Stephanie Hamilton's Blog, page 2

Soulmap Series Interview with Catherine Just

Soulful.



Magical.



Meaningful.



Those are just 3 words I would use to describe my next guest Catherine Just on the Soulmap Series Interviews!

Catherine is well known for her soul-shifting photography courses, “In Plain Sight”, and “The Deepening” (you can sign up for her next round of this fabulous course here). Catherine created these courses as a means of using photography for personal transformation.

I had the privilege of working with Catherine on a Power Journey recently, and it was her honesty, accountability, and no-nonsense attitude that had me hooked. One of the themes in my sessions was unworthiness (something I know a thing or two about, as do we all!), and it was through Catherine’s work with Don Miguel Ruiz, author of one of my favorite books “The Four Agreements” that she was able to lovingly unwrap this part of herself. I love her vulnerability and rawness, and I know you will feel inspired by what we shared in this Skype rendez-vous!

Just how do you pick up the pieces after facing the reality of a serious drug and alcohol addiction? How do your forge forward and create a life filled with truth, passion, and beauty? How do you have your work featured on Oprah.com, National Geographic, and work with one of the top spiritual guru’s of today?

Watch this interview and see how award winning photographer, instigator for personal transformation, and spiritual teacher Catherine Just got clarity, shifted her vibration to a higher frequency, and then moved into her space of ultimate creation!

I also had the privilege of sharing one of my Aura-Soma® sessions with Catherine some time ago. I use the Aura-Soma® Color system in my Soulmap program, as the use of color is very powerful in identifying, shifting, and transforming the energies you need to move forward in life.



I am incredibly passionate about this program, and am so excited to have you experience one of these mind-blowing and transformational sessions! Are you ready to SOUL-SHIFT to the next level, baby? Book a Soulmap session with me, mention this interview and receive a LIMITED 20% off your session! The energies of 2013 are all about “Taking it to the Next Level” and in order to do this, we need to hold ourselves accountable and take action! I truly hope you feel inspired, KNOW that you are worth it, and harness the energy to move into the next phase of your life!

With love and light,

The post Soulmap Series Interview with Catherine Just appeared first on Nektar.

4 Reasons to Love Your Pain

Pain.

The word itself looks non-threatening. Humble and unassuming, it’s one of those things that tends to creep up on you when you least expect it.

But why does it have such a bad wrap? Have we been conditioned to shy away from anything that makes us uncomfortable, pushes us outside our comfort zone, and makes us wish we hadn’t woken up that day?

Pain is the catalyst of our inner growth. Without pain, we are not able to really get to know ourselves, or tap into what makes us tick as an individual.

What if we decided to embrace the darkness of our pain as if it were welcome in our lives? When we allow ourselves to go with the flow of life, great things can happen! Today I had a soul shifting conversation with a lady named Julia Dolowicz (also known as Jules Dolly Art!) who pushed through the pain barrier of a debilitating illness and created a way to help others to heal through her beautiful art. Check out the interview below to hear how she got clear, raised her vibration, and moved into a space of juicy creation!

In the meantime, I’ve come up with an acronym and 4 good reasons to embrace, cuddle, and LOVE your pain!

1) P is for Presence.

Ever stubbed your toe, or had your heart cracked in two by your first love at summer camp? I’m thinking that most of us have had those 2 simple experiences, and I can bet with the utmost certainty that at the height of the pain, you weren’t thinking about what you were going to have for dinner, dreaming about your next vacation, or wondering if a tree really does make a sound when it falls in the forest, am I right?

Pain brings about a sense of PRESENCE like no other experience I know. When you’re in pain, you can’t help but be in pain for that moment, and your awareness reaches an all time high. It’s like a satellite on steroids, with all systems in your body reacting to whatever has set you off in the first place. Fight of flight? I don’t think so…it’s more like “I’m in the now, I’m in the now, I’m in the now……OW!!!!”.

Pain commands your attention, stimulates all of your senses and let’s you know you are indeed ALIVE! It breeds a sense of gratitude when all is said and done. To know you’ve “survived” something, allows for a greater appreciation of all things around you, and what’s not to love about that?

2) A is for Acknowledgement.

It is so true that we continually tell ourselves little white lies to avoid the “P” word. Someone says something that wounds us, or perhaps we’ve not been taking care of our physical body and don’t want to admit that we are experiencing discomfort for fear of looking “weak” among our peers. “Oh, it’s ok, I’m alright”, we’ll say, as the pain gets pushed into the abyss of our soul.

Every time we acknowledge the discomfort, stress, or distress of a painful situation, we are allowing ourselves the greater gift of allowing the pain to flow and “let go”. Acknowledgement kicks the ass out of fear, and allows our true feelings to surface in order that they can be carried away by the shores of our soul and shifted to a higher place of LOVE.

3) I is for Imbalance.

Pain is just the reaction to an action of imbalance. Life is but a cycle of ups and downs, twists and turns, continually reaching and struggling to achieve the BALANCE in life. Every instance of disease is a sign of physical imbalance. Every emotional wound is a sign that things are not right between the wounded and their perpetrator. Pain is an OPPORTUNITY to bring attention to areas of our life that need attention.

When we are able to respond to the signals of pain, we are then able to identify what areas of our life need an overhaul, or what energy is no longer serving our purpose. When we shift this energy, we are able to bring in the juicy new vibes that restore balance and vitality in our lives again.

4) N is for No.

I think we’d all agree that pain is not something we actively go out and search for. Even though we know it is integral to our growth to experience discomfort, most of us would prefer to run and hide. “NO” is a reaction to our discomfort, and ironically also what can set us free from experiencing the same forms of pain over and over again. I’m a firm believer in experiencing something once to learn a lesson, but what do we do as humans? We go through the same emotional, physical, and spiritual distress over and over again and fail to stop and learn the lesson behind the pain (it took me years to realize that keeping my schedule open “in case” a friend would call was stopping me from other opportunities that I said no to because I was too worried that I’d miss out on something. The result? I ended up sitting at home, stewing with anger at how my friend was selfish and how I could have gone out with “this person or that one” instead of being stood up!).

Once we are able to harness the beauty of “NO”, in the context of LOVING ourselves enough to not want to subject ourselves to things that we know will have a painful outcome (and are already aware of the lesson), then we are able to empower ourselves to know the difference between pain and ignorance. My mother had a saying when I was a kid “You’re a sucker for punishment!” when I’d repeat the same mistakes over and over again, but I’m glad I can see the beauty in how those mistakes shaped who I am today. It’s all about LOVE!

Have a listen to my “Drop of Nektar” I recorded that inspired this article, and don’t forget to watch this inspiring interview with Julia Dolowicz from Soul Portrait Healing as the second edition of my Soulmap Series Interviews!

Pictured here are a few of Julia’s portraits she has done for celebrities, along with a quote to accompany each of them.

Feeling like you’ve lost your way, or looking for clarity? Have a look at the one on one Soulmap sessions I offer via Skype to help you shift your energy, raise your vibration, and move into a space of luscious creation!

I have a great lineup of interviews coming up from soul inspiring guests who have risen above their fears and created a life of freedom and authentic expression! Sign up for my newsletter here to receive juicy drops of inspiration and keep in the loop!

Enjoy the interview, and I’d love to hear your feedback!

The post 4 Reasons to Love Your Pain appeared first on Nektar.

Nektar Just Got a Whole Lot Juicier…

It feels quite emotional to send this message out.

Over three years ago, this blog was started with the intent of leading a more fulfilling life when we took the plunge and left Dubai to experience life in New Zealand.

It was a challenge in the beginning, and the blog took all different shapes and forms starting with a more natural homemaker approach (think homemade breads, dishwashing soap, and beehives! Yay!), then moving through just getting through life in general (blog posts highlighting life raising a Special Needs child, through to moving countries and travel escapades).

As our lives revolve around “cycles” and nothing quite stays the same “forever”, so too has this blog evolved into something I am very proud to share with you through your undying support.

Nektar is still the same “voice”, it just has a new home over on my new website.  You see, as time has evolved, my blog has blossomed into a flourishing business of inspiration, healing, coaching, and creativity.  Never once on this blog have I asked any of my readers to buy anything, and never once have I tried to entice people to come and read my content through giving away prizes.  That was a decision I made from the very beginning as I want YOU to be here because you want to be here, and not because I’m offering you some hot freebie!  That’s not to say that it’s a bad practice for those who do it, but it just has never been in alignment with what this blog has been about which has mainly been inspiration.

I would like to invite you now to come and join me over at my new and improved site where you can see the many exciting things that I have to offer, and still keep in touch with my blog and what’s happening with Nektar.  Nektar is still all about simplicity, and inspiration, and I’d love to still have you as part of the family!

As my brand has evolved, so too has the blog, and I am really excited to be able to offer you some new and exciting articles and interviews where we can enjoy insights from people from all over the world to inspire and be inspired.

This blog will still remain at this address for some time until the full transition of all followers is shifted, but please make sure you head over to the new blog and resubscribe to ensure you are still able to receive my “Drops of Netkar” in your inbox!

I am so, so grateful for this journey, and I hope to inspire you with all the offerings available on the new site including One on One Coaching Sessions, Aura Soma Color Consultations, purchasing a copy of my book “Hungry”-Feed Your Soul, or a Skype Soulmap Session to help you tap into your greatness!

As loyal subscribers and readers, I would like to offer you a complimentary “Check-In” Session (normally worth $44 USD) which is a 15 minute session via Skype to help identify possible areas of energy that could be shifted in your life to make room for the juicier stuff!  If you are interested, please click the link here to read more under “Check-In” on the Soulmap page, and then email me at connect@nektar.ae with subject heading “Nektar Loyalty” and we’ll set up a time! I’d love to have a chat with you and get to know you better!

Thank you so much for your understanding and loyalty over the past few years, and I can’t wait to see you over on the new site!!  Please also feel free to pass this site on to whoever you think may benefit!  Take some time to cruise the new Nektar…grab a cup of tea, and a piece of cake and enjoy the sweeter side of life!

With love, and infinite blessings,

Steph xxx

Tagged: feedyoursoul, inspiration, life coaching, nektar, Skype consultation, soulmap

Soulmap Series Interviews Episode #1

We all have baggage that we’ve been carrying for way too long.

Old stories and ideas to be shed so the newer, juicier stuff can flow in. How many times have you asked yourself the question

“What do I really, really want?”. Soulmap was created to help you unlock your magnificence. You came here with purpose, you were made to claim your Nektar, that amazing potential that oozes inside of you. But for some reason, you can’t seem to tap into the core of what your true essence really is.

There is a sense of not knowing, or knowing and not knowing how to move forward with it all!

Soulmap can help you to discover and define what you’re made of, and how you can serve the world.



As part of the Soulmap program, I am really excited to share with you a series of interviews that will highlight people, just like you and me from all over the world who have unlocked their blueprint, and are living the lives of their dreams while still remaining true to who they are.

We are all human, and it’s crucial to remember that living the life of your dreams ALSO includes lessons of hardship and tests of strength of spirit from time to time. We live in a continuous cycle of ebb and flow, and this is why I created this program so that you can get to know yourself a little better, all the while accessing the amazing tools to help you move past your challenges with full support.



The Soulmap Series interviews are all about sharing, and showing you that there are other people out there standing tall, and walking the walk when it comes to showing up in the world as their authentic selves.

To learn more, to work with me One on One, or to BOOK a Soulmap session, please follow this link.

Please join me in welcoming Emelie Archer from “Your Forbidden Life”. I hope you enjoy this juicy interview that highlights the 3 pillars of my Soulmap program, and how they apply to Emelie.

If you are interested in catching more soulful interviews, please subscribe to the Nektar YouTube Channel for more inspiration!

The post Soulmap Series Interviews Episode #1 appeared first on Nektar.

The Soulmap Creed

A little something I wrote to remind us of the human experience.

Our greatness lies within the acceptance of all that we ARE.

Come and experience a Soulmap session like no other. Clarify, Resonate, Create. Three easy steps closer to the core of who you are!

The post The Soulmap Creed appeared first on Nektar.

How Can I Make Your Life Sweeter?

Welcome to the new version of Nektar!

This is the unveiling of a beautiful dream that started over 3 years ago. My dream was to create a brand that I was proud of, offering services that reflected my life experience and passions in life, and offered something of value that could be of service to others.



Nektar is my vision of the beautiful things in life…of simplicity and of the humble beauty that surrounds us in details that often go unnoticed every day. I have sat through hours of doubt and fear along this journey. I have questioned whether or not people would value what I have to say and offer, and I have been delighted time and time again at the great response to the content I’ve published.

Please take a few moments to look around the new site, I’m sure you’ll love the juicy vibe and rich content that can help you reconnect to the beauty and sweetness both within yourself and in life. Life has it’s trials and tribulations, that is for sure, but it’s also good to know that we have the tools to forge forward in life. Aura Soma and the Soulmap program (a Nektar creation!) will help you do just that with a wide variety of options to book online via Skype, or in person in my soulful Dubai location.





There are also options of quick check-ins and one on one coaching to help clarify what energy needs shifting to get you moving forward (we all reach those stages of feeling “stuck” or “stagnant” and I have exactly what you need to kick things back into gear!).



If you are “Hungry” for inspiration, my book may just be the soul food you need. If it’s capturing your family’s organic moments that interests you, a Nektar Photography experience is a must!

Thank you to all of you who have supported my journey from the first blog. Sign up for my newsletter and receive a free ebook of GRATITUDE that I have created called “Breath Of Love-44 Days of Gratitude”. I hope it lights your fire!

How Can I Make Your Life Sweeter? Contact me for a bit of the sweet life today!

The post How Can I Make Your Life Sweeter? appeared first on Nektar.

Ten Things You Didn’t Know About Me

Sometimes it’s good to have a little shakeup.

To do things a little differently, and write from a different perspective.  I was recently invited to join a fabulous group of bloggers and webpreneurs in the Sprout Mastermind Group which brings together a bunch of amazing women in a group where we can bounce ideas off each other, give feedback on business ideas, and see the back end of how other people run their business. Win/win I say!

Our first assignment (in getting to know the 30 some odd women that are in our group, and there are some amazing women in there let me tell you!) is to write a post of the 20 things you didn’t know about me (as I am a descriptive writer when it comes to these things, I thought I’d take it down to 10!).

There is a good mix on this blog of people who are near and dear to me, and those of you who share your good vibes with us here in cyberspace, of whom I have not had the privilege of meeting in the flesh.  Hopefully I will make you laugh, and you’ll maybe learn a thing or two, have a giggle, and maybe even try writing this list yourself or how about sharing “5″ things I didn’t know about you down in the comments below??

At first I thought this idea didn’t vibe with my brand, and then I realized I needed this post as I a lot of my recent postings have been quite serious, and truth be told, I actually really like to have fun!!!  So in the spirit of fun, I’m going to throw some random confessions in between.

Time to refresh, recharge, and relax.

Ten Things You Didn’t Know About Me

1)  I grew up in a house full of kids AND senior citizens.  We had Norman, John (he liked to nude up from time to time….nuff’ said!), Walter, Henry (he wanted to take me to California in my green Lada), and Victor to name a few.  These people were living in our home and under the care of my mother.  I could write a book solely about our life with 6 kids and these people.  But instead I’ll leave you with Victor’s favorite chant…

Picture a man in a flaming red track suit, with a very strong British accent, and  a serious case of Parkinson’s Disease (bless his heart).  Oh, and he carried a big stick when he went walking, and my Dad used to have to go and find him when he didn’t return for ages. He would usually find him in a ditch somewhere with the stick and legs flailing. True Story.  That man was not going to let Parkinson’s beat him, so the ditch it was!

“How do you like your carrots? Raw, Raw, Raw…..How do you like your cabbage? Slaw, Slaw, Slaw? How do you like the other team? They’re fooooooor the biiiiiirds!!!!” (sung in a high pitched tune).

Great start to life I say.

Random Confession: I used to really get annoyed that we had all these elderly people in our house.  One day I came home from school with a friend to find one of them naked sitting in a chair in the front hall.  Kids used to ask me if the guy in the flaming red track suit flailing around my yard was my Dad when I got off the school bus. 

Total embarrassment….

2) I moved to Saudi Arabia to work in a hospital when I was 23 years old.  While I was there I also worked with Saudi Princesses teaching them fitness classes.   I also worked with royalty yet again in Bahrain doing the same job working in a private gym.  No joke, and yet again, another book for the collection!!  So many stories…

Random Confession: At one of the Bahraini weddings I  sat with another personal trainer.  There was bling everywhere.  We decided to case the joint for the chance of finding even ONE random earring.  That could’ve set us up for life…..lol!

Mission was unsuccessful by the way!

3) I have this strange annoyance with certain things related to my feet.  The other day I went ballistic when my daughter rammed her scooter into the back of ankles and I ended up throwing the scooter halfway across the room.  Seriously, I am as cool as a cucumber, as long as you don’t step on my feet, get my feet wet, or ram me up the back of my ankles.  Ask my husband, he knows all about it!!

Random Confession: I have never been known to be skinny, always been a voluptuous, athletic, or curvy girl.  My ankles are the skinniest part of my body and I really like them. Not because they are slim, but just because…

4) A few years ago, someone challenged me to something I never thought I would ever do.   In June 2008, I stepped in the boxing ring in front of 800 people and fought in a White Collar Boxing Match.  I was Steph, “The Hammer” Hamilton.  I fought “The Bomber” (no joke)…I trained HARD.  I have always had a fear of getting hit.  I got hit.  But…I walked through that crowd (imagine people dressed in their finest…tuxes, Louboutins, bright lights, dry ice pumped through the air, cameras everywhere, chicks in hot pants in the ring, bottles of champagne, wine, and Jack Daniels spilling out from every corner), got in that ring, faced my fears, and fought HARD.  One of the best experiences of my life.  OH, and boy was I fit!!!

Random Confession: If there is a box of chocolates, I will always sneak and go to the bottom row.  I will grab as many as I can and then cover up the box as if I’ve only taken one.  Not that this has anything to do with boxing, except for the fact that I gave up sugar while I was training. Oh, and because I feel like some now…

5) I was born in Canada but my “soul” home is in the desert.  In the Middle East, I have lived in Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, Abu Dhabi and Dubai to date.  I currently call Dubai home  and always feel a real sense of peace when I’m here (contrary to what the media would have you believe about the Middle East being a dangerous place).  I love the mystery, vastness and beauty of the desert.  I got engaged in the middle of a huge sand dune in the middle of nowhere (2 weeks after meeting my husband), and we’ve been together many lifetimes in this area of the world in the past.  So in a sense, Canada is where I was born, but my soul feels most at ease when I’m in the Middle East.  This is HOME.

Random Confession: I didn’t actually like my husband when I first met him. Thought he was a womanizer.  Totally uninterested (although secretly I did think he was hot), and laughed when my Irish friend said “Oh, haven’t ye met James Hamilton?? He’s the bachelor of the moment!!!” Seriously?? Who talks like that!? Only the Irish can get away with something like that….makes me laugh to this day, and it’s funny how the Universe conspires to bring soul mates together!

6) I used to work in a Medical lab in the hospital, but now consider myself  an “alchemist” and channel for healing.  I have now gone down the alternative route and work with color (Aura Soma Color Practitioner), crystal, and plant energies.   I am now exploring the power of sound waves to heal in combination with color and light, mainly using tuning forks, crystal singing bowls, and the power of voice and the breath.

It is a very exciting to be working in a field that influences not only my daily life, but has also helped foster my creativity and allowed my authentic self to re-surface.  I have had some very powerful breakthrough’s with my clients.  Most of them have had massive shifts and transformation within only one session of seeing me. I am a channel, and have the ability to connect to other realms (mainly work with Angelic Realms and Ascended Masters, but occasionally get contacted by other “beings” if it is of benefit to my client), as well as having very sharp intuitive and clairvoyant skills.

I help people to clear their “chakra’s” (energy centers) and can intuitively feel their blockages within my physical body whether in their presence, or they are halfway around the world.  It often manifests itself as physical discomfort in my body and then I am able to ask them questions related to this and get guidance on “shifting” the energy block out of their bodies.  Children are like magnets to the work I do.  My daughters have already experienced huge benefits from the work I do which makes me really proud.  I am really fortunate to have a beautiful healing room that I have created in my home, that I can share with clients, friends, and family.

Random Confession: I have been a healer for many, many lifetimes.  I’ve been hung as a witch in one life, but let’s not focus on that.  They might find out I’m doing it again and throw me into a volcano!!!!

7) I have a dream to sit opposite Oprah on Super Soul Sundays.  I have always been a great fan (ok, um, who isn’t though, right??) and always had this voice in me saying that I would be on her show.  For years I couldn’t figure out the “how” or “why”, until recently when I published my first book “Hungry”-Feed Your Soul, I realized that this was how it was meant to happen.  Over a year ago I was guided to write this book and was shown that it would reach far across the world and be read by millions of people. I always knew I’d write a book (well, I’m sure it will be many!), but thought it would be more like a novel.  Instead, I was guided to use my images, stop procrastinating and create a “soul feast” to share my experiences and connect with something everyone can relate to. I followed my instincts, and doors started opening. I initially was only going to self publish through Blurb.com, then was encouraged by a small publisher to publish through them (they nominated the book for 2 awards straight away), and weeks later received a call from the Hay House family who my book is now published under as well.  The book is doing really well, and I know divine timing will get it where it needs to be.

BTW, my brother lives in Chicago about 20 mins from Harpo Studios so he has been in there a few times trying to catch sight of Oprah for me.  Love it!

Random Confession: Sometimes I go and try on different pairs of designer shoes imagining that I’m getting ready to fly to Chicago and meet Oprah (oh, and see my brother, he lives there too!).  The other day I found some nice Manolo’s….they would do quite nicely thanks!!!

(Hmmm, dirty Havainas, or sparkly Manolo????)

8) I used to almost LIVE in the kitchen and have a great love of food and all things culinary (is peanut butter considered gourmet??).

As perfectionism was something (and still is at times) I struggled with intensely for years, this was one of my ways of manifesting it.  My friend used to call me “Martha” every time she came over for dinner, or to sample some baked goodies!

I’ve pushed my creativity into other areas like photography and writing now and have adopted the phrase “Imperfection is Perfection” which has now become a hallmark and theme of my brand Nektar.  Accept things as they are and love the flaws, imperfections, and lessons that come with them!

Random Confession: I used to shove bits of my lunch down my leotards (some people call them tights, you know…..the things that keep your legs warm with feet attached!) and then go to the bathroom and flush the food down the toilet when I was about 5 or 6 years old.  Not sure how I didn’t think my Mom would find out when there were bread crumbs and bits of mayonnaise smeared inside them when I took them off! Or maybe it was the floating bread crust in the toilet…..hmmmm.

Not very “Martha” is it??

9) I have been lucky in my adult life to have travelled all over the world, and consider my top travel experiences to be the ones where I’ve given something back.  A trip to Ethiopia last year with 5 girlfriends was an experience to remember.  Handing out clothing and supplies from the back of a 4 x 4 and seeing this beautiful country was  a dream come true.  You can read about it here.  I was also fortunate to get to Vietnam earlier this year with our family and collected money for my 40th birthday to help out a Special Needs Homeless Shelter  by buying a new wheelchair for them and boxes of crayons and coloring paper.  As my daughter Ruby has Down Syndrome, this was near and dear to my heart and I have since gone on to design 5 Limited Edition Cushions, using my photographic images to donate proceeds back to this amazing organization.

This is something I’m really passionate about, I believe that everyone has the ability to give something back every time they travel and make a point of teaching my kids that when you travel you will gain so much more by leaving the country feeling like you’ve improved someone’s life, even if it’s just a little.

For me giving FEELS REALLY GOOD…..

Random Confession: I used to worry about posting stuff like this thinking that people would think I was trying to hide something.  Weird programming….old stuff……just something I grew up with that said that if you were doing something really good, then you must be up to something really bad in reality, which was passed from my mother from her grandmother, and so on, and so on. It is my nature to live in a glass half full mentality, but there was a lot of pessimism in my childhoodI( not sure if that was just the 70′s and 80′s in general?). I say balance is good, I learned from both.  And by the way, I won’t tell you the bad things I’m up to behind closed doors!! lol

10) I have done a complete 360 in how I view life after living for New Zealand (my husband’s native land) for 3 years.  New Zealand is a beautiful, wild, and wonderful place.  I did some of the hardest times in my life when I lived there, in that I experienced some of the biggest spiritual shifts and difficult times, yet it was the biggest gift I could ever receive (outside having my girls of course!).  I developed an insane appreciation for the “little things” in life, and for the detail that nature displays when you stop and take notice.  I channeled most of my book in the notes section of my iPhone over the course of a few months walking to a deserted, but very sacred piece of land in New Zealand, and I believe the energy had to come from that place to make it happen .

This blog was conceived and born in New Zealand, and took me through the experimentation of making washing powder, having my own beehives, getting raw milk in an illegal milk ring (for real), while I found my true soul centre and realized where I was meant to be heading.

I am forever grateful for my time in NZ, and will always have ties to this amazing place…

Random Confession:I also did a complete 360 in my exercise regime as sessions of intense exercise changed to baking (eating!!) cakes and eating copious amounts of really good food.  New Zealand has a reputation for some of the world’s best food and wine, and some of the best baking recipes in the world. When in Rome!

Well that’s it! I could write another 20 points about me, but then that wouldn’t leave any room for mystery, would it?  I look forward to reading your comments below and “5 things you didn’t know about me”. Please go ahead and share! I love reading about people and their stories, it’s what makes the world an interesting place to live!

Out There

It feels good to be back, to put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard.

I love writing, it is the essence that flows through me like a river when I allow it to, and unfortunately, I have denied myself that pleasure for too long.  My book “Hungry”-Feed Your Soul is doing amazingly well, and I suppose in a way, it was such a process getting that work “out there”, that in some ways, I needed to retreat from the world of writing for a little while.  I have recently been approached to be a co-author along with 32 other amazing spiritual teachers, authors, and thought leaders for a series called “Adventures in Manifesting”.  It is an exciting time for me in terms of getting my work out there, and having my voice be heard, but at the same time, there has been something stopping me in terms of moving forward and just allowing my writing to flow.

This blog has always been my little haven of respite, a safe place to go and exercise my mind, heart, and soul.  It’s a place to connect with those who choose to enter this space, and to share what I’ve learned, and what I’m still yearning to learn.

I think what happens is that I end up thinking that every piece that I write needs to be a masterpiece, needs to be perfect in every way.  And that’s what stops MOST of us from creating….the fear of inadequacy, or fear that no one will engage with what we’ve created.

We need to see it from a viewpoint of “better out than in”.   All that juiciness is no good holed up inside our human casings!  The spirit needs to flow and be free, and to be housed among skin and bone with no place to roam and express itself, the essence of our creativity gets stuck in a rut.

As I write this, it becomes apparent to me that there is one key theme that revolves around getting our work “out there”, and that is the theme of vulnerability.  One of my favorite authors Brene Brown is an expert and speaker on the topic of vulnerability.  Her 2010 talk on Tedx has over 9,000,000 views to date, and it is the rawness and authenticity of this talk that has captivated people worldwide.

Putting yourself “out there” inevitably creates a sense of vulnerability, and a fear that you won’t be seen, when ultimately that’s your end goal.  You write a book, of course you want people to read it.  You put your heart and soul into a painting, you want it to be admired. You armor yourself up for a day of parenting, and hope that someone notices that you’re doing a good job.  You wear your heart on your sleeve…..you get my drift.

You extend yourself, and wait for a connection..

For as Brene puts it, there is a fear of disconnection more than anything that stops us from moving forward.  The mask we wear from day to day is like solid armor, showing no signs of weakness, and a sense of not wanting to let anyone in.

For fear of not being seen.

For fear of being isolated.

For fear of not being able to fill the shoes of those who put themselves “out there” before us.

It takes a certain level of courage to forge forward in the direction of your dreams.  Getting up every morning requires enough courage in itself to meet whatever it is the world has to offer, and we should all praise ourselves for the incredible navigating that we do each and every day to be seen, to be heard, to be LOVED in this world.

When I ask myself “Why am I writing this, who would want to read this anyway?”, I stop and ask the question “Why NOT?”.  Aren’t we living in a continuous stream and flow of conversation, unique ideas, and experiences that CONNECT us to the core of who we really are?

By putting our work “out there”, we take a gamble, this is true, but isn’t life just one big game after all?  How can you pass GO And collect $200 if you haven’t even rolled the dice?

I am so grateful for a series of events that have happened to me recently to fire up my creativity and really connect me to what my purpose is.  I am here to share, and to LOVE. It’s a pretty simple job, just as long as I don’t allow my ego to complicate things.

To sum it up in my own words…

Vulnerability is putting your cards on the table, not knowing what the rules are or what the outcome will be.  There is a courage the springs forth, pushing you, knowing that not matter WHAT the outcome, you played in the game of LIFE.

I say yes to the game of life, with all it’s fears of

disconnection,

unworthiness,

and failure to be seen.

I say YES to the game of life and know that endless joy comes from having the courage to do so.

“The willingness to show up changes us, It makes us a little braver each time.”

― Brené Brown, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

Tagged: authenticity, Brene Brown, courage, creativity, LOVE, manifesting, oprah, tedx, vulnerability, writing

Seven

There was a moment in my life where I felt the need to run……

Stuck to a cold hospital bed, in a lonely room in Abu Dhabi, legs numb from the aftereffects of my C-section, and as my baby was wheeled down to ICU, I sat trembling in fear.

Wanting to run and hide from the news that was lingering in my room like fine smoke.  Nurses huddled in corners, whispers and smiling glances passed my way as the statement “Down Syndrome” passed slowly from their lips as if caught in time.

(A memory of those moments recounted here and here.)

Over these past seven years it has occurred to me that there are pivotal moments we ALL encounter where we feel we could just RUN…….run away from it all, hide in the hills and never look back.  You hear people talk of fleeting moments, in a magical and mystical way.

“Don’t take for granted what you’ve got”……”These are fleeting moments, cherish them, they’ll be gone before you know it…”.

In my case in this instant, it was more of a fleeing moment I was thinking about!

How can I rewind the clock?  Maybe I should have had those prenatal tests and then I wouldn’t be in this situation?  Please, oh please God, take me away……

Of course this was not the veneer I decided to display to those who came in contact with me, but rather that of a seasoned warrior.

“We are blessed, she is a gift, there’s a reason we were chosen as her parents….” were the words that seamlessly slipped from my mouth as though I had rehearsed them for the biggest performance I was to play in my life.

In reality, I felt isolated, alone, and scared as hell for what was to come….

Now, before I go any further, I want to make one thing perfectly clear.  Despite all these feelings, there was NO doubt whatsoever that I had an intense and DEEP love for this beautiful child.  That is the part that was so confusing and put me through such a deep internal struggle.

I felt LOVE…….and yet I wanted to RUN…….

I just recently participated in a 72km relay (with 4 other very competent runners!) through the wadi’s and mountains in Oman (a race called Wadi Bih).  I can honestly say that this was probably the scene I envisioned for myself when having that moment of wanting to run and hide.  Off in the mountains, where no one could find me….somewhere that I could find the strength to want to to run BACK and meet things head on.

My philosophy in life has always been this..

“Things happen for a reason.  We are always where we need to be in any given time.  Life takes us where we are meant to go.”

The same rings true for the birth of my beautiful daughter Ruby.  She came into our lives for a reason, and that reason is so utterly simple, yet beautiful.

She came to show me how to LOVE both myself, others, and the things I cannot control around me. I could write this post floundering on and on about how amazing and wonderful and beautiful every moment I have experienced with her in seven years has been.

And it HAS been a beautiful road, full of twists and turns, bumps, flat tires, super adrenaline filled racing, and smooth sailing. It has been the road I was meant to travel, with Ruby as my copilot, steering me back on the track when I venture off it.

But it has also been a time of internal struggle, frustration, and pain.  The realization that she rarely gets invited to play dates (I can count them on one hand in seven years), the fact that upon our return to Dubai that most schools here don’t see my daughter as an “equal” or as someone who can contribute to their establishment despite the fact that she has achieved “Outstanding Reading” just recently (to the school that decided to take a chance on her, thank you!), or the fact that we live in an Alcatraz like state with bolts, locks, and boundary walls around us for Ruby’s safety (she’s a runner!).

Through every hurdle, and every struggle, I have felt the need to run.  I would much rather bury my head in the sand and pass the baton on to someone else at times.  And the reason I share this so candidly with you is because I know that YOU TOO also have times where life hands you a challenge, and you feel it is all too much to carry.  I want to connect with you and let you know that you’re not alone, and that your struggle is not less, not more, nor insignificant.

We all process things in different ways.  What we have done for years is shoved everything under the carpet, hidden things behind closet doors, and for this we have suffered.  It’s time to be able to air your closets, release the dust that clings to the corners and set yourself free.

I love my daughter more than words can describe.  She is ALL heart and soul and carries an intense energy of LOVE unparalleled by no one I’ve ever met.

She is the love magnet, and clings lovingly to everyone who comes into contact with her.  She gives freely, openly and unselfishly of herself, and for seven years I have been privileged to be her mother.

I have always maintained that raising Ruby will be the same as raising any of my other girls.  The rules will be the same, there is no special treatment, and that the achievements will overshadow the difficulties.

I believe we have achieved the balance for the most part, but there is that consideration that things with Ruby are slightly different, but it’s where we choose to focus our attention that matters.

Ruby is Ruby and thank God for that!  Looking back over these seven years I am just so proud of how far she has come.  To achieve outstanding reading (the top level) in a mainstream school is one thing, but to personally witness the amount of love she has projected onto others is the pinnacle of her success.

There isn’t a moment where she’s not giving freely of her beautiful spirit and never-ending fountain of LOVE…..

Please join me a for a celebration of my favorite recent images of Ruby.  Happy Birthday to the most beautiful spirit….my teacher, daughter, spark of life, and LOVE.

Happy Seventh Birthday Ruby!!!

And on a final note….

“The mirror within the mirror reveals it’s reflection in all it’s truth, and with that I never go hungry again…..”-Nektarism

(An excerpt from the book I recently wrote that was a gift from Ruby. A realization that we are all mirrors of truth to one another and upon knowing this, we are free to express who we really are.  Thank you Ruby for yet another beautiful gift of awakening.)

Vertigo-Three Reasons to Embrace Your Inner Scaredy Cat

I remember a time when I was a kid, and we used to get really excited on a Friday night when we could go and rent a heap of movies at the local video store.  There are 6 children in our family, and now I can see with absolute understanding how my mother was excited too….this might actually mean that with 6 kids lined up to watch a video, she might actually get 5 minutes to go to the toilet by herself!!

Of course, with me being the eldest there were times when the little ones were in bed that I would get to watch a scary movie or two with my parents.

Scary movies have  that love/hate thing going on about them.  You really don’t want to see the really scary bits, but you can’t resist peaking out between your fingers as your hands cover your face in sheer horror!  You peak, and then you wish you hadn’t…….

I can honestly say I had countless nights lying awake swearing I saw Freddy Kreuger in the shadows outside my room, being almost CERTAIN that Chuckie was pulling himself up the stairs from my brother’s toy box, or that Jason was just around the corner with that annoying, yet spine chilling breathing he did.

This to me, was not exactly the most productive type of FEAR, but it was fear all the same.

Fear seems to be among the trendiest topics to blog, talk, write, and quote about at the moment.  It is a word that slips easily from our mouths as we claim to “kill that beast”, “slay the dragon”, and “conquer all”.

It is the stagnant pool we all love to swim in.  We bask in it, soak in all it’s crippling capacity, and cling to it with our co-dependency.

But here’s where I say “Get a grip”, and by “Get a grip”, I mean take that ball of fear in whatever area of your life seems the scariest to conquer.

Then get scared…and I mean really scared.  Let the fear get the best of you, let it grow inside you until you feel lightheaded, and nauseated.  Let the sweat trickle down your forehead, and your stomach do a few loops on spin cycle.

Why? You ask??

Because it is this intense feeling of fear, of standing on the ledge looking down into the nothingness,

Or going up the creek without a paddle (not so scary until you encounter something like this like we did on our recent trip to Ethiopia!!!) that kickstarts something deep within you.

This is your FUEL…..

Out of an intense experience comes something of great value, clarity and comfort. To have that feeling of being so uncomfortable where your entire universe seems to have shifted off balance is really something quite special.

That’s where the magic happens!

And this, my friend, is why standing in the face of FEAR can only be a good thing!

1. What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger.

How many times did I hear that saying when I was a kid? And rightly so, it does stand to reason that if you can weather the storm,  the storm won’t weather you!

The more you stand up and face whatever it is that makes your knees tremble, the more accustomed you get to handing it with ease….and you become your own warrior of inner peace!

2. Fear doesn’t FLOW.

Fear stops you dead in your tracks.  There is no continuum, and particularly not when you reach that state of vertigo, where all your bodily functions seem to have a mind of their own.  Frozen in time, your body and mind adjust to the conditions it’s been handed.

It’s fight or flight, sink or swim.

And how exactly is that a good thing?

Well……..one of our biggest problems that we face today is the inability to slow down, to take stock of what matters, or to observe where it is we stand.

Fear does a great job of taking the bull by the horns, making you stand at attention and making a decision of how the hell you’re going to get out of a given situation, and fast!

As I said, we don’t generally LIKE to feel uncomfortable.

Fear is a vehicle.  It stops us dead in our tracks until we see the light from that oncoming train fast approaching.  And let’s hope that when we see that light, we make a MOVE!

3. It creates vulnerability, and that’s a beautiful thing…

Where there is a whiff of fear, either one of two things can happen externally….

People will prey on your vulnerability, or they will genuinely want to help.

Cultivating vulnerability brings with it a sense of responsibility to rise above it all, and when coupled with a desire to overcome, it breeds great courage.

This last point is very personal to me as I just completed a full day public speaking seminar.  When it comes to writing, I feel I have a good articulation of what I need to say.

When it comes to speaking, I feel I have a lot of work to do, and it was with this seminar that this became even more apparent for me.  I trembled inside, and felt frustration with the fact that I didn’t feel I was projecting myself as I wanted to be seen.  My magnificence had crawled into a corner somewhere and was not interested in making a special guest appearance.

I stood in front of the group and felt a deep vulnerability I have not felt for some time.  This both crippled and liberated me.  As my throat closed over with a hoarse voice, my legs trembled, and at one point, I broke down into tears, I felt fully exposed.

There was a sense of frustration, but as I come away from the experience there is also a sense of connection with myself and the audience in knowing that my vulnerability was there for a purpose.  This vulnerability has now become the fuel that propels me forward to acknowledge my weaknesses, to grow from them, and to push the boundaries even further.

To say it gave me a different perspective (as is the case with extreme fear!) would be an honest statement.

What have you done recently that has had you trembling in your tracks?

How do you feel you cope with fear? Do you face up to it, or are you likely to run and hide?

For more inspiration, check out a copy of my book “Hungry” Feed Your Soul which highlights the beauty in all that surrounds us in all it’s simplicity.

 

Tagged: courage, embrace your fear, vertigo, vulnerability