Tim Young's Blog, page 3

How Poetry Can Reveal The Masculine Heart

One of the foundational pillars of Heartstone Journey is: Helping men discover their authentic manhood in Jesus Christ

If you Google ‘masculinity’ you will be presented with numerous definitions of what true manhood is. Yes, getting to the core of what manhood is includes the personification of courage, bravery and sacrifice…but many have bought into the narrative that these terms exclude the creative side of men.

To level set things…here is how authentic manhood is defined here on Heartstone Journey.

Authentic manhood is not a call to be macho or a lunk head. It’s a call for men to be strengthened in their inner core, in their souls, in their character, in their integrity and in their fidelity to the truth of the Living God. Authentic men will step up in the home and lead with Godly leadership, they will love their wives sacrificially, they will pursue their wives and serve them with intentionality.

Creativity.

Everyone is creative and that creativity is woven into the fabric of our DNA by God Himself. God made humanity to be creative people and all of us has a divinely-inspired impulse to create stuff. Creativity is not an easy endeavor and usually takes hard work. It takes hard work to: build a garden, make an engine, draw a painting, make a house, make a piece of furniture, write a book, write a poem, fill in the blank _____. Men hear this — your creative side does not somehow diminish your masculinity, it magnifies it!

Here’s the fire-pit and log chairs I made.

I love working the land I’ve been blessed with, and my God given creativity shows up in various ways. Building things with my hands such as decks, sheds, room additions, fire-pits; creating things in cyberspace like computer programs and websites; cooking a gourmet meal, writing (publishing) a book, articles for various sites and poetry.

Of the creative things mentioned, I’d like to highlight writing poetry. Yup, poetry…because “real men” are romantics at heart!

History reveals many stories that include great warrior poets, as adept in the battlefield as they were with their creative words. A great majority of poetry has been written by men and yet poetry has somehow evolved into a “less manly” affair. The First World War became known as the Poet’s War, many Japanese samurai were poets and even Benjamin Franklin even recognized that writing poetry accelerated his development as a writer.

Here is a sampling of poetry that has inspired me and written by other men:

Sea Fever by John Masefield

Invictus by William Ernest Henley

Pioneers! O Pioneers by Walt Whitman

Ulysses by Alfred Lord Tennyson (featured in the Dead Poet’s Society)

Who Will Cry for the Little Boy? by Antwone Fisher

If you cannot be a poet, be the poem.

-David Carradine

Here is a sampling of the poetry I’ve published on Heartstone and in my book ‘Heartstone: A Journey out of the midnight of my soul’:

The Four Stones

It’s So Hard To Say Goodbye!

Tears

My Hiding Place

Men, you have creative side given to you by God and He wants you to use those gifts to benefit humanity and to bring Him honor. You have gifts that no one else has and God wants you to steward those gifts because; your family needs your creative gifts, your friends need your creative gifts and we all need your creative gifts.

Don’t waste your creative gifts. Stop with all the excuses and start making stuff for the glory of God!

Base Image credit: Tree Engraved Poetry – Pixaby. Free for commercial use.

Why Leadership Was The Game Changer In Super Bowl LI

Wow, what an amazing game!

Viewers, social media, the mainstream media, and fans at Super Bowl parties across the nation thought Super Bowl LI was going to the Atlanta Falcons as the game clock ticked away into the third quarter.

After a disastrous, and quite painful-to-watch first half for the Patriots, the pundits said there was no chance the Patriots could recover from their deficit.

The Falcons now have a 91.6% chance of winning Super Bowl LI. Live analysis: https://t.co/mk4bqHgeQr

— Wall Street Journal (@WSJ) February 6, 2017

Then…

The Patriots kept their focus and worked together as a team to pull off one of the greatest comebacks in sports history…scoring 25 unanswered points, handing them their fifth NFL championship in the first Super Bowl overtime game. They were deep in the hole (28-3) midway through the third quarter before rewriting history with their epic, 34-28 comeback victory over the Falcons. If you remember, the Patriots set the bar with their 10-point comeback two years ago against the Seahawks.

Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never—in nothing, great or small, large or petty—never give in, except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the OPPONENT!
-Winston Churchill [emphasis mine]

The momentum was against them, the statistics were against them and fans were on the edge of writing them off. Winning was an almost impossible reality for the Patriots, but after Matt Ryan’s fumble on a sack and a spectacular catch by Julian Edelman…they never stopped coming and never gave up.

So what was the game changer for Super Bowl LI?

Leadership!

Leadership that is courageous enough to stay the course, despite unthinkable circumstances changes the game. This kind of leadership not only redefines the game, it redefines the playing field and even the competition. This kind of leadership finds that inner strength to rise above mediocrity, step into the uncharted waters, hammer complacency, and take extreme risk to lead the team through tough times.

Sure the Super Bowl is just a game and can’t compare to the harsh realities we face in life, but the same attitude we saw in the Patriots leadership can be applied to life’s challenges.

Here’s the kind of leadership I saw from the New England Patriots that changed the game:

The kind of leadership that doesn’t loose focus on things that are outside their control. Instead, it focuses on things you have influence and control over.

The kind of leadership that faces the fear! When it comes to fear, it chooses to face that fear and not let it defeat them.

The kind of leadership that understands that the realities of any given circumstance can be daunting and never static. In the midst of life’s difficulties it chooses to courageously embrace the change and keep moving forward.

The kind of leadership that puts gratitude over grumbling. It understands that gratitude transforms perspectives and changes the whole orientation toward solutions.

The kind of leadership that chooses their attitude. It’s figured out that attitude will determine the quality of life that can be a contagious inspiration to others.

So when you’re facing what appears to be an impossible situation, pull up your boot straps, embrace this kind of leadership and face the headwinds head on.

Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.
-Harriet Beecher Stowe

Oh and one last comment on the game. Perhaps people should remember that patriots never quit!

Photo credit: The Associated Press.

                  

Men, Stop Wasting Time And Find Your Courage!

We now are going to war. This is the beginning of the end.

The hour is late, and you are needed. We need your heart.

If there were something more I could do to help you see, I wish to God I could have done it. Tears fill my eyes for fear I have not done enough. You must turn, then, back to myth — tomorrow and the next day and the next. Read the battle of Helm’s Deep; it’s chapter seven of The Two Towers. Watch any of the trilogy of those films.

And the opening of Gladiator. That is where we are now. Or, if you can bear it, watch the battle of the Ia Drang Valley in We Were Soldiers. It is so deeply true to what we must face, will face. Linger over the climax of The Prince of Egypt, where God goes to war against Egypt to set his people free. If the images of the Exodus do not move you, I don’t know what will.

We are now far into this epic story that every great myth points to. We have reached the moment where we, too, must find our courage and rise up to recover our hearts and fight for the hearts of others. The hour is late, and much time has been wasted. Aslan is on the move; we must rally to him at the stone table. We must find Gepetto lost at sea. We must ride hard, ride to Helm’s Deep and join the last great battle for Middle Earth. Grab everything God sends you. You’ll need everything that helps you see with the eyes of your heart, including those myths, and the way they illumine for us the words God has given in Scripture, to which “you will do well to pay attention…as to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts” (2 Peter 1:19).

From Daily Reading by John Eldredge, posted November 2016. Copyright by Ransomed Heart. All rights reserved.

                  

What Our Daughters Need To Know About The Women’s March

By now I’m almost certain you’ve had exposure to the Women’s March that took place on January 21, 2017 in Washington, DC. Being fair and objective, it was definitely an impressive display from a numbers perspective for the amount of women who mobilized. For all of the flaws of the protest, which I will dive into in a moment, at least it was reported as mostly peaceful and nonviolent unlike the protests during the inauguration. This is America and under our Constitution a free people have a right to protest as long as it’s a lawful assembly.

As a dad who has raised a daughter and grandfather to an amazing granddaughter, this protest doesn’t define the authentic qualities of womanhood. Yes, those who organized and attended felt a deep sense of mission, but here are some of the flaws of this event I wanted to highlight:

Adult Themes Alert

Many participants were seen wearing pink knitted beanies with cat ears, called “pussy hats,” as a symbol of solidarity among protestors. Yeah, I get that they represent a protest to Trump’s remarks about grabbing a woman’s private parts (which I don’t condone)…but where was the outcry when the likes of Bill Clinton actually did it? Degradation and objectification of women doesn’t change because the perpetrator has different political viewpoints.

Then you have headliner celebrities who have made millions living in this great country…fly in on their private jets and wine/dine at five star hotels. Two in particular who stood out were Madonna (who made her career objectifying women) and Ashley Judd.

Their narratives included….

A profanity laced speech with f-bombs and making a reference to offered to perform oral sex on anyone who voted for former Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton, and Ashley Judd. I also having a tough time rationalizing why hundreds of thousands of women carried colorful signs alluding to reproductive rights. Here is a sampling: “My body my choice.” “Our pussies are not up for grabs, neither are our rights!” “My little pussy, not yours!” “You wouldn’t try to regulate my vagina if it fired bullets!,” and “If abortions are murder than blowjobs are cannibalism!”

To expose the lack of ‘clarity of focus’ absent from the march, check out this Street Justice segment with Judge Jeanine Pirro as she interviews women who were participating.

I could go on and on, but wow…just wow!

Having a fiancée, a daughter and a granddaughter…of course I support women’s rights. The women who participated in this march went way beyond equal pay, voting rights and equal opportunity with men…they turned it up to 11.

I would like to know what rights they think they don’t have living here in the freedom of America? I would also like to understand why they didn’t focus their outrage towards countries where women are persecuted, oppressed and raped routinely without impunity. Please ladies, exactly what rights are you being denied?

From what I’ve read, heard and seen…the real women were absent from this march. It looked more like a bunch of angry females spewing female empowerment. Real women are wonderful and understand that men are not the enemy. Everything an authentic man does is to cherish and support women everyday as husbands, fireman, policeman, soldiers, construction workers, fill in the blank _________. Examples of real female empowerment are Carly Hoilman from the Conservative Review share this, “Needless to say, I’m happy the march is over. I’ve never felt so keenly aware of how broken our culture is — with hundreds of thousands of militant women around the world boldly asserting their right to kill unborn children, threatening any man or women who dares to stand in their way. How confidently did they assume that no reasonable person would object to their noble cause. How wrong they were.”

During the last few decades our culture has redefined the meaning and responsibilities of men and women in society and in the home. Masculinity and femininity, as intended from God’s original design, have been put on the endangered list. Let’s rise up and stand for God’s good and original design as Jesus makes clear in Mark 10:6, “But from the beginning of the creation, God made them male and female.” Our lives are part of God’s creative act, not some self-willed postmodern cultural labels of society.

Ladies, don’t buy into this “man hating” narrative and don’t accept the counterfeit. Authentic manhood is not a call to be macho or a lunk head. It’s a call for men to be strengthened in their inner core, in their souls, in their character, in their integrity and in their fidelity to the truth of the Living God. Authentic men will step up in the home and lead with Godly leadership, they will love their wives sacrificially, they will pursue their wives and serve them with intentionality.

The real women I know appreciate the courage of their man, who will lay his life down to protect her. They know their man loves their children and wants to provide for and protect them. They know their man wants to be a dad: a son’s greatest hero and a daughter’s first love…calling her “princesses” without being patriarchal. They know their man likes to take risks because he likes to push his limits and test his strength. They know their man likes to be challenged in his career and in his personal pursuits, without losing sight of what important…his family. They know their man works every day to better himself to be a better man than he was yesterday.

Oh and men, listen up! To be a leader, a lover, and a servant is to accommodate your life to the life of the gift God has given you — your wife. Give up your life for hers and when you stand before God, He will say, “Well done, good and faithful servant!”

Image credit: Protesters walk on Saturday during the Women’s March on Washington by Mario Tama/Getty Image.

                  

How Four Stones Taught Me To Live In The Moment

We spend so much time dwelling on the past, thinking about the future or working 80+ hours a week…and for what?

In the 24th chapter of Exodus, God speaks to Moses and says, “Come up to Me on the mountain and stay here…” Camping out on this for a bit, I realized that God understands human nature. God knew that Moses would spend lots of energy making the climb to the top of the mountain. And, like all of us, when we get to the top of the mountain we’re already thinking about and planning our descent.

What most of us miss is that we won’t pause and be present on the “mountain top”…and we miss out on what’s right there in front of us. Because we can’t unplug or pause, we miss those awesome life moments of being in the moment with God, with our families, fill in the blank _______________.

The issue is — are our eyes are open to see what any given moment is revealing to us. Here is a snippet of my adventures where I started to understand the importance of living in the moment.

It was cold enough on the mountain top that my breath hung in the air around me. With each step I took, the cold air tightened its grip, slowly eroding what faith I had left. I began wrestling with my thoughts: “Did God really talk to me, or did I somehow convince myself that He did? Seriously, go to the top of the mountain and pick up four stones? There are millions of stones up here…what am I doing? What four stones? What if I don’t find them?” As the battle continued in my mind, with a pure act of the will I put aside theology, religion, and what I knew to be real and true. Arriving at the edge of despair, the wonderful and warm thought that God may have really spoken to me began to consume my thoughts. I had to know, I had to take a chance. I had to see if these four stones were real, so with pure faith I continued my hunt for the last and final stone in this surreal game of hide and seek. As if something was guiding me, I stopped, looked down, and picked up a stone, and I somehow knew that this was the final stone. I couldn’t explain it, but I knew. The final, fourth stone had taken some time to find because I had to break through the barrier of my own mind, but I had found it!

…a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones. —Ecclesiastes 3:5a (MSG)

Well, with my four stones, I headed back over to the foundation ruins to meet back up with my friend. The first thing he asked me was if I had found the stones, and as I opened my hand to reveal the four fractured pieces of stone on the backdrop of my black glove, to our amazement, they somehow fit together. I’m not kidding. These four stones fit together, forming almost a cross like shape when they were joined. I would find it hard to share this story if I did not have my friend as a witness to back it up.

I would later understand that these stones were significant. They would become the process of God that He would use for meaning along my journey.

(Excerpt from Heartstone Copyright © 2009 by Tim Young. All rights reserved.)

Here is a life truth that I learned on my hearthstone journey. Living life is not about being focused in the past or even on a future. It’s about being in every moment with God and to be ready for whatever God has prescribed for that moment to be.

May you slow down so you don’t miss anything. May you be fully present, right here and right now. May you see that the reality of God is right here among you and near you.

Base Image credit: Trekking Mountains- Pixaby. Free for commercial use.

                  

Why The Remake Of Ben-Hur Is About Forgiveness, Not Chariots!

The pile of books that I’d like to read keeps growing and so does the list of movies I’d like to watch. One of the movies on my watch list was the remake of Ben-Hur. So, recently after digging out from a New England snow storm…I made some dinner, poured a glass of wine and rented Ben-Hur.

Didn’t know what to expect from this remake since the 1959 film, based on Lew Wallace’s nineteenth century novel   

Looking Back At 2016

The new year has come and it feels like only yesterday that I was writing my 2015 year in review. Wow, where has the year gone? Since my last year in review a lot has happened on Heartstone Journey and in my own life. There is so much I could share, but here are some highlights:

My fiancée moved to my town (we don’t believe in living together before marriage) and marriage planning is in high gear. Oh, and she landed an awesome job advocating for children!
My daughter, a Criminal Justice and Psychology graduate from the University of Massachusetts, landed an awesome job in her field as a Psychology Counselor. She also became a certified equestrian instructor. I’m very proud of her!
My son is rock’n his Junior year at UNH. Landed a Technology Resource gig in the UNH Library and a fantastic Software Development internship. Proud of him too!
Kicked off the year with a family sleigh ride at Charmingfare Farm.
When the weather warmed up a bit we went back to Charmingfare Farm for a good old fashioned barnyard Easter egg hunt.
Over the Summer we took some much needed time off and rocked it hard at Cedar Point with the family. Also had fun living it up in our cabana at the water park and taking the Wave Runners out onto Lake Erie.
My book Heartstone continues to open doors to other great ministry opportunities such as the kick off of the Concord chapter of the New Hampshire Christian Business Network.
My fiancée and I headed north of Franconia Notch for a New England Fall Adventure.
Of course saw #ThisHappened in 2016 !


If you have raced with men on foot and they have worn you out, how can you compete with horses?
-Jeremiah 12:5

Now that you’ve spent some time navigating through highlights hand picked from the major social networks, I wanted to share some thoughts that I encourage you to take with you into the new year.

Just like last year…the themes in the “year in review” videos are very real, very sobering and are becoming more amplified. We have allowed society to pervert and confound Christian doctrines and have turned morality inside out and upside down. We seem to prefer erroneous and false doctrines of the truth, and we prefer an evil to an upright course of conduct. The agenda of this world is clear: to remove God from everything by denying the very conscience He has given us. Truth is ignored, virtue is ridiculed, evil is praised as good and liberating, and God-given moral standards are mocked as a narrow-minded thinking of past generations.

America is in trouble and we are in need of Divine intervention like never before — the next president will not be the hope we are looking for. Only Jesus Christ is the great hope for a nation rampant with sin and a people enraged with evil. God’s word tells us to, “Put your hope in the LORD both now and forevermore” (Psalm 131:3). It also tell us that, “When the earth totters, and all its inhabitants, it is God who keep steady its pillars. (Psalm 75:3). Remember, God is still on the throne!

Let these awe inspiring words of President Theodore Roosevelt stir something up inside of you as you head into 2017: “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don’t be afraid.
-Frederick Buechner

As the world seems to be falling apart around us, I encourage you to be bold as lions, rise above the fear and be hope to a broken people. It’s not time to give up…it’s time to rise up! Remember, you are the light of the world.

                  

Why Christmas Isn’t About Peace

As we step into the Christmas season we find ourselves caught up in the hustle and bustle of shopping to fill that space under the tree, making plans to be with our loved ones in the coziness of our homes to enjoy a nice dinner…and we ponder the joys this time of the season brings.

Christmas trees, white Christmas, Santa Claus, nativity scenes and all the symbols one would find on some card we pick out in the card aisle of our favorite store. Then there’s the yearly conflict on what to call the company party; a holiday or Christmas party. Can I say ‘Merry Christmas’ without getting fired? Is it a holiday tree or a Christmas tree? Is Jesus really the season or is it a pagan holiday? Is it a Christian holiday or is everyone included like on the coexist bumper stickers?

…the conflict of Christmas!

So let me ask you something, do you really think that Jesus traded Heaven for Earth to come and bring peace? Let’s see what the Bible tell us.

Do you think I have come to bring peace to the earth? No, I have come to divide people against each other! From now on families will be split apart, three in favor of me, and two against—or two in favor and three against. ‘Father will be divided against son and son against father; mother against daughter and daughter against mother; and mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law. -Luke 12:51-53

Not sure if you’ve heard this Christmas message before and it may come as a shock to you, but the real Christmas story is not about peace, harmony, and gathering with loved ones. The real Christmas story is about conflict…always has been, and it always will be. The Greek words translated “divide” and “division” (diamerizo and diamerismos) mean exactly that. They mean division, disunity.

Christmas from a heavenly perspective gives us the bigger picture of the battle taking place when God sent His Son into the world. The devil opposed it, pulled out all the stops to prevent it and it was a bloody affair. John Eldredge shares, the day is coming when the lion shall lie down with the lamb and we’ll beat swords into plowshares but for now it’s a battle. If you look around, you can see how this story it is still in play today.

Hostility toward Christians seems to escalate more and more each year. Nativity scenes in public places are coming under more scrutiny, many people/places don’t want the word Christmas spoken, atheists continue the assault on Christian values, and levels of Christian persecution around the world is trending upwards. These are all symptomatic of the conflict of Christmas.

Jesus Christ came to “bring…a sword” through every kind of peace that is not based on a personal relationship with Himself.
—Oswald Chambers

When Jesus showed up on the scene, the angels didn’t come with an “over the top” message of peace on earth they said this: “Glory to God in highest heaven, and peace on earth to those with whom God is pleased” (Luke 2:14).

Wait a minute, so what does this mean?

It means the only way we will have peace on earth is when we are pleasing to God. Jesus is the Great Divider because the cross is the dividing point of all humanity. What we do with Jesus Christ on the cross, in His death and resurrection determines our eternal destiny. The very nature this message is a call to salvation, it’s a call to come to Him, to come into the kingdom of salvation, to receive the forgiveness and redemption that He brings.

There is an epic battle going on for the human heart because rescuing your heart is everything. God is pursuing your heart with an invitation of life. To become fully alive with a new name, a purpose and a mission. The journey before you is a bold one: to let God rescue yours. So receive God’s gift of His Son, Jesus Christ — love in action…this is the Christmas message!

Base image credit: Empty Manger. Free for commercial use.

                  

What The Chicago Bulls Can Teach Us About Pride

Recently at our company weekly seminar we invited a guest speaker who lead a conversation about ‘The Pros and Cons of Keeping Score’. The core of the presentation focused around the idea that keeping score is something we all do whether it is comparing ourselves to some ideal or to others around us. There are pros and cons of keeping score with a thin line between moving forward positively and moving forward at the expense of self and relationships with others. It was a solid message that and got me thinking about a leadership story I heard using the events of the 1994 NBA Eastern Conference semifinals between the Chicago Bulls and the New York Knicks. The topic was pride and leadership. I’m not talking about the pride that aspires us to become better people, I’m talking about that insidious thing inside of us that keeps us from: celebrating others, admitting when we’re wrong, acknowledging when we need help, opening up, fill in the blank _____.

The vice I am talking of is Pride or Self-Conceit: and the virtue opposite to it, in Christian morals, is called Humility…According to Christian teachers, the essential vice, the utmost evil, is Pride. Unchastity, anger, greed, drunkenness, and all that, are mere flea bites in comparison.
—C.S. Lewis

Let’s roll the tape back to the year 1994 during the NBA Eastern Conference semifinals between the Chicago Bulls and the New York Knicks. The Bulls, already down two games of the best-of-seven series, were trying to prove that they could pull out a win without Michael Jordan, who had retired at the end of the previous season.

During game three, with less than two seconds left on the game clock, the score was tied up at 102. Chicago had the ball and called a time-out to strategize how they could make a final shot and win the game. Coach Phil Jackson’s plan called for Scottie Pippen, the Bulls’ new star, to make the pass to Toni Kukoc for the final shot. As play was about to resume, Scottie Pippen sat out because he was disgruntled that he wasn’t tapped to take the final shot.

With only four players on the floor, another time-out and the coach substituted reserve player Pete Myers to make the pass. Myers tossed a perfect pass to Kukoc, who made the seemingly impossible that shot to win the game.

As the Bulls made their way back to the locker room, their game winning euphoria was deflated by Pippen’s behavior.

What was Scottie Pippen’s core issue? That’s right, pride!! The only score Scottie Pippen was keeping was for himself and not that of his team.

It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.
—Harry S Truman

Pride diminishes us by making us small and we buy into the narrative that it somehow makes us bigger. Pride diminishes our ability to hear what needs to be heard and the life changing words we need to hear just bounce off us. Pride also diminishes our ability to give, to exercise humility and to be others oriented.

Scottie Pippen was the living embodiment of pride during that game and fell deeper into the shadow of Michael Jordan because of his pride. He now has an asterisk next to his name and it’s not a good footnote – it’s this one! Feeling snubbed, Pippen decided that he just wouldn’t play at all. It wasn’t what anyone would call the finest example of leadership. And guess what? Kukoc made the game-winner

Pride completely removes our capacity to look in the mirror and see that the problem is the person staring back at us. When you are full of you, it crowds others out.

How many people in your life are victims of your pride?

Base image credit: Basketball net – Wikimedia. Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.

                  

Is Going To Church Absolutely Necessary?

Sunday is coming and going to church is looming on the horizon.

Let me know if you can relate to this. There’s allot going on and the tug-o-war begins on how to make everything happen — including going to church. Then it happens…you’re subconscious, a well-meaning church friend or a pushy pastor begins to woodpecker you that you need to go to church. 

For many of us, Sundays without church can bring a tremendous amount of guilt! Church can be a wellspring for spiritual development and growth, but it’s not the only place for this to happen. People really buy into the narrative that we can only find our spiritual life within the walls of our church and if we look elsewhere, we’re doing it wrong or the experience is somehow “not real”. If you can’t or won’t find your way into a building called “church” on Sunday, be encouraged because you can fully walking it out and love Him without perfect attendance.

So, is going to church absolutely necessary? The short answer is no, but keep reading…

Nowhere in the Bible are we commanded to attend a church service every Sunday or that it’s a requirement to pack up the family, sit in a building and consume entertainment. The very idea of church was about relationship and sharing life with others in your tribe. We find in the New Testament that churches were literally houses that people were already living in, which became places to fellowship in a deep relational community. So, if people try to make you feel guilty for not attending a church building, know that you haven’t missed the point — they did.

Don’t let guilt erode you away on this matter. As a follower of Jesus Christ, there is an identity we have in God, that transcends whatever guilt or regret or disappointment that’s wrapped up in people’s expectations of you. There is a very private and personal place of intimacy with Him that brings hope and freedom and joy that none can touch or smear or steal away…no matter where you find yourself today. For many, “organized religion” is the very obstacle people need to overcome to get closer to Jesus.

Now, is this a narrative in support of a follower of Jesus Christ to not attend church? Not at all! It’s about the guilt that we (and others) put on ourselves for not always making it a weekly ritual.

Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another.
—Hebrews 10:25

Church can be a vibrant experience where we can share life with others, growing in ways we never would otherwise. There’s incredible value being connected in community with other followers of Jesus seeking to become the best version of themselves. A church can be a source of outreach to local communities: serving the homeless, battered women/children and all who have fallen short of the glory of God. So don’t use this as an excuse to justify not going to church or missing a gathering from time to time…use this to know that God doesn’t guilt people into fellowship with Himself or others.

Remember, “Christianity” isn’t a building or a mandatory hour long Sunday activity. Of course becoming a Christian starts with confessing with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believing in your heart that God raised him from the dead…but after that it’s about you deciding to get up everyday living with a desire to follow and reflect Jesus Christ. There is no church roster that your name gets automatically put on the moment you choose to follow Christ and there are no requirements that are location specific!

Church is who we are, not where we go!
—Unknown

You gotta hear this — God is always close by and easily accessible to everyone. Brother Lawrence, who wrote ‘The Practice of the Presence of God’, was a humble cook who experienced life in the kingdom of God to its fullest by discovering the art of living in the presence of God throughout the day. He once said, “I am doing now what I will do for all eternity. I am blessing God, praising Him, adoring him, and loving Him with all my heart.” So living in these moments with God often comes disguised as ordinary days, uneventful moments, and everyday conversations: relaxing with your spouse, meeting with a coworker, preparing a meal for the family, spending time your kids, reading a book, sleeping in because you’re completely exhausted or catching up with a friend over a nice cup of coffee. These can all be rich and faith-affirming experiences that do more for your soul than an hour worship service ever could. Remember, everything God has for you is available to you right where you are. Remember the woman at the well?

Even the most devout Christian can get off track and lose their way (happens to me). Day in and day out, we all face an endless jetstream of demands, desires, pressures, deadlines, duties, expectations, fill in the blank ______. We get tired, distracted and yes…lose focus. Our faith (and practice of it) can definitely include embracing Sundays spent at home with our families while still striving to hold Sundays up as a different sort of day. For whatever reason you’re not attending church, I hope you find your home in a local thriving church community. Because it’s important!

To bring it all home. If you find yourself taking a Sunday off from church now and then, your faith can still be rewarding and real and fully life giving. Don’t panic! So, wherever you find yourself on any given Sunday, continue to walk it out with Him…because He is still walking it out with you.

Image: New England Church in Sugar Hill. Copyright Tim Young, Heartstjone Journey. Is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.