Jennifer Wilck's Blog, page 53

Valentine's Day

As a teenager, when I didn’t have a boyfriend, I hated Valentine’s Day (or, as some “brilliant” kid in high school wrote on a sign in the hallway, VD Day). I was jealous of all the girls who had someone with whom to celebrate the holiday.
Once I met my husband, the holiday was much more enjoyable, filled with romance, candy, stuffed animals and flowers. It wasn’t until we got married that I truly found out his dislike of the holiday. No, he doesn’t dislike showing me how much he loves me; he just dislikes having to do it on some predetermined date set by a card company. He’d much rather show me he loves me on March 3 or April 27 or ten minutes from now.
Now that I’m older and wiser, I understand his feelings and can appreciate the thought he’d rather put into his feelings on his own. I, too, would much rather spontaneously say, “I love you” than say it on command. And there’s something not quite comfortable about the competition to make the most of the holiday.
Still, I like anything that celebrates love, which is why I insist on some form of acknowledgement of the holiday.
It’s also why I like writing romance. While I don’t like writing perfect characters, I do like writing perfect moments, perfect reactions, perfect demonstrations of love. They are sprinkled throughout lots of imperfect moments, unanticipated reactions and less than ideal demonstrations of emotions. They’re rewarded to imperfect characters who have a lot to learn before they get those hearts and flowers. But they hopefully give the reader an escape, a chance to dream about what could be, and a moment away from the reality of life.
My latest romance, The Seduction of Esther, (http://www.amazon.com/Seduction-Esther-Jennifer-Wilck-ebook/dp/B00D4J6A80/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1389974309&sr=8-1&keywords=jennifer+wilck) is on sale for Valentine’s Day for a special price of $0.99! So if you haven’t bought it yet, now is a great time!
And this Valentine’s Day, nine other author friends of mine are celebrating love and romance with a Words from the Heart Valentine’s Day party. Feel free to hop along to any of their blogs and check them out:
Donna Steele http://www.steelestories.com/blogNancy LaPonzina http://nancylaponzina.comBethann Buehler http://bethannbuehler.blogspot.comDenisea Kampe http://www.lilamunro.com/realmantic-moments-blog.htmlSheila Dool http://itsmesheila.blogspot.comJane Wakely http://www.janewakely.blogspot.comJL Oiler http://jloiler.bravesites.comEleanor Tatum http://eleanortatum.com/category/blog/Nick Santa Rosa http://nicksantarosa.blogspot.com
However you celebrate, and with whomever, Happy Valentine’s Day!
And don’t forget to enter to win a Kindle Paperwhite! <a id="rc-c5869e13" class="rafl" href="http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/c5869e13/" rel="nofollow">a Rafflecopter giveaway</a>
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Valentine's Day Party

It's a party and you're all invited!
Words From the Heart Valentine's Party...Join me and nine other wonderful authors for a three day celebration of romance...
February 12th we'll get the celebration started at Goddess Fish PartyPavilion from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. EST with a release party.
February 13th you'll get a chance to visit each author's blog and get their thoughts on Valentine's Day:
Donna Steele                          Jane Wakely
Nancy LaPonzina                   JL Oiler
BethAnn Buehler                    Jennifer Wilck
Denisea Kampe                       Eleanor Tatum
Sheila Dool                             Nick Santa Rosa
We'll end on February 14th at the Rebel Ink Press Readers' Club for an all day freestyle chat.
Grand Prize will be a Kindle Paper White drawn for through Rafflecopter so be sure to visit us daily as there will multiple ways to enter. There will also be a gift card giveaway on the Rafflecopter, various other flash giveaways from some of the authors along the way, and we'll have featured reads on sale for $0.99 for the entire three days. Don't miss out. Mark your calendars and bring a friend!

Snow Day

It’s another snow day in New Jersey and my kids are actually bored. We’ve gotten to the point where, while they still hope for snow days, there’s no jumping around, no squeals of glee and no running to tell the other they don’t have school.
Of course, it could be that the teenager goes back to sleep and spends the morning in bed, while the pre-teen knows better than to wake her up.
When my girls were little, snow days meant bundling up in snow pants, hats, mittens and coats and playing outside. We built forts and snowmen and fought valiantly with snowballs. When the roads were cleared, we’d drive to the local park and sled down the hills. We have the requisite photos and videos of the activities.
But now, they have no desire to play in the snow. Snow is cold and wet and they like to be warm and dry. They’d rather Snapchat their friends, watch TV or do some other indoor activity.
There’s only so much they can do by themselves without getting bored. They want to see their friends, they want the typical routine of their days, they even want to be in school, because that, at least, keeps them busy.
They’re old enough, at this point, that having them home doesn’t necessarily infringe on my day. Sure, there are interruptions and I don’t have the house entirely to myself, but I can get my work done when I need to.
I think it’s all the stopping and starting. Start the school routine; get interrupted and stay home. Stay home long enough or often enough and get bored. Get ready to go back to school. Rinse and repeat.
I’m not one to complain about weather—it’s supposed to snow in the winter and be hot in the summer. But this winter has been brutal and endless and it’s only the beginning of February.

And you know it’s bad when the kids are unimpressed with snow days!

Stress

Oh, the pressure to write these blog posts when there are so many things I don’t want to discuss or think about or talk about anymore. But writing is cathartic and helps alleviate stress.
The good thing about being under stress is that I’m learning what sets me off and what calms me down. As my husband will be sure to point out, just because I know what calms me down doesn’t mean I’m any good at actually taking advantage of it. JBut at least identifying things is a good start.
I’m very good at giving advice to others to calm down and not stress about things. Advice is easy to give. It takes you outside of yourself, outside of the situation and makes it easier to stay objective. And it’s almost impossible to stress about something objectively. Try it!
I’ve tried making lists and working my way through them. That works to some extent, although the length of the lists, and the sub-lists that are created, are a bit daunting. But lists let me think I’m in control, even when I’m so clearly not.
What I’ve found works best is diversion. Walking the dog, when the weather cooperates, is great. It lets my brain relax. I can make up stories in my head, think about other things, or just drift off and admire the view.
When the weather doesn’t cooperate, I write. Not here and not about what bothers me. I write and edit my stories. I disappear into my characters’ lives, which I can control. I forget about everything pressing down on me and I create a “happily ever after” for them. I ignore me for a while.
I didn’t think I’d get much writing done, because I’ve always wanted to concentrate, to have the circumstances be just right. But I’ve learned to be flexible. I’ve learned to focus my concentration on what is on my screen and what my fingers are doing, rather than on my surroundings or the many “what ifs” in my head. And it seems to be working. I’m flying through pages and pages of edits. I’m rewriting scenes and creating new ones.
I wouldn’t recommend this state of mind for writers, or anyone, on a regular basis, but as a temporary thing, it seems to be working. We’ll see what comes out of it and in the meantime, I’m looking ahead and waiting for everything to pass.

Eventually.

Grateful

I’m a pretty self-sufficient person. It’s not that there’s no one around to help me, it’s just that unless there’s a requirement for me to be in multiple places at the same time, I’m really able to do things myself. And I do them.
I’m also particular about how I do things, and I’d much rather do something myself, my way, than have other people do them in ways that I don’t like.
However, recently something happened that is requiring meto depend on the help of many others in order to get things done and keep life as we’re used to moving along in as uninterrupted a way as possible.
And you know what? I’ve discovered that there are a lot of people willing to step in, step up and help out. Some of those people surprise me; they’re not on my “Go-To List” that I’d ordinarily think of when I need help. Others have shown me why they’re my friends in the first place. And my family, of course, is always willing to step in at a moment’s notice—even at 7 a.m.!
It’s a nice preview of the months to come. There’s a warm fuzzy feeling when a friend says, “Let me help you.” There’s gratitude when someone understands that I just can’t handle One. More. Thing. and they take over for me. And there’s tremendous appreciation when someone does something without being asked.

I still rely on my own independence. But it’s nice to know that my safety net is bigger than I thought it was. And to all those weaving those supporting strands, a huge thank you!

The New Year

If you troll through your Facebook feed (or, for those of you with actual, real-life friends, talk to them in person), you’ll notice that many of them are making New Year’s resolutions. If you look at my Facebook posts, or read blog posts from previous years, or even ask me in person (hey, there’s a thought!), you’ll see that I don’t often make resolutions.
This year is no exception, but my reasoning is quite different.
I’m sure my current mental state is coloring my thoughts right now in bright and bold colors, but resolutions are for people who are carefree, whose lives are going ahead as planned, who are currently experiencing a lull in what’s going on around them.
I haven’t felt carefree in months. My life, while fortunate, is not progressing quite as planned. And a lull? Um, no.
Resolutions are for people who have control over their surroundings and the people who inhabit them. I don’t. There are too many big things coming up this year, things that are completely out of my control, despite my best efforts to exert myself into the mix and to fool myself into thinking we’ve got this. We don’t, and the best I can do right now is hold on, close my eyes and focus on breathing.
I guess I could make a resolution to keep breathing. That’s always useful. And while I don’t have a new baby in the house (nor do I have any plans to acquire one), some days, waking up and taking a shower are my biggest accomplishments of the day. Other days, it’s getting all kids to their appointments and back (back being the key word here) or making dinner or writing.
I don’t belong to a gym and have no plans to join one. My self-confidence is difficult enough to maintain on my own without throwing myself into a situation where everyone looks better, has better stamina and loves the activity better than I do. And eating right? Well, stress is taking care of that for me—some days the stress makes me overeat and other days it prevents me from eating at all. Going along with the “everything in moderation” rule, I’m assuming that it will all work out in the end, so I’m not imposing some fad diet on my already pissed off digestive system.

My wish for my coming year is one of peace, strength, grace and wisdom. Peace to get through the chaos. And believe me, there will be a lot of it. Strength to deal with whatever major things come my way, both the good and the bad. There will be both. Grace in dealing with those around me, whose own lives may be filled with trials unknown. And for those who have to deal with me. Wisdom to realize that life is a cycle. There is good with the bad, comfort with the fear, tears and laughter.

The Writing Process Blog Hop

Today, I’m participating in the “My Writing Process” blog tour, where writers take turns answering questions about their writing process. I’d like to thank Paula Martin for inviting me to participate. Last week, she answered questions, and you can find her answers here http://paulamartinpotpourri.blogspot.com/. Paula also writes contemporary romance, but her stories are usually set in European locations. She and I met as fellow authors at Whiskey Creek Press http://www.whiskeycreekpress.com/store/and she was kind enough to invite me to be the Tuesday contributor to the Heroines With Hearts blog http://www.heroineswithhearts.blogspot.com.
My own writing process tends to change depending on what else is going on in my life. But, I’ll try to give it some clarity as I answer the questions. So, here goes:
What am I working on?: I just finished the rough draft of two manuscripts. One is a stand-alone contemporary romance inspired by this beautiful old Victorian mansion that I checked out during an open house (I would have bought it too, if I’d had a few spare million dollars lying around). My girls and I fell in love with it, and it got my creative juices going. However, everyone dislikes my first scene (they like the second one though), so I’m currently doing major rewrites. The second manuscript is the sequel to The Seduction of Esther http://www.amazon.com/Seduction-Esther-Jennifer-Wilck-ebook/dp/B00D4J6A80/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1387652415&sr=8-2&keywords=jennifer+wilck. The hero in this book is the villain from the previous one, and the heroine is the previous heroine’s sister. The Jewish holiday it works around is Passover.How does my work differ from others of its genre?: Well, there are very few Jewish contemporary romances out there that are not chick lit. And there are even fewer that deal with holidays other than Chanukah. My goal is to make the Judaism seem as natural in my books as the Christianity is in other books. Even stories that don’t revolve around Christmas usually have an unspoken Christian piece to them—the characters go to church, or they get married in a church. I love reading those books, but I wanted to write something a little different. In The Seduction of Esther, the story takes place around the holiday of Purim. The holiday provided a great conflict—hiding one’s identity, and gave me a fun way of using the holiday—a holiday play. In my latest work, readers will get a glimpse of the Passover preparations and the holiday dinner, or seder.Why do I write what I do?: In addition to what I said above, I’ve always loved reading romances and when I sat down to write, it just seemed like a natural thing to do. I like escaping from reality for a bit, and I love the guaranteed “happily ever after.”How does your writing process work?:When my kids were little, I used to write at night, after I put them to bed. Now that they’re older, I have a hard time staying up later than they do. Plus, there are too many distractions, and I like spending time with my husband and watching TV. So now I write when they are in school. I usually get work and errands done in the morning and write or edit from lunch until they get home. Writing a first draft usually takes me about six to eight months. Then I take about three months to edit. After that, I submit and start writing the next book while I wait for someone to show an interest in what I’ve written.

Once again, I’d like to thank Paula Martin for involving me in this blog hop. Next week, be sure to check out Lila Munro at http://www.lilamunro.com/realmantic-moments-blog.htmland Debra St. John at http://bookbeatbabes.blogspot.com

It's The Little Things

Little things are making me feel better. Checking something off a huge list. Coming up with a logistical solution. Talking it through with her one more time.
I suspect it’s a preview of what’s to come a few months from now. Progress will be measured in little things—comparing today to yesterday, sitting up, walking, smiling (yeah, that one is going to take a long time).
I’d love for all of this to be taken care of with a flip of a switch. I’d like for someone to swoop in and make it right all at once.

But for now, and for the foreseeable future, I’m taking heart in the little things.

Two Wrongs

My daughter showed me an article* on Saturday and suggested I read it. The story was about a Hollywood producer who flew on an airplane on Thanksgiving with a rude passenger and his response to her.
He overheard her rude, entitled comments to the flight attendant and he began live tweeting what was happening to his thousands of followers (see, this is what happens when the FAA changes their electronic devices rule). Eventually, his live tweets began including photographs of notes that he wrote and had delivered to her. Then he tweeted her responses. The woman became so angry that when they got off the plane, she slapped him. Flight security offered to call the police, but he refused. His followers on Twitter have declared him a hero. He then took to Tumblr to explain the reasons for actions and why he wasn’t a hero.
When my daughter showed me the articles, I laughed. I have to admit, the live tweets were pretty funny. And I appreciated his stance in his follow-up article where he explained that he was not a hero and that service people should never have to take the kind of abuse to which the flight attendant was subjected.
But once I got past the first laugh, my opinions changed.
What the producer did was wrong. Social media makes it very easy to get caught up in what you’re doing, to feed off the reactions of others, and to think that you’re bringing a wrong to light. It also makes it easy to cross a line.
It’s one thing to live tweet something anonymously: “There’s a woman doing x.” We all do it and the anonymity makes it okay. It’s humiliating, however, to make it personal. By showing the notes that went back and forth between the producer and the woman, he made it personal.
The woman was a bully. There is no doubt that verbally abusing a flight attendant and blaming him or her personally for ruining Thanksgiving is wrong. But bullies feed on anger. Anger drives them to behave the way they do, and other people’s anger rarely stops them. Kindness kills them. People united against a bully stops them. If he really felt the need to write her a note, he could have shown compassion and still rebuked her for her actions.
For that matter, if he really felt the need to engage, he could have directed his time and energy to supporting the flight attendant. Instead, he put the flight attendant in the awkward position of delivering the notes, something that the flight attendant eventually refused to do.
When the flight security people offered to call the police, he refused. I don’t know why, but I suspect that if he had asked the police to get involved, he may have gotten cited for harassment. Because he did harass the woman, no matter how rude she may have been. He might be smart enough to outwit her, but all he’s done is moved the bullying from the verbal field to a social media one. His intentions are good, but his methods are not. He’s not diffusing the situation. He’s certainly not helping it. He’s pumping the top and letting it spin where it may.
Two wrongs do not make a right, no matter what he may think.
*I’ve deliberately refrained from linking to the articles or by mentioning his Twitter handle. If you’re that interested in reading them, I’m sure you can find them on your own (hint: check out Huffington Post Parents).

Book Birthday Winners

Thank you to everyone who participated in my book birthday for Skin Deep. As a result of your comments, retweets, shares, etc., I’ll be donating $50 to The Rachel Coalition (http://www.rachelcoalition.org).
Additionally, I’ve randomly drawn the three winners for the birthday prizes. They are:
Ana Morgan, for a signed copy of Skin Deep.
Mae Clair, for a birthday gift pack.
Mary Preston, for a Sephora gift card.

Thank you again for helping me celebrate and for helping out a worthy cause. And congratulations to the winners!