M.J. Pullen's Blog, page 8

Distracted Writer: “Write Every Day or Quit” Controversy

About a week ago, some dude named Stephen Hunter (okay, he’s actually a Pulitzer-prize winning critic and multi-published thriller author) started an Internet kerfuffle among writers by publishing an article in The Daily Beast called, “If You Want to Write a Book, Write Every Day or Quit Now.”

I’ve written on my mixed feelings about daily writing before. And, I love a good kerfuffle as much as the next girl, so you know I had to check it out.

::Gets Popcorn::

As for the article: the title is incendiary, the prose hyperbolic, the concept (intentionally, by my read) overly simplistic — and truthfully, told from a place of privilege. And of course the Interweb went mad, with scores of writers coming out to angrily refute the idea that you must write every day (or compete with other writers, or abandon research) to be successful. While everyone else was hating on Kathy Griffin, writers were hating on Stephen Hunter.

If you really want to go down the rabbit hole, I’ve embedded The Daily Beast’s original tweet with the thread of comments. Should you get really bored, simply search on “if you want to write a book,” on Twitter, and you’ll be rewarded with some funny memes of authors riffing on the controversy.

If you want to write a book, write every day or quit now https://t.co/jW4So0zm3F pic.twitter.com/XR3N5lwka0

— The Daily Beast (@thedailybeast) May 27, 2017

These writers absolutely have a point. Or two. I get that Hunter’s ultra-competitive attitude about “beating” and “hating” other writers is probably more about his mindset for staying disciplined (and sensationalizing the issue for the article), than it is his actual relationship with other authors. Hopefully. That said, it comes off sounding petty and mean-spirited, and reinforces the old-school publishing model of there being room at the top for only a select few. The mega-bestseller “top” may be small, but the middle is growing like crazy and there is plenty of room for dedicated, high-quality writers of all shapes, sizes, colors and writing styles to find both audience and income. There’s no reason for us to view one another as enemies.

Second point: some people really can’t write every day. The ability to create the habits Hunter describes — i.e., going to your keyboard daily as though you are brushing your teeth, without expending too much emotional energy — is a luxury many early writers don’t have. I can’t tell you how many “successful” writers I know – multi-published, highly acclaimed, well-reviewed, etc. – still depend on a day job or a breadwinning spouse (or both) to support their families. I include myself in this number. If you’re also a parent, you know that no two days are alike with a kids in the house, so putting anything on autopilot is nearly impossible. Sometimes just brushing your teeth and putting on clean clothes feels like a victory. And, as a few of the comments pointed out, writers with disabilities and mental health issues have other barriers to daily writing, which go far beyond Hunter’s glib commentary about dirty socks on the stairs.

Does this mean those of us with children, disabilities or other commitments should follow his advice and throw in the towel? I hope not, because that would deplete the world of some of its best stories and richest voices.

Most people who want to write a book have to put in the work when they can, where they can. Over at The Draft House (an accountability program I co-run for writers who do want to up their game and develop more consistent writing habits), we’ve started a hashtag, #100WordsfromHere. It celebrates the idea of  getting in a few words wherever you can sneak them in. I’ve talked to professional and semi-pro writers who work at their kids’ soccer games, late at night after their families are in bed, on train rides home from their day jobs. I have written (mostly on my phone) in the grocery line, on the MARTA platform, on my lunch break at my day job, in the park while my kids played nearby. I have written at 4:30 a.m. before getting everyone up for school and work; and I have missed those times — “taken a day off,” Hunter would say — when a child was sick or something was going on the night before. Sleep can only be put off for so long.

To be fair, this is what’s problematic about seasoned, successful writers (who started out before the eBook paradigm shift), giving advice to writers trying to gain traction in a new world with new rules. Since Hunter started his writing career in 1971 as a journalist at the Baltimore Sun, I’m going to presume he has been able to devote most of his professional life to writing, something few aspiring writers can claim today. Which isn’t to say he hasn’t earned his chops: journalism is hard, often thankless work, and he started on that path after serving in the military. He appears to have earned many accolades and worked hard for what he’s achieved. The point of his article about slogging away, day in and day out, to gain success is well taken.

That said, the world of writing and publishing has changed (a bit) since Hunter wrote his first novel in 1993. The rules are different. The players are different. The barriers to entry are fewer (which is excellent); but standing out to readers is harder than ever, and publishers don’t support debut or mid-list authors the way they did even a decade ago. You can be semi-successful, highly acclaimed and bust your ass (writing and marketing) for years, and still have to work a non-writing day job. The path Stephen Hunter took to get where he is largely doesn’t exist anymore.

Hunter is giving us his perspective on what works for him, almost 30 years into an established career as a novelist. He’s earned his arrogance, I’ll give him that, but that doesn’t mean his advice is any more useful or true than, say… mine.

MJ’s Summertime Hacks

5 Things Making my Summer Manageable

School has been out for almost a week here in Georgia. I know my friends in the Northeast are thinking, “What? Already?” But we go back in early August, or in some cases late July (!?!?!), so we’re out before Memorial Day. I’m sure there’s a reason.

Anyhoo, now that Fozzie (5) and Skywalker (almost 8) are home with me full-time for part of the summer — they’re doing a few weeks of day camp as well — I’m back to writing at 5:00 a.m. and using my phone to make notes at the pool or the playground. Keeping two very active boys busy without letting them use electronics for 36 hours a day is a challenge, especially for a disorganized mom, especially when those little screens make them so… pleasantly… quiet… *sigh*

So here’s how I’m coping. Maybe some of this will make your summer manageable too. Or not…

I have accumulated 2 or 3 cheap makeup bags, one of which I think is actually a sock bag from IKEA. In each one I put sunscreen, bug spray, bandaids, a pen and tiny pad, and one of the kids’ card games. I am constantly switching bags in the summer – from giant mom-purse to gym bag to backpack to the huge thing we take to the pool. Having the little bags with the essentials around makes it more likely I will be able to find what I need BEFORE the kids figure out how to back the van out of the driveway themselves.
I have totally lowered my expectations for the kids’ eating habits. I still try to shove healthy options (veggies, apples, fruit salad, smoothies) down their throats whenever I can. But honestly, when they ask for the 6,000th time what’s for lunch (at 9:00 a.m.) and they really want that pack of cookies, I just shrug and say “sure.”

It’s summer!
Years ago, I bought some transparent index card pockets with adhesive backing (aka, Self-Adhesive Poly Pockets[image error]) to use for plotting my stories. They are amazing, and I recommend them for anyone with an unhealthy office supply addiction like mine.
This is as close to Pinterest-Momming as I get. Try not to judge my horrible illustrations. I’m a WRITER.

Last week, I made a little “Today’s Activities” poster for the kids with four pockets, and pre-filled a bunch of index cards with stuff I knew we’d be doing (and stuff I want them to do, like cleaning the playroom, reading, math, errands etc.)

I did this to prepare their little brains — and mine — for the fact that we’re not going to be TOTAL hedonists every day, and to head off the whining when I drag them to the grocery store or tell them to turn off the TV and read, dammit. For heaven’s sake, your mom is an AUTHOR. Read something!

Ahem. The little cards have worked way better than I anticipated. The kids love them. To the point where they get kind of pissy if I forget to change them out at night. So there’s that.
I can’t say enough about cheap kids’ card games. There’s a lot of waiting around in summertime – sudden rainstorms, weird little pockets of time between activities. And the Law of Restaurant Exhaustion, which states that the more tired and fidgety your children are when you arrive at a restaurant, the longer it will take to get your food. Our worn pack of UNO has kept us from being thrown out of many fine establishments.
And finally, a very important PSA: those giant, fist-sized marshmallows at the grocery store SEEM like they would make amazing S’Mores, but they don’t. Too big, not melty enough. Throws off the whole sugar-to-fire ratio. Save yourself $1.99 and many campfire tears; stick with the old-school, standard size marshmallows. But yes, yes, yes, to subbing out the standard Hershey bar with a Reese’s peanut butter cup.

A little hedonistic, but hey, it’s summer!

BEACH READ GIVEAWAY: FIRST 2 WINNERS
Julie J. and Sandra R., you’re my winners!

You probably know by now that I am doing weekly giveaways all summer long – my books, other great romance/women’s fiction reads, swag, etc. If you’re not on my email list, sign up today to be entered every week.

Julie J. won the big kickoff prize: a signed copy of the entire Marriage Pact trilogy, and Sandra R. was selected for a couple of great books by Denise Grover Swank and Kianna Alexander. (Ladies, please check your email for a note from me and reply with your mailing address!)

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Summer Beach Read Giveaway #2

Helloooo, Summer!

You kids tame the Sea Dragon; Mommy’s just going to dash over to Ye Olde Tavern…

Here in Georgia, the kids are out of school and our family has hit the ground running with visits to the Georgia Renaissance Festival, SunTrust Park (the new home of the Atlanta Braves), and an Atlanta United soccer game. Only as I type this do I realize the grave mistake I’ve made leading the kids to believe the entire summer is going to be this much non-stop fun.

Pace yourself, Mama Bear.

As I continue to figure out how to manage my children’s expectations, I am also spending the summer giving away books and swag every week to members of my newsletter list.

 

Back to Your Love by Kianna Alexander and Only You by Denise Grover Swank

This week’s giveaway includes these two lovelies I snagged at #RT17. Two great contemporary romances: ONLY YOU by Denise Grover Swank and BACK TO YOUR LOVE by Kianna Alexander. Wouldn’t these be perfect to read with your toes in the sand? Every member of the newsletter list has an automatic entry into the drawing, and you can increase your odds by commenting here, or on the Facebook post.

I’ll draw for the winner later this evening (Tuesday, May 30); and we’ll have more fun stuff next week.

Toodles!

 

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My Jazzercise Addiction, in List Format

“Jazzerselfie”

It’s time for my bi-annual Jazzercise blog! I took a break from my favorite exercise addiction for a couple of years due to a combination of injury and my work schedule, but I’ve been back since February and wondering (the way you always do when you’re on the exercise wagon) how I ever lived without it.

When I’m not exercising, I sometimes forget what a critical piece of self-care it is for me. When I’m working out, everything else feels better, works better, etc. I have more energy. I love softball, yoga, weight training, walking and running; but Jazzercise keeps me motivated and moving more consistently than anything else.

May is free class month at Jazzercise, which means first-timers can try it out for free. Since people periodically ask me about Jazzercise, I thought I’d share my ten favorite reasons to sweat it out on the dance floor:

Working out is way more fun with friends.
Where else can you do synchronized group karaoke at 8:30 a.m.?
There is always something on my mind I’d rather leave on the dance floor.
Because STRONG is my new SKINNY.
I have two young boys to keep up with; and in ten years I hope they’re still trying to keep up with me.
Because Pitbull goes with everything.
That moment when you sweat so much and breathe so hard that the sweat goes up your nose and you’re ultimately just okay with it because what the hell, just keep moving.
I work harder and push myself more in a judgment-free zone.
No matter what my mood, I simply can’t get through a dance class without smiling.
Because when I was a kid, I thought dancing was about talent, coordination, or a certain body size or type. Now I know it’s about having fun and not worrying about anyone’s opinion but my own.

Hope you find your way to a class this month!

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New Cover (and Paperback!): Every Other Saturday

I have [I can’t sing but imagine me singing this part anyway] NEWS!

You’ve been asking for a paperback version of Every Other Saturday – the modern romantic comedy out for Kindle since August 2015 – and I’m happy to say the time has finally come! Check out the refreshed cover, beautifully updated by Melody Simmons, and read this 5-star romance in paperback today.

This is the first time I’ve had a cover with people on it – which is sort of hallmark of romance novels. What do you think? Do you prefer people on your book covers, or symbols? Or do you go straight to the title or summary? I’d love to know what you think!

Comment with your thoughts below (and make sure you’re on my email list for eligibility), and I’ll randomly choose from among the comments on May 15. The winner will receive an autographed paperback for your collection.* Be sure to use the same email address to comment that you use on my mailing list so I can verify you.

Plus — don’t forget that everyone who adds an email to my list or updates her preferences by May 15 will also be in the running for an entire signed Marriage Pact Trilogy in hardback.

*U.S. and Canada only, please.

(This post contains affiliate links.)

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I Get Organized, You Get Prizes

Now that I am back to writing as a full time gig, I am busy getting super organized. Is the laundry folded and the house in order? Um, no. I said I was getting organized, not changing my personality entirely.

What I am doing is trying to make sure everyone who wants to hear from me (book updates, blog roundups, etc.) can hear from me, while valuing all my readers’ right to manage their own privacy and interest settings. I’m in the process of moving all my assorted contact lists to MailChimp, where users can subscribe and unsubscribe at their leisure, without having to send me that awkward, “it’s not you, it’s the quantity of stuff in my inbox” email.

As you can see by the form below, I’ve also added some interest settings to my newsletter signup form — so those of you who are writers as well as readers can get tailored/bonus content. You can also let me know if you are a blogger or reviewer who would like to receive Advanced Reader Copies of new books in exchange for honest reviews and feedback. And if all you ever want to know is when the next book is coming out, that’s an option, too.

To encourage all my readers to update their profiles, I’m giving away a set of signed hardback copies of The Marriage Pact trilogy to one randomly chosen subscriber* who adds or updates their information by May 15, 2017. If you’re already on my list, MailChimp will simply update the preferences for the email address you enter.

Thanks for your help, and good luck!

*U.S. and Canada only

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Daring or Delusion

Waterfall, Fort Mountain State Park, Georgia

Well, I did it. Two weeks ago I took myself out of the running for an amazing training and development job, before the third round of interviews. The job was everything my Day Job Self was looking for: exciting, challenging, learning-focused. I’d have been working in a company known for its amazing corporate culture on the team of an executive I really liked based on my initial conversations with her.

The main drawback of the opportunity would have been the commute, similar to my previous day job (and probably made worse by the recent collapse of the I-85 bridge). Spending 2.5-3 hours a day in the car was certainly one of the hardest aspects of my last job, one I didn’t miss at all when I was laid off in January.

But there’s more. When I left my job in January, the prospect of unemployment was scary — not just financially, but emotionally too. There’s a solid sense of usefulness when you get up every morning and go to a job; do specific things in an office where you get almost-immediate feedback from coworkers, supervisors, etc. It was a known quantity: I had meetings to attend, tasks to complete, coworkers to have lunch and play softball with. And in many ways, I loved it. When it was  suddenly gone, it felt a little like riding a merry-go-round that stopped, tossing me off as my own forward momentum carried me forward through the air. So I scrambled to apply for new positions, trying to get myself onto the next merry-go-round as quickly as possible.

But as the process and weeks went on, something else happened. Being home again allowed me to focus again on my writing; and to get some extra time with Skywalker and Fozzie, which was much needed for all of us. I realized that — even though I’d been getting up in the pre-dawn hours to write each day — I wasn’t making the progress with my craft that I wanted while so much of my energy and intellect were focused elsewhere. And there were other aspects of my writing career being neglected entirely: group memberships, marketing, keeping up with industry trends, even this little blog.

By the time things began to get serious with the potential next job, I found my excitement waning — even though it was a dream opportunity in many ways. I’d settled back into my writer-mom life and was really enjoying it. The polished skyscrapers of Buckhead and downtown Atlanta had receded into the distance like a postcard from somewhere I’d visited. I felt the pull to stay home again on many levels, including the reduced stress on our family and the joy of immersing myself in the writing life once more. So, when the next merry-go-round emailed me with a request for an in-depth interview, I politely and honestly declined. They were understanding and gracious, but it was still hard to hit “send.”

This is the first time in my adult life I’ve turned away an otherwise viable, exciting job opportunity – and I’ll be honest, it is scary as hell. I worry that I’ll fail. That my own skills and ambition won’t be enough to make a real career of writing. I worry that I’ll get bored, or that I won’t be able to master my ADHD enough to stay productive without someone looking over my shoulder. I worry that I’ll look back in a year or two, trying to re-enter the job market later on, and regret that there’s yet another gap in my patchwork resume. These concerns are all legitimate, and Hubs and I discussed them at length before I pulled the trigger.

But those worries are small compared to my excitement. As we speak, I am editing the fourth draft of my fifth novel, and I can’t wait to tell you more. I’m loving being able to engage more with our writers at the Draft House, and to be a little more present for my kids (especially on weekends when I would normally have to take time out from our family to squeeze in my writing time). I’m glad to be back on this blog, sharing my random thoughts with you; and glad to be devoting more time to writing and improving my craft. Writing has always been my first love, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to try to nurture that relationship.

I may fail, and that’s okay. Who knows what the future holds? For now, though, I’d rather fail at my own dream than succeed at someone else’s.

Wish me luck – and stay tuned for updates on my adventure!

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A Memory of Dublin

As I was putting the boys in their green clothes this morning, and preparing the ‘traditional’ Irish green smoothie for breakfast, I thought back to the trip Hubs and I took to Ireland in 2008. It was the year before Skywalker was born: sort of a last pre-kids hurrah, and a celebration of my graduation with my Master’s in Counseling. But really, it’s Ireland. Who needs a reason?

Today I thought I’d share one of my favorite memories from that trip. There are so many to choose from, but this one stands out. It was our second night in Dublin, just before we were heading out west toward Galway, Ennis, the Cliffs of Moher and Dingle. We were run down and jet-lagged and had discovered the night before that it’s just possible we were getting too old for backpacker hostels. All day long we’d been taking in the sights of Dublin – Trinity College, St. Patrick’s Church, the Guinness Brewery, Oscar Wilde…

One last pint. Famous last words. Dublin, Ireland. 2008

At Hubs’ direction, we’d been on an evening tour of some of the best old pubs in The Fair City – across the Liffey and back again after a full day on our feet. We were heading back toward our hostel; and the pubcrawl was beginning to feel like it might end in actual crawling by the time we got there. But there was one more pub on the list, closer to the part of town where our hostel was, and Hubs talked me into One. Last. Pint.

That last pint turned the end of an exhaustive vacation day into a night neither of us has ever forgotten. We wandered into the pub… [I can’t believe neither of us can remember the name of this place – if there are any Dubliners in my network who can identify it from the pictures I’d appreciate it!]… got our ‘final’ drinks of the night and found a spot in a cozy corner booth.

Sharing a booth with the Quay men and WHAT IS THE NAME OF THIS PUB?

We were perhaps halfway through our pints of Guinness, making plans to catch the early bus west the next morning, when some people asked if we could shift over to share our booth. Of course we did, and as we slid down, the people joining us began pulling out instruments. They turned out to be The Quay Man, a local Irish folk band who were the evening’s entertainment.

Our new location pushed us closer to our neighbors, a sweet couple from the country who’d come to Dublin for a funeral and were out for a drink with their daughters before heading home the next day. We chatted with the four of them and several others as the musicians tuned up; and soon the pub was filling with more late-night patrons and the sounds of traditional Irish pub songs.

“May your right hand be stretched out in friendship and never in want.” – Irish Proverb

Songs were played. Pints were bought and shared. Pictures snapped and new friends made. In my memory, I can still hear the strains of “Black Velvet Band,” and “Wild Rover,” sung by the entire room (including Hubs and I, who were learning as we went).  We knew “Whiskey in the Jar,” and “Molly Malone,” and when the band transitioned into “American Pie” — maybe for our benefit — the entire pub seemed to be singing along at the tops of their lungs. It was all the joy and hospitality we’d been looking for in Ireland, and we continued to find it everywhere we went the rest of the trip.

Before we hopped the flight home to Atlanta several days later, we picked up a CD of the traditional pub songs, it’s a well-worn favorite in our house now. We’ll listen to them tonight with our family, maybe I’ll pull together an Irish stew if I feel ambitious. Ostensibly, we do this to celebrate the St. Patrick’s Day holiday; but for Hubs and me, I think it’s also a reminder of the joy you can only find when you follow your sense of adventure.

Sláinte!

A blurry picture of a lovely night. Dublin, Ireland, 2008

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In Which I Get All Fangirl

Old97s #MurryHammond and #KenBethea

This weekend I got to do several things I really enjoyed, one of which was to see my favorite band, Old 97s, in concert at Terminal West in Atlanta. What’s so amazing about that — aside from the fact that any time a mom with two small kids gets to go to a grownup show and dance her ass off is a minor miracle — is that it was my first time seeing them in concert since I put their lyrics in The Marriage Pact. (“Valentine,” page 143, in case you missed it.)

For those of you who don’t know this, song lyrics are – rightly – highly protected pieces of intellectual property. You can’t just decide you want to quote your favorite song in a book and put a note in back crediting the songwriter. It’s complicated. There are copyright owners (who might be the authors, the management company, the record label, etc.) and there’s a whole process for getting permissions that can be time

Ass kicking babyface #RhettMiller

consuming and expensive and generally lead nowhere, especially for a first-time author, self-published, with no credibility and no audience.

But those lyrics were important to me, and important to Marci, and they helped both of us get over heartaches on the road from Austin to Atlanta. I think — I hope — they add something to the book, a little flavor, a little poetry. So I reached out to the band, gushing, and took a shot in the dark they might just work with me. They did. The lovely Murry Hammond got back to me quickly and after a couple of quick emails it was done. They were so gracious, it made me love them all the more.

#MurryandManda #M&M #Toomuch?

Now that The Marriage Pact series has found a home with St. Martin’s Press and is wrapped in its pretty hardback cover, I’ve been anxious for the stars to align so I could see Old 97s in person and say thank you with some signed copies. I got to do that this past Saturday, and had a blast. AND, the band not only put on an amazing show, but they were all kind enough to sign the lyrics page of my copy of The Marriage Pact. Like a freaking high school yearbook. It was the best.

And if you’ve never heard Old 97s, do yourself a favor and check them out. They’re the band you never knew you always loved. If you can listen to Rollerskate Skinny three times without moving, I’ll give you a dollar.

Check them out. The albums are all good. They will shorten any drive, improve any workout, heal any heartbreak (along with time, revenge and ice cream).

But I have to tell you honestly… they’re better in person.

The Spiritual Balm of the Dollar Theater and Justin Timberlake

Note: this post started as a status update on my personal Facebook page, but I decided to share it here as well. I mean, it’s 800 words long. There has to be something worth sharing in there, right? May you find your “JT Moment” this week, too.