have You in my life is enough; Spirit of God be my guide!

You are everywhere! You surround me; I can feel your awesome love!


Longing for that day, to embrace the beauty of Your face


Whenever I lose my way, my Abba…You always make it okay!


Shining a light so I can see, blessing me with peace and grace.

You are here with me now and You calm my fears.


Always leading me back with Your gentle sweet song,


I am forever grateful; You’ve given me so much!


Its the way you lift me up! You’re where I belong!

I will serve You forever; follow You with everything I have…

For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father. —Romans 8:15 (KJV)

Out of this cold darkness and into the light.


He is here, showing me all of His majesty, all of his might!


He has all the answers; He hears all my prayers.


I know who I am now; He took away all of my cares!

From the shadows of the valley to face these unknowns,


For clarity of thought, My Lord brings me to a mountaintop.


He whispers to me, “My precious one; gather up four stones.”


Knowing my path, I will stand, rise up, persevere…I will not STOP!

Hearing the spoken truth, I gather up four stones…

I place the first stone into my hand.

For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him. —2 Corinthians 5:21 (KJV)

The giant of blame reminds me of all my failures. I place this first stone into my sling! By faith, I aim, and I fire! I am the righteousness of God!

I place the second stone into my hand.

With the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved. Those who enter into Christ’s being-here-for-us no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud. A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death. —Romans 8:1, 2 (MSG)

My Abba poured out His love on Calvary! Through the sacrifice of Jesus the law of the Spirit of life has set me free from the law of sin and death. I place the second stone into my sling! By faith, I aim, and I fire! Jesus has set me free!


I place the third stone into my hand.

Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes. —Mathew 6:34 (MSG)

Hope gives us strength to rest in our Father’s arms, where He completely consumes all of our worries of tomorrow. Psalms 46:10, “Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.”

I place the third stone into my sling! By faith, I aim, and I fire! He is God!

I place the fourth stone into my hand.

Christ arrives right on time to make this happen. He didn’t, and doesn’t, wait for us to get ready. He presented himself for this sacrificial death when we were far too weak and rebellious to do anything to get ourselves ready. And even if we hadn’t been so weak, we wouldn’t have known what to do anyway. We can understand someone dying for a person worth dying for, and we can understand how someone good and noble could inspire us to selfless sacrifice. —Romans 5:6, 7 (MSG)

Self is the biggest giant we face! We must deny ourselves! Lay all of your cares at the feet of Jesus. Then rise up, turn and walk away; without giving it a second thought.

I place the fourth stone into my sling! By faith, I aim, and I fire! I give you my all! I will serve You forever!

“Then said David to the Philistine, Thou comest to me with a sword, and with a spear, and with a shield: but I come to thee in the name of the LORD of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom thou hast defied. This day will the LORD deliver thee into mine hand; and I will smite thee, and take thine head from thee; and I will give the carcasses of the host of the Philistines this day unto the fowls of the air, and to the wild beasts of the earth; that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel. And all this assembly shall know that the LORD saveth not with sword and spear: for the battle is the LORD’s, and he will give you into our hands. And it came to pass, when the Philistine arose, and came and drew nigh to meet David, that David hasted, and ran toward the army to meet the Philistine. And David put his hand in his bag, and took thence a stone, and slung it, and smote the Philistine in his forehead, that the stone sunk into his forehead; and he fell upon his face to the earth. So David prevailed over the Philistine with a sling and with a stone, and smote the Philistine, and slew him; but there was no sword in the hand of David. —1 Samuel 17:45-50 (KJV)

Do not fear the unknown! He is here with you; you’re not alone!

God heals you when you’re broken!

Let Him In! Standing at the door waiting; He waits for it to open!

I’ve told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I’ve conquered the world. —John 16:33 (MSG)

(Excerpt from Heartstone Copyright © 2009 by Tim Young. All rights reserved.)

Prayer:

Father,

I have been fighting the giants in my life for too long. Father I know that you have the power to bring them down, as the battle is yours. I know that you have to power to defeat them, as the battle is yours. In the name of Jesus, through the authority of your Spirit inside of me, I command these giants in my life bound and defeated. I now stand in the victory of your son Jesus Christ. In your name, I have the power to move forward without these giants taunting me, and trying to destroy all that you have created inside of me. Thank you Father.

In The Name Of Jesus, Amen!

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Why Does Egypt Always Look So Good In The Rear View Mirror?

It was during this place of desolation, my journey to His Mountain that the Lord spoke to my heart with a resounding clarity; “Truth, love, obedience, and do My will!” This refreshing revelation would become the very foundation stones for the path that He was preparing before me, the path that I had to walk.

We felt like we’d been sent to death row that it was all over for us. As it turned out, it was the best thing that could have happened. Instead of trusting in our own strength or wits to get out of it, we were forced to trust God totally—not a bad idea since he’s the God who raises the dead! And he did it, rescued us from certain doom. And he’ll do it again, rescuing us as many times as we need rescuing. —2 Corinthians 1:9, 10 (MSG)

As I began to slowly release my grip of the fear rooted in my brokenness, the soft gentle wind of His Spirit began to prepare me for my exodus out of the Egypt I had created in my life. This journey would be brushed with plagues, an angry Pharaoh, many times of doubting God and overwhelming obstacles to overcome. Remember, it didn’t take much time for God to get the Israelites out of Egypt, but it took years to get Egypt out of the Israelites. I was no different.

Many of us begin this journey from bondage to freedom only to walk so far with the Lord. We then become intoxicated with the sweet wine of complacency and again buy into the continued false promises of this world. We come to a place where Egypt looks so good in the rear view mirror, even though it was our place of bondage, and we begin to complain. One can almost see the Lord rolling His eyes and shaking His head, saying, “If you only knew.” This is a very dangerous place to get to and many of us sadly arrive here. It is a place where satan prowls around like a lion searching for those he can devour, lurking and looking for any area of weakness in us that has not gone to the cross so that he can use it at a strategic time. The enemy waits patiently for us to get to this place, so he can strike—and he is usually successful in taking us down. This is a place where satan will call your bluff.

Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You’re not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It’s the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. —1 Peter 5:8, 9 (MSG)

I was truly hoping for a short, easy sprint as so many of us do, but this race I had to run began at the base of a mountain, the mountain of God. He had brought me here to this place of new beginnings to have my mountaintop experience, to show me the way home to the Promised Land.

I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out–plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. —Jeremiah 29:11 (MSG)

I still could not see the beautiful picture He was painting, but when He brought me to the mountaintop I realized that He had a plan and a purpose for my life. Walking with Him began to calm the raging storm within me, which gave me clarity to see that the joy of the Kingdom lay on the other side of the comforts of this world!

(Excerpt from Heartstone Copyright © 2009 by Tim Young. All rights reserved.)

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