Beth K. Vogt's Blog, page 102

In Others' Words: Forgiveness

"Forgiveness is giving up the possibility of a better past." ~Unknown

I keep a gift beside my bed. It's wrapped in shiny blue paper and adorned with a white bow.

And, yes, I know what's in the box.

And, no, the gift isn't for me.

I gave the gift to someone more than a decade ago. Inside the box is a slip of paper with the words "I forgive you" written on it.

I could tell you how I'd been hurt.

But that's not the point.

Forgiveness is.

We both needed forgiveness.

I had to let go of the hurt. Not just the pain caused by the harm I'd experienced, but also the pain I was causing myself by refusing to forgive.

And I had to realize every single person deserves forgiveness. And, yes, sometimes that is unfathomable to me. But I'm not God. And his thoughts, his ways are higher than mine.

And so, I gave someone what I'd been given: forgiveness.

And, yes, I wrapped it up in pretty paper and a white bow.

Because really, there's no greater gift, is there? And it deserves a little extra touch. I've learned you can't always dress up truth so that it looks pretty — but forgiveness deserves to come gift-wrapped.

The box sits besides my bed as a reminder because I don't want to think about my past. I want to think about today. Now. And how hope — and forgiveness — spills over into my tomorrows.

In Your Words: What would your photograph of forgiveness look like?

In Others' Words: Joy

"Joy is the best makeup." ~Anne Lamott, novelist & nonfiction writer

Sometimes I don't want to look in the mirror.

Well, really, sometimes I look too closely in the mirror and I get all uptight about this wrinkle and that wrinkle and that one there! and there! and there!

Sheesh. I'm surprised I don't go running through the house with a hammer and break all the mirrors.

But the angst doesn't last all that long because I've found a fool-proof way to hide wrinkles: I smile at my reflection. And then I remember that I have lots of reasons to smile. If I stop staring at all my imperfections and give myself a smile and a wave — and then walk away from that silly mirror — I see so, so many reasons for joy.

The silly otter faces (yes, otter faces!) smiling at from the card I keep on my desk. A friend sent it to me because she knows how much I love otters.
The digital picture frame I treated myself to (yep, I sure did!) that holds hundreds of memories that make me smile, smile, smile.  (Want to see my pictures?)
A snowflake I made in my daughter's kindergarten class. Yes — this brings this craft-challenged gal much, much joy!
A floor, walls, ceiling … in other words: my house. I have been blessed with someplace to call home. Warmth. Shelter.  And I don't ever want to take that for granted.
A tiny ceramic cross my daughter, Amy, made that says: Above all Love/With All Love.

When I'm staring at my reflection in the mirror? I start thinking it's all about me.

No, not at all.

 

In Your Words: Look around you … and then tell me one thing that you see that brings you joy. I'd love to hear about it.

 

photo by val-i/stockxchng.com

In Others' Words: Beauty

 

"Beauty …. is the shadow of God on the universe." ~  Gabriela Mistral, Chilean Poet, Desolacion (a poem)

One of the advantages of living in Colorado is that I get to savor the most a-ma-zing sunrises and sunsets. We've lived here 13 1/2 years now, and I haven't seen the same sunset twice. The colors are stunning: vivid oranges, startling pinks, deep purples …. My favorite sunsets are when the sun disappears behind Pikes Peak and the mountain is backlit, as if it's on fire.

Beautiful.

And, yes, I catch a glimpse of God-the-Creator in those sunsets.

 

 

In Your Words: Where has God cast his shadow across your world in a particular moment of beauty?

 

 

Photos taken by my husband, Rob, on March 13, 2012. (Thanks, love!)

The 2012 Oscar winner for animated short film: The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore

[image error]
Watch this video on YouTube

My son, Josh, who is also a writer and an editor, shared this absolutely delightful video with me: The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore.

It's 15 minutes long — but oh, those 15 minutes went by so quickly.

Enjoy.

In Others' Words: Whatcha' Thinking?

"We become what we think about all day long." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson, American essayist & poet

I was a pretty fearful kid growing up. Sad to say, I dragged some of my fears right into adulthood.

What made me change?

My first child was born. I remember being at home with my baby boy and the lights went out. It was me — the gal who, at 23 years old, was still afraid of the dark — and an infant.

Who was gonna handle the situation?

Well, duh.

I was the adult. I was the one who had to find the flashlights and the candles. I was the who who had to comfort my son — and I certainly couldn't worry about the fact that I was freaked out.  Oh, yeah. I could hear the theme music from a horror movie playing in my head the whole time.

When the crisis was over and the lights were back on, I faced a new reality: Did I want my child to grow up like me — afraid? Or did I want to change who I was so that my son had a mom who was brave — or at least braver. Becoming unafraid meant changing my mind about things — choosing to be courageous even when fear threatened to overwhelm me.

Ralph Waldo Emerson had it right: What we think about affects who we are. Or, to put it another way: For as he thinks within himself, so he is. (Proverbs 23:7 NAS)

In Your Words: It's Monday again. Whatcha' thinking about? When have your thoughts influenced you — for better or worse?

In Others' Words: Etiquette

"Etiquette — a fancy word for simple kindness." ~ Elsa Maxwell, labeled the "Hostess with the Mostest" by the press in the mid-Twentieth century, columnist & author

You hear the word "etiquette" and I bet you groan, thinking "rules, rules and more rules."

Should I offer my seat to the elderly woman who just got on the subway?
How do I address someone I just met — formally or casually?
Should I wait for a man to open the door for me or is that sexist behavior?

But what happens when you substitute the word "kindness" for the word etiquette? Ah, suddenly everything is so, so much easier. Every "what should I do now?" dilemma boils down to kindness.

It's only kind to let someone older than me to sit down when it's easier for me to stand.
It's only kind to offer respect to someone I just met. If they tell me to call them by their first name, then I will.
It's only kind for that man to hold a door open for me — he's not insulting me as a woman. And if he doesn't? Well, I'll be kind toward him and assume he's in a hurry — not that he's being rude on purpose.

I like the way it's summed up here: Put yourself aside and help others get ahead. Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourself long enough to lend a helping hand. (Philippians 2:1-4, The Message)

In Your Words: When has kindness helped you out of an awkward situation — a "what do I do now?" moment?

photo by abcdz2000/stockxchng.com

In Others' Words: Books

"Reading is a means of thinking with another person's mind; it forces you to stretch your own." ~Charles Scribner, Jr., American publisher

More than once I've confronted the question "What's the best book you've ever read?" — or some derivative of that question. Usually, my response is something like, "How do you expect me to pick only one book?!"

Last week, when asked that question yet again, I finally stumbled upon my answer forever and ever, amen. The best book I ever read — my favorite book — is the first book I ever read. And, yes, that book was probably something along the lines of "See Dick run," but it was the one that began my lifelong love affair with books.

One of the best things about books? Getting to see what other people think about love and life and the great wide world out there — and beyond. I'm not limited to me, myself and I … When I walk into a library or a bookstore or download a book to my Kindle I have access to others' thoughts, tragedies, triumphs …

Books.

Amazing, aren't they?

In Your Words: What book has stretched your mind by challenging (maybe even changing) your thinking? Pick a novel or a nonfiction or a children's book … I'd love to hear about it!

 

photo by pear83/stockxchng.com

In Others' Words: Focus

"It is wise to direct your anger towards problems — not people; to focus your energies on answers — not excuses." ~ William Ward, English missionary & author

There came a time in my life when I had to face a harsh reality: I was an angry mommy.

I had a lot of aspirations for myself as a mom — spilling angry words and actions out on my young children was not one of them.

I had a choice: Conceal my struggles (and continue to verbally lash out at my son and daughters) or admit I had a problem and needed help.

I hit my knees and wept, asking God to help me, to change me. And, I am so thankful to say that, over time, He did.

But as I read today's quote, I realized something new. Part of my healing came as I redirected my anger away from my children — even away from myself for failing so miserably as a mom — and channeling that energy toward conquering what had overcome me in my past (abuse) and fueled the anger even to that present day. I stopped excusing my actions — I was tired, I didn't mean it — and sought hard-won answers.

In Your Words: It's Monday — today stretches ahead of you, as well as the rest of the week. Odds are, plenty of opportunities await for you to get angry. Where's your focus? Problems or people? Answers or excuses?

photo by erikdungan/stockxchng.com

In Others' Words: Color

[image error]

"I cannot pretend to feel impartial about colors. I rejoice with the brilliant ones and am genuinely sorry for the poor browns." ~Sir Winston Churchill, British statesman

Green is my all-time favorite color. Not any-old green — a vivid, forest green. My living room and dining room are both painted a lush green … and I have no plans to change those walls anytime soon.

Why do I like the color green? It represents life to me … growth … the color green contains so many shades of promise.

From Churchill's quote, it's apparent he wasn't a fan of brown. I wonder what brilliant color he "rejoiced" with most: blue? red? yellow?

In Your Words: What color do you "rejoice" with — and why? Do you feel sorry for any particular color?

 

In Others' Words: Conversations

[image error]

"Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of a witness." ~ Margaret Millar, American-Canadian mystery-suspense writer

Do I ever come across like that out-of-proportion-mostly-a-mouth woman pictured above?

Oh, how I hope not.

Do I participate in conversations with friends and family? Or do I act like some sort of running off at the mouth comedian positioned front and center stage or — gasp! — a politician vying for votes and talking, talking, talking?

I've witnessed drive-by monologues — and been victimized by them too. "Conversations" where I wasn't certain the other person even listened to what they said. (I didn't.) Every single spoken word, phrase and sentence was about them … and repeat, repeat, repeat.

In Your Words: How do you ensure that a conversation is a verbal two-way street — a little bit of you, a little bit of  someone else, a little bit of you, a little bit of someone else? Any tips for turning a monologue into a dialogue?