Heather Frost's Blog - Posts Tagged "extras"

For my birthday this year, I want to give you a gift. My fans are the best in the world, and I want to thank you for supporting me and my books. For becoming friends with Kate, Patrick, Toni, Lee, Grandpa--I'm honored that their story has managed to touch you, that they could become real to you.

From the time I was twelve my birthday wish was always the same: I wished to be an author. I wanted to share a story with the world. Though my wording changed over the years, the wish remained the same. And because you have taken the time to read Kate's story, my wish continues to be fulfilled. Thank you!

Here is the first kiss between Kate and Patrick, from Patrick's perspective. This was something I wrote just so I could get into Patrick's head a bit more; it isn't completely polished, but I hope you enjoy reading it.


The Kiss:

“Thanks for coming,” Kate whispered softly, her dirty blond hair catching the dim light as she glanced up the staircase. Her walk didn't slow as we shuffled past the stairs, but I knew she was straining her ears, instinctively checking on her younger sisters.

I took this opportunity to move past her, hoping to make a quick getaway while she was partially distracted. The warmth I'd felt from her comforting embrace on the couch still enveloped me, and I knew it would be too easy on my part to give into another parting hug. The cowardly part of me wanted to dart to the door and slip out before she could cast a second look in my direction, but that would be far too rude. My Guardian side wouldn't allow such abrupt behavior.

And so my slightly trembling fingers strangled the door handle as I pulled the door open. I tried to swallow, but the attempt failed. I kept my hand on the door and turned to face the sound of her last footfall.

She was closer than I’d expected. My voice was weak in the darkness—I hoped she wouldn't detect the heavy beating of my heart. “Thanks for letting me stay,” I said softly, trying to be brief but polite. “I had a really great time.”

Kate nodded, her face soft, relaxed. “I needed that,” she smiled softly.

How was she so calm, while I was practically falling to pieces in her presence? She was completely unaffected by me, and I was struggling with seemingly every function because of her nearness.

I forced myself to look nonchalant, though it took considerable effort. “So did I.” Short, simple, to the point; I didn't dare say anything more.

I was standing at the threshold, the door open and the cool night inviting. And yet I couldn't force my legs to move. My gaze wouldn't shift from her beautiful face, and so we stood staring. Her green eyes were trained on mine, and though her deepest thoughts were still a mystery, her emotions were clear. I stopped breathing the moment I realized she was no longer inhaling.
My heart soared—she wasn’t entirely impassive. She felt something for me. It was the only explanation. My heart constricted—the next few seconds could change everything.

The entryway was still, and yet every space seemed filled to capacity with the intensity of this moment.

I was trapped in her eyes, unable to look away. Thoughts of leaving the house drained from my body as the air between us undulated with new anticipation.

I swallowed hard, a single lump that symbolized all my tortured thoughts. I'd been trying to keep the picture of Aaron kissing Kate firmly in my mind all evening, to keep my raging emotions at bay, but now that image became a betraying enemy. Her boyfriend faded from my mind, and suddenly I was replacing him. The thought designed to keep me in control was suddenly giving me the perfect idea. I could kiss her. Right now.

I knew I wouldn't be able to hold myself back any longer. I wanted this too badly to restrain myself any more—no matter the consequences. All my resisting up to this point meant nothing in this one moment of weakness.

I leaned forward, fully expecting her to stop me. After all, my intentions were perfectly clear.

She didn't stop me.

Our lips met in the silence, but in the instant of their contact I knew I'd made a mistake. I was her friend. If nothing else, I was her protector. I should not be putting her in this unfair situation. She had a boyfriend. She was confused by her new reality of Demons and Guardians. I was taking advantage of her vulnerability, when what she really needed from me was strength.

These thoughts ran through my mind in an instant. And yet I couldn't pull away as quickly.

After a lingering moment I managed to draw back, breaking the gentle kiss, poignant in its sweetness, its simplicity. But my retreat was not far. I hovered just in front of her, aching for another kiss, but unwilling to initiate the act. I waited breathlessly for her reaction, praying that—whatever it was—I could respond in a dignified manner.

Kate’s response was almost immediate, and one that I couldn't have dreamed in my wildest imaginings.

She took a step forward, pressing our bodies lightly together, and then her head lifted and she kissed me back, our lips brushing a couple times before I allowed my arms to slip around her waist.

“Kate,” I sighed against her, pulling her nearer.

I don't know if she heard my soft whisper or not, but her fingers moved into my hair as she continued to kiss me.

Everything in the world melted away in that moment. Everything but her. I felt her cool fingers on my face, which inspired movements of my own. One hand was on her arm, but I slowly trailed it toward her shoulder, which I crested, stopping only when my palm was cradling the side of her neck. There I held her, deepening our kiss.

I'd wanted to do this for so long, the moment felt surreal. The attraction I'd felt for her from the beginning had been escalating to this pivotal moment, and fighting no longer seemed necessary. Why had I been fighting in the first place? I loved her. She obviously had feelings for me. What had been the point of denial?

Aaron.

I broke away instantly, as if I'd been electrocuted.

Kate was in love with Aaron. Not me.

Her eyes had been closed, but now they peered up at me, searching my face. What would she see? My pleasure, or my pain? Conflict, or contentment?

I felt transparent. I'd never dropped my defenses so completely. I was breathing deeply, and as I stared at Kate, I realized that I was not alone in that.

Her face was a mixture that could have easily matched my own roiling emotions. She seemed happy. And yet I could see her hesitation, her uncertainty. Perhaps even guilt. Guilt that would ultimately become regret; she knew our kiss had been a mistake.

I tried not to let the unspoken rejection destroy me, but my control was slipping rapidly. I needed to get out of here—before I did something truly stupid.

I lifted a single finger to stroke across her cheek, the beginnings of my apology. “I'm sorry,” I breathed, struggling to speak at all. “I shouldn't have done that.” How could I have done anything else? “Forgive me,” I begged, voice ragged.

How could I ask her to forgive my action, when I didn't regret doing it?

Before my resolve completely crumbled I dropped my hand and pulled away from her warm body. My empty hands stung, and my face was burning with a mixture of shame and anger. Anger at Toni, for placing me in this tempting situation; anger at myself for falling in love with someone I could never have; and undeniable, irrational anger toward the boy who held her heart.

I left the house, pulling the door shut behind me in an effort to quicken my escape from her searching gaze. I felt like I was running from a sin—an impossibility according to all I’d ever been taught—and yet I was unable to stop moving away from the house. I nearly jumped from the porch, and as I strode down the length of the driveway I dug fiercely in my pocket for the car keys. I rounded my car, and jerked the door open.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid!” I muttered harshly under my breath. I never should have kissed her.

I slammed the door closed, pounded my fist once against the steering wheel, hoping that physical pain might distract me. My unsteady breathing was loud in the confines of the empty car, and my shaking fingers could hardly place the key in the ignition. I was eternally grateful that there were no witnesses to my desperate display.

At last the car came to life, and I exhaled deeply, pressing the back of my head against the seat. My hands strangled the wheel, and I shifted sharply out of park.

As I peeled away from the curb and launched into the empty street, only one thing was certain in my turbulent thoughts.

I was in love with Kate Bennett. And there would be no going back.