Catherine Mattice's Blog

Speak Like a CEO, Lead Like HR: Power Language That Drives Culture Change

Last week, we gave you tips on how to make a business case for culture change. Did you try it yet? How did it go?

As we were brainstorming for this week’s newsletter, we realized that part two is in order, and it’s all about how you present the amazing business case you’ve established.

When HR professionals take this next step, we often see it go one of two ways. Some lean in, use their data to tell a powerful story, and capture leadership’s attention. Others come armed with engagement data, turnover costs, and retention risks and still face polite smiles and redirected attention to “more urgent” business matters.

It’s frustrating, right? Especially when you see what others don’t. That culture is the engine behind performance, retention, and brand reputation. HR sees the full picture, connecting the human experience to business outcomes. That means you don’t just deserve a seat at the table — you already own one. You just need the right language to make others see it too.

Because here’s the thing: it’s not that your case isn’t strong. It’s that you’re speaking a language leadership doesn’t respond to. Executives are filtering for what sounds like business. That’s why power language is powerful. It’s about framing your message in a way that triggers urgency, relevance, and accountability in the minds of decision-makers.

Power Language You Can Use

The best part is, you already have the insight. You just need to translate it into the language leaders respect most: results, risk, and return. Here’s how:

 

Speak in Metrics, Not Morals

When you say, “We need to make people feel appreciated,” it sounds nice. But when you say, “We’re losing high performers because they don’t feel recognized and replacing them could cost us $250K this year,” it sounds necessary.

Leaders don’t ignore emotions because they don’t care; they ignore them because they don’t have time to interpret what those emotions mean for the business. So make it easy for them. Tie every culture problem to a business impact – productivity, retention, innovation, risk, or reputation.

Don’t just speak from the heart. Lead with numbers that hit them in the gut.

 

Align Culture Change with Business Strategy

Once you start speaking in metrics, the next step is to speak in alignment.

Culture doesn’t live in a vacuum. It fuels (or frustrates) your business goals. But too often, HR leads with what you want to do instead of why it helps the business win. Connect the dots between culture and strategy so clearly that executives can’t see one without the other.

Think about how your company defines success and make culture the bridge that gets you there faster. Speak like this:

“To meet our innovation goals, we need a culture where employees feel safe challenging ideas.”“To improve client retention, we have to first improve employee engagement.”“If we want operational excellence, we have to eliminate the dysfunction slowing teams down.”

That’s how you make leadership see culture not as HR’s project, but as the fuel behind every business priority they already care about.

 

Use Storytelling to Make Data Come Alive

Numbers open doors, but stories keep them open. You can have all the data in the world about engagement, turnover, or performance, but numbers alone don’t move hearts. And if you want leadership to not only understand your culture case but also feel compelled to act, you have to go beyond charts and metrics. You have to tell a story. Here’s an example

“When one of our sales departments was struggling with turnover nearing 45% a year, all tied to one abrasive leader, the team invested in leadership coaching for the abrasive leader. Within six months, turnover dropped by half. The leader was more effective. The same employees who once dreaded coming to work were now mentoring others. Productivity rose, complaints disappeared, and even customers noticed the difference.”

That’s not just a success story. It’s proof that culture work works. Leaders remember stories like that. They retell them. They use them to justify decisions in boardrooms and budget meetings.

 

Anticipate Leadership Pushback and Reframe It

Leaders are wired to protect resources, manage risk, and question change. So when they push back with “We don’t have time” or “That’s not a priority right now,” it doesn’t mean they don’t believe in culture — it means they’re trying to protect the business as they see it.

Your job is to reframe that mindset, to help them see that inaction is the bigger risk.

Here’s how: “I completely understand we have limited bandwidth. But ignoring turnover and burnout now will cost far more later in recruiting, lost productivity, and damaged morale. This isn’t about adding work. It’s about preventing a crisis.”

Pushback is not a dead end; it’s an invitation to clarify your value. Hold your ground with confidence and composure so leaders will start following your lead.

 

Final Thoughts

You are the heartbeat of the organization and it’s time to own that power. These are just a few examples and if you’re ready to take your influence to the next level, check out our resource, “Power Language Playbook,” for more phrases, examples, and scripts you can start using right away.

And when your organization is ready to move from talk to action, our team of culture experts,  with decades of experience helping companies transform toxic environments into thriving, high-performing workplaces, is here to guide you every step of the way.

You’ve got the insight. You’ve got the influence. Now use your language to lead the change.

The post Speak Like a CEO, Lead Like HR: Power Language That Drives Culture Change appeared first on Civility Partners.

6 Steps to Build a Business Case for Culture Change

If you’re reading this, you’re probably standing in the middle of an impossible tug-of-war.

Leadership wants data. Employees want meaning. And somehow, you’re supposed to turn feelings, trust, and respect into metrics that fit on a slide deck.

But here’s the truth: culture doesn’t “just happen.” It’s built intentionally through organizational behavior, individual behavior, and leadership team behavior. And when it’s ignored, it shows up everywhere: turnover reports, exit interviews, and Sunday-night dread.

As an HR leader, you’re tired of being asked to “prove” the ROI of something everyone can feel when it’s missing. You’ve watched great employees walk away, seen toxicity take root, and felt the sting of being told to “focus on engagement” with no budget, no plan, and no buy-in.

You’re the one who knows that culture drives results but can’t always get the room to see it.

 

The Reality of the Pain

The global research from SHRM shows that only 56% of employees rate their organization’s culture as “good or excellent,” while 8% say it’s downright “poor or terrible.”

When culture is rated poorly, the cost is immediate and real: 57% of employees in poor cultures say they’re actively job hunting or plan to be soon. And it’s not just turnover. About 30% of employees worldwide report feeling burned out, disengaged, or ready to quit.

This paints a clear picture: when culture isn’t a priority, the costs pile up. Turnover rises, productivity drops, engagement fades, and incivility quietly spreads through the organization, eroding everything you’ve worked to build.

 

Why Culture Is a Strategic Asset

Your executive leadership may view culture work as a discretionary cost. But in reality, culture is the fuel that drives the engine of performance.

According to SHRM, employees in organizations with strong cultures are almost four times more likely to stay with their employer.

And consulting research shows that intentional investments in culture yield significant returns: for example, one case cited by Enculture estimated a return of 548% over 18 months from culture and engagement work, including reductions in turnover and absenteeism and improvements in productivity.

Furthermore, you can link culture metrics (engagement, turnover, referrals) to business outcomes and thus build a credible ROI story.

 

Constructing a Business Case for Culture Work

Here’s how you create a business case that resonates with the C-suite.

 

1. Define the critical problems keeping your leaders awake at night

What causes your CEO and leaders to stress these days? Rising prices for goods? Reduced sales due to the economy? Increased pay demands from the workforce? Shrinking customer loyalty due to competition?

Determine what problems you need to be focused on solving, so that you can present your ideas as a solution.

 

2. Map the company culture to the problem and solution

If prices of goods and services are rising, and sales are sinking, your leaders are focused on profitability. That means they’re focused on reducing costs for the things and people your company needs to function so the sales dollars can go farther and last longer.

Turnover reduces profitability because it increases the cost of people. If turnover is caused by toxic behavior it makes addressing culture a way to increase profitability. If you can link turnover to culture, and a better culture to reduced turnover and therefore increased profitability, you may have a suggestion here that your leaders care about. 

 

3. Estimate the cost of inaction

Demonstrate the risk of not acting. For example, what is the cost of turnover in your organization? There are many stats out there to help you obtain that answer in a dollar figure. 

You can also calculate that figure in our Culture Calculator. You just need to input your organization’s data, and you’ll see the results right away—real numbers that make the business impact of culture work impossible to ignore. You’ll also need exit interview data citing culture and other such problems, Glassdoor comments, and whatever else you can find to tie turnover to the culture issues.

 

4. Estimate the investment and forecast the return

Now that you have the cost of culture, or all that turnover, now you can present a plan showing Return On Investment (ROI). You might say:

Turnover has cost us $500,000 in the last 12 months due to X number of exits and this calculation.Exit interviews indicate that people leave because of a toxic work culture. I propose spending $80,000 on addressing the culture problems identified in the exit interviews so that we reduce turnover and our workforce becomes much more profitable. I’ll be able to prove ROI after six months as I am confident turnover will be reduced by a minimum of 25% during that initial time period, reducing workforce costs by $125,000. Within the next set of 6 months I anticipate cutting turnover by a total of 50%, or workforce costs by a total of $250,000.

 

5. Define leading indicators and a measurement plan

Executives want proof that culture work is working, not just good stories.

Choose a few key indicators you can measure regularly – signs that your culture work is moving in the right direction. For example, you might track how many managers complete civility or leadership training, how often employees speak up in surveys, or how team-level culture scores change over time. Ultimately, you’ll track the reduced turnover.

Don’t just measure how people feel about culture. Measure what’s actually changing in behavior and performance. That’s how you show ROI in a language your executives understand.

 

6. Legitimize risk mitigation of workplace bullying and incivility

It’s time to move the conversation about bullying and incivility out of the “HR problem” category and into “business risk.” When leaders understand that culture problems are also risk management problems, they start paying attention. Frame your argument this way: addressing bullying and incivility is about protecting the organization from financial, legal, and brand harm. Creating a civil, respectful culture is both a moral and strategic imperative.

 

The Opportunity

Right now is the moment. Talent, hybrid work models, and the growing demand for well-being and inclusion have made workplace culture impossible to ignore. If your organization doesn’t invest intentionally, it risks falling behind losing talent, losing reputation, and ultimately, losing performance.

You and I know the work: diagnosing culture, rebuilding behavior norms, integrating civility and psychological safety, and aligning leadership with values that drive results. But the C-suite needs more than passion. They need a plan. They need a business case that explains why now, what will change, how it will be measured, and what the return will be.

Also check out our free resource, Obtaining Leadership Buy-In, for more practical tools, conversation strategies, and data-backed talking points to secure executive support for culture work.

And when you’re ready to move beyond the business case, to do real culture work with real experts, contact us at Civility Partners. We’ll help you build a culture that retains great people, protects your organization from risk, and powers lasting performance.

The post 6 Steps to Build a Business Case for Culture Change appeared first on Civility Partners.

Even Small Teams Can’t Afford to Ignore Culture

Whenever we talk about culture, we often hear, “We’re too small to need culture work,” or “We’re a small company; we’ve got it covered.”

But here’s the reality: you’re too small not to focus on culture.

When you only have 20 or 50 people, for example, every interaction matters more – the impact is potentially greater. Consider the difference between throwing a rock into a large puddle and how the ripples hit every inch versus throwing a rock into Lake Erie, where it’s basically a non-issue. In small companies, every voice carries more weight. Every misstep ripples across the entire organization. Culture isn’t just a “big company” problem but a human one.

According to the latest State of Employee Experience in SMBs 2024 report from HR.com and UKG, culture is the difference between small organizations that thrive and those that slowly bleed talent, engagement, and profit.

“Experience-leader” organizations, those that intentionally invest in culture, are over 20 times more likely to see high or very high returns on their investments than their “laggard” peers. Leaders are also twice as likely to describe their culture as positive, with “no or few toxic behaviors,” while laggards are five times more likely to say that negative culture is actively damaging employee experience. Let that sink in: the quality of your culture can make or break ROI, engagement, and retention even in the smallest teams.

 

Small Company, Big Consequences

In a 30-person company, losing one employee because of poor culture is the equivalent of a large enterprise losing hundreds. When someone quits, or worse, stays but disengages, the cost isn’t just the vacancy. It’s the loss of institutional knowledge, client continuity, morale, and momentum. The impact that one person has is enormous. 

According to the HR.com and UKG study, culture problems in small and mid-sized organizations are often visible but untreated. Culture breaks in a small team, everyone feels it immediately, and nothing happens to address it.

 

Why HR Must Lead the Culture Conversation

In many small businesses, “HR” is one person or no one at all. Often that person has little formal HR training, or their people duties compete with other daily responsibilities like managing the office or accounting. 

While HR alone can’t fix a toxic work culture, especially one perpetuated by poor leadership, HR can absolutely push back against the trends that allow it to take root.

That same study mentioned above found that 70% of culture-laggard organizations cited budget constraints as their biggest barrier to improving employee experience. It’s always such a nasty cycle, isn’t it? The thought process is, “We can’t afford to address culture but we’re spending money on culture if we do nothing at all.” But what’s really at play is the belief that culture isn’t urgent, and that just because you can’t see the cost of turnover on a P&L that it doesn’t exist. In truth, the cost of not investing in culture far outweighs the cost of doing it right.

As culture experts, we’ve seen this pattern repeatedly: teams start small, driven by purpose and connection. As they grow, cracks appear. Someone is promoted without leadership training and accountability slips, and communication becomes reactive. Because the organization is small, no one stopped to define what great leadership is, who has those skills, and who needs to hone in on them. The organization just grows, with no thought to culture strategy.

By the time the organization calls for help, the “too small” myth has turned into a full-blown crisis with distrust and conflict, lack of engagement, and turnover.

Curious what your culture is costing you? Try our Culture Calculator to see how much the culture gaps are impacting your bottom line.

 

Listen to Your Team

Employees experience the day-to-day reality of your business; they’re the ones who can best identify where things break down.

If you want honest input, make it easy and safe for employees to share. Develop surveys that allow anonymous feedback, and conduct them regularly. Better yet, bring in a third-party partner to run a climate assessment so that anonymity is guaranteed. Employees are more likely to be candid with an external, trusted facilitator.

And make sure your surveys go beyond engagement scores. You also need insight into internal communication, inclusion, job satisfaction, and trust. That’s where the real story lives.

Lucky for you, that’s exactly what we measure. You’ll not only see what’s really happening in your culture, but you’ll also get a clear, actionable plan for what to do next.

 

You’re Not Too Small. You’re Too Important.

The HR.com and UKG report concludes that small and mid-sized organizations with strong, healthy cultures are more resilient, engaged, and profitable. They’re nearly twice as likely to say that positive culture drives employee experience and five times more likely to report camaraderie and friendship as core strengths.

So if you’re in HR or leadership and wondering whether now’s the time to invest in culture work, the answer is yes.

Culture isn’t something you wait to have. It’s something you build on purpose, every day. And in small teams, where every person is visible and every decision matters, it’s not just a good idea. It’s survival.

Whenever you’re ready, you know where to find us.

The post Even Small Teams Can’t Afford to Ignore Culture appeared first on Civility Partners.

Mansplaining, Womansplaining: Why People Tend to Over-Explain

We’ve all been there — sitting in a meeting where someone takes five minutes to explain what could’ve taken thirty seconds. Or maybe you’ve caught yourself doing it, adding just one more clarification, one more justification, one more “Does that make sense?”

Over-explaining at work isn’t just a “female thing,” nor is condescending explanation (often called mansplaining) solely a “male thing.” Both behaviors are symptoms of something deeper. Patterns of insecurity, imbalance, and power that live inside workplace cultures.

 

The Data Behind the Dynamics

Research consistently shows that people experience interruptions and condescension at work along gender lines. A 2024 Forbes report found that 56% of women have experienced mansplaining at work, often leaving them feeling undervalued and less likely to speak up. Other studies from Cambridge University and Michigan State University have shown that this dynamic decreases confidence and increases burnout.

Everyone can fall into these patterns. Men over-explain when they feel the need to assert authority. Women over-explain when they fear being misunderstood or dismissed. Nonbinary and marginalized employees may over-explain as a strategy for being taken seriously in spaces that question their legitimacy.

Over-explaining, then, isn’t about gender. It’s about power and psychological safety. It’s what happens when people don’t feel they are heard and trusted.

 

Why We Over-Explain

At its root, over-explaining is an anxiety response. When people don’t feel safe emotionally, socially, or professionally, they compensate. They explain too much to cover every angle, to prove competence, and to reduce the chance of being criticized. It’s the verbal equivalent of walking on eggshells.

Some of it stems from self-doubt and low self-esteem. Some of it comes from organizational cultures that reward perfectionism, penalize mistakes, or quietly reinforce hierarchy. In workplaces where interrupting is normalized or where some voices carry more weight than others, over-explaining becomes a survival mechanism.

Think of the engineer who over-justifies her design decision in a meeting because she’s used to being challenged. Or the new manager who explains every action to prove he deserves the role. Or the quiet team member who rehearses every word to avoid being misunderstood.

When everyone is trying either to prove or protect themselves, communication stops being collaborative and starts being performative.

 

The Cost to Organizations

Over-explaining may seem harmless and annoying, but it’s expensive not just in meeting time but also in morale. It signals a culture where people feel they must justify their value, where every contribution must be defended rather than simply heard.

Employees in these environments experience higher cognitive load, lower confidence, and more burnout. Innovation slows because people spend more energy preparing to speak than on what they have to say. And the loudest voices, not necessarily the best ideas, dominate the conversation.

 

Coaching Repeat Offenders

Similar to leaders who engage in bullying behavior due to lack of self-confidence and the need to show their value, “splainers” are exerting their authority in unhealthy ways. These are often people who don’t recognize the impact of their behavior. They believe they’re being helpful, thorough, or simply passionate about their expertise. 

That’s where coaching becomes critical. Repeat offenders rarely change through feedback alone, because the behavior is rooted in mindset and habit. Coaching helps uncover what’s driving the over-explaining. Once awareness is built, coaching them replaces over-explaining with more productive communication habits: curiosity, active listening, and brevity with impact.

Our coaching program is designed exactly for these moments. We work one-on-one with employees and leaders who unintentionally create tension or disengagement through their communication style. Through guided reflection, practical tools, and accountability, we help them recognize their triggers, adjust their tone, and rebuild trust with their teams.

When people understand how their behavior lands, they can shift from defending their value to demonstrating it through respect, clarity, and collaboration.

 

Building a Culture Where People Don’t Need to Over-Explain

The solution isn’t to tell people to “just be confident.” It’s to build environments where they can be confident, where listening is active, respect is mutual, and mistakes aren’t punished but learned from.

 

To start, you need to understand what’s really happening in your culture.

Assessing your workplace climate is the first step. Our workforce survey helps uncover the root causes of communication breakdowns, trust issues, employee engagement, job satisfaction, and psychological safety gaps, giving you data you can act on.

 

Once you know what’s wrong, you can intervene intentionally.

That means going beyond communication tips and focusing on training programs that reshape habits and norms — such as respectful communication training, psychological safety workshops, and manager coaching on how to model curiosity and empathy instead of authority and control.

We’ve also developed a simple guide to measuring and creating psychological safety within your team. Practical tools you can use right away to spark meaningful change. You can download the guide here.

Over-explaining is the cultural smoke that signals a deeper fire. Healthy workplaces don’t require anyone to take up more space than they need or to shrink to make others comfortable. They create space that belongs to everyone, equally. 

Ready to uncover what’s beneath your team’s communication habits and strengthen psychological safety? Let’s connect and make it happen.

The post Mansplaining, Womansplaining: Why People Tend to Over-Explain appeared first on Civility Partners.

4 Types of Visionary/Integrator Partnerships

[Caution: Random string of thought ahead. It leads to some good stuff though. Promise!]

As a parent, I think a lot about the different roles I play in my kids’ lives. Sometimes I’m their biggest cheerleader, shouting “Yes!” from the rooftops. Other times I offer firm caution, or flat-out say “no.” And then there are moments when I say, “I don’t agree with your choice, but I’ll support it—because I believe in you.”

You might laugh, but recently I realized my COO, Rebecca Del Secco, plays all those same roles for me.

She cheers me on. She gives me the hard truth when I need it. She’s told me “no” more than once. And occasionally, she’ll say, “I don’t agree, but I’ll back your decision—because we’re a team and I believe in you.”

Over the years, people have teased us about our unique dynamic. Then we read Gino Wickman’s, Traction and Rocket Fuel—turns out, it’s not odd at all. It’s a classic Visionary/Integrator relationship. (If I’m being honest, I may have squealed, “Rebecca! Our relationship has a name!”) 

As I thought about all the ways Rebecca’s various types of support and guidance have helped Civility Partners become a successful and profitable business, I of course started thinking about our clients and what makes some more successful than others in turning around culture.

The ones who achieve the biggest cultural turnarounds all have a “Rebecca.” A trusted advisor—sometimes a COO, sometimes someone else—who plays those same roles: cheerleader, truth-teller, accountability partner, and steady supporter.

The clients with less success had something else. Some leaders thought they knew everything and didn’t seek advice. Some were steamrolled by overly dominant advisors. Others had advisors too timid to offer meaningful input. These clients struggled to get anywhere with cultural change.

Below is a list of the most common visionary/integrator partnerships we’ve seen in action with our almost 300 clients, and how the pairing impacted the speed and success of transforming culture. I’ve ranked them from most effective to least effective pair.

 

1. Courageous Leader & Solid Advisor 

We see the quickest and most sustainable turnaround time in toxic culture when this pair is in play.

The courageous leader owns their role in the problems that arose and caused them to reach out to us, acknowledges that they could be better at leading and relationship building, seeks out an expert in their organization to guide them, takes our advice, and pushes back on our advice too. This partnership with us – of problem solving and action planning – allows them to make big leaps forward in sustainable change we can see evidence of in surveys and anecdotes years after working with them.The solid advisor is there to be a sounding board to the leader, give advice, share their experience and expertise, push back, and champion change. Part of the courageous leader’s success is the solid advisor right there next to them.

This dynamic duo was highlighted in a client we took on last year, where 200 employees went on strike and upon returning to work found themselves in an even more broken culture. Those who’d remained at work were upset about the way the strikers behaved on the picket line, not to mention the crazy amount of work and effort they had to put in while the strikers were out. The CEO had a vision for a high-performing team, and although her advisor wasn’t necessarily an integrator due to the advisor’s own role in the organization, the two of them worked together to take in what their Civility Partners team had to say, pushed back thoughtfully, and took ownership of how they’d gotten here and leading the team forward. Less than a year later, this client is riding high with a clear plan to improve culture, rebuild trust, and reach that high performance they seek. 

2. Hopeful Leader & Aggressive or Manipulative Advisor 

We see some change with this pair, but it doesn’t happen quickly and it’s not necessarily sustainable unless the partnership can evolve.

The hopeful leader knows change is needed and wants to make it. They invest in consultants, initiatives, and training programs to make change happen. With a not so enthusiastic advisor next to them, however, it falls flat. We’ve seen hopeful leaders engage in coaching to help them work through messaging with their advisor, attempt to go around them, or try to put their foot down to move things forward.Unfortunately the aggressive or manipulative advisor makes the endeavor to a better culture difficult with consistent questioning of the leader, casting major doubt that positive culture change is necessary, and encouraging a tightening of the purse strings instead of investing in a better culture. Why keep this person around, then? Well, the hopeful leader finds the advisor useful for other goals, is too afraid to stand up to them, or continues to hope they’ll come around eventually.

We saw this pair in action earlier this year. The CEO had two advisors/integrators, and together the three of them made up the leadership team. One advisor was encouraging culture change, which the CEO desperately wanted to make. The other encouraged tightening of the purse strings and continued to point out that the organization consistently met its goals, so why bother? The CEO hired us to coach him to address the naysayer and get buy-in, but after one session the CEO decided he was too nervous about “poking the bear.” (I know… just when you thought you heard it all.) And so, with only two out of the three of the leaders on board to make change we can only assume their efforts are stifled and offer minimal impact. 

3. Lost Leader & Scared Advisor 

We don’t see much change when this pair is on deck, and the change we do see is minimal. (I’m pretty sure we have at least one client still considering and discussing the tips we gave them 7 years ago.)

The lost leader is shocked that something bad bubbled up and can’t wrap their head around the fact that it’s been festering for several years. Clearly they weren’t really leading as much as they were setting organizational goals and then leaving everyone else to reach them with any focus on culture. Often these leaders unintentionally make the environment worse, because unlike the courageous leader, they aren’t willing to take accountability for “how things got this bad”. This of course harms trust even more and the road to recovery is slow until that leader exits.The scared advisor isn’t helpful either, as they’re always in agreement with the lost leader, and their advice and guidance amounts to listing all the reasons something should not be done because the status quo is safest. Action items to move things forward are performative and fairly useless.

That client from 7 years ago suffered from this kind of leadership. The CEO spent most of his time in the ivory tower. While his chief of staff was great at wrangling him into necessary conversations, and had really great ideas herself, she wasn’t confident enough to push her ideas through. The CEO listened to her, and if she had been more assertive with him they could’ve made some great changes. Instead, she often shared an idea and then talked herself and the CEO out of it.

4. Ego-Driven Leader & Non-Advisor 

We don’t see much change here either. A leader who thinks they know everything – and either ignores their advisor or chooses not to have one – is leading an organization that’s imploding right under their nose. 

Ego-driven leaders don’t trust data from workforce surveys, exit interviews, or anecdotes from HR. They like to think they’re a great leader, and therefore the culture must also be great and certainly doesn’t need any change.In this case, the non-advisor may exist but is ignored or agrees with the CEO so often they may as well be the same person. Or, no one fills that role at all.

One of our clients agreed with the CEO so often because she’d literally grown up in that particular workplace, so there was no getting through to either one of them. They were basically the same person – defensive when their leadership was challenged, unwilling to own up to their role in the damaging culture, and focused on a results-at-all-costs rewards system. Another client had a great advisor who knew exactly what should happen, and we were so happy to help that organization start to make some real change. Unfortunately for their workforce, the CEO left the new, ego-driven CEO turned that advisor into a non-advisor when he told her to cease all work on culture. She pushed where she could, but found her pleas to keep it going were ignored.

 

Bringing It All Together

At the end of the day, culture transformation is never a solo act. It thrives at the intersection of three powerful synergies:

Organizational behavior – the systems, policies, and structures that either reinforce or erode your values.Leadership behavior – the tone set at the top, including the courage to own missteps and model the culture you want to see.Individual behavior – the choices every team member makes daily, from speaking up to supporting one another.

Download this assessment to discover how well your organization’s synergies align.

When these three forces align, real culture change becomes not only possible but sustainable. We’ve seen organizations go from toxic to thriving when leaders embrace the courage to look inward, advisors provide the steady guidance to navigate the messy middle, and individuals are equipped and inspired to live the culture every day with organizational resources. 

So if you’re a leader, ask yourself: Who is my “Rebecca”? Who tells me the truth even when it stings, pushes me to stay courageous, and celebrates progress along the way? And if you are an advisor, remember that your voice has the power to either accelerate change or keep an organization stuck in neutral, or worse.

Speaking of which—if you want more insights from a truly solid advisor, follow Rebecca Del Secco on LinkedIn. Her perspective is the perfect complement to the work we do in helping organizations build cultures where people can thrive.

The post 4 Types of Visionary/Integrator Partnerships appeared first on Civility Partners.

What the Heck is a Super-Facilitator? And Why Your Team Needs One

Harvard Business Review recently published an article called . It’s a good read for anyone interested in building strong, inclusive, high-performing teams.

I’d never heard this phrase before… have you?

Nonetheless, the article highlights that the best teams aren’t led by superstars or lone geniuses—they’re led by people who know how to bring out the best in others. They’re called super-facilitators, and your team needs at least one.

Lucky for you, super-facilitation isn’t a magical personality trait. It’s a skill set that can be taught, practiced, and modeled at every level of an organization.

It’s October – National Bullying Prevention Awareness Month – so for fun let’s dig into the difference between a leader who bullies and a super-facilitator, and why this matters for your culture, your people, and your bottom line.

 

Bullying Behavior Fixates on Competence; Super-Facilitators Unlock Collective Intelligence

People who engage in bullying behavior are most often driven by a need to prove their competence. Whether it’s belittling others, hoarding information, or taking credit for team wins, the behavior comes from insecurity masked as dominance. They need to feel valued, and leaving others feeling devalued is one way to achieve that goal. 

What those leaders are missing is that great teams aren’t built on individual genius or a single competent leader. They thrive on collective intelligence: a team’s ability to think, solve problems, and innovate together. And leading with fear inhibits all of that – people can’t think openly about solving problems because they’re too busy consciously and unconsciously managing their survival instincts. 

Collective intelligence happens when super-facilitators know how to:

Make space for everyone’s inputElevate quieter voicesReduce power playsFocus on how the group works—not just what it producesBring out the best in peopleLean on each individual’s strengths

In other words, good things happen when someone is facilitating the team’s success, not dominating the team’s success.

 

Diversity Fuels Collective Intelligence

Collective intelligence is made even better when the team is diverse. A group of people who think differently, come from different backgrounds, and see the world in different ways raise the bar as they look at problems from different perspectives. That’s key to reaching the best possible outcome. 

But this only works if people feel safe enough to share their perspectives, knowledge and experiences. If your team dynamics are driven by fear, hierarchy, or politics, you’ll never get the full range of ideas available in the group.

With a super-facilitator on the team, bridges can be built between differences and psychological safety is more likely to flourish. They invite tension that leads to growth, not division. And they know how to hold space for the messiness of diverse thinking without shutting it down. 

 

Super-Facilitator vs. Leaders Displaying Toxic Behaviors

So think about it: the difference between a super-facilitator and a leader displaying toxic behaviors is night and day.

 

Super-Facilitator Playbook

Super-facilitators are:

Intentional about creating space for others—they invite voices into the conversation, ask open-ended questions, and listen with the goal of truly understanding.Focused on the team’s success, not their own image, and so they share credit and lean into diverse perspectives.Build psychological safety by ensuring every person knows their input matters.Clear that if they desire to be seen as a leader valued by others, they must value others first.

As a result, the team becomes innovative, resilient, and collaborative, producing outcomes no single “star” could achieve on their own.

 

When Leadership Behaviors Turn Toxic

Leaders can sometimes slip into behaviors that harm rather than help — often without realizing it. These behaviors might look like:

Dominate conversations, shut down dialogue that goes against their own point of view, and surround themselves with “yes” people who won’t challenge them.Focus on the team’s success, but through a lens that has them believing the leader is supposed to be the most successful out of the team members.Use fear, intimidation, and control as their tools, and therefore hoard credit, pass blame, and silence dissent.Believe that to be seen as a valuable leader, they must be the ultimate mascot of the team’s success. 

It’s the difference between a team that grows stronger together and one that slowly crumbles under the weight of a single ego.

 

What To Do With This Information About Super-Facilitators

Consider who is already acting as a super-facilitator in your team or within your organization, and what they need to hone in on that skill. Do they know how to shut down toxic behavior from others before it escalates? Do they know they’d be supported in doing so?

Then consider who could grow into super-facilitatorship (we made that word up) and what they need to get there. How can you help them understand that this is a goal they can grow into? What training or mentoring do they need? What would be the benefits for them to make this leap?

Lastly, who should be a super-facilitator but is functioning in the negative? Who are the antithesises (made that one up too) of super-facilitatorship, and what can you offer them to grow out of that toxic behavior and into the amazing leaders you need them to be? Feel free to use our Abrasive Leader Assessment Tool as you answer. It will help you put words to the behavior you experience or hear about from others.

These questions are worth answering. While you do so, keep in mind that super-facilitators can be individual contributors, managers, and leaders.

 

Apparently Supermanagers Are Also Needed

Then there’s this article – The Rise of the Supermanager. In short, Josh Bersin posits that with the rise of AI, managers have more opportunities to think strategically and optimize work. They won’t need to supervise so much as they’ll need to, and have more time to, coach and mentor. He says that, “Performance management and supervision become the ‘table stakes’ of management, and it’s the re-engineering, experimentation, and growth that differentiate the best.” Supermanagers experiment, embrace new ideas, are open to and sharing out others’ ideas, and in terms of AI, they find new ways to use it without a directive from the top.

 

Super-Facilitation and Supermanagement: Are They Really New Concepts?

Both of the articles we’ve mentioned are fascinating – but as we wrote this blog we started to wonder how new these concepts really are. Collaboration, psychological safety, and lifting people up have all been on the list of good team membership and good management for a long time.

Perhaps these new phrases just serve the purpose of differentiating between the “regular” managers we’ve all experienced, and the really great managers we’ve hopefully all had at least once in our careers?

Given our recent blog post about Conscious Unbossing, which highlights that Gen Z doesn’t want to manage given all of the underpay and overwork they’ve witnessed in their own managers, it seems unlikely that tacking the word “super” onto their job is going to make it more appealing.

 

What This Means for Your Organization

Whether you call them super-facilitators and supermanagers or not, both of these articles simply highlight that despite all of the advancement in AI and technology in general, people skills are still super important.

So if you need our super-facilitators to facilitate your training programs to build up your super-facilitators and supermanagers, contact us for a strategy session. Of course we offer all sorts of programs to elevate your managers’ people management skills. 

The post What the Heck is a Super-Facilitator? And Why Your Team Needs One appeared first on Civility Partners.

FREE Webinar: Creating Inclusive Workplaces

What was once applauded as both smart business and the right thing to do has suddenly become controversial.

Yep, I’m talking about DEI. It’s disheartening to see that what was once celebrated is now being treated as expendable.

But when inclusion takes a back seat, so do innovation, engagement, and retention. Because whether you call it DEI or not, your workforce needs well-being and psychological safety. People need to know their ideas won’t be shot down, their identities won’t be questioned, and that their contributions actually matter.

The data is clear. A study by Forbes revealed that 56% of companies with more than $10 billion in revenue say their diverse workforce significantly drives innovation. When inclusion is deprioritized, business suffers.

What I’m saying is that even when DEI is under fire, there are credible, resilient steps you can take to make inclusion part of your culture’s DNA – so you don’t lose out on the innovation and awesomeness your workforce can produce when they feel safe to be themselves.

That’s why we’re hosting the webinar, Creating Inclusive Workplaces When DEI Efforts Are Under Fire, on October 1st at 10am PT. This webinar is worth 1 SHRM credit.

If you’ve joined one of our webinars before, you know that you’ll leave with practical, actionable strategies you can apply immediately to create a workplace where employees feel heard, valued, and empowered.

This session will be highly interactive (would we do it any other way?!). I’ll be answering your questions live, inviting your input and experiences, and guiding you through strategies to protect and strengthen your inclusion efforts. 

We also offer a free bonus resource and giveaways for everyone who attends live!

Now more than ever, leaders must double down on authenticity, resilience, and transparency. Building inclusive workplaces in challenging times doesn’t just help you weather the storm. It makes your organization stronger, more innovative, and more competitive.

Register now.

We can’t wait to see you there.

The post FREE Webinar: Creating Inclusive Workplaces appeared first on Civility Partners.

Navigating the Era of “Quiet DEI”

Companies across industries are changing how they talk about Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI). Not too long ago, DEI was splashed across annual reports, websites, and conference stages. Now? The phrase itself has become a political lightning rod, and many organizations are now rebranding under new labels.

Instead of DEI, you’ll see “Inclusive Workplaces,” “Employee Experience,” “Wellbeing,” or “Belonging.”

Why the shift? Because DEI has become a political football. Politicians, shareholders, employees, and the media are all weighing in, questioning its value and demanding proof of Return of Investment (ROI). Leaders are stuck in the middle – trying to keep up the work employees expect while dodging the backlash that can damage reputation and trust.

The data reflects this shift. In 2024, S&P 500 companies reduced their mentions of DEI in SEC filings. The average number of mentions dropped from 12.5 to just 4. 

It’s the start of the “Quiet DEI” era. The work continues, but the name changes.

 

Why This Matters for HR and Leaders

For HR and leadership, this shift makes things more complicated than they already were.

You’re balancing very different pressures.

Take Gen Z, for example. By 2030 (that’s only five years from now, folks) they’ll make up nearly a third of the workforce. They’re the most likely to call out workplace toxicity and mental health challenges – and 84% say DEI helps them feel like they can be their authentic selves at work. 

 

What Rebranding DEI Signals for Your Company

At the end of the day, it’s all about intention.

If you’re rebranding to protect and strengthen your inclusion efforts? Smart move.

If you’re using it as a cover to quietly step back from DEI? People will notice, and they won’t forget.

Ultimately, the language you choose must be backed by actions that prove the work is still alive, relevant, and tied to business outcomes.

 

Practical Strategies for Leaders in the “Quiet DEI” Era

No matter what, carrying the work forward is what really counts. Here are five ways to do that:

 

1. Lead with Authenticity

Employees are quick to recognize when inclusion efforts are performative, and nothing undermines trust faster than initiatives that appear to be driven by optics rather than true commitment. Authenticity means that your actions, policies, and investments in people consistently align with the values you communicate. If you’ve been genuine, a terminology shift won’t derail progress. Make it clear that while the name may change, the commitment hasn’t.

 

2. Double Down on Belonging

For younger generations, belonging isn’t optional or a nice-to-have. To meet this demand, belonging must be woven into the everyday fabric of leadership and operations. This means:

Training leaders to recognize and address behaviors that erode feeling includedEnsuring performance reviews reflect not only what people achieve but also how they contribute to a respectful and collaborative culture Designing recognition programs that highlight inclusive behavior as much as individual results.

 

3. Communicate Transparently

If you’re renaming or restructuring DEI, explain why you’re doing it. A sudden shift in terminology without context can spark suspicion and distrust in leadership. In contrast, clear and proactive communication demonstrates integrity and reassures employees that the work is continuing, even if the name has changed.

 

4. Measure What Matters

Track data on turnover, engagement, and overall employee sentiment across demographics. Share progress openly. Metrics are your proof point that the work is more than words. One way to do that is by conducting a workforce survey, which goes deeper than a traditional engagement survey. Our process is tailored to meet your specific needs and collect the data from your workforce. You’ll receive a hefty report laying out your strengths, opportunities for improvement, and recommendations. Check out our sample questions here. 

 

5. Keep Learning

This isn’t the time to slow down on education. Continued learning is one of the best ways to strengthen inclusion in the “Quiet DEI” era. Lucky for you, we’re hosting a free, 1-SHRM credit webinar titled “Creating Inclusive Workplaces When DEI Efforts Are Under Fire.”

Attendees will leave with practical, actionable strategies they can immediately apply to build a culture where employees feel heard, valued, and empowered. It takes place on October 1st at 10 a.m. PT. I encourage you to save your seat and join the conversation!

The post Navigating the Era of “Quiet DEI” appeared first on Civility Partners.

3 Cultural Faux Pas You Might Not Realize You’re Making

Cultural missteps happen to everyone, even the most seasoned leaders and global brands. 

Recently, American Eagle launched a campaign featuring actress Sydney Sweeney with the tagline “Sydney Sweeney Has Great Genes.” The pun on “jeans” was meant to be playful, but it quickly sparked backlash. Critics pointed out that pairing the phrase with Sweeney’s blonde, blue-eyed image promoted eugenics and took us back some steps on the more body-positive movements we’ve seen in ad campaigns these days.

Perhaps if they’d released several other versions of the same ad with a variety of other women, the campaign wouldn’t have gone sour. They could have highlighted that lots of people who look nothing like Sweeney also have “good genes.” Perhaps there wasn’t any, or enough, diversity in the campaign’s team, so no one thought about the damage the ad could potentially have on the American Eagle brand or Sweeney’s reputation.

One might argue that saying Sweeney has “good genes” doesn’t mean other people don’t have them, and of course that wasn’t the intent of the ad. Annnddd also, this is a great example of just how unrelated intention and impact are. White supremacy wasn’t the intended message, but the harmful impact is massive.

As organizations expand across borders and teams become more diverse, the stakes for cultural competence have never been higher. According to LearnLight’s global research, 56% of professionals across multiple countries say they need to strengthen their cultural awareness to broaden their worldview and avoid costly misunderstandings. 

Most cultural faux pas aren’t intentional. But even small slip-ups can quietly erode trust, weaken collaboration, and damage your credibility at work.

 

What Is a Cultural Faux Pas?

A cultural faux pas is an action, phrase, or behavior that unintentionally violates the social norms, etiquette, or expectations of a particular culture.

Usually, they’re a result of gaps in awareness. And while intention isn’t normally part of the problem, the impact can be disastrous for relationships.

Some missteps are visible and ceremonial, like giving a gift with the wrong hand according to the culture or wearing the wrong attire to a formal event. Others are subtle and invisible, like misinterpreting silence, standing too close, or being too touchy.

 

Cultural Faux Pas Examples and How to Avoid Them

Below are three subtle but surprisingly common cultural missteps that can undermine relationships without you realizing it, and how to avoid them.

 

Misjudging Humor

Humor is universal, but not uniformly received. Sarcasm, for example, is warmly embraced in the UK but often misinterpreted as hostility in Germany or Japan. Self-deprecating humor, common in the U.S., may cause confusion in hierarchical cultures where humility is expected by default.

Keep jokes light and inclusive, and avoid sarcasm until you know your audience appreciates it. When used well, humor builds bridges but when misjudged, it can shut them down. The goal isn’t to strip away personality—it’s to make sure your meaning lands with every listener.

 

Forgetting the “Unwritten Rules” of Time

Time may be universal, but how people relate to it is deeply cultural. In Germany, Switzerland, and Japan, punctuality is a sign of respect—being even five minutes late can signal disregard. In parts of Latin America, Africa, and the Middle East, time is more fluid, and starting a meeting 15 minutes late might be perfectly normal.

When in doubt, be punctual. It’s one of the simplest and most universally respected ways to show that you value the people in, and the purpose of, the meeting.

 

Overlooking Hierarchical Norms

In the U.S., calling your boss by their first name might be a sign of openness. But in countries like South Korea and the Philippines, titles and honorifics are essential markers of respect. Addressing someone too casually can be seen as presumptuous, undermining trust before you’ve even begun working together.

Start formal, then adapt. Use titles and last names until the other person invites you to be more casual. For example, “Good morning, Ms. Jeong,” or “Hello, Dr. Rivera.” When in doubt, ask politely. “I want to make sure I address you correctly, how do you prefer to be addressed?” This sets the tone for mutual respect.

 

Why This Matters Now More Than Ever

Cultural faux pas aren’t just awkward—they can quietly erode trust, hinder collaboration, and stall careers. But with cultural competence, you can transform these potential landmines into moments of connection and respect. 

These are just three examples, but there are many more subtle ways culture plays out at work. Tools like our conversation cards can help employees build awareness, practice allyship, and open the door to meaningful team discussions about inclusion and intervention. 

Download them and bring them to a meeting or a lunch n’ learn. Discussion about how to respond as individuals to various scenarios facilitates courage to do so when the time actually comes. Running the exercise sends the message that you as an employer encourage allyship and upstandership. 

In today’s workplaces where many organizations are scaling back DEI efforts, inclusivity cannot be an afterthought.

That’s why I invite you to join our free, 1-SHRM credit webinar, Creating Inclusive Workplaces When DEI Efforts Are Under Fire, on October 1 at 10am PT. We’ll explore the real purpose and transformative power of DEI — and share actionable steps leaders can take to protect both inclusivity and well-being in the workplace, even if you can’t say words like “diversity” in your organization due to recent presidential executive orders.

If you’re serious about building a positive, culturally intelligent workplace that thrives in a changing business climate, you can’t afford to miss this conversation. Reserve your spot here!

The post 3 Cultural Faux Pas You Might Not Realize You’re Making appeared first on Civility Partners.

HR, Are You Part of the Incivility Problem?

You already know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of workplace “drama.” Complaints about rudeness, tension between team members, and employees quietly disengaging are all part of the daily grind.

You know it’s expensive. You know it’s draining for you to deal with it. 

What you may not know is just how much it’s happening. 

According to SHRM’s Civility Index, millions of acts of incivility occur every single day in the U.S., with nearly 40% of them happening at work. These small moments of rudeness cost American businesses an estimated $2 billion a day in lost productivity. If you want to know what portion of the $2 billion dollars your company is spending, check out our culture calculator and find out.

And the consequences are massive. Employees who experience ongoing incivility are more likely to:

Mentally check out during the workdayAvoid certain people or meetings (even if it impacts performance)Reduce their effort or commitment to the company

 

Could You Be Part of the Problem?

It’s a tough question, but one worth asking. Particularly because the peer-reviewed academic research on this question provides an unequivocal YES.

We wrote a blog about this just before my book, Navigating a Toxic Workplace for Dummies, was released. You can read the blog here.

(You may have also seen my ploy to get Johnny C. Taylor, CEO of SHRM, to pay attention to this fact as he continues to tell HR that civility is one HR’s top priorities right now. If you haven’t, hopefully you’ll hop in there to support me in this endeavor.)

Here are common ways HR becomes part of the problem without realizing it:

 

Normalizing Uncivil Behaviors

Eye rolls, sarcastic remarks, or consistent interruptions are brushed off as personality quirks or something you don’t have time to address given bigger pressures like that investigation you’re doing or payroll flub that’s got to be fixed yesterday. The risk of letting these micro-behaviors go, however, is that over time they become normalized. The more normal they are, the more tolerance people have for them, and the worse they become. And you’re sending the message that respect is optional.

 

Being Reactive Instead of Proactive

HR and their leadership team often wait for a formal complaint to take action, but by the time someone lodges their complaint the damage is already done. Teams may have been silently suffering for weeks or months, and disengagement has had time to take root.

We say that with the caveat that we know it’s not always HR’s fault. We’ve talked to thousands of HR professionals over the years and heard a common narrative from them – they’ve been trying to address the problem before it got out of hand, but they couldn’t get permission or resources to do so. (My book discusses this in detail.)

 

Inconsistent Accountability

High performers or long‑tenured employees sometimes get a pass for toxic behavior because they deliver results. The rest of the team sees that bad behavior is tolerated if someone is valuable on paper—eroding trust across the organization.

Again, we understand it’s not always HR that’s letting this behavior slip. In fact, one HR professional we spoke to was seeking a coach for a toxic leader after the leader received his seventh formal complaint about a toxic work environment. (Yes you read that correctly. It took seven formal complaints for the leader to give HR permission to solve it.)

 

HR as the Solution

HR can be the hero here. You have the power to flip the script and position yourself as the driving force behind a more civil, respectful workplace.

 

Get the Data

Start by assessing the true health of your culture. Our climate assessments/workforce survey can reveal hotspots before they explode into formal complaints. It doesn’t just scratch the surface; it digs deep, tailored to your organization, giving you actionable insights into your culture.

You can learn where the toxic hot spots are, which departments are psychologically safe and which are not, what managers or leaders are part of the problem and which are trying to make it better… and so much more.

 

Equip Your Leaders

Train managers to spot and address microaggressions and subtle rudeness. Tell them it’s part of their expectations, and that positive departmental survey scores are a must. A manager’s number one job is to manage people first, and yet we all know people leave managers – not jobs.

Our Manager Evolution Lab is designed to change that. This program begins and ends with a self-assessment and a team survey, allowing participants to compare their own perceptions of their leadership skills with how their team experiences them. Over six facilitated sessions, each paired with experiential, real-world assignments. Managers apply what they learn in real time. Download this flyer to learn more. 

 

Refresh Your Policies

Clearly define uncivil behaviors even if they seem “small.” Then, outline how these behaviors will be addressed. Will there be coaching? A restorative conversation? Progressive accountability?

When expectations are clearly stated and consequences are transparent, it’s easier for everyone, employees and leaders alike, to feel confident taking action. 

Make it clear to your workforce that respect will bring them rewards, and lack of respect will result in empathy and coaching, but it certainly will not be tolerated.

 

Make Civility Visible

Culture change doesn’t stick unless it’s visible. If you want employees to embrace civility, they need to see that it’s recognized, valued, and rewarded. Make positive behavior part of your daily narrative. Teach your workforce to be civil, communicate with empathy, and hold each other accountable to good behavior.

By taking a proactive stance, HR not only reduces the daily drain of incivility but also strengthens engagement, retention, and overall business performance.

The question is: Will you let incivility keep eroding your culture or will you be the force that turns pain into progress?

The post HR, Are You Part of the Incivility Problem? appeared first on Civility Partners.