Jennifer Wilck's Blog, page 65

Mind Your Mouths And Your Manners

My friend, Raellen, is a pretty great person. Nice, funny and smart. She also hosts amazing book clubs, which you can read about here. [image error] I know her from my Temple, which is going through a rough patch right now. People are saying things they probably will regret and because of the ease and distance of the Internet, a lot of those messages are being sent via email.

Anyway, she is also a friend of mine on Facebook and posted a thought-provoking comment on her page. I'm going to reproduce it here: Years ago, during a discussion about personalities, etc within a church community, a wise friend remarked, "people get so caught up in 'church work' that they forget about the work of the church." Although this discussion was directed at one community in particular, I've since seen this exact problem affect many other communities, including my synagogue. It seems to me that we all should remember the reasons we have joined our particular faith community. Sure, perhaps we might do things differently, or we may disagree with our clergy or lay leaders, but we should be supportive of one another. We should build folks up, treat them with respect, not try to force our own issues onto an entire community and cause derision.

Her status update has been liked, commented on and shared multiple times and it got me to thinking. So many of our arguments—both good and bad—are removed from the presence of people and put on the Internet. They start with a discussion between people, face to face. And whether it's because people want the time to think their argument through, or the anonymity of the Internet, the arguments spill over to emails and Facebook messages. They get passed around, distorted and in some cases, publicly ridiculed.

The Internet makes it so easy to do this. Even on my blog, it's so much easier to write something on a computer screen then to say something to someone in person. It's a lot easier to be witty when I can craft the sentences and work on the timing, rather than having to do it in a split second. I'm horrible at comebacks in person, but give me a keyboard and some time and I'm pretty darn good.

The upside to that is that I can hit the delete button. I can take the time to think about whether or not to put my words out there. The downside is that it is so much easier to speak your mind when you don't have to look at the person you're speaking to; you don't have to see the hurt in their eyes or the blush on their face. We don't have to contend with the social cues that tell us when we've gone too far. Even nice things are easier to say in writing.

I love Raellen's comment and I'm glad she posted it on Facebook. In point of fact, it's not that much different from a conversation she had with me in person, so I want to be clear that I'm not saying she shouldn't have done it. Out of all the emails and comments I've seen posted this past week, hers is the one I wish EVERYONE would post. And then, after posting, think about, take to heart and maybe live.

It's the nasty ones I'm talking about. Words can't be taken back. Once they're spoken, or posted on the Internet or in emails or wherever, they're out there. There's an old Jewish story that's told about the harm words can cause. I'm going to mess it up, but it has to do with comparing words to the wind or maybe feathers that are contained and then released. Just like the wind or feathers released from their container, once words are spoken, there's no way to get them all back. There's no way to undo the damage completely.

The Internet and email just makes it easier to say these things without taking responsibility for them. And if we don't have to assume responsibility for our rudeness, then we're basically giving each other permission to be as awful as we want.

In closing, I'm linking to "The Nicest Place on the Internet." I'm not sure I buy this, or the benefit of it. I'm not sure I don't think it's cheesy. But after the past week or so that my friends and I have suffered through, I'll take all the help I can get.

Six Sentence Sunday

Here's another excerpt from Skin Deep:

She hugged him and dropped into her desk chair.

John remained motionless. He knew if he looked down, he'd see a hole where her cheek had burned into his chest. Even now he could feel the smoldering heat. He kept his breathing shallow as the imprint of her arms around his body squeezed his lungs and made it impossible to breathe. He struggled to regain his composure as he watched her log on and open her mail.

For more excerpts from great writers, check out Six Sentence Sunday.

Day Off

I'm taking this week off from this blog, for a few reasons:

a) My husband is home and my kids are not–VACATION!!

b) I'm all over the web today and tomorrow and frankly, I'm tired of myself.

c) If you'd like to visit me elsewhere, please check out the extensive interview Victoria Valentine did with me here or you can check out my book blurb (as well as those of 63 other writers) at Lila Munro's re-opening of her Realmantic Moments website–click through the warning. My stuff won't blind you and you might find some authors you really, really like! I'll be there from 2:00 p.m. on.

d) Tomorrow (1/3/12) I'm posting 7 things about me on my other blog Heroines With Hearts, the one I'm a weekly contributor to. I tried to come up with things that you might not know about me, or haven't been talked about 25 million times.

So, enjoy and I'll see you here next week!

What I've Learned From Chanukah This Year

My kids get that it's not about the gifts, but the giving.

The looks on their face when they open the crazy boxes I hide things in (waffle boxes, tissue boxes, etc.) is almost as good as their look of joy when they actually find their present.

If Charlie Brown had a menorah, it would look like mine. I'm using all the old, orphaned, faded and crooked candles this year, since my kids refuse.

I will never run out of wrapping paper or candles. Ever. If you ever see me trying to buy some, stop me.

Eating fried oreos is much more enjoyable when I don't have to look at the oil in the pan.

However, having friends over to share the fried oreos is the best!

It is possible, although difficult, to decorate my house for Chanukah without making it look like the Maccabees threw up in it.

There are almost as many ways to spell the holiday as there are to celebrate it. And I still think I have it wrong.

Meet Sandra Sookoo

I interviewed Sandra Sookoo for my blog today. Read about her, her latest book and enter her contest!

Sandra is a writer of romantic fiction. Her portfolio includes historical, contemporary, sci-fi and paranormal romances in full-length books as well as shorts and novellas. No matter if the heat level is spicy or sweet, she loves to blend genres and often times will add humor.

When not immersed in creating new worlds and interesting characters, Sandra likes to read, bake and travel. Her favorite place to spend vacation hours is Walt Disney World. It's where dreams come true and the soul can play. If she's not writing, she's keeping things interesting at her Believing is Seeing blog or spending time with her husband, who patiently answers questions she has about men and/or sci-fi-related subjects.

You can write to Sandra at sandrasookoo@yahoo.com, visit her website at www.sandrasookoo.com or look her up on Facebook and Twitter. All links are provided on the front page of her website.

What inspires you to write?

Life inspires me. Everything around me has bearing on the stories I create—people's personalities, sounds, scents, things I see. It could be as little as a snatch of conversation or looking at a picture that will jog my mind and create the beginnings of a story.

How long have you been writing?

Seems like forever LOL I wrote my first "epic" fantasy story at the age of ten and used all the neighborhood kids in it. I'd always written as a hobby but didn't get serious about having the work published until 2008. I'd gotten laid off the year before and decided the time was right to see if writing could be a career.

Do you outline ahead of time or do you write from your head (are you a plotter or a pantser)?

Oh, definitely I do an outline beforehand. I usually have a general idea of where I want the story to do then I'll go ahead and outline/plot each chapter as I go along. Will the outline change? Sometimes, but then I add the changes and continue on. It keeps me from writing myself into a corner.

What is your writing routine?

That largely depends on the day. I like to write in the afternoons as the mornings are way too busy doing other things. I also write long into the evenings.

What do you do when you're not writing?

I love to bake and cook. When I have time I read. I also live for anything Disney.

What are you currently working on?

Right now, I'm working on another retelling of a fairy tale. For a longer piece, I'm tinkering with an action-packed sci-fi book.

What is your favorite guilty pleasure?

Watching America's Next Top Model or eating butter toffee LOL

What is your favorite book you've written? Read?

Hmm, favorite book I've written? Yikes, that's like choosing a favorite child! But I really enjoyed writing Wedgie Tales and Panty Lines or a book that's out on submission now called Act of Pardon.

Favorite book I've read? Well recently it would have to be The Dark Side of Disney, which is a tongue in cheek travel book about Walt Disney World.

[image error]

Blurb for Wishful Thinking.

Believing may be seeing but confidence can change impossible situations.

Plus-sized Jovie Andrews is constantly passed over for promotions and she feels invisible. Things only get worse when her boss, thinking he can impress the owner of their company, tells everyone that she can change old contracts into gold bars. If Jovie thought her life was bad before, she had no idea how horrible it could be until she finds herself in a room with stacks of outdated contracts she's expected to miraculously transform.

As she pours a cup of tea, she rubs at a stain on the creamer pot, and a magical being, Rand, appears, saying he'll help her with her troubles–for a price each time. Skeptical yet curious about the exotically sexy man, she agrees, but she's not prepared for the erotic things he does to her as reward. Over the course of her trials, he teaches her how worthy of good things she really is.

Once the tasks are completed, and freed of Rand's help, Jovie is given an ultimatum: find out his full name or exchange her life for Rand's; otherwise, he'll be lost for all eternity and she'll be trapped in the prison he came from.

Book video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tn5A9LmM0nI

Short excerpt (adult due to language):

With a cry of frustration, Jovie rushed at the door. Yanking it open, she looked across the hall. Clinton stood in the doorway to his office, his grin wide. "Damn it, Clinton! If you think this ends here, you're a bigger ass than I thought!" She slammed the door, smacked a palm flat on the wood then turned around and sagged against it.

Fine, if he wanted her to produce, she'd do it. It couldn't be that hard, right? She needed to rise above the situation and make it work for her. Hadn't she heard that enough times from the slick salespeople she worked with? Put a positive spin on the issue and make it an opportunity for her advantage. Make a few calls, craft a deal the clients couldn't refuse and boom! New contracts.

A heavy sigh escaped her lips. No matter how she tried to think about it, it was still a tall order. Not to mention it would be difficult to call clients without a phone. Time for a cup of tea to start the creative process.

Ignoring the mess of the paper-strewn table, she moved to the catering cart and poured a cup of the amber-colored liquid. Immediately, the floral fragrance of the tea wafted around her. She dropped a sugar cube into the hot beverage, watching as the block dissolved under the surface. When she reached for the creamer container, she frowned to see the shiny, silver vessel marred by fingerprints and water droplets. Stupid men who didn't know how to properly clean the silver service. Jovie retrieved a linen napkin from the tray and polished first one side then the other until it shone under the gentle overhead light.

"Much better." Jovie poured a thin stream of milk into her cup and smiled when the glassy surface clouded. She'd picked up the habit of enjoying tea during her trip to London a few years ago. In the midst of chaos, the act of sitting down and sipping the beverage promoted calm.

As she returned the creamer container to the tray, a cloud of shimmering aqua smoke filled the conference room, obliterating the table, the catering cart and everything else for several seconds.

She coughed when the dust entered her lungs. It tasted faintly of exotic candied fruits yet was perfumed with warm spices and bergamot. Tears streamed to her cheeks from the irritant, prompting her to dab at the moisture with the napkin. When she opened her eyes, the smoke had cleared and a strange man stood before her.

"You're right." A subtle English accent danced through the baritone voice. "This is much better."

"Who are you and where did you come from?" She couldn't help but admire the man even as her brain screamed out a warning to run.

Skin the hue of a New Orleans café-au-lait and eyes of such a brilliant green they could have been tinted contact lenses, he moved away from the catering cart and prowled the small room. Black hair fell to his wide shoulders in windblown waves. It looked so soft she wanted to reach out a hand and touch it to confirm.

Jovie swallowed hard. That skin made her crave fried pastries. She followed the thought with another—sprinkling him with powdered sugar so she could lick off every white fleck, from those to-die-for shoulders over his probably swoonful abs and… Oh God. Flutters filled her stomach. Her mouth watered as she stared. "Who are you?" Come on, answer me so I can figure out if I'm talking to an illusion.

He wore a soft-looking white t-shirt that hugged a fit chest and showcased muscled arms and broad shoulders. Heat rushed through her bloodstream, making her limbs feel they had the integrity of cooked pasta, but she continued her perusal. How could she not? His torso tapered into a narrow waist and slim hips. Powerfully built thighs stole her breath. Though black denim covered his bottom half, she tried to imagine what those legs would feel like, pinning her to a bed or how his unleashed cock would feel like as it spilled into her hands.

Yeah right. If this man ended up being real, there was no way he'd want to do that with her.

As if aware of her thoughts, the man's sensuous lips parted with a grin that flashed white teeth. "You never know." The bulge at his fly twitched. "I have been cursed into that vile creamer pot for a century. You have no idea how wonderful it is to be free."

Curses? A century or so old? Jovie's mind reeled from the new information. "What are you doing here? In this room? At this company?" She glanced at the still-closed door. "No matter what Clinton told you, I'm not stupid. How did you really get in here?" Was this part of her boss's plan to distract her away from her work?

The man sighed, as if he'd had this exact conversation too many times in the past. "I occupy the space between worlds. A nether realm if you will, sent there by an extremely over-zealous voodoo priestess years ago." He closed the distance until a mere arm's length of air separated them. "She had a rather adverse reaction to my ending our affair. Thus the curse."

Available at Liquid Silver Books:

All Romance e-books: http://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-wishfulthinking-652339-149.html

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Wishful-Thinking-ebook/dp/B006HWGB7Q/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1323088771&sr=8-1

Curious about my other works? Come check me out here:

Website: http://www.sandrasookoo.com

Believing is Seeing blog: http://sandrasookoo.wordpress.com/

Twitter: http://twitter.com/sandrasookoo

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/sandra.sookoo

Contest time! Because Jovie met Rand over a tea tray, I thought it would be fun to offer a small of Harney & Sons tea plus two gourmet, imported tea cookies (individually sealed) to one lucky commenter! Plus, winner will get book swag. Please remember to leave your contact information. Contest will run through midnight EST December 23rd.

Making A List…

Every year I get closer to the wire at holiday time, but this year has to be my worst. Tomorrow night is the first night of Chanukah, and I still have to decorate the house and wrap all the presents. I'll admit it, I procrastinated, but the holiday snuck up on me. In my defense, going by the non-Jewish calendar, the holiday changes dates each year (yes, it always falls on the same day according to the Jewish calendar, but until the rest of the world uses the Jewish calendar regularly, I'm sticking to my story).

But this leads me to my big question. Can someone please explain to me why, every year, I run across Christmas shoppers in a state of panic, who scream, "OH MY GOD, CHRISTMAS IS ONLY DAYS AWAY AND I'M NOT READY!"? I don't mean the shoppers trying to take advantage of holiday sales. I'm only talking about the ones who are overwhelmed by the fast-approaching holiday. I truly mean no offense here (my husband claims that if I say that, I really do mean offense, but I swear, in this particular case, I'm merely very confused). Christmas falls on the same date every year. Never changes. Ever. It's not like the holiday sneaks up on you. Even if the weather goes all haywire and it doesn't get cold or snow, there are clear hints that it's coming.

Commercials on TV start at least a month beforehand. Stores other than Nordstrom decorate for the holidays in October.

Coupons and fliers with the words "Christmas sales" splayed all over them start arriving even before that. You even get Thanksgiving as a prelude.

So I really don't understand how this holiday can creep up and surprise you. Maybe I'm just observing a few, super-disorganized and forgetful people. Maybe these panicked shoppers are the same ones who forget their spouse's birthday or anniversary. Maybe it's just because the rest of the people have all completed their shopping in September, and the only ones left are the ones who "forget."

I don't know what the answer is, but I don't have time to stick around and find out—I just remembered I forgot the Chanukah candles! [image error]

Happy holidays everyone!

Deja-vu Blogfest

DL Hammons, who writes a blog "Cruising Altitude 2.0, suggested a blogfest, where we repost an old blog that we wrote. I thought it was a great idea, so I'm participating. For more info about the blogfest, click Deja-vu Blogfest

[image error] Jumping Off the Bandwagon (originally published in November 2010)

I make a lot of mistakes, but if there is one thing I'm proud of, it's not following the crowd. I don't listen to other people's advice about school and my kids. In fact, I've found that I do a much better job of raising my kids when I ignore what other people say. This teacher is great? Okay, we'll see. That teacher is horrible? Okay, we'll see. This grade is impossibly hard? Okay, we'll see. I've found that usually, the people who are the first to offer me unsolicited advice are usually the ones who are completely wrong. The bad teachers are good, the good not so impressive, and the grade remarkably doable.

I've never been comfortable following the crowd. I can't pull off the "in" look; I don't fit in with the "in" people. I'm much more comfortable being me and surrounding myself with people who appreciate me for who I am, and who have their own unique qualities that I love and appreciate just as much. So it dismays me when I see people taking serious issues and suddenly making them "popular"—not because it's the right thing to do, but because it will somehow benefit them, either by making them look cool or popular. Take, for example, the political outcry surrounding the Tyler Clementi bullying case. It was a horrible thing that happened, people should definitely do something about it and I support anything that will help stop bullying and keep our kids safe. But people should have been working just as hard to stop bullying before this teenager killed himself, not only after it happened. The politicians who have made it their cause give me the impression that they are championing it because it will win them votes from both sides of the aisle—who's NOT going to back an anti-bullying law? Bullying has been around forever. What did the politicians do about it before and how many of them will continue to involve themselves in the issue after the bill is signed? Will they work to actually stop kids from being bullied, or will they move onto the next hot-button issue and forget all about it? How will that honor Tyler's name?

Social media does much to increase awareness of things, but it also turns everything into a popularity contest. How many of us "like" a cause because all of our friends do? During the week prior to Thanksgiving, everyone starts listing things they're thankful for in their status updates. Well, that's great. Being thankful is important. Buy why is it only "popular" to do so then? What about the rest of the year? Are we simply not thankful, or too embarrassed to say we are? It's easy to do so when all of our "friends" are; less so during the rest of the year. Does declaring it publically to 547 friends make us more thankful than those who truly feel it, but keep it to themselves (or only tell a few people in private)?

I'm tired of being told to support causes, declare my love for my child, or be thankful because everyone else is doing it. I'd much rather support a cause because I feel it's important; declare my love for my child with an actual hug (rather than a virtual one); and tell the people I love why exactly I am thankful for them individually. Public support of causes can be a great thing, but only when done for the right reason.