Joshua Unruh's Blog, page 10

Lessons From The Dice Bag – Something They Can’t Ignore

Earlier this week, you heard about an important lesson I learned from the Smallville roleplaying game about relationship-driven drama and the addition of weird elements. Today, I'm excited to talk about a strange, independently published game called Dogs in the Vineyard. The lesson I learned here seems like it should be obvious, and yet just moving it from the background to the foreground of my mind has made a big difference in my writing.

Dogs in the Vineyard

So the premise of Dogs is kinda strange, but it isn't really germane to this post. I'll just put the Wikipedia link right here and you can go read more about it or not as you like. It's a pretty great game, though.

The fascinating part for the purposes of this blog post is the conflict mechanic and what it requires from the players. A pool of dice are rolled and then the conflict takes turns in a manner similar to a poker hand.

The first person to make a move sets the number, which must be met or beaten in as few dice as possible from the opponent's pool. This is called a See. The opponent then declares what she does by pushing two dice forward to set a new target number. This is called a Raise.

So an argument might consist of Point from Player A (first play), Response from Player B (See), Counterpoint from Player B (Raise), Response from Player A (See), Counterpoint from Player A (Raise), etc. The number of dice you See with decides if you take Fallout from the altercation. That part isn't important for this post, but it's how you take "damage" in the game.

The bit that impacted my writing was what the book said about Raises. Whatever the Raise is on the dice (and the rules cover everything from a conversation up to a gunfight with the same mechanic), in the fiction, it has to be something the other person cannot ignore.

Like comparing his mother to a dog of the female persuasion.

Or a public accusation of wrongdoing.

Or getting manhandled out a door.

Or a knife shoved in your gut.

Or a gun pointed in your face.

Have you ever read a book or story where two characters are having a conversation and nothing is really happening in it? Like you know from the narrative that there's a conflict underneath the chatter, only you totally can't see that from what's being said? They have to be arguing or throwing plates or screaming, but the back-and-forth of the conversation certainly isn't bringing the conflict to the fore.

Sometimes the characters are even reacting as though they're getting angry or going on the defensive, but you honestly can't tell why that is from the words used. I see this a lot, and it boggles my mind because nobody would write a fistfight or a shootout this way. Yet it happens to dialogue all the time.

Then I ran into Dogs. The conflict was supposed to be driving the boring conversation, but each character kept saying things the other side could ignore. Both sides kept talking, but the words weren't driving or pointing toward the conflict, and we, the readers, therefore don't understand why anything that's happening is happening. Or even why we should care.

Keep the Dogs advice about Seeing in mind whenever you're writing anything from a discussion on up to fullscale warfare and watch the sparks fly. Go back through any scene that's meant to have conflict, especially the talky ones, and make sure that each side is saying things the other cannot ignore. Then make damn sure the opposing character isn't ignoring it.

You can trust me when I say this because I've seen it a hundred times at the gaming table: If you run a scene like this, then the conflict can still be under the surface but the bubbles boiling to the top will make sure nobody forgets it's down there.

And that's one helluva lesson from the dice bag!

Pimpin’ Addendum

As a further discussion of my previous post, I submit this piece from The Oatmeal. I don't want to steal anything, so just click through and check it out.

This was sent to me in a passive/aggressive manner even though I don't do this kind of thing, or at least very, very rarely. So that'll show you how even one request for a Like or a ReTweet can change the way people see you depending on their threshold.

Lessons From The Dice Bag – Relationships and the Weird

I've mentioned in previous posts that I lurve tabletop roleplaying games. I tend to wind up being the gamemaster rather than a regular player. For those not in the know, the gamemaster plays the world, everyone in the world, arbitrates rules, maintains the social contract, herds the cats that are scheduling three or four hours of time for a group of 3-5 adults, and generally tries to make everything entertaining.

That's a lot of work! But it often leads to insights into writing fiction without the collaboration of my players. This happened enough that I decided to create a new feature where I share these Lessons From The Dice Bag. Here's my first example, a lesson I learned recently from Smallville.

Smallville

Let's get two things out of the way right quick. They are important for any discussion of the Smallville RPG. First, that show was godawful. That word means so awful even God, who pronounced all the Cosmos to be good, looked at it and was like, "No...just no."

Second, the roleplaying game is BRILLIANT.

Okay, with that established, we can move on. You may have noticed, I like my stories to have an element of weirdness. Magic, superpowers, aliens, monsters, Destiny, nosy reporters, whatever. Smallville the show had all these things (and yet it was still terrible...the mind wobbles). Smallville the game gives you all the tools to have those things.

But, and this is key, weird stuff didn't drive the conflict of the show, relationships did. Who couldn't tell the truth to who else because they were secretly an alien? Who secretly loved who? Who was a costumed vigilante in their spare time? Who was secretly spying on her friends "for their own good?" And, above all, how did this make everyone FEEL?

With all that going on, you might think the weird stuff was just set dressing for the relationships. But here's the lesson I learned from the game: In relationship-driven drama, the action and weird stuff isn't set dressing so much as it's a magnifying glass thrown on the relationship drama.

You want to do a Very Special Episode about eating disorders? Then a fat girl eats nothing but vegetables that have grown in Kryptonite soil until she first gets thin and then has to eat other people for their fat.

You want to see how a character would react to another character's declaration of love and adoration? Have a shapeshifter show up and make the declaration.

You want your whiny-ass main character to see that maybe having superpowers is actually really awesome and that saving people is a pretty great way to spend your time even if you don't get to play football in the meantime? Have a freak lightning storm steal his powers and give them to some less responsible kid.

Weird stuff is a magnifying glass that makes the relationship problems bigger (sorta like Christmas is for newlyweds). No! Wait! It's more like an exotic spice added to a dish. The spice makes the dish more interesting than it was on its own and makes the interplay of flavors already there more pronounced and interesting.

I don't do a lot of relationship-driven drama, but I now feel utterly prepared to do one. It will have weird things going on, but they won't just be floating around in the background being weird. Neither will they become the whole point and take over the story. Instead, they will be used as the spice, as the magnifying glass that focuses heat on an already volatile situation.

Come back next time and I'll tell you a VERY important lesson I learned from an oddball game called Dogs in the Vineyard.

Julie Lindsey’s Death by Chocolate Blogstravaganza!

Today I have the distinct pleasure of sharing a guest post with you by one of my very favorite e-quaintences. I somehow discovered Julie on Twitter and found her to be hilarious, honest, and, well, let's say prolific in her volume of tweets. As an avid reader of Young Adult fiction, she was willing to share her blog space with me when I published TEEN Agents and I'm very happy to be able to do the same for her Death by Chocolate. I sympathize with this post deeply and am even thinking of breaking my own moratorium on romance reading to give DbC a thorough going-over. Now, here's Julie.

Thank you so much Joshua for letting me stop by today as part of my Death by Chocolate blog tour!  Writing for publication is a huge dream of mine and I hope this is just the beginning. Having incredible reader/writer/blogger friends like you is the icing on my awesome-cake LOL and I am right at home! The journey this far has already been major nuts. I have three small Lindseys to thank for much of that. I thought I’d give you a peek into my life as one parent reader/writer/blogger to another so you’ll know you’re not alone if you are also covered in Polly Pockets and Play-Doh when you stand up from a long day of writing.

Writing with Children is A Wild & Crazy Ride!

It all started three years ago while I was up all night nursing a cranky newborn. You see, Little Miss came along and swiped my office. She now has a pink princess castle room filled with toys, and I have a laptop on the couch. Unfair, maybe. Parenthood? Totally. I used to write for sanity sake and log the ins and outs of my kids’ lives for posterity. Then I caught a movie on late one night. I loved it. I was captivated. When my husband told me he thought it was a book, I couldn’t wait to read it.

The book did not disappoint. After that, my life changed completely. I wanted more than anything to write a story that would affect other readers the way my favorite authors have affected me. Suddenly, writing snippets didn’t suit me anymore. I wanted to impact someone too. I want this very much. To reach out and put a smile on a stranger’s face is my new goal and where I have focused all my extra energy.

My kids are pretty used to seeing my body on the couch with a laptop blocking my head. This is our life. They see me working toward an impossible goal with no amount of formal education on the topic. I hope they learn to reach for the starts. They hear me rant over cruel and sometimes stooped rejections. I hope they learn not to give up. Believe in themselves and Just Keep GOING. We’ll see. That’s the long haul. In the here and now, my house is a mess, the laundry is always wrinkled and we eat more things form the freezer than the garden sometimes. I’m hoping they won’t remember that part. I hope they remember I worked hard and when I had time, I spent it on them, not ironing. We’ll see.

I’ve also taught them to laugh, and not take themselves too seriously. We’ve gone out for the day only to stop at Chucky Cheese for dinner. I kick off my shoes to join them in the tunnels and see I’ve been wearing two different shoes all day. They’ve seen me get into the passenger side when there are no other adults with us, and I have to get out and go around to the right door. I’ve set packages down at the mall to strap kids inside, then driven over the packages on my way out of the spot. *hangs head*

Above all else, the writer life has taught me to go with it. I roll with whatever comes my way and have learned to be thankful for the blessings that come together so I can be in this chaos. My life is blessed. Reader/Writer/Blogger/Mommy is a super extra crazy job description, but I know I’m way more fun because of it.

If you are in need of a smile, I hope my new book will do the trick. Death by Chocolate is silliness wrapped in OMG. It puts life in perspective. I mean, at least I’ve never accidentally killed anybody!

Death by Chocolate

Ruby Russell has reached her limit. When she discovers her hipster husband has a dirty little secret, she whips him up a Viagra-infused-chocolate mousse punishment, but in the morning, her husband's a stiff. Armed with a lifetime of crime show reruns and Arsenic and Old Lace on DVD, Ruby and her best friend Charlotte try to lay low until after Ruby's son's wedding, but a nosy therapist, meddling minister and local news reporter are making it very difficult to get away with murder.

About Julie:

I am a mother of three, wife to a sane person and Ring Master at the Lindsey Circus. Most days you'll find me online, amped up on caffeine & wielding a book.

You can find my blogging about the writer life at Musings from the Slush Pile

Tweeting my crazy at @JulieALindsey

Reading to soothe my obsession on GoodReads

And other books by me on Amazon

Julie Lindsey's Death by Chocolate Blogstravaganza!

Today I have the distinct pleasure of sharing a guest post with you by one of my very favorite e-quaintences. I somehow discovered Julie on Twitter and found her to be hilarious, honest, and, well, let's say prolific in her volume of tweets. As an avid reader of Young Adult fiction, she was willing to share her blog space with me when I published TEEN Agents and I'm very happy to be able to do the same for her Death by Chocolate. I sympathize with this post deeply and am even thinking of breaking my own moratorium on romance reading to give DbC a thorough going-over. Now, here's Julie.

Thank you so much Joshua for letting me stop by today as part of my Death by Chocolate blog tour!  Writing for publication is a huge dream of mine and I hope this is just the beginning. Having incredible reader/writer/blogger friends like you is the icing on my awesome-cake LOL and I am right at home! The journey this far has already been major nuts. I have three small Lindseys to thank for much of that. I thought I'd give you a peek into my life as one parent reader/writer/blogger to another so you'll know you're not alone if you are also covered in Polly Pockets and Play-Doh when you stand up from a long day of writing.

Writing with Children is A Wild & Crazy Ride!

It all started three years ago while I was up all night nursing a cranky newborn. You see, Little Miss came along and swiped my office. She now has a pink princess castle room filled with toys, and I have a laptop on the couch. Unfair, maybe. Parenthood? Totally. I used to write for sanity sake and log the ins and outs of my kids' lives for posterity. Then I caught a movie on late one night. I loved it. I was captivated. When my husband told me he thought it was a book, I couldn't wait to read it.

The book did not disappoint. After that, my life changed completely. I wanted more than anything to write a story that would affect other readers the way my favorite authors have affected me. Suddenly, writing snippets didn't suit me anymore. I wanted to impact someone too. I want this very much. To reach out and put a smile on a stranger's face is my new goal and where I have focused all my extra energy.

My kids are pretty used to seeing my body on the couch with a laptop blocking my head. This is our life. They see me working toward an impossible goal with no amount of formal education on the topic. I hope they learn to reach for the starts. They hear me rant over cruel and sometimes stooped rejections. I hope they learn not to give up. Believe in themselves and Just Keep GOING. We'll see. That's the long haul. In the here and now, my house is a mess, the laundry is always wrinkled and we eat more things form the freezer than the garden sometimes. I'm hoping they won't remember that part. I hope they remember I worked hard and when I had time, I spent it on them, not ironing. We'll see.

I've also taught them to laugh, and not take themselves too seriously. We've gone out for the day only to stop at Chucky Cheese for dinner. I kick off my shoes to join them in the tunnels and see I've been wearing two different shoes all day. They've seen me get into the passenger side when there are no other adults with us, and I have to get out and go around to the right door. I've set packages down at the mall to strap kids inside, then driven over the packages on my way out of the spot. *hangs head*

Above all else, the writer life has taught me to go with it. I roll with whatever comes my way and have learned to be thankful for the blessings that come together so I can be in this chaos. My life is blessed. Reader/Writer/Blogger/Mommy is a super extra crazy job description, but I know I'm way more fun because of it.

If you are in need of a smile, I hope my new book will do the trick. Death by Chocolate is silliness wrapped in OMG. It puts life in perspective. I mean, at least I've never accidentally killed anybody!

Death by Chocolate

Ruby Russell has reached her limit. When she discovers her hipster husband has a dirty little secret, she whips him up a Viagra-infused-chocolate mousse punishment, but in the morning, her husband's a stiff. Armed with a lifetime of crime show reruns and Arsenic and Old Lace on DVD, Ruby and her best friend Charlotte try to lay low until after Ruby's son's wedding, but a nosy therapist, meddling minister and local news reporter are making it very difficult to get away with murder.

About Julie:

I am a mother of three, wife to a sane person and Ring Master at the Lindsey Circus. Most days you'll find me online, amped up on caffeine & wielding a book.

You can find my blogging about the writer life at Musings from the Slush Pile

Tweeting my crazy at @JulieALindsey

Reading to soothe my obsession on GoodReads

And other books by me on Amazon

Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy…

If you'll jog over to the lovely Julie Lindsey's blog, Musings From The Slush Pile, you'll find a post about how readers don't always want to friend authors on GoodReads because they're afraid they're going to get spammed about buying/reading/reviewing books.

This is a pretty legitimate fear, honestly. I'm so afraid of being that guy, that I probably don't self-promote enough on Twitter and Facebook. Or GoodReads, for that matter, because I mainly prefer to use it as a reader with the added benefit of other readers being able to find me as an author easily should they like.

I'm friends with a lot of writers and authors (don't ask what my pedantic difference is) on Twitter and, I have to admit, I get really tired of seeing all the book ads. Even from, maybe especially from, the authors I like, whether I like them as authors, friends, or, better yet, both.

Honestly, I probably undersell myself a lot because I'm afraid of becoming that tweeter. I link blog posts, but usually only twice the day it comes out. Maybe twice one more day if I think it's really solid work. I always heavily link my books or stories when they come out, but only for a week or two at the max. I do the same, albeit probably closer to the one week than the fortnight, for friends' and co-workers' books and stories. But that's about it.

So the answer here is...I don't know. I know social media is huge for indie authors and publishers, of which I am both. I also know that if others have managed to annoy me with their spammy behavior, then I would annoy many, many others with similar behavior. I think more frequent reminders and talking about my works at the blog (which then gets tweeted and facebooked) is entirely appropriate. But that's usually more about works forthcoming than works available now.

I guess I'll continue to do what I am doing, which is err on the side of not endlessly promoting myself. I'd rather dazzle someone with my humor and wit via Twitter or Facebook rather than tell them the title of my book. That way, when I do periodically tweet and post about something I've written that I think is pretty great, they might be more likely to believe me.

There's a pretty robust conversation going on at Julie's blog, so comment there or here. Tell me what you guys think! Let your voices be heard!

PS: Julie will have a guest post here on Thursday, so if you like what you see at her own blog, there'll be more here for you in a couple days!

Pimpin' Ain't Easy…

If you'll jog over to the lovely Julie Lindsey's blog, Musings From The Slush Pile, you'll find a post about how readers don't always want to friend authors on GoodReads because they're afraid they're going to get spammed about buying/reading/reviewing books.

This is a pretty legitimate fear, honestly. I'm so afraid of being that guy, that I probably don't self-promote enough on Twitter and Facebook. Or GoodReads, for that matter, because I mainly prefer to use it as a reader with the added benefit of other readers being able to find me as an author easily should they like.

I'm friends with a lot of writers and authors (don't ask what my pedantic difference is) on Twitter and, I have to admit, I get really tired of seeing all the book ads. Even from, maybe especially from, the authors I like, whether I like them as authors, friends, or, better yet, both.

Honestly, I probably undersell myself a lot because I'm afraid of becoming that tweeter. I link blog posts, but usually only twice the day it comes out. Maybe twice one more day if I think it's really solid work. I always heavily link my books or stories when they come out, but only for a week or two at the max. I do the same, albeit probably closer to the one week than the fortnight, for friends' and co-workers' books and stories. But that's about it.

So the answer here is...I don't know. I know social media is huge for indie authors and publishers, of which I am both. I also know that if others have managed to annoy me with their spammy behavior, then I would annoy many, many others with similar behavior. I think more frequent reminders and talking about my works at the blog (which then gets tweeted and facebooked) is entirely appropriate. But that's usually more about works forthcoming than works available now.

I guess I'll continue to do what I am doing, which is err on the side of not endlessly promoting myself. I'd rather dazzle someone with my humor and wit via Twitter or Facebook rather than tell them the title of my book. That way, when I do periodically tweet and post about something I've written that I think is pretty great, they might be more likely to believe me.

There's a pretty robust conversation going on at Julie's blog, so comment there or here. Tell me what you guys think! Let your voices be heard!

PS: Julie will have a guest post here on Thursday, so if you like what you see at her own blog, there'll be more here for you in a couple days!

Vive la Différence: Science Fiction and Fantasy

Vive la Différence is a new feature of the blog (probably, note previous posts) where I take a couple things that have been (sometimes inexplicably) intertwined with one another and talk about what, to me, are the core differences between them.

Today's two sacred cows ready to be slaughtered, ground, and grilled are the venerable statesmen of nerdery...science fiction and fantasy.

Even undergradutes in Nerdery or Geekonomy are aware of Clarke's law that any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. This more than anything save the overlap in fandoms explains why these two genres have been so closely linked. While the early days of "hard science fiction" tried (and typically succeeded) in grounding their worldbuilding in hard science facts, this eventually fell by the wayside for the most part.

Eventually you get into the areas of Space Opera, such as Flash Gordon, Buck Rogers, or the Star Wars franchise, that don't even try and hide the fact that they are essentially fantasy stories with the trappings of science fiction.

"But how does it work?" the fan says. "It's futuristic, advanced technology!" the author might reply, "so it just does." And, for the most part, this has been perfectly acceptable. Although, every now and then you'll find a series of sci fi novels that tries to pay more than the usual amount of lip service to science fact. The Honor Harrington series comes immediately to mind.

Nevertheless, there is still a moment where we, the reader or viewer, have to suspend our disbelief and just accept that the tech works because the fictional people have discovered some esoteric fact or formula that we have yet to stumble upon.

Which sounds dreadfully like magic if you think very hard about it. Is there a great distance between the scientific laboratory with its bubbling beakers and Jacob's Ladders and the alchemist's workspace with its bubbling beakers and stuffed alligators? Is there a great distance between the scientist's unintelligible scribblings on a blackboard and the draconian scratching of ancient glyphs on the diabolist's floor?

I have come to the conclusion that the main difference between science fiction and fantasy is one of attitude. Generally and broadly, in a science fiction story, when something inexplicable happens, there's someone there to insist that there is an explanation. In fantasy, at some level, it is entirely appropriate and accepted to shrug your shoulders and figure faeries did it.

This isn't to say that there aren't rules for magic. John Butcher's Dresden Files exemplify the marriage of vague science fact with eldritch fiction. The energy for spells has to come from somewhere, there are sympathetic energies, etc. But at the same time, there are beings ancient and terrible who are what they are because they are beings of magic and nobody is even considering subjecting them to the scientific method.

And this isn't a bad thing! The supernatural fills us with a cold, quiet dread that defies our modern understanding of the world. That's it's job.

The flipside of this, for me, is the JJ Abrams created television show Fringe. I realized that all the wild happenings that kick off each individual episode (including some Big Picture elements I won't discuss due to their spoileriness) could easily be described as spells, precognition, or simply magic. But every time Walter shows up on the scene, everybody turns to him and say, "Whaddya think, Walter?"

And even if Walter doesn't immediately know, his attitude is always that he can figure it out. "But I can't know for sure until I get back to my lab." He should just have a sign. Or I should have a drinking game. Or both.

Now, some wily magus in a fantasy story might act the same way. And there is certainly a point of suspension of disbelief for both types of story. But the attitude is certainly more at home in one type of story than the other.

As a writer, this was a big discovery for me. Did I want to dwell on the details of the weird happenings? Did I want them to be explainable? Did I want my intrepid heroes to stare into the eye of the unknown and overcome their fear to deal with it? Or did I want them to hitch up their lab coats and insist it make an accounting of itself?

Thinking about the tone and feel of the story I'm planning helped me decide if it would work better as sci fi, fantasy, or some mash up. But if it is a mash up, I still know which style I wanted to emphasize. I mean, in a 50-50 situation, everybody still angles for the hyphen, right?

So vive la différence, science fiction and fantasy! We love you for different reasons, but we may not love you deeply until we know those reasons!

The Reluctant Super Non-Hero

I've asked my friend, editor, and fellow Consortium Books author Jessie Sanders to visit and talk about her debut novel, Into the Flames. Several characters in the book, including our very reluctant hero, Rahab, have abilities that could be described as superpowers. This is obviously a subject that eats up an amazing amount of my waking hours. But Jessie brings a different perspective to the subject, one that denies capes, tights, and would-be worldbeaters but would nevertheless, I think, be at home in a low-key take on the X-Men or Runaways. Here's what she has to say.

Superheroes. Everybody loves 'em. Everybody wishes they could be one.

Or do they?

My first novel, Into the Flames, explores the character of the reluctant hero, the absent hero, the herodesperately trying to not be a hero. It's about a girl who happens to have superpowers and wishes with everything in her being that she was just plain normal.

Rahab Carmichael spends the majority of Into the Flames avoiding conflict. She doesn't want anyone to notice her, especially not the school bully, John Madison. When John teases her new friends, she's ashamed that she doesn't have the gumption to stand up to him. But how can she? She was teased relentlessly for being different at her old school, and she's not ready to revisit that experience.

Rather than stepping up and saving the day, Rahab's primary goal is fitting in. I think that's something all teenagers can identify with. We don't have to have superpowers to feel like we're all alone and misunderstood.

I created the world of Grover Cleveland Academy with the idea that my stories would be character-driven and just happen to include powers. I'm not saying that the use of powers should come out of left field and be unrelated to the story. But I was so tired of books where the author was too busy shoving their magic system down the readers' throats to actually tell the story. Instead I wanted to focus on subjects we come in contact with every day.  Something like an introvert starting at a new school.

Rahab Carmichael may have superpowers, but she by no means wants to be a superhero. She ran away from her old school to get a fresh start on life. She chose Grover Cleveland because it was a place that wouldn't allow her to use her powers.

But it seems as though no matter where Rahab goes, a destiny is waiting for her. What if these powers were given to her for a reason? What if they are the only way she can save her friends? We'd all like to think that we have a purpose in life. That we're meant to be part of something greater.

I think each of us has a purpose in life. We're each different, and our differences, though sometimes alienating, are what we can use to bring something new and better to the world around us. That's something I'd like my audience to come away with after they've read Into the Flames. I don't really think that there are kids out there with superpowers, but then, my goal is to mimic life, not reality.

Super Pooper (A Mostly True Story)

"DAD! Where's my Green Lantern mask?"

I sighed. "I don't know, I think you had it in my bedroom this morning. Did you look there?"

The noise of running feet echoed down hallways. Then silence.

"Did you find it?" I yelled from the kitchen.

"Yeah! Where's my Green Lantern ring?"

"I don't know, but if I were a betting man, I'd guess about three inches from where you found the mask."

A brief pause.

"Well?" I asked.

"Not this one, Daddy, the one that lights up."

"Check the bucket of superhero stuff."

There were more running feet, then rummaging noises.

"I got it!"

Another pause.

"Daddy, can I wear a Spider-Man shirt today?"

"Yep, I already laid it out for you on your bed."

"With Spidey undies?"

"If you want them, go ahead and get them out of your drawer."

More running feet and then a ridiculous amount of time passes along with the usual grunting and whispering that comes from my son getting dressed.

"DAD!"

"What NOW?"

"Where are my books about Thor, Captain America, and the Justice League?!?"

"Are you kidding me? Where did you last have them?"

"By my bookshelf!"

"Did you even look by your bookshelf?"

"No!"

Silence.

"Well, go look there." I bellow.

Remember, probably twenty minutes had passed and I had yet to actually see my son. This conversation had gone on entirely at the top of our lungs from different ends of the house. Finally, he appeared in the kitchen wearing his Spidey undies and t-shirt, a Green Lantern mask, a light up Green Lantern ring, and carrying three small books all with colorful superheros emblazoned across the covers.

"Daddy, look at me!"

"You look great, kid. What did you need all that stuff for, anyway?"

"I've gotta go poop!"

He raced away to the bathroom. A few minutes later, when I checked, he sat on the toilet, Spidey shirt hiked up, Spidey undies around his dangling ankles, wide eyes reading a Thor book through his Green Lantern mask, and a ring on his finger flashing intermittently with verdant light. I could only stare for a moment before he looked up.

"What?"

"You're just amazing to me, that's all."

He grinned widely. "Amazing like Spider-Man?"

"Yep." I turned to go, shaking my head. "You just call me when you're done if you need some help."

"Okay daddy!"