Kristy Berridge's Blog, page 2

What I would love to learn how to do?

Did you ever have a goal or ambition or dream of something that you would love to do? Well, I’m not really that person. Sorry.

I have ideas and generalised life targets, but nothing I truly ‘love’ to do. Sometimes I wonder if that’s sad that I don’t have anything in my life that I’m truly passionate about, but I figure since I’m well-rounded enough to enjoy multiple different things, that it’s okay not to love just one individual thing to the extreme.

For example, I enjoy writing and often find it very cathartic (if my newborn baby isn’t screaming in the background like he is right now ... BRB)

Right, so I also like to exercise and eat right because it makes my body feel good and helps balance any negative emotions that may be festering in my mind. I enjoy reading health & Fitness magazines when I get a spare minute (if I get a spare minute. No one tells you when you have a baby that you’ll never get a spare minute again ... ☹)

Anyway ... I adore catching up with my closest friends and family and I like to travel more than I like to eat peanut butter, but are these things something that I would love to do? Would I love to learn a new language? Would I love to recycle more? Would I love to stop my hubby from farting in bed? The answer is yes, but I don’t necessarily love these ideas enough to make them happen which brings me back to the original notion that you need to be passionate in order to execute.

Does anyone else feel like passion evades their drive?

Kristy

The invasion of the Coronavirus

The invasion of the Coronavirus. It is an invasion, right? No one knows for sure how it might have cropped up other than a theory that perhaps someone ate a bat from a wet market in China.

Ugh...

I don’t want to start in on the sanitation implications of that alone, but irrespective of where this virus came from or how it might have gained momentum, it is an invasion. It has invaded our lives all across the globe in some of the worst ways possible. Our everyday freedom has been quashed, jobs have been lost, economies have taken a nose-dive and lives have been lost ... a lot of lives.

But despite this invasion to our privacy, work, home life and friendship circles, it has birthed a new generation of inspiring change. Never before has creativity been fostered so endearingly from kids creating crafts, people generating a side-hustle income or businesses adapting with new products and innovative ideas.

Take the extreme loss of life out of the equation and is being invaded all that bad? The environment is thriving, people are more connected than ever before and creative productivity has soared to inspirational heights. If you haven’t been touched by the impact of death or financial hardship, then this invasion has proven significantly effective in rebooting our way of life.

Kristy

Men's rights from a woman's perspective.

Men’s rights from a woman’s perspective ... well ... this depends entirely on which woman you ask, right?

If you ask a mother about her son, then perhaps his rights as a young boy don’t translate to reality in a situation where being young implies lack of ability and developed intelligence. But, if several years go by and that same boy becomes a man, makes a life for himself and is sensible 90% of the time, then perhaps a mother would view her son’s rights as legitimate.

If you’re a scorned woman with a rocky past with men, then any right that a man might have may feel like a huge loss or a decline in women’s liberation. The scars of a personal past may impact on what you may now feel a man actually has a right to say or do. This can lead to bias and unfair categorisation of men in general.

A wife’s perspective on the rights of her husband may be forged through time and incidence. For example, that 100cm television he bought with the electricity money or the day he forgot half the groceries and purchased a slab of beer instead may in fact limit the rights of a husband in a wife’s mind. On the other hand, trust and loyalty can walk hand-in-hand where rights are thought equal as division of jobs, child-rearing and housework become fair and equitable.

In the end, no matter a woman’s role in a man’s life; be it wife, friend, sister, stranger, lover ... the rights of another human being should never be stifled, ignored or eliminated because of the bias of the past, present or possibility of the future. Men’s rights are just as valid and relevant as any woman. No one individual should define what another human being is capable of or entitled to ... that’s just not right.

Kristy

Are secrets important?

I don’t think that there’s a soul on the planet that can admit to telling the truth 100% of the time. But whether or not you tell the truth or constantly lie is not in question. The question is: Are secrets important?

I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer to this. A secret can hide a million bad things, prevent drama, create drama, but it can also protect. So, are secrets important? The word important denotes vital or even necessary, but a secret is just something you don’t say out loud. The truth is, would a secret ever really bother you if you never even heard it?

Hmm, something to ponder.

I think secrets are somewhat healthy and normal. No one ever truly reveals every single part of themselves and no one is ever that vulnerable. A secret doesn’t have to be a way to shut others out, protect the nation’s interests or be used in spiteful circumstances. Sometimes a secret can be to keep a surprise from a loved one, it can be that whisper of loving emotion that you’re not quite ready to admit or the white lie you may say to uphold another’s mental health.

Secrets aren’t important or necessary, they’re simply a part of human nature, a chance to hide what we don’t yet want known. Does that make them important? Well, I think that’s up to the individual to decide.

Kristy

Anything is possible. Or is it?

Most people love a good scapegoat or excuse don’t they? It gives those without drive a reason to say that something might not be possible. They can then hinge their lack of accomplishment on some invented reason as to why a goal simply cannot be met. I’m certainly no stranger to this, I constantly procrastinate and invent excuses as to why I can’t do something.

But does this mean that anything isn’t in fact possible? Hell no. It just means I’m lazy - Hella lazy sometimes.

Anything is possible if you decide that it’s a goal worth attaining. Want to lose weight? Go on a diet and start exercising more. Want to get a degree? Work your ass off, study and apply yourself. Want to buy a new car? Save up and get the damn Ferrari. Want to learn to dance? Enrol in a class and practice. You get my point, right?

Any goal is possible – possible meaning ‘able to be done or achieved’ – but only with the application of dedication and drive. So, although there might be some things that aren’t realistically possible to achieve such as visiting the moon or becoming a porn star, that doesn’t mean the journey to TRY and POSSIBLY attain those goals isn’t worth the effort.

Holding hope in the face of adversity builds strength of character. But don’t ever say that something isn’t possible. Anything is possible with the right attitude and productivity.

Kristy

Alone, lonely or just being alone

Since the Covid pandemic hit the globe, the act of being alone or feeling lonely has come under the spotlight. Although every Country’s restrictions may differ, here in Australia we’ve dabbled in social distancing and full isolation in an effort to stop the curve. Whether these safety measures are proving successful or not, being alone has become a part of everyday life for some.

Isolation has forged new avenues of creativity in the form of communication, causing many to flourish in business, professionally and personally. Can we honestly call ourselves lonely with greater access to community and audience than ever before? What if you’re a bumbling idiot regarding technology or don’t have access to the web? Should we not consider this minority group cut off from everyone at risk of being lonely, not just alone?

We need to remember that we didn’t always have technology. We used to communicate via phone or drop in on our neighbours and friends. And, in this time of social distancing, it only takes a second to wave at the creeper across the street or write a letter to the old woman with no family in a nursing home.

Covid shouldn’t have made us better at making money and utilising technology. It should have made us humble and more considerate of those around us.

Kristy

I love listening to ...

It’s a bit open-ended, isn’t it? You can love listening to a whole host of things; Your favourite song, the sound of someone else cooking dinner, rain landing on arid earth or the gunfire crack of a bullet aimed directly at your pesky ex.

Whoops, just kidding, but there are so many things that you can enjoy listening to. As humans, we truly are blessed to be open to the sounds of nature, music, conversation and laughter. But, for the purpose of this blog, let’s touch on my favourite sounds so you can get to know a little more about me ... Kristy.

My favourite song to bliss out to would have to be Etta James’s ‘At Last’. Whenever I hear this song, everything is a-okay in the world no matter what. Billy Joel’s ‘Uptown Girl’ has always made me want to mop the floor and Marvin Gaye’s ‘Sexual Healing’ just makes my head bop like a dashboard hula girl.

My favourite way to wake up each day is to hear the sounds of the birds chirping outside our window and hopefully the toilet flushing so I know hubby’s getting up to feed the baby (wishful thinking on my part there). I also love the sound of the kettle boiling, knowing that a hot cup of tea is headed my way.

I love the sound the rain makes as it comes across the mountains and pelts down upon the asphalt outside. I love the sound my hubby makes when he snores and the newborn gurgles from the cot at the end of our bed. I love the sound of my family’s successes and the happy chatter of friends. In fact, it’s becoming glaringly obvious that I enjoy listening to a lot of things and thus I’m grateful that I can.

What do you enjoy listening to?

Kristy

What no one tells you about Pregnancy

I couldn’t help but dabble in this subject matter for the blog. I gave birth myself just over three months ago and everything is still fresh and raw in my mind. Plus, my latest novel (currently in the editing process) is a continuation from 100 Days of Happiness and a delightfully honest foray into pregnancy, birth and all that shite no one ever tells you about. So, I would say this topic is epically timed.

What no one ever tells you about pregnancy is that there’s only a fifty-fifty chance you’re going to love every second of it or wish you’d castrated your partner before his super sperm had done its job. Me being the latter, I’d felt that pregnancy was like being part of a hostage situation. No one tells you that you’ll lose the real-estate on your bladder and have to move full-time onto the porcelain bus and no one tells you that the first three months you’re shelling out cash for endless tests just to make sure you have a healthy human instead of a mini ape growing inside you.

What else does no one tell you? That your favourite Cuppa Joe may suddenly be removed from palatable substances you used to consume, your farts could end the world and every single day is a ‘fat day’ ladies. I should go on to mention that also, no one ever tells you how much labour will actually hurt. Imagine a Mack track ramming head first into a sewerage pipe and busting through the other end. Do you think there’s any damage after that? Sure, there’s stitches, blood, a giant gaping hole for future sexual exploits and probably a case of your insides trying to escape through your cervix. Nice, huh?

But on a lighter note, what no one can ever explain or tell you about pregnancy is how much you will love that little stow-away the second you lay eyes on him. And, despite all of the reasons mentioned above to book a full hysterectomy now, every single second of trauma will be worth it.

Unless of course the little bastard screams incessantly and never lets you sleep ...

Kristy

My First Date

For any of you that have read my illustrious book ‘100 Days of Happiness’, you’ll know I’ve had quite a few dates in my time. My hubby still calls me a dirty whore in jest, but the truth is, it’s like buying ice-cream isn’t it? You don’t know exactly what you want until you’ve sampled at least a few of the, right?

Right.

So, I can’t exactly talk about ‘My First Date’ since I just mentioned there’s been a few.  What I can talk about, is the varied array that have occurred and the reasons why a first date doesn’t necessarily equate to a memorable experience, but rather, a reason to move forward, push the eject button or evacuate completely.

My very first date occurred when I was eleven years old. We’d gone to the movies with his family and mine as a part of a charity event and consequently been watched by said parents incessantly. I think we may have touched fingers at some point, but that was it. Exciting stuff, right? Definitely a reason to evacuate completely.

For ‘First Date’ number two, I would have been sixteen. This was the prelude to my first marriage and my then husband-to-be. I should have pushed the eject button then and there considering he showed up wearing all red; red jeans (I hadn’t known there was such a thing), red joggers and a bloody red shirt. He looked like a piece of fruit.

Several years on and I was divorced and back on the dating scene. So many men and so little time, right? Not exactly, but the first dates were thick and fast and nothing to write home about. Some guys smelt like they had an aversion to soap. One guy had gnarly toenails, another’s breath smelt like a brewery. Another thought ‘snot shots’ were a sport, another enjoyed sex with himself more than me.

The only memorable first date I ever had was with my current hubby. I know I’m supposed to say that, but it’s the honest-to-God truth. He wasn’t a weirdo, was and still is extremely intelligent, sometimes funny and he thinks smart, independent women are a turn on. He was a diamond in the rough to be sure, especially at my age where the fish in the pond have generally already been caught.

So in essence, a first date really doesn’t mean too much. It’s more like a job interview or a sampling of the pre-referenced ice-cream before buying the popsicle. It’s a chance to test compatibility and longevity. And, if all else fails, a chance to have a few minutes of fun! So, crack on with your first dates and chalk them up to experience, but don’t take them too seriously unless the flavour sitting in front of you is the one you want to eat for the rest of your life.

Kristy

The Male Guide to Female Communication

Okay, so this is a tough one to communicate period because there is no right or wrong answer to this and certainly no two females on the planet are exactly alike. Likewise, no couples are the same nor are the males trying to determine what weird and wonderful things fly through the female brain.

It is safe to say, though, that women do give off signals that are often missed or completely misinterpreted. For example, when we’re trying something on and we ask you what you think, we’d actually like you to give us an honest response. Not, ‘You look like a fat whale in that,’ kind of honest answer, but the sort that shows you’re actually trying to help us determine whether or not to buy and or wear the item of clothing in question. If we do happen to look like Moby Dick, it’s best to control your repulsed fascial features and simply say, ‘Hmm, I don’t think that’s the right choice, maybe try ... (offering an alternative here is gold).’

Not so complicated, right?

There are about a million other examples of where communication between men and women break down. Who does the housework and what percentage is fair? Did she just fake her orgasm? Maybe I shouldn’t have bought that boat with our life savings without consulting her first. She won’t notice if I start wearing her lingerie or that I left our kid in the school parking lot for three hours, will she?

Soooo many situations in which communication can break down. So, the question is, how can men better understand how to deal with the female psyche? Well, the truth from my perspective is that you’re completely fucked. Most of the time we have no idea what we want until we want it, so it’s virtually impossible. What I can say, though, is that better led communication comes from knowing the other person in the relationship. What makes them happy? What pisses them off? If you can find a way to read her body language before the shit hits the fan, you’re onto a winner.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. I’m certainly no relationship expert. Six years later and my hubby still leaves the wet mat on the bathroom floor and throws his clothes next to the laundry basket instead of in it. He’s about a second off getting a crowbar to the face because that’s me communicating regularly with words regarding exactly what I want, but the truth is, he chooses not to listen. Thus, a male guide to female communication is a waste of time if you’re not willing to read the fine print.

We’re all gonna do what we want to do anyway, right?

Right.

Kristy