C. Lynn Williams's Blog, page 15
February 14, 2020
What Love Means to Me
When I think of Valentine’s Day, I think of red roses 
January 31, 2020
What Happened to Our Sex Life?
When marriage first starts, you can’t stop touching each other. And then there’s the sex. That is never a problem, until you get into the throes of child-rearing, or money gets tight and while trying to figure that out, you forget about the intimacy.
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A few months ago, I had a conversation with one of my daughters who said “Mothers don’t share enough of the challenges of being a wife and mother.” I tried not to get defensive, but as I continue to think about her comment, I think about things I wish my mother shared with me.
When you talk to women who have been married for years, they say things like:
“Cherish your husband.”
“Nurture your marriage”.
“Trust God to bring you through”.
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Depending on the stage of life you are in, you experience hot flashes and nobody says – your body goes from 98.7 F to 150.7 in seconds and you feel slightly insane! Does anybody bother to tell you that parts of you dry up and have to be hydrated with over-the-counter products? No, of course not! Nice women don’t tell their business…
One day you wake up and the hot flashes are gone… Yay… But the sex (and possibly the desire for it) has disappeared too! How in the world is that possible? And more importantly, how do women stay married during “such a time as this”?
Interested in learning more about women as mothers? Contact me – Ms. Parent Guru. Look for our upcoming Modern Moms Love Themselves conference. Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker
January 17, 2020
Stop Holding Onto Anger and Resentment
[image error]Have you ever had a problem with your co-worker or a family member like your mom or spouse, and the more you think about it, you notice a migraine, sore throat, or a head cold starting to develop…?
Or maybe you find yourself resentful of something someone said or did that you can’t let go! At first you notice that you’re not sleeping well. Then you wake up with a stomachache or sore throat. 
January 13, 2020
Hey Mom Lose The Guilt!
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It never surprises me when I ask a question to a mom and her daughter, and they have entirely different thoughts about how a particular experience or conversation turned out. Invariably the daughter may feel that the experience was worse than what her mom thought.
When that happens, mom feels like she has to defend her position. But it’s not the end of the world; just an opportunity to have a deeper understanding of what took place during that experience.
When my daughter was a teen, what I remember thinking was that I was a pretty understanding mom. According to my daughter, I was intolerant (and in her words – scary) 
December 31, 2019
Your No-Stress Guide to the Perfect Family Getaway
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Guest blog by Leslie Campos
Becoming a parent might mean that your days of traveling on a whim with nothing but a backpack are behind you, but it doesn’t have to mean staying put at home, either. Traveling with young children will require some extra planning and preparation. But with strategic budgeting and the right attitude, you can avoid common travel pitfalls.
Want to save money and avoid stressing on your next family vacation? These tips will help you cut costs and enjoy your time off with your little ones.
Travel With Relatives
If you’re planning to hit the road during the holiday season or over the summer, when most people have time off, reach out to relatives or friends with children and see if they would be interested in joining you. Yes, traveling with another family can present challenges, like figuring out finances, coordinating schedules, and making sure the kids get along, but there are also plenty of perks.
With more adults around, parents can swap nights of staying in and babysitting the kids so that the other couple can have a romantic evening out. If you choose to rent a home or a large, multi-room hotel suite, you can save money by splitting the costs. Plus, the kids are less likely to get bored and antsy when they have cousins to hang out with.
Plan to Pump on the Go
When your child is still breastfeeding, you might feel nervous about going on vacation. It’s perfectly normal to have concerns about pumping, breastfeeding in public, or properly storing breast milk while you’re en route to your destination. Having the right supplies can help—for instance, The Bump recommends packing a cooler bag, a leak-resistant bra, and a nursing poncho.
If you’re flying, check out the TSA guidelines for transporting breast milk and other necessities for your baby before you take off. According to Kindred Bravely, women who are breastfeeding and need to store the bottles while traveling should be aware that breastmilk will technically last for about four to five days if refrigerated. However, it’s best for your baby to consume it within 72 hours. To keep the bottles as cold as possible, place them in the back of the fridge once you get to your accommodations.
Baby Wearing
Lugging a stroller around on vacation can be cumbersome, especially if you know that you’ll be flying or taking busses to get around. Instead, try babywearing! Since you’re in an unfamiliar place where your child will inevitably be exposed to extra stimulation, being physically closer to you will be soothing for your baby, especially if they are feeling a little fussy.
There are plenty of options for baby carriers and wraps. If you’re traveling with a newborn, Lamaze Internationalrecommends a ring sling to make nursing easier. Extended babywearing can be uncomfortable for your child’s hips, so it’s important to give them a break every hour or so. Your back and shoulders will thank you!
Early Bedtimes
Every parent knows that kids will be more prone to tantrums if they stay up past their bedtime. On vacation, your kids will probably be tempted to try bending the rules around bedtime, but letting them do so can lead to meltdowns. Treat your kids by letting them stay up a little later than usual, but make it clear that they will still have to stick with a relatively early bedtime.
Waking up and going to bed earlier means that your family can enjoy the popular attractions in the morning when crowds are thin. Bonus: If you make early dinner reservations, you may be able to take advantage of “Kids Eat Free” deals, which will help you cut down on your overall spending.
The costs and effort involved in booking a family vacation can dissuade some parents from hitting the road with their kids. But finding great deals, linking up with relatives, and packing all the gear your family needs can help you have a successful, stress-free trip.
Wishing you and your family a happy new year!
Click Here to become a part of my parenting community.
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
Family Dynamics Strategist, Author & Speaker
December 18, 2019
Co-Parenting Tips For The Holidays
Great article by Kelly Frawley and Emily Pollock
Having survived divorce and coparenting, I appreciate the pointers that are listed here for parents who are divorced and share custody.
“The most wonderful time of the year” has the potential to become not so wonderful when parents who share custody of their children don’t have a mutually agreeable holiday plan in place. This isn’t the time for arguments over who’s getting which day or who’s buying what gift; a carefully thought-out plan can help you avoid tension and uncertainty so that all of you — most importantly, your kids — can enjoy a drama-free winter break.
When deciding how to schedule time and collaborate during the holidays, co-parents should take a number of factors into account: the children’s ages, family traditions and religious beliefs, how well the parents get along, and the kind of relationships the parents have with each of the children (it’s important to respect the traditions that are important to each of them). You might also want to factor in what happens during other school breaks during the year. For example, if one parent traditionally takes the kids on a vacation during spring break, then perhaps the other should get the bulk of winter break.
Looking at the big picture can help you see the logical plan for your family.
Setting a Sensible Schedule
Co-parents typically choose to manage the holiday season one of two ways:
1. Alternating years. One parent keeps the children for the entire winter break in odd-numbered years; the other parent gets them for the entire break in even-numbered years. This approach enables each parent, in their designated years, to plan a lengthy trip or schedule activities throughout the break period without needing to worry about giving the other parent equal time. It tends to work best when neither parent has a strong affinity for the season. Perhaps their religious traditions are celebrated at other times of year; a family may have already celebrated Hanukkah, for example, which often falls before winter break.
The downside of this type of arrangement is that one parent is deprived of holiday time with the children during the parent’s “off” years. This causes many co-parents, especially those who place a high value on holiday traditions, to take a different approach.
2. Equal time. Often, co-parents divide winter break in half, which typically gives each of them a week to celebrate the holidays or take a trip with their kids. They may alternate years when considering who takes the first week versus the second, since Christmas usually falls in the first. Parents may also choose to split the time by day, particularly when it comes to Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. By each taking one of these important days, both parents, as well as the children, get meaningful Christmas time together each year.
In situations where co-parents get along, a third possibility arises: giving the children time with both parents together. For example, children who believe in Santa and cherish Christmas mornings might appreciate having both parents present in those festivities. In fact, children of any age might appreciate a visit by their other parent, as long as the experience remains amicable.
Buying Gifts: Together or Separately?
If your winter break includes a gift-giving occasion, it makes good sense to collaborate with your ex-spouse so you don’t duplicate gifts for your children or inadvertently neglect to buy the gifts they wanted most because you assumed the other parent was buying them. In a Santa situation, discuss who is responsible for that experience. Will it change year to year based on who has the kids on Christmas, or will you work together?
The more collaborative you can be, the better. However, if you absolutely cannot work with your ex-spouse, then it’s important to work through counsel to determine who will be responsible for what so you don’t put your children through undue awkwardness or stress.
You may also want to consider taking your children shopping so they can buy a holiday gift for the other parent. It teaches children not only about giving, but shows that you encourage kindness towards your ex-spouse.
Making the Plan Official
Your holiday plans should be set forth in the custody settlement agreed to in your divorce. The settlement should specify how school holidays—winter break, spring break and the long weekends of Memorial Day, Labor Day, etc.—will be spent and apportioned from year to year. You may want to address what will happen on specific religious holidays your family honors that aren’t included in the school schedule as well. If you decide to continue the regular parenting schedule during a school break, then you should provide such in your agreement. Not doing so leaves the door open for the other parent to later ask a Court to decide whether it should be split or alternated.
Also take your children’s ages into account. Phase-in provisions can be included in regular custody schedules, as well as holiday schedules, when young children are involved. For example, your settlement might set forth one arrangement covering the holidays from 2019-2023, with a different arrangement starting in 2024.
Our advice to co-parents is to sign an agreement that makes sense for your family and then put it in a drawer and live your lives. Try to be accommodating toward each other, working together and adapting as things may change. As long as you agree, you can adjust or change schedules. When you can’t agree to such modifications, a well-considered and negotiated settlement agreement provides the certainty of a schedule around which you can plan.
My Two Cents Worth: There will be times when none of these ideas mentioned in the article work for you, your ex and your child.
The best thing you can do is think about how much your child loves you and your ex (his other parent). Be reasonable, try not to take things personally and be flexible.
Happy Holidays,
C. Lynn Williams, #MsParentguru
November 20, 2019
Modern Moms Embrace The Holidays
Thanksgiving is right around the corner and Christmas soon after. How are you feeling? Is the stress building up?
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I am so excited 
Modern Moms Embrace The Holidays
Thanksgiving is right around the corner and Christmas soon after. How are you feeling? Is the stress building up?
[image error]
I am so excited
Modern Moms Embrace The Holidays
Thanksgiving is right around the corner and Christmas soon after. How are you feeling? Is the stress building up?
[image error]
I am so excited
Modern Moms Embrace The Holidays
Thanksgiving is right around the corner and Christmas soon after. How are you feeling? Is the stress building up?
[image error]
I am so excited
